Ringg was still bending over Meta’s
hand when Vorongil came into the cabin. He started
to speak, then noticed Ringg. “I might have
known,” he growled, “if there was anything
to find out, you’d find it.”
“Shall I go, rieko mori?”
“No, stay. You’ll
find it out some way or other, you might as well get
it right the first time. But first of all are
you all right, Meta?”
Her chin went up, defiantly.
“Yes. And why have you lied to us all these
years all of you?”
Vorongil looked mildly startled.
“It wasn’t exactly a lie. Nine out
of ten Lhari captains believe it with all their heart that
humans die in warp-drive. I wasn’t sure
myself until I heard the debates in Council City,
last year.”
“But why?”
Vorongil sighed. His eyes rested
disconcertingly on Bart. “I presume you
know human history,” he said, “better than
I do. The Lhari have never had a war, in all
written history. Quite frankly, you terrified
us. It was decided, on the highest summit levels,
that we wouldn’t give humans too many chances
to find out things we preferred to keep to ourselves.
The first few ships to carry Mentorians had carried
them without cold-sleep, but people forget easily.
The truth is buried in the records of those early
voyages.
“As the Mentorians grew more
important to us, we began to regret the policy, but
by that time the Mentorians themselves believed it
so firmly that when we tried the experiment of carrying
them through the shift into warp-drive, they died
of fear pure suggestion. I tried it
with you, Meta, because I knew Bart’s presence
would reassure you. The others were given an
inert sedative they believed to be the cold-sleep drug.
How are you feeling, Bart?”
“Fine but wondering what’s
going to happen.”
“You won’t be hurt,”
Vorongil said, quickly. Then: “You
don’t believe me, do you?”
“I don’t, sir. David
Briscoe did what I did, and he’s dead. So
are three other men.”
“Men do strange things from
fear men and Lhari. Your people, as
I said before, have a strange history. It scares
us. Can you guarantee that some, at least, of
your people wouldn’t try to come and take the
star-drive by force? We left a man on Lharillis
who thought nothing of killing twenty-four of us.
I suppose the captain of the Multiphase, knowing
he had gravely violated Lhari laws, knowing that Briscoe’s
report might touch off an intergalactic war between
men and Lhari well, I suppose he felt that
half a dozen deaths were better than half a million.
I’m not defending him. Just explaining,
maybe, why he did what he did.”
Bart lowered his eyes. He had no answer to that.
“No, you won’t be killed.
But that’s all I can guarantee. My personal
feelings have nothing to do with it. You’ll
have to go to Council Planet with us, and you’ll
have to be psych-checked there. That is Lhari
law and by treaty with your Federation,
it is human law, too. If you know anything dangerous
to us, we have a legal right to eliminate those memories
before you can be released.”
Meta smiled at him, encouragingly,
but Bart shivered. That was almost worse than
the thought of death.
And the fear grew more oppressive
as the ship forged onward toward the home world of
the Lhari. And it did not lessen when, after they
touched down, he was taken from the ship under guard.
He had only a glimpse, through dark
glasses, of the terrible brilliance of the Lhari sun
dazzling on crystal towers, before he was hustled into
a closed surface car. It whisked him away to a
building he did not see from the outside; he was taken
up by private elevator to a suite of rooms which might for
all he could tell have been a suite in a
luxury hotel or a lunatic asylum. The walls were
translucent, the furniture oddly colored, and so carefully
padded that even a homicidal or suicidal person could
not have hurt himself or anyone else on it or with
it.
Food reached him often enough so that
he never got hungry, but not often enough to keep
him from being bored between meals, or from brooding.
Two enormous Lhari came in to look at him every hour
or so, but either they were deaf and dumb, did not
understand his dialect of Lhari, or were under orders
not to speak to him. It was the most frustrating
time of his entire voyage.
One day it ended. A Lhari and
a Mentorian came for him and took him down elevators
and up stairs, and into a quiet, neutral room where
four Lhari were gathered. They sat him in a comfortable
chair, and the Mentorian interpreter said gently,
with apology:
“Bart Steele, I have been asked
to say to you that you will not be physically harmed
in any way. This will be much simpler, and will
have much less injurious effect on your mind if you
cooperate with us. At the same time, I have been
asked to remind you that resistance is absolutely
useless, and if you attempt it, you will only be treated
with force rather than with courtesy.”
Bart sat facing them, shaking with
humiliation. The thought of resistance flashed
through his mind. Maybe he should make them fight
for what they got! At least they’d see
that all humans weren’t like the Mentorians,
to sit quietly and let themselves be brainwashed without
a word of protest.
