I
Mrs. Barlow, the prettiest and the
happiest and the best dressed of the young wives of
Summerfield, was walking toward the Catholic Church.
She was going to consult the old priest as to her
duty to an unsatisfactory servant; for Agnes Barlow
was a conscientious as well as a pretty and a happy
woman.
Foolish people are fond of quoting
a foolish gibe: “Be good, and you may be
happy; but you will not have a good time.”
The wise, however, soon become aware that if, in the
course of life’s journey, you achieve goodness
and happiness, you will almost certainly have a good
time too.
So, at least, Agnes Barlow had found
in her own short life. Her excellent parents
had built one of the first new houses in what had then
been the pretty, old-fashioned village of Summerfield,
some fifteen miles from London. There she had
been born; there she had spent delightful years at
the big convent school over the hill; there she had
grown up into a singularly pretty girl; and there,
finally it had seemed quite final to Agnes she
had met the clever, fascinating young lawyer, Frank
Barlow.
Frank had soon become the lover all
her girl friends had envied her, and then the husband
who was still so he was fond of saying and
of proving in a dozen dear little daily ways as
much in love with her as on the day they were married.
They lived in a charming house called The Haven, and
they were the proud parents of a fine little boy, named
Francis after his father, who never had any of the
tiresome ailments which afflict other people’s
children.
But strange, dreadful things do happen not
often, of course, but just now and again even
in this delightful world! So thought Agnes Barlow
on this pleasant May afternoon; for, as she walked
to church, this pretty, happy, good woman found her
thoughts dwelling uncomfortably on another woman,
her sometime intimate friend and contemporary, who
was neither good nor happy.
This was Teresa Maldo, the lovely
half-Spanish girl who had been her favourite schoolmate
at the convent over the hill.
Poor, foolish, unhappy, wicked Teresa!
Only ten days ago Teresa had done a thing so extraordinary,
so awful, so unprecedented, that Agnes Barlow had
thought of little else ever since. Teresa Maldo
had eloped, gone right away from her home and her
husband, and with a married man!
Teresa and Agnes were the same age;
they had had the same upbringing; they were both in
a very different way, however beautiful,
and they had each been married, six years before,
on the same day of the month.
But how different had been their subsequent fates!
Teresa had at once discovered that
her husband drank. But she loved him, and for
a while it seemed as if marriage would reform Maldo.
Unfortunately, this better state of things did not
last: he again began to drink: and the matrons
of Summerfield soon had reason to shake their heads
over the way Teresa Maldo went on.
Men, you see, were so sorry for this
lovely young woman, blessed (or cursed) with what
old-fashioned folk call “the come-hither eye,”
that they made it their business to console her for
such a worthless husband as was Maldo. No wonder
Teresa and Agnes drifted apart; no wonder Frank Barlow
soon forbade his spotless Agnes to accept Mrs. Maldo’s
invitations. And Agnes knew that her dear Frank
was right; she had never much enjoyed her visits to
Teresa’s house.
But an odd thing had happened about
a fortnight ago. And it was to this odd happening
that Agnes’s mind persistently recurred each
time she found herself alone.
About three days before Teresa Maldo
had done the mad and wicked thing of which all Summerfield
was still talking, she had paid a long call on Agnes
Barlow.
The unwelcome guest had stayed a very
long time; she had talked, as she generally did talk
now, wildly and rather strangely; and Agnes, looking
back, was glad to remember that no one else had come
in while her old schoolfellow was there.
When, at last, Teresa Maldo had made
up her mind to go (luckily, some minutes before Frank
was due home from town), Agnes accompanied her to
the gate of The Haven, and there the other had turned
round and made such odd remarks.
“I came to tell you something!”
she had exclaimed. “But, now that I see
you looking so happy, so pretty, and forgive
me for saying so, Agnes so horribly good,
I feel that I can’t tell you! But, Agnes,
whatever happens, you must pity, and and,
if you can, understand me.”
It was now painfully clear to Agnes
Barlow that Teresa had come that day intending to
tell her once devoted friend of the wicked thing she
meant to do; and more than once pretty and good Mrs.
Barlow had asked herself uneasily whether she could
have done anything to stop Teresa on her downward
course.
But no; Agnes felt her conscience
clear. How would it have been possible for her
even to discuss with Teresa so shameful a possibility
as that of a woman leaving her husband with another
man?
Agnes thought of the two sinners with
a touch of fascinated curiosity. They were said
to be in Paris, and Teresa was probably having a very
good time a wildly amusing, exciting time.
She even told herself, did this pretty,
happy, fortunate young married woman, that it was
strange, and not very fair, that vice and pleasure
should always go together! It was just a little
irritating to know that Teresa would never again be
troubled by the kind of worries that played quite
an important part in Agnes’s own blameless life.
