It was sacrament Sabbath in the little
Seceder congregation at Blue Mound. Vehicles
denoting various degrees of prosperity were beginning
to arrive before the white meeting-house that stood
in a patch of dog-fennel by the roadside.
The elders were gathered in a solemn,
bareheaded group on the shady side of the building,
arranging matters of deep spiritual portent connected
with the serving of the tables. The women entered
the church as they arrived, carrying or leading their
fat, sunburned, awe-stricken children, and sat in
subdued and reverent silence in the unpainted pews.
There was a smell of pine and peppermint and last week’s
gingerbread in the room, and a faint rustle of bonnet
strings and silk mantillas as each newcomer moved
down the aisle; but there was no turning of heads or
vain, indecorous curiosity concerning arrivals on the
part of those already in the pews.
Outside, the younger men moved about
slowly in their creased black clothes, or stood in
groups talking covertly of the corn planting which
had begun; there was an evident desire to compensate
by lowered voices and lack of animated speech for
the manifest irreverence of the topic.
Marg’et Ann and her mother came
in the farm wagon, that the assisting minister, the
Rev. Samuel McClanahan, who was to preach the “action
sermon,” might ride in the buggy with the pastor.
There were four wooden chairs in the box of the wagon,
and the floor was strewn with sweet-scented timothy
and clover. Mrs. Morrison and Miss Nancy McClanahan,
who had come with her brother from Cedar Township to
communion, sat in two of the chairs, and Marg’et
Ann and her younger sister occupied the others.
One of the boys sat on the high spring seat with his
brother Laban, who drove the team, and the other children
were distributed on the hay between their elders.
Marg’et Ann wore her mother’s
changeable silk made over and a cottage bonnet with
pink silk strings and skirt and a white ruche with
a wreath of pink flowers in the face trimming.
Her brown hair was combed over her ears like a sheet
of burnished bronze and held out by puff combs, and
she had a wide embroidered collar, shaped like a halo,
fastened by a cairngorm in a square setting of gold.
Miss Nancy McClanahan and her mother
talked in a subdued way of the Fast Day services,
and of the death of Squire Davidson, who lived the
other side of the creek, and the probable result of
Esther Jane Skinner’s trouble with her chest.
There was a tacit avoidance of all subjects pertaining
to the flesh except its ailments, but there was no
long-faced hypocrisy in the tones or manner of the
two women. Marg’et Ann listened to them
and watched the receding perspective of the corn rows
in the brown fields. She had her token tied securely
in the corner of her handkerchief, and every time
she felt it she thought regretfully of Lloyd Archer.
She had hoped he would make a confession of faith this
communion, but he had not come before the session at
all. She knew he had doubts concerning close
communion, and she had heard him say that certain
complications of predestination and free will did not
appear reasonable to him. Marg’et Ann thought
it very daring of him to exact reasonableness of those
in spiritual high places. She would as soon have
thought of criticising the Creator for making the sky
blue instead of green as for any of His immutable
decrees as set forth in the Confession of Faith.
It did not prevent her liking Lloyd Archer that her
father and several of the elders whom he had ventured
to engage in religious discussion pronounced him a
dangerous young man, but it made it impossible for
her to marry him. So she had been quite anxious
that he should see his way clear to join the church.
They had talked about it during intermission
last Sabbath; but Marg’et Ann, having arrived
at her own position by a process of complete self-abnegation,
found it hard to know how to proceed with this stalwart
sinner who insisted upon understanding things.
It is true he spoke humbly enough of himself, as one
who had not her light, but Marg’et Ann was quite
aware that she did not believe the Catechism because
she understood it. She had no doubt it could
be understood, and she thought regretfully that Lloyd
Archer would be just the man to understand it if he
would study it in the right spirit. Just what
the right spirit was she could not perhaps have formulated,
except that it was the spirit that led to belief in
the Catechism. She had hoped that he would come
to a knowledge of the truth through the ministrations
of the Rev. Samuel McClanahan, who was said to be
very powerful in argument; but he had found fault
with Mr. McClanahan’s logic on Fast Day in a
way that was quite disheartening, and he evidently
did not intend to come forward this communion at all.
Her father had spoken several times in a very hopeless
manner of Lloyd’s continued resistance of the
Holy Spirit, and Marg’et Ann thought with a
shiver of Squire Atwater, who was an infidel, and
was supposed by some to have committed the unpardonable
sin. She remembered once when she and one of the
younger boys had gone into his meadow for wild strawberries
he had come out and talked to them in a jovial way,
and when they were leaving, had patted her little
brother’s head, and told him, with a great, corpulent
laugh, to “ask his father how the devil could
be chained to the bottomless pit.” She did
not believe Lloyd could become like that, but still
it was dangerous to resist the Spirit.
Miss Nancy McClanahan had a bit of
mint between the leaves of her psalm-book, and she
smelled it now and then in a niggardly way, as if
the senses should be but moderately indulged on the
Sabbath. She had on black netted mitts which
left the enlarged knuckles of her hands exposed, and
there was a little band of Guinea gold on one of her
fingers, with two almost obliterated hearts in loving
juxtaposition. Marg’et Ann knew that she
had been a hardworking mother to the Rev. Samuel’s
family ever since the death of his wife, and she wondered
vaguely how it would seem to take care of Laban’s
children in case Lloyd should fail to make his peace
with God.
When they drove to the door of the
meeting-house, Archibald Skinner came down the walk
to help them dismount. Mrs. Morrison shook hands
with him kindly and asked after his sister’s
cough, and whether his Grandfather Elliott was still
having trouble with his varicose veins. She handed
the children to him one by one, and he lifted them
to the ground with an easy swing, replacing their
hats above their tubular curls after the descent,
and grinning good-naturedly into their round, awe-filled,
freckled countenances.
Miss Nancy got out of the wagon backwards,
making a maidenly effort to keep the connection between
the hem of her black silk skirt and the top of her
calf-skin shoes inviolate, and brushing the dust of
the wagon wheel from her dress carefully after her
safe arrival in the dog-fennel. Marg’et
Ann ignored the chair which had been placed beside
the wagon for the convenience of her elders, and sprang
from the wheel, placing her hands lightly in those
of the young man, who deposited her safely beside
her mother and turned toward her sister Rebecca with
a blush that extended to the unfreckled spaces of
his hairy, outstretched hands, and explained his lively
interest in the disembarkation of the family.
Laban drove the team around the corner
to a convenient hitching-place, and the women and
children went up the walk to the church door.
Mrs. Morrison stopped a moment on the step to remove
the hats of the younger boys, whose awe of the sanctuary
seemed to have deprived them of volition, and they
all proceeded down the aisle to the minister’s
pew.