He started to spring up, and the hands
of his guards tightened, swift and strong, even before
his muscles had fully tightened. Bart’s
head dropped. Cold common sense doused over his
brave thoughts. He was uncountable millions of
light-years from his own people. He was absolutely
alone. Bravery would mean nothing; submission
would mean nothing. Would he be more of a man,
somehow, if he let his mind be wrecked?
“All right,” he muttered, “I won’t
fight.”
“You show your good sense,”
the Mentorian said quietly. “Give me your
left arm, please or, if you are left-handed,
your right. As you prefer.”
Deftly, almost painlessly, a needle
slid into his arm. Giving in. A dizzying welter
of thoughts spun suddenly in his mind. Briscoe.
Raynor One and Raynor Three. The net between
the stars. Ringg, Vorongil, Meta, his father....
Consciousness slid away.
Years later he never knew
whether it was memory or imagination it
seemed to him that he could reach into that patch of
gray and dreamless time and fish out questions and
answers whole, the faces of Lhari swelling up suddenly
in his eyes and shrinking back into interstellar distance,
the sting-smell of drugs, the sound of unexpected voices,
odd reflex pains, cobwebs of patchy memories that
fitted nowhere else into his life so that he supposed
they must go here.
He only knew that there was a time
he did not remember and then a time when he began
to think there was such a thing as memory, and then
a time when he floated without a body, and then another
time when the path of every separate nerve in his
body seemed to be outlined, a shimmering web in the
gray murk. There was a mirror and a face.
There were blotchy worms of light like the star-trails
of peaking warp-drive through the viewport, colors
shifting and receding, a green star, the red eye of
Antares.
Then the peak-point faded, his mind
began to decelerate and angle slowly down and down
into the field of awareness, and he became fuzzily
aware that he was lying full length on a sort of couch.
He shook his head groggily. It hurt. He
sat up. That hurt, too. A hand closed gently
around his elbow and he felt the cold edge of a cup
against his sore mouth.
“Take a sip of this.”
The liquid felt cool on his tongue,
evaporating almost before he could swallow; the fumes
seemed to mount inside the root of his nose, expanding
tremendously inside his head and brain. Abruptly
his head was clear, the last traces of gray fuzz gone.
“When you feel able,”
the Mentorian said courteously, “the High Council
will see you.”
Bart blinked. As if exploring
a sore tooth with his tongue, his mind sought for
memories, but they all seemed clear, marshaled in line.
The details, clear and unblurred, of his voyage here.
His humiliation and resentment against the Lhari.
They could have changed my thinking, my attitudes.
They could have made me admire or be loyal to the Lhari.
They didn’t. I’m still me.
“I’m ready now.”
He got up, reeled and had to lean on the Mentorian;
his feet did not seem to touch the ground in quite
the right way. After a minute he could walk steadily,
and followed the Mentorian along a corridor.
The Mentorian said into a small grille, “The
Vegan Bartol, alias Bart Steele,” and after
a moment a doorway opened.
Inside a room rose, high, domed, vaulted
above his head, whitish opalescent, washed with green.
For a moment, while his eyes adjusted to the light,
he wondered how the Lhari saw it.
Beyond an expanse of black, glassy
floor, he saw a low semicircular table, behind which
sat eight Lhari. All wore pale robes with high
collars that rose stiffly behind their domed heads;
all were old, their faces lined with many wrinkles,
and seven of the eight were as bald as the hull of
the Swiftwing. Under their eyes he hesitated;
then, unexpectedly, pride stiffened his back.
They should have done a better job
of brainwashing, if they expected him to skulk in
like a scared rabbit! He held his head high and
moved across the floor step by steady step, trying
not to limp or display that he felt tired or sore.
You’re human! Act proud of it!
No one moved until he stood before
the semicircle of ancients. Then the youngest,
the only one of the eight with some trace of feathery
crest on his high gray head, said “Captain Vorongil,
you identify this person?”
“I do,” Vorongil said,
and Bart saw him seated before the high Council.
To Bart, the Lhari captain seemed a familiar, almost
a friendly face.
“Well, Bart Steele, alias Bartol
son of Berihun,” said one old Lhari, “what
have you to say for yourself?”
Bart stood silent, not moving.
What could he say that would not reveal how desperately
alone, how young and foolish and frightened he felt?
All his brave resolutions seemed to drain away before
their old, gnomish faces. Here he’d been
thinking of himself as a brave spy, a gallant fighter
in humanity’s cause and what not. Now he
saw himself for what he was; a reckless boy, meddling
in affairs too big for him. He lowered his eyes.