Never again, for instance, would Teresa’s cook
give her notice, as Agnes’s cook had given her
notice that morning. It was about that matter
she wished to see Father Ferguson, for it was through
the priest she had heard of the impertinent Irish
girl who cooked so well, but who had such an independent
manner, and who would not wear a cap!
Yes, it certainly seemed unfair that
Teresa would now be rid of all domestic worries nay,
more, that the woman who had sinned would live in
luxurious hotels, motoring and shopping all day, going
to the theatre or to a music-hall each night.
At last, however, Agnes dismissed
Teresa Maldo from her mind. She knew that it
is not healthy to dwell overmuch on such people and
their doings.
The few acquaintances Mrs. Barlow
met on her way smiled and nodded, but, as she was
walking rather quickly, no one tried to stop her.
She had chosen the back way to the church because
it was the prettiest way, and also because it would
take her by a house where a friend of hers was living
in lodgings.
And suddenly the very friend in question his
name was Ferrier came out of his lodgings.
He had a tall, slight, active figure; he was dressed
in a blue serge suit, and, though it was still early
spring, he wore a straw hat.
Agnes smiled a little inward smile.
She was, as we already know, a very good as well as
a happy woman. But a woman as pretty as was Agnes
Barlow meets with frequent pleasant occasions of withstanding
temptation, of which those about her, especially her
dear parents and her kind husband, are often curiously
unknowing. And the tall, well-set-up masculine
figure now hurrying toward her with such eager steps
played a considerable part in Agnes’s life,
if only as constantly providing her with occasions
of acquiring merit.
Agnes knew very well even
the least imaginative woman is always acutely conscious
of such a fact that, had she not been a
prudent and a ladylike as well as (of course) a very
good woman, this clever, agreeable, interesting young
man would have made love to her. As it was, he
(of course) did nothing of the kind. He did not
even try to flirt with her, as our innocent Agnes
understood that much-tried verb; and she regarded
their friendship as a pleasant interlude in her placid,
well-regulated existence, and as a most excellent influence
on his more agitated life.
Mr. Ferrier lifted his hat. He
smiled down into Agnes’s blue eyes. What
very charming, nay, what beautiful eyes they were!
Deeply, exquisitely blue, but unshadowed, as innocent
of guile, as are a child’s eyes.
“Somehow, I had a kind of feeling
that you would be coming by just now,” he said
in a rather hesitating voice; “so I left my work
and came out on chance.”
Now, Agnes was very much interested
in Mr. Ferrier’s work. Mr. Ferrier was
not only a writer the only writer she had
ever known; he was also a poet. She had been
pleasantly thrilled the day he had given her a slim
little book, on each page of which was a poem.
This gift had been made when they had known each other
only two months, and he had inscribed it: “From
G. G. F. to A. M. B.”
Mr. Ferrier had a charming studio
flat in Chelsea, that odd, remote place where London
artists live, far from the pleasant London of the
shops and theatres which was all Agnes knew of the
great City near which she dwelt. But he always
spent the summer in the country, and his summer lasted
from the 1st of May till the 1st of October. He
had already spent two holidays at Summerfield, and
had been a great deal at The Haven.
When with Mr. Ferrier, and they were
much together during the long week-days when Summerfield
is an Adamless Eden, Agnes Barlow made a point of
often speaking of dear Frank and of Frank’s love
for her, not, of course, in a way that
any one could have regarded as silly, but in a natural,
happy, simple way.
How easy, how very easy, it is to
keep this kind of friendship friendship
between a man and a woman within bounds!
And how terribly sad it was to think that Teresa Maldo
had not known how to do that easy thing! But
then, Teresa’s lover had been a married man
separated from his wife, and that doubtless made all
the difference. Agnes Barlow could assure herself
in all sincerity that, had Mr. Ferrier been the husband
of another woman, she would never have allowed him
to become her friend to the extent that he was now.
Mr. Ferrier Agnes never
allowed herself to think of him as Gerald (although
he had once asked her to call him by his Christian
name) held an evening paper in his hand.
“I was really on my way to The
Haven,” he observed, “for there are a few
verses of mine in this paper which I am anxious you
should read. Shall I go on and leave it at your
house, or will you take it now? And then, if
I may, I will call for it some time to-morrow.
Should I be likely to find you in about four o’clock?”
“Yes, I’ll be in about
four, and I think I’ll take the paper now.”
And then for she was walking
very slowly, and Ferrier, with his hands behind his
back, kept pace with her Agnes could not
resist the pleasure of looking down at the open sheet,
for the newspaper was so turned about that she could
see the little set of verses quite plainly.
