Ben Granger is a war veteran aged
twenty-nine which should enable you to
guess the war. He is also principal merchant and
postmaster of Cadiz, a little town over which the
breezes from the Gulf of Mexico perpetually blow.
Ben helped to hurl the Don from his
stronghold in the Greater Antilles; and then, hiking
across half the world, he marched as a corporal-usher
up and down the blazing tropic aisles of the open-air
college in which the Filipino was schooled. Now,
with his bayonet beaten into a cheese-slicer, he rallies
his corporal’s guard of cronies in the shade
of his well-whittled porch, instead of in the matted
jungles of Mindanao. Always have his interest
and choice been for deeds rather than for words; but
the consideration and digestion of motives is not
beyond him, as this story, which is his, will attest.
“What is it,” he asked
me one moonlit eve, as we sat among his boxes and
barrels, “that generally makes men go through
dangers, and fire, and trouble, and starvation, and
battle, and such recourses? What does a man do
it for? Why does he try to outdo his fellow-humans,
and be braver and stronger and more daring and showy
than even his best friends are? What’s
his game? What does he expect to get out of it?
He don’t do it just for the fresh air and exercise.
What would you say, now, Bill, that an ordinary man
expects, generally speaking, for his efforts along
the line of ambition and extraordinary hustling in
the marketplaces, forums, shooting-galleries, lyceums,
battle-fields, links, cinder-paths, and arenas of
the civilized and vice versa places of the
world?”
“Well, Ben,” said I, with
judicial seriousness, “I think we might safely
limit the number of motives of a man who seeks fame
to three to ambition, which is a desire
for popular applause; to avarice, which looks to the
material side of success; and to love of some woman
whom he either possesses or desires to possess.”
Ben pondered over my words while a
mocking-bird on the top of a mesquite by the porch
trilled a dozen bars.
“I reckon,” said he, “that
your diagnosis about covers the case according to
the rules laid down in the copy-books and historical
readers. But what I had in my mind was the case
of Willie Robbins, a person I used to know. I’ll
tell you about him before I close up the store, if
you don’t mind listening.
“Willie was one of our social
set up in San Augustine. I was clerking there
then for Brady & Murchison, wholesale dry-goods and
ranch supplies. Willie and I belonged to the
same german club and athletic association and military
company. He played the triangle in our serenading
and quartet crowd that used to ring the welkin three
nights a week somewhere in town.
“Willie jibed with his name
considerable. He weighed about as much as a hundred
pounds of veal in his summer suitings, and he had a
‘Where-is-Mary?’ expression on his features
so plain that you could almost see the wool growing
on him.
“And yet you couldn’t
fence him away from the girls with barbed wire.
You know that kind of young fellows a kind
of a mixture of fools and angels they rush
in and fear to tread at the same time; but they never
fail to tread when they get the chance. He was
always on hand when ’a joyful occasion was had,’
as the morning paper would say, looking as happy as
a king full, and at the same time as uncomfortable
as a raw oyster served with sweet pickles. He
danced like he had hind hobbles on; and he had a vocabulary
of about three hundred and fifty words that he made
stretch over four germans a week, and plagiarized from
to get him through two ice-cream suppers and a Sunday-night
call. He seemed to me to be a sort of a mixture
of Maltese kitten, sensitive plant, and a member of
a stranded ‘Two Orphans’ company.
“I’ll give you an estimate
of his physiological and pictorial make-up, and then
I’ll stick spurs into the sides of my narrative.
“Willie inclined to the Caucasian
in his coloring and manner of style. His hair
was opalescent and his conversation fragmentary.
His eyes were the same blue shade as the china dog’s
on the right-hand corner of your Aunt Ellen’s
mantelpiece. He took things as they came, and
I never felt any hostility against him. I let
him live, and so did others.
