For many years Mr. Herman Wolfson
had so conducted the auctioneering business that he
could look the whole world, including the district
attorney, in the eye and tell ’em to go jump
on themselves. This was by no means an easy thing
to do, when the wavering line of demarcation between
right and wrong often depends on the construction of
a comma in the Code of Criminal Procedure. Nevertheless,
under the competent advice of Henry D. Feldman, that
eminent legal practitioner, Mr. Wolfson had prospered;
and although his specialty was the purchasing en
bloc of the stock in trade and fixtures of failing
shopkeepers, not once had he been obliged to turn
over his purchases to the host of clamouring creditors.
“My skirts I keep it clean,”
he explained to Philip Borrochson, whose retail jewellery
business had proved a losing venture and was, therefore,
being acquired by Mr. Wolfson at five hundred dollars
less than its actual value, “and if I got an
idée you was out to do somebody myself
or anybody else I wouldn’t have nothing
to do with you, Mr. Borrochson.”
The conversation took place in the
business premises of Mr. Borrochson, a small, poorly-stocked
store on Third Avenue, one Sunday morning in January,
which is always a precarious month in the jewellery
trade.
“If it should be the last word
what I ever told it you, Mr. Wolfson,” Borrochson
declared, “I ain’t got even a piece of
wrapping-paper on memorandum. Everything in my
stock is a straight purchase at sixty and ninety days.
You can take my word for it.”
Mr. Wolfson nodded.
“When I close the deal to buy
the place, Borrochson,” he said, “I’ll
take more as your word for it. You got a writing
from me just now, and I’ll get a writing from
you. I’ll take your affidavit, the same
what Henry D. Feldman draws it in every case when
I buy stores. There ain’t never no mistakes
in them affidavits, neither, Borrochson, otherwise
the party what makes it is got ten years to wait before
he makes another one.”
“Sure, I know it, you can make
me arrested if I faked you, Mr. Wolfson,” Borrochson
replied, “but this is straight goods.”
“And how about them showcases?” Wolfson
asked.
“Only notes I give it for ’em,”
Borrochson answered him. “I ain’t
give a chattel mortgage or one of them conditional
bill-off-sales on so much as a tin tack.”
“Well, Feldman will look out
for that, Borrochson,” Wolfson replied, “and
the safe, too.”
Borrochson started.
“I thought I told it you about the safe,”
he exclaimed.
“You ain’t told me nothing
about the safe,” Wolfson answered. “The
writing what I give you says the stock and fixtures.”
Borrochson took out the paper which
Wolfson had just signed, and examined it carefully.
“You’re wrong,”
Borrochson said. “I stuck it in the words
’without the safe’ before you signed it.”
Wolfson rose heavily to his feet.
“Let see it the writing,” he said, making
a grab for it.
“It’s all right,”
Borrochson replied. “Here it is, black on
white, ‘without the safe.’”
“Then you done me out of it,” Wolfson
cried.
“I didn’t done you out
of nothing,” Borrochson retorted. “You
should of read it over before you signed it, and,
anyhow, what difference does the safe make? It
ain’t worth fifty dollars if it was brand-new.”
“Without a safe a jewellery
stock is nothing,” Wolfson said. “So
if you told it me you wouldn’t sell the safe
I wouldn’t of signed the paper. You cheated
me.”
He walked toward the door of the store
and had about reached it when it burst open to admit
a tall, slight man with haggard face and blazing eyes.
He rushed past Wolfson, who turned and stared after
him.
“Mr. Borrochson,” the
newcomer cried, “what’s the use your fooling
me any longer? Five hundred dollars I will give
for the safe, and that’s my last word.”
“Sssh!” Borrochson hissed,
and drew his visitor toward the end of the store.
There a whispered conversation took place with frequent
outbursts of sacred and profane exclamations from the
tall, slender person, who finally smacked Borrochson’s
face with a resounding slap and ran out of the store.
“Bloodsucker!” he yelled
as he slammed the door behind him. “You
want my life.”
Wolfson stared first at the departing
stranger and then at Borrochson, who was thoughtfully
rubbing his red and smarting cheek.
