A silver rime glistened all down the street.
There was a drabble of dead leaves
on the sidewalk which was of wood, and on the roadway
which was of macadam and stiff mud. The wind blew
sharply, for it was a December day and only six in
the morning. Nor were the houses high enough
to furnish any independent bulwark; they were low,
wooden dwellings, the tallest a bare two stories in
height, the majority only one story. But they
were in good painting and repair, and most of them
had a homely gayety of geraniums or bouvardias in
the windows. The house on the corner was the tall
house. It occupied a larger yard than its neighbors;
and there were lace curtains tied with blue ribbons
for the windows in the right hand front room.
The door of this house swung back with a crash, and
a woman darted out. She ran at the top of her
speed to the little yellow house farther down the street.
Her blue calico gown clung about her stout figure and
fluttered behind her, revealing her blue woollen stockings
and felt slippers. Her gray head was bare.
As she ran tears rolled down her cheeks and she wrung
her hands.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, lieber Herr Je!” One near would
have heard her sob, in too distracted agitation to
heed the motorneer of the passing street-car who stared
after her at the risk of his car, or the tousled heads
behind a few curtains. She did not stop until
she almost fell against the door of the yellow house.
Her frantic knocking was answered by a young woman
in a light and artless costume of a quilted petticoat
and a red flannel sack.
“Oh, gracious goodness! Mrs. Lieders!”
cried she.
Thekla Lieders rather staggered than
walked into the room and fell back on the black haircloth
sofa.
“There, there, there,”
said the young woman while she patted the broad shoulders
heaving between sobs and short breath, “what
is it? The house aint afire?”
“Oh, no, oh, Mrs. Olsen, he
has done it again!” She wailed in sobs, like
a child.
“Done it? Done what?” exclaimed Mrs. Olsen, then her face paled. “Oh, my
gracious, you don’t mean he’s killed himself--”
“Yes, he’s killed himself, again.”
“And he’s dead?” asked the other
in an awed tone.
Mrs. Lieders gulped down her tears.
“Oh, not so bad as that, I cut him down, he
was up in the garret and I sus suspected
him and I run up and oh, he was there,
a choking, and he was so mad! He swore at me
and he kicked me when I I says:
’Kurt, what are you doing of? Hold on till
I git a knife,’ I says for his hands
was just dangling at his side; and he says nottings
cause he couldn’t, he was most gone, and I knowed
I wouldn’t have time to git no knife but I saw
it was a rope was pretty bad worn and so so
I just run and jumped and ketched it in my hands,
and being I’m so fleshy it couldn’t stand
no more and it broke! And, oh! he he
kicked me when I was try to come near to git the rope
off his neck; and so soon like he could git his breath
he swore at me ”
“And you a helping of him!
Just listen to that!” cried the hearer indignantly.
“So I come here for to git you
and Mr. Olsen to help me git him down stairs, ’cause
he is too heavy for me to lift, and he is so mad he
won’t walk down himself.”
“Yes, yes, of course. I’ll
call Carl. Carl! dost thou hear? come! But
did you dare to leave him Mrs. Lieders?” Part
of the time she spoke in English, part of the time
in her own tongue, gliding from one to another, and
neither party observing the transition.
Mrs. Lieders wiped her eyes, saying:
“Oh, yes, Danke schon, I aint afraid ’cause
I tied him with the rope, righd good, so he don’t
got no chance to move. He was make faces at me
all the time I tied him.” At the remembrance,
the tears welled anew.
Mrs. Olsen, a little bright tinted
woman with a nose too small for her big blue eyes
and chubby cheeks, quivered with indignant sympathy.
“Well, I did nefer hear of sooch
a mean acting man!” seemed to her the most natural
expression; but the wife fired, at once.
“No, he is not a mean man,”
she cried, “no, Freda Olsen, he is not a mean
man at all! There aint nowhere a better man than
my man; and Carl Olsen, he knows that. Kurt,
he always buys a whole ham and a whole barrel of flour,
and never less than a dollar of sugar at a time!
And he never gits drunk nor he never gives me any
bad talk. It was only he got this wanting to
kill himself on him, sometimes.”
“Well, I guess I’ll go
put on my things,” said Mrs. Olsen, wisely declining
to defend her position. “You set right still
and warm yourself, and we’ll be back in a minute.”
Indeed, it was hardly more than that
time before both Carl Olsen, who worked in the same
furniture factory as Kurt Lieders, and was a comely
and after-witted giant, appeared with Mrs. Olsen ready
for the street.
