“Oh, please don’t touch
me, just for a minute!” she exclaimed.
“Please please just stop
a minute!”
She did not realize that her tone
was very much that of a patient addressing a dentist.
Francis’s arms dropped, and he looked at her,
all the light going out of his face, and showing its
weary lines. He closed the door entirely, carefully.
He went mechanically over to a chair and sat down
on it, always with that queer carefulness; he laid
his cap beside him, and looked at Marjorie, crouched
against the door.
“Please come over here and sit
down,” he said very courteously, but with the
boyishness gone from his voice even more completely
than Marjorie had wished.
She came very meekly and sat opposite
him, with a little queer cold feeling around her heart.
“Please look at me,” he
asked gently. She lifted her blue eyes miserably
to his, and tried to smile. But unconsciously
she shrank a little as she did so, and he saw it.
“I won’t touch you not
until you want me to,” he began. “What’s
the matter, Marjorie? Is it nerves, or are you
afraid of me, or ”
“It it was just your
coming so suddenly,” she lied miserably.
“It upset me. That was all.”
In her mind there was fixed firmly
the one thing, that she mustn’t be a coward,
she must go through with it, she must pretend well
enough to make Francis think she felt the way she
ought to. The Francis of pre-war times would
have been fooled; but this man had been judging men
and events that took as keen a mind as seeing through
a frightened girl. He looked at her musingly,
his face never changing. She rose and came over
to him and put her hand on his shoulder. She
even managed to laugh.
“Do you mind my being upset?” she asked.
“No,” he said, “if
that’s all it is. But you have a particular
kind of terror about you that I don’t like.
Or I think you have.”
She took her hand away, hurt by the
harshness of his voice then, seeing his
face, understood that he was not knowingly harsh.
She had hurt him terribly by that one unguarded moment,
and she would have to work very hard to put it out
of sight.
“I I haven’t any terror ”
she began to say.
He made himself smile a little at that.
“You mustn’t have,”
he said. “We’ll sit down on the davenport
over there that Lucille’s grandmother gave her
for a wedding-present you see how well
I remember the news about all the furniture?
And we’ll talk about it all quietly.”
“There’s nothing to talk
about,” said Marjorie desperately. She
went obediently over to the davenport and sat down
by him.
“You were upset at seeing me?” he began.
“It was well, it
was so sudden!” dimpled Marjorie, quoting the
tag with the sudden whimsicality which even death
would probably find her using.
“And I still seem do
I seem like a strange person to you, dear?” he
asked wistfully. “You don’t seem
strange to me, you know. You seem like the wife
I love.”
The worst of it was that when Francis
was gay and like a playmate, as he had been at their
luncheon before Logan came, she could feel that things
were nearly all right. But when he spoke as he
was speaking now the terror of him came back worse
than ever.
“No. No, you don’t
seem strange at all,” she said. “Why
should you?” But while she spoke the words she
knew they were not true. She looked at him,
and his face was like a stranger’s face.
She had known other men as well as she had known
her husband, except for the brief while when she had
promised to marry him. She took stock of his
features; the straight, clearly marked black brows
under the mark the cap made on his forehead; the rather
high cheekbones, the clear-cut nose and chin, the
little line of black mustache that did not hide his
hard-set and yet sensitive lips; the square, rather
long jaw “He’ll have deep lines
at the sides of his mouth in a few more years,”
she thought, and “He’s much
darker than I remembered him. But he has no color
under the brown. I thought he had a good deal
of color . . .” She appraised his face,
not liking it altogether, as if she had never seen
it before. His hand, long, narrow, muscular,
burned even more deeply than his face, and with a
fine black down lying close over it, seemed a hand
she had never seen or been touched by before.
But that was his wedding-ring her wedding-ring on
the thin third finger. She even knew that inside
it was an inscription “Marjorie Francis ”
and the date of their wedding. Hers was like
it. He had bought them and had them inscribed
with everything but the actual date before she had
given in; that had been put in, of course, the week
before their marriage. Oh, what right
had he to be wearing her wedding-ring?
“Would you like a little time
to think it over?” he asked heavily.
She was irrationally angry at him.
What right had he to think she needed time to think
it over? Why hadn’t he the decency to be
deceived by her behavior? Then she stole another
look at him, with all the gaiety and youth gone out
of his face, and made up her mind that the anger ought
to be on his side. But it apparently was not.