“It goes too far!” Borrochson
cried. “Twicet already he does that to me
and makes also my nose bleed. The next time I
make him arrested.”
“What’s the matter with
him?” Wolfson asked. “Is he crazy?”
“He makes me crazy,” Borrochson
replied. “I wish I never seen the safe.”
“The safe!” Wolfson exclaimed.
“What’s he got to do with the safe?”
“Oh, nothing,” Borrochson
answered guardedly; “just a little business
between him and me about it.”
“But, Mr. Borrochson,”
Wolfson coaxed, “there can’t be no harm
in telling me about it.”
He handed a cigar to Borrochson, who
examined it suspiciously and put it in his pocket.
“Seed tobacco always makes me
a stomachache,” he said, “unless I smoke
it after a meal.”
“That ain’t no seed tobacco,”
Wolfson protested; “that’s a clear Havana
cigar. But anyhow, what’s the matter with
this here Who’s-this and the safe?”
“Well,” Borrochson commenced,
“the feller’s name is Rubin, and he makes
it a failure in the jewellery business on Rivington
Street last June already. I went and bought the
safe at the receiver’s sale, and ever since
I got it yet he bothered the life out of me I should
sell him back the safe.”
“Well, why don’t you do it?”
“Because we can’t come
to terms,” Borrochson replied. “He
wants to give me five hundred for the safe, and I
couldn’t take it a cent less than seven-fifty.”
“But what did you give for the
safe when you bought it originally already?”
Wolfson asked.
“Forty-five dollars.”
Wolfson whistled.
“What’s the matter with it?” he
said finally.
“To tell you the candid and
honest truth,” Borrochson replied, “I don’t
see nothing the matter with the safe. Fifty dollars
I paid it to experts who looked at that safe with
telescopes already, like they was doctors, and they
couldn’t find nothing the matter with it, neither.
The safe is a safe, they say, and that’s all
there is to it.”
Wolfson nodded gravely.
“But there must be something the matter with
the safe. Ain’t it?”
“Sure, there must be,”
Borrochson agreed, “and if Rubin don’t
want to buy it back, either I will blow it up the
safe or melt it down.”
“That would be a foolish thing to do,”
Wolfson said.
“Well, if the safe is worth
five hundred to Rubin,” Borrochson declared,
“it’s worth seven hundred and fifty to
me. That’s the way I figure it.”
Wolfson blew great clouds from one
of his seed tobacco cigars and pondered for a minute.
“I tell you what I’ll
do, Borrochson,” he said at last. “Give
me a day to examine the safe and I’ll make you
an offer right now of five hundred and fifty for it.”
Borrochson laughed raucously.
“What do you think I am?” he said.
“A greenhorn?”
Then commenced a hard, long battle
in which a truce was declared at six hundred dollars.
“But mind you,” Wolfson
said, “I should be alone when I examine the
safe.”
“Alone without a safe feller
you couldn’t do nothing,” Borrochson declared,
“but if you mean that I shouldn’t be there
to see the whole thing, I tell you now the deal is
off.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Wolfson asked, in accents of hurt astonishment.
“Sure I trust you,” Borrochson
said; “but if you should find it a big diamond,
we will say, for instance, in that safe, where would
I come in?”
“You think I would steal the
diamond and tell you nothing, and then refuse to take
the safe?” Wolfson asked.
“I don’t think nothing,”
Borrochson replied stubbornly, and lapsed into silence.
Here was a deadlock that bade fair to break up the
deal.
“Take a chance on me, Borrochson,” Wolfson
said at last.
“Why should I take a chance
on you, Wolfson,” Borrochson replied, “when
we can both take a chance on the safe? If you
don’t want to take it, I will take it.
You don’t got to buy the safe, Wolfson, if you
don’t want to.”
For five minutes more Wolfson pondered and at length
he surrendered.
“All right,” he said.
“I’ll make you this proposition: If
I find it anything in the safe I will pay you six
hundred, and if I don’t find it nothing in the
safe, I will pay you one hundred dollars for the privilege
of looking. I’m willing to take a chance,
too.”
“That ain’t no chance
what you take it,” Borrochson cried. “That’s
a dead-sure certainty.”
