Mrs. Peter Champneys drove away from
the scene of her wedding, feeling as if boiling water
had been poured over her. No man of all the men
she had ever met had looked at her with just such an
expression as she had encountered in Peter Champneys’s
eyes, and the memory of it filled her with a rankling
sense of injustice. He had married her for the
same reason she had married him, hadn’t he?
Then why should he think himself a whit better than
she was? It seemed to her that all the unkindness,
all the slights she had ever endured, had come to
a head in Peter’s distressed and astonished glance.
Nancy had no illusions as to her own
personal appearance, but it occurred to her that her
bridegroom left considerable to be desired in that
respect, himself. With his hatchet face and his
outstanding ears and his big nose why,
he was as homely as that dried old priest in the glass
case in the museum! and him looking down
on people every mite as good as he was! That
was really the crux of the thing: Nancy had her
own pride, and Peter had managed to trample upon it
roughshod. She felt she could never forgive him,
and her sense of injury included Chadwick Champneys
as well. She hadn’t asked him to make his
nephew marry her, had she? The suggestion had
come from the Champneys, not from her. Yet it
was plain to her that both these men considered her
a very inferior person. She couldn’t understand
them.
She liked the furnished apartment
she and Mr. Champneys were to occupy until their house
was ready, better than she had liked the hotel, though
the Japanese butler, Hoichi, overawed her. She
wasn’t used to Japanese butlers and she didn’t
know exactly how to treat this suave, deft, silent
yellow man who was so efficient and so ubiquitous.
It was different where the maids were concerned; she
who had been so lately an unpaid drudge was afraid
these trained, clever servants might suspect her former
state of servitude and she covered her fear with a
manner so insupportable that Mr. Chadwick Champneys,
who looked upon arrogant rudeness to social inferiors
as a sort of eighth deadly sin, was presently forced
to remonstrate.
“Nancy,” he ventured one
morning, “I have been observing your manner
to the servants with er disapproval.
A habitual lack of consideration is a serious deficiency.
It is really a lack of breeding and of
heart. A lady” he fixed his large
dark eyes upon her “is never impolite.”
He touched her on the quick.
She knew these Champneys didn’t think
she was a lady, but for this old man to come right
out and say so to her face “Say,
I guess I know how to be a lady without you havin’
to tell me!”
“I am more than willing to be
convinced,” said the South Carolinian, pointedly.
At that, of a sudden, Nancy flared.
She lifted a pair of sullen and mutinous eyes, and
her lips quivered. He saw with surprise that she
was trembling.
“Say, you look here I
done what you told me to do, didn’t I? I
ain’t no more nor no less a lady than I was before
I done it, am I? What you pickin’ on me
for, then? What more you want?”
He sighed. Milly’s niece
was distinctly difficult, to say the least. How,
he asked himself desperately, was one to make a dent
in her appalling ignorance? She irritated him.
And as is usual with people who do not understand,
he took exactly the wrong course with her.
“I want you at least to try
to live up to your position,” he said with cold
directness, beetling his brows at her. “I
want you to do what you’re told and
to keep on doing it! Do you understand that?”
He felt that he was allowing himself to be more wrought
up than was good for him, and this added to his annoyance.
She considered this, sullenly.
“I’m not exackly straight in my mind what
I understand and what I don’t understand, yet,”
she replied. “But I got this much straight:
If I done what I done to please you, I done it to
please me, too!”
This was logical enough; it had even
a note of common sense and justice. But her crude
method of expressing it filled him with cold fury.
The Champneys temper strained at the leash.
“Ah!” said he, a dark
flush staining his face, “ah! Then get this
straight, too: you’ll please me only if
you carry out your part of our contract. What!
do you dream I would ruin my nephew’s life for
a self-willed, undisciplined minx? Nothing could
be farther from my thoughts! Nancy, I
made you Mrs. Peter Champneys: you will qualify
for the position or lose it!” He tapped
his foot on the floor, and glared at her.
Nancy gave him glare for glare.
“Yeah, you said it! You made me Mrs. Peter
Champneys, and all I got to do is to do what I don’t
want to do, to hold down the job! What you askin’
him to do to please me? How’s
he qualifyin’? Is he so much I’m
nothin’? Because that’s what he thinks!