The poem was called “My Lady
of the Snow,” and it told in very pretty, complicated
language of a beautiful, pure woman whom the writer
loved in a desperate but quite respectful way.
She grew rather red. “I
must hurry on, for I am going to church,” she
said a little stiffly. “Good evening, Mr.
Ferrier. Yes, I will keep the paper till to-morrow,
if I may. I should like to show it to Frank.
He hasn’t been to the office to-day, for he
isn’t very well, and he will like to see an
evening paper.”
Mr. Ferrier lifted his hat with a
rather sad look, and turned back toward the house
where he lodged. And as Agnes walked on she felt
disturbed and a little uncomfortable. Her clever
friend had evidently been grieved by her apparent
lack of appreciation of his poem.
When she reached the church her parents
had helped to build, she went in, knelt down, and
said a prayer. Then she got up and walked through
into the sacristy. Father Ferguson was almost
certain to be there just now.
Agnes Barlow had known the old priest
all her life. He had baptized her; he had been
chaplain at the convent during the years she had been
at school there; and now he had come back to be parish
priest at Summerfield.
When with Father Ferguson, Agnes somehow
never felt quite so good as she did when she was by
herself or with a strange priest; and yet Father Ferguson
was always very kind to her.
As she came into the sacristy he looked
round with a smile. “Well?” he said.
“Well, Agnes, my child, what can I do for you?”
Agnes put the newspaper she was holding
down on a chair. And then, to her surprise, Father
Ferguson took up the paper and glanced over the front
page. He was an intelligent man, and sometimes
he found Summerfield a rather shut-in, stifling sort
of place.
But the priest’s instinctive
wish to know something of what was passing in the
great world outside the suburb where it was his duty
to dwell did him an ill turn, for something he read
in the paper caused him to utter a low, quick exclamation
of intense pain and horror.
“What’s the matter?”
cried Agnes Barlow, frightened out of her usual self-complacency.
“Whatever has happened, Father Ferguson?”
He pointed with shaking finger to
a small paragraph. It was headed “Suicide
of a Lady at Dover,” and Agnes read the few lines
with bewildered and shocked amazement.
Teresa Maldo, whom she had visioned,
only a few minutes ago, as leading a merry, gloriously
careless life with her lover, was dead. She had
thrown herself out of a bedroom window in a hotel at
Dover, and she had been killed instantly, dashed into
a shapeless mass on the stones below.
Agnes stared down at the curt, cold
little paragraph with excited horror. She was
six-and-twenty, but she had never seen death, and,
as far as she knew, the girls with whom she had been
at school were all living. Teresa poor
unhappy, sinful Teresa had been the first
to die, and by her own hand.
The old priest’s eyes slowly
brimmed over with tears. “Poor, unhappy
child!” he said, with a break in his voice.
“Poor, unfortunate Teresa! I did not think,
I should never have believed, that she would seek and
find this terrible way out.”
Agnes was a little shocked at his
broken words. True, Teresa had been very unhappy,
and it was right to pity her; but she had also been
very wicked; and now she had put, as it were, the
seal on her wickedness by killing herself.
“Three or four days before she
went away she came and saw me,” the priest went
on, in a low, pained voice. “I did everything
in my power to stop her, but I could do nothing she
had given her word!”
“Given her word?” repeated Agnes wonderingly.
“Yes,” said Father Ferguson;
“she had given that wretched, that wickedly
selfish man her promise. She believed that if
she broke her word he would kill himself. I begged
her to go and see some woman some kind,
pitiful, understanding woman but I suppose
she feared lest such a one would dissuade her to more
purpose than I was able to do.”
Agnes looked at him with troubled eyes.
“She was very dear to my heart,”
the priest went on. “She was always a generous,
unselfish child, and she was very, very fond of you,
Agnes.”
Agnes’s throat tightened.
What Father Ferguson said was only too true.
Teresa had always been a very generous and unselfish
girl, and very, very fond of her. She wondered
remorsefully if she had omitted to do or say anything
she could have done or said on the day that poor Teresa
had come and spoken such strange, wild words ?
“It seems so awful,” she
said in a low voice, “so very, very awful to
think that we may not even pray for her soul, Father
Ferguson.”
“Not pray for her soul?”
the priest repeated. “Why should we not
pray for the poor child’s soul? I shall
certainly pray for Teresa’s soul every day till
I die.”
“But but how can you do that, when
she killed herself?”
He looked at her surprised. “And
do you really so far doubt God’s mercy?
Surely we may hope nay, trust that
Teresa had time to make an act of contrition?”
And then he muttered something it sounded
like a line or two of poetry which Agnes
did not quite catch; but she felt, as she often did
feel when with Father Ferguson, at once rebuked and
rebellious.
