Love.
I was as a gem concealed;
Me my burning ray revealed.
Koran.
Every promise of the soul has innumerable
fulfilments; each of its joys ripens into a new want.
Nature, uncontainable, flowing, forelooking, in the
first sentiment of kindness anticipates already a benevolence
which shall lose all particular regards in its general
light. The introduction to this felicity is in
a private and tender relation of one to one, which
is the enchantment of human life; which, like a certain
divine rage and enthusiasm, seizes on man at one period
and works a revolution in his mind and body; unites
him to his race, pledges him to the domestic and civic
relations, carries him with new sympathy into nature,
enhances the power of the senses, opens the imagination,
adds to his character heroic and sacred attributes,
establishes marriage, and gives permanence to human
society.
The natural association of the sentiment
of love with the heyday of the blood seems to require
that in order to portray it in vivid tints, which
every youth and maid should confess to be true to their
throbbing experience, one must not be too old.
The delicious fancies of youth reject the least savor
of a mature philosophy, as chilling with age and pedantry
their purple bloom. And therefore I know I incur
the imputation of unnecessary hardness and stoicism
from those who compose the Court and Parliament of
Love. But from these formidable censors I shall
appeal to my seniors. For it is to be considered
that this passion of which we speak, though it begin
with the young, yet forsakes not the old, or rather
suffers no one who is truly its servant to grow old,
but makes the aged participators of it not less than
the tender maiden, though in a different and nobler
sort. For it is a fire that kindling its first
embers in the narrow nook of a private bosom, caught
from a wandering spark out of another private heart,
glows and enlarges until it warms and beams upon multitudes
of men and women, upon the universal heart of all,
and so lights up the whole world and all nature with
its generous flames. It matters not therefore
whether we attempt to describe the passion at twenty,
at thirty, or at eighty years. He who paints it
at the first period will lose some of its later, he
who paints it at the last, some of its earlier traits.
Only it is to be hoped that by patience and the Muses’
aid we may attain to that inward view of the law which
shall describe a truth ever young and beautiful, so
central that it shall commend itself to the eye, at
whatever angle beholden.
And the first condition is, that we
must leave a too close and lingering adherence to
facts, and study the sentiment as it appeared in hope
and not in history. For each man sees his own
life defaced and disfigured, as the life of man is
not, to his imagination. Each man sees over his
own experience a certain stain of error, whilst that
of other men looks fair and ideal. Let any man
go back to those delicious relations which make the
beauty of his life, which have given him sincerest
instruction and nourishment, he will shrink and moan.
Alas! I know not why, but infinite compunctions
embitter in mature life the remembrances of budding
joy and cover every beloved name. Every thing
is beautiful seen from the point of the intellect,
or as truth. But all is sour, if seen as experience.
Details are melancholy; the plan is seemly and noble.
In the actual world the painful kingdom
of time and place dwell care, and canker,
and fear. With thought, with the ideal, is immortal
hilarity, the rose of joy. Round it all the Muses
sing. But grief cleaves to names, and persons,
and the partial interests of to-day and yesterday.
The strong bent of nature is seen
in the proportion which this topic of personal relations
usurps in the conversation of society. What do
we wish to know of any worthy person so much, as how
he has sped in the history of this sentiment?
What books in the circulating libraries circulate?
How we glow over these novels of passion, when the
story is told with any spark of truth and nature!
And what fastens attention, in the intercourse of
life, like any passage betraying affection between
two parties? Perhaps we never saw them before,
and never shall meet them again. But we see them
exchange a glance, or betray a deep emotion, and we
are no longer strangers. We understand them, and
take the warmest interest in the development of the
romance. All mankind love a lover. The earliest
demonstrations of complacency and kindness are nature’s
most winning pictures. It is the dawn of civility
and grace in the coarse and rustic. The rude
village boy teases the girls about the school-house
door; but to-day he comes running into the
entry, and meets one fair child disposing her satchel;
he holds her books to help her, and instantly it seems
to him as if she removed herself from him infinitely,
and was a sacred precinct. Among the throng of
girls he runs rudely enough, but one alone distances
him; and these two little neighbors, that were so
close just now, have learned to respect each other’s
personality. Or who can avert his eyes from the
engaging, half-artful, half-artless ways of school-girls
who go into the country shops to buy a skein of silk
or a sheet of paper, and talk half an hour about nothing
with the broad-faced, good-natured shop-boy. In
the village they are on a perfect equality, which
love delights in, and without any coquetry the happy,
affectionate nature of woman flows out in this pretty
gossip. The girls may have little beauty, yet
plainly do they establish between them and the good
boy the most agreeable, confiding relations, what
with their fun and their earnest, about Edgar and
Jonas and Almira, and who was invited to the party,
and who danced at the dancing-school, and when the
singing-school would begin, and other nothings concerning
which the parties cooed. By and by that boy wants
a wife, and very truly and heartily will he know where
to find a sincere and sweet mate, without any risk
such as Milton deplores as incident to scholars and
great men.