Oh, you needn’t talk! I guess I got eyes,
at least!”
“I suggest that you use them
to your own advantage, then,” said he, disgustedly.
“Let us have done with such squabbling!
You agreed to obey. Very well, then, you will
do so, or I shall take steps to put you outside of
my calculations. In other words, I will wash my
hands of you. Is that perfectly clear to you?”
How else, he asked himself, was he to make her understand?
She saw that he was in a towering
rage, and she reflected that if she had made Baxter
that mad he’d have banged her with his fists.
For a long minute the two stared at each other.
She was about to make a defiant reply and let come
what might, when a sort of spasm distorted his face.
His mouth opened gaspingly, his eyes rolled back in
his head like a dying man’s. He seemed to
crumple up, and she caught him as he fell. Her
terrified shriek brought Hoichi, who took instant
charge of the situation. He made the unconscious
man comfortable on a divan, applied such restoratives
as were at hand, and directed a frightened maid to
telephone for physicians.
Nancy fled to her own room, and sat
on the edge of her bed, frightened and subdued.
That quarrel and its serious effect made a turning-point
in her life, though she attached no blame to herself
for the man’s illness. She had no love for
him, but her heart was not callous to suffering, and
his distorted and agonized face had terrified and
shocked her.
The suddenness of the seizure made
his words more impressive. Suppose he died:
what of her? She was not sure that any definite
provision had as yet been made for her. What,
then, should she do?
Suppose he recovered: what then?
She had cause for serious thought. All this luxury
and ease, this pleasant life of plenty, in which she
reveled with the deep delight of one quite unused to
it, hung upon a contingency the contingency
of absolute obedience. She was not naturally
supine, and her spirit rose against an unconditional
self-surrender to a hot-tempered, imperious old man,
who would mold her to his will, make her over to his
own notions, quite as high-handedly as if she’d
been a lump of putty and not a human being. Nancy
tasted the bitterness of having no voice in the making
of her own destiny.
Well, but suppose she defied him?
He was quite capable of washing his hands of her,
just as he had threatened. And then? Before
that possibility Nancy recoiled. No. She
couldn’t, she wouldn’t go back to that
old life of squalid slavery eating bad food,
wearing wretched clothes, suffering all the sodden
and sordid misery of the ignorant, abjectly poor,
a suffering twice as poignant now that she knew better
things. She knew poverty too well to have any
illusions about it. The Baxter kitchen rose before
her. Why! while she was sitting here now, in
this luxurious room, back there they’d be getting
ready for the noonday dinner. The close kitchen
would be reeking with the odor of boiling potatoes
and cabbage, from which a greasy steam would be arising,
so that one saw things as through a hot mist.
One of the children would be screaming, somewhere about
the house, and Mrs. Baxter, in an unsavory wrapper,
her face streaming with perspiration, her hair in
sticky strands on her hot forehead, would be shrilly
threatening personal chastisement: “You
shut up, out there! Just you wait till I get this
batch o’ biscuits off my hands an’ I bet
I fix you! didn’t I say shut up?”
The hateful voice seemed so close to Nancy’s
ear that the girl shrank back, shivering with distaste.
She fingered the soft, fine stuff
of the frock she was wearing. She stared about
the room, her room, which she didn’t
have to share with one of the Baxter children, who
squirmed and kicked all night in summer, and pulled
the bed-coverings off her in winter. She went
over to her dressing-table and fingered its pretty
accessories, sniffing with childish pleasure the delicately
scented powder and cologne. She looked at her
reflection in the mirror, and scowled. Then she
began to walk restlessly up and down the room.
She had to think this thing out.
Why should she go, and leave the road
clear for Peter Champneys? It occurred to her
that, seen from his point of view, her elimination
from the scene might be regarded somewhat in the light
of providential interference in his behalf. She
flushed. It wasn’t fair! The thought
of Peter Champneys was gall and wormwood to her.