“But what does this Willie do
but coax his heart out of his boots and lose it to
Myra Allison, the liveliest, brightest, keenest, smartest,
and prettiest girl in San Augustine. I tell you,
she had the blackest eyes, the shiniest curls, and
the most tantalizing Oh, no, you’re
off I wasn’t a victim. I might
have been, but I knew better. I kept out.
Joe Granberry was It from the start. He had everybody
else beat a couple of leagues and thence east to a
stake and mound. But, anyhow, Myra was a nine-pound,
full-merino, fall-clip fleece, sacked and loaded on
a four-horse team for San Antone.
“One night there was an ice-cream
sociable at Mrs. Colonel Spraggins’, in San
Augustine. We fellows had a big room up-stairs
opened up for us to put our hats and things in, and
to comb our hair and put on the clean collars we brought
along inside the sweat-bands of our hats in
short, a room to fix up in just like they have everywhere
at high-toned doings. A little farther down the
hall was the girls’ room, which they used to
powder up in, and so forth. Downstairs we that
is, the San Augustine Social Cotillion and Merrymakers’
Club had a stretcher put down in the parlor
where our dance was going on.
“Willie Robbins and me happened
to be up in our cloak-room, I believe we
called it when Myra Allison skipped through
the hall on her way down-stairs from the girls’
room. Willie was standing before the mirror,
deeply interested in smoothing down the blond grass-plot
on his head, which seemed to give him lots of trouble.
Myra was always full of life and devilment. She
stopped and stuck her head in our door. She certainly
was good-looking. But I knew how Joe Granberry
stood with her. So did Willie; but he kept on
ba-a-a-ing after her and following her around.
He had a system of persistence that didn’t coincide
with pale hair and light eyes.
“‘Hello, Willie!’
says Myra. ’What are you doing to yourself
in the glass?’
“‘I’m trying to look fly,’
says Willie.
“‘Well, you never could
be fly,’ says Myra, with her special laugh,
which was the provokingest sound I ever heard except
the rattle of an empty canteen against my saddle-horn.
“I looked around at Willie after
Myra had gone. He had a kind of a lily-white
look on him which seemed to show that her remark had,
as you might say, disrupted his soul. I never
noticed anything in what she said that sounded particularly
destructive to a man’s ideas of self-consciousness;
but he was set back to an extent you could scarcely
imagine.
“After we went down-stairs with
our clean collars on, Willie never went near Myra
again that night. After all, he seemed to be a
diluted kind of a skim-milk sort of a chap, and I
never wondered that Joe Granberry beat him out.
“The next day the battleship
Maine was blown up, and then pretty soon somebody I
reckon it was Joe Bailey, or Ben Tillman, or maybe
the Government declared war against Spain.
“Well, everybody south of Mason
& Hamlin’s line knew that the North by itself
couldn’t whip a whole country the size of Spain.
So the Yankees commenced to holler for help, and the
Johnny Rebs answered the call. ’We’re
coming, Father William, a hundred thousand strong and
then some,’ was the way they sang it. And
the old party lines drawn by Sherman’s march
and the Kuklux and nine-cent cotton and the Jim Crow
street-car ordinances faded away. We became one
undivided. country, with no North, very little East,
a good-sized chunk of West, and a South that loomed
up as big as the first foreign label on a new eight-dollar
suit-case.
“Of course the dogs of war weren’t
a complete pack without a yelp from the San Augustine
Rifles, Company D, of the Fourteenth Texas Regiment.
Our company was among the first to land in Cuba and
strike terror into the hearts of the foe. I’m
not going to give you a history of the war, I’m
just dragging it in to fill out my story about Willie
Robbins, just as the Republican party dragged it in
to help out the election in 1898.
“If anybody ever had heroitis,
it was that Willie Robbins. From the minute he
set foot on the soil of the tyrants of Castile he seemed
to engulf danger as a cat laps up cream. He certainly
astonished every man in our company, from the captain
up. You’d have expected him to gravitate
naturally to the job of an orderly to the colonel,
or typewriter in the commissary but not
any. He created the part of the flaxen-haired
boy hero who lives and gets back home with the goods,
instead of dying with an important despatch in his
hands at his colonel’s feet.