The pastor and the Rev. Samuel McClanahan
were already in the pulpit, their presence there being
indicated by two tufts of hair, one black and the
other sandy, which arose above the high reading-desk;
and the elders having filed into the room and distributed
themselves in the ends of the various well-filled
pews, the young men and boys followed their example,
the latter taking a sudden start at the door and projecting
themselves into their places with a concentration
of purpose that seemed almost apoplectic in its results.
There was a deep, premonitory stillness,
broken only by the precentor, who covertly struck
his tuning-fork on the round of his chair, and held
it to his ear with a faint, accordant hum; then the
minister arose and spread his hands in solemn invocation
above the little flock.
“Let us pray.”
Every one in the house arose.
Even old Mrs. Groesbeck, who had sciatica, allowed
her husband and her son Ebenezer to assist her to her
feet, and the children who were too small to see over
the backs of the pews slipped from their seats and
stood in downcast stillness within the high board
inclosures.
After the prayer, Mr. Morrison read
the psalm. It was Rouse’s version:
“I joy’d when to the house
of God,
Go up, they said to me.
Jerusalem, within thy gates
Our feet shall standing be.
Jerus’lem as a city is
Compactly built together.
Unto that place the tribes go up,
The tribes of God go thither.”
The minister read it all and “lined
out” the first couplet. Then the precentor,
a tall, thin man, whose thinness was enveloped but
not alleviated by an alpaca coat, struck his tuning-fork
more openly and launched into the highly rarefied
atmosphere of “China,” being quite alone
in his vocal flight until the congregation joined him
in the more accessible regions of the second line.
Marg’et Ann shared her psalm-book
with Laban, who sat beside her. He had hurt his
thumb shelling seed corn, and his mother had made him
a clean thumb-stall for Sabbath. It was with
this shrouded member that he held the edge of the
psalm-book awkwardly. Laban’s voice was
in that uncertain stage in which its vagaries astonished
no one so much as its owner, but he joined in the
singing. “Let all the people praise Thee”
was a command not to be lightly set aside for worldly
considerations of harmony and fitness, and so Laban
sang, his callow and ill-adjusted soul divided between
fears that the people would hear him and that the
Lord would not.
Marg’et Ann listened for Lloyd
Archer’s deep bass voice in the Amen corner.
She wished his feet were standing
within the gates of Jerusalem, as he so resonantly
announced that they would be. But whatever irreverence
there might be in poor Laban refusing to sing what
he did not dream of doubting, there was no impiety
to these devout souls in Lloyd Archer’s
joining with them in the vocal proclamation of things
concerning which he had very serious doubts.
Not that Jerusalem, either new or
old, was one of these things; the young man himself
was not conscious of any heresy there; he believed
in Jerusalem, in the church militant upon earth and
triumphant in heaven, and in many deeper and more
devious theological doctrines as well. Indeed,
his heterodoxy was of so mild a type that, viewed by
the incandescent light of to-day, which is not half
a century later, it shines with the clear blue radiance
of flawless Calvinism.
If the tedious “lining out,”
traditionally sacred, was quite unreasonable and superfluous,
commemorating nothing but the days of hunted Covenanters
and few psalm-books and fewer still who were able to
read them, perhaps the remembrance of these things
was as conducive to thankfulness of heart as David’s
recital of the travails and triumphs of ancient Israel.
Certain it is that profound gratitude to God and devotion
to duty characterized the lives of most of these men
and women who sang the praises of their Maker in this
halting and unmusical fashion.
Marg’et Ann sang in a high and
somewhat nasal treble, compassing the extra feet of
Mr. Rouse’s doubtful version with skill, and
gliding nimbly over the gaps in prosody by the aid
of his dextrously elongated syllables.
Some of the older men seemed to dwell
upon these peculiarities of versification as being
distinctively ecclesiastical and therefore spiritually
edifying, and brought up the musical rear of such couplets
with long-drawn and profoundly impressive “shy-un’s”
and “i-tee’s;” but these irregularities
found little favor in the eyes of the younger people,
who had attended singing-school and learned to read
buckwheat notes under the direction of Jonathan Loomis,
the precentor.
Marg’et Ann listened to the
Rev. Mr. McClanahan’s elaborately divided discourse,
wondering what piece of the logical puzzle Lloyd would
declare to be missing; and she glanced rather wistfully
once or twice toward the Amen corner where the young
man sat, with his head thrown back and his eager eyes
fixed upon the minister’s face.
When the intermission came, she ate
her sweet cake and her triangle of dried apple pie
with the others, and then walked toward the graveyard
behind the church. She knew that Lloyd would follow
her, and she prayed for grace to speak a word in season.
The young man stalked through the
tall grass that choked the path of the little inclosure
until he overtook her under a blossoming crab-apple
tree.
He had been “going with”
Marg’et Ann more than a year, and there was
generally supposed to be an understanding between them.
She turned when he came up, and put
out her hand without embarrassment, but she blushed
as pink as the crab-apple bloom in his grasp.
They talked a little of commonplace
things, and Marg’et Ann looked down and swallowed
once or twice before she said gravely,
“I hoped you’d come forward this sacrament,
Lloyd.”
The young man’s brow clouded.
“I’ve told you I can’t
join the church without telling a lie, Marg’et
Ann. You wouldn’t want me to tell a lie,”
he said, flushing hotly.
She shook her head, looking down,
and twisting her handkerchief into a ball in her hands.
“I know you have doubts about
some things; but I thought they might be removed by
prayer. Have you prayed earnestly to have them
removed?” She looked up at him anxiously.
“I’ve asked to be made
to see things right,” he replied, choking a
little over this unveiling of his holy of holies; “but
I don’t seem to be able to see some things as
you do.”
She pondered an instant, looking absently
at the headstone of “Hephzibah,” who was
the later of Robert McCoy’s two beloved wives,
then she said, with an effort, for these staid descendants
of Scottish ancestry were not given to glib talking
of sacred things:
“I suppose doubts are sent to
try our faith; but we have the promise that they will
be removed if we ask in the right spirit. Are
you sure you have asked in the right spirit, Lloyd?”
“I have prayed for light, but
I haven’t asked to have my doubts removed, Marg’et
Ann; I don’t know that I want to believe what
doesn’t appear reasonable to me.”
The girl lifted a troubled, tremulous face to his.
“That isn’t the right
spirit, Lloyd, you know it isn’t.
How can God remove your doubts if you don’t
want him to?”
The young man reached up and broke
off a twig of the round, pink crab-apple buds and
rolled the stem between his work-hardened hands.
“I’ve asked for light,”
he repeated, “and if when it comes I see things
different, I’ll say so; but I can’t want
to believe what I don’t believe, and I can’t
pray for what I don’t want.”
The triangle of Marg’et Ann’s
brow between her burnished satin puffs of hair took
on two upright, troubled lines. She unfolded her
handkerchief nervously, and her token fell with a
ringing sound against tired Hephzibah’s gravestone
and rolled down above her patiently folded hands.