Nancy wasn’t a fool. Her
honesty had a blunt directness, a sort of cave-woman
frankness. In her, truthfulness was not so much
a virtue as an energy. The hardness of her unloved
life had bred a like hardness in her sense of values;
she was distrustful and suspicious because she had
never had occasion to be anything else. In that
suspicion and distrustfulness had lain her safety.
She had no sense of spiritual values as yet.
Religion had meant going to church on Sundays when
you had clean clothes in which to appear. Morals
had meant being good, and to Nancy being good simply
meant not being bad and you couldn’t
be bad, go wrong, if you never trusted any man.
A girl that trusted none of ’em could keep respectable.
Nancy had seen girls who trusted men, in her time.
Nothing like that for her! But she knew,
also, the price the woman pays whether she trusts
or distrusts, and the matrimony which at times rewarded
the distrustful didn’t appear much more alluring
than the potter’s field which waited for the
credulous. Anyway you looked at it, what happened
wasn’t pleasant. And it was worse yet when
you knew there was something better and different.
You had to pay a price to get that something better
and different, of course. The fact that one pays
for everything one gets was coming home to Nancy with
increasing force; the problem, then, was to get your
money’s worth.
She took her head in her hands, and
tried to concentrate all her faculties. She wasn’t
a shirker, and she realized that she must decide upon
her course of conduct now and stick to it. If
she didn’t look out for herself, who would?
And presently she had reached the conclusion that
when Mr. Peter Champneys reappeared upon the scene,
he must find Mrs. Peter Champneys occupying the foreground,
and occupying it creditably, too. She’d
do it! When Mr. Chadwick Champneys recovered,
she’d come to terms with him. She’d
keep faith.
She spent three or four anxious days,
while specialists came and went, and white-capped,
starched, authoritative personages relieved each other
in the sick-room, their answers to all queries being
that the patient was doing quite as well as could be
expected. At the end of the fifth day they admitted
that the patient was recovering, was, in
fact, out of danger, though he wouldn’t leave
his room for another week or ten days; and he wasn’t
to be worried or disturbed about anything.
Satisfied, then, that he was on the
highroad to recovery, and having made up her mind
as to her own course of procedure, Nancy rather enjoyed
these few days of comparative freedom. She supplied
herself with a huge box of bonbons, “Junie’s
Love Test” and “The Widowed Bride,” books
begun long ago, but wrested from her untimely by the
ruthless Mrs. Baxter, on the score of takin’
her time off: her rightful work for them that’d
took her in, and fillin’ her red head with the
foolishest sort o’ notions. She had had
so much to do that to have nothing to do but lie around
in a red silk kimona and nibble chocolates and read
love stories, seemed to her the supreme height of
felicity.
She reveled in these novels.
They represented that something different toward which
her untutored and stinted heart groped blindly.
Otherwise her mind, by no means a poor one, lay fallow
and untilled. The beauty and wonder of the world,
the pity and terror of fate, the divine agony of love
which sacrifices and endures, did not as yet exist
for her. She merely sensed that there was something
different, somewhere maybe on the road ahead.
And so she wept over the woes of star-crost lovers,
and sentimentalized over husky heroes utterly unlike
any male beings known to nature, and believed she
didn’t believe that disinterested and unselfish
love existed in the world. As she hadn’t
the faintest gleam of self-knowledge, in all this
she was perfectly sincere.
She did not see Mr. Champneys for
two weeks or so. In his nervous condition he
evinced a singular reluctance to have her come near
him, although others saw him daily. For instance,
Mr. Jason Vandervelde appeared at half after ten o’clock
every morning during his client’s convalescence,
was immediately admitted to Mr. Champney’s room,
and left it upon the stroke of eleven.
Nancy watched this man curiously.
When he met her in the hall, he spoke to her in a
nice, full-toned, modulated voice, exceedingly pleasing
to the ear. His eyes were small but of a deep
and bright blue, and although he was heavily built
he wore his clothes so well that he gave the effect
of strength rather than of clumsiness. He was
clean-shaven and ruddy, and his large, well-shaped
mouth was deeply curled at the corners. His hands
were not fat and white, as one might expect, but tanned
and muscular, and slightly hairy. His glasses
gave him a certain precision, and his curled lips suggested
irony. Nancy liked to look at him. He discomfited
her understanding of men, for, she couldn’t
tell why, she both liked and trusted him. There
was nothing romantic about him, a well-fed,
well-groomed lawyer-man in his late thirties, with
a handsome wife in a handsome house, yet
he had the faculty of making her wonder about him,
and wonder with kindness at that. She wished
she knew just how much he knew about her, her early
upbringing, her sad lack of education. What had
Mr. Champneys told him? Or had he really told
him anything?
