After the first moment of panic, Bart
realized Montano could not tell him from a Lhari.
He remained motionless. “It’s me,
Montano Bart Steele.”
The man lowered the weapon and put
it away. “You nearly got yourself cut down,”
he said. “Did you make it all right?”
He crossed behind Bart, inspecting the fastenings
of the bunker.
“It’s just luck I didn’t
shoot you first and ask questions afterward.”
Montano drew a deep breath and sat down on the concrete
floor. “Anyway, we’re safe in here.
We’ve got about half an hour before the radiation
will reach lethal intensity. It has a very short
half-life, though; only about twelve minutes.
If we spend an hour in here, we’ll be safe enough.
Did you have any trouble putting the radiation counter
out of commission?”
So in half an hour they would all
be dead. Ringg, Rugel, Captain Vorongil.
Two dozen Lhari, all dead so that Montano could have
a Lhari ship to play with.
And what then? More killing,
more murder? Would Montano start killing everyone
who tried to get the secret of the drive from him?
The Lhari had the star-drive; maybe it belonged to
them, maybe not. Maybe humans had a right to
have it, too. But this wasn’t the right
way. Maybe they didn’t deserve it.
He turned to look at Montano.
The man was leaning back, whistling softly through
his teeth. He felt like telling Montano that he
couldn’t go through with it. He started
to speak, then stopped, his blood icing over.
If I try to argue with him, I’ll
never get out of here alive. It means too much
to him.
Do I just salve my conscience with
that then? Sit here and let them die?
With a shock of remembrance, it came
to Bart that he had a weapon. He was armed, this
time, with the energon-beam that was part of his uniform.
Montano had evidently forgotten it. Could he
kill Montano? Even to save two dozen Lhari?
He reached hesitantly toward the beam-gun,
quickly thumbed the catch down to the lowest point,
which was simple shock. He froze as Montano looked
in his direction, hand out of sight under his cloak.
“How many Lhari on board?”
“Twenty-three, and three Mentorians.”
“Anyone apt to be behind shielding say,
in the drive chamber?”
“No, I think they’re all outside.”
Montano nodded, idly. “Then we won’t
have to worry.”
Bart slipped his hand toward his weapon.
Montano saw the movement, cocked his head in question;
then, as understanding flashed over his face, his
hand darted to his own gun. But Bart had pressed
the charge of his, and Montano slumped over without
a cry. He looked so limp that Bart gasped.
Was he dead? Hastily he fumbled the lax hand for
a pulse. After a long, endless moment he saw
Montano’s chest twitch and knew the man was
breathing.
Well, Montano would be safe here in the bunker.
Hastily, Bart looked at his timepiece. Half an hour before the radiation
was lethal for
the Lhari. Was it already, for him?
Shakily, he unfastened the door. He ran out into
the glare, seeing as he ran that his badge was tinged
with an ever-darkening, gold, orange....
Montano had said there was a safety
margin, but maybe he was wrong, maybe all Bart would
accomplish would be his own death! He ran back
along the line of bunkers, his heart pounding with
his racing feet. Two crewmen came along the line,
young white-crested Lhari from the other watch.
He gasped, “Where is the captain?”
“Down that way what’s
wrong, Bartol?” But Bart was gone, his muscles
aching with the unaccustomed effort inside gravity.
Putting on speed, he saw the tall, austere shape of
Vorongil, his banded cloak dark against the glaring
light. Vorongil turned, startled, at the sound
of his running feet.
Suddenly, Bart realized that he was
still holding his energon-ray. In shock and revulsion,
he dropped it at Vorongil’s feet.
“Captain, go warn the men!
They’ll all be dead in half an hour! There
are lethal radiations
“What? Are you sunstruck?”
Bart stopped cold. Never once
had it crossed his mind what he would say to Vorongil
or how he would make the captain believe his story,
without revealing Montano. He started to hold
up his badge, realized the Lhari captain could not
see color, and dropped it again, while Vorongil bent
over to pick up the fallen gun. “Are you
sunstruck or mad, Bartol? What’s this babble?”
“Captain, everybody on the Swiftwing
“And speak Lhari!” Vorongil
demanded, and Bart realized that in his excitement
he had been shouting in Universal. He drew a long,
deep breath.
“Captain, there are lethal radiations
being released here,” he said. “You
have just barely half an hour to gather all the men
and get them behind shielding.”
