I had forgotten that I ordered frogs’
legs. When mine were placed before me I laughed.
I always laugh at the sight of frogs’ legs because
of the person and the day of which they remind me.
Nobody noticed that I laughed or asked the reason
why, though it was an audible chuckle, and though
I sat at the head of my own dinner-party at the Cosmic
Club.
The man for whom the dinner was given,
Colonel Robert Thornton, my cousin, a Canadian, who
got his leg shot off at Vimy Ridge, was making oration
about the German Crown Prince’s tactics at Verdun,
and that was the reason that ten men were not paying
attention to me and that I was not paying attention
to Bobby. When the good chap talks human talk,
tells what happened to people and what their psychological
processes seemed to be, he is entertaining. He
has a genuine gift of sympathy and a power to lead
others in the path he treads; in short, he tells a
good story. But like most people who do one thing
particularly well he is always priding himself on
the way he does something else. He likes to look
at Colonel Thornton as a student of the war, and he
has the time of his life when he can get people to
listen to what he knows Joffre and Foch and Haig and
Hindenberg ought to have done. So at this moment
he was enjoying his evening, for the men I had asked
to meet him, all strangers to him, ignorant of his
real powers, were hanging on his words, partly because
no one can help liking him whatever he talks about,
and partly because, with that pathetic empty trouser-leg
and the crutch hooked over his chair, he was an undoubted
hero. So I heard the sentences ambling, and reflected
that Hilaire Belloc with maps and a quiet evening
would do my tactical education more good than Bobby
Thornton’s discursions. And about then I
chuckled unnoticed, over the silly frogs’ legs.
“Tell me, Colonel Thornton,
do you consider that the French made a mistake in
concentrating so much of their reserve ”
It was the Governor himself who was demanding this
earnestly of Bobby. And I saw that the Governor
and the rest were hypnotized, and did not need me.
So I sat at the head of the table,
and waiters brooded over us, and cucumbers and the
usual trash happened, and Bobby held forth while the
ten who were bidden listened as to one sent from heaven.
And, being superfluous, I withdrew mentally to a canoe
in a lonely lake and went frogging.
Vicariously. I do not like frogging
in person. The creature smiles. Also he
appeals because he is ugly and complacent. But
for the grace of God I might have looked so.
He sits in supreme hideousness frozen to the end of
a wet log, with his desirable hind legs spread in view,
and smiles his bronze smile of confidence in his own
charm and my friendship. It is more than I can
do to betray that smile. So, hating to destroy
the beast yet liking to eat the leg, about once in
my summer vacation in camp I go frogging, and make
the guides do it.
It would not be etiquette to send
them out alone, for in our club guides are supposed
to do no fishing or shooting no sport.
Therefore, I sit in a canoe and pretend to take a
frog in a landing-net and miss two or three and shortly
hand over the net to Josef. We have decided on
landing-nets as our tackle. I once shot the animals
with a .22 Flobert rifle, but almost invariably they
dropped, like a larger bullet, off the log and into
the mud, and that was the end. We never could
retrieve them. Also at one time we fished them
with a many-pronged hook and a bit of red flannel.
But that seemed too bitter a return for the bronze
smile, and I disliked the method, besides being bad
at it. We took to the landing-net.
To see Josef, enraptured with the
delicate sport, approach a net carefully till within
an inch of the smile, and then give the old graven
image a smart rap on the legs in question to make him
leap headlong into the snare to see that
and Josef’s black Indian eyes glitter with joy
at the chase is amusing. I make him slaughter
the game instantly, which appears supererogatory to
Josef who would exactly as soon have a collection
of slimy ones leaping around the canoe. But I
have them dead and done for promptly, and piled under
the stern seat. And on we paddle to the next.
The day to which I had retired from
my dinner-party and the tactical lecture of my distinguished
cousin was a late August day of two years before.
The frogging fleet included two canoes, that of young
John Dudley who was doing his vacation with me, and
my own. In each canoe, as is Hoyle for canoeing
in Canada, were two guides and a “m’sieur.”
