“How well my own heart knew
That voice so clear and true.”
The summer in the wolds, so long looked
forward to, was over. It had been very happy,
in spite of the rain having given the visitors at the
Skensdale farm-house rather more of his company than
they had bargained for, and it left many happy memories
behind it.
And the coming home again was happy
too. The days were beginning to “draw in”
as people say, and “home,” with its coal-fires-which,
though not so picturesque, are ever so much warmer
than wood ones, I assure you-its well-closing
doors and shutters, its nice carpets and curtains,
was after all a better place for chilly days and evenings
than even the most interesting of farm-houses.
And Ted had his school-work to think of too; he was
anxious to take a very good place at the next examinations,
for he was getting on for twelve, and “some day”
he knew that he would have to go out into the world
as it were, on his own account-to go away,
that is to say, to a big boarding-school, as Percy
had done before him.
He did work well, and he was rewarded,
and this Christmas was a very happy one.
There was plenty of skating, and Ted got on famously.
Indeed, he learnt to be so clever at it, that Cissy
used to feel quite proud, when people admired him
for it, to think that he was her brother, though Ted
himself took it quite simply. Skating was to him
the greatest pleasure he knew. To feel oneself
skimming along by one’s own will, and yet with
a power beyond oneself, was delightful past words.
“I do think,” thought
Ted to himself, one clear bright frosty day, when
the sky was as blue, almost, as in summer, “I
do think it’s as nice as flying.”
And then looking up, as he skimmed
along, at the beautiful sky which winter or summer
he loved so much, there came over him that same strange
sweet wonder-the questioning he could
not have put into words, as to whether the Heaven
he often thought of in his dreamy childish way, was
really up there, and what it was like, and what they
did there. It must be happy and bright-happier
and brighter even than down here, because there,
in some way that Ted knew that neither he nor the wisest
of mankind could explain, one would be nearer God.
But yet it was difficult to understand how it could
be much brighter and happier than this happy life
down below. There was no good trying to understand,
Ted decided. God understood, and that was enough.
And as He had made us so happy here, He might be trusted
to know what was best for us there. Only-yes,
that was the greatest puzzle of all, far more puzzling than anything
else-everybody
was not happy here-alas! no, Ted knew enough
to know that-many, many were not happy;
many, many were not good, and had never even had a
chance of becoming so. Ah, that was a puzzle!
“When I’m a man,”
thought Ted-and it was a thought that came
to him often-“I’ll try to do
something for those poor boys in London.”
For nothing had made more impression
on Ted, during his stay in London, than the sight
of the so-called “City Arabs,” and all
he had heard about them. He had even written
a story on the subject, taking for his hero a certain
“Tom,” whose adventures and misadventures
were most thrilling; ending, for Ted liked stories
that ended well, with his happy adoption into a kind-hearted
family, such as it is to be wished there were more
of to be found in real life! I should have liked
to tell you this story, and some day perhaps I shall
do so, but not, I fear, in this little book, for there
are even a great many things about Ted himself which
I shall not have room for.
There were other pleasures besides
skating this Christmas time. Among these there
was a very delightful entertainment given by some of
Ted’s father’s and mother’s friends
to a very large party, both old and young. It
was a regular Christmas gathering-so large
that the great big old-fashioned ball-room at the
“Red Lion” was engaged for the purpose.
Dear me, what a great many scenes
this old ball-room had witnessed! Election contests
without end, during three-quarters of a century and
more; balls of the old-world type, when the gentlemen
had powdered wigs and ribbon-tied “queues;”
which, no doubt, you irreverent little people of the
nineteenth century would call “pig-tails;”
and my Lady Grizzle from the hall once actually stuck
in the doorway, so ponderous was her head-gear, though
by dint of good management her hoop and furbelows
had been got through. And farther back still,
in the Roundhead days, when-so ran the
legend-a party of rollicking cavaliers,
and a company commanded by one Captain Holdfast Armstrong,
passed two succeeding nights in the Red Lion’s
ball-room, neither-so cleverly did the
cautious landlord manage-having the least
idea of the other’s near neighbourhood.