“The radiation counter is out
of order,” Vorongil remarked, unruffled.
“How can you possibly know
Bart stood in despair. Could
he say, A ship has landed here? Could he say,
Check that bunker? Even if Montano was a would-be
murderer, he was human, and Bart could not betray
him to the Lhari. There had been too much betrayal.
His voice rose in sudden hysteria.
“Captain, there’s no time!
I tell you, you’ll all be dead if you don’t
believe me! Get the men into the ship! Get
them behind shielding and then check my story!
I’m not ” he had gone this far,
he might as well go the whole way I’m
not a Lhari!”
"What?"
One of the crewmen came dashing up,
his crest sweat-streaked. “Captain!
Rugel has collapsed! We don’t know what’s
wrong with him.”
“Radiation sickness,”
said Bart, and Vorongil reached out, catching his
shoulder in a cruel taloned grip. Bart said desperately
“I’m not a Lhari! I signed on in
disguise I knew they meant to take the ship,
but I can’t let you all die.
“How can I make you believe
me? Here ” In desperation, Bart
reached up. Pain stabbed his eyeballs, fierce,
blinding, as he pulled out one of the contact lenses.
He could not see the captain’s face through the
light, but suddenly two Lhari were holding his arms.
The fear of death was on Bart, but it no longer mattered.
He saw through watering eyes the ever-deepening orange
of the badge disappearing.
“Here,” he said, tearing
at it, “radiation. You must be able to see
how dark it is. Even if it’s just darkness....”
Suddenly Vorongil was shouting, but
Bart could not hear. Two men were dragging him
along. They hustled him up the ramp of the ship.
He could see again, but his eyes were blurred, and
he felt sick, colors spinning before his eyes, a nauseated
ringing in his head.
At first he thought it was his ears
ringing; then he made out the rising, shrieking wail
and fall of the emergency siren, steps running, shouting
voices, the slow clang of the doors. Someone was
pushing at him, babbling words in Lhari, but he heard
them through an ever-increasing distance: Vorongil’s
face bent over his, only a blurred crimson blob that
flashed away like a vanishing star in the viewport.
It flamed out into green darkness, vanished, and Bart
fell through what seemed to be a bottomless chasm
of starless night.
When he woke, acceleration had its
crushing hand on his chest. He tried to move,
discovered that he was strapped hard into a bunk, and
fainted again.
Suddenly the pressure was gone and
he was lying at ease on the smooth sheets of a hospital
bunk. His eyes were covered with a light bandage,
and there was a sharp pain in his left arm. He
tried to move it and found it was tied down.
“I think he’s coming round,” said
Vorongil’s voice.
“Yes, and a lot too soon for
me,” said a bitter voice which Bart recognized
as that of the ship’s medic. “Freak!”
“Listen, Baldy,” said
Vorongil, “whoever he is, he could have been
blinded or killed. You wouldn’t be alive
now if it wasn’t for that freak, as you
call him. Bartol, can you hear me? How much
light can your eyes stand?”
“As much as any Mentorian.”
Bart found he could move his right arm, and twitched
the bandage away. Vorongil and the medic stood
over him; in the other infirmary bunk a form was lying,
covered with a white sheet. Sickly, Bart wondered
if they had found Montano. Vorongil followed the
direction of his eyes.
“Yes,” he said, and his
voice held deep bitterness, “poor old Rugel is
dead. He didn’t get much of the radiation,
but his heart wouldn’t stand it, and gave out.”
He bowed his head. “He was bald in the service
of the ships when my crest was new-sprouted,”
he said in deep grief.
Bart felt the shock of that, even
through his own fear. He looked down at his left
arm. It was strapped to a splint, and fluid was
dripping slowly into the vein there.
Vorongil nodded. “I expect
you feel pretty sick. You got a good dose of
radiation yourself, but we’ve given you a couple
of transfusions one of the Mentorians matched
your blood type, fortunately. It was a close
call.”
The medic was looking down in ill-disguised
curiosity. “Fantastic,” he said.
“I don’t suppose you’d tell me who
changed your looks. I admit I wouldn’t
believe it until I had a look at your foot bones under
the fluoroscope.”
Vorongil said quietly, “Bartol I
don’t suppose that’s your real name why
did you do it?”
“I couldn’t see you all
die, sir,” Bart said, not expecting them to
believe him. “No more than that.”
