The most notable thing about Time
is that it is so purely relative. A large amount
of reminiscence is, by common consent, conceded to
the drowning man; and it is not past belief that one
may review an entire courtship while removing one’s
gloves.
That is what Trysdale was doing, standing
by a table in his bachelor apartments. On the
table stood a singular-looking green plant in a red
earthen jar. The plant was one of the species
of cacti, and was provided with long, tentacular leaves
that perpetually swayed with the slightest breeze
with a peculiar beckoning motion.
Trysdale’s friend, the brother
of the bride, stood at a sideboard complaining at
being allowed to drink alone. Both men were in
evening dress. White favors like stars upon
their coats shone through the gloom of the apartment.
As he slowly unbuttoned his gloves,
there passed through Trysdale’s mind a swift,
scarifying retrospect of the last few hours.
It seemed that in his nostrils was still the scent
of the flowers that had been banked in odorous masses
about the church, and in his ears the lowpitched hum
of a thousand well-bred voices, the rustle of crisp
garments, and, most insistently recurring, the drawling
words of the minister irrevocably binding her to another.
From this last hopeless point of view
he still strove, as if it had become a habit of his
mind, to reach some conjecture as to why and how he
had lost her. Shaken rudely by the uncompromising
fact, he had suddenly found himself confronted by
a thing he had never before faced his own
innermost, unmitigated, arid unbedecked self.
He saw all the garbs of pretence and egoism that
he had worn now turn to rags of folly. He shuddered
at the thought that to others, before now, the garments
of his soul must have appeared sorry and threadbare.
Vanity and conceit? These were the joints in
his armor. And how free from either she had
always been But why
As she had slowly moved up the aisle
toward the altar he had felt an unworthy, sullen exultation
that had served to support him. He had told
himself that her paleness was from thoughts of another
than the man to whom she was about to give herself.
But even that poor consolation had been wrenched
from him. For, when he saw that swift, limpid,
upward look that she gave the man when he took her
hand, he knew himself to be forgotten. Once
that same look had been raised to him, and he had
gauged its meaning. Indeed, his conceit had crumbled;
its last prop was gone. Why had it ended thus?
There had been no quarrel between them, nothing
For the thousandth time he remarshalled
in his mind the events of those last few days before
the tide had so suddenly turned.
She had always insisted upon placing
him upon a pedestal, and he had accepted her homage
with royal grandeur. It had been a very sweet
incense that she had burned before him; so modest (he
told himself); so childlike and worshipful, and (he
would once have sworn) so sincere. She had invested
him with an almost supernatural number of high attributes
and excellencies and talents, and he had absorbed the
oblation as a desert drinks the rain that can coax
from it no promise of blossom or fruit.
As Trysdale grimly wrenched apart
the seam of his last glove, the crowning instance
of his fatuous and tardily mourned egoism came vividly
back to him. The scene was the night when he
had asked her to come up on his pedestal with him
and share his greatness. He could not, now,
for the pain of it, allow his mind to dwell upon the
memory of her convincing beauty that night the
careless wave of her hair, the tenderness and virginal
charm of her looks and words. But they had been
enough, and they had brought him to speak. During
their conversation she had said:
“And Captain Carruthers tells
me that you speak the Spanish language like a native.
Why have you hidden this accomplishment from me?
Is there anything you do not know?”
Now, Carruthers was an idiot.
No doubt he (Trysdale) had been guilty (he sometimes
did such things) of airing at the club some old, canting
Castilian proverb dug from the hotchpotch at the back
of dictionaries. Carruthers, who was one of his
incontinent admirers, was the very man to have magnified
this exhibition of doubtful erudition.
But, alas! the incense of her admiration
had been so sweet and flattering. He allowed
the imputation to pass without denial. Without
protest, he allowed her to twine about his brow this
spurious bay of Spanish scholarship. He let
it grace his conquering head, and, among its soft
convolutions, he did not feel the prick of the thorn
that was to pierce him later.
How glad, how shy, how tremulous she
was! How she fluttered like a snared bird when
he laid his mightiness at her feet! He could
have sworn, and he could swear now, that unmistakable
consent was in her eyes, but, coyly, she would give
him no direct answer. “I will send you
my answer to-morrow,” she said; and he, the indulgent,
confident victor, smilingly granted the delay.
The next day he waited, impatient, in his rooms for
the word. At noon her groom came to the door
and left the strange cactus in the red earthen jar.
There was no note, no message, merely a tag upon
the plant bearing a barbarous foreign or botanical
name. He waited until night, but her answer did
not come. His large pride and hurt vanity kept
him from seeking her. Two evenings later they
met at a dinner. Their greetings were conventional,
but she looked at him, breathless, wondering, eager.
He was courteous, adamant, waiting her explanation.
With womanly swiftness she took her cue from his
manner, and turned to snow and ice. Thus, and
wider from this on, they had drifted apart. Where
was his fault? Who had been to blame?
Humbled now, he sought the answer amid the ruins of
his self-conceit. If
The voice of the other man in the
room, querulously intruding upon his thoughts, aroused
him.
“I say, Trysdale, what the deuce
is the matter with you? You look unhappy as
if you yourself had been married instead of having
acted merely as an accomplice. Look at me, another
accessory, come two thousand miles on a garlicky,
cockroachy banana steamer all the way from South America
to connive at the sacrifice please to observe
how lightly my guilt rests upon my shoulders.
Only little sister I had, too, and now she’s
gone. Come now! take something to ease your
conscience.”
“I don’t drink just now, thanks,”
said Trysdale.
“Your brandy,” resumed
the other, coming over and joining him, “is
abominable. Run down to see me some time at Punta
Redonda, and try some of our stuff that old Garcia
smuggles in. It’s worth the trip.
Hallo! here’s an old acquaintance. Wherever
did you rake up this cactus, Trysdale?”
“A present,” said Trysdale,
“from a friend. Know the species?”
“Very well. It’s
a tropical concern. See hundreds of ’em
around Punta every day. Here’s the name
on this tag tied to it. Know any Spanish, Trysdale?”
“No,” said Trysdale, with
the bitter wraith of a smile “Is it
Spanish?”
“Yes. The natives imagine
the leaves are reaching out and beckoning to you.
They call it by this name Ventomarme.
Name means in English, ‘Come and take me.’”