“We have read the transcript
of your knowledge,” said the old Lhari.
“There is little in it that we do not know.
We are not, of course, concerned with human conspiracies
unless they endanger Lhari lives. The Antares
authorities will deal with the man Montano for an unauthorized
landing on Lharillis, in violation of Federation treaty.”
He smiled, his gnome’s face
breaking into a million tiny cracks like a piece of
gray-glazed pottery. “Bartol, or whatever
you call yourself, you are a brave young man.
I suppose you are afraid we will block your memories,
or your ability to speak of them?”
Bart nodded, gulping. Did the old Lhari read
his mind?
“A year ago we might have done
so. Captain Vorongil, you will be interested
to know that we have discussed this in Council, and
your recommendations have been taken. The secret
that humans can endure star-drive has outlived its
usefulness. For good or ill, it is secret no
longer. We cannot possibly eliminate all the old
records, or the enterprising people who hunt them
out.
“The captain who had David Briscoe
killed, under the mistaken notion that this would
excuse his own negligence in letting Briscoe stow away
on his ship, is undergoing psychotherapy and may eventually
recover.
“As for the rest Bart
Steele, you know nothing that is a danger to us.
You do not know the coordinates of our world, or even
in which galaxy it is located. You do not know
where we secure the catalyst your people seek.
In fact, you know nothing that is not soon to become
common knowledge. In view of that, we have decided
not to interfere with your memories.”
“Talk as much as you like,”
added another of the ancients, “and may your
memories of this voyage help in understanding between
the Lhari and other human races. Good fortune
to you.” And he was smiling.
“There is another side to this,”
said a third, more sternly and gravely. “You
have broken a treaty between Lhari and man. We
have dealt with you as the laws required; now your
own people must do so. You must return with the
Swiftwing to the planet where the violation
originated ” he consulted a memorandum “Procyon
Alpha. There you and the man Raynor Three will
face charges of unlawful conspiracy to board a Lhari
ship, in violation of Intergalactic Trade treaties.
Captain Vorongil, will you be responsible for him?”
So I’ve lost, Bart thought
drearily. I didn’t even learn anything important
enough for them to suppress. There was a strange
wounded pride in this; after all his trouble, he was
being treated like a little boy who has used a great
deal of enterprise and intelligence to rob a cookie
cupboard, and for his pains is sent home with the stolen
cookie in his hand.
Vorongil touched his arm. “Come,
Bartol,” he said gently, “I’m taking
you back to the Swiftwing. I don’t
have to treat you like a prisoner, do I?”
Numbly, Bart gave what the old Lhari
asked, his word of honor not to attempt escape (Escape?
Where to?) or to attempt to enter the drive chamber
of the Swiftwing while they were still among
the Lhari worlds.
As they left the council hall, Bart,
in a gesture of despair, covered his face with his
hands. As he brought them down, he found himself
staring at them, transfixed.
The fingers looked longer and thinner
than he remembered them, but they were his own hands
again. The nails seemed faintly thick and ridged,
and there was still a faint grayish tinge through
the pale flesh color, but they were human hands.
Unmistakably. He felt of his nose and ears, with
fumbling fingers; raised his hand and touched the very
short, crisp hair growing on his newly shaven skull.
“You fool,” said Vorongil
to the Mentorian, in disgust, “why didn’t
you tell him what the medics had done for him?
Easy, Bartol!” The old Lhari’s arm tightened
around his shoulder. “I thought they’d
told you. Somebody come here and give the youngster
a hand.”
Later, in the small cabin (it had
been Rugel’s) which was to be his prison during
the return voyage of the Swiftwing, he had a
chance to study his familiar-strange face. He
had thought that only a short time an hour
or so had elapsed between the time he was
drugged and the time they took him before the Council.
Later, from what he learned about the dispatch schedules
of the Swiftwing, he realized that he had been
kept under sedation for nearly three weeks, while his
face and hands healed.
As Raynor Three had warned, the change
was not altogether reversible. Studying his face
in the mirror, he could still see a hint of something
thin, strange, alien in the set of his features; the
nose and chin somewhat too pointed, elfin, to be human.
His hands would always be too long, too narrow, too
supple. For the rest, he looked grim, older.
He could never go back to what he had been before
he became a Lhari; it had left its mark on him forever.
Before the Swiftwing lifted,
outbound, Vorongil came to his cabin. “You’ve
seen very little of our world,” he said diffidently.