He nodded at Mrs. Lieders and made
a gurgling noise in his throat, expected to convey
sympathy. Then, he coughed and said that he was
ready, and they started.
Feeling further expression demanded,
Mrs. Olsen asked: “How many times has he
done it, Mrs. Lieders?”
Mrs. Lieders was trotting along, her
anxious eyes on the house in the distance, especially
on the garret windows. “Three times,”
she answered, not removing her eyes; “onct he
tooked Rough on Rats and I found it out and I put
some apple butter in the place of it, and he kept wondering
and wondering how he didn’t feel notings, and
after awhile I got him off the notion, that time.
He wasn’t mad at me; he just said: ’Well,
I do it some other time. You see!’ but
he promised to wait till I got the spring house cleaning
over, so he could shake the carpets for me; and by
and by he got feeling better. He was mad at the
boss and that made him feel bad. The next time
it was the same, that time he jumped into the cistern ”
“Yes, I know,” said Olsen,
with a half grin, “I pulled him out.”
“It was the razor he wanted,”
the wife continued, “and when he come home and
says he was going to leave the shop and he aint never
going back there, and gets out his razor and sharps
it, I knowed what that meant and I told him I got
to have some bluing and wouldn’t he go and get
it? and he says, ’You won’t git another
husband run so free on your errands, Thekla,’
and I says I don’t want none; and when he was
gone I hid the razor and he couldn’t find it,
but that didn’t mad him, he didn’t say
notings; and when I went to git the supper he walked
out in the yard and jumped into the cistern, and I
heard the splash and looked in and there he was trying
to git his head under, and I called, ’For the
Lord’s sake, papa! For the Lord’s
sake!’ just like that. And I fished for
him with the pole that stood there and he was sorry
and caught hold of it and give in, and I rested the
pole agin the side cause I wasn’t strong enough
to h’ist him out; and he held on whilest I run
for help ”
“And I got the ladder and he
clum out,” said the giant with another grin
of recollection, “he was awful wet!”
“That was a month ago,” said the wife,
solemnly.
“He sharped the razor onct,”
said Mrs. Lieders, “but he said it was for to
shave him, and I got him to promise to let the barber
shave him sometime, instead. Here, Mrs. Olsen,
you go righd in, the door aint locked.”
By this time they were at the house
door. They passed in and ascended the stairs
to the second story, then climbed a narrow, ladder-like
flight to the garret. Involuntarily they had paused
to listen at the foot of the stairs, but it was very
quiet, not a sound of movement, not so much as the
sigh of a man breathing. The wife turned pale
and put both her shaking hands on her heart.
“Guess he’s trying to
scare us by keeping quiet!” said Olsen, cheerfully,
and he stumbled up the stairs, in advance. “Thunder!”
he exclaimed, on the last stair, “well, we aint
any too quick.”
In fact Carl had nearly fallen over
the master of the house, that enterprising self-destroyer
having contrived, pinioned as he was, to roll over
to the very brink of the stair well, with the plain
intent to break his neck by plunging headlong.
In the dim light all that they could
see was a small, old man whose white hair was strung
in wisps over his purple face, whose deep set eyes
glared like the eyes of a rat in a trap, and whose
very elbows and knees expressed in their cramps the
fury of an outraged soul. When he saw the new-comers
he shut his eyes and his jaws.
“Well, Mr. Lieders,” said
Olsen, mildly, “I guess you better git down-stairs.
Kin I help you up?”
“No,” said Lieders.
“Will I give you an arm to lean on?”
“No.”
“Won’t you go at all, Mr. Lieders?”
“No.”
Olsen shook his head. “I
hate to trouble you, Mr. Lieders,” said he in
his slow, undecided tones, “please excuse me,”
with which he gathered up the little man into his
strong arms and slung him over his shoulders, as easily
as he would sling a sack of meal. It was a vent
for Mrs. Olsen’s bubbling indignation to make
a dive for Lieders’s heels and hold them, while
Carl backed down-stairs. But Lieders did not make
the least resistance. He allowed them to carry
him into the room indicated by his wife, and to lay
him bound on the plump feather bed. It was not
his bedroom but the sacred “spare room,”
and the bed was part of its luxury. Thekla ran
in, first, to remove the embroidered pillow shams and
the dazzling, silken “crazy quilt” that
was her choicest possession.
Safely in the bed, Lieders opened
his eyes and looked from one face to the other, his
lip curling. “You can’t keep me this
way all the time. I can do it in spite of you,”
said he.
“Well, I think you had ought
to be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Lieders!” Mrs.