When her uncle finally overcame his
reluctance and sent for her, she entered his room
quietly and stood looking at him with an honest concern
that was in her favor. She was always honest,
he reflected. There was nothing of the hypocrite
or the coward in those wary gray-green eyes that always
met one’s glance without flinching.
The change in his appearance shocked
her. His eyes were hollow, his tall form looked
meager and shrunken. He was growing to be an old
man. She said awkwardly:
“I’m real sorry you been
so sick.” And she made no attempt to apologize
for her share in the quarrel that had led to his seizure.
She ignored it altogether, and for this he was grateful.
“Thank you. I am getting
along nicely,” he said civilly. And with
a slightly impatient gesture he dismissed all further
mention of illness. He leaned back in his chair
and closed his eyes, the better to collect his thoughts.
He wished to make his wishes perfectly clear to her.
But she surprised him by saying quietly:
“I been thinking things over
while you was sick, and I come to the conclusion you
was right. I got to have more education.
There’s things I just got to know how
to talk nice, and what to wear, and what fork you’d
ought to eat with. Forks and things drive me real
wild.”
“I had thought, at first, of
sending you to some particularly fine boarding-school ”
he began, but Nancy interrupted him.
“If I was six instead o’
sixteen, you might do it. As ’t is, I wouldn’t
learn nothin’ except to hate the girls that’d
be turnin’ up their noses at me. No.
I don’t want to go to boardin’-school.
I’ve saw music-teachers that come to folks’
houses to give lessons, and I been thinkin’,
why can’t you get me a school-teacher that’ll
teach me right at home!”
“As I was saying when interrupted,” he
looked at her reprovingly “I had
at first thought of sending you to some finishing
school. I gave up that idea almost at once.
I agree with you that it is best you should be taught
at home. In fact, I have already engaged the
lady who will be your companion as well as your teacher.”
“I don’t know as I’m
crazy about a lady companion as a steady job,”
said Nancy, doubtfully. She feared to lose her
new liberty, to forego the amazing delight of living
by herself, so to speak. “But now you’ve
done it, I sure hope you’ve picked out somebody
young. If I got to have a lady companion,
I want she should be young.”
“Mr. Vandervelde attended to
the matter for me,” said Mr. Champneys, in a
tone of finality. “He is sure that the lady
in question is exactly the person I wish. Mrs.
MacGregor is an Englishwoman, the widow of a naval
officer. She is in reduced circumstances, but
of irreproachable connections. She has the accomplishments
of a lady of her class, and her companionship should
be an inestimable blessing to you. You will be
governed by her authority. She will be here to-morrow.”
“A olé widder woman!
Good Lord! I ” here she stopped,
and gulped. An expression of resignation came
over her countenance. “Oh, all right.
You’ve done it an’ I’ll make the
best of it,” she finished, not too graciously.
“It is not proper to refer to
a lady as ’a olé widder woman’.”
“Well, but ain’t she?”
And she asked: “What else you know about
her?”
“Mr. Vandervelde attended to
the matter,” he repeated. “He is
thoroughly satisfied, and that is enough for me and
for you. I sent for you to inform you that she
is to be here to-morrow. See that you receive
her pleasantly. Your hours of study and recreation
will be arranged by her. She will also overlook
your wardrobe. And, I do not wish to hear any
complaints.”
“I can’t even pick out my own clothes?”
“You lack even the rudiments of good taste.”
“What’s wrong with my clothes?”
she demanded.
“Everything,” said he,
succinctly, and with visible irritation. He remembered
the wedding-gown, and his face twitched. She watched
him intently.
“Oh, all right. I said
I’d obey, an’ I will. I ain’t
forgettin’,” said she, wearily.