Lloyd stooped and searched for it
in the grass. When he found it he gave it to
her silently, and their hands met. Poor Marg’et
Ann! No hunted Covenanter amid Scottish heather
was more a martyr to his faith than this rose-cheeked
girl amid Iowa cornfields. She took the bit of
flattened lead and pressed it between her burning palms.
“I hope you won’t get
hardened in unbelief, Lloyd,” she said soberly.
The congregation was drifting toward
the church again, and the young people turned.
Lloyd touched the iridescent silk of her wide sleeve.
“You ain’t a-going to
let this make any difference between you and me, are
you, Marg’et Ann?” he pleaded.
“I don’t know,”
wavered the girl. “I hope you’ll be
brought to a sense of your true condition, Lloyd.”
She hesitated, smoothing the sheen of her skirt.
“It would be an awful cross to father and mother.”
The young man fell behind her in the
narrow path, and they walked to the church door in
unhappy silence.
Inside, the elders had accomplished
the spreading of the tables with slow-moving, awkward
reverence. The spotless drapery swayed a little
in the afternoon breeze, and there was a faint fruity
smell of communion wine in the room.
The two ministers and some of the
older communicants sat with bowed heads, in deep spiritual
isolation.
The solemn stillness of self-examination
pervaded the room, and Marg’et Ann went to her
seat with a vague stirring of resentment in her heart
toward the Rev. Samuel McClanahan, who, with all his
learning, could not convince this one lost sheep of
the error of his theological way. She put aside
such thoughts, however, before the serving of the tables,
and walked humbly down the aisle behind her mother,
singing the one hundred and sixteenth psalm to the
quaint rising and falling cadences of “Dundee.”
Once, while the visiting pastor addressed
the communicants, she thought how it would simplify
matters if Lloyd were sitting opposite her, and then
caught her breath as the minister adjured each one
to examine himself, lest eating and drinking unworthily
he should eat and drink damnation to himself.
It was almost sunset when the service
ended, and as the Morrisons drove into the lane the
smell of jimson-weed was heavy on the evening air,
and they could hear the clank of the cow bells in
the distance.
Marg’et Ann went to her room
to lay aside her best dress and get ready for the
milking, and Mrs. Morrison and Rebecca made haste to
see about supper.
Miss Nancy McClanahan walked about
the garden in her much made-over black silk, and compared
the progress of Mrs. Morrison’s touch-me-nots
and four-o’clocks with her own, nipping herself
a sprig of tansy from the patch under the Bowerly
apple-tree.
She shared Marg’et Ann’s
room that night, and after she had taken off her lace
headdress and put a frilled nightcap over her lonesome
little knot of gray hair and said her prayers, she
composed herself on her pillow with a patient sigh,
and lay watching Marg’et Ann crowd her burnished
braids into her close-fitting cap without speaking;
but after the light was out, and her companion had
lain down beside her, the old maid placed her knotted
hand on the girl’s more shapely one, and said:
“There’s worse things
than living single, Marg’et Ann, and then again
I suppose there’s better. Of course every
girl has her chances, and the people we make sacrifices
for don’t always seem quite as grateful as we
calculated they’d be. I’m not repinin’,
but I sometimes think if I had my life to live over
again I’d do different.”
Marg’et Ann pressed the knotted
fingers, that felt like a handful of hickory nuts,
and touched the little circle with its two worn-out
hearts, but she said nothing.
She had heard that the Rev. Samuel
McClanahan was going to marry the youngest Groesbeck
girl, now that his children were “getting well
up out of the way,” and she knew that her mother
had been telling Miss Nancy something about her own
love affair with Lloyd Archer.
Whatever Mrs. Morrison may have confided
to Miss Nancy McClanahan concerning Marg’et
Ann and her lover must have been entirely suppositional
and therefore liable to error; for the confidence between
parent and child did not extend into the mysteries
of love and marriage, nor would the older woman have
dreamed of intruding upon the sacred precinct of her
daughter’s feelings toward a young man.
She had remarked once or twice to her husband that
she was afraid sometimes that there was something
between Lloyd Archer and Marg’et Ann; but whether
this something was a barrier or a bond she left the
worthy minister to divine.
That he had decided upon the latter
was evidenced, perhaps, by his reply that he hoped
not, and his fear, which he had expressed before, that
Lloyd was getting more and more settled in habits of
unbelief; and Mrs. Morrison took occasion to remark
the next day in her daughter’s hearing that
she would hate to have a child of hers marry an unbeliever.
Marg’et Ann did not, however,
need any of these helps to an understanding of her
parents’ position. She knew too well the
danger that was supposed to threaten him who indulged
in vain and unprofitable questionings, and she had
too often heard the vanity of human reason proclaimed
to feel any pride in the readiness with which Lloyd
had answered Squire Wilson in the argument they had
on foreordination at Hiram Graham’s infare.
Indeed, she had felt it a personal rebuke when her
father had said on the way home that he hoped no child
of his would ever set up his feeble intellect against
the eternal purposes of God, as Lloyd Archer was doing.
Marg’et Ann knew perfectly well that if she
married Lloyd in his present unregenerate state she
would, in the estimation of her father and mother,
be endangering the safety of her own soul, which,
though presumably of the elect, could never be conclusively
so proved until the gates of Paradise should close
behind it.
She pondered on these things, and
talked of them sometimes with Lloyd, rather unsatisfactorily,
it is true; for that rising theologian bristled with
questions which threw her troubled soul into a tumult
of fear and uncertainty.
It was this latter feeling, perhaps,
which distressed her most in her calmer moments; for
it was gradually forcing itself upon poor Marg’et
Ann that she must either snatch her lover as a brand
from the burning or be herself drawn into the flames.
She had taken the summer school down
on Cedar Creek, and Lloyd used to ride down for her
on Friday evenings when the creek was high.
Rebecca and Archie Skinner were to
be married in the fall, and her mother, who had been
ailing a little all summer, would need her at home
when Rebecca was gone. Still, this would not have
stood in the way of her marriage had everything else
been satisfactory; and Lloyd suspected as much when
she urged it as a reason for delay.
“If anybody has to stay at home
on your mother’s account, why not let Archie
Skinner and Becky put off their wedding a while?
They’re younger, and they haven’t been
going together near as long as we have,” said
Lloyd, in answer to her excuses.
They were riding home on horseback
one Friday night, and Lloyd had just told her that
Martin Prather was going back to Ohio to take care
of the old folks, and would rent his farm very reasonably.
Marg’et Ann had on a slat sunbonnet
which made her profile about as attractive as an “elbow”
of stovepipe, but it had the advantage of hiding the
concern that Lloyd’s questioning brought into
her face. It could not, however, keep it out
of her voice.
“I don’t know, Lloyd,”
she began hesitatingly; then she turned toward him
suddenly, and let him see all the pain and trouble
and regret that her friendly headgear had been sheltering.