The other boat, John’s, was somewhere on the
opposite shore of Lac des Passes, the Lake
of the Passes, crawling along edges of bays and specializing
in old logs and submerged rocks, after frogs with a
landing-net, the same as us. But John to
my mind coarser was doing his own frogging.
The other boat was nothing to us except for an occasional
yell when geography brought us near enough, of “How
many?” and envy and malice and all uncharitableness
if the count was more, and hoots of triumph if less.
In my craft sailed, besides Josef
and myself, as bow paddler, The Tin Lizzie. We
called him that except when he could hear us, and I
think it would have done small harm to call him so
then, as he had the brain of a jack-rabbit and managed
not to know any English, even when soaked in it daily.
John Dudley had named him because of the plebeian and
reliable way in which he plugged along Canadian trails.
He set forth the queerest walk I have ever seen a
human Ford, John said. He was also quite mad
about John. There had been a week in which Dudley,
much of a doctor, had treated, with cheerful patience
and skill, an infected and painful hand of the guide’s,
and this had won for him the love eternal of our Tin
Lizzie. Little John Dudley thought, as he made
jokes to distract the boy, and worked over his big
throbbing fist, the fist which meant daily bread little
John thought where the plant of love springing from
that seed of gratitude would at last blossom.
Little he thought as the two sat on the gallery of
the camp, and the placid lake broke in silver on pebbles
below, through what hell of fire and smoke and danger
the kindliness he gave to the stupid young guide would
be given back to him. Which is getting ahead
of the story.
I suggested that the Lizzie might
like a turn at frogging, and Josef, with Indian wordlessness,
handed the net to him. Whereupon, with his flabby
mouth wide and his large gray eyes gleaming, he proceeded
to miss four easy ones in succession. And with
that Josef, in a gibberish which is French-Canadian
patois of the inner circles, addressed the Tin Lizzie
and took away the net from him, asking no orders from
me. The Lizzie, pipe in mouth as always, smiled
just as pleasantly under this punishment as in the
hour of his opportunities. He would have been
a very handsome boy, with his huge eyes and brilliant
brown and red color and his splendid shoulders and
slim waist of an athlete if only he had possessed
a ray of sense. Yet he was a good enough guide
to fill in, for he was strong and willing and took
orders amiably from anybody and did his routine of
work, such as chopping wood and filling lamps and bringing
water and carrying boats, with entire efficiency.
That he had no initiative at all and by no chance
did anything he was not told to, even when most obvious,
that he was lacking in any characteristic of interest,
that he was moreover a supreme coward, afraid to be
left alone in the woods these things were
after all immaterial, for, as John pointed out, we
didn’t really need to love our guides.
John also pointed out that the Lizzie his
name was, incidentally, Aristophe had one
nice quality. Of course, it was a quality which
appealed most to the beneficiary, yet it seemed well
to me also to have my guests surrounded with mercy
and loving kindness. John had but to suggest
building a fire or greasing his boots or carrying a
canoe over any portage to any lake, and the Lizzie
at once leaped with a bright smile as who should say
that this was indeed a pleasure. “C’est
bien, M’sieur,” was his formula.
He would gaze at John for sections of an hour, with
his flabby mouth open in speechless surprise as if
at the unbelievable glory and magnificence of M’sieur.
A nice lad, John Dudley was, but no subtle enchanter;
a stocky and well-set-up young man with a whole-souled,
garrulous and breezy way, and a gift of slang and a
brilliant grin. What called forth hero-worship
towards him I never understood; but no more had I
understood why Mildred Thornton, Colonel Thornton’s
young sister, my very beautiful cousin, should have
selected him, from a large assortment of suitors,
to marry. Indeed I did not entirely understand
why I liked having John in camp better than anyone
else; probably it was essentially the same charm which
impelled Mildred to want to live with him, and the
Tin Lizzie to fall down and worship. In any case
the Lizzie worshipped with a primitive and unashamed
and enduring adoration, which stood even the test
of fear. That was the supreme test for the Tin
Lizzie, who was a coward of cowards. Rather cruelly
I bet John on a day that his satellite did not love
him enough to go out to the club-house alone for him,
and the next day John was in sore need of tobacco,
not to be got nearer than the club.