“Very well. I am glad you
understand.” He closed his eyes, and understanding
that the interview was at an end, Nancy withdrew.
Mrs. MacGregor arrived on the morrow.
The attorney had been given explicit orders and instructions
by his exacting client, who had his own notions of
what a teacher for his niece should and shouldn’t
be. Vandervelde congratulated himself on having
been able to meet them so completely in the person
of the estimable Mrs. MacGregor.
Mr. Champneys demanded a lady middle-aged
but not too middle-aged, not overly handsome, but
not overly otherwise; an excellent disciplinarian,
of a good family, and with impeccable references.
For the rest, Mrs. MacGregor was a
tall, spare, high-nosed lady, with a thin-lipped mouth
full of large, sound teeth of a yellowish tinge, and
high cheek-bones with a permanent splash of red on
them. Her eyes were frosty, and her light hair
was frizzled in front, and worn high on her narrow
head. She dressed in plain black silk of good
quality, wore her watch at her waist, and on her wrist
a large, old-fashioned bracelet in which was set a
glass-covered, lozenge-shaped receptable holding what
looked like a wisp of bristles, but which was a bit
of the late Captain MacGregor’s hair.
Mr. Champneys had wanted a lady who
was a church member. He had a vague idea that
if a lady happened to be a church member you were
somehow or other protected against her. Mrs. MacGregor
was orthodox enough to satisfy the most rigid religionist.
Mr. Champneys gathered that she believed in God the
father, God the son, and God the Holy Ghost, three
in One, and that One a dependable gentleman beautifully
British, who dutifully protected the king, fraternally
respected the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Prime
Minister, and was heartily in favor of the British
Constitution. Naturally, being a devout woman,
she agreed with Deity.
An American family domiciled for a
while in England had secured her services as companion
to an elderly aunt of theirs, fetching her along with
them, on their return to America. The aunt had
been a family torment until the advent of Mrs. MacGregor,
but in the hands of that disciplinarian she had become
a mild-mannered old body. On her demise the grateful
family settled a small annuity upon her whom they
couldn’t help recognizing as their benefactor.
Finding Americans so grateful, Mrs. MacGregor decided
to remain among them and with her recommendations
secure another position of trust in some wealthy family.
This, then, was the teacher selected by Mr. Jason
Vandervelde, who thought her just what Mr. Champneys
wanted and his ward probably needed.
Mrs. MacGregor never really liked
anybody, but she could respect certain persons highly;
she respected Mr. Chadwick Champneys at sight.
His name, his appearance, the fact that Jason Vandervelde
was acting for him, convinced her that he was “quite
the right sort” for an American.
She was as gracious to him as nature permitted her
to be to anybody. And the salary was very good
indeed.
It was only when Nancy put in her
appearance that Mrs. MacGregor’s satisfaction
withered around the edges. The red on her high
cheeks deepened, and she fixed upon her new pupil
a cold, appraising stare. She made no slightest
attempt to ingratiate herself; that wasn’t her
way; what she demanded, she often said, was Respect.
The impossible young person who was staring back at
her with hostile curiosity wasn’t overcome with
Respect. The two did not love each other.
Strict disciplinarian though she might
be where others were concerned, Mrs. MacGregor treated
herself with lenient consideration. She was selfish
with a fine, Christian zeal that moved Nancy to admiring
wonder. Nancy’s own selfishness had been
superimposed upon her by untoward circumstances.
This woman’s selfishness was a part of her nature,
carefully cultivated. She believed her body to
be the temple of the Holy Ghost, and she made herself
exceedingly comfortable in the building, quite as if
the Holy Ghost were an obliging absentee landlord.
Nancy observed, too, that although the servants did
not like her, they obeyed her without question.
She got without noise what she wanted.
But she really could teach. Almost
from the first lesson, Nancy began to learn, the pure
hatred she felt for her instructress adding rather
than detracting from her progress. Had the woman
been broader, of a finer nature, she might have failed
here; but being what she was, immovable, hard as nails,
narrow and prejudiced, sticking relentlessly to the
obviously essential, she goaded and stung the girl
into habits of study.