“Oh, I do wish you could come to see
things different!” she broke out tremulously.
The young man was quiet for an instant,
and then said huskily, “I just thought you had
something like that in your mind, Marg’et Ann.
If you’ve concluded to wait till I join the
church we might as well give it up. I don’t
believe in close communion, and I can’t see any
harm in occasional hearing, and I haven’t heard
any minister yet that can reconcile free will and
election; the more I think about it the less I believe;
I think there is about as much hope of your changing
as there is of me. I don’t see what all
this fuss is about, anyway. Arch Skinner isn’t
a church member!”
It was hard for Marg’et Ann
to say why Archie Skinner’s case was considered
more hopeful than Lloyd’s. She knew perfectly
well, and so did her lover, for that matter, but it
was not easy to formulate.
“Ain’t you afraid you’ll
get to believing less and less if you go on arguing,
Lloyd?” she asked, ignoring Archie Skinner altogether.
“I don’t know,” said Lloyd somewhat
sullenly.
They were riding up the lane in the
scant shadow of the white locust trees. The corn
was in tassel now, and rustled softly in the fields
on either side. There was no other sound for
a while. Then Marg’et Ann spoke.
“I’ll see what father thinks”
“No, you won’t, Marg’et
Ann,” broke in Lloyd obstinately. “I
think a good deal of your father, but I don’t
want to marry him; and I don’t ask you to promise
to marry the fellow I ought to be, or that you think
I ought to be; I’ve asked you to marry me.
I don’t care what you believe and I don’t
care what your father thinks; I want to know what you
think.”
Poor Lloyd made all this energetic
avowal without the encouragement of a blush or a smile,
or the discouragement of a frown or a tear. All
this that a lover watches for anxiously was hidden
by a wall of slats and green-checked gingham.
She turned her tubular head covering
toward him presently, however, showing him all the
troubled pink prettiness it held, and said very genuinely
through her tears,
“Oh, Lloyd, you know well enough what I think!”
They had reached the gate, and it
was a very much mollified face which the young man
raised to hers as he helped her to dismount.
“Your father and mother wouldn’t
stand in the way of our getting married, would they?”
he asked, as she stood beside him.
“Oh, no, they wouldn’t
stand in the way,” faltered poor Marg’et
Ann.
How could she explain to this muscular
fellow, whose pale-faced mother had no creed but what
Lloyd thought or wanted or liked, that it was their
unspoken grief that made it hard for her? How
shall any woman explain her family ties to any man?
Marg’et Ann did not need to
consult her father. He looked up from his writing
when she entered the door.
“Was that Lloyd Archer, Marg’et Ann?”
he asked kindly.
“Yes, sir.”
“I’d a little rather you
wouldn’t go with him. He seems to be falling
into a state of mind that is likely to end in infidelity.
It troubles your mother and me a good deal.”
Marg’et Ann went into the bedroom
to take off her riding skirt, and she did not come
out until she was sure no one could see that she had
been crying.
Mrs. Morrison continued to complain
all through the fall; at least so her neighbors said,
although the good woman had never been known to murmur;
and Marg’et Ann said nothing whatever about her
engagement to Lloyd Archer.
Late in October Archie Skinner and
Rebecca were married and moved to the Martin Prather
farm, and Lloyd, restless and chafing under all this
silence and delay, had no longer anything to suggest
when Marg’et Ann urged her mother’s failing
health as a reason for postponing their marriage.
Before the crab-apples bloomed again
Mrs. Morrison’s life went out as quietly as
it had been lived. There was a short, sharp illness
at the last, and in one of the pauses of the pain
the sick woman lay watching her daughter, who was
alone with her.
“I’m real glad there was
nothing between you and Lloyd Archer, Marg’et
Ann,” she said feebly; “that would have
troubled me a good deal. You’ll have your
father and the children to look after. Nancy Helen
will be coming up pretty soon, and be some help; she
grows fast. You’ll have to manage along
as best you can.”
The girl’s sorely troubled heart
failed her. Her eyes burned and her throat ached
with the effort of self-control. She buried her
face in the patchwork quilt beside her mother’s
hand. The woman stroked her hair tenderly.
“Don’t cry, Marg’et
Ann,” she said, “don’t cry.
You’ll get on. It’s the Lord’s
will.”
The evening after the funeral Lloyd
Archer came over, and Marg’et Ann walked up
the lane with him. She was glad to get away from
the Sabbath hush of the house, which the neighbors
had made so pathetically neat, taking up
the dead woman’s task where she had left it,
and doing everything with scrupulous care, as if they
feared some vision of neglected duty might disturb
her rest.
The frost was out of the ground and
the spring plowing had begun. There was a smell
of fresh earth from the furrows, and a red-bud tree
in the thicket was faintly pink.
Lloyd was silent and troubled, and
Marg’et Ann could not trust her voice.
They walked on without speaking, and the dusk was deepening
before they turned to go back. Marg’et Ann
had thrown a little homespun shawl over her head,
for there was a memory of frost in the air, but it
had fallen back and Lloyd could see her profile with
its new lines of grief in the dim light.
“It don’t seem right,
Marg’et Ann,” he began in a voice strained
almost to coldness by intensity of feeling.
“But it is right, we
know that, Lloyd,” interrupted the girl; then
she turned and threw both arms about his neck and buried
her face on his shoulder. “Oh, Lloyd, I
can’t bear it I can’t bear it
alone you must help me to be to
be reconciled!”
The young man laid his cheek upon
her soft hair. There was nothing but hot, unspoken
rebellion in his heart. They stood still an instant,
and then Marg’et Ann raised her head and drew
the little shawl up and caught it under her quivering
chin.
“We must go in,” she said staidly, choking
back her sobs.
Lloyd laid his hands on her shoulders and drew her
toward him again.
“Is there no help, Marg’et
Ann?” he said piteously, looking into her tear-stained
face. In his heart he knew there was none.
He had gone over the ground a thousand times since
he had seen her standing beside her mother’s
open grave with the group of frightened children clinging
to her.
“God is our refuge and our strength,
In straits a present aid;
Therefore, although the earth remove
We will not be afraid,”
repeated the girl, her sweet voice
breaking into a whispered sob at the end. They
walked to the step and stood there for a moment in
silence.
The minister opened the door.
“Is that you, Marg’et
Ann,” he asked. “I think we’d
better have worship now; the children are getting
sleepy.”
Almost a year before patient, tireless
Esther Morrison’s eternal holiday had come,
a man, walking leisurely along an empty mill-race,
had picked up a few shining yellow particles, holding
in his hand for an instant the destiny of half the
world. Every restless soul that could break its
moorings was swept westward on the wave of excitement
that followed. Blue Mound felt the magnetism
of those bits of yellow metal along with the rest
of the world, and wild stories were told at singing-school
and in harvest fields of the fortunes that awaited
those who crossed the plains.