“I have permission for you to visit the city
before we leave Council Spaceport.”
“You think you can trust me?” Bart asked
bitterly.
Vorongil said gravely, without humor,
“The question does not arise. You do not
know the coordinates of this world, and have no way
of finding them. Within those limitations, you
are an honored guest here, and if it would give you
any pleasure, you are welcome to see as much of Council
Planet as time permits.”
It seemed, through Vorongil’s
kindness, that the old Lhari sensed his bitter defeat.
Nothing was to be gained by sulking in his cabin, a
prisoner. He had an opportunity which no human,
except the Mentorians, had ever had; which perhaps
no human would ever have again. He might as well
take advantage of it.
Ringg and Meta both seemed startled
at his new appearance, but Meta instantly held out
her hands, clasping his quickly and warmly. “Bart!
I wondered what your real face looked like. But
I think I’d have known you anyhow.”
Ringg surveyed him wonderingly, shaking
his head. “Say something,” he implored,
“so I’ll know you’re Bartol.”
Bart held out his arm, less gray by
the day as the drug wore out of his system. The
thin line of the scar was still on it. He raised
his forefinger lightly to the fine line on Ringg’s
cheek. “I couldn’t return that now.
So let’s not get into any more fights.”
Ringg laughed and gave him a rough,
affectionate shove. “You’re Bartol,
all right!”
Even his sense of defeat vanished
in wonder as they came out into the great spaceport.
He saw, now, that the Lhari spaceports in human worlds
were built to create, for the spacemen so far from
their native worlds, some feeling of home. But
everything here was so vast as to stagger the imagination.
There were miles and miles of the great ships, lying
strewn like pebbles on this monster beachhead into
space, bearing the strangeness of a million far-flung
stars. He gaped like a child.
Above them, the burning brilliance
of a star gave strange glow and color to the crystal
pylons. What color was the star? He turned
to Meta, irritated at his inability to be sure.
“Meta, what color is this sun?
I’ve been all around the spectrum, and it’s
not red, blue, green, orange, violet ”
He broke off, realizing what he had said and what
he had seen. “An eighth color,” he
finished, anticlimatically.
“You and your talk of colors,”
Ringg grumbled, “I wish I knew what you Mentorians
see! It’s like trying to imagine seeing
a smell or hearing light!”
Meta laughed. “As far as
I know, no one’s named it. Sometimes we
Mentorians call it catalyst color. I think
only Mentorians can see it as separate color.”
“So what?” Ringg said
impatiently, “What are we going to do, chatter
about light waves or see the city?”
Bart acquiesced, trying to sound eager,
but a wild excitement was gusting up in him.
He dutifully pretended fascination with the towers,
the many-leveled roads, the giant dams and pylons,
but his thoughts were racing.
The eighth color! There can’t
be too many suns of this color, or they’d have
named it and known it! And telescopes can find
it.
Could success be salvaged, then, at
the very edge of failure? Maybe he need not go
empty-handed, empty-eyed, from the Lhari worlds!
They had dismissed him, scornfully, stolen cookie
in hand but maybe it would be a bigger
cookie than they dreamed!
The exhilaration lasted through the
tour of the port, through the heavy surge of acceleration
which brought them up, out and way from Council Planet.
Bart, confined in Rugel’s cabin, hardly felt
like a prisoner, his mind busy with schemes.
I’ll study star-maps, and spectroscope reports....
It lasted almost two days of shiptime,
and they were readying for Acceleration Two, before
he came, figuratively, down to earth. To pick
one star out of trillions and not even in
his own galaxy? It would take a lifetime and
he didn’t even know which of the four or five
spiral nebulae in the skies of the human worlds was
the Lhari Galaxy. A lifetime? A hundred
lifetimes wouldn’t do it!
He might have known. If there
had been one chance in the odd billion of his making
any such discovery, the Lhari would never have given
Vorongil permission for the intruder to visit the
planet at all. He would have been returned to
the Swiftwing as he had been taken from it,
by closed car, and imprisoned, maybe even drugged,
until he was safely back in the human worlds again.
He was under parole not to enter the
drive chamber (and sure he would be stopped if he
attempted it anyhow), but when Acceleration One was
completed, he went to the viewport in the Recreation
Lounge, and nobody threw him out. He stood long,
looking at the unfamiliar galaxy of the Lhari stars;
the unknown, forever unknowable constellations with
their strange shapes. Stars green, gold, topaz,
burning blue, sullen red, and the great strangely
colored receding sun of the Lhari people, known to
them by the melodious name of the Ke Lhiro which
meant, simply, The Sun: it was their first
home.