“Why is it a certainty, Borrochson?”
Wolfson retorted. “If I don’t find
nothing in the safe you can keep it, and then you got
it one hundred dollars from me; and when Rubin comes
into the store you could sell him the safe for five
hundred dollars, anyway. So which whatever way
you look at it, Borrochson, you get six hundred dollars
for the safe.”
Borrochson frowned in deep consideration of the plan.
“I tell you what it is, Wolfson,”
he said at last, “and this is my last word,
so sure as you stand there. If you don’t
want to consider it, the deal is off. Pay me
two hundred dollars now in advance and four hundred
dollars additional when you find it something in the
safe. That is all there is to it.”
Wolfson looked hard at Borrochson,
but there was a glitter of finality in the jeweller’s
eyes that clinched things.
“And you and the safe feller
can look at the safe alone,” Borrochson concluded.
“I’m satisfied,”
Wolfson said finally, and drew a checkbook from his
waistcoat-pocket.
Borrochson raised his hand solemnly.
“Either cash oder nothing,”
was his ultimatum, and Wolfson replaced the checkbook
in his vest pocket and drew a roll of bills from his
trousers. He peeled off two hundred dollars and
handed it to Borrochson.
“You see,” he said, “I trust you.
Ain’t it?”
“You got to trust me,”
Borrochson replied, as Wolfson rose to examine the
safe.
“Who did you get to look at
the safe?” he asked Borrochson.
“Experts from everywhere,”
Borrochson replied. “I must of got ten
fellers here from every big safe house in town.
I can show you the bills already.”
Wolfson waved his hand.
“I don’t want to see ’em,”
he said. “But on the front of the safe I
see it, J. Daiches, maker, Grand Street, New York.
Did you have him to look at it?”
“Daiches!” Borrochson
repeated with a laugh. “I should say I didn’t
get him to look at it. Why, that feller Daiches
don’t know no more about safes than I do about
aljibbery what they learn it young fellers by night
school. He come from Minsk ten years ago and made
it a little money as an operator on shirts. So
he buys out a feller in Grand Street and goes into
the safe business since only a year ago.”
“I take a chance on him, anyhow,”
Wolfson declared. “So do me the favour
and go to the saloon on the corner and ring him up.”
Borrochson shrugged his shoulders.
“You’re up against a bum
proposition in Daiches, Wolfson,” he said, “because
that feller don’t know nothing about safes.”
“But he’s in the safe
business, ain’t he? And a feller can learn
a whole lot about a business inside a year.”
“A horse could pull it a truckload
of books for a hundred years, Wolfson,” Borrochson
said, “and when he got through he wouldn’t
know no more what’s inside of them books than
when he started; ain’t it?”
“’S enough, Borrochson,”
Wolfson said, “if you’re afraid to trust
me alone in the store here while you go and telephone,
why we can lock up the store and I will go with you.”
Accordingly they repaired to the sabbatical
entrance of the nearest liquor saloon and rang up
Daiches’ store in Grand Street. They had
no difficulty in speaking to him, for on the lower
end of Grand Street business goes forward on Sunday
as briskly as on weekdays.
“Mr. Daiches,” Borrochson
said, “this is Philip Borrochson from Third
Avenue. Could you come up by my store and look
over my safe?”
“I ain’t in the market
for no safes, Borrochson,” Daiches replied at
the other end of the telephone wire.
“Not to buy no safes,”
Borrochson corrected. “There’s a feller
here what wants you to look at my safe.”
“Tell him for five dollars,”
Wolfson whispered in Borrochson’s ear.
“He wants to give you five dollars
for the job,” Borrochson repeated.
“For five dollars is different,”
Daiches answered. “I will be up in half
an hour. Should I bring it tools?”
Borrochson turned to Wolfson.
“He wants to know should he bring it tools,”
he said.
“Sure he should bring it tools,” Wolfson
cried; “powder also.”
“Powder!” Borrochson exclaimed. “What
for?”
“Powder what you blow it up with,” Wolfson
answered.
“Positively not,” Borrochson
declared. “I wouldn’t tell him nothing
about powder. Might you wouldn’t find nothing
in the safe, and when you blew it up already I couldn’t
sell it to Rubin for a button.”