“Oh, please don’t
mind!” she begged him, abandoning some of her
defenses. “It’s true, I do feel a
little strange, but I’m sure it will all come
straight if if I wait a little. You
see, you were gone so long.”
“Yes. I worried a lot
about it on shipboard,” he answered her directly.
His face did not lighten, but there was a sort of
relief in his tone, as if actually knowing the truth
was better than being fenced with. “I
thought to myself ’I hurried her into
it so. I wonder if she really will care when
I come back.’ It was such a long time.
But then your letters were so sweet and loving, and
I cared such a lot ”
His voice broke. He had been
talking on a carefully emotionless dead level, but
now he suddenly stopped as if he had come to the end
of his control. But he was only silent a moment,
and went on:
“I cared so much that I thought
you must. That’s a queer thing, isn’t
it? You’ve known all your life that other
people think if they care enough the other person
will care, and you know they’re idiots.
And then your time comes, and you go and are the
same old idiot yourself. . . . Queer.
Well, I’m sorry, Marjorie. Shall I go now?
We can think about what we’d better do next time
we talk it over.”
“Oh, please, please!”
begged Marjorie. “Oh, Francis, I feel like
a dog a miserable, little coward-dog.
And and I don’t know why you’re
making all this up. I I haven’t
said anything like what ”
He put his arm around her, not in
the least as if he were her lover. It only felt
protecting, not like a man’s touch.
“I would be glad to think you
cared for me. But I am almost sure you don’t.
Everything you have said, and every one of your actions
since we came in, have seemed to me as if you didn’t.
It isn’t your fault, poor little thing.
It’s mine for hurrying you into it. . . .
Marjorie, Marjorie do you?”
There was an intense entreaty in his
tone. But she knew that only the truth would
do.
“No,” she said, dropping her head.
“I thought not,” he said,
rising stiffly and crossing to the door. “Well,
I’ll go now. I’ll come back some
time to-morrow, whenever it’s most convenient
for you, and we’ll discuss details.”
She ran after him. She did feel very guilty.
“Oh, Francis Francis!
Please don’t go! I’m sure I’ll
feel the way I should when I’ve tried a little
longer!”
He stopped for a moment, but only
to write something down on a piece of paper.
“There’s my telephone
number,” he said. “No, Marjorie,
I can’t stay any longer. This has been
pretty bad. I’ve got to go off and curl
up a minute, I think, if you don’t mind. . .
. Oh, dearest, don’t you see that I can’t
stay? I’ll have myself straightened out
by to-morrow, but ”
He had been acting very reasonably
up to now. But now he flung himself out the
door like a tornado. It echoed behind him.
Marjorie did not try to keep him. She sat still
for a minute longer, shivering. Then she began
to cry. She certainly did not want him for her
husband, but equally she did not want him to go off
and leave her. So she went over to the davenport
again, where she could cry better, and did wonders
in that line, in a steady, low-spirited way, till
Lucille came breezily in.
Lucille Strong was a plump, exuberant
person with corn-colored hair and bright blue eyes
and the most affectionate disposition in the world.
She also had a quick, fly-away temper, and more emotions
than principles. But her sense of humor was
so complete, and her sunniness so steady that nobody
demanded great self-sacrifice from her. Who
wouldn’t give anybody the biggest piece of cake
and the best chair and the most presents, for the
sake of having a Little Sunshine in the home?
At least, that was the way Billy Strong had looked
at it. He had been perfectly willing to put
off his marriage until Lucille decreed that there
was money enough for her to have her little luxuries
after marriage, in order to eventually possess Lucille.
People always and automatically gave her the lion’s
share of all material things, and she accepted them
quite as automatically. She was a very pleasant
housemate, and if she coaxed a little, invisibly, in
order to acquire the silk stockings and many birthday
presents and theater tickets which drifted to her,
why, as she said amiably, people value you more when
they do things for you than when you do things for
them.
“Why, you poor lamb!”
she said with sincere sympathy, pouncing on the desolate
and very limp Marjorie. “What’s the
matter? Did Francis have to go away from you?
Look here, honey, you can have my ”
What Lucille was about to offer was
known only to herself, because she never got any farther.
Marjorie sat up, her blue eyes dark-circled with
tears, and perhaps with the strain she had been undergoing.
“Yes,” she said in a subdued
voice. “He he had to go.
He’ll be back to-morrow.”
Lucille pounced again, and kissed
Marjorie rapturously, flushed with romance.