Of course there might have
been time for Teresa to make an act of contrition.
But every one knows that to take one’s life is
a deadly sin. Agnes felt quite sure that if it
ever occurred to herself to do such a thing she would
go straight to hell. Still, she was used to obey
this old priest, and that even when she did not agree
with him. So she followed him into the church,
and side by side they knelt down and each said a separate
prayer for the soul of Teresa Maldo.
As Agnes Barlow walked slowly and
soberly home, this time by the high road, she tried
to remember the words, the lines of poetry, that Father
Ferguson had muttered. They at once haunted and
eluded her memory. Surely they could not be
Between the window and the
ground,
She mercy sought and mercy
found.
No, Agnes was sure that he had not
said “window,” and yet window seemed the
only word that would fit the case. And he had
not said, “she mercy found”; he
had said, “he mercy sought and mercy found” of
that Agnes felt sure, and that, too, was odd.
But then, Father Ferguson was very odd sometimes,
and he was fond of quoting in his sermons queer little
bits of verse of which no one had ever heard.
Suddenly she bethought herself, with
more annoyance than the matter was worth, that in
her agitation she had left Mr. Ferrier’s newspaper
in the sacristy. She did not like the thought
that Father Ferguson would probably read those pretty,
curious verses, “My Lady of the Snow.”
Also, Agnes had actually forgotten
to speak to the old priest of her impertinent cook!
II
We find Agnes Barlow again walking
in Summerfield; but this time she is hurrying along
the straight, unlovely cinder-strewn path which forms
a short cut from the back of The Haven to Summerfield
station; and the still, heavy calm of a late November
afternoon broods over the rough ground on either side
of her.
It is nearly six months since Teresa
Maldo’s elopement and subsequent suicide, and
now no one ever speaks of poor Teresa, no one seems
to remember that she ever lived, excepting, perhaps,
Father Ferguson....
As for Agnes herself, life had crowded
far too many happenings into the last few weeks for
her to give more than a passing thought to Teresa;
indeed, the image of her dead friend rose before her
only when she was saying her prayers. And as
Agnes, strange to say, had grown rather careless as
to her prayers, the memory of Teresa Maldo was now
very faint indeed.
An awful, and to her an incredible,
thing had happened to Agnes Barlow. The roof
of her snug and happy House of Life had fallen in,
and she lay, blinded and maimed, beneath the fragments
which had been hurled down on her in one terrible
moment.
Yes, it had all happened in a moment so
she now reminded herself, with the dull ache which
never left her.
It was just after she had come back
from Westgate with little Francis. The child
had been ailing for the first time in his life, and
she had taken him to the seaside for six weeks.
There, in a day, it had turned from
summer to winter, raining as it only rains at the
seaside; and suddenly Agnes had made up her mind to
go back to her own nice, comfortable home a whole
week before Frank expected her back.
Agnes sometimes acted like that on
a quick impulse; she did so to her own undoing on
that dull, rainy day.
When she reached Summerfield, it was
to find her telegram to her husband lying unopened
on the hall table of The Haven. Frank, it seemed,
had slept in town the night before. Not that
that mattered, so she told herself gleefully, full
of the pleasant joy of being again in her own home;
the surprise would be the greater and the more welcome
when Frank did come back.
Having nothing better to do that first
afternoon, Agnes had gone up to her husband’s
dressing-room in order to look over his summer clothes
before sending them to the cleaner. In her careful,
playing-at-housewifely fashion, she had turned out
the pockets of his cricketing coat. There, a
little to her surprise, she had found three letters,
and idle curiosity as to Frank’s invitations
during her long stay away Frank was deservedly
popular with the ladies of Summerfield and, indeed,
with all women caused her to take the three
letters out of their envelopes.
In a moment how terrible
that it should take but a moment to shatter the fabric
of a human being’s innocent House of Life! Agnes
had seen what had happened to her to him.
For each of these letters, written in the same sloping
woman’s hand, was a love letter signed “Janey”;
and in each the writer, in a plaintive, delicate,
but insistent and reproachful way, asked Frank for
money.
Even now, though nearly seven weeks
had gone by since then, Agnes could recall with painful
vividness the sick, cold feeling that had come over
her a feeling of fear rather than anger,
of fear and desperate humiliation.
Locking the door of the dressing-room,
she had searched eagerly a dishonourable
thing to do, as she knew well. And soon she had
found other letters letters and bills;
bills of meals at restaurants, showing that her husband
and a companion had constantly dined and supped at
the Savoy, the Carlton, and Prince’s. To
those restaurants where he had taken her, Agnes, two
or three times a year, laughing and grumbling at the
expense, he had taken this this person
again and again in the short time his wife had been
away.
As to the further letters, all they
proved was that Frank had first met “Janey Cartwright”
over some law business of hers, connected even
Agnes saw the irony of it in some shameful
way with another man; for, tied together, were a few
notes signed with the writer’s full name, of
which the first began:
Dear Mr. Barlow:
Forgive
me for writing to your private address
[etc.,
etc.].
The ten days that followed her discovery
had seared Agnes’s soul. Frank had been
so dreadfully affectionate. He had pretended she
felt sure it was all pretence to be so
glad to see her again, though sometimes she caught
him looking at her with cowed, miserable eyes.
More than once he had asked her solicitously
if she felt ill, and she had said yes, she did feel
ill, and the time at the seaside had not done her
any good.
And then, on the last of those terrible
ten days, Gerald Ferrier had come down to Summerfield,
and both she and Frank had pressed him to stay on
to dinner. He had done so, though aware that something
was wrong, and he had been extraordinarily kind, sympathetic,
unquestioning. But as he was leaving he had said
a word to his host: “I feel worried about
Mrs. Barlow” Agnes had heard him
through the window. “She doesn’t look
the thing, somehow! How would it be if I asked
her to go with me to a private view? It might
cheer her up, and perhaps she would lunch with me
afterwards?” Frank had eagerly assented.
Since then Agnes had gone up to London,
if not every day, very nearly every day, and Mr. Ferrier
had done his best, without much success, to “cheer
her up.”
Though they soon became more intimate
than they had ever been, Agnes never told Ferrier
what it was that had turned her from a happy, unquestioning
child into a miserable woman; but, of course, he guessed.
And gradually Frank also had come
to know that she knew, and, man-like, he spent less
and less time in his now uncomfortable home. He
would go away in the morning an hour earlier than
usual, and then, under pretext of business keeping
him late at the office, he would come back after having
dined, doubtless with “Janey,” in town.
Soon Agnes began to draw a terrible
comparison between these two men between
the husband who had all she had of heart, and the friend
whom she now acknowledged to herself for
hypocrisy had fallen away from her had
lived only for her, and for the hours they were able
to spend together, during two long years, and yet
who had never told her of his love, or tried to disturb
her trust in Frank.
Yes, Gerald Ferrier was all that was
noble Frank Barlow all that was ignoble.
So she told herself with trembling lip a dozen times
a day, taking fierce comfort in the knowledge that
Ferrier was noble. But she was destined even
to lose that comfort; for one day, a week before the
day when we find her walking to Summerfield station,
Ferrier’s nobility, or what poor Agnes took
to be such, suddenly broke down.
They had been walking together in
Battersea Park, and, after one of those long silences
which bespeak true intimacy between a man and a woman,
he had asked her if she would come back to his rooms for
tea.
She had shaken her head smilingly.
And then he had turned on her with a torrent of impetuous,
burning words words of ardent love, of anguished
longing, of eager pleading. And Agnes had been
frightened, fascinated, allured.
And that had not been all.
More quietly he had gone on to speak
as if the code of morality in which his friend had
been bred, and which had hitherto so entirely satisfied
her, was, after all, nothing but a narrow counsel of
perfection, suited to those who were sheltered and
happy, but wretchedly inadequate to meet the needs
of the greater number of human beings who are, as Agnes
now was, humiliated and miserable. His words
had found an echo in her sore heart, but she had not
let him see how much they moved her. On the contrary,
she had rebuked him, and for the first time they had
quarrelled.
“If you ever speak to me like
that again,” she had said coldly, “I will
not come again.”
And once more he had turned on her
violently. “I think you had better not
come again! I am but a man after all!”
They parted enemies; but the same
night Ferrier wrote Agnes a very piteous letter asking
pardon on his knees for having spoken as he had done.
And his letter moved her to the heart. Her own
deep misery never for one moment did she
forget Frank, and Frank’s treachery made
her understand the torment that Ferrier was going
through.
For the first time she realized, what
so few of her kind ever realize, that it is a mean
thing to take everything and give nothing in exchange.
And gradually, as her long, solitary hours wore themselves
away, Agnes came to believe that if she did what she
now knew Ferrier desired her to do, if,
casting the past behind her, she started a new life
with him she would not only be doing a
generous thing by the man who had loved her silently
and faithfully for so long, but she would also be
punishing Frank hurting him in his honour,
as he had hurt her in hers.
And then the stars that fight in their
courses for those lovers who are also poets fought
for Ferrier.
The day after they had quarrelled
and he had written her his piteous letter of remorse,
Gerald Ferrier fell ill. But he was not too ill
to write. And after he had been ill four days,
and when Agnes was feeling very, very miserable, he
wrote and told her of a wonderful vision which had
been vouchsafed to him.
In this vision Ferrier had seen Agnes
knocking at the narrow front door of the lonely flat
where he lived solitary; and through the door had
slipped in his angelic visitant, by her mere presence
bringing him peace, health, and the happiness he was
schooling himself to believe must never come to him
through her.
The post which brought her the letter
in which Ferrier told his vision brought also to Agnes
Barlow a little registered parcel containing a pearl-and-diamond
pendant from Frank.
For a few moments the two lay on her
knee. Then she took up the jewel and looked at
it curiously. Was it with such a thing as this
that her husband thought to purchase her forgiveness?
If Ferrier’s letter had never
been written, if Frank’s gift had never been
despatched, it may be doubted whether Agnes would have
done what we now find her doing hastening,
that is, on her way to make Ferrier’s dream
come true.
At last she reached the little suburban
station of Summerfield.
One of her father’s many kindnesses
to her each year was the gift of a season ticket to
town; but to-day some queer instinct made her buy a
ticket at the booking-office instead.
The booking-clerk peered out at her,
surprised; then made up his mind that pretty Mrs.
Barlow she wore to-day a curiously thick
veil had a friend with her. But his
long, ruminating stare made her shrink and flush.
Was it possible that what she was about to do was written
on her face?
She was glad indeed when the train
steamed into the station. She got into an empty
carriage, for the rush that goes on each evening Londonward
from the suburbs had not yet begun.
And then, to her surprise, she found
that it was the thought of her husband, not of the
man to whom she was going to give herself, that filled
her sad, embittered heart.
Old memories memories connected
with Frank, his love for her, her love for him became
insistent. She lived again, while tears forced
themselves into her closed eyes, through the culminating
moment of her marriage day, the start for the honeymoon, a
start made amid a crowd of laughing, cheering friends,
from the little station she had just left.
She remembered the delicious tremor
which had come over her when she had found herself
at last alone, really alone, with her three-hour-old
bridegroom.
How infinitely kind and tender Frank had been to her!
And then Agnes reminded herself, with tightening breath,
that men like
Frank Barlow are always kind too kind to
women.
Other journeys she and Frank had taken
together came and mocked her, and especially the journey
which had followed a month after little Francis’s
birth.
Frank had driven with her, the nurse,
and the baby, to the station but only to
see them off. He had had a very important case
in the Courts just then, and it was out of the question
that he should go with his wife to Littlehampton for
the change of air, the few weeks by the sea, that
had been ordered by her good, careful doctor.
And then at the last moment Frank
had suddenly jumped into the railway carriage without
a ticket, and had gone along with her part of the way!
She remembered the surprise of the monthly nurse, the
woman’s prim remark, when he had at last got
out at Horsham, that Mr. Barlow was certainly the
kindest husband she, the nurse, had ever seen.
But these memories, now so desecrated,
did not make her give up her purpose. Far from
it, for in a queer way they made her think more tenderly
of Gerald Ferrier, whose life had been so lonely, and
who had known nothing of the simpler human sanctities
and joys, and who had never so he had told
her with a kind of bitter scorn of himself been
loved by any woman whom he himself could love.
In her ears there sounded Ferrier’s
quick, hoarsely uttered words: “D’you
think I should ever have said a word to you of all
this if you had gone on being happy?
D’you think I’d ask you to come to me if
I thought you had any chance of being happy with him now?”
And she knew in her soul that he had
spoken truly. Ferrier would never have tried
to disturb her happiness with Frank; he had never so
tried during those two years when they had seen so
much of each other, and when Agnes had known, deep
down in her heart, that he loved her, though it had
suited her conscience to pretend that his love was
only “friendship.”
III
The train glided into the fog-laden
London station, and very slowly Agnes Barlow stepped
down out of the railway carriage. She felt oppressed
by the fact that she was alone. During the last
few weeks Ferrier had always been standing on the
platform waiting to greet her, eager to hurry her
into a cab to a picture gallery, to a concert,
or of late, oftenest of all, to one of those green
oases which the great town still leaves her lovers.
But now Ferrier was not here.
Ferrier was ill, solitary, in the lonely rooms which
he called “home.”
Agnes Barlow hurried out of the station.
Hammer, hammer, hammer went what she
supposed was her heart. It was a curious, to
Agnes a new sensation, bred of the fear that she would
meet some acquaintance to whom she would have to explain
her presence in town. She could not help being
glad that the fog was of that dense, stifling quality
which makes every one intent on his own business rather
than on that of his neighbours.
Then something happened which scared
Agnes. She was walking, now very slowly, out
of the station, when a tall man came up to her.
He took off his hat and peered insolently into her
face.
“I think I’ve had the
pleasure of meeting you before,” he said.
She stared at him with a great, unreasonable
fear gripping her heart. No doubt this was some
business acquaintance of Frank’s. “I I
don’t think so,” she faltered.
“Oh, yes,” he said.
“Don’t you remember, two years ago at the
Pirola in Regent Street? I don’t think
I can be wrong.”
And then Agnes understood. “You
are making a mistake,” she said breathlessly,
and quickened her steps.
The man looked after her with a jeering
smile, but he made no further attempt to molest her.
She was trembling shaken
with fear, disgust, and terror. It was odd, but
such a thing had never happened to pretty Agnes Barlow
before. She was not often alone in London; she
had never been there alone on such a foggy evening,
an evening which invited such approaches as those she
had just repulsed.
She touched a respectable-looking
woman on the arm. “Can you tell me the
way to Flood Street, Chelsea?” she asked, her
voice faltering.
“Why, yes, Miss. It’s
a good step from here, but you can’t mistake
it. You’ve only got to go straight along,
and then ask again after you’ve been walking
about twenty minutes. You can’t mistake
it.” And she hurried on, while Agnes tried
to keep in step behind her, for the slight adventure
outside the station became retrospectively terrifying.
She thrilled with angry fear lest that that
brute should still be stalking her; but when she looked
over her shoulder she saw that the pavement was nearly
bare of walkers.
At last the broad thoroughfare narrowed
to a point where four streets converged. Agnes
glanced fearfully this way and that. Which of
those shadowy black-coated figures hurrying past,
intent on their business, would direct her rightly?
Within the last half-hour Agnes had grown horribly
afraid of men.
And then, with more relief than the
fact warranted, across the narrow roadway she saw
emerge, between two parting waves of fog, the shrouded
figure of a woman leaning against a dead wall.
Agnes crossed the street, but as she
stepped up on to the kerb, suddenly there broke from
her, twice repeated, a low, involuntary cry of dread.
“Teresa!” she cried.
And then, again, “Teresa!” For in the shrouded
figure before her she had recognized, with a thrill
of incredulous terror, the form and linéaments
of Teresa Maldo.
But there came no answering cry; and
Agnes gave a long, gasping, involuntary sigh of relief
as she realized that what had seemed to be her dead
friend’s dark, glowing face was the face of a
little child a black-haired beggar child,
with large startled eyes wide open on a living world.
The tall woman whose statuesque figure
had so strangely recalled Teresa’s supple, powerful
form was holding up the child, propping it on the
wall behind her.
Still shaking with the chill terror
induced by the vision she now believed she had not
seen, Agnes went up closer to the melancholy group.
Even now she longed to hear the woman
speak. “Can you tell me the way to Flood
Street?” she asked.
The woman looked at her fixedly.
“No, that I can’t,” she said listlessly.
“I’m a stranger here.” And then,
with a passionate energy which startled Agnes, “For
God’s sake, give me something, lady, to help
me to get home! I’ve walked all the way
from Essex; it’s taken me, oh! so long with
the child, though we’ve had a lift here and a
lift there, and I haven’t a penny left.
I came to find my husband; but he’s lost himself on
purpose!”
A week ago, Agnes Barlow would have
shaken her head and passed on. She had always
held the theory, carefully inculcated by her careful
parents, that it is wrong to give money to beggars
in the street.
But perhaps the queer illusion that
she had just experienced made her remember Father
Ferguson. In a flash she recalled a sermon of
the old priest’s which had shocked and disturbed
his prosperous congregation, for in it the preacher
had advanced the astounding theory that it is better
to give to nine impostors than to refuse the one just
man; nay, more, he had reminded his hearers of the
old legend that Christ sometimes comes, in the guise
of a beggar, to the wealthy.
She took five shillings out of her
purse, and put them, not in the woman’s hand,
but in that of the little child.
“Thank you,” said the
woman dully. “May God bless you!”
That was all, but Agnes went on, vaguely comforted.
And now at last, helped on her way
by more than one good-natured wayfarer, she reached
the quiet, but shabby Chelsea street where Ferrier
lived. The fog had drifted towards the river,
and in the lamplight Agnes Barlow was not long in
finding a large open door, above which was inscribed:
“The Thomas More Studios.”
Agnes walked timorously through into
the square, empty, gas-lit hall, and looked round
her with distaste. The place struck her as very
ugly and forlorn, utterly lacking in what she had
always taken to be the amenities of flat life an
obsequious porter, a lift, electric light.
How strange of Ferrier to have told
her that he lived in a building that was beautiful!
Springing in bold and simple curves,
rose a wrought-iron staircase, filling up the centre
of the narrow, towerlike building. Agnes knew
that Ferrier lived high up, somewhere near the top.
She waited a moment at the foot of
the staircase. She was gathering up her strength,
throwing behind her everything that had meant life,
happiness, and what signified so very much
to such a woman as herself personal repute.
But, even so, Agnes did not falter
in her purpose. She was still possessed, driven
onward, by a passion of jealous misery.
But, though her spirit was willing,
ay, and more than willing, for revenge, her flesh
was weak; and as she began slowly walking up the staircase
she started nervously at the grotesque shapes cast
by her own shadow, and at the muffled sounds of her
own footfalls.
Half-way up the high building the
gas-jets burned low, and Agnes felt aggrieved.
What a mean, stupid economy on the part of the owners
of this strange, unnatural dwelling-place.
How dreadful it would be if she were
to meet any one she knew any one belonging
to what she was already unconsciously teaching herself
to call her old, happy life! As if in cruel answer
to her fear, a door opened, and an old man, clad in
a big shabby fur coat and broad-brimmed hat, came
out.
Agnes’s heart gave a bound in
her bosom. Yes; this was what she had somehow
thought would happen. In the half-light she took
the old man to be an eccentric acquaintance of her
father’s.
“Mr. Willis?” she whispered hoarsely.
He looked at her, surprised, resentful.
“My name’s not Willis,”
he said gruffly, as he passed her on his way down,
and her heart became stilled. How could she have
been so foolish as to take that disagreeable old man
for kindly-natured Mr. Willis?
She was now very near the top.
Only a storey and a half more, and she would be there.
Her steps were flagging, but a strange kind of peace
had fallen on her. In a few moments she would
be safe, for ever, in Ferrier’s arms. How
strange and unreal the notion seemed!
And then and then, as if
fashioned by some potent incantation from the vaporous
fog outside, a tall, grey figure rose out of nothingness,
and stood, barring the way, on the steel floor of
the landing above her.
Agnes clutched the iron railing, too
oppressed rather than too frightened to speak.
Out in the fog-laden street she had involuntarily
called out the other’s name. “Teresa?”
she had cried, “Teresa!” But this time
no word broke from her lips, for she feared that if
she spoke the other would answer.
Teresa Maldo’s love, the sisterly
love of which Agnes had been so little worthy, had
broken down the gateless barrier which stretches its
dense length between the living and the dead.
What she, the living woman, had not known how to do
for Teresa, the dead woman had come back to do for
her for now Agnes seemed suddenly able to
measure the depth of the gulf into which she had been
about to throw herself....
She stared with fearful, fascinated
eyes at the immobile figure swathed in grey, cere-like
garments, and her gaze travelled stealthfully up to
the white, passionless face, drained of all expression
save that of watchful concern and understanding tenderness....
With a swift movement Agnes turned
round. Clinging to the iron rail, she stumbled
down the stairway to the deserted hall, and with swift
terror-hastened steps rushed out into the street.
Through the fog she plunged, not even
sparing a moment to look back and up to the dimly
lighted window behind which poor Ferrier stood, as
a softer, a truer-natured woman might have done.
Violently she put all thought of her lover from her,
and as she hurried along with tightening breath, the
instinct of self-preservation alone possessing her,
she became more and more absorbed in measuring the
fathomless depth of the pit in which she had so nearly
fallen.
Her one wish now was to get home to
get home to get home before Frank
got back.
But the fulfilment of that wish was
denied her for as Agnes Barlow walked,
crying softly as she went, in the misty darkness along
the road which led from Summerfield station to the
gate of The Haven, there fell on her ear the rhythmical
tramp of well-shod feet.
She shrank near to the hedge, in no
mood to greet or to accept greeting from a neighbour.
But the walker was now close to her. He struck
a match.
“Agnes?” It was Frank
Barlow’s voice shamed, eager, questioning.
“Is that you? I thought I hoped
you would come home by this train.”
And as she gave no immediate answer,
as he missed God alone knew with what relief the
prim, cold accents to which his wife had accustomed
him of late, he hurried forward and took her masterfully
in his arms. “Oh! my darling,” he
whispered huskily, “I know I’ve been a
beast but I’ve never left off loving
you and I can’t stand your coldness,
Agnes; it’s driving me to the devil! Forgive
me, my pure angel
And Frank Barlow’s pure angel
did forgive him, and with a spontaneity and generous
forgetfulness which he will ever remember. Nay,
more; Agnes and this touched her husband
deeply even gave up her pleasant acquaintance
with that writing fellow, Ferrier, because Ferrier,
through no fault of his, was associated, in both their
minds, with the terrible time each would have given
so much to obliterate from the record of their otherwise
cloudless married life.