Tims’s programme happened to
be full on the following day, so that it was half-past
twelve before she knocked at Milly’s door and
was admitted. Milly stood in the middle of the
room in an attitude of energy, with her small wardrobe
lying about her on the floor in ignominious heaps.
“Tell me, Tims,” said
Milly, after the first inquiries, “are those
positively all the clothes I possess?”
“Of course they are, M. What do you want with
more?”
“Are they in the fashion?” asked Milly,
anxiously.
Tims stared.
“Fashion! Good Lord, M.!
What does it matter whether you look the same as every
fool in the street or not?”
“Oh, Tims!” cried Milly,
laughing that pretty rippling laugh so strange in
Tims’s ears. “I was quite right when
I made a mistake, you’re just like a man.
All the better. But you can’t expect me
not to care a bit about my clothes like you, you really
can’t.”
Tims drew herself up.
“You’re wrong, my girl,
I’m a deal fonder of frocks than you are.
I always think,” she added, looking before her
dreamily, “that I was meant to be a very good
dresser, only I was brought up too economical.”
Generally speaking, when Tims had uttered one of her
deepest and truest feelings, she would glance around,
suddenly alert and suspicious to surprise the twinkle
in her auditor’s eye. But in the clear blue
of Milly Flaxman’s quiet eyes, she had ceased
to look for that tormenting twinkle, that spark which
seemed destined to dance about her from the cradle
to the grave.
Presently she found herself hanging
up Milly’s clothes while Milly paid no attention;
for she alternately stood before the glass in the dark
corner, and kneeled on the hearth-rug, curling-tongs
in hand. And the hair, the silky soft amber hair,
which could be twisted into a tiny ball or fluffed
into a golden fleece at will, was being tossed up and
pulled down, combed here and brushed there, altogether
handled with a zeal and patience to which it had been
a stranger since the days when it had been the pride
of the nursery. Tims the untidy, as one in a dream,
went on tidying the room she was accustomed to see
so immaculate.
“There!” cried Milly,
turning, “that’s how I wear it, isn’t
it?”
“Good Lord, no!” exclaimed
Tims, contemplating the transformed Milly. “It
suits you, M., in a way, but it looks queer too.
The others will all be hooting if you go down-stairs
like that.”
Milly plumped into a chair irritably.
“How ever am I to know how I
did my hair if I can’t remember? Please
do it for me.”
Tims smiled sardonically.
“I’ll lend you my hair,”
she said; “the second best. But do
your hair! You really are as mad as a hatter.”
Milly shrugged her shoulders.
“You can’t? Then I keep it like this,”
she said.
An argument ensued. Tims left
the room to try and find a photograph of Milly as
she had been.
When she returned she found her friend
standing in absorbed contemplation of a book in her
hand.
“This is Greek, isn’t
it?” she asked, holding it up. Her face
wore a little frown as of strained attention.
“Right you are,” shrieked
Tims in accents of relief. “Greek it is.
Can you read it?”
“Not yet,” replied Milly,
flushing with excitement, “but I shall soon,
I know I shall. Last night I couldn’t make
head or tail of the books. Now I understand right
enough what they are, and I know some are in Greek
and some in English. I can’t read either
yet, but it’s all coming back gradually, like
the daylight coming in at the window this morning.”
“Hooray! Hooray!”
shouted Tims. “You’ll be reading as
hard as ever in a week if I don’t look after
you. But see here, my girl, you’ve given
me a nasty jar, and I’m not going to let you
break your heart or crack your brain in a wild-goose
chase. You can’t get that First, you know;
you’re on a fairly good Second Class level,
and you’d better make up your mind to stay there.”
“A fairly good Second Class
level!” repeated Milly, still turning the leaves
of the book. “That doesn’t sound very
exhilarating and I rather think I shall
do as I like about staying there.”
Tims began to heat.
“Well, that’s what Stewart
said about you. I don’t believe I told you
half plain enough what Stewart did say, for fear of
hurting your feelings. He said you are a good
scholar, but barring that, you weren’t at all
clever.”
Milly looked up from her book; but
she was not tearful. There was a curl in her
lip and the light of battle in her eye.
“Stewart said that, did he?
Now if I were a gentleman I should say ’damn
his impudence’ and ‘who the
devil is Stewart’; but then I’m not.
You can say it.”
Tims stared. “Oh, come,
I say!” she exclaimed. “I don’t
swear, I only quote. But my goodness, when you
remember who Stewart is, you’ll be well,
pained to think of the language you’re using
about him.”
“Why?” asked Milly, her
head riding disdainfully on her slender neck.