Olsen burst out, in a tremble between wrath and exertion,
shaking her little, plump fist at him.
But the placid Carl only nodded, as
in sympathy, saying, “Well, I am sorry you feel
so bad, Mr. Lieders. I guess we got to go now.”
Mrs. Olsen looked as if she would
have liked to exhort Lieders further; but she shrugged
her shoulders and followed her husband in silence.
“I wished you’d stay to
breakfast, now you’re here,” Thekla urged
out of her imperious hospitality; had Kurt been lying
there dead, the next meal must have been offered,
just the same. “I know, you aint got time
to git Mr. Olsen his breakfast, Freda, before he has
got to go to the shops, and my tea-kettle is boiling
now, and the coffee’ll be ready I
guess you had better stay.”
But Mrs. Olsen seconded her husband’s
denial, and there was nothing left Thekla but to see
them to the door. No sooner did she return than
Lieders spoke. “Aint you going to take off
them ropes?” said he.
“Not till you promise you won’t do it.”
Silence. Thekla, brushing a few
tears from her eyes, scrutinized the ropes again,
before she walked heavily out of the room. She
turned the key in the door.
Directly a savory steam floated through
the hall and pierced the cracks about the door; then
Thekla’s footsteps returned; they echoed over
the uncarpeted boards.
She had brought his breakfast, cooked
with the best of her homely skill. The pork chops
that he liked had been fried, there was a napkin on
the tray, and the coffee was in the best gilt cup
and saucer.
“Here’s your breakfast, papa,” said
she, trying to smile.
“I don’t want no breakfast,” said
he.
She waited, holding the tray, and wistfully eying
him.
“Take it ’way,”
said he, “I won’t touch it if you stand
till doomsday, lessen you untie me!”
“I’ll untie your arm, papa, one arm; you
kin eat that way.”
“Not lessen you untie all of me, I won’t
touch a bite.”
“You know why I won’t untie you, papa.”
“Starving will kill as dead
as hanging,” was Lieders’s orphic response
to this.
Thekla sighed and went away, leaving
the tray on the table. It may be that she hoped
the sight of food might stir his stomach to rebel against
his dogged will; if so she was disappointed; half an
hour went by during which the statue under the bedclothes
remained without so much as a quiver.
Then the old woman returned. “Aint you
awful cramped and stiff, papa?”
“Yes,” said the statue.
“Will you promise not to do yourself a mischief,
if I untie you?”
“No.”
Thekla groaned, while the tears started
to her red eyelids. “But you’ll git
awful tired and it will hurt you if you don’t
get the ropes off, soon, papa!”
“I know that!”
He closed his eyes again, to be the
less hindered from dropping back into his distempered
musings. Thekla took a seat by his side and sat
silent as he. Slowly the natural pallor returned
to the high forehead and sharp features. They
were delicate features and there was an air of refinement,
of thought, about Lieders’s whole person, as
different as possible from the robust comeliness of
his wife. With its keen sensitive-ness and its
undefined melancholy it was a dreamer’s face.
One meets such faces, sometimes, in incongruous places
and wonders what they mean. In fact, Kurt Lieders,
head cabinet maker in the furniture factory of Lossing
& Co., was an artist. He was, also, an incomparable
artisan and the most exacting foreman in the shops.
Thirty years ago he had first taken wages from the
senior Lossing. He had watched a modest industry
climb up to a great business, nor was he all at sea
in his own estimate of his share in the firm’s
success. Lieders’s workmanship had an honesty,
an infinite patience of detail, a daring skill of design
that came to be sought and commanded its own price.
The Lossing “art furniture” did not slander
the name. No sculptor ever wrought his soul into
marble with a more unflinching conscience or a purer
joy in his work than this wood-carver dreaming over
sideboards and bedsteads. Unluckily, Lieders
had the wrong side of the gift as well as the right;
was full of whims and crotchets, and as unpractical
as the Christian martyrs. He openly defied expense,
and he would have no trifling with the laws of art.
To make after orders was an insult to Kurt. He
made what was best for the customer; if the latter
had not the sense to see it he was a fool and a pig,
and some one else should work for him, not Kurt Lieders,
BEGEHR!
Young Lossing had learned the business
practically. He was taught the details by his
father’s best workman; and a mighty hard and
strict master the best workman proved! Lossing
did not dream that the crabbed old tyrant who rarely
praised him, who made him go over, for the twentieth
time, any imperfect piece of work, who exacted all
the artisan virtues to the last inch, was secretly
proud of him. Yet, in fact, the thread of romance
in Lieders’s prosaic life was his idolatry of
the Lossing Manufacturing Co. It is hard to tell
whether it was the Lossings or that intangible quantity,
the firm, the business, that he worshipped. Worship
he did, however, the one or the other, perhaps the
both of them, though in the peevish and erratic manner
of the savage who sometimes grovels to his idols and
sometimes kicks them.