“Oh, isn’t it wonderful
to have him back! And Billy may be back any
minute, too! Marge, what on earth shall we do
about the apartment? It isn’t big enough
for three; and I can’t keep it on alone.
And the wretched thing’s leased for six months
longer. You know we thought they’d be
coming back together. But you and Francis can
take it over ”
“I I don’t
think we need to worry about that,” said Marjorie,
“for a while longer. I’ve made up
my mind to go on working. I’d be restless
without my work. Filing’s really very
exciting when you’re accustomed to it ”
Lucille released her housemate and
leaned back on the davenport, the better to laugh.
As she did so she flung off her coat and dropped it
on the floor, in the blessed hope that Marjorie would
pick it up, which usually happened. But Marjorie
did not.
“Filing,” Lucille said
through her laughter, “is undoubtedly the most
stimulating amusement known to the mind of man.
I wonder they pay you for doing it they
ought to offer it as a reward! Oh, Marge, you’ll
kill me! Now, you might as well be honest, my
child. You know you always tell me things eventually why
not now? What are your plans, and did Francis
bring any souvenirs? I told him to be sure to
bring back some of that French perfume that you wouldn’t
let him get you because it was too expensive for his
income. I wonder he ever respected you again
after that, incidentally. Did he?”
“Did he respect me? I
don’t know, I’m sure,” said Marjorie
dispiritedly. She knew that she would tell Lucille
all about it in two more minutes, and she did not
want to.
“No, darling! Did he bring the perfume?”
“I don’t know,”
said Marjorie. “Lucille, you haven’t
had your bath yet.”
“Did you light the hot water for me?”
“No, I forgot,” said Marjorie.
“All right, I’ll light
it,” said Lucille amiably. She was deflected
by this, and trotted out into the tiny kitchen to
light the gas under the hot water heater. She
came back in an exquisite blue crepe negligee, and
curled herself back of Marjorie on the davenport while
she waited for the water to heat, and for Marjorie
to tell her about it all.
“I wish my hair curled naturally,”
she said idly, slipping her fingers up the back of
Marjorie’s neck, where little fly-away rings
always curled.
“I wish it did,” said Marjorie with absent
impoliteness.
Lucille laughed again.
“Come back, dear! Remember,
I haven’t any happy reunion to weep over yet,
and be sympathetic. And I have an engagement
for dinner, and how will I ever keep it if you don’t
tell me everything Francis said? When did he
see Billy last?”
“He didn’t say.”
“What did he say?”
“He said,” said Marjorie,
turning around with blazing eyes and pouring forth
her words like a fountain, “that he’d wondered
if I really loved him, and now he was sure I didn’t.
And that he’d come back some time to-morrow
and discuss details. And he gave me his telephone
number, and said he couldn’t stay any longer,
and it was pretty bad, and he had to curl up ”
“Marjorie! Marjorie!
Stop! This is a bad dream you’ve had,
or something out of Alice in Wonderland!
Francis never said he had to curl up. Curl
up what?”
“Curl up himself, I suppose,”
said Marjorie with something very like a sob.
“I was perfectly rational and it made me feel
dreadful to hear him say it, and I knew just what
he meant. Curl up like a dog when it’s
hurt. Curl up!”
“Don’t! I
am!” said Lucille. “If you
issue any more orders in that tone I’ll look
like a caterpillar. Now, what really did happen,
Marjorie?” she ended in a gentler tone and more
seriously.
She pulled Marjorie’s head over
on to her own plump shoulder, and put an arm round
her.
“It was all my fault.
I don’t love him any more. I don’t
want to be married to him. I didn’t mean
to show it, I meant to be very good about it, but
he knows so much more than he did when he went away.
He knew it directly. And now he’s dreadfully
hurt.”
“You poor little darling!
What a horrid time you’ve been having all this
time everybody’s been thinking you were looking
forward to his coming home. Why, you must have
nearly gone crazy!”
“It’s worse for him,”
said Marjorie in a subdued voice, nestling down on
Lucille’s shoulder.
“Oh, I don’t know,”
said Lucille comfortably. “Men can generally
take care of themselves. . . . But are you sure
you don’t love him the least little bit?”
“I’m afraid of him.
He’s like somebody strange. . . . It’s
so long ago.”
“So long ago an’ so far
away, le’s hope it ain’ true!” quoted
Lucille amiably. “Well, darling, if you
don’t want to marry him you needn’t I
mean, if you don’t want to stay married to him
you needn’t. I’m sure something
can be done. Francis is perfectly sure to do
anything you like, he adores you so.”