But never had the old ball-room seen
happier faces or heard merrier laughter than at this
Christmas party; and among the happy faces none was
brighter than our Ted’s. He really did enjoy
himself, though one of the youngest of the guests,
for Cissy had been pronounced too young, but
had reconciled herself to going to bed at her usual
hour, by Ted’s promise to tell her all about
it the next day. And besides his boy friends-Percy,
of course, who was home for the holidays, and Rex,
and several others-Ted had another companion
this evening whom he was very fond of. This was
a little girl about his own age, named Gertrude, the
daughter of a friend of his father’s. I
have not told you about her before, because, I suppose,
I have had so many things to tell, that I have felt
rather puzzled how to put them all in nicely, especially
as they are all simple, everyday things, with nothing
the least wonderful or remarkable about them.
Gertrude was a very dear little girl; she almost seemed
to Ted like another kind of sister. He had Mabel,
and Christine her sister, as big ones, and Cissy as
his own particular little one, and Gertrude seemed
to come in as a sort of companion sister, between
the big ones and the little one. Ted was very
rich in friends, you see, friends of all kinds.
He used often to count them up and say so to himself.
Well, this evening of the big Christmas
party was, as I said, one of the happiest he had ever
known. All his friends were there-all
looking as happy as happy could be.
“When I’m a man,”
thought Ted to himself, “I’d like to give
parties like this every Christmas,” and as he
looked round the room his eyes gleamed with pleasure.
Gertrude was standing beside him-they were
going to be partners in a country-dance, which was
a favourite of Ted’s. Just then his mother
came up to where they were standing.
“Ted, my boy,” she said,
“I am going home now. It is very late for
you already-half-past twelve. The
others, however, are staying later, but I think it
is quite time for you and me to be going, don’t
you?”
Ted’s face clouded-a most unusual
thing to happen.
“Gertrude isn’t going
yet,” he said, “and Rex and his brothers;
they’re staying later. O mother, must
I come now?”
His mother hesitated. She was
always reluctant to disappoint the children if it
could be helped, yet, on the other hand, she was even
more anxious not to spoil them. But the
sight of Ted’s eager face carried the day.
“Ah well,” she said, smiling,
“I suppose I must be indulgent for once and
go home without you. So good-night, Ted-you
will come with the others-I hope it won’t
be very late.”
As she turned away, it struck her
that Ted’s face did not look altogether
delighted.
“Poor Ted,” she said to
herself, “he doesn’t like to see me go
away alone.” But hoping he would enjoy
himself, and that he would not be too tired
“to-morrow morning,” she went home without
any misgiving, and she was not sorry to go. She
found the Christmas holidays and all they entailed
more fatiguing than did the children, for whom all
these pleasant things “grew” without preparation.
It was a rather dark night-so
thought Ted’s mother to herself as she glanced
out of her window for a moment before drawing the curtains
close and going to bed-all the house was
shut up, and all those who had stayed at home fast
asleep by this time, and it had been arranged that
the others should let themselves in with a latch-key.
Ted’s mother felt, therefore, rather surprised
and a little startled when she heard a bell ring;
at first she could hardly believe that she was not
mistaken, and to be quite sure she opened the window
and called out “Is there any one there?”
There was half a moment’s silence, then some
one came out a little from under the porch, where
he had been standing since ringing the bell, and a
well-known voice replied-how clearly and brightly its young tones rose up
through the frosty air-
“It is only I, mother.
I thought I’d rather come home after all.”
“You, Ted,” she replied;-“you,
and alone?”
“Yes, mother. I thought
somehow you’d like better to have me, so I just
ran home.”