Nobody guessed what a blow it was
to Kurt when, a year ago, the elder Lossing had died.
Even his wife did not connect his sullen melancholy
and his gibes at the younger generation, with the crape
on Harry Lossing’s hat. He would not go
to the funeral, but worked savagely, all alone by
himself, in the shop, the whole afternoon breaking
down at last at the sight of a carved panel over which
Lossing and he had once disputed. The desolate
loneliness of the old came to him when his old master
was gone. He loved the young man, but the old
man was of his own generation; he had “known
how things ought to be and he could understand without
talking.” Lieders began to be on the lookout
for signs of waning consideration, to watch his own
eyes and hands, drearily wondering when they would
begin to play him false; at the same time because he
was unhappy he was ten times as exacting and peremptory
and critical with the younger workmen, and ten times
as insolently independent with the young master.
Often enough, Lossing was exasperated to the point
of taking the old man at his word and telling him
to go if he would, but every time the chain of long
habit, a real respect for such faithful service, and
a keen admiration for Kurt’s matchless skill
in his craft, had held him back. He prided himself
on keeping his word; for that reason he was warier
of using it. So he would compromise by giving
the domineering old fellow a “good, stiff rowing.”
Once, he coupled this with a threat, if they could
not get along decently they would better part!
Lieders had answered not a word; he had given Lossing
a queer glance and turned on his heel. He went
home and bought some poison on the way. “The
old man is gone and the young feller don’t want
the old crank round, no more,” he said to himself.
“Thekla, I guess I make her troubles, too; I’ll
git out!”
That was the beginning of his tampering
with suicide. Thekla, who did not have the same
opinion of the “trouble,” had interfered.
He had married Thekla to have someone to keep a warm
fireside for him, but she was an ignorant creature
who never could be made to understand about carving.
He felt sorry for her when the baby died, the only
child they ever had; he was sorrier than he expected
to be on his own account, too, for it was an ugly
little creature, only four days old, and very red and
wrinkled; but he never thought of confiding his own
griefs or trials to her. Now, it made him angry
to have that stupid Thekla keep him in a world where
he did not wish to stay. If the next day Lossing
had not remembered how his father valued Lieders,
and made an excuse to half apologize to him, I fear
Thekla’s stratagems would have done little good.
The next experience was cut out of
the same piece of cloth. He had relented, he
had allowed his wife to save him; but he was angry
in secret. Then came the day when open disobedience
to Lossing’s orders had snapped the last thread
of Harry’s patience. To Lieders’s
aggrieved “If you ain’t satisfied with
my work, Mr. Lossing, I kin quit,” the answer
had come instantly, “Very well, Lieders, I’m
sorry to lose you, but we can’t have two bosses
here: you can go to the desk.” And
when Lieders in a blind stab of temper had growled
a prophecy that Lossing would regret it, Lossing had
stabbed in turn: “Maybe, but it will be
a cold day when I ask you to come back.”
And he had gone off without so much as a word of regret.
The old workman had packed up his tools, the pet tools
that no one was ever permitted to touch, and crammed
his arms into his coat and walked out of the place
where he had worked so long, not a man saying a word.
Lieders didn’t reflect that they knew nothing
of the quarrel. He glowered at them and went
away sore at heart. We make a great mistake when
we suppose that it is only the affectionate that desire
affection; sulky and ill-conditioned souls often have
a passionate longing for the very feelings that they
repel. Lieders was a womanish, sensitive creature
under the surly mask, and he was cut to the quick
by his comrades’ apathy. “There ain’t
no place for old men in this world,” he thought,
“there’s them boys I done my best to make
do a good job, and some of ’em I’ve worked
overtime to help; and not one of ’em has got
as much as a good-by in him for me!”
But he did not think of going to poor
Thekla for comfort, he went to his grim dreams.
“I git my property all straight for Thekla, and
then I quit,” said he. Perhaps he gave
himself a reprieve unconsciously, thinking that something
might happen to save him from himself. Nothing
happened. None of the “boys” came
to see him, except Carl Olsen, the very stupidest
man in the shop, who put Lieders beside himself fifty
times a day. The other men were sorry that Lieders
had gone, having a genuine workman’s admiration
for his skill, and a sort of underground liking for
the unreasonable old man because he was so absolutely
honest and “a fellow could always tell where
to find him.” But they were shy, they were
afraid he would take their pity in bad part, they “waited
a while.”