Her reaction to Mrs. MacGregor really
pushed her forward. She knew that the woman could
never overcome a secret sense of amaze that such a
person as herself should be a member of Chadwick Champneys’s
family the man was a gentleman, you
see. And she called Nancy “Anne.”
Her lifted eyebrows at Nancy’s English, her shocked,
patient, parrot-like, “Not ‘seen him when
he done it,’ please. You saw
him when he did it! No, ‘I
come in the house’ isn’t correct.
Try to remember that well-bred persons use the
past tense of the verb; thus: ’I came
into the house.’ What do I
hear, Anne? You ’taken’ it?
No! You TOOK it!” And she would look at
Nancy like a scandalized martyr, ready to die for the
noble cause of English grammar! Rather than endure
that look, rather than face those uplifted eyebrows,
Nancy, gritting her teeth, set herself seriously to
the task of making over her method of speech.
It was Mrs. MacGregor who, discovering
the girl’s unstinted allowance of candy, cut
off the supply. She didn’t care much for
candies herself, but she did like fruit, and fruit
was substituted for the forbidden sweets. She
had the healthy, wholesome English habit of walking,
and unless the weather was impossible she forced her
unwilling charge to take long tramps with her, generally
immediately after breakfast. They would set out,
Nancy dressed in a plain blue serge, her pretty, high-heeled
pumps discarded for flat-heeled walking-shoes, Mrs.
MacGregor flat-footed also, tall, bony, in a singular
bonnet, but nevertheless retaining an inherent stateliness
which won respect. Sometimes they tramped up Riverside
Drive, their objective being Grant’s tomb.
Mrs. MacGregor respected Grant; and the stands of
dusty flags brought certain old British shrines to
her mind. On stated mornings they visited the
Library, while Mrs. MacGregor selected the books Nancy
was to read, books that Nancy looked at askance.
They had their mornings for the museums, too.
Mrs. MacGregor knew nothing of art, except that, as
she said to Nancy, well-bred persons simply had
to know something about it. After their walk
came lessons, grueling, dry-as-dust, nose-to-the-grindstone
lessons, during which Nancy’s speech was vivisected.
At two o’clock they lunched, and Nancy had further
critical instructions. The dishes she had once
been allowed to order were changed, greatly to her
annoyance; Mrs. MacGregor liked such honest stuff
as mutton chops and potatoes, just as she insisted
upon oatmeal for breakfast. Porridge, she called
it. In the afternoon they motored; Mrs. MacGregor,
who detested speed, became the bane of the hard-faced
chauffeur’s life.
They dined at seven, and for an hour
thereafter Mrs. MacGregor either read aloud from some
book intended to edify the young person, or forced
Nancy to do so. She was possibly the only person
alive who delighted in Hannah More. She said,
modestly, that at an early age she had been taught
to revere this paragon, and whatever happy knowledge
of the virtues proper to the female state she possessed,
she owed in a large measure to that model writer.
Nancy conceived for Hannah More a hatred equaled in
intensity only by that cherished for Mrs. MacGregor
herself.
Mrs. MacGregor’s notions of
dress and her own were asunder, even as the poles.
But here again that rigid duenna did her invaluable
service, for if she didn’t look handsome in the
clothes selected for her, she didn’t, as that
lady said frankly, look vulgar in them. No longer
would you be liable to mistake her for somebody’s
second-rate housemaid on her day out. The simple
diet and the inexorable regularity of her hours also
told in her favor, although she herself wasn’t
as yet aware of the change taking place. Already
you could tell that hers was a supple and shapely young
body, with promise of a magnificent maturity; you
glimpsed behind the fading freckles a skin like a
water-lily for creamy whiteness; and that red hair
of hers, worn without frizzings, began to take on a
glossy, coppery luster.
That spring they moved into the new
house. It was so different from the average newly-rich
American home that it moved even Mrs. MacGregor to
praise. Nancy thought it rather bare. It
hadn’t color enough, and there were but few
pictures. Yet the old rosewood and mahogany furniture
pleased her. She remembered that golden-oak,
red-plush parlor at Baxter’s with a sort of wonder.
Why! she had thought that parlor handsome! And
now she was beginning to understand how hideous it
had been.
She saw little of Mr. Champneys, who
seemed to be plunged to the eyes in business.