“Our company got into a section
of Cuban scenery where one of the messiest and most
unsung portions of the campaign occurred. We were
out every day capering around in the bushes, and having
little skirmishes with the Spanish troops that looked
more like kind of tired-out feuds than anything else.
The war was a joke to us, and of no interest to them.
We never could see it any other way than as a howling
farce-comedy that the San Augustine Rifles were actually
fighting to uphold the Stars and Stripes. And
the blamed little senors didn’t get enough pay
to make them care whether they were patriots or traitors.
Now and then somebody would get killed. It seemed
like a waste of life to me. I was at Coney Island
when I went to New York once, and one of them down-hill
skidding apparatuses they call ‘roller-coasters’
flew the track and killed a man in a brown sack-suit.
Whenever the Spaniards shot one of our men, it struck
me as just about as unnecessary and regrettable as
that was.
“But I’m dropping Willie Robbins out of
the conversation.
“He was out for bloodshed, laurels,
ambition, medals, recommendations, and all other forms
of military glory. And he didn’t seem to
be afraid of any of the recognized forms of military
danger, such as Spaniards, cannon-balls, canned beef,
gunpowder, or nepotism. He went forth with his
pallid hair and china-blue eyes and ate up Spaniards
like you would sardines a la canopy. Wars
and rumbles of wars never flustered him. He would
stand guard-duty, mosquitoes, hardtack, treat, and
fire with equally perfect unanimity. No blondes
in history ever come in comparison distance of him
except the Jack of Diamonds and Queen Catherine of
Russia.
“I remember, one time, a little
caballard of Spanish men sauntered out from
behind a patch of sugar-cane and shot Bob Turner, the
first sergeant of our company, while we were eating
dinner. As required by the army regulations,
we fellows went through the usual tactics of falling
into line, saluting the enemy, and loading and firing,
kneeling.
“That wasn’t the Texas
way of scrapping; but, being a very important addendum
and annex to the regular army, the San Augustine Rifles
had to conform to the red-tape system of getting even.
“By the time we had got out
our ‘Upton’s Tactics,’ turned to
page fifty-seven, said ‘one two three one two three’
a couple of times, and got blank cartridges into our
Springfields, the Spanish outfit had smiled repeatedly,
rolled and lit cigarettes by squads, and walked away
contemptuously.
“I went straight to Captain
Floyd, and says to him: ’Sam, I don’t
think this war is a straight game. You know as
well as I do that Bob Turner was one of the whitest
fellows that ever threw a leg over a saddle, and now
these wirepullers in Washington have fixed his clock.
He’s politically and ostensibly dead. It
ain’t fair. Why should they keep this thing
up? If they want Spain licked, why don’t
they turn the San Augustine Rifles and Joe Seely’s
ranger company and a car-load of West Texas deputy-sheriffs
onto these Spaniards, and let us exonerate them from
the face of the earth? I never did,’ says
I, ’care much about fighting by the Lord Chesterfield
ring rules. I’m going to hand in my resignation
and go home if anybody else I am personally acquainted
with gets hurt in this war. If you can get somebody
in my place, Sam,’ says I, ’I’ll
quit the first of next week. I don’t want
to work in an army that don’t give its help a
chance. Never mind my wages,’ says I; ’let
the Secretary of the Treasury keep ‘em.’
“‘Well, Ben,’ says
the captain to me, ’your allegations and estimations
of the tactics of war, government, patriotism, guard-mounting,
and democracy are all right. But I’ve looked
into the system of international arbitration and the
ethics of justifiable slaughter a little closer, maybe,
than you have. Now, you can hand in your resignation
the first of next week if you are so minded. But
if you do,’ says Sam, ’I’ll order
a corporal’s guard to take you over by that
limestone bluff on the creek and shoot enough lead
into you to ballast a submarine air-ship. I’m
captain of this company, and I’ve swore allegiance
to the Amalgamated States regardless of sectional,
secessional, and Congressional differences. Have
you got any smoking-tobacco?’ winds up Sam.