Lloyd Archer, eager, restless, and
discontented, caught the fever among the first.
Marg’et Ann listened to his plans, heartsore
and helpless. She had ceased to advise him.
There was a tacit acknowledgment on her part that
she had forfeited her right to influence his life in
any way. As for him, unconsciously jealous of
the devotion to duty that made her precious to him
and unable to solve the problem himself, he yet felt
injured that she could not be true to him and to his
ideal of her as well. If she had left the plain
path and gone with him into the byways, his heart
would have remained forever with the woman he had loved,
and not with the woman who had so loved him; and yet
he sometimes urged her to do this thing, so strange
a riddle is the “way of a man with a maid.”
Lloyd had indulged a hope which he
could not mention to any one, least of all to Marg’et
Ann, that the minister would marry again in due season.
But nothing pointed to a fulfillment of this wish.
The good man seemed far more interested in the abolition
of slavery in the South than in the release of his
daughter from bondage to her own flesh and blood,
Lloyd said to himself, with the bitterness of youth.
Indeed, the household had moved on with so little
change in the comfort of its worthy head that a knowledge
of Lloyd’s wishes would have been quite as startling
to the object of them as the young man’s reasons
for their indulgence.
The gold fever had seemed to the minister
a moral disorder, calling for spiritual remedies,
which he had not failed to administer in such quantity
and of such strength as corresponded with the religious
therapeutics of the day.
Marg’et Ann hinted of this when
her lover came to her with his plans.
She was making soap, and although
they stood on the windward side of the kettle, her
eyes were red from the smoke of the hickory logs.
“Do you think it is just right,
Lloyd?” she asked, stirring the unsavory concoction
slowly with a wooden paddle. “Isn’t
it just a greed for gold, like gambling?”
Lloyd put both elbows on the top of
the ash hopper and looked at her laughingly.
He had on a straw hat lined with green calico, and
his trousers were of blue jeans, held up by “galluses”
of the same; but he was a handsome fellow, with sound
white teeth and thick curling locks.
“I don’t know as a greed
for gold is any worse than a greed for corn,”
he said, trying to curb his voice into seriousness.
“But corn is useful it
is food and, besides, you work for it.”
Marg’et Ann pushed her sunbonnet back and looked
at him anxiously.
“Well, I’ve planted a
good deal more corn than I expect to eat this year,
and I was calculating to sell some of it for gold, you
wouldn’t think that was wrong, would you, Marg’et
Ann?”
“No, of course not; but some
one will eat it, it’s useful,”
maintained the girl earnestly.
“I haven’t found anything
more useful than money yet,” persisted the young
man good-naturedly; “but if I come home from
California with two or three bags full of gold, I’ll
buy up a township and raise corn by the wholesale, that’ll
make it all right, won’t it?”
Marg’et Ann laughed in spite of herself.
“You’re such a case, Lloyd,”
she said, not without a note of admiration in her
reproof.
When it came to the parting there
was little said. Marg’et Ann hushed her
lover’s assurances with her own, given amid blinding
tears.
“I’ll be just the same,
Lloyd, no matter what happens, but I can’t let
you make any promises; it wouldn’t be right.
I can’t expect you to wait for me. You
must do whatever seems right to you; but there won’t
be any harm in my loving you, at least
as long as you don’t care for anybody else.”
The young man said what a young man
usually says when he is looking into trustful brown
eyes, filled with tears he has caused and cannot prevent,
and at the moment, in the sharp pain of parting, the
words of one were not more or less sincere than those
of the other.
The years that followed moved slowly,
weighted as they were with hard work and monotony
for Marg’et Ann, and by the time the voice of
the corn had changed three times from the soft whispering
of spring to the hoarse rustling of autumn, she felt
herself old and tired.
There had been letters and messages
and rumors, more or less reliable, repeated at huskings
and quiltings, to keep her informed of the fortunes
of those who had crossed the plains, but her own letters
from Lloyd had been few and unsatisfactory. She
could not complain of this strict compliance with
her wishes, but she had not counted upon the absence
of her lover’s mother, who had gone to Ohio
shortly after his departure and decided to remain
there with a married daughter. There was no one
left in the neighborhood who could expect to hear
directly from Lloyd, and the reports that came from
other members of the party he had joined told little
that poor Marg’et Ann wished to know, beyond
the fact that he was well and had suffered the varying
fortunes of other gold-hunters.
There were moments of bitterness in
which she tried to picture to herself what her life
might have been if she had braved her parents’
disapproval and married Lloyd before her mother’s
death; but there was never a moment bitter enough
to tempt her into any neglect of present duty.
The milking, the butter-making, the washing, the spinning,
all the relentless hard work of the women of her day,
went on systematically from the beginning of the year
to its end, and the younger children came to accept
her patient ministrations as unquestioningly as they
had accepted their mother’s.
She wondered sometimes at her own
anxiety to know that Lloyd was true to her, reproaching
herself meanwhile with puritanic severity for such
unholy selfishness; but she discussed the various plaids
for the children’s flannel dresses with Mrs.
Skinner, who did the weaving, and cut and sewed and
dyed the rags for a new best room carpet with the same
conscientious regard for art in the distribution of
the stripes which was displayed by all the women of
her acquaintance; indeed, there was no one among them
all whose taste in striping a carpet, or in “piecing
and laying out a quilt,” was more sought after
than Marg’et Ann’s.
“She always was the old-fashionedest
little thing,” said grandmother Elliott, who
had been a member of Mr. Morrison’s congregation
back in Ohio. “I never did see her beat.”
The good old lady’s remark, which was considered
highly commendatory, and had nothing whatever to do
with the frivolities of changing custom, was made
at a quilting at Squire Wilson’s, from which
Marg’et Ann chanced to be absent.
“It’s a pity she don’t
seem to get married,” said Mrs. Barnes, who was
marking circles in the white patches of the quilt by
means of an inverted teacup of flowing blue; “she’s
the kind of a girl I’d ‘a’
thought young men would ‘a’ took up with.”
“Marg’et Ann never was
much for the boys,” said grandmother Elliott,
disposed to defend her favorite, “and dear knows
she has her hands full; it’s quite a chore to
look after all them children.”
The women maintained a charitable
silence. The ethics of their day did not recognize
any womanly duty inconsistent with matrimony.
“A disappointment” was considered the
only dignified reason for remaining single. Grandmother
Elliott felt the weakness of her position.
“I’m sure I don’t
see how her father would get on,” she protested
feebly; “he ain’t much of a hand to manage.”
“If Marg’et Ann was to
marry, her father would have to stir round and get
himself a wife,” said Mrs. Barnes, with cheerful
lack of sentiment, confident that her audience was
with her.
“I’ve always had a notion
Marg’et Ann thought a good deal more of Lloyd
Archer than she let on, at least more than
her folks knew anything about,” asserted Mrs.