He turned to the ’phone again.
“Hullo, Daiches!” he said.
“Bring up tools, sure; but remember what I tell
you, you shouldn’t do nothing to harm the looks
of the safe.”
“Sure not,” Daiches replied. “Good-bye.”
An hour later J. Daiches knocked at
the door of the store and was admitted by Borrochson.
“Mr. Wolfson,” he said, “this is
J. Daiches.”
“Pleased to meetcher,”
Daiches replied. “Which is the job what
I got to do it?”
They led him to the safe in the rear of the store.
“Why, that’s a safe what
myself I sold it,” Daiches exclaimed. “What’s
the matter with it?”
“Nothing’s the matter
with it,” Wolfson said. “Only Borrochson
should go outside on the sidewalk and stick there
until we get through.”
“Tell me, Wolfson,” Borrochson
said pleadingly, “why should I go outside?”
“An agreement is an agreement,”
Wolfson replied firmly, and Borrochson left the store
and slammed the door behind him.
“I’ll tell you the truth,
Mr. Wolfson,” Daiches said; “my name is
on the safe as maker, but I didn’t got nothing
to do with making the safe. I bought the safe
from a Broadway concern what put my name on the safe.
So if the combination gets stuck it’s up to them.”
“There ain’t nothing the
matter with the combination, Daiches,” Wolfson
said, “only I got it an idée that safe must
have a secret apartment.”
“A secret apartment!”
Daiches exclaimed. “Well, if that’s
the case somebody put it on after I sold it.”
Wolfson looked at Daiches, whose uninteresting
face expressed all the intelligence of a tailor’s
lay figure.
“Supposin’ they did,”
Wolfson said, “it’s your business to find
it out.”
“I thought you said it was a secret apartment.”
Wolfson made no reply; he felt that
he was leaning on a broken reed, but he commenced
to pull out the safe’s numerous drawers, all
of which contained cheap jewellery.
“Let me help you do that, Mr.
Wolfson,” Daiches said, and suited the action
to the word by seizing the top drawer on the left-hand
side of the safe. He jerked it clumsily from
its frame without supporting the rear, and the next
moment it fell heavily to the floor.
“Idiot!” Wolfson hissed,
but simultaneously Daiches emitted a cry.
He pointed excitedly to the floor
where the drawer lay upside down. A small velvet-lined
tray extended from the rear of the drawer, while scattered
on the floor beneath lay six unset diamonds that winked
and sparkled in the half-light of the shuttered store.
Wolfson made a dart for the stones
and had managed to tuck away three of them in his
waistcoat pocket when Borrochson burst into the store
and ran up to the safe.
“What’s the matter?” he gasped.
Wolfson wiped his forehead before replying.
“Nothing’s the matter,”
he croaked. “What for you come into the
store? Ain’t you agreed you shouldn’t?”
“Where did them diamonds come
from?” Borrochson demanded, pointing to the
three gems on the dusty floor.
“I dropped a drawer, the top
one on the left-hand side,” Daiches said, lifting
up the drawer and pointing to the secret slide in its
rear, “and this here little tray jumps out.”
Wolfson turned on the little safe
dealer with a terrible glare.
“You got to tell everything what you know,”
he bellowed.
Borrochson smiled grimly.
“I guess it’s a good thing
that I come in when I did, otherwise you would of
schmeared Daiches a fifty dollar note that he shouldn’t
tell me nothing about it, and then you would of copped
out them diamonds and told me you didn’t find
it nothing. Ain’t it?” he said.
Wolfson blushed.
“If you would say I am a thief,
Borrochson,” he thundered, “I will make
for you a couple blue eyes what you wouldn’t
like already.”
“I ain’t saying nothing,”
Borrochson replied. “All I want is you should
pay me four hundred dollars balance on the safe and
twenty-six hundred and fifty what we agreed on for
the store and I am satisfied.”
“And how about my five dollars?” Daiches
cried.
“That I will pay it you myself,” Borrochson
said.
“Don’t do me no favours,
Borrochson,” Wolfson exclaimed, “I will
settle with Daiches.”