“Aristophe will go out and get
it for me,” he announced as Aristophe the
Lizzie trotted about the table at lunch-time
purveying us flapjacks.
The Tin Lizzie stood rooted a second,
petrified at the revolutionary scheme of his going
to the club, companions unmentioned. There one
saw as if through glass an idea seeking a road through
his smooth gray matter. One had always gone to
the club with Josef, or Maxime or Pierre certainly
M’sieur meant that; one would of course be glad
to go with Josef or Maxime or Pierre to
get tobacco for M’sieur John. Of course,
the idea slid through the old road in the almost unwrinkled
gray matter, and came safely to headquarters.
“C’est bien,
M’sieur,” answered the Lizzie smiling brightly.
And with that I knocked the silly
little smile into a cocked hat. “You may
start early tomorrow, Aristophe,” I said, “and
get back by dark, going light, I can’t spare
any other men to go with you. But you will certainly
not mind going alone to get tobacco for
M’sieur John.”
The poor Tin Lizzie turned red and
then white, and his weak mouth fell open and his eyebrows
lifted till the whites of his eyes showed above the
gray irises. And one saw again, through the crystal
of his unexercised brain, the operation of a painful
and new thought. M’sieur John a
day alone in the woods love, versus fear which
would win. John and I watched the struggle a
bit mercilessly. A grown man gets small sympathy
for being a coward. And yet few forms of suffering
are keener. We watched; and the Tin Lizzie stood
and gasped in the play of his emotions. Nobody
had ever given this son of the soil ideals to hold
to through sudden danger; no sense of inherited honor
to be guarded came to help the Lizzie; he had been
taught to work hard and save his skin little
else. The great adoration for John which had swept
him off his commonplace feet was it going
to make good against life-long selfish caution?
We wondered. It was curious to watch the new big
feeling fight the long-established petty one.
And it was with a glow of triumph quite out of drawing
that we saw the generous instinct win the battle.
“Oui, M’sieur,”
spoke Aristophe, unconscious of subtleties or watching.
“I go tomorrow alone. C’est
bien, M’sieur.”
It was about the only remark I ever
heard him make, that gracious: “C’est
bien, M’sieur!” But he made it remarkably
well. Almost he persuaded me to respect him with
that hearty response to the call of duty, that humble
and high gift of graciousness. One remembers him
as his dolly face lighted at John’s order to
go and clean trout or carry in logs, and one does
not forget the absurd, queer little fast trot at which
his powerful young legs would instantaneously swing
off to obey the behest. Such was the Tin Lizzie,
the guide who paddled bow in my canvas canoe on the
day of the celebrated frog hunt.
That the frog hunt was celebrated
was owing to the Lizzie. He should have been
in John’s boat, as one of John’s guides,
but at the last moment, there was a confusion of tongues
and Lizzie was shipped aboard my canoe. In the
excitement of the chase Josef, stern man, had faced
about to manipulate his landing-net; Aristophe also
slewed around and, sitting on the gunwale, became
stern paddler. I was in the middle screwed anyhow,
watching the frog fishing and enjoying the enjoyment
of the men. Poor chaps, it was the only bit of
personal play they got out of our month of play.
Aristophe, the Tin Lizzie, was quite mad with the
excitement even from his very second fiddle standpoint
of paddler to Josef’s frogging. His enormous
gray eyes snapped, his teeth showed white and gold
around his pipe which he nearly bit off and
he even used language.
“Tiens! Encore un!”
hissed the Lizzie in a blood-curdling whisper as a
new pair of pop eyes lifted from the edge of a rotten
log.
And Josef, who had always seen the
frog first, fired a guttural sentence, full of contempt,
full of friendliness, for he sized up the Lizzie,
his virtues and his limitations, accurately. And
then the boat was pushed and pulled in the shallow
water till Josef and the net were within range.
With, that came the slow approach of the net to the
smile, the swift tap on the eatable legs, and headlong
into his finish leaped M. Crapaud. Which is rot
his correct name, Josef tells me, in these parts,
but M. Guarron. And that, being translated, means
Mr. Very-Big-Bull-Frog.
Business had prospered to fourteen
or fifteen head of frogs, and we calculated that the
other boat might have a dozen when, facing towards
Aristophe, I saw his dull, fresh face suddenly change.
My pulse missed a beat at that expression. It
was adequate to an earthquake or sudden death.
How the fatuous doll-like features could have been
made to register that stare of a soul in horror I
can’t guess. But they did. The whites
of his eyes showed an eighth of an inch above the irises
and his black eyebrows were shot up to the roots of
his glossy black hair. In the gleaming white
and gold of his teeth the pipe was still gripped.
And while I gazed, astonished, his unfitting deep
voice issued from that mask of fear:
“Tiens! Encore un!”
And I screwed about and saw that the Lizzie was running
the boat on top of an enormous frog which he had not
spied till the last second. With that Josef exploded
throaty language and leaning sidewise made a dive
at the frog. Aristophe, unbalanced with emotion
and Josef’s swift movement shot from his poise
at the end of the little craft, and landed, in a foot
of water, flat on his buck, and the frog seized that
second to jump on his stomach.
I never heard an Indian really laugh
before that day. The hills resounded with Josef’s
shouts. We laughed, Josef and I, till we were
weak, and for a good minute Aristophe sprawled in the
lake, with the frog anchored as if till Kingdom come
on his middle, and howled lusty howls while we laughed.
Then Josef fished the frog and got him off the Tin
Lizzie’s lungs. And Aristophe, weeping,
scrambled into the boat. And as we went home
in the cool forest twilight, up the portage by the
rushing, noisy rapids, Josef, walking before us, carrying
the landing-net full of frogs’ legs, shook with
laughter every little while again, as Aristophe, his
wet strong young legs, the only section of him showing,
toiled ahead up the winding thread of a trail, carrying
the inverted canoe on his head.
It was this adventure which came to
me and seized me and carried me a thousand miles northward
into Canadian forest as I looked at the frogs’
legs on my plate at the Cosmic Club, and did not listen
to my cousin, the Colonel, talking military tactics.
The mental review took an eighth of
the time it has taken me to tell it. But as I
shook off my dream of the woods, I realized that, while
Thornton still talked, he had got out of his uninteresting
rut into his interesting one. Without hearing
what he said I knew that from the look of the men’s
faces. Each man’s eyes were bright, through
a manner of mistiness, and there was a sudden silence
which was perhaps what had recalled me.
“It’s a war which is making
a new standard of courage,” spoke the young
Governor in the gentle tone which goes so oddly and
so pleasantly with his bull-dog jaw. “It
looks as if we were going to be left with a world
where heroism is the normal thing,” spoke the
Governor.
“Heroism yes,”
said Bobby, and I knew with satisfaction that he was
off on his own line, the line he does not fancy, the
line where few can distance him. “Heroism!”
repeated Bobby, “It’s all around out there.
And it crops out ” he begun to smile “in
unsuspected places, from varied impulses.”
He was working his way to an anecdote.
The men at the table, their chairs twisted towards
him, sat very still.
“What I mean to say is,”
Bobby began, “that this war, horrible as it is,
is making over human, nature for the better. It’s
burning out selfishness and cowardice and a lot of
faults from millions of men, and it’s holding
up the nobility of what some of them do to the entire
world. It takes a character, this debacle, and
smashes out the littleness. Another thing is
curious. If a small character has one good point
on which to hang heroism, the battle-spirit searches
out that point and plants on it the heroism.
There was a stupid young private in my command who but
I’m afraid I’m telling too many war stories,”
Bobby appealed, interrupting himself. “I’m
full of it, you see, and when people are so good,
and listen ” He stopped, in a confusion
which is not his least attractive manner.
From down the table came a quick murmur
of voices. I saw more than one glance halt at
the crutch on the back of the soldier’s chair.
“Thank you. I’d really
like to tell about this man. It’s interesting,
psychologically to me,” he went on, smiling contentedly.
He is a lovable chap, my cousin Robert Thornton.
“The lad whom I speak of, a French-Canadian
from Quebec Province, was my servant, my batman, as
the Indian army called them and as we refer to them
often now. He was so brainless that I just missed
firing him the first day I had him. But John
Dudley, my brother-in-law and lieutenant, wanted me
to give him a chance, and also there was something
in his manner when I gave him orders which attracted
me. He appeared to have a pleasure in serving,
and an ideal of duty. Dudley had used him as a
guide, and the man had a dog-like devotion to ‘the
lieutenant’ which counted with me. Also
he didn’t talk. I think he knew only four
words. I flung orders at him and there would
be first a shock of excitement, then a second of tense
anxiety, then a radiant smile and the four words:
’C’est bien, Mon Capitaine.’
I was captain then.”
At that point I dropped my knife and
fork and stared at my cousin. He went on.
“‘C’est bien,
Mon Capitaine.’ That was the slogan.
And when the process was accomplished, off he would
trot, eager to do my will. He was powerful and
well-built, but he had the oddest manner of locomotion
ever I saw, a trot like like a Ford car.
I discovered pretty soon that the poor wretch was
a born coward. I’ve seen him start at the
distant sound of guns long before we got near the
front, and he was nervous at going out alone at night
about the camp. The men ragged him, but he was
such a friendly rascal and so willing to take over
others’ work that he got along with a fraction
of the persecution most of his sort would have had.
I wondered sometimes what would happen to the poor
little devil when actual fighting came. Would
it be ‘C’est bien, Mon Capitaine,’
at the order to go over the top, or would the terrible
force of fear be too much for him and land him at
last with his back to a wall and a firing squad in
front a deserter? Meantime he improved
and I got dependent on his radiant good will.
Being John Dudley’s brother-in-law sanctified
me with him, and nothing was too much trouble if I’d
give him a chance sometimes to clean John’s
boots. I have a man now who shows no ecstacy
at being ordered to do my jobs, and I don’t like
him.
“We were moved up towards the
front, and, though Mr. Winston Churchill has made
a row about the O.S. the officers’
servants who are removed from the firing line, I know
that a large proportion of them do their share in
the trenches. I saw to it that mine did.
“One night there was a digging
expedition. An advance trench was to be made
in No Man’s Land about a hundred and fifty yards
from the Germans. I was in command of the covering
party of thirty-five men; I was a captain. We,
of course, went out ahead. Beaurame was in the
party. It was his first fighting. We had
rifles, with bayonets, and bombs, and a couple of
Lewis guns. We came up to the trenches by a road,
then went into the zigzag communication trenches up
to the front, the fire-trench. Then, very cautiously,
over the top into No Man’s Land. It was
nervous work, for at any second they might discover
us and open fire. It suited us all to be as quiet
as human men could be, and when once in a while a
star-shell, a Very light, was sent up from the German
lines we froze in our tracks till the white glare
died out.
“The party had been digging
for perhaps an hour when hell broke loose. They’d
seen us. All about was a storm of machine-gun
and rifle bullets, and we dropped on our faces, the
diggers in their trench pretty shallow
it was. As for the covering party, we simply took
our medicine. And then the shrapnel joined the
music. Word was passed to get back to the trenches,
and we started promptly. We stooped low as we
ran over No Man’s Land, but there were plenty
of casualties. I got mine in the foot, but not
the wound which rung in this ” Thornton
nodded his head at the crutches with a smile.
“It was from a bit of shrapnel just as I made
the trench, and as I fell in I caught at the sand
bags and whirled about facing out over No Man’s
Land; as I whirled I saw, close by, Beaurame’s
face in a shaft of light. I don’t know why
I made conversation at that moment I did.
I said:
“When did you get back?”
And his answer came as if clicked
on a typewriter. “Me, I stayed, Mon
Capitaine. It had an air too dangerous, out
there.”
I stared in a white rage. You’ll
imagine one of my men to dare tell me that!
And at that second, simultaneously, came the flare
of a shell star and a shout of a man struck down,
and I knew the voice John Dudley. He
was out there, the tail end of the party, wounded.
I saw him as he fell, on the farther side of the new
trench. Of course, one’s instinct was to
dash back and bring him in, and I started. And
I found my foot gone I couldn’t walk.