’Mine got wet when I swum the creek this morning.’
“The reason I drag all this
non ex parte evidence in is because Willie
Robbins was standing there listening to us. I
was a second sergeant and he was a private then, but
among us Texans and Westerners there never was as
much tactics and subordination as there was in the
regular army. We never called our captain anything
but ‘Sam’ except when there was a lot
of major-generals and admirals around, so as to preserve
the discipline.
“And says Willie Robbins to
me, in a sharp construction of voice much unbecoming
to his light hair and previous record:
“’You ought to be shot,
Ben, for emitting any such sentiments. A man
that won’t fight for his country is worse than
a horse-thief. If I was the cap, I’d put
you in the guard-house for thirty days on round steak
and tamales. War,’ says Willie, ’is
great and glorious. I didn’t know you were
a coward.’
“‘I’m not,’
says I. ’If I was, I’d knock some
of the pallidness off of your marble brow. I’m
lenient with you,’ I says, ’just as I am
with the Spaniards, because you have always reminded
me of something with mushrooms on the side. Why,
you little Lady of Shalott,’ says I, ’you
underdone leader of cotillions, you glassy fashion
and moulded form, you white-pine soldier made in the
Cisalpine Alps in Germany for the late New-Year trade,
do you know of whom you are talking to? We’ve
been in the same social circle,’ says I, ’and
I’ve put up with you because you seemed so meek
and self-un-satisfying. I don’t understand
why you have so sudden taken a personal interest in
chivalrousness and murder. Your nature’s
undergone a complete revelation. Now, how is
it?’
“‘Well, you wouldn’t
understand, Ben,’ says Willie, giving one of
his refined smiles and turning away.
“‘Come back here!’
says I, catching him by the tail of his khaki coat.
’You’ve made me kind of mad, in spite of
the aloofness in which I have heretofore held you.
You are out for making a success in this hero business,
and I believe I know what for. You are doing it
either because you are crazy or because you expect
to catch some girl by it. Now, if it’s
a girl, I’ve got something here to show you.’
“I wouldn’t have done
it, but I was plumb mad. I pulled a San Augustine
paper out of my hip-pocket, and showed him an item.
It was a half a column about the marriage of Myra
Allison and Joe Granberry.
“Willie laughed, and I saw I hadn’t touched
him.
“‘Oh,’ says he,
’everybody knew that was going to happen.
I heard about that a week ago.’ And then
he gave me the laugh again.
“‘All right,’ says
I. ’Then why do you so recklessly chase
the bright rainbow of fame? Do you expect to
be elected President, or do you belong to a suicide
club?’
“And then Captain Sam interferes.
“‘You gentlemen quit jawing
and go back to your quarters,’ says he, ’or
I’ll have you escorted to the guard-house.
Now, scat, both of you! Before you go, which
one of you has got any chewing-tobacco?’
“‘We’re off, Sam,’
says I. ’It’s supper-time, anyhow.
But what do you think of what we was talking about?
I’ve noticed you throwing out a good many grappling-hooks
for this here balloon called fame What’s
ambition, anyhow? What does a man risk his life
day after day for? Do you know of anything he
gets in the end that can pay him for the trouble?
I want to go back home,’ says I. ’I
don’t care whether Cuba sinks or swims, and
I don’t give a pipeful of rabbit tobacco whether
Queen Sophia Christina or Charlie Culberson rules these
fairy isles; and I don’t want my name on any
list except the list of survivors. But I’ve
noticed you, Sam,’ says I, ’seeking the
bubble notoriety in the cannon’s larynx a number
of times. Now, what do you do it for? Is
it ambition, business, or some freckle-faced Phoebe
at home that you are heroing for?’