But this didn’t seem to give
comfort, either. And as the boiler was moaning
with excess of heat, Lucille dashed for the bathtub.
She talked to Marjorie through the flimsy door as
she splashed, to the effect that Marjorie had much
better let her call up another man and go out on a
nice little foursome, instead of staying at home.
But there Marjorie was firm. She would have
preferred anything to her own society, but she felt
as if any sort of a party would have been like breaking
through first mourning.
So she saw Lucille, an immaculate
vision of satins and picture hats, go off gaily
with her cavalier, and remained herself all alone in
the little room, lying on the sofa, going over everything
that had happened and ending it differently.
She was very tired, and felt guiltier and guiltier
as time went on. Finally she rose and went to
the telephone and called the number Francis had left.
The voice that answered her was very curt and very
quiet.
“Yes. . . . This is Captain Ellison.
Yes, Marjorie? What is it?”
It seemed harder than ever to say
what she had to say in the face of that distant, unemotional
voice. But Marjorie had come to a resolve, and
went steadily on.
“I called up to say, Francis,
that I am ready to go with you anywhere you want to,
at any time. I will try to be a good wife to
you.”
She clung to the telephone, her heart
beating like a triphammer there in the dark, waiting
for his answer. It seemed a long time in coming.
When it did, it was furious.
“I don’t want you to go
with me anywhere, at any time. I don’t
want a wife who has to try to be a good wife to me.”
He hung up with an effect of flinging
the receiver in her face.
Marjorie almost ran back to the davenport she
was beginning to feel as if the davenport was the
nearest she had to a mother and flung herself
on it in a storm of angry tears. He was unjust.
He was violent. She didn’t want a man
like that what on earth had she humiliated
herself that way for, anyway? What was the use
of trying to be honorable and good and fair and doing
things for men, when they treated you like that?
Francis had proposed and proposed and proposed she
hadn’t been so awfully keen on marrying him.
. . . It had just seemed like the sort of thing
it would be thrilling to do. Well, thank goodness
he did feel that way. She was better off without
people like that, anyhow. She would go back home
to Westchester, and live a patient, meek, virtuous
life under Cousin Anna Stevenson’s thumb, as
she had before she got the position at the office
or got married. She certainly couldn’t
go back to the office and explain it all to them.
At least, she wouldn’t. It would be better,
even if Cousin Anna did treat everybody as if they
were ten and very foolish. . . . And she had
refused the offer of a nice foursome and one of Lucille’s
cheerful friends, to stay home and be treated this
way!
She rose and went to the telephone
again, with blazing cheeks.
She called up, on the chance, Logan’s
number; and amazingly got him. And she invited
him on the spot to come over the next evening and have
something in a chafing-dish with Lucille and herself.
Lucille, she knew, had no engagement for that evening,
and could produce men, always, out of thin air.
Marjorie chose Logan because Francis had said he
didn’t like him. She had been a little
too much afraid, before that, of Logan’s literariness
to dare call him up. But that night she would
have dared the Grand Cham of Tartary, if that dignitary
had had a phone number and been an annoyance to Francis
Ellison.
Logan, to her surprise, accepted eagerly,
and even forgot to be mannered. He did, it must
be said, keep her at the telephone, which was a stand-up
one, for an hour, while he talked brilliantly about
the Italian renaissance in its ultimate influence
on the arts and crafts movement of the present day.
To listen to Logan was a liberal education at any
moment, if a trifle too much like attending a lecture.
But at least he didn’t expect much answering.
She went to the office, next day,
in more or less of a dream. She was very quiet,
and worked very hard. Nobody said much to her;
she took care not to let them. When stray congratulations
came her way, as they were bound to, and when old
Mr. Morrissey, the vice-head, said, “I suppose
we can’t hope to keep you long now,” and
beamed, she answered without any heartbeatings or
difficulty. She was quite sure she would never
feel gay again; she had had so much happen to her.
But it was rather pleasant not to be able to have
any feelings, if a little monotonous. The only
thing at all on her mind was the question as to how
much cheese a party of four needed for a rarebit, and
whether Logan would or could eat rarebits at night.
And even that was to a certain degree a matter of
indifference.
She finally decided that scallops
a la King might be more what he would eat. She
bought them on her way home, together with all the
rest of the things she needed. Lucille had produced
a fourth person with her usual lack of effort, and
it promised to be if anything in life could
have been anything but flavorless rather
a good party.