Skinner, stretching her plump arm under the quilt
and feeling about carefully. “I shouldn’t
wonder if she’d had quite a disappointment.”
“I would have hated to see her
marry Lloyd Archer,” protested grandmother Elliott;
“she’s a sight too good for him; he’s
always had queer notions.”
“Well, I should ‘a’
thought myself she could ‘a’ done better,”
admitted Mrs. Barnes, “but somehow she hasn’t.
I tell ’Lisha it’s more of a disgrace
to the young man than it is to her.”
Evidently this discussion of poor
Marg’et Ann’s dismal outlook matrimonially
was not without precedent.
One person was totally oblivious to
the facts and all surmises concerning them. Theoretically,
no doubt, the good minister esteemed it a reproach
that any woman should remain unmarried; but there are
theories which refinement finds it easy to separate
from daily life, and no thought of Marg’et Ann’s
future intruded upon her father’s deep and daily
increasing distress over the wrongs of human slavery.
Marg’et Ann was conscious sometimes of a change
in him; he went often and restlessly to see Squire
Kirkendall, who kept an underground railroad station,
and not infrequently a runaway negro was harbored at
the Morrisons’. Strange to say, these frightened
and stealthy visitors, dirty and repulsive though
they were, excited no fear in the minds of the children,
to whom the slave had become almost an object of reverence.
Marg’et Ann read her first novel
that year, a story called “Uncle Tom’s
Cabin,” which appeared in the “National
Era,” read it and wept over it, adding
all the intensity of her antislavery training to the
enjoyment of a hitherto forbidden pleasure. She
did not fail to note her father’s eagerness
for the arrival of the paper; and recalled the fact
that he had once objected to her reading “Pilgrim’s
Progress” on the Sabbath.
“It’s useful, perhaps,”
he had said, “useful in its way and in its place,
but it is fiction nevertheless.”
There were many vexing questions of
church discipline that winter, and the Rev. Samuel
McClanahan rode over from Cedar Township often and
held long theological discussions with her father
in the privacy of the best room. Once Squire
Wilson came with him, and as the two visitors left
the house Marg’et Ann heard the Rev. Samuel
urging upon the elder the necessity of “holding
up Brother Morrison’s hands.”
It was generally known among the congregation
that Abner Kirkendall had been before the session
for attending the Methodist Church and singing an
uninspired hymn in the public worship of God, and it
was whispered that the minister was not properly impressed
with the heinousness of Abner’s sin. Then,
too, Jonathan Loomis, the precentor, who had at first
insisted upon lining out two lines of the psalm instead
of one, and had carried his point, now pushed his
dangerous liberality to the extreme of not lining
out at all. The first time he was guilty of this
startling innovation, “Rushin’ through
the sawm,” as Uncle John Turnbull afterwards
said, “without deegnity, as if it were a mere
human cawmposeetion,” two or three of the older
members arose and left the church; and the presbytery
was shaken to its foundations of Scotch granite when
Mr. Morrison humbly acknowledged that he had not noticed
the precentor’s bold sally until Brother Turnbull’s
departure attracted his attention.
It is true that the minister had preached
most acceptably that day from the ninth and twelfth
verses of the thirty-fifth chapter of Job: “By
reason of the multitude of oppressions they make
the oppressed to cry: they cry out by reason
of the arm of the mighty.... There they cry, but
none giveth answer, because of the pride of evil men.”
And it is possible that the zeal for freedom that
burned in his soul was rather gratified than otherwise
by Jonathan’s bold singing of the prophetic
psalm:
“He out of darkness did them bring
And from Death’s shade
them take,
Those bands wherewith they had been bound
Asunder quite he brake.
“O that men to the Lord would give
Praise for His goodness then,
And for His works of wonder done
Unto the sons of men.”
But such absorbing enthusiasm, even
in a good cause, argued a doctrinal laxity which could
not pass unnoticed.
“A deegnifyin’ of the
creature above the Creator, the sign above the thing
seegnified,” Uncle Johnnie Turnbull urged upon
the session, smarting from the deep theological wound
he had suffered at Jonathan’s hands.
A perceptible chill crept into the
ecclesiastical atmosphere which Marg’et Ann
felt without thoroughly comprehending.
Nancy Helen was sixteen now, and Marg’et
Ann had taught the summer school at Yankee Neck, riding
home every evening to superintend the younger sister’s
housekeeping.
Laban had emerged from the period
of unshaven awkwardness, and was going to see Emeline
Barnes with ominous regularity.
There was nothing in the affairs of
the household to trouble Marg’et Ann but her
father’s ever increasing restlessness and preoccupation.
She wondered if it would have been different if her
mother had lived. There was no great intimacy
between the father and daughter, but the girl knew
that the wrongs of the black man had risen like a dense
cloud between her father and what had once been his
highest duty and pleasure.
She was not, therefore, greatly surprised
when he said to her one day, more humbly than he was
wont to speak to his children:
“I think I must try to do something
for those poor people, child; it may not be much,
but it will be something. The harvest truly is
great, but the laborers are few.”
“What will you do, father?”
Marg’et Ann asked the question
hesitatingly, dreading the reply. The minister
looked at her with anxious eagerness. He was glad
of the humble acquiescence that obliged him to put
his half-formed resolution into words.
“If the presbytery will release
me from my charge here, I may go South for a while.
Nancy Helen is quite a girl now, and with Laban and
your teaching you could get on. They are bruised
for our iniquities, Marg’et Ann, they
are our iniquities, indirectly, child.”
He got up and walked across the rag-carpeted
floor. Marg’et Ann sat still in her mother’s
chair, looking down at the stripes of the carpet, dark
blue and red and “hit or miss;” her mother
had made them so patiently; it seemed as if patience
were always under foot for heroism to tread upon.
She fought with the ache in her throat a little.
The stripes on the floor were beginning to blur when
she spoke.
“Isn’t it dangerous to
go down there, father, for people like us, for
Abolitionists, I mean; I have heard that it was.”
“Dangerous!” The preacher’s
face lighted with the faint, prophetic joy of martyrdom;
poor Marg’et Ann had touched the wrong chord.
“It cannot be worse for me than it is for them, I
must go,” he broke out impatiently; “do
not say anything against it, child!”
And so Marg’et Ann said nothing.
Really there was not much time for
words. There were many stitches to be taken in
the threadbare wardrobe, concerning which her father
was as ignorant and indifferent as a child, before
she packed it all in the old carpet sack and nerved
herself to see him start.
He went away willingly, almost cheerfully.
Just at the last, when he came to bid the younger
children good-by, the father seemed for an instant
to rise above the reformer. No doubt their childish
unconcern moved him.
“We must think of the families
that have been rudely torn apart. Surely it ought
to sustain us, it ought to sustain us,”
he said to Laban as they drove away.
Two days later they carried him home,
crippled for life by the overturning of the stage
near Cedar Creek.