The medic said roughly in Lhari, “It’s
a trick, sir, no more. A trick to make us trust
him!”
“Why would he risk his own life
then?” Vorongil asked. “No, it’s
more than that.” He hesitated. “We
checked the bunkers in radiation suits before
we took off. We found a man in one of them.”
“Was he dead?” Bart whispered.
“No,” Vorongil said quietly.
“Thank God!” It was a
heartfelt explosion. Then, apprehensively, “Or
did you kill him?”
“What do you think we are?”
Vorongil said incredulously. “Indeed no.
His own men have probably found him by now. I
don’t imagine he got half as much radiation
as you did.”
Bart surveyed the needle in his arm.
“Why are you taking all this trouble if I’m
going to be put out of the way?”
“You must have some funny ideas
about us,” Vorongil said shaking his head.
“That would be a fine way to reward you for saving
all of our lives. No, you’re not going
to be killed.”
“If I had my way ”
the old medic began, and suddenly Vorongil flew into
a rage. “Get out!”
The medic went stiffly through the
door, and Vorongil stood gazing down at Bart, shaking
his yellowed crest. “I don’t know
what to say to you. It was a brave thing you
did, but perhaps no braver than you’ve done all
along. Are you a Mentorian?”
“Only half.”
“Strange,” Vorongil said,
looking into space, “that I could talk to you
as I did by the monument, and you knew what I meant.
But, yes, you would understand.” Abruptly,
he recalled himself, and his voice was thin and cold.
“I haven’t quite decided
what to do. I haven’t spoken of this to
the crew yet; the fewer who know about this, the better.
I told them you got a heavy dose of radiation, and
you’re too sick to see visitors.”
He sounded kinder when he said, “It’s
true, you know. It won’t hurt you to get
your strength back.”
He went out, and Bart wondered, Get
my strength back for what? He lay back, feeling
weaker than he realized. It was a relief to know
he wasn’t going to be killed out of hand.
And somehow he didn’t believe he was going to
be killed at all.
It wasn’t like being a prisoner.
The medic brought him plenty of food, urging him to
eat “You need plenty of protein after
radiation burns” and if he stayed
in the bunk, it was only because he felt too weak
to get up. Actually he was suffering from delayed
emotional shock, as well as from radiation. He
was content to let things drift.
Inevitably, the time came when he
had to think about what he had done. He had betrayed
Montano, he had been false to the men who sent him.
“But they don’t know the
Lhari,” his conscience replied, justifying what
he had done.
You sided with the Lhari against
your own people. You spoilt our chances of learning
about the Lhari fuel catalyst.
“I’ve done something better
than stealing a secret by stealth. I’ve
proved that humans and Lhari can communicate, that
they can trust each other. It’s only their
looks that are strange. A kind, generous man is
a kind generous man, whether his name is Raynor Three
or Vorongil.”
But who’s going to know it?
“I know it. And truth comes
out, sooner or later. Somehow, a better understanding
between man and Lhari will come from this.”
Secure in the knowledge, he turned
over and went peacefully to sleep.
When he woke again, he felt better.
The Mentorian girl, Meta, was sitting quietly between
the bunks, watching him. He started to turn over,
flinched at the pain in his arm.
“Yes,” she said, “we’re
giving you one last transfusion. Plasma, this
time. It’s Lhari, but if you know that much,
you know it won’t hurt you.” She
came and inspected the needle in his wrist, and Bart
caught her hand with his free one. “Meta,
does anyone else know?”
She looked down with a troubled smile.
“I don’t think so. I was off watch,
waiting for cold-sleep we’re just
about to make the long jump when Vorongil
came to my quarters. I was startled almost out
of my wits. He asked if I could keep a secret;
then he told me about you. Oh, Bart!” Her
small soft hand closed convulsively on his, “I
was so afraid! I knew they wouldn’t kill
you, but I was afraid!”
Yet they had killed David Briscoe,
Bart thought, and hunted down two of his friends.
It was the only thing he couldn’t square with
his perception of the Lhari. It didn’t
fit. He could understand that they had shot down
the robotcab with Edmund Briscoe in it, in pure self-defense;
and that knowledge had taken off the edge of the horror.
But the death of young Briscoe and everyone he had
talked to could not be explained away.