In fact, it was. It was a dear
little apartment that the girls shared, with a living-room
chosen especially for having nice times in. It
was lighted by tall candles, and had a gas grate that
was almost human. There was a grand piano which
took up more than its share of room, there was the
davenport aforesaid, there were companionable chairs
and taborets acquired by Lucille and kept by Marjorie
in the exact places where they looked best; there
were soft draperies, also hemmed and put up by Marjorie.
The first thing visitors always said about it was
that it made them feel comfortable and at home.
They generally attributed the homelikeness to Lucille,
who was dangerously near looking matronly, rather
than to Marjorie, who would be more like a firefly
than a matron even when she became a grandmother.
Marjorie, with cooking to do, tied
up in a long orange colored apron, almost forgot things.
She loved to make things to eat. Lucille, meanwhile,
sat on the piano-stool and played snatches of “The
Long, Long Trail,” and the men, Lucille’s
negligible one and Marjorie’s Mr. Logan, made
themselves very useful in the way of getting plates
and arranging piles of crackers. The small black
kitten which had been a present to Lucille from the
janitor, who therefore was a mother to it while the
girls were out, sat expectantly on the edge of all
the places where he shouldn’t be, purring loudly
and having to be put down at five-minute intervals.
“I suppose this is a sort of
celebration of your having your husband back,”
said the Lucille man presently to Marjorie. He
had been told so, indeed, by Lucille, who was under
that impression herself, Logan looked faintly surprised.
He, to be frank, had forgotten all about Marjorie’s
having a husband who had to be celebrated.
Marjorie nearly spilled the scallops
she was serving at that moment, and the kitten, losing
its self-control entirely, climbed on the table with
a cry of entreaty for the excellent fish-smelling dishful
of things to eat. It was lucky for Marjorie
that he did, because while she was struggling with
him Lucille answered innocently for her.
“Yes, more or less. But
he’s late. Where’s your perfectly
good husband, Marge?”
“Late, I’m afraid,”
Marjorie answered, smiling, and wondering at herself
for being able to smile. “We aren’t
to wait for him.”
“Sensible child,” Lucille
answered. “I’m certainly very hungry.”
She drew her chair up to the low table
the men had pushed into the center of the room, sent
one of them to open the window, rather than turn out
the cheerful light of the gas grate, and the real business
of the party began.
It was going on very prosperously,
that meal; even Mr. Logan was heroically eating the
same things the rest did, and not taking up more than
his fair share of the conversation, when there was
a quick step on the stairs. Nobody heard it
but Marjorie, who stood, frozen, just as she had risen
to get a fork for somebody. She knew Francis’s
step, and when he clicked the little knocker she forced
herself to go over and let him in.
He came in exactly as if he belonged
there; but after one quick glance at the visitors
he drew Marjorie aside into the little inner room.
“Marjorie, I’ve come to
say I was unkind and unfair over the telephone.
I’ve made up my mind that you are fonder of me
than you know. I think it will be all right it
was foolish of me to be too proud to take you unless
you were absolutely willing. Let me take back
what I said, and forgive me. I know it will
be all right Marjorie!”
She gave him a furious push away from
her. Her eyes blazed.
“It never will be all right!
It isn’t going to have a chance to be!”
she told him, as angry as he had been when she called
him up. “You had your chance and you wouldn’t
take it. I don’t want to be your wife,
and I never will be. That’s all there is
to say.”
She took a step in the direction of
the outer room. He put out a hand to detain
her.
“Marjorie! Marjorie! Don’t!”
“I’m going out there,
and going to keep on having the nice time I had before
you came. If you try to do anything I’ll
probably make a scene.”
“You’re going to give
me one more chance,” he said. “That’s
settled.”
She looked at him defiantly.
“Try to make me,” was all she said, wrenching
her wrist out of his hand.
“I will,” said Francis grimly.
She smiled at him brilliantly as he
followed her into the room where the others were.
“I’m afraid there isn’t any way,”
she said sweetly.
Lucille, who had not seen Francis
before, flew at him now with a welcome which was affectionate
enough to end effectually any further ardors or defiances.
“And you’re in time for
your own party after all,” she ended, smiling
sunnily at him and pushing him into a chair.
She gave him a plate of scallops and a fork, and the
party went on as it had before. Only Marjorie
eyed him with nervous surprise. “What will
he do next?” she wondered.