It was on the ninth of November, the
eve of his own thirty-eighth birthday, as he often
remembered afterwards.
He was walking home about eleven o’clock
from Lord Henry’s, where he had been dining,
and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold
and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square
and South Audley Street a man passed him in the mist,
walking very fast, and with the collar of his grey
ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand.
Dorian recognised him. It was Basil Hallward.
A strange sense of fear, for which he could not account,
came over him. He made no sign of recognition,
and went on quickly in the direction of his own house.
But Hallward had seen him. Dorian
heard him first stopping on the pavement, and then
hurrying after him. In a few moments his hand
was on his arm.
“Dorian! What an extraordinary
piece of luck! I have been waiting for you in
your library ever since nine o’clock. Finally
I took pity on your tired servant, and told him to
go to bed, as he let me out. I am off to Paris
by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to
see you before I left. I thought it was you,
or rather your fur coat, as you passed me. But
I wasn’t quite sure. Didn’t you recognise
me?”
“In this fog, my dear Basil?
Why, I can’t even recognise Grosvenor Square.
I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don’t
feel at all certain about it. I am sorry you
are going away, as I have not seen you for ages.
But I suppose you will be back soon?”
“No: I am going to be out
of England for six months. I intend to take a
studio in Paris, and shut myself up till I have finished
a great picture I have in my head. However, it
wasn’t about myself I wanted to talk. Here
we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment.
I have something to say to you.”
“I shall be charmed. But
won’t you miss your train?” said Dorian
Gray, languidly, as he passed up the steps and opened
the door with his latch-key.
The lamp-light struggled out through
the fog, and Hallward looked at his watch. “I
have heaps of time,” he answered. “The
train doesn’t go till twelve-fifteen, and it
is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my way
to the club to look for you, when I met you.
You see, I shan’t have any delay about luggage,
as I have sent on my heavy things. All I have
with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria
in twenty minutes.”
Dorian looked at him and smiled.
“What a way for a fashionable painter to travel!
A Gladstone bag, and an ulster! Come in, or the
fog will get into the house. And mind you don’t
talk about anything serious. Nothing is serious
nowadays. At least nothing should be.”
Hallward shook his head as he entered,
and followed Dorian into the library. There was
a bright wood fire blazing in the large open hearth.
The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case
stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass
tumblers, on a little marqueterie table.
“You see your servant made me
quite at home, Dorian. He gave me everything
I wanted, including your best gold-tipped cigarettes.
He is a most hospitable creature. I like him
much better than the Frenchman you used to have.
What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?”
Dorian shrugged his shoulders.
“I believe he married Lady Radley’s maid,
and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker.
Anglomanie is very fashionable over there now,
I hear. It seems silly of the French, doesn’t
it? But do you know? he
was not at all a bad servant. I never liked him,
but I had nothing to complain about. One often
imagines things that are quite absurd. He was
really very devoted to me, and seemed quite sorry
when he went away. Have another brandy-and-soda?
Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take
hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some
in the next room.”
“Thanks, I won’t have
anything more,” said the painter, taking his
cap and coat off, and throwing them on the bag that
he had placed in the corner. “And now,
my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously.
Don’t frown like that. You make it so much
more difficult for me.”
“What is it all about?”
cried Dorian, in his petulant way, flinging himself
down on the sofa. “I hope it is not about
myself. I am tired of myself to-night. I
should like to be somebody else.”
“It is about yourself,”
answered Hallward, in his grave, deep voice, “and
I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half
an hour.”
Dorian sighed, and lit a cigarette.
“Half an hour!” he murmured.
“It is not much to ask of you,
Dorian, and it is entirely for your own sake that
I am speaking. I think it right that you should
know that the most dreadful things are being said
against you in London.”
“I don’t wish to know
anything about them. I love scandals about other
people, but scandals about myself don’t interest
me. They have not got the charm of novelty.”
“They must interest you, Dorian.
Every gentleman is interested in his good name.
You don’t want people to talk of you as something
vile and degraded. Of course you have your position,
and your wealth, and all that kind of thing.
But position and wealth are not everything. Mind
you, I don’t believe these rumours at all.
At least, I can’t believe them when I see you.
Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man’s
face. It cannot be concealed. People talk
sometimes of secret vices. There are no such
things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows
itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his
eyelids, the moulding of his hands even. Somebody I
won’t mention his name, but you know him came
to me last year to have his portrait done. I had
never seen him before, and had never heard anything
about him at the time, though I have heard a good
deal since. He offered an extravagant price.
I refused him. There was something in the shape
of his fingers that I hated. I know now that
I was quite right in what I fancied about him.
His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your
pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled
youth I can’t believe anything against
you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you never
come down to the studio now, and when I am away from
you, and I hear all these hideous things that people
are whispering about you, I don’t know what
to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the
Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you
enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in
London will neither go to your house nor invite you
to theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Staveley.
I met him at dinner last week. Your name happened
to come up in conversation, in connection with the
miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the
Dudley. Staveley curled his lip, and said that
you might have the most artistic tastes, but that
you were a man whom no pure-minded girl should be
allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit
in the same room with. I reminded him that I was
a friend of yours, and asked him what he meant.
He told me. He told me right out before everybody.
It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal
to young men? There was that wretched boy in
the Guards who committed suicide. You were his
great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who
had to leave England, with a tarnished name.
You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian
Singleton, and his dreadful end? What about Lord
Kent’s only son, and his career? I met his
father yesterday in St. James’s Street.
He seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What about
the young Duke of Perth? What sort of life has
he got now? What gentleman would associate with
him?”
“Stop, Basil. You are talking
about things of which you know nothing,” said
Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite
contempt in his voice. “You ask me why
Berwick leaves a room when I enter it. It is
because I know everything about his life, not because
he knows anything about mine. With such blood
as he has in his veins, how could his record be clean?
You ask me about Henry Ashton and young Perth.
Did I teach the one his vices, and the other his debauchery?
If Kent’s silly son takes his wife from the
streets what is that to me? If Adrian Singleton
writes his friend’s name across a bill, am I
his keeper? I know how people chatter in England.
The middle classes air their moral prejudices over
their gross dinner-tables, and whisper about what they
call the profligacies of their betters in order to
try and pretend that they are in smart society, and
on intimate terms with the people they slander.
In this country it is enough for a man to have distinction
and brains for every common tongue to wag against
him. And what sort of lives do these people,
who pose as being moral, lead themselves? My dear
fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of
the hypocrite.”
“Dorian,” cried Hallward,
“that is not the question. England is bad
enough, I know, and English society is all wrong.
That is the reason why I want you to be fine.
You have not been fine. One has a right to judge
of a man by the effect he has over his friends.
Yours seem to lose all sense of honour, of goodness,
of purity. You have filled them with a madness
for pleasure. They have gone down into the depths.
You led them there. Yes: you led them there,
and yet you can smile, as you are smiling now.
And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry
are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if for
none other, you should not have made his sister’s
name a by-word.”
“Take care, Basil. You go too far.”
“I must speak, and you must
listen. You shall listen. When you met Lady
Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched
her. Is there a single decent woman in London
now who would drive with her in the Park? Why,
even her children are not allowed to live with her.
Then there are other stories stories that
you have been seen creeping at dawn out of dreadful
houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest dens
in London. Are they true? Can they be true?
When I first heard them, I laughed. I hear them
now, and they make me shudder. What about your
country house, and the life that is led there?
Dorian, you don’t know what is said about you.
I won’t tell you that I don’t want to preach
to you. I remember Harry saying once that every
man who turned himself into an amateur curate for
the moment always began by saying that, and then proceeded
to break his word. I do want to preach to you.
I want you to lead such a life as will make the world
respect you. I want you to have a clean name
and a fair record. I want you to get rid of the
dreadful people you associate with. Don’t
shrug your shoulders like that. Don’t be
so indifferent. You have a wonderful influence.
Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that
you corrupt everyone with whom you become intimate,
and that it is quite sufficient for you to enter a
house, for shame of some kind to follow after.
I don’t know whether it is so or not. How
should I know? But it is said of you. I am
told things that it seems impossible to doubt.
Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at
Oxford. He showed me a letter that his wife had
written to him when she was dying alone in her villa
at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most
terrible confession I ever read. I told him that
it was absurd that I knew you thoroughly,
and that you were incapable of anything of the kind.
Know you? I wonder do I know you? Before
I could answer that, I should have to see your soul.”
“To see my soul!” muttered
Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and turning
almost white from fear.
“Yes,” answered Hallward,
gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his voice “to
see your soul. But only God can do that.”
A bitter laugh of mockery broke from
the lips of the younger man. “You shall
see it yourself, to-night!” he cried, seizing
a lamp from the table. “Come: it is
your own handiwork. Why shouldn’t you look
at it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards,
if you choose. Nobody would believe you.
If they did believe you, they would like me all the
better for it. I know the age better than you
do, though you will prate about it so tediously.
Come, I tell you. You have chattered enough about
corruption. Now you shall look on it face to face.”
There was the madness of pride in
every word he uttered. He stamped his foot upon
the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt
a terrible joy at the thought that someone else was
to share his secret, and that the man who had painted
the portrait that was the origin of all his shame
was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the
hideous memory of what he had done.
“Yes,” he continued, coming
closer to him, and looking steadfastly into his stern
eyes, “I shall show you my soul. You shall
see the thing that you fancy only God can see.”
Hallward started back. “This
is blasphemy, Dorian!” he cried. “You
must not say things like that. They are horrible,
and they don’t mean anything.”
“You think so?” He laughed again.
“I know so. As for what
I said to you to-night, I said it for your good.
You know I have been always a staunch friend to you.”
“Don’t touch me. Finish what you
have to say.”
A twisted flash of pain shot across
the painter’s face. He paused for a moment,
and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After
all, what right had he to pry into the life of Dorian
Gray? If he had done a tithe of what was rumoured
about him, how much he must have suffered! Then
he straightened himself up, and walked over to the
fireplace, and stood there, looking at the burning
logs with their frost-like ashes and their throbbing
cores of flame.
“I am waiting, Basil,”
said the young man, in a hard, clear voice.
He turned round. “What
I have to say is this,” he cried. “You
must give me some answer to these horrible charges
that are made against you. If you tell me that
they are absolutely untrue from beginning to end, I
shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them!
Can’t you see what I am going through?
My God! don’t tell me that you are bad, and corrupt,
and shameful.”
Dorian Gray smiled. There was
a curl of contempt in his lips. “Come upstairs,
Basil,” he said, quietly. “I keep
a diary of my life from day to day, and it never leaves
the room in which it is written. I shall show
it to you if you come with me.”
“I shall come with you, Dorian,
if you wish it. I see I have missed my train.
That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow.
But don’t ask me to read anything to-night.
All I want is a plain answer to my question.”
“That shall be given to you
upstairs. I could not give it here. You will
not have to read long.”