I have been told that in some public
discourses of mine my reverence for the intellect
has made me unjustly cold to the personal relations.
But now I almost shrink at the remembrance of such
disparaging words. For persons are love’s
world, and the coldest philosopher cannot recount the
debt of the young soul wandering here in nature to
the power of love, without being tempted to unsay,
as treasonable to nature, aught derogatory to the
social instincts. For though the celestial rapture
falling out of heaven seizes only upon those of tender
age, and although a beauty overpowering all analysis
or comparison and putting us quite beside ourselves
we can seldom see after thirty years, yet the remembrance
of these visions outlasts all other remembrances, and
is a wreath of flowers on the oldest brows. But
here is a strange fact; it may seem to many men, in
revising their experience, that they have no fairer
page in their life’s book than the delicious
memory of some passages wherein affection contrived
to give a witchcraft, surpassing the deep attraction
of its own truth, to a parcel of accidental and trivial
circumstances. In looking backward they may find
that several things which were not the charm have
more reality to this groping memory than the charm
itself which embalmed them. But be our experience
in particulars what it may, no man ever forgot the
visitations of that power to his heart and brain,
which created all things anew; which was the dawn
in him of music, poetry, and art; which made the face
of nature radiant with purple light, the morning and
the night varied enchantments; when a single tone
of one voice could make the heart bound, and the most
trivial circumstance associated with one form is put
in the amber of memory; when he became all eye when
one was present, and all memory when one was gone;
when the youth becomes a watcher of windows and studious
of a glove, a veil, a ribbon, or the wheels of a carriage;
when no place is too solitary and none too silent,
for him who has richer company and sweeter conversation
in his new thoughts than any old friends, though best
and purest, can give him; for the figures, the motions,
the words of the beloved object are not like other
images written in water, but, as Plutarch said, “enamelled
in fire,” and make the study of midnight:
“Thou art not
gone being gone, where’er thou art,
Thou leav’st
in him thy watchful eyes, in him thy
loving
heart.”
In the noon and the afternoon of life
we still throb at the recollection of days when happiness
was not happy enough, but must be drugged with the
relish of pain and fear; for he touched the secret
of the matter who said of love,
“All other pleasures
are not worth its pains:”
and when the day was not long enough,
but the night too must be consumed in keen recollections;
when the head boiled all night on the pillow with
the generous deed it resolved on; when the moonlight
was a pleasing fever and the stars were letters and
the flowers ciphers and the air was coined into song;
when all business seemed an impertinence, and all the
men and women running to and fro in the streets, mere
pictures.
The passion rebuilds the world for
the youth. It makes all things alive and significant.
Nature grows conscious. Every bird on the boughs
of the tree sings now to his heart and soul.
The notes are almost articulate. The clouds have
faces as he looks on them. The trees of the forest,
the waving grass and the peeping flowers have grown
intelligent; and he almost fears to trust them with
the secret which they seem to invite. Yet nature
soothes and sympathizes. In the green solitude
he finds a dearer home than with men:
“Fountain-heads and pathless
groves,
Places which pale passion loves,
Moonlight walks, when all the fowls
Are safely housed, save bats and owls,
A midnight bell, a passing groan,
These are the sounds we feed upon.”
Behold there in the wood the fine
madman! He is a palace of sweet sounds and sights;
he dilates; he is twice a man; he walks with arms akimbo;
he soliloquizes; he accosts the grass and the trees;
he feels the blood of the violet, the clover and the
lily in his veins; and he talks with the brook that
wets his foot.
The heats that have opened his perceptions
of natural beauty have made him love music and verse.
It is a fact often observed, that men have written
good verses under the inspiration of passion, who cannot
write well under any other circumstances.