Occasionally he appeared, looked at her searchingly,
said a few words to her and Mrs. MacGregor, and vanished
for another indefinite period. Mr. Jason Vandervelde
was almost a daily visitor when Mr. Champneys happened
to be in the city. At times Mr. Champneys went
away, presumably to look after business interests,
and Nancy thought that at such times the lawyer accompanied
him. She had no friends of her own age, and Mrs.
MacGregor wasn’t, to say the least, companionable.
And the books she was compelled to read bored her
to distraction. She took it for granted they
must be frightfully good, they were so frightfully
dull! The deadliest, dullest of all seemed to
be reserved for Sunday. She didn’t mind
going to church; in church you could watch other people,
even though Mrs. MacGregor sat rigidly erect by your
side, and expected you to be able to find your place
in a Book of Common Prayer entirely unfamiliar to
you. While she sat rapt during what you thought
an unnecessarily long sermon, you could look about
you slyly, and take note of the people within your
immediate radius.
Nancy liked to observe the younger
people. Sometimes a bitter envy would almost
choke her when she regarded some girl who was both
pretty and prettily dressed, and, apparently, care-free
and happy. She watched the younger men stealthily.
Some of them pleased her; she would have liked to
be admired by at least one of them, and she felt jealous
of the fortunate young women singled out for their
attentions. Think of being pretty, and having
beautiful clothes, and swell fellows like that in
love with you! That any one of these fine young
men should cast a glance in her own direction never
entered her mind. No. Loveliness and the
affection and gaiety of youth were for others; for
her Peter Champneys. At that she fetched
a deep sigh. She always went home from church
silent and subdued. Mrs. MacGregor thought this
a proper attitude of mind for the Sabbath.
The girl was vaguely disturbed and
uneasy without knowing why. The newness and glamour
of the possession of creature comforts, the absence
of want, was wearing thin in spots. She was conscious
of a lack. She was beginning to think and to
question, and as there was no one in whom she might
confide, she turned inward. Naturally, she couldn’t
answer her own questions, and all her thoughts were
as yet chaotic and confused. She wanted well,
what did she want, anyhow? She repeated to herself,
“I want something different!” That something
different should not include a dreary round of Mrs.
MacGregor, a cold inspection by Mr. Chadwick Champneys;
nor the thought of Peter Champneys. It would
include laughter and and people who were
neither teachers nor guardians, but who were gay,
and young, and kind. She began to be conscious
of her own isolation. She had always been isolated.
Once poverty had done it; and now money was doing
it. Those girls she saw at church she’d
bet they went to parties, had loads of friends, had
a good time, were loved; plenty of people wanted their
love. For herself, as far back as she could look,
she had never had a friend. Who cared for her
love? Sometimes she watched the new maid, a distractingly
pretty little Irish girl, black-haired, blue-eyed,
rosy-faced. The girl tried to be demure, to restrain
the laughter that was always near the surface; but
her eyes danced, her cheek dimpled, she had what one
might call a smiling voice. And the handsome young
policeman on the corner was acutely aware of her.
Nancy remembered one afternoon when she and Mrs. MacGregor
happened to be coming in at the same time with Molly.
It was Molly’s afternoon off and she was dressed
trimly, and with taste. Under her little close-fitting
hat her hair was like black satin, her face like a
rose. The young policeman managed to pass the
house at that moment, and lifted his cap to her; Nancy
saw the look in the young man’s eyes. She
followed Mrs. MacGregor into the house, rebelliously.
Nobody had ever looked at her like that.
Nobody was ever going to look at her like that.
She remembered Peter Champneys’s eyes when they
had first met hers. A dull flush stained her
face, and bitterness overwhelmed her.
Mr. Champneys was busy; Mrs. MacGregor
was satisfied she had a position of authority;
her creature comforts were exquisitely attended to;
her salary was ample. The man saw his plans being
carried forward, if not brilliantly at least creditably;
the woman saw that her tasks were fulfilled.
It never occurred to either that the girl might or
should ask for more than she received, or that she
might find her days dull. But Nancy was discovering
that the body is more than raiment, and that one does
not live by bread alone.