“You seem very sure they wouldn’t
have killed me, Meta,” he said, carefully clasping
his hand around hers.
“They wouldn’t,”
she affirmed. “But they could make
you forget
A small chill went over Bart.
He let go of her hand and lay staring bleakly at the
wall. He supposed that was his probable fate:
remembering the tragic tone of Raynor Three when he
said I won’t remember you, he gritted
his teeth, feeling his face twist convulsively.
Meta, watching, misunderstood.
“Arm hurting? I’ll
have that needle out of your vein in a few minutes
now.”
When she had freed his arm and put
away the apparatus, she came to his side. “Bart,
how did it happen? How did they find you out?”
Suddenly, the longing for human contact
was too much for Bart, and the knowledge of his secret
intolerable. The Lhari could find out what he
knew, if they wanted to know, very simply; he was in
their power. It didn’t matter any more.
The telling of the story took a long
time, and when he finished, Meta’s soft small
kitten-face was compassionate.
“I’m glad you decided
what you did,” she whispered. “It’s
what a Mentorian would have done. I know that
other races call us slaves of the Lhari.
We aren’t. We’re working in our own
way to show the Lhari that human beings can be trusted.
The other peoples they hold away from the
Lhari, fighting them with words even though they’re
afraid to fight them with weapons, carrying on the
war that they’re afraid to fight!
“Did it ever occur to you all
the peoples of all the planets keep saying, We’re
as good as the Lhari, but only the Mentorians are
willing to prove it? Bart, a Lhari ship can’t
get along in our galaxy without Mentorians any more!
It may be slower than trying to take the warp-drive
by force, or stealing it by spying, but when we learn
to endure it, I have faith that we’ll get it!”
Bart, although moved by Meta’s
philosophy, couldn’t quite share it. It
still seemed to him that the Mentorians were lacking
in something independence, maybe, or drive.
“I wasn’t thinking about
anything like that,” he said honestly. “It
was simply that I couldn’t let them die.
After all ” he was speaking more
to himself than to the girl “it’s
their star-drive. They found it.
And they’ve given us star-trade, and star-travel,
cheaply and with profit to both sides. I hope
we’ll get the star-drive someday. But if
we got it by mass murder, it would sow the seeds of
a hatred between men and Lhari that would never end.
It wouldn’t be worth it, Meta. Nothing
would be worth that. We’ve got enough hate
already.”
Bart was still in his bunk, but beginning
to fret at staying there, when the familiar trembling
of Acceleration Two started to run through the ship.
It was, by now, so familiar to him that he hardly gave
it a second thought, but Meta panicked.
“What’s happening?
Bart, what is it? Why are we under acceleration
again?”
“Shift to warp,” he said
without thinking, and her face went deathly white.
“So that’s it,” she whispered.
“Vorongil no wonder he wasn’t
worried about what I would find out from you or what
you knew.” She drew herself together in
her chair, a miserable, shrunken, terrified little
figure, bravely trying to control her terror.
Then she held out her hands to Bart.
“I’m I’m ashamed,”
she whispered. “When you’ve been
so brave, I shouldn’t be afraid to die.”
“Meta, what’s the matter?
What are you afraid of?” It suddenly swept over
Bart what she meant and what she feared. “But
don’t you understand, Meta?” he exclaimed,
“Humans can live through the warp-drive!
No drugs, no cold-sleep Meta, I’ve
done it dozens of times!”
"But you’re a Lhari!"
It burst from her, uncontrollable. She stopped,
looked at him in consternation. He smiled, bitterly.
“No, Meta, they didn’t
do a thing to my internal organs, to my brain, to
the tissues of my body. Just a little plastic
surgery on my hands, my feet and my face. Meta,
there’s nothing to be afraid of nothing,”
he repeated.
She twisted her small hands together.
“I’m trying to to
believe that,” she whispered, “but all
my life I’ve known
The screaming whine in the ship gripped
them with the strange, clawing lassitude and discomfort.
Bart, gasping under it, heard the girl moan, saw her
slump lax in her chair, half fainting. Her face
was so deathly white that he began seriously to be
afraid she would die of her fear. Fighting his
own agonizing weakness, he pulled himself upright.
He reached the girl, dug his claws cruelly into her.
“Girl, get hold of yourself!
Fight it! Fight it! The more scared you
are, the worse it’s going to be!”
She was rigid, trembling, in a trance of terror.