He made no complaint of the drunken
driver whose carelessness had caused the accident
and frustrated his plans; but once, when his eldest
daughter was alone with him, he looked into her face
and said, absently, rather than to her,
“Patience, patience; I doubt
not the Lord’s hand is in it.”
And Marg’et Ann felt that his purpose was not
quenched.
In the spring Lloyd Archer came home.
Marg’et Ann had heard of his coming, and tried
to think of him with all the intervening years of care
and trial added; but when she saw him walking up the
path between the flowering almonds and snowball bushes,
all the intervening years faded away, and left only
the past that he had shared, and the present.
She met him there at her father’s
bedside and shook hands with him and said, “How
do you do, Lloyd? Have you kept your health?”
as quietly as she would have greeted any neighbor.
After he had spoken to her father and the children
she sat before him with her knitting, a very gentle,
self-contained Desdemona, and listened while he told
the minister stories of California, mentioning the
trees and fruits of the Bible with a freedom and familiarity
that savored just enough of heresy to make him seem
entirely unchanged.
When Nancy Helen came into the room
he glanced from her to Marg’et Ann; the two
sisters had the same tints in hair and cheek, but the
straight, placid lines of the elder broke into waves
and dimples in the younger. Nancy Helen shook
hands in a limp, half-grown way, blushingly conscious
that her sleeves were rolled up, and that her elders
were maturely indifferent to her sufferings; and Lloyd
jokingly refused to tell her his name, insisting that
she had kissed him good-by and promised to be his
little sweetheart when he came back.
Marg’et Ann was knitting a great
blue and white sock for Laban, and after she had turned
the mammoth heel she smoothed it out on her lap, painstakingly,
conscious all the time of a tumultuous, unreasonable
joy in Lloyd’s presence, in the sound of his
voice, in his glance, which assured her so unmistakably
that she had a right to rejoice in his coming.
She did not see her lover alone for
several days. When she did, he caught her hands
and said, “Well, Marg’et Ann?” taking
up the unsettled question of their lives where they
had left it. And Marg’et Ann stood still,
with her hands in his, looking down at the snow of
the fallen locust-bloom at her feet, and said,
“When father is well enough
to begin preaching again, then I think perhaps Lloyd”
But Lloyd did not wait to hear what
she thought, nor trouble himself greatly about the
“perhaps.”
The minister’s injuries were
slow to mend. They were all coming to understand
that his lameness would be permanent, and there was
on the part of the older children a tense, pained
curiosity concerning their father’s feeling
on the subject, which no word of his had thus far
served to relieve. There was a grave shyness among
them concerning their deepest feelings, which was,
perhaps, a sense of the inadequacy of expression rather
than the austerity it seemed. Marg’et Ann
would have liked to show her sympathy for her father,
and no doubt it would have lightened the burdens of
both; but any betrayal of filial tenderness beyond
the dutiful care she gave him would have startled the
minister, and embarrassed them both. Life was
a serious thing to them only by reason of its relation
to eternity; a constant underrating of this world
had made them doubtful of its dignity. Marg’et
Ann felt it rather light-minded that she should have
a lump in her throat whenever she thought of her father
on crutches for the rest of his life. She wondered
how Laban felt about it, but it was not likely that
she would ever know. Laban had made the crutches
himself, a rude, temporary pair at first, but he was
at work on others now that were more carefully made
and more durable; and she knew from this and the remarks
of her father when he tried them that they both understood.
It was not worth while to talk about it of course,
and yet the household had a dull ache in it that a
little talking might have relieved.
Marg’et Ann had begged Lloyd
not to speak to her father until the latter was “up
and about.” It seemed to her unkind to talk
of leaving him when he was helpless, and Lloyd was
very patient now, and very tractable, working busily
to get the old place in readiness for his bride.
Mr. Morrison sat at his table, reading,
or writing hurriedly, or gazing absently out into
the June sunshine. He was sitting thus one afternoon,
tapping the arms of his chair nervously with his thin
fingers, when Marg’et Ann brought her work and
sat in her mother’s chair near him. It
was not very dainty work, winding a mass of dyed carpet
rags into a huge, madder-colored ball, but there were
delicate points in its execution which a restless
civilization has hurried into oblivion along with
the other lost arts, and Marg’et Ann surveyed
her ball critically now and then, to be sure that
it was not developing any slovenly one-sidedness under
her deft hands. The minister’s crutches
leaned against the arm of his painted wooden chair
with an air of mute but patient helpfulness.
Marg’et Ann had cushioned them with patchwork,
but he had walked about so much that she already noted
the worn places beginning to show under the arms of
his faded dressing-gown. He leaned forward a
little and glanced toward her, his hand on them now,
and she put down her work and went to his side.
He raised himself by the arms of his chair, sighing,
and took the crutches from her patient hand.
“I am not of much account, child, not
of much account,” he said wearily.
Marg’et Ann colored with pain.
She felt as a branch might feel when the trunk of
the tree snaps.
“I’m sure you’re
getting on very well, father; the doctor says you’ll
be able to begin preaching again by fall.”
The minister made his way slowly across
the room and stood a moment in the open door; then
he retraced his halting steps with their thumping
wooden accompaniment and seated himself slowly and
painfully again. One of the crutches slid along
the arm of the chair and fell to the floor. Marg’et
Ann went to pick it up. His head was still bowed
and his face had not relaxed from the pain of moving.
Standing a moment at his side and looking down at
him, she noticed how thin and gray his hair had become.
She turned away her face, looking out of the window
and battling with the cruelty of it all. The
minister felt the tenderness of her silent presence
there, and glanced up.
“I shall not preach any more,
Marg’et Ann, at least not here, not in this
way. If I might do something for those down-trodden
people, but that is perhaps not best.
The Lord knows. But I shall leave the ministry
for a time, until I see my way more clearly.”
His daughter crossed the room, stooping
to straighten the braided rug at his feet as she went,
and took up her work again. Certainly the crimson
ball was a trifle one-sided, or was it the unevenness
of her tear-filled vision? She unwound it a little
to remedy the defect as her father went on.
“Things do not present themselves
to my mind as they once did. I have not decided
just what course to pursue, but it would certainly
not be honorable for me to occupy the pulpit in my
present frame of mind. You’ve been a very
faithful daughter, Marg’et Ann,” he broke
off, “a good daughter.”
He turned and looked at her sitting
there winding the great ball with her trembling fingers;
her failure to speak did not suggest any coldness
to either of them; response would have startled him.
“I have thought much about it,”
he went on. “I have had time to think under
this affliction. Nancy Helen is old enough to
be trusted now, and when Laban marries he will perhaps
be willing to rent the land. No doubt you could
get both the summer and winter schools in the district;
that would be a great help. The congregation
has not been able to pay much, but it would be a loss”
He faltered for the first time; there
was a shame in mentioning money in connection with
his office.