“‘Well, Ben,’ says
Sam, kind of hefting his sword out from between his
knees, ’as your superior officer I could court-martial
you for attempted cowardice and desertion. But
I won’t. And I’ll tell you why I’m
trying for promotion and the usual honors of war and
conquest. A major gets more pay than a captain,
and I need the money.’
“‘Correct for you!’
says I. ’I can understand that. Your
system of fame-seeking is rooted in the deepest soil
of patriotism. But I can’t comprehend,’
says I, ’why Willie Robbins, whose folks at home
are well off, and who used to be as meek and undesirous
of notice as a cat with cream on his whiskers, should
all at once develop into a warrior bold with the most
fire-eating kind of proclivities. And the girl
in his case seems to have been eliminated by marriage
to another fellow. I reckon,’ says I, ’it’s
a plain case of just common ambition. He wants
his name, maybe, to go thundering down the coroners
of time. It must be that.’
“Well, without itemizing his
deeds, Willie sure made good as a hero. He simply
spent most of his time on his knees begging our captain
to send him on forlorn hopes and dangerous scouting
expeditions. In every fight he was the first
man to mix it at close quarters with the Don Alfonsos.
He got three or four bullets planted in various parts
of his autonomy. Once he went off with a detail
of eight men and captured a whole company of Spanish.
He kept Captain Floyd busy writing out recommendations
of his bravery to send in to headquarters; and he
began to accumulate medals for all kinds of things heroism
and target-shooting and valor and tactics and uninsubordination,
and all the little accomplishments that look good
to the third assistant secretaries of the War Department.
“Finally, Cap Floyd got promoted
to be a major-general, or a knight commander of the
main herd, or something like that. He pounded
around on a white horse, all desecrated up with gold-leaf
and hen-feathers and a Good Templar’s hat, and
wasn’t allowed by the regulations to speak to
us. And Willie Robbins was made captain of our
company.
“And maybe he didn’t go
after the wreath of fame then! As far as I could
see it was him that ended the war. He got eighteen
of us boys friends of his, too killed
in battles that he stirred up himself, and that didn’t
seem to me necessary at all. One night he took
twelve of us and waded through a little rill about
a hundred and ninety yards wide, and climbed a couple
of mountains, and sneaked through a mile of neglected
shrubbery and a couple of rock-quarries and into a
rye-straw village, and captured a Spanish general named,
as they said, Benny Veedus. Benny seemed to me
hardly worth the trouble, being a blackish man without
shoes or cuffs, and anxious to surrender and throw
himself on the commissary of his foe.
“But that job gave Willie the
big boost he wanted. The San Augustine News
and the Galveston, St. Louis, New York, and Kansas
City papers printed his picture and columns of stuff
about him. Old San Augustine simply went crazy
over its ‘gallant son.’ The News
had an editorial tearfully begging the Government
to call off the regular army and the national guard,
and let Willie carry on the rest of the war single-handed.
It said that a refusal to do so would be regarded as
a proof that the Northern jealousy of the South was
still as rampant as ever.
“If the war hadn’t ended
pretty soon, I don’t know to what heights of
gold braid and encomiums Willie would have climbed;
but it did. There was a secession of hostilities
just three days after he was appointed a colonel,
and got in three more medals by registered mail, and
shot two Spaniards while they were drinking lemonade
in an ambuscade.
“Our company went back to San
Augustine when the war was over. There wasn’t
anywhere else for it to go. And what do you think?
The old town notified us in print, by wire cable,
special delivery, and a nigger named Saul sent on
a gray mule to San Antone, that they was going to
give us the biggest blow-out, complimentary, alimentary,
and elementary, that ever disturbed the kildees on
the sand-flats outside of the immediate contiguity
of the city.