“Because he’s your tutor
and lecturer and a regular tiptop man at
Greek and all that and you you
respect him most awfully.”
“Do I?” cried Milly “did
perhaps in my salad days. I’ve no respect
whatever for professors now, my good Tims. I know
what they’re like. Here’s Stewart
for you.”
She took up a pen and a scrap of paper
and dashed off a clever ludicrous sketch of a man
with long hair, an immense brow, and spectacles.
“Nonsense!” said Tims; “that’s
not a bit like him.”
She held the paper in her hand and
looked fixedly at it. Milly had been wont seriously
to grieve over her hopeless lack of artistic talent
and she had never attempted to caricature. Tims
was thinking of a young fellow of a college who had
lately died of brain disease. In the earlier
stages of his insanity, it had been remarked that he
had an originality which had not been his when in
a normal state. What if her friend were developing
the same terrible disease? If it were so, it was
no use fussing, since there was no remedy. Still,
she felt a desperate need to take some sort of precaution.
“If I were you, M.,” she
said, “I’d go to bed and keep very quiet
for a day or two. You’re so so
odd, and excited, they’d notice it if you went
down-stairs.”
“Would they?” asked Milly,
suddenly sobered. “Would they say I was
mad?” An expression of fear came into her face,
and its strangely luminous eyes travelled around the
room with a look as of some trapped creature seeking
escape.
There was an awkward pause.
“I’m not mad,” affirmed
Milly, swallowing with a dry throat. “I’m
perfectly sensible, but any one would be odd and excited
too who was was as I am with
a number of words and ideas floating in my mind without
my having the least idea where they spring from.
Please, Tims dear, tell me how I am to behave.
I should so hate to be thought queer, wanting in any
way.”
Tims considered.
“For one thing, you mustn’t
talk such a lot. You never have been one for
chattering; and lately, of course, with your overwork,
you’ve been particularly quiet. Don’t
talk, M., that’s my advice.”
“Very well,” replied Milly, gloomily.
Tims hesitated and went on:
“But I don’t see how you’re
going to hide up this business about your memory.
I wish you’d let me tell old B., anyhow.”
“I won’t have any one
told,” cried Milly. “Not a creature.
If only you’ll help me, dear, dear Tims you
will help me, won’t you? I shall
soon be all right, and no one except you will ever
know. No one will be able to shrug their shoulders
and say, whatever I do, ’Of course she’s
crazy.’ I should hate it so! I know
I can get on if I try. I’m much cleverer
than you and that silly old Stewart think. Promise
me, promise me, darling Tims, you won’t betray
me!”
Tims was not weak-minded, but she
was very tender-hearted and exceedingly susceptible
to personal charms. She ought not, she knew she
ought not, to have yielded, but she did. She promised.
Yet in her friend’s own interest, she contended
that Milly must confess to a certain failure of memory
from over-fatigue, if only as a pretext for dropping
her work for a while. It was agreed that Milly
should remain in bed for several days, and she did
so; less bored than might have been expected, because
she had the constant excitement of this or that bit
of knowledge filtering back into her mind. But
this knowledge was purely intellectual. With
Tims’s help she had recovered her reading powers,
and although she felt at first only a vague recognition
of something familiar in the sense of what she read,
it was evident that she was fast regaining the use
of the treasures stored in her brain by years of dogged
and methodical work. But the facts and personalities
which had made her own life seemed to have vanished,
leaving “not a wrack behind.”
Tims, having primed her well beforehand,
brought in the more important girls to see her, and
by dint of a cautious reserve she passed very well
with them, as with Miss Burt and Miss Walker.
Tims seemed to feel much more nervous than Milly herself
did when she joined the other students as usual.
There were moments when Tims gasped
with the certainty that the revelation of her friend’s
blank ignorance of the place and people was about
to be made. Then Mildred for so, despising
the soft diminutive, she now desired to be called by
some extraordinary exertion of tact and ingenuity,
would evade the inevitable and appear on the other
side of it, a little elated, but otherwise serene.
It was generally marked that Miss Flaxman was a different
creature since she had given up worrying about her
Schools, and that no one would have believed how much
prettier she could make herself by doing her hair
a different way.
Miss Burt, however, was somewhat puzzled
and uneasy. Although Milly was looking unusually
well, it was evident that all was not quite right with
her, for she complained of a failure of memory, a mental
fatigue which made it impossible for her to go to
lectures, and she seemed to have lost all interest
in the Schools, which had so lately been for her the
“be-all” as well as the “end-all
here.” Miss Burt knew Milly’s only
near relation in England, Lady Thomson, intimately;
and for that reason hesitated to write to her.