“I have suffered a good deal
of distress of mind, child, but doubtless it is salutary it
is salutary.”
He reached for his crutches again
restlessly, and then drew back, remembering the pain
of rising.
Marg’et Ann had finished the
ball of carpet rags and laid it carefully in the box
with the others. She had taken great pains with
the coloring, thinking of the best room in her new
home, and Lloyd had a man’s liking for red.
And now the old question had come
back; it was older than she knew. Doubtless it
was right that men should always have opinions and
aspirations and principles, and women only ties and
duties and heartaches. It seemed cruel, though,
just now. She choked back the throbbing pain
in her throat that threatened to make itself seen and
heard.
“Of course I must do right, Marg’et Ann.”
Her father’s voice seemed almost pleading.
Of course he must do right. Marg’et
Ann had not dreamed of anything else. Only it
was a little hard just now.
She glanced at him, leaning forward
in his chair with the crutches beside him. He
looked feeble about the temples, and his patched dressing-gown
hung loose in wrinkles. She crossed the room and
stood beside him. Of course she would stay with
him. She did not ask herself why. She did
not reason that it was because motherhood underlies
wifehood and makes it sweet and sufficing; makes every
good woman a mother to every dependent creature, be
it strong or weak. I doubt if she reasoned at
all. She only said,
“Of course you will do right,
father, and I will see about the school; I think I
can get it. You must not worry; we shall get on
very well.”
Out in the June sunshine Lloyd was
coming up the walk with Nancy Helen. She had
been gathering wild strawberries in the meadow across
the lane, and they had met at the gate. Her sunbonnet
was pushed back from her crinkly hair, and her cheeks
were stained redder than her finger-tips by Lloyd’s
teasing.
Marg’et Ann looked at them and sighed.
After her brother’s return from
presbytery Miss Nancy McClanahan borrowed her sister-in-law’s
horse and rode over to visit the Morrisons. It
was not often that Miss Nancy made a trip of this kind
alone, and Marg’et Ann ran down the walk to
meet her, rolling down her sleeves and smoothing her
hair.
Miss Nancy took the girl’s soft
cheeks in her hands and drew them into the shadow
of her cavernous sunbonnet for a withered kiss.
“I want to see your father,
Margie,” she whispered, and the gentle constraint
of spiritual things came into Marg’et Ann’s
voice as she answered,
“He’s in the best room
alone; I moved him in there this morning to be out
of the sweeping. You can go right in.”
She lingered a little, hoping her
old friend’s concern of soul might not have
obscured her interest in the salt-rising bread, which
had been behaving untowardly of late; but Miss Nancy
turned her steps in the direction of the best room,
and Marg’et Ann opened the door for her, saying,
“It’s Miss McClanahan, father.”
The minister looked up, wrinkling
his forehead in the effort to disentangle himself
from his thoughts. The old maid crossed the room
toward him with her quick, hitching step.
“Don’t try to get up,
Joseph,” she said, as he laid his hand on his
crutches; “I’ll find myself a chair.”
She sat down before him, crossing
her hands in her lap. The little worn band of
gold was not on her finger, but there was a smooth
white mark where it had been.
“Samuel got home from presbytery
yesterday; he told me what was before them. I
thought I’d like to have a little talk with you.”
Her voice trembled as she stopped.
A faint color showed itself through the silvery stubble
on the minister’s cheeks; he patted the arms
of his chair nervously.
“I’m hardly prepared to
discuss my opinions. They are vague, very vague,
at best. I should be sorry to unsettle the faith”
“I don’t care at all about
your opinions,” Miss Nancy interrupted, pushing
his words away with both hands; “I only wanted
to speak to you about Marg’et Ann.”
“Marg’et Ann!” The
minister’s relief breathed itself out in gentle
surprise.
“Yes, Marg’et Ann.
I think it’s time somebody was thinking of her,
Joseph.” Miss Nancy leaned forward, her
face the color of a withered rose. “She’s
doing over again what I did. Perhaps it was best
for you. I believe it was, and I don’t
want you to say a word, you mustn’t, but
I can speak, and I’m not going to let Marg’et
Ann live my life if I can help it.”
“I don’t understand you, Nancy.”
The minister laid his hands on his
crutches and refused to be motioned back into his
chair. He stood before her, looking down anxiously
into her thin, eager face.
“I know you don’t.
Esther never understood, either. You didn’t
know that Marg’et Ann gave up Lloyd Archer because
he had doubts, but I knew it. I wanted to speak
then, but I couldn’t to her Esther, and
now you don’t know that she’s going to
give him up again because you have doubts, Joseph.
That’s the way with women. They have no
principles, only to do the hardest thing. But
I know what it means to work and worry and pinch and
have nothing in the end, not even troubles of your
own, they would be some comfort. And
I’m going to save Marg’et Ann from it.
I’m going to come here and take her place.
I’ve got a little something of my own, you know;
I always meant it for her.”
She stopped, looking at him expectantly.
The minister turned away, rubbing his hands up and
down his polished crutches. There was a soft,
troubled light in his eyes.
“Why, Nancy!”
His companion got up and moved a step
backward. Her cheeks flushed a pale, faded red.
“Oh, no,” she said, with
a quick, impatient movement of her head, “not
that, Joseph; that died years ago, you are
the same to me as other men, excepting that you are
Marg’et Ann’s father. It’s for
her. It’s the only way I can live
my life over again, by letting her live hers.
I don’t know that it will be any better; but
she will know, she will have a certainty in place
of a doubt. I don’t know that my life would
have been any better; I know yours would not, and
anyway it’s all over now. I know I can
get on with the children, and I don’t think people
will talk. I hope you’re not going to object,
Joseph. We’ve always been very good friends.”
He shook his head slowly.
“I don’t see how I can,
Nancy. It’s very good of you. Perhaps,”
he added, looking at her with a wistful desire for
contradiction, “perhaps I’ve
been a little selfish about Marg’et Ann.”
“I don’t think you meant
to be, Joseph,” said the old maid soothingly;
“when anybody’s so good as Marg’et
Ann, she doesn’t call for much grace in the
people about her. I think it’s a duty we
owe to other people to have some faults.”
Outside the door Marg’et Ann
still lingered, with her anxiety about the bread on
her lips and the shadow of much serving in her soft
eyes. Miss Nancy stopped and drew her favorite
into the shelter of her gaunt arms.
“I’m coming over next
week to help you get ready for the wedding, Margie,”
she said, “and I’m going to stay when you’re
gone and look after things. They don’t
need me at Samuel’s now, and I’ll be more
comfortable here. I’ve got enough to pay
a little for my board the rest of my life, and I don’t
mean to work very hard, but I can show Nancy Helen
and keep the run of things. There, don’t
cry. We’ll go and look at the sponge now.
I guess you’d better ride over to Yankee Neck
this afternoon, and tell them you don’t want
the winter school There, there!”