“You rotten little coward,”
he yelled at her, “snap out of it! Or are
all you Mentorians so gutless that you believe any
half-baked folk tale the Lhari pass off on you?
You and your fine talk about earning the star-drive!
What would you do with it after you got it if
you die of fear when you try?”
“Oh! You !”
She flung her head back, her eyes blazing with rage.
“Anything you can do, I can do, too!” He
saw life flowing back into her face, and the trembling
now was with fury, not fear; she was fighting the
pain, the crawling itch in her nerve ends, the terrible
sense of draining disorganization.
Bart felt his hold on himself breaking.
He whispered hoarsely, “That’s the girl don’t
be scared if I black out for a minute.”
He held on to consciousness with his last courage,
afraid if he fainted, the girl would collapse again.
She reached for him, and Bart, starved
for some human touch, drew her into his arms.
They clung together, and he felt her wet face against
his own, the softness of her trembling hands.
She was still crying a little. Then the blackness
closed on him, as if endless, and the gray blur of
warp-drive peak blotted his brain into nothingness.
He came out of it to feel her cheek
soft against his, her head trustfully on his shoulder.
He said huskily, “All right, Meta?”
“I’m fine,” she
murmured, shakily. He tightened his hands a little,
realizing that for the first time in months he had
physically forgotten his Lhari disguise, that Meta
had given him this priceless reassurance that he was
human. But, as if suddenly aware of it again,
she looked up at him and drew hesitantly away.
“Don’t Meta,
am I so horrible to you then? So repulsive?”
“No, it’s only ”
she bit her lip “it’s just that
the Lhari are I can’t quite explain
it.”
“Different,” Bart finished
for her. “At first I was repelled physically
repelled by myself, and by them. It was like living
among weird animals, and being one of the animals.
And then, one day, Ringg was just another kid.
He had gray skin and long claws and white hair, just
the way I once had pinkish skin and short fingernails
and reddish hair, but the difference wasn’t
that I was human inside and he wasn’t. If
you skinned Ringg, and skinned me, we’d be almost
identical. And all of a sudden then, Ringg and
Vorongil and all the rest were men to me. Just
people. I thought you Mentorians, after living
with the Lhari all these years, would feel that.”
She said in slow wonder, “We’ve
lived and worked side by side with them all these
years, yet kept so apart! I’ve defended
the Lhari to you, yet it took you to explain them
to me!”
His arm was still round her, her head
still lying on his shoulder. Bart was just beginning
to wonder if he might kiss her when the infirmary
door opened and Ringg stood in the doorway, staring
at them with surprise, shock and revulsion. Bart
realized, suddenly, how it must look to Ringg who
certainly shared Meta’s prejudice but
even as he comprehended it, Ringg’s face altered.
Meta slipped from Bart’s arms and rose, but
Ringg came slowly a step into the room.
“I remembered you
had a bad reaction, to warp-drive,” he said.
“I came to see if you were all right. I
would never have believed but I’m
beginning to guess. There was always something
about you, Bartol.” He shut the door behind
him and stood against it. His voice lowered almost
to a whisper, he said, “You’re not Lhari,
are you?”
“Vorongil knows,” Bart said.
Ringg nodded. “That day
on Lharillis. The crew was talking, but only one
or two of them really know what happened.
There are a dozen rumors. I wanted to see you.
They said you were sick with radiation burns
“I was.”
Ringg raised his hand, absently, to
the still-puckered mark on his cheek, saw Bart watching
him and smiled.
“You’re not worrying about
that fight? Forget it, friend. If anything,
I admire someone who can use his claws especially
if, as I begin to suspect, they’re not his.”
He leaned over, his hand lightly on Bart’s shoulder.
“I don’t forget so easily. You saved
my life, remember? And you’re a hero on
the ship for warning us all. Are you really human?
Why not get rid of the disguise?”
Bart laughed wryly. “It
won’t come off,” he said, and explained.
Ringg raised his hands to his own
face curiously. “I wonder what sort of
human I’d make?” He looked at Meta’s
small fingers. “Not that I’d ever
have the nerve. But then, it’s no surprise
to anyone that you have courage, Bartol.”
“You seem to accept it
“It’s a shock,”
said Ringg honestly, “it scares me a little.
But I’m remembering the friendship. That
was real. As far as I’m concerned, it still
is real.”