“And weren’t you frightened,
Ted?” she said a little anxiously, but with
a glad feeling at her heart; “weren’t you
afraid to come through the lonely streets, and the
road, more lonely still, outside the town? For
it is very dark, and everything shut up-weren’t
you afraid?”
“Oh no, mother-not
a bit,” he replied, “only just when I had
left all the houses I did walk a little faster,
I think. But I’m so glad I came, if you’re
pleased, mother.”
And when his mother had opened the
door and let him in and given him a good-night kiss
even more loving than usual, Ted went to bed and to
sleep with a light happy heart, and his mother, as
she too fell asleep, thanked God for her boy.
I must now, I think, children, ask
you to pass over with me nearly a whole year of Ted’s
life. These holidays ended, came, by slow degrees
that year, the always welcome spring; then sunny summer
again, a bright and happy summer this, though spent
at my little friends’ own home instead of at
the Skensdale farm-house; then autumn with its shortening
days and lengthening evenings, gradually shortening
and lengthening into winter again; till at last Christmas
itself, like the familiar figure of an old friend,
whom, just turning the corner of the road where we
live, we descry coming to visit us, was to be seen
not so far off.
Many things had happened during this
year, which, though all such simple things, I should
like to tell you of but for the old restrictions of
time and space. And indeed I have to thank you
for having listened to me so long, for I blame myself
a little for not having told you more plainly at the
beginning that it was not a regular “story”
I had to tell you in the “carrots” coloured
book this year, but just some parts, simple and real,
of a child-life that I love to think of. And I
would have liked to leave it here-for some
reasons that is to say-or I would have
liked to tell how Ted grew up into such a man as his
boyhood promised-honest-hearted, loving,
and unselfish, and as happy as a true Christmas child
could not but be. But, dears, I cannot
tell you this, for it was not to be so. Yet I
am so anxious that the little book I have tried to
write in such a way that his happy life and nature
should be loved by other children-I am
so anxious that the ending of this little book should
not seem to you a sad one, at Christmas-time
too of all times, that I find it a little difficult
to say what has to be said. For in the truest
sense the close of my book is not sad.
I will just tell it simply as it really was, trusting
that you will know I love you all too well to wish
to throw any cloud over your bright faces and thoughts.
Well, as I said, this year had brought
many little events, some troubles of course, and much
good, to our Ted. He had grown a good deal taller,
and thinner too, and he never, even as a tiny toddler,
could have been called fat! But he was well and
strong, and had made good progress at school and good
progress too in other ways. He was getting on
famously at cricket and football, and was a first-rate
croquet-player, for croquet was then in fashion.
And the museum had not been neglected; it had really
grown into a very respectable and interesting museum,
so that not only Ted’s own people and near friends
were pleased to see it, but even his parents’
friends, and sometimes others, again, who happened
to be visiting them, would ask the little collector
to admit them. I really think it would be a good
thing if more boys took to having museums; it would
be a good thing for them, for nothing can be more amusing
and interesting too, and a very good thing for their
friends, especially in bad weather or in holiday-time,
when now and then the hours hang heavily on these
young people’s hands, and one is inclined to
wish that some fancy work for boys could be
invented. Ted’s museum had grown very much,
and was always a great resource for him and for Cissy
too, for, to tell the truth, her tastes were rather
boyish.
His library had grown too. I
cannot tell you how many nice books he had, and still
less could I tell you how he treasured them. When,
through much service, some of them grew weak in the
back, he would, though reluctantly, consent to have
them re-bound; and he had a pretty, and to my mind
a touching, way of showing his affection for these
old friends, which I never heard of in any other child.
Before a book of his went to be bound he would carefully-tenderly
I might almost say-cut off the old cover
and lay it aside; and among the many sweet traces left
by our boy-but I did not mean to say that,
only as it came naturally of itself I will leave it-few
went more to his mother’s heart than to find
in one of his drawers the packet carefully tied up
of his dear books’ old coats.