Carl, honest soul, stood about in
Lieders’s workshop, kicking the shavings with
his heels for half an hour, and grinned sheepishly,
and was told what a worthless, scamping, bragging lot
the “boys” at Lossing’s were, and
said he guessed he had got to go home now; and so
departed, unwitting that his presence had been a consolation.
Mrs. Olsen asked Carl what Lieders said; Carl answered
simply, “Say, Freda, that man feels terrible
bad.”
Meanwhile Thekla seemed easily satisfied.
She made no outcry as Lieders had dreaded, over his
leaving the shop.
“Well, then, papa, you don’t
need git up so early in the morning no more, if you
aint going to the shop,” was her only comment;
and Lieders despised the mind of woman more than ever.
But that evening, while Lieders was
down town (occupied, had she known it, with a codicil
to his will), she went over to the Olsens and found
out all Carl could tell her about the trouble in the
shop. And it was she that made the excuse of
marketing to go out the next day, that she might see
the rich widow on the hill who was talking about a
china closet, and Judge Trevor, who had asked the
price of a mantel, and Mr. Martin, who had looked
at sideboards (all this information came from honest
Carl); and who proposed to them that they order such
furniture of the best cabinet-maker in the country,
now setting up on his own account. He, simple
as a baby for all his doggedness, thought that they
came because of his fame as a workman, and felt a glow
of pride, particularly as (having been prepared by
the wife, who said, “You see it don’t
make so much difference with my Kurt ’bout de
prize, if so he can get the furniture like he wants
it, and he always know of the best in the old country”)
they all were duly humble. He accepted a few orders
and went to work with a will; he would show them what
the old man could do. But it was only a temporary
gleam; in a little while he grew homesick for the
shop, for the sawdust floor and the familiar smell
of oil, and the picture of Lossing flitting in and
out. He missed the careless young workmen at
whom he had grumbled, he missed the whir of machinery,
and the consciousness of rush and hurry accented by
the cars on the track outside. In short, he missed
the feeling of being part of a great whole. At
home, in his cosey little improvised shop, there was
none to dispute him, but there was none to obey him
either. He grew deathly tired of it all.
He got into the habit of walking around the shops
at night, prowling about his old haunts like a cat.
Once the night watchman saw him. The next day
there was a second watchman engaged. And Olsen
told him very kindly, meaning only to warn him, that
he was suspected to be there for no good purpose.
Lieders confirmed a lurking suspicion of the good
Carl’s own, by the clouding of his face.
Yet he would have chopped his hand off rather than
have lifted it against the shop.
That was Tuesday night, this was Wednesday morning.
The memory of it all, the cruel sense
of injustice, returned with such poignant force that
Lieders groaned aloud.
Instantly, Thekla was bending over
him. He did not know whether to laugh at her
or to swear, for she began fumbling at the ropes, half
sobbing. “Yes, I knowed they was hurting
you, papa; I’m going to loose one arm.
Then I put it back again and loose the other.
Please don’t be bad!”
He made no resistance and she was
as good as her word. She unbound and bound him
in sections, as it were; he watching her with a morose
smile.
Then she left the room, but only to
return with some hot coffee. Lieders twisted
his head away. “No,” said he, “I
don’t eat none of that breakfast, not if you
make fresh coffee all the morning; I feel like I don’t
eat never no more on earth.”
Thekla knew that the obstinate nature
that she tempted was proof against temptation; if
Kurt chose to starve, starve he would with food at
his elbow.
“Oh, papa,” she cried,
helplessly, “what is the matter with you?”
“Just dying is the matter with
me, Thekla. If I can’t die one way I kin
another. Now Thekla, I want you to quit crying
and listen. After I’m gone you go to the
boss, young Mr. Lossing but I always called
him Harry because he learned his trade of me, Thekla,
but he don’t think of that now and
you tell him old Lieders that worked for him thirty
years is dead, but he didn’t hold no hard feelings,
he knowed he done wrong ’bout that mantel.
Mind you tell him.”
“Yes, papa,” said Thekla,
which was a surprise to Kurt; he had dreaded a weak
flood of tears and protestations. But there were
no tears, no protestations, only a long look at him
and a contraction of the eyebrows as if Thekla were
trying to think of something that eluded her.
She placed the coffee on the tray beside the other
breakfast. For a while the room was very still.
