Two months had gone by and the Hawkins
family were domiciled in Hawkeye. Washington
was at work in the real estate office again, and was
alternately in paradise or the other place just as
it happened that Louise was gracious to him or seemingly
indifferent because indifference or preoccupation
could mean nothing else than that she was thinking
of some other young person. Col. Sellers
had asked him several times, to dine with him, when
he first returned to Hawkeye, but Washington, for no
particular reason, had not accepted. No particular
reason except one which he preferred to keep to himself viz.
that he could not bear to be away from Louise.
It occurred to him, now, that the Colonel had not
invited him lately could he be offended?
He resolved to go that very day, and give the Colonel
a pleasant surprise. It was a good idea; especially
as Louise had absented herself from breakfast that
morning, and torn his heart; he would tear hers, now,
and let her see how it felt.
The Sellers family were just starting
to dinner when Washington burst upon them with his
surprise. For an instant the Colonel looked
nonplussed, and just a bit uncomfortable; and Mrs.
Sellers looked actually distressed; but the next moment
the head of the house was himself again, and exclaimed:
“All right, my boy, all right always
glad to see you always glad to hear your
voice and take you by the hand. Don’t wait
for special invitations that’s all
nonsense among friends. Just come whenever you
can, and come as often as you can the oftener
the better. You can’t please us any better
than that, Washington; the little woman will tell
you so herself. We don’t pretend to style.
Plain folks, you know plain folks.
Just a plain family dinner, but such as it is, our
friends are always welcome, I reckon you know that
yourself, Washington. Run along, children, run
along; Lafayette, [In those old days the
average man called his children after his most revered
literary and historical idols; consequently there
was hardly a family, at least in the West, but had
a Washington in it and also a Lafayette,
a Franklin, and six or eight sounding names from Byron,
Scott, and the Bible, if the offspring held out.
To visit such a family, was to find one’s self
confronted by a congress made up of representatives
of the imperial myths and the majestic dead of all
the ages. There was something thrilling about
it, to a stranger, not to say awe inspiring.] stand
off the cat’s tail, child, can’t you see
what you’re doing? Come, come, come,
Roderick Dhu, it isn’t nice for little boys
to hang onto young gentlemen’s coat tails but
never mind him, Washington, he’s full of spirits
and don’t mean any harm. Children will
be children, you know. Take the chair next to
Mrs. Sellers, Washington tut, tut, Marie
Antoinette, let your brother have the fork if he wants
it, you are bigger than he is.”
Washington contemplated the banquet,
and wondered if he were in his right mind. Was
this the plain family dinner? And was it all
present? It was soon apparent that this was
indeed the dinner: it was all on the table:
it consisted of abundance of clear, fresh water, and
a basin of raw turnips nothing more.
Washington stole a glance at Mrs.
Sellers’s face, and would have given the world,
the next moment, if he could have spared her that.
The poor woman’s face was crimson, and the
tears stood in her eyes. Washington did not
know what to do. He wished he had never come
there and spied out this cruel poverty and brought
pain to that poor little lady’s heart and shame
to her cheek; but he was there, and there was no escape.
Col. Sellers hitched back his coat sleeves airily
from his wrists as who should say “Now for solid
enjoyment!” seized a fork, flourished it and
began to harpoon turnips and deposit them in the plates
before him “Let me help you, Washington Lafayette
pass this plate Washington ah, well, well,
my boy, things are looking pretty bright, now, I tell
you. Speculation my! the whole atmosphere’s
full of money. I would’nt take three fortunes
for one little operation I’ve got on hand now have
anything from the casters? No? Well, you’re
right, you’re right. Some people like
mustard with turnips, but now there was
Baron Poniatowski Lord, but that man did
know how to live! true Russian you know,
Russian to the back bone; I say to my wife, give me
a Russian every time, for a table comrade. The
Baron used to say, ’Take mustard, Sellers, try
the mustard, a man can’t know what
turnips are in perfection without, mustard,’
but I always said, ’No, Baron, I’m a plain
man and I want my food plain none of your
embellishments for Beriah Sellers no made
dishes for me! And it’s the best way high
living kills more than it cures in this world, you
can rest assured of that. Yes indeed, Washington,
I’ve got one little operation on hand that take
some more water help yourself, won’t
you? help yourself, there’s plenty
of it. You’ll find it pretty
good, I guess. How does that fruit strike you?”
Washington said he did not know that
he had ever tasted better. He did not add that
he detested turnips even when they were cooked loathed
them in their natural state. No, he kept this
to himself, and praised the turnips to the peril of
his soul.
“I thought you’d like
them. Examine them examine them they’ll
bear it. See how perfectly firm and juicy they
are they can’t start any like them
in this part of the country, I can tell you.
These are from New Jersey I imported them
myself. They cost like sin, too; but lord bless
me, I go in for having the best of a thing, even if
it does cost a little more it’s the
best economy, in the long run. These are the
Early Malcolm it’s a turnip that
can’t be produced except in just one orchard,
and the supply never is up to the demand. Take
some more water, Washington you can’t
drink too much water with fruit all the
doctors say that. The plague can’t come
where this article is, my boy!”
“Plague? What plague?”
“What plague, indeed?
Why the Asiatic plague that nearly depopulated London
a couple of centuries ago.”
“But how does that concern us?
There is no plague here, I reckon.”
“Sh! I’ve let it
out! Well, never mind just keep it
to yourself. Perhaps I oughtn’t said anything,
but its bound to come out sooner or later, so what
is the odds? Old McDowells wouldn’t like
me to to bother it all, I’ll
jest tell the whole thing and let it go. You
see, I’ve been down to St. Louis, and I happened
to run across old Dr. McDowells thinks
the world of me, does the doctor. He’s
a man that keeps himself to himself, and well he may,
for he knows that he’s got a reputation that
covers the whole earth he won’t condescend
to open himself out to many people, but lord bless
you, he and I are just like brothers; he won’t
let me go to a hotel when I’m in the city says
I’m the only man that’s company to him,
and I don’t know but there’s some truth
in it, too, because although I never like to glorify
myself and make a great to-do over what I am or what
I can do or what I know, I don’t mind saying
here among friends that I am better read up in most
sciences, maybe, than the general run of professional
men in these days. Well, the other day he let
me into a little secret, strictly on the quiet, about
this matter of the plague.
“You see it’s booming
right along in our direction follows the
Gulf Stream, you know, just as all those epidemics
do, and within three months it will be just waltzing
through this land like a whirlwind! And whoever
it touches can make his will and contract for the funeral.
Well you can’t cure it, you know, but you can
prevent it. How? Turnips! that’s
it! Turnips and water! Nothing like it
in the world, old McDowells says, just fill yourself
up two or three times a day, and you can snap your
fingers at the plague. Sh! keep mum,
but just you confine yourself to that diet and you’re
all right. I wouldn’t have old McDowells
know that I told about it for anything he
never would speak to me again. Take some more
water, Washington the more water you drink,
the better. Here, let me give you some more of
the turnips. No, no, no, now, I insist.
There, now. Absorb those. They’re,
mighty sustaining brim full of nutriment all
the medical books say so. Just eat from four
to seven good-sized turnips at a meal, and drink from
a pint and a half to a quart of water, and then just
sit around a couple of hours and let them ferment.
You’ll feel like a fighting cock next day.”
Fifteen or twenty minutes later the
Colonel’s tongue was still chattering away he
had piled up several future fortunes out of several
incipient “operations” which he had blundered
into within the past week, and was now soaring along
through some brilliant expectations born of late promising
experiments upon the lacking ingredient of the eye-water.
And at such a time Washington ought to have been a
rapt and enthusiastic listener, but he was not, for
two matters disturbed his mind and distracted his
attention. One was, that he discovered, to his
confusion and shame, that in allowing himself to be
helped a second time to the turnips, he had robbed
those hungry children. He had not needed the
dreadful “fruit,” and had not wanted it;
and when he saw the pathetic sorrow in their faces
when they asked for more and there was no more to
give them, he hated himself for his stupidity and pitied
the famishing young things with all his heart.
The other matter that disturbed him was the dire
inflation that had begun in his stomach. It grew
and grew, it became more and more insupportable.
Evidently the turnips were “fermenting.”
He forced himself to sit still as long as he could,
but his anguish conquered him at last.
He rose in the midst of the Colonel’s
talk and excused himself on the plea of a previous
engagement. The Colonel followed him to the door,
promising over and over again that he would use his
influence to get some of the Early Malcolms for him,
and insisting that he should not be such a stranger
but come and take pot-luck with him every chance he
got. Washington was glad enough to get away and
feel free again. He immediately bent his steps
toward home.
In bed he passed an hour that threatened
to turn his hair gray, and then a blessed calm settled
down upon him that filled his heart with gratitude.
Weak and languid, he made shift to turn himself about
and seek rest and sleep; and as his soul hovered upon
the brink of unconciousness, he heaved a long, deep
sigh, and said to himself that in his heart he had
cursed the Colonel’s preventive of rheumatism,
before, and now let the plague come if it must he
was done with preventives; if ever any man beguiled
him with turnips and water again, let him die the
death.
If he dreamed at all that night, no
gossiping spirit disturbed his visions to whisper
in his ear of certain matters just then in bud in the
East, more than a thousand miles away that after the
lapse of a few years would develop influences which
would profoundly affect the fate and fortunes of the
Hawkins family.