She knew that Beatrice Thomson had no patience with
the talk often silly enough about
girls overworking their brains. She herself had
never been laid up in her life, except when her leg
was broken, and her views on the subject of ill-health
were marked. She regarded the catching of scarlet-fever
or influenza as an act of cowardice, consumption or
any organic disease as scarcely, if at all, less disgraceful
than drunkenness or fraud, while the countless little
ailments to which feminine flesh seems more particularly
heir she condemned as the most deplorable of female
failings, except the love of dress.
Eventually Miss Burt did write to
Lady Thomson, cautiously. Lady Thomson replied
that she was coming up to town on Thursday, and could
so arrange her journey as to have an hour and a half
in Oxford. She would be at Ascham at three-thirty.
Mildred rushed to Tims with the agitating news and
both were greatly upset by it. However, Aunt Beatrice
had got to be faced sometime or other and Mildred’s
spirit rose to the encounter.
She had by this time provided herself
with another dress, encouraged to do so by the money
in hand left by the frugal Milly the First. She
had got a plain tailor-made coat and skirt, in a becoming
shade of brown; and with the unbecoming hard collar
de rigueur in those days, she wore a turquoise
blue tie, which seemed to reflect the color of her
eyes. And in spite of Tims’s dissuasions,
she put on the new dress on Thursday, and declined
to screw her hair up in the old way, as advised.
Accordingly on Thursday at twenty-five
minutes to four, Mildred appeared, in answer to a
summons, in the quiet-colored, pleasant drawing-room
at Ascham, with its French windows giving on to the
lawn, where some of the girls were playing hockey,
not without cries. Her first view of Aunt Beatrice
was a pleasant surprise. A tall, upstanding figure,
draped in a long, soft cloak trimmed with fur, a handsome
face with marked features, marked eyebrows, a fine
complexion and bright brown eyes under a wide-brimmed
felt hat.
Having exchanged the customary peck,
she waited in silence till Mildred had seated herself.
Then surveying her niece with satisfaction:
“Come, Milly,” said she,
in a full, pleasant voice; “I don’t see
much signs of the nervous invalid about you.
Really, Polly,” turning to Miss Burt, “she
has not looked so well for a long time.”
“She’s been much better
since she dropped her work,” replied Miss Burt.
“Taking plenty of fresh air
and exercise, I suppose” Aunt Beatrice
smiled kindly on her niece “I’m
afraid I’ve kept you from your hockey this afternoon,
Milly.”
“Oh no, Aunt Beatrice, certainly
not,” replied Milly, with the extreme courtesy
of nervousness. “I never play hockey now.”
Lady Thomson turned to the Head with
a shade of triumph in her satisfaction.
“There, Polly! What did
I tell you? I was sure there was something else
at the bottom of it. Steady work, methodically
done, never hurt anybody. But of course if she’s
given up exercise, her liver or something was bound
to get out of order.”
“No, really, I take lots of
exercise,” interposed Milly; “only I don’t
care for hockey, it’s such a horrid, rough, dirty
game; don’t you think so? And Miss Walker
got a front tooth broken last winter.”
Lady Thomson looked at her in a surprised way.
“Well, if you’ve not been
playing hockey, what exercise have you been taking?”
“Walks,” replied Milly,
feebly, feeling herself on the wrong track; “I
go walks with Ti with Flora Timson when
she has time.”
Aunt Beatrice looked at the matter judicially.
“Of course, games are best for
the physique. Look at men. Still, walking
will do, if one takes proper walks. I hope Flora
Timson takes you good long walks.”
“Indeed she does!” cried
Milly. “Immense! She walks a dreadful
pace, and we get over stiles and things.”
“Immense is a little vague.
How far do you go on an average?”
Mildred’s notions of distance
were vague. “Quite two miles, I’m
sure,” she responded, cheerfully.
Aunt Beatrice made no comment.
She looked steadily and scrutinizingly at her niece,
and in a kind but deepened voice told her to go up
to her room, whither she, Lady Thomson, would follow
in a few minutes, just to see how the Mantegnas looked
now they were framed.
As soon as the door had closed behind
Mildred, she turned to Miss Burt. “You’re
right, in a way, Polly, after all. There is something
odd about Milly, but I think it’s affectation.
Did you hear her answer? Two miles! When
to my knowledge she can easily walk ten.”
Meantime, Mildred mounted slowly to
her room. She had tidied it under Tims’s
instructions and had nothing to do but to sit down
and think until Lady Thomson’s masculine step
was heard outside her door.