Lieders could not see the look of resolve that finally
smoothed the perplexed lines out of his wife’s
kind, simple old face. She rose. “Kurt,”
she said, “I don’t guess you remember this
is our wedding-day; it was this day, eighteen year
we was married.”
“So!” said Lieders, “well,
I was a bad bargain to you, Thekla; after you nursed
your father that was a cripple for twenty years, I
thought it would be easy with me; but I was a bad
bargain.”
“The Lord knows best about that,”
said Thekla, simply, “be it how it be, you are
the only man I ever had or will have, and I don’t
like you starve yourself. Papa, say you don’t
kill yourself, to-day, and dat you will eat your breakfast!”
“Yes,” Lieders repeated
in German, “a bad bargain for thee, that is
sure. But thou hast been a good bargain for me.
Here! I promise. Not this day. Give
me the coffee.”
He had seasons, all the morning, of
wondering over his meekness, and his agreement to
be tied up again, at night. But still, what did
a day matter? a man humors women’s notions;
and starving was so tedious. Between whiles he
elaborated a scheme to attain his end. How easy
to outwit the silly Thekla! His eyes shone, as
he hid the little, sharp knife up his cuff. “Let
her tie me!” says Lieders, “I keep my word.
To-morrow I be out of this. He won’t git
a man like me, pretty soon!”
Thekla went about her daily tasks,
with her every-day air; but, now and again, that same
pucker of thought returned to her forehead; and, more
than once, Lieders saw her stand over some dish, poising
her spoon in air, too abstracted to notice his cynical
observation.
The dinner was more elaborate than
common, and Thekla had broached a bottle of her currant
wine. She gravely drank Lieders’s health.
“And many good days, papa,” she said.
Lieders felt a queer movement of pity.
After the table was cleared, he helped his wife to
wash and wipe the dishes as his custom was of a Sunday
or holiday. He wiped dishes as he did everything,
neatly, slowly, with a careful deliberation.
Not until the dishes were put away and the couple
were seated, did Thekla speak.
“Kurt,” she said, “I got to talk
to you.”
An inarticulate groan and a glance
at the door from Lieders. “I just got to,
papa. It aint righd for you to do the way you
been doing for so long time; efery little whiles you
try to kill yourself; no, papa, that aint righd!”
Kurt, who had gotten out his pencils
and compasses and other drawing tools, grunted:
“I got to look at my work, Thekla, now; I am
too busy to talk.”
“No, Kurt, no, papa” the
hands holding the blue apron that she was embroidering
with white linen began to tremble; Lieders had not
the least idea what a strain it was on this reticent,
slow of speech woman who had stood in awe of him for
eighteen years, to discuss the horror of her life;
but he could not help marking her agitation. She
went on, desperately: “Yes, papa, I got
to talk it oud with you. You had ought to listen,
’cause I always been a good wife to you and nefer
refused you notings. No.”
“Well, I aint saying I done
it ’cause you been bad to me; everybody knows
we aint had no trouble.”
“But everybody what don’t
know us, when they read how you tried to kill yourself
in the papers, they think it was me. That always
is so. And now I never can any more sleep nights,
for you is always maybe git up and do something to
yourself. So now, I got to talk to you, papa.
Papa, how could you done so?”
Lieders twisted his feet under the
rungs of his chair; he opened his mouth, but only
to shut it again with a click of his teeth.
“I got my mind made up, papa.
I tought and I tought. I know why you done
it; you done it ’cause you and the boss was mad
at each other. The boss hadn’t no righd
to let you go--”
“Yes, he had, I madded him first;
I was a fool. Of course I knowed more than him
’bout the work, but I hadn’t no right to
go against him. The boss is all right.”
“Yes, papa, I got my mind made
up” like most sluggish spirits there
was an immense momentum about Thekla’s mind,
once get it fairly started it was not to be diverted “you
never killed yourself before you used to git mad at
the boss. You was afraid he would send you away;
and now you have sent yourself away you don’t
want to live, ’cause you do not know how you
can git along without the shop. But you want to
get back, you want to get back more as you want to
kill yourself. Yes, papa, I know, I know where
you did used to go, nights. Now” she
changed her speech unconsciously to the tongue of
her youth “it is not fair, it is not
fair to me that thou shouldst treat me like that, thou
dost belong to me, also; so I say, my Kurt, wilt thou
make a bargain with me? If I shall get thee back
thy place wilt thou promise me never to kill thyself
any more?”
Lieders had not once looked up at
her during the slow, difficult sentences with their
half choked articulation; but he was experiencing
some strange emotions, and one of them was a novel
respect for his wife. All he said was: “’Taint
no use talking. I won’t never ask him to
take me back, once.”