Nothing gave Ted so much pleasure
as a present of a book. This Christmas he had
set his heart on one, and Christmas was really coming
so near that he had begun to think of presents, and
to write out, as was his habit, a list of all the
people in the house, putting opposite the name of
each the present he had reason to think would be most
acceptable. The list ended in a modest-looking
“self,” and opposite “self”
was written “a book.” But all the
other presents would have to be thought over and consulted
about with mother-all except hers of course,
which in its turn would have to be discussed with
his father or Mabel perhaps-ever so many
times, before it came to the actual buying.
One Sunday-it was about
three weeks to Christmas by this time-the
head master of Ted’s school, who was also a
clergyman, mentioned after the usual service that
he wished to have a special thanksgiving service this
year for the good health that had been enjoyed by the
boys this “half.” It had been almost
exceptionally good, he said; and he himself, for one,
and he was sure every one connected with the school
would feel the same, was very thankful for
it.
Ted’s mother and Mabel, who
were both, as it happened, at the school chapel service
that afternoon, glanced at their boy when this announcement
was made. They knew well that, despite his merry
heart, Ted was sensitive to things that do not affect
all children, and they were not surprised to see his
cheeks grow a little paler. There was something
in the thought of this solemn Thanksgiving, in which
he was to take part, that gave him a little of the
same feeling as he had had long ago in the grand old
church, when he looked up to the lofty roof, shrouded
in a mystery of dim light his childish eyes could not
pierce, and the sudden carillon broke out as if sung
by the angels in heaven.
And a little chill struck to his mother’s
heart; she knew the service was a good and fitting
acknowledgment of God’s care, and yet a strange
feeling went through her, for which she blamed herself,
almost like that of the poor Irishwomen, who, when
any one remarks on the beauty and healthiness of their
children, hasten to cross themselves and to murmur
softly “In a good hour be it spoken.”
For human nature, above all mother nature,
is the same all the world over!
But on their way home she and Mabel
talked it over, and decided that it was better to
say nothing about it to Ted.
“It would only deepen the impression
and make him nervous,” said Mabel wisely.
A day or two later-a damp,
rainy day it had been, there were a good many such
about this time-Ted’s mother, entering
the drawing-room in the evening, heard some one softly
singing to himself, gently touching the piano at the
same time. It was already dusk, and she went in
very quietly. The little musician did not hear
her, and she sat down in silence for a moment to listen,
for it was Ted, and the song in his sweet, clear tones-tones
with a strange touch of sadness in them like the church
bells, was “Home, sweet home.”
It brought the tears to her eyes.
“Ted,” she said at last.
“O mother,” he said, “I didn’t
know you were there.”
“But you don’t mind me,”
she said.
Ted hesitated.
“I don’t know how it is,
mother,” he said, frankly. “It isn’t
as if I could sing, you know. But I can’t
even try to do it when anybody’s there.
Is it silly, mother?”
“It’s very natural,”
she said, kindly. “But if it gives me pleasure
to hear you?”
“Yes,” he said, gently.
“And when you’re a man I hope and think
you may have a nice voice.”
“Yes,” he said again, rather absently.
Something in his tone struck his mother; it sounded
tired.
“You’re quite well, Ted, aren’t
you?” she said.
“Oh yes, mother-just
a very little tired. It’s been such a rainy
day; it isn’t like Christmas coming so soon,
is it? There’s no snow and no skating.”
“No, dear.”
“There was no snow the Christmas I was born,
was there, mother?”
“No, dear,” said his mother again.
Ted gave a little sigh.
“You’re going to Rex’s to-night;
it is his party, isn’t it?” she asked.
“Yes,” he replied, “but I don’t
seem to care much to go.”
“But you’re quite well,
I think,” said his mother cheerfully. “It
would be unkind not to go when they are all expecting
you.”
“Yes,” said Ted. “It would
be.”
So he went off to get ready; and his
mother felt pleased, thinking the dull weather had,
for a wonder, affected his spirits, and that the merry
evening with his friends would do him good.