Aunt Beatrice came in and laid aside
her hat and cloak, showing a dress of rough gray tweed,
and short so far a tribute to the practical but
otherwise made on some awkward artistic or hygienic
principle. Her glossy brown hair was brushed
back and twisted tight, as Milly’s used to be,
but with different effect, because of its heaviness
and length.
“Why have you crammed up one
of your windows with a dressing-glass?” asked
Aunt Beatrice, putting a picture straight.
“Because I can’t see myself
in that dark corner,” returned Mildred, demurely
meek, but waiting her opportunity.
“See yourself! My dear
child, you hardly ever want to see yourself, if you
are habitually neat and dressed sensibly. I see
you’ve adopted the mannish style. That’s
a phase of vanity. You’ll come back to the
beautiful and natural before long.”
Mildred leaned back in her chair and
clasped her hands behind her head.
“I don’t think so, Aunt
Beatrice. I’ve settled the dress question
once and for all. I’ve found a clean, tidy,
convenient style of dress and I can’t waste
time thinking about altering it again.”
“You don’t seem to mind
wasting it on doing your hair,” returned Aunt
Beatrice, smiling, but not grimly, for she enjoyed
logical fencing, even to her opponent’s fair
hits.
“If I had beautiful hair like
yours, I shouldn’t need to,” replied Mildred.
“But you know how endy and untidy mine always
was.”
Aunt Beatrice, embarrassed by the
compliment, looked at her watch. “It seems
as if we women can’t escape our fate,”
she said. “Here we are gabbling about dress
when we’ve plenty of important things to talk
over. Miss Burt wrote to me that you were overworked,
run down, nerves out of order, and all the usual nonsense.
I’m thankful to find you looking remarkably
well. I should like to know what this humbug about
not being able to work means.”
“It means that well,
I simply can’t,” returned Mildred, earnestly
this time. “I can’t remember things.”
“You must be able to remember;
unless your brain’s diseased, which is most
improbable. But I ought to take you to a brain
specialist, I suppose.”
Milly changed color. “Please,
oh please, Aunt Beatrice, don’t do that!”
Lady Thomson, in fact, hardly meant
it; for her niece’s appearance was unmistakably
healthy. However, the threat told.
“I shall if you don’t
improve. I can’t understand you. Either
you’re hysterical or you’ve got one of
those abominable fits of frivolity which come on women
like drink on men, and destroy their careers.
I thought we had both set our hearts on your getting
another First.”
“But, Aunt Beatrice, they say
I can’t. They say I’m not clever enough.”
“Oh, that’s what they
say, is it?” Lady Thomson smiled in calm but
deep contempt. “How do they explain the
idiots who have got Firsts? Archibald Toovey,
for instance?” Her eyes met her niece’s,
and both smiled.
“Ah, yes! Mr. Toovey,”
returned Milly, who had met Archibald Toovey at the
Fletchers’, and converted his patronizing courtship
into imbecile raptures.
“But that quite explains your
losing an interest in your work. Just for once,
I should like to take you away before the end of term.
We would go straight to Rome next Monday. We
shall meet the Breretons there, and go fully over
the new excavations and discoveries, besides the old
things, which will be new, of course, to you.
Then we will go on to Naples, do the galleries and
Pompeii, and come back by Florence and Paris before
Christmas. By that time you will be ready to settle
down to your work steadily again and forget all this
nonsense.”
Mildred’s face had lighted up
momentarily at the word “Rome.” Then
she sucked her under lip and looked at the fire.
When Lady Thomson’s programme was ended, she
made a pause before she said, slowly:
“Thank you so much, dear Aunt
Beatrice. I should love to go, but I
don’t think no, I don’t think
I’d better. You see, there’s the
expense.”
“Of course I don’t expect
you to pay for yourself. I take you.”
“How very kind and sweet of
you! But well, do you know, you’ve
encouraged me so about that. First, I feel now
as though I could sit down and get it straight away.
I will get it, Aunt Beatrice, if only to make that
old Professor look foolish.”
Lady Thomson, though disappointed
in a way, felt that Milly Flaxman was doing credit
to her principles, showing a spirit worthy of her family.
She did not urge the Roman plan; but content with a
victory over “nerves and the usual nonsense,”
withdrew triumphant to the railway station.
Tims came in when she was gone and
heard about the Roman offer.
“You refused, when Aunt Beatrice
was going to plank down the dollars? M., you
are a fool!”
“No, Tims,” Mildred answered,
deliberately; “you see, I don’t feel sure
yet whether I can manage Aunt Beatrice.”