“But,” Daiches broke in again, “how
about them diamonds, Mr. Wolfson?”
He looked significantly at Wolfson’s waistcoat
pocket.
“What diamonds?” Borrochson asked.
“He means the diamonds what
you just picked up off the floor,” Wolfson hastened
to explain. “He wants his rakeoff, too,
I suppose.”
He fastened another hypnotic glare
on the shrinking Daiches and, taking the remaining
diamonds from Borrochson, he put them with the others
in his vest pocket.
“Well,” he concluded,
“that I will settle with him, too. To-morrow
is Monday and we will all meet at Feldman’s
office at two o’clock. Daiches, you and
me will go downtown together and take it a little
dinner and some wine, maybe. What?”
He took Daiches’ arm in a viselike
grasp and started to lead him from the store.
“Hold on there!” Borrochson
cried. “How about them diamonds? You
got the diamonds and all I get is two hundred dollars.
What security have I got it that you don’t skip
out with the diamonds and give me the rinky-dinks?
Ain’t it?”
“About the stock and fixtures,
you got it a writing from me. Ain’t it?”
Wolfson cried. “And about the safe, Daiches
here is a witness. I give you two hundred dollars
a while ago, and the balance of four hundred dollars
I will pay it you to-morrow at two o’clock when
we close.”
He took the keys of the store from
Borrochson after the door was locked, and once more
he led Daiches to the street.
“Yes, Daiches,” he said,
as they neared the elevated station, “that’s
the way it is when a feller’s tongue runs away
with him. You pretty near done yourself out of
a fine diamond.”
“A fine diamond!” Daiches exclaimed.
“What d’ye mean?”
“I mean, if you wouldn’t
say nothing to Borrochson about them diamonds what
I stuck it in my waistcoat pocket before he seen ’em,
as soon as we close the deal I give you one.
Because if you should say something to Borrochson,
it would bust up the deal; and might he would sue me
in the courts for the diamonds already.”
A shrewd glitter came into Daiches’ eyes.
“That’s where you make
it a mistake, Mr. Wolfson,” he said. “If
you give it me the diamond now, Mr. Wolfson, I sure
wouldn’t say nothing to Borrochson about it,
because I run it the risk of losing the diamond if
I do. But if you wouldn’t give it me the
diamond till after the deal is closed, then you wouldn’t
need to give it me at all; y’understand?”
Wolfson stopped short in the middle of the sidewalk.
“You are a fine schwindler!” he said.
“Whether I am a schwindler or
I ain’t a schwindler, Mr. Wolfson, is got no
effect on me,” Daiches replied stolidly; “for
otherwise, if I don’t get it the diamond right
this minute I will go back and tell it all about the
diamonds to Borrochson.”
Wolfson clenched his right fist and
grasped Daiches by the shoulder with his left hand.
“You dirty dawg!” he began,
when a tall, slender person bumped into him.
The intruder was muttering to himself and his face
was ghastly with an almost unnatural whiteness.
“Rubin!” Wolfson cried,
and stared after the distracted Rubin who seemed to
stagger as he half ran down the street.
“Leggo from my arm,” Daiches said,
“or I’ll ”
Wolfson came to himself with a start.
After all, Rubin would be around the next day to buy
back his safe, and Wolfson argued that he might as
well be rid of Daiches.
“All right, Daiches,” he said, “I’ll
give you a diamond.”
He stopped under a lamppost and carefully
placed the six diamonds in a little row on the flat
of his hand between his second and third fingers.
Then he selected the smallest of the six stones and
handed it to Daiches.
“Take it and should you never
have no luck so long as you wear it,” he grunted.
“Don’t worry yourself
about that, Mr. Wolfson,” Daiches said with a
smile. “I ain’t going to wear it;
I’m going to sell it to-morrow.”
He folded it into a piece of paper
and placed it in his greasy wallet, out of which he
extracted a card.
“Here is also my card, Mr. Wolfson,”
he said with a smile. “Any time you want
some more work done by safes, let me know; that’s
all.”
When Borrochson and Wolfson met the
next afternoon in the office of the latter’s
attorney, Henry D. Feldman, they wasted no courtesy
on each other.
“Feldman has sent up and searched
the Register’s office for chattel mortgages
and conditional bill-off-sales, and he don’t
find none,” Wolfson announced. “So
everything is ready.”
“I’m glad to hear it,”
Borrochson said. “When I get into a piece
of business with a bloodsucker like you, Wolfson,
I am afraid for my life till I get through.”
“If I would be the kind of bloodsucker
what you are, Borrochson,” Wolfson retorted,
“I would be calling a decent, respectable man
out of his name. What did I ever done to you,
Borrochson?”
“You tried your best you should
do me, Wolfson,” Borrochson replied.
“You judge me by what you would
have done if you had been in my place, Borrochson,”
Wolfson rejoined.
“Never mind,” Borrochson
said. “Now we will close the whole thing
up, and I want it distinctively understood that there
should be no comebacks, Wolfson. You seen it
my stock and fixtures, also my safe?”
“Sure I seen it and examined
everything, and I don’t take your word for nothing,
Borrochson,” Wolfson declared as they were summoned
into the presence of Feldman himself.
There Borrochson executed a bill-of-sale
of the stock, fixtures, and safe, in which he swore
that he was their sole owner.
“It is distinctively understood,”
Borrochson said, as he dipped his pen in the ink to
sign the affidavit, “that I don’t guarantee
nothing but what I am the owner of the goods.
Quality and quantity he got to judge it for himself.”
Mr. Feldman bowed.
“In the absence of a specific
warranty the same doctrine applies in this as in any
other case,” he replied sonorously, “and
that is the doctrine of caveat emptor.”
“Caviare?” Wolfson murmured
in complete mystification. “What for caviare
is that?”
“Caveat, not caviare,”
Feldman replied. “Caveat emptor means
’Let the purchaser beware.’”
Wolfson heaved a deep sigh.
“I bet yer it applies in this
case,” he commented; “if ever a purchaser
had to beware it is in this case.”
Borrochson grunted and then pocketed
Wolfson’s certified check for the balance of
the purchase price, including the four hundred dollars
due for the safe. A minute later he departed,
leaving Feldman alone with his client.
“Mr. Feldman,” he said
as soon as Borrochson had gone, “supposing a
feller thinks that a safe has got diamonds into it,
and supposing I got that safe, but I know there ain’t
no diamonds into it because I took ’em out already.
And supposing that feller doesn’t think that
I know there was diamonds into the safe because them
diamonds was supposed to be in a secret apartment
what he only is supposed to know it. Supposing
he buys the safe from me, thinking them diamonds is
still into it, and pays me six hundred dollars for
a safe what is only worth fifty. Would there
be any comeback?”
“Decidedly not. And I sincerely
hope you haven’t been buying any such safe.”
“Gott soll hueten!” Wolfson exclaimed.
“No, indeed, there will be no
recourse to the vendor,” Feldman replied.
“The doctrine of caveat emptor would apply
in that case, too.”
Wolfson was effusive in his thanks
and hastened to return to his recently acquired jewellery
business.
When he left the elevated station
on the way to the store Wolfson glanced around him
for the haggard features and the attenuated form of
Rubin, but without avail. He unlocked the store
door and immediately made a thorough examination of
the stock and fixtures. Nothing was missing,
and, after consulting the figures furnished him by
Borrochson, he succeeded in opening the combination
lock of the Rubin safe. He took out the top drawer
on the left-hand side and scrutinized it carefully.
No one could have detected the secret slide, which
was now replaced. Nevertheless, he found that,
unless the drawer was handled with the utmost delicacy,
the secret slide invariably jerked out, for the slightest
jar released the controlling spring.
“The wonder is to me,”
he muttered, “not that Daiches and me discovered
it, but that Borrochson shouldn’t have found
it out.”
He pondered over the situation for
several minutes. If Rubin came in to buy the
safe, he argued, the first thing he would do would
be to look at the drawer, and in his feverish haste
the slide would be bound to open. Once Rubin
saw that the diamonds were missing the jig would be
up and he, Wolfson, would be stuck with the safe.
At length he slapped his thigh.
“I got it,” he said to
himself. “I’ll shut the safe and lock
it and claim I ain’t got the combination.