Where had he seen that color?
In that stolen glimpse of the Lhari ship landing,
long ago? Of all the colors of space, this one
he would never know.
He turned away from the unsolvable
riddle of the strange constellations; and went to
his cabin, to dream of the green star Meristem where
he had first plotted known coordinates for a previously
unknown world, and to wander in baffling nightmares
where he fed jagged, star-colored pieces of hail into
the ship’s computer and watched them come out
as tiny paperdoll spaceships with the letterhead of
Eight Colors printed neatly across their sides.
After the warp-drive shift, Vorongil
came to his cabin, this time crisp and businesslike.
“We’re back in your galaxy,”
he said, “among the stars you know. We have
no passenger space on the Swiftwing; we had
to ship out without replacing Rugel, which means we’re
short two men. I’ve no authority to ask
this of you, but would you like your old
job back for the rest of the voyage?”
Bart glanced at his human hands.
Vorongil shrugged. “We’ve
carried Mentorians as full-ranking Astrogators.
There don’t happen to be any on the Swiftwing.
But there’s no law about it.”
Bart looked the old Lhari in the eye.
“I won’t accept Mentorian terms, Vorongil.”
“I wouldn’t ask it.
You worked your way outward on this run, and the High
Council didn’t see fit to erase those memories
or inhibit them. Why should I? Do you want
it or not?”
Did he want it? Until this moment
Bart had not identified the worst of his pain and
defeat to travel as a passenger, a supercargo,
when he had once been part of the Swiftwing.
Literally he ached to be back with it again.
“I do, rieko mori.”
“Very well,” Vorongil
rapped, “see that you turn out next watch!”
He spun round and walked out. His tone was no
longer gently indulgent, but sharp and distant.
Bart, at first surprised, suddenly understood.
Not now a prisoner, a passenger, a
guest on the Swiftwing. He was part of
the crew again and Vorongil was his captain.
The Lhari crew were oddly constrained
at first. But Ringg was the same as always, and
before long they were almost on the old terms.
With every watch, it seemed, he was building a bridge
between man and Lhari. They accepted him.
But for what? Something might
come, in the far future, of his acceptance, but he
wouldn’t get the benefit of it. This would
be his only voyage; after this he’d be chained
again, crawling from planet to planet of a single
sun. And as warp-shift followed warp-shift, the
Swiftwing retracing the path of her outward
cruise star by star, Bart said farewell to them.
One day, at last, he stood at the
viewport, watching Procyon Alpha nearing. A year
ago, frightened, terribly alone, still unsteady on
his new Lhari muscles and terrified by the monsters
that were his shipmates, he had watched these planets
spinning away. Poor old Rugel, poor old Baldy!
Behind him, Meta came into the lounge.
“Bart
He turned to face her. “It
won’t be much longer, Meta. Tomorrow I’ll
find out what the Federation is going to do to me.
Conspiracy unlawfully to board and
all the rest of it. Even if I don’t go to
a prison planet, I’ll spend the rest of my life
chained down to Vega.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“What other choice is there?” he demanded.
“You’re half Mentorian,”
she said, raising her eager face. “Oh, Bart,
you love it so, you know you can’t bear to give
it up. Stay with us please stay!”
Before answering, he looked out the viewport a last time.
The clouds of cosmic dust swirled and foamed around the familiar jewels of his
own sky. Blue, beloved Vega, burning in the heart of the Lyre home when would
he go home? He had no home now. Yet his father
had left him Vega Interplanet, as well as Eight Colors
and a quest to the stars.
He searched for the topaz of Sol,
where he had learned astrogation; Procyon, where he
had become a Lhari; the ruby of Aldebaran (hail
and farewell, David Briscoe!); the bloodstone
of Antares, where he had learned fear and the shape
of integrity. The colors, the unknowable colors
of space. And others. Nameless stars where
he and his Lhari shipmates had worked and played.
And stars he had never seen and would never see, all
the endless worlds beyond worlds and stars beyond
stars....
He took a last, longing look at the
colors of space, then turned his back on them, deliberately
giving them up. He could not pay the price the
Mentorians paid.
“No, Meta,” he said huskily.
“The Mentorian way is one way, but I’ve
had a taste of being one of the masters of space.
It’s more than most men ever have, maybe it’s
more than I deserve. But I can’t settle
for anything less. Not even if it means losing
you.”
He shut his eyes and stood, head bowed.
When he looked up again, he was alone with the stars
beyond the viewport, and the lounge was empty.