The like force has the passion over
all his nature. It expands the sentiment; it
makes the clown gentle and gives the coward heart.
Into the most pitiful and abject it will infuse a
heart and courage to defy the world, so only it have
the countenance of the beloved object. In giving
him to another it still more gives him to himself.
He is a new man, with new perceptions, new and keener
purposes, and a religious solemnity of character and
aims. He does not longer appertain to his family
and society; he is somewhat; he is a person; he is
a soul.
And here let us examine a little nearer
the nature of that influence which is thus potent
over the human youth. Beauty, whose revelation
to man we now celebrate, welcome as the sun wherever
it pleases to shine, which pleases everybody with
it and with themselves, seems sufficient to itself.
The lover cannot paint his maiden to his fancy poor
and solitary. Like a tree in flower, so much
soft, budding, informing loveliness is society for
itself; and she teaches his eye why Beauty was pictured
with Loves and Graces attending her steps. Her
existence makes the world rich. Though she extrudes
all other persons from his attention as cheap and
unworthy, she indemnifies him by carrying out her own
being into somewhat impersonal, large, mundane, so
that the maiden stands to him for a representative
of all select things and virtues. For that reason
the lover never sees personal resemblances in his mistress
to her kindred or to others. His friends find
in her a likeness to her mother, or her sisters, or
to persons not of her blood. The lover sees no
resemblance except to summer evenings and diamond mornings,
to rainbows and the song of birds.
The ancients called beauty the flowering
of virtue. Who can analyze the nameless charm
which glances from one and another face and form?
We are touched with emotions of tenderness and complacency,
but we cannot find whereat this dainty emotion, this
wandering gleam, points. It is destroyed for
the imagination by any attempt to refer it to organization.
Nor does it point to any relations of friendship or
love known and described in society, but, as it seems
to me, to a quite other and unattainable sphere, to
relations of transcendent delicacy and sweetness,
to what roses and violets hint and foreshow. We
cannot approach beauty. Its nature is like opaline
doves’-neck lustres, hovering and evanescent.
Herein it resembles the most excellent things, which
all have this rainbow character, defying all attempts
at appropriation and use. What else did Jean
Paul Richter signify, when he said to music, “Away!
away! thou speakest to me of things which in all my
endless life I have not found, and shall not find.”
The same fluency may be observed in every work of
the plastic arts. The statue is then beautiful
when it begins to be incomprehensible, when it is passing
out of criticism and can no longer be defined by compass
and measuring-wand, but demands an active imagination
to go with it and to say what it is in the act of
doing. The god or hero of the sculptor is always
represented in a transition from that which is representable
to the senses, to that which is not. Then first
it ceases to be a stone. The same remark holds
of painting. And of poetry the success is not
attained when it lulls and satisfies, but when it
astonishes and fires us with new endeavors after the
unattainable. Concerning it Landor inquires “whether
it is not to be referred to some purer state of sensation
and existence.”
In like manner, personal beauty is
then first charming and itself when it dissatisfies
us with any end; when it becomes a story without an
end; when it suggests gleams and visions and not earthly
satisfactions; when it makes the beholder feel his
unworthiness; when he cannot feel his right to it,
though he were Cæsar; he cannot feel more right to
it than to the firmament and the splendors of a sunset.
Hence arose the saying, “If
I love you, what is that to you?” We say so
because we feel that what we love is not in your will,
but above it. It is not you, but your radiance.
It is that which you know not in yourself and can
never know.
This agrees well with that high philosophy
of Beauty which the ancient writers delighted in;
for they said that the soul of man, embodied here
on earth, went roaming up and down in quest of that
other world of its own out of which it came into this,
but was soon stupefied by the light of the natural
sun, and unable to see any other objects than those
of this world, which are but shadows of real things.
Therefore the Deity sends the glory of youth before
the soul, that it may avail itself of beautiful bodies
as aids to its recollection of the celestial good and
fair; and the man beholding such a person in the female
sex runs to her and finds the highest joy in contemplating
the form, movement, and intelligence of this person,
because it suggests to him the presence of that which
indeed is within the beauty, and the cause of the beauty.
If however, from too much conversing
with material objects, the soul was gross, and misplaced
its satisfaction in the body, it reaped nothing but
sorrow; body being unable to fulfil the promise which
beauty holds out; but if, accepting the hint of these
visions and suggestions which beauty makes to his
mind, the soