“What is brokers?” Mr.
Marcus Shimko asked. “A broker is no good,
otherwise he wouldn’t be a broker. Brokers
is fellers which they couldn’t make a success
of their own affairs, Mr. Zamp, so they butt into
everybody else’s. Particularly business
brokers, Mr. Zamp. Real-estate brokers is bad
enough, and insurings brokers is a lot of sharks also;
but for a cutthroat, a low-life bum, understand me,
the worst is a business broker!”
“That’s all right, too,
Mr. Shimko,” Harry Zamp said timidly; “but
if I would get a partner with say, for example, five
hundred dollars, I could make a go of this here business.”
Mr. Shimko nodded skeptically.
“I ain’t saying you couldn’t,”
he agreed, “but where would you find such a
partner? Nowadays a feller with five hundred dollars
don’t think of going into retail business no
more. The least he expects is he should go right
away into manufacturing. Jobbing and retailing
is nix for such a feller, understand me especially
clothing, Mr. Zamp, which nowadays even drug stores
carries retail clothing as a side line, so cut up
the business is.”
Harry Zamp nodded gloomily.
“And, furthermore,” Shimko
added, “business brokers could no more get you
a partner with money as they could do miracles, Mr.
Zamp. Them days is past, Mr. Zamp, and all a
business broker could do nowadays is to bring you
a feller with experience, and you don’t need
a business broker for that, Mr. Zamp.
Experience in the retail clothing business is like
the measles. Everybody has had it.”
“Then what should I do, Mr.
Shimko?” Zamp asked helplessly. “I
must got to get a partner with money somewhere, ain’t
it? And if I wouldn’t go to a business
broker, who then would I go to? A bartender?”
“Never mind!” Mr. Shimko
exclaimed. “Some people got an idée
all bartenders is bums, but wunst in a while a feller
could get from a bartender an advice also. I
got working for me wunst in my place down on Park
Row a feller by the name Klinkowitz, which he is now
manager of the Olympic Gardens on Rivington Street;
and if I would have took that feller’s advice,
Mr. Zamp, instead I am worth now my tens of thousands
I would got hundreds of thousands already. ’When
you see a feller is going down and out, Mr. Shimko,’
he always says to me, ’don’t show him
no mercy at all. If you set ’em up for a
live one, Mr. Shimko,’ he says, ’he would
anyhow buy a couple of rounds; but a dead one, Mr.
Shimko,’ he says, ’if you show him the
least little encouragement, understand me, the least
that happens you is he gets away with the whole lunch-counter.’
Am I right or wrong?”
Mr. Zamp nodded. He resented
the imputation that he was a dead one, but he felt
bound to agree with Mr. Shimko, in view of the circumstance
that on the following day he would owe a month’s
rent with small prospect of being able to pay it.
Indeed, he wondered at Mr. Shimko’s amiability,
for as owner of the Canal Street premises Shimko had
the reputation of being a harsh landlord. Had
Zamp but known it, however, store property on Canal
Street was not in active demand of late, by reason
of the new bridge improvements, and Shimko’s
amiability proceeded from a desire to retain Zamp
as a tenant if the latter’s solvency could be
preserved.
“But I couldn’t help myself,
Mr. Zamp,” Shimko went on. “I got
no business keeping a restaurant at all.”
As a matter of fact, Mr. Shimko’s
late restaurant was of the variety popularly designated
as a “barrel-house,” and he had only retired
from the business after his license had been revoked.
“Yes, Mr. Zamp,” Shimko
continued; “in a business like that a feller
shouldn’t got a heart at all. But I am very
funny that way. I couldn’t bear to see
nobody suffer, understand me, and everybody takes advantage
of me on account of it. So I tell you what I would
do. My wife got a sort of a relation by the name
Miss Babette Schick, which she works for years by
a big cloak and suit concern as a designer. She
ain’t so young no longer, but she got put away
in savings bank a couple of thousand dollars, and
she is engaged to be married to a young feller by the
name Isaac Meiselson, which nobody could tell what
he does for a living at all. One thing is certain with
the money this Meiselson gets with Miss Schick he
could go as partners together with you, and pull you
out of the hole, ain’t it?”
Mr. Zamp nodded again, without enthusiasm.
“Sure, I know, Mr. Shimko,”
he said; “but if a young feller would got two
thousand dollars to invest in a business, y’understand,
why should he come to me? If he would only got
five hundred dollars, Mr. Shimko, that would be something
else again. But with so much as two thousand
dollars a feller could get lots of clothing businesses
which they run a big store with a couple of cutters,
a half a dozen salesmen, and a bookkeeper. What
have I got to offer him for two thousand dollars?
Me, I am salesman, cutter, bookkeeper, and everything;
and if this feller comes in here and sees me alone
in the place, with no customers nor nothing, he gets
an idée it’s a dead proposition. Ain’t
it?”
Shimko pulled out a full cigar-case,
whereat Zamp’s eye kindled, and he licked his
lips in anticipation; but after Shimko had selected
a dark perfecto, he closed the case deliberately and
replaced it in his breast-pocket.
“A business man must got to
got gumption,” he said to the disappointed Zamp;
“and if you think you could got a partner just
by bringing him into the store here, and showing him
the stock and fixtures which you got it, you are making
a big mistake.”
“Well, of course I am expecting
I should blow him to dinner maybe,” Zamp protested,
“with a theayter also.”
Shimko evidenced his disgust by puffing
vigorously at his cigar.
“You are just like a whole lot
of other people, Zamp,” he said. “You
are always willing to spend money before you make it.
Meiselson comes in here and sees you only got a small
stock of piece goods, understand me, and you couldn’t
afford to keep no help, and then, on the top of that
yet, you would take him out and blow him. Naturally
he right away gets the idée you are spending
your money foolishly, instead of putting it into your
business, and the whole thing is off.”
Zamp shrugged impotently.
“What could I do, Mr. Shimko?”
he asked. “I got here a small stock of
goods, I know, but that’s just the reason why
I want a partner.”
“And that’s just the reason
why you wouldn’t get one,” Shimko declared.
“A small stock of piece goods you couldn’t
help, Zamp; but if you let that feller come into your
store and find you ain’t got no cutters or customers,
that’s your own fault.”
“What d’ye mean, Mr. Shimko?” Zamp
demanded.
“I mean this,” Shimko
explained. “If I would got a store like
you got it here, Zamp, and a friend offers to bring
me a feller with a couple thousand dollars for a partner,
understand me, I would go to work, y’understand,
and get a couple cutters and engage ’em for the
afternoon. Then I would turn around, y’understand,
and go up and see such a feller like Klinkowitz, which
he is manager of that theayter on Rivington Street,
and I would get him to fix up for me a half a dozen
young fellers from his theayter, which they would come
down to my store for the day, and some of ’em
acts like customers, and others acts like clerks.
Then, when my friend brings in the feller with two
thousand dollars, understand me, what do they see?
The place is full of customers and salesmen, and in
the rear is a couple of cutters chalking lines on
pattern papers and cutting it up with shears.
You yourself are so busy, understand me, you could
hardly talk a word to us. You don’t want
to know anything about getting a partner at all.
What is a partner with two thousand dollars in a rushing
business like you are doing it? I beg of you
you should take the matter under consideration, but
you pretty near throw me out of the store, on account
you got so much to do. At last you say you would
take a cup coffee with me at six o’clock, and
I go away with the two-thousand dollar feller, and
when we meet again at six o’clock, he’s
pretty near crazy to invest his money with you.
Do you get the idée?”
“Might you could even get the
feller to pay for the coffee, maybe,” Zamp suggested,
completely carried away by Shimko’s enthusiasm.
“If the deal goes through,”
Shimko declared, in a burst of generosity, “I
would even pay for the coffee myself!”
“And when would you bring the feller here?”
Zamp asked.
“I would see him this afternoon
yet,” Shimko replied, as he opened the store
door, “and I would telephone you sure, by Dachtel’s
place, at four o’clock.”
Zamp, full of gratitude, shook hands with his landlord.
“If I would got such a head
like you got it to think out schemes, Mr. Shimko,”
he said fervently, “I would be a millionaire,
I bet yer!”
“The thinking out part is nothing,”
Shimko said, as he turned to leave. “Any
blame fool could think out a scheme, y’understand,
but it takes a pretty bright feller to make it work!”
“If a feller wouldn’t
be in business for himself,” Shimko said to Isaac
Meiselson, as they sat in Wasserbauer’s Cafe
that afternoon, “he might just as well never
come over from Russland at all.”
“I told you before, Mr. Shimko,”
Meiselson retorted, “I am from Lemberg geborn.”
“Oestreich oder Russland,
what is the difference?” Shimko asked. “If
a feller is working for somebody else, nobody cares
who he is or what he is; while if he’s got a
business of his own, understand me, everybody would
respect him, even if he would be born in, we would
say for example, China.”
“Sure, I know, Mr. Shimko,”
Meiselson rejoined; “but there is businesses
and businesses, and what for a business is a small
retail clothing store on Canal Street?”
“Small the store may be, I ain’t
denying it,” Shimko said; “but ain’t
it better a feller does a big business in a small store
as a small business in a big store?”
“If he does a big business,
yes,” Meiselson admitted; “but if a feller
does a big business, why should he want to got a partner?”
“Ain’t I just telling
you he don’t want no partner?” Shimko
interrupted. “And as for doing a big business,
I bet yer we could drop in on the feller any time,
and we would find the store full of people.”
“Gewiss,” Meiselson
commented, “three people playing auction pinochle
in a small store is a big crowd!”
“No auction pinochle gets played
in that store, Meiselson. The feller has working
by him two cutters and three salesmen, and he makes
’em earn their money. Only yesterday I
am in the store, and if you would believe me, Meiselson,
his own landlord he wouldn’t talk to at all,
so busy he is.”
“In that case, what for should
he need me for a partner I couldn’t understand
at all,” Meiselson declared.
“Neither could I,” Shimko
replied, “but a feller like you, which he would
soon got two thousand dollars to invest, needs him
for a partner. A feller like Zamp would keep
you straight, Meiselson. What you want is somebody
which he is going to make you work.”
“What d’ye mean, going
to make me work?” Meiselson asked indignantly.
“I am working just as hard as you are, Mr. Shimko.
When a feller is selling toilet soaps and perfumeries,
Mr. Shimko, he couldn’t see his trade only at
certain hours of the day.”
“I ain’t kicking you are
not working, Meiselson,” Shimko said hastily.
“All I am telling you is, what for a job is selling
toilet soaps and perfumery? You got a limited
trade there, Meiselson; because when it comes to toilet
soaps, understand me, how many people takes it so
particular? I bet yer with a hundred people, Meiselson,
eighty uses laundry soap, fifteen ganvers soap
from hotels and saloons, and the rest buys wunst in
six months a five-cent cake of soap. As for perfumery,
Meiselson, for a dollar bill you could get enough perfumery
to make a thousand people smell like an Italiener
barber-shop; whereas clothing, Meiselson, everybody
must got to wear it. If you are coming to compare
clothing with toilet soap for a business, Meiselson,
there ain’t no more comparison as gold and putty.”
Meiselson remained silent.
“Furthermore,” Shimko
continued, “if Zamp sees a young feller like
you, which even your worst enemy must got to admit
it, Meiselson, you are a swell dresser, and make a
fine, up-to-date appearance, understand me, he would
maybe reconsider his decision not to take a partner.”
“Did he say he wouldn’t
take a partner?” Meiselson asked hopefully.
“He says to me so sure as you
are sitting there: ’Mr. Shimko, my dear
friend, if it would be for your sake, I would willingly
go as partners together with some young feller,’
he says; ’but when a business man is making
money,’ he says, ‘why should he got to
got a partner?’ he says. So I says to him:
‘Zamp,’ I says, ’here is a young
feller which he is going to get married to a young
lady by the name Miss Babette Schick.’”
“She ain’t so young no
longer,” Meiselson broke in ungallantly.
“‘By the name Miss Babette
Schick,’” Shimko continued, recognizing
the interruption with a malevolent glare, “’which
she got, anyhow, a couple thousand dollars,’
I says; ‘and for her sake and for my sake,’
I says, ’if I would bring the young feller around
here, would you consent to look him over?’ And
he says for my sake he would consent to do it, but
we shouldn’t go around there till next week.”
“All right,” Meiselson
said; “if you are so dead anxious I should do
so, I would go around next week.”
“Say, lookyhere, Meiselson,”
Shimko burst out angrily, “don’t do me
no favours! Do you or do you not want to go into
a good business? Because, if you don’t,
say so, and I wouldn’t bother my head further.”
“Sure I do,” Meiselson said.
“Then I want to tell you something,”
Shimko continued. “We wouldn’t wait
till next week at all. With the business that
feller does, delays is dangerous. If we would
wait till next week, some one offers him a good price
and buys him out, maybe. To-morrow afternoon,
two o’clock, you and me goes over to his store,
understand me, and we catches him unawares. Then
you could see for yourself what a business that feller
is doing.”
Meiselson shrugged.
“I am agreeable,” he said.
“Because,” Shimko went
on, thoroughly aroused by Meiselson’s apathy,
“if you’re such a fool that you don’t
know it, Meiselson, I must got to tell you. Wunst
in a while, if a business man is going to get a feller
for partner, when he knows the feller is coming around
to look the business over, he plants phony customers
round the store, and makes it show up like it was
a fine business, when in reality he is going to bust
up right away.”
“So?” Meiselson commented, and Shimko
glared at him ferociously.
“You don’t appreciate
what I am doing for you at all,” Shimko cried.
“I wouldn’t telephone the feller or nothing
that we are coming, understand me? We’ll
take him by surprise.”
Meiselson shrugged.
“Go ahead and take him by surprise
if you want to,” he said wearily. “I
am willing.”
In point of fact, Isaac Meiselson
was quite content to remain in the soap and perfumery
trade, and it was only by dint of much persuasion on
Miss Babette Schick’s part that he was prevailed
upon to embark in a more lucrative business.
It seemed a distinct step downward when he compared
the well-nigh tender methods employed by him in disposing
of soap and perfumery to the proprietresses of beauty
parlours, with the more robust salesmanship in vogue
in the retail clothing business; and he sighed heavily
as he contemplated the immaculate ends of his finger-nails,
so soon to be sullied by contact with the fast-black,
all-wool garments in Zamp’s clothing store.
“Also, I would meet you right
here,” Shimko concluded, “at half-past
one sharp to-morrow.”
After the conclusion of his interview
with Isaac Meiselson, Shimko repaired immediately
to Zamp’s tailoring establishment, and together
they proceeded to the office of Mr. Boris Klinkowitz,
manager of the Olympic Gardens, on Rivington Street.
Shimko explained the object of their business, and
in less than half an hour the resourceful Klinkowitz
had engaged a force of cutters, salesmen, and customers
sufficient to throng Harry Zamp’s store for the
entire day.
“You would see how smooth the
whole thing goes,” Klinkowitz declared, after
he had concluded his arrangements. “The
cutters is genu-ine cutters, members from a union
already, and the salesmen works for years by a couple
concerns on Park Row.”
“And the customers?” Zamp asked.
“That depends on yourself,”
Klinkowitz replied. “If you got a couple
real bargains in sample garments, I wouldn’t
be surprised if the customers could be genu-ine customers
also. Two of ’em works here as waiters,
evenings, and the other three ain’t no bums,
neither. I called a dress-rehearsal at your store
to-morrow morning ten o’clock.”
On the following day, when Mr. Shimko
visited his tenant’s store, he rubbed his eyes.
“Ain’t it wonderful?” he exclaimed.
“Natural like life!”
“S-s-sh!” Zamp exclaimed.
“What’s the matter, Zamp?” Shimko
whispered.
Zamp winked.
“Only the cutters and the salesmen showed up,”
he replied.
“Well, who are them other fellows there?”
Shimko asked.
“How should I know?” Zamp
said hoarsely. “A couple of suckers comes
in from the street, and we sold ’em the same
like anybody else.”
Here the door opened to admit a third
stranger. As the two “property” salesmen
were busy, Zamp turned to greet him.
“Could you make me up maybe
a dress suit mit a silk lining?” the
newcomer asked.
“What are you so late for?”
Zamp retorted. “Klinkowitz was here schon
an hour ago already.”
The stranger looked at Zamp in a puzzled fashion.
“What are you talking about Klinkowitz?”
he said. “I don’t know the feller
at all.”
Zamp gazed hard at his visitor, and
then his face broke into a broad, welcoming smile.
“Excuse me,” he said.
“I am making a mistake. Do you want a French
drape, oder an unfinished worsted?”
For the next thirty minutes a succession
of customers filled the store, and when at intervals
during that period Klinkowitz’s supernumeraries
arrived, Zamp turned them all away.
“What are you doing, Zamp?”
Shimko exclaimed. “At two o’clock
the store would be empty!”
“Would it?” Zamp retorted,
as he eyed a well-dressed youth who paused in front
of the show-window. “Well, maybe it would
and maybe it wouldn’t; and, anyhow, Mr. Shimko,
if there wouldn’t be no customers here, we would
anyhow got plenty of cutting to do. Besides, Shimko,
customers is like sheep. If you get a run of ’em,
one follows the other.”
For the remainder of the forenoon
the two salesmen had all the customers they could
manage; and as Shimko watched them work, his face
grew increasingly gloomy.
“Say, lookyhere, Zamp,”
he said; “you are doing here such a big business,
where do I come in?”
“What d’ye mean, where do you come
in?” Zamp asked.
“Why the idée is mine you
should get in a couple salesmen and cutters,”
Shimko began, “and ”
“What d’ye mean, the idée
is yours?” Zamp rejoined. “Ain’t
I got a right to hire a couple salesmen and cutters
if I want to?”
“Yes, but you never would have
done so if I ain’t told it you,” Shimko
said. “I ought to get a rake-off here.”
“You should get a rake-off because
my business is increasing so I got to hire a couple
salesmen and cutters!” Zamp exclaimed. “What
an idée!”
Shimko paused. After all, he
reflected, why should he quarrel with Zamp? At
two o’clock, when he expected to return with
Meiselson, if the copartnership were consummated,
he would collect 10 per cent. of the copartnership
funds as the regular commission. Moreover, he
had decided to refuse to consent to the transfer of
the store lease from Zamp individually to the copartnership
of Zamp & Meiselson, save at an increase in rental
of ten dollars a month.
“Very well, Zamp,” he
said. “Maybe the idée ain’t mine;
but just the same, I would be back here at two o’clock,
and Meiselson comes along.”
With this ultimatum Shimko started
off for Wasserbauer’s Cafe, and at ten minutes
to two he accompanied Meiselson down to Canal Street.
“Yes, Meiselson,” Shimko
began, as they approached Zamp’s store.
“There’s a feller which he ain’t
got no more sense as you have, and yet he is doing
a big business anyhow.”
“What d’ye mean, no more
sense as I got it?” Meiselson demanded.
“Always up to now I got sense enough to make
a living, and I ain’t killed myself doing it,
neither!”
For the remainder of their journey
to Zamp’s store Shimko sulked in silence; but
when at length they reached their destination he exclaimed
aloud:
“Did you ever see the like?”
he cried. “The place is actually full up
with customers!”
Zamp’s prediction had more than
justified itself. When Shimko and Meiselson entered,
he looked up absently as he handled the rolls of piece
goods which he had purchased, for cash, only one hour
previously. Moreover, his pockets overflowed
with money, for every customer had paid a deposit
of at least 25 per cent.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Zamp,”
Shimko cried. “This is Mr. Meiselson, the
gentleman which I am speaking to you about. He
wants to go as partners together with you.”
Zamp ran his hand through his dishevelled
hair. He was more than confused by his sudden
accession of trade.
“You got to excuse me, Mr. Shimko,”
he said, “I am very, very busy just now.”
Shimko winked furtively at Zamp.
“Sure, I know,” he said, “but when
could we see you later to-day?”
“You couldn’t see
me later to-day,” Zamp replied. “I
am going to work to-night getting out orders.”
“Natuerlich,” Shimko
rejoined, “but couldn’t you take a cup
coffee with us a little later?”
Zamp jumped nervously as the door
opened to admit another customer. The two clerks,
supplemented by a third salesman, who had been hired
by telephone, were extolling the virtues of Zamp’s
wares in stentorian tones, and the atmosphere of the
little store was fairly suffocating.
“I couldn’t think of it,”
Zamp answered, and turned to the newly arrived customer.
“Well, sir,” he cried, “what could
I do for you?”
“Say, lookyhere, Zamp,”
Shimko exploded angrily, “what is the matter
with you? I am bringing you here a feller which
he wants to go as partners together with you, and ”
At this juncture Meiselson raised
his right hand like a traffic policeman at a busy
crossing.
“One moment, Mr. Shimko,”
he interrupted. “You are saying that I am
the feller which wants to go as partners together
with Mr. Zamp?”
“Sure!” Shimko said.
“Well, all I got to say is this,”
Meiselson replied. “I ain’t no horse.
Some people which they got a couple thousand dollars
to invest would like it they should go into a business
like this, and kill themselves to death, Mr. Shimko,
but me not!”
He opened the store door and started for the street.
“But, lookyhere, Meiselson!” Shimko cried
in anguished tones.
“Koosh, Mr. Shimko!”
Meiselson said. “I am in the soap and perfumery
business, Mr. Shimko, and I would stay in it, too!”
Six months later Harry Zamp sat in
Dachtel’s Coffee House on Canal Street, and
smoked a post-prandial cigar. A diamond pin sparkled
in his neck-tie, and his well-cut clothing testified
to his complete solvency.
Indeed, a replica of the coat and
vest hung in the window of his enlarged business premises
on Canal Street, labelled “The Latest from the
London Pickadillies,” and he had sold, strictly
for cash, more than a dozen of the same style during
the last twenty-four hours. For the rush of trade
which began on the day when he hired the “property”
salesmen and cutters had not only continued but had
actually increased; and it was therefore with the
most pleasurable sensations that he recognized, at
the next table, Isaac Meiselson, the unconscious cause
of all his prosperity.
“Excuse me,” he began, “ain’t
your name Meiselson?”
“My name is Mr. Meiselson,”
Isaac admitted. “This is Mr. Zamp, ain’t
it?”
Zamp nodded.
“You look pretty well, considering
the way you are working in that clothing business
of yours,” Meiselson remarked.
“Hard work never hurted me none,”
Zamp answered. “Are you still in the soap
and perfumery business, Mr. Meiselson?”
Meiselson shook his head.
“No,” he said, “I
went out of the soap business when I got married last
month.”
“Is that so?” Zamp commented.
“And did you go into another business?”
“Not yet,” Meiselson replied,
and then he smiled. “The fact is,”
he added in a burst of confidence, “my wife
is a dressmaker.”