Borrochson must have changed it when he bought it
at Rubin’s bankruptcy sale, and so Rubin couldn’t
open it without an expert, anyhow. And I wouldn’t
bargain with Rubin, neither. He wants the safe
for five hundred dollars; he shall have it.”
After emptying it of all its contents
he closed and locked the safe and sat down to await
developments. Four o’clock struck from the
clock tower on Madison Square and Rubin had not arrived
yet, so Wolfson lit a fresh cigar and beguiled his
vigil with a paper he had found under the safe.
“I guess I’ll lock up
and go to my dinner,” he said at eight o’clock.
“To-morrow is another day, and if he don’t
come to-day he’ll come to-morrow yet.”
Half an hour later he sat at a table
in Glauber’s restaurant on Grand Street, consuming
a dish of paprika schnitzel. At the side
of his plate a cup of fragrant coffee steamed into
his nostrils and he felt at peace with all the world.
After the first cup he grew quite mollified toward
Borrochson, and it was even in his heart to pity Rubin
both for the loss he had sustained and the disappointment
he was still to suffer. As for Daiches, he had
completely passed out of Wolfson’s mind, but
just as pride goeth before a fall, ease is often the
immediate predecessor of discomfort.
Perhaps there is nothing more uncomfortable
than to receive a glassful of cold water in the back
of the neck, and although Wolfson’s neck bulged
over his celluloid collar so that none of the icy fluid
went down his back, the experience was far from agreeable.
After the shock had spent itself he turned around
to find J. Daiches struggling in the grasp of two
husky waiters.
“Schwindler!” Daiches
howled, as he was propelled violently toward the door.
“For all what I have done for you, you give me
a piece from glass.”
“Wait a bit!” Wolfson
cried. “What is that he says about a piece
from glass?”
But the waiters were too quick for
him, and Daiches struck the car tracks and bounded
east on Grand Street, toward his place of business,
before Wolfson had an opportunity to question him.
Wolfson returned to his table without
further appetite for his food. Hastily and with
trembling fingers he took from his wallet a tissue-paper
package wrapped after the fashion of a seidlitz powder.
This he opened and exposed five glittering gems, but
it seemed now to Wolfson that they possessed almost
a spurious brilliancy. He glanced around nervously
and at a table in the rear of the room he espied Sigmund
Pollak, the pawnbroker, who could appraise a gem at
a minute’s notice by virtue of his long experience
with impecunious customers.
At a frenzied gesture from Wolfson,
Pollak leisurely crossed the room.
“Hullo, Wolfson,” he said, “what’s
the trouble now?”
“Nothing,” Wolfson replied,
“only I want it you should do me a favour and
look at these here diamonds.”
Pollak examined them carefully.
“How much did you give for ’em?”
he asked.
“I didn’t give nothing
for ’em,” Wolfson replied. “I
found ’em in a safe what I bought it from a
feller by the name Philip Borrochson, in the jewellery
business.”
“Well,” Pollak replied
slowly, “you ain’t made nothing by ’em
and Borrochson ain’t lost nothing by ’em,
because they ain’t worth nothing. They’re
just paste. In fact, there’s a lot of that
stuff around nowadays. A feller by the name Daiches
showed me one of ’em about half an hour ago
yet, and wants to sell it to me. I offered him
a quarter for it.”
Pollak returned the paste gems to
Wolfson, who tossed them into his trousers-pocket
with a nonchalance engendered of many years’
poker playing.
“Have a little something to drink, Pollak?”
he said.
“Thanks, I shouldn’t mind
if I did,” Pollak replied. “By the
way, ain’t that your friend Borrochson what
is coming in now?”
Wolfson again turned around in his
chair, and this time, despite his poker training,
he was shaken out of all self-possession.
“Who’s this here tall,
white-face feller what comes in with him?” he
hissed.
“Him?” Pollak answered.
“Why, that’s a great friend from Borrochson’s,
a feller by the name Rubin what is one of the actors
by the Yiddisher theayter.”
Wolfson faced about again and essayed
to tackle his schnitzel.
“Say, Pollak,” he croaked,
“d’ye want to buy a good safe cheap?”