“Well, you aint asking of him.
I ask him. I try to git you back, once!”
“I tell you, it aint no use;
I know the boss, he aint going to be letting womans
talk him over; no, he’s a good man, he knows
how to work his business himself!”
“But would you promise me, Kurt?”
Lieders’s eyes blurred with
a mild and dreamy mist; he sighed softly. “Thekla,
you can’t see how it is. It is like you
are tied up, if I don’t can do that; if I can
then it is always that I am free, free to go, free
to stay. And for you, Thekla, it is the same.”
Thekla’s mild eyes flashed.
“I don’t believe you would like it so you
wake up in the morning and find me hanging up
in the kitchen by the clothes-line!”
Lieders had the air of one considering
deeply. Then he gave Thekla one of the surprises
of her life; he rose from his chair, he walked in his
shuffling, unheeled slippers across the room to where
the old woman sat; he put one arm on the back of the
chair and stiffly bent over her and kissed her.
“Lieber Herr Je!” gasped Thekla.
“Then I shall go, too, pretty quick, that is
all, mamma,” said he.
Thekla wiped her eyes. A little
pause fell between them, and in it they may have both
remembered vanished, half-forgotten days when life
had looked differently to them, when they had never
thought to sit by their own fireside and discuss suicide.
The husband spoke first; with a reluctant, half-shamed
smile, “Thekla, I tell you what, I make the
bargain with you; you git me back that place, I don’t
do it again, ’less you let me; you don’t
git me back that place, you don’t say notings
to me.”
The apron dropped from the withered,
brown hands to the floor. Again there was silence;
but not for long; ghastly as was the alternative, the
proposal offered a chance to escape from the terror
that was sapping her heart.
“How long will you give me, papa?” said
she.
“I give you a week,” said he.
Thekla rose and went to the door;
as she opened it a fierce gust of wind slashed her
like a knife, and Lieders exclaimed, fretfully, “what
you opening that door for, Thekla, letting in the
wind? I’m so cold, now, right by the fire,
I most can’t draw. We got to keep a fire
in the base-burner good, all night, or the plants
will freeze.”
Thekla said confusedly that something
sounded like a cat crying. “And you talking
like that it frightened me; maybe I was wrong to make
such bargains--”
“Then don’t make it,”
said Lieders, curtly, “I aint asking you.”
But Thekla drew a long breath and
straightened herself, saying, “Yes, I make it,
papa, I make it.”
“Well, put another stick of
wood in the stove, will you, now you are up?”
said Lieders, shrugging his shoulders, “or I’ll
freeze in spite of you! It seems to me it grows
colder every minute.”
But all that day he was unusually
gentle with Thekla. He talked of his youth and
the struggles of the early days of the firm; he related
a dozen tales of young Lossing, all illustrating some
admirable trait that he certainly had not praised
at the time. Never had he so opened his heart
in regard to his own ideals of art, his own ambitions.
And Thekla listened, not always comprehending but
always sympathizing; she was almost like a comrade,
Kurt thought afterward.
The next morning, he was surprised
to have her appear equipped for the street, although
it was bitterly cold. She wore her garb of ceremony,
a black alpaca gown, with a white crocheted collar
neatly turned over the long black, broadcloth cloak
in which she had taken pride for the last five years;
and her quilted black silk bonnet was on her gray head.
When she put up her foot to don her warm overshoes
Kurt saw that the stout ankles were encased in white
stockings. This was the last touch. “Gracious,
Thekla,” cried Kurt, “are you going to
market this day? It is the coldest day this winter!”
“Oh, I don’t mind,”
replied Thekla, nervously. Then she had wrapped
a scarf about her and gone out while he was getting
into his own coat, and conning a proffer to go in
her stead.
“Oh, well, Thekla she aint such
a fool like she looks!” he observed to the cat,
“say, pussy, was it you out yestiddy?”
The cat only blinked her yellow eyes
and purred. She knew that she had not been out,
last night. Not any better than her mistress,
however, who at this moment was hailing a street-car.
The street-car did not land her anywhere
near a market; it whirled her past the lines of low
wooden houses into the big brick shops with their
arched windows and terra-cotta ornaments that
showed the ambitious architecture of a growing Western
town, past these into mills and factories and smoke-stained
chimneys. Here, she stopped. An acquaintance
would hardly have recognized her, her ruddy cheeks
had grown so pale. But she trotted on to the
great building on the corner from whence came a low,
incessant buzz. She went into the first door and
ran against Carl Olsen. “Carl, I got to
see Mr. Lossing,” said she breathlessly.