Quicker than I can tell it I turned to Beaurame, the
coward, who’d been afraid to go over the top,
and I said in French, because, though I hadn’t
time to think it out, I yet realized that it would
get to him faster so I said:
“Get over there, you deserter.
Save the lieutenant Lieutenant Dudley.
Go.”
For one instant I thought it was no
good and I was due to have him shot, if we both lived
through the night. And then I never
in my life saw such a face of abject fear as the one
he turned first to me and then across that horror
of No Man’s Land. The whites of his eyes
showed, it seemed, an eighth of an inch above the
irises; his black eyebrows were half way up his forehead,
and his teeth, luxuriously upholstered with fillings,
shone white and gold in the unearthly light. It
was such a mad terror as I’d never seen before,
and never since. And into it I, mad too with
the thought of my sister if I let young John Dudley
die before my eyes I bombed again the order
to go out and bring in Dudley. I remember the
fading and coming expressions on that Frenchman’s
face like the changes on a moving picture film.
I suppose it was half a minute. And here was
the coward face gazing into mine, transfigured into
the face of a man who cared about another man more
than himself a common man whose one high
quality was love.
“C’est bien, Mon Capitaine,”
Beaurame spoke, through still clicking teeth, and
with his regulation smile of good will he had sprung
over the parapet in one lithe movement, and I saw
him crouching, trotting that absurd, powerful fast
trot through the lane in our barbed wire, like lightning,
to the shallow new trench, to Dudley. I saw him for
the Germans had the stretch lighted I saw
the man pick up my brother-in-law and toss him over
his shoulders and start trotting back. Then I
saw him fall, both of them fall, and I knew that he’d
stopped a bullet. And then, as I groaned, somehow
Beaurame was on his feet again. I expected, that
he’d bolt for cover, but he didn’t.
He bent over deliberately as if he had been a fearless
hero and maybe he was and he
picked up Dudley again and started on, laboring, this
time in walking. He was hit badly. But he
made the trench; he brought in Dudley.
Then such a howl of hurrahs greeted
him from the men who watched the rescue as poor little
Aristophe Beaurame ”
“Ah!” I interjected, and
Bobby turned and stared “as the poor
little scared rat had not dreamed, or had any right
to dream would ever greet his conduct on earth.
He dropped Dudley at my feet and turned with his flabby
mouth open and his great stupid eyes like saucers,
towards the men who rushed to shake his hand and throw
at him words of admiration that choked them to get
out. And then he keeled over. So you see.
It was an equal chance at one second, whether a man
should be shot for a deserter or win the
Victoria Cross.”
“What!” I shouted at my
guest. “What! Not the Victoria Cross!
Not Aristophe!”
Bobby looked at me in surprise.
“You’re a great claque for me,” he
said. “You seem to take an interest in
my hero. Yes, he got it. He was badly hurt.
One hand nearly gone and a wound in his side.
I was lucky enough to be in London on a day three
months later, and to be present at the ceremony, when
the young French-Canadian, spoiled for a soldier, but
splendid stuff now for a hero, stood out in the open
before the troops in front of Buckingham Palace and
King George pinned the V.C. on his breast. They
say that he’s back in his village, and the whole
show. I hear that he tells over and over the
story of his heroism and the rescue of ‘Mon
Lieutenant.’ to never failing audiences.
Of course, John is looking after him, for the hand
which John saved was the hand that was shot to pieces
in saving John, and the Tin Lizzie can never make his
living with that hand again. A deserter, a coward decorated
by the King with the Victoria Cross! Queer things
happen in war!” There was a stir, a murmur as
of voices, of questions beginning, but Bobby was not
quite through.
“War takes the best of the best
men, and the best of the cheapest, and transfigures
both. War doesn’t need heroes for heroism.
She pins it on anywhere if there’s one spot
of greatness in a character. War does strange
things with humanity,” said Bobby.
And I, gasping, broke out crudely
in three words: “Our Tin Lizzie!”
I said, and nobody knew in the least what I meant,
or with what memories I said it.