“I say ‘we,’ but
it was all meant for ex-Private, Captain de facto,
and Colonel-elect Willie Robbins. The town was
crazy about him. They notified us that the reception
they were going to put up would make the Mardi Gras
in New Orleans look like an afternoon tea in Bury St.
Edmunds with a curate’s aunt.
“Well, the San Augustine Rifles
got back home on schedule time. Everybody was
at the depot giving forth Roosevelt-Democrat they
used to be called Rebel yells. There
was two brass-bands, and the mayor, and schoolgirls
in white frightening the street-car horses by throwing
Cherokee roses in the streets, and well,
maybe you’ve seen a celebration by a town that
was inland and out of water.
“They wanted Brevet-Colonel
Willie to get into a carriage and be drawn by prominent
citizens and some of the city aldermen to the armory,
but he stuck to his company and marched at the head
of it up Sam Houston Avenue. The buildings on
both sides was covered with flags and audiences, and
everybody hollered ‘Robbins!’ or ‘Hello,
Willie!’ as we marched up in files of fours.
I never saw a illustriouser-looking human in my life
than Willie was. He had at least seven or eight
medals and diplomas and decorations on the breast of
his khaki coat; he was sunburnt the color of a saddle,
and he certainly done himself proud.
“They told us at the depot that
the courthouse was to be illuminated at half-past
seven, and there would be speeches and chili-con-carne
at the Palace Hotel. Miss Delphine Thompson was
to read an original poem by James Whitcomb Ryan, and
Constable Hooker had promised us a salute of nine
guns from Chicago that he had arrested that day.
“After we had disbanded in the armory, Willie
says to me:
“‘Want to walk out a piece with me?’
“‘Why, yes,’ says
I, ’if it ain’t so far that we can’t
hear the tumult and the shouting die away. I’m
hungry myself,’ says I, ’and I’m
pining for some home grub, but I’ll go with you.’
“Willie steered me down some
side streets till we came to a little white cottage
in a new lot with a twenty-by-thirty-foot lawn decorated
with brickbats and old barrel-staves.
“‘Halt and give the countersign,’
says I to Willie. ’Don’t you know
this dugout? It’s the bird’s-nest
that Joe Granberry built before he married Myra Allison.
What you going there for?’
“But Willie already had the
gate open. He walked up the brick walk to the
steps, and I went with him. Myra was sitting in
a rocking-chair on the porch, sewing. Her hair
was smoothed back kind of hasty and tied in a knot.
I never noticed till then that she had freckles.
Joe was at one side of the porch, in his shirt-sleeves,
with no collar on, and no signs of a shave, trying
to scrape out a hole among the brickbats and tin cans
to plant a little fruit-tree in. He looked up
but never said a word, and neither did Myra.
“Willie was sure dandy-looking
in his uniform, with medals strung on his breast and
his new gold-handled sword. You’d never
have taken him for the little white-headed snipe that
the girls used to order about and make fun of.
He just stood there for a minute, looking at Myra
with a peculiar little smile on his face; and then
he says to her, slow, and kind of holding on to his
words with his teeth:
“‘Oh, I don’t know! Maybe
I could if I tried!’
“That was all that was said.
Willie raised his hat, and we walked away.
“And, somehow, when he said
that, I remembered, all of a sudden, the night of
that dance and Willie brushing his hair before the
looking-glass, and Myra sticking her head in the door
to guy him.
“When we got back to Sam Houston Avenue, Willie
says:
“’Well, so long, Ben.
I’m going down home and get off my shoes and
take a rest.’
“‘You?’ says I.
’What’s the matter with you? Ain’t
the court-house jammed with everybody in town waiting
to honor the hero? And two brass-bands, and recitations
and flags and jags and grub to follow waiting for
you?’
“Willie sighs.
“‘All right, Ben,’
says he. ’Darned if I didn’t forget
all about that.’
“And that’s why I say,”
concluded Ben Granger, “that you can’t
tell where ambition begins any more than you can where
it is going to wind up.”