“There ain’t noding ”
“No, Gott sei dank’, but I got to see
him.”
It was not Carl’s way to ask
questions; he promptly showed her the office and she
entered. She had not seen young Harry Lossing
half a dozen times; and, now, her anxious eyes wandered
from one dapper figure at the high desks, to another,
until Lossing advanced to her.
He was a handsome young man, she thought,
and he had kind eyes, but they hardened at her first
timid sentence: “I am Mrs. Lieders, I come
about my man ”
“Will you walk in here, Mrs.
Lieders?” said Lossing. His voice was like
the ice on the window-panes.
She followed him into a little room. He shut
the door.
Declining the chair that he pushed
toward her she stood in the centre of the room, looking
at him with the pleading eyes of a child.
“Mr. Lossing, will you please
save my Kurt from killing himself?”
“What do you mean?” Lossing’s voice
had not thawed.
“It is for you that he will
kill himself, Mr. Lossing. This is the dird time
he has done it. It is because he is so lonesome
now, your father is died and he thinks that you forget,
and he has worked so hard for you, but he thinks that
you forget. He was never tell me till yesterday;
and then it was it was because
I would not let him hang himself ”
“Hang himself?” stammered Lossing, “you
don’t mean ”
“Yes, he was hang himself, but
I cut him, no I broke him down,” said Thekla,
accurate in all the disorder of her spirits; and forthwith,
with many tremors, but clearly, she told the story
of Kurt’s despair. She told, as Lieders
never would have known how to tell, even had his pride
let him, all the man’s devotion for the business,
all his personal attachment to the firm; she told
of his gloom after the elder Lossing died, “for
he was think there was no one in this town such good
man and so smart like your fader, Mr. Lossing, no,
and he would set all the evening and try to draw and
make the lines all wrong, and, then, he would drow
the papers in the fire and go and walk outside and
he say, ’I can’t do nothing righd no more
now the old man’s died; they don’t have
no use for me at the shop, pretty quick!’ and
that make him feel awful bad!” She told of his
homesick wanderings about the shops by night; “but
he was better as a watchman, he wouldn’t hurt
it for the world! He telled me how you was hide
his dinner-pail onct for a joke, and put in a piece
of your pie, and how you climbed on the roof with the
hose when it was afire. And he telled me if he
shall die I shall tell you that he ain’t got
no hard feelings, but you didn’t know how that
mantel had ought to be, so he done it right the other
way, but he hadn’t no righd to talk to you like
he done, nohow, and you was all righd to send him
away, but you might a shaked hands, and none of the
boys never said nothing nor none of them never come
to see him, ’cept Carl Olsen, and that make
him feel awful bad, too! And when he feels so
bad he don’t no more want to live, so I make
him promise if I git him back he never try to kill
himself again. Oh, Mr. Lossing, please don’t
let my man die!”
Bewildered and more touched than he
cared to feel, himself, Lossing still made a feeble
stand for discipline. “I don’t see
how Lieders can expect me to take him back again,”
he began.
“He aint expecting you, Mr. Lossing, it’s
me!”
“But didn’t Lieders tell you I told him
I would never take him back?”
“No, sir, no, Mr. Lossing, it
was not that, it was you said it would be a cold day
that you would take him back; and it was git so cold
yesterday, so I think, ’Now it would be a cold
day to-morrow and Mr. Lossing he can take Kurt back.’
And it is the most coldest day this year!”
Lossing burst into a laugh, perhaps
he was glad to have the Western sense of humor come
to the rescue of his compassion. “Well,
it was a cold day for you to come all this way for
nothing,” said he. “You go home and
tell Lieders to report to-morrow.”
Kurt’s manner of receiving the
news was characteristic. He snorted in disgust:
“Well, I did think he had more sand than to give
in to a woman!” But after he heard the whole
story he chuckled: “Yes, it was that way
he said, and he must do like he said; but that was
a funny way you done, Thekla. Say, mamma, yesterday,
was you look out for the cat or to find how cold it
been?”
“Never you mind, papa,”
said Thekla, “you remember what you promised
if I git you back?”
Lieders’s eyes grew dull; he
flung his arms out, with a long sigh. “No,
I don’t forget, I will keep my promise, but it
is like the handcuffs, Thekla, it is like the handcuffs!”
In a second, however, he added, in a changed tone,
“But thou art a kind jailer, mamma, more like
a comrade. And no, it was not fair to thee I
know that now, Thekla.”