Between noon and one o’clock
on a bright June morning there is no place in the
world quite so full of sunshine and summer as the quadrangle
of an Oxford College. Not Age but Youth of centuries
smiles from gray walls and aery pinnacles upon the
joyous children of To-day. Youth, in a bright-haired,
black-winged-butterfly swarm, streams out of every
dark doorway, from the austere shade of study, to
disport itself, two by two, or in larger eddying groups,
upon the worn gravel, even venturously flits across
the sacred green of the turf. There is an effervescence
of life in the clear air, and the sun-steeped walls
of stone are resonant with the cheerful noise of young
voices. Here and there men already in flannels
pass towards the gate; Dons draped in the black folds
of the stately gown, stand chatting with their books
under their arms; and since the season of festivity
has begun, scouts hurry cautiously to and fro from
buttery and kitchen, bearing brimming silver cups crowned
with blue borage and floating straws, or trays of
decorated viands. The scouts are grave and careworn,
but from every one else a kind of physical joy and
contentment seems to breathe as perfume breathes from
blossoms and even leaves, in the good season of the
year.
Ian Stewart did not quite resist this
atmosphere of physical contentment. He stood
in the sunshine exchanging a few words with passing
pupils; yet at the back of his mind there was a deep
distress. He had been brought up in the moral
refinement, the honorable strictness of principle
with regard to moral law, common to his academic class,
and, besides, he had an innate delicacy and sensibility
of feeling. If his intelligence perceived that
there are qualities, individualities which claim exemption
from ordinary rules, he had no desire to claim any
such exemption for himself. Yet he found himself
occupying the position of a man torn on the rack between
a jealous wife for whom he has affection and esteem,
and a mistress who compels his love. Only here
was not alone a struggle but a mystery, and the knot
admitted of no severance.
He looked around upon his pupils,
upon the distant figures of his fellow Dons, robed
in the same garb, seemingly living the same life as
himself. Where was fact, where was reality?
In yonder phantasmagoric procession of Oxford life,
forever repeating itself, or in this strange tragi-comedy
of souls, one in two and two in one, passing behind
the thick walls of that old house in the street nearby?
There he stood among the rest, part and parcel apparently
of an existence as ordinary, as peaceful, as monotonous
as the Victorian era could produce. Yet if he
were to tell any one within sight the plain truth concerning
his life, it would be regarded as a fairy tale, the
fantastic invention of an overwrought brain.
There is something in college life
which fosters a reticence that is almost secretiveness;
and this becomes a code, a religion; yet Stewart found
himself seized with an intense longing to confide in
someone. And at that moment, from under the wide
archway leading into the quadrangle, appeared the
Master of Durham. The Master was in cap and gown,
and carried some large papers under his arm; he walked
slowly, as he had taken to walking of late, his odd,
trotting gait transformed almost to a hobble.
Meditative, he looked straight before him with unseeing
eyes. No artist was ever able to seize the inner
and the outer verity of that round, pink baby face,
filled with the power of a weighty personality and
a penetrating mind. Stewart marked him in that
minute, sagacity and benevolence, as it were, silently
radiating from him; and the younger man in his need
turned to the wise Master, the paternal friend whose
counsels had done so much to set his young feet in
the way of success.
When Stewart found himself in the
Master’s study, the study so familiar to his
youth, with its windows looking out on the garden quadrangle,
and saw the great little man himself seated before
him at the writing-table, he marvelled at the temerity
that had brought him there to speak on such a theme.
But the cup was poured and had to be drunk. The
Master left him to begin. He sat with a plump
hand on each plump knee, and regarded his old pupil
with silent benevolence.
“I’ve come to see you,
Master,” said Stewart, “because I feel
very bewildered, very helpless, in a matter which
touches my wife even more than myself. You were
so kind about my marriage, and you have always been
good to her as well as to me.”
“Miss Flaxman was a nice young
lady,” squeaked the Master. “I knew
you married wisely.”
“Something happened shortly
before we were engaged which she we didn’t
quite grasp its importance, I mean,”
Stewart began. He then spoke of those periodical
lapses of memory in his wife which he had come to see
involved real and extraordinary variations in her character a
change, in fact, of personality. He mentioned
their futile visits to Norton-Smith, the brain and
nerve specialist. The Master heard him without
either moving or interrupting. When he had done
there was a silence. At length the Master said:
“I suspect we don’t understand women.”
“Perhaps not. But, Master,
haven’t you yourself noticed a great difference
in my wife at various times?”
“Not more than I feel in myself not
of another character, that is. We live among
men; we live among men who, generally speaking, know
nothing about women. That’s why women appear
to us strange and unnatural. Your wife’s
quite normal, really.”
“But the memory alone, surely ”
“That’s made you nervous;
but I’ve known cases not far different.
You remember meeting Sir Henry Milwood here?
When I knew him he was a young clergyman. He
had an illness; forgot all about his clerical life,
and went sheep-farming in Australia, where he made
his fortune.”
“But his personality?”
asked Stewart, with anxiety. “Was that changed?”
“Certainly. A colonial
sheep-farmer is a different person from a young Don
just in orders.”
“I don’t mean that, Master.
I mean did he rise from his bed with ideas, with feelings
quite opposite to those which had possessed him when
he lay down upon it? Did he ever have a return
of the clerical phase, during which he forgot how
he became a sheep-farmer and wished to take up his
old work again?”
“No no.”
There was a pause. The Master
played with his gold spectacles and sucked his under
lip. Then:
“Take a good holiday, Stewart,” he said.
Stewart’s clear-cut face hardened
and flushed momentarily. “These are not
fancies of my own, Master. Cases occur in which
two, sometimes more than two, entirely different personalities
alternate in the same individual. The spontaneous
cases are rare, of course, but hypnotism seems to
develop them pretty freely. The facts are there,
but English scientists prefer to say nothing about
them.”
The Master rose and trotted restlessly about.
“They’re quite right,”
he returned, at length. “Such ideas can
lead to nothing but mischief.”
“Surely that is the orthodox
theologian’s usual objection to scientific fact.”
The Master lifted his head and looked
at his rebel disciple. For although he was an
officiating clergyman, he and the orthodox theologians
were at daggers drawn.
“Views, statements of this kind
are not knowledge,” he said, after a while,
and continued moving uneasily about without looking
at Stewart.
Stewart did not reply; it seemed useless
to go on talking. He recognized that the Master’s
attitude was what his own had been before the iron
of fact had entered into his flesh and spirit.
Yet somehow he had hoped that his Master’s large
and keen perception of human things, his judicial
mind, would have lifted him above the prejudices of
Reason. He sat there cheerless, his college cap
between his knees; and was seeking the moment to say
good-bye when the Master suddenly sat down beside him.
To any one looking in at the window, the two seated
side by side on the hard sofa would have seemed an
oddly assorted pair. Stewart’s length of
frame, the raven black of his hair and beard, the marble
pallor of his delicate features, made the little Master
look smaller, pinker, plumper than usual; but his
face, radiating wisdom and affection, was more than
beautiful in the eyes of his old disciple.
“I took a great interest in
your marriage, Stewart,” he said. “I
always think of you and your wife as two very dear
young friends. You must let me speak to you now
as a father might and probably wouldn’t.”
Stewart assented with affectionate reverence.
“You are young, but your wife
is much younger. A man marries a girl many years
younger than himself and has not the same feeling of
responsibility towards her as he would have towards
a young man of the same age. He seldom considers
her youth. Yet his responsibility is much greater
towards her than towards a pupil of the same age; she
needs more help, she will accept more in forming her
mind and character. Now you have married a young
lady who is very intelligent, very pleasing; but she
has a delicate nervous system, and it has been overstrained.
She lets this peculiar weakness of her memory get
on her nerves. You have nerves yourself, you
have imagination, and you let your mind give way to
hers. That’s not wise; it’s not right.
Let her feel that these moods do not affect you; be
sure that they do not. What matters mainly is
that your mutual love should remain unchanged.
When your wife finds that her happiness, her real
happiness, is quite untouched by these changes of
mood, she will leave off attributing an exaggerated
importance to them. So will you, Stewart.
You will see them in their right proportion; you will
see the great evil and danger of giving way to imagination,
of accepting perverse psychological hypotheses as
guides in life. Reason and Religion are the only
true guides.”
The Master did not utter these sayings
continuously. There were pauses which Stewart
might have filled, but he did not offer to do so.
The spell of his old teacher’s mind and aspect
was upon him. His spirit was, as it were, bowed
before his Master in a kind of humility.
He walked home with a lightened heart,
feeling somewhat as a devout sinner might feel to
whom his confessor had given absolution. For about
twenty-four hours this mood lasted. Then he confronted
the fact that the beloved Master’s advice had
been largely, though not altogether, futile, because
it had not dealt with actuality. And Ian Stewart
saw himself to be moving in the plain, ordinary world
of men as solitary as a ghost which vainly endeavors
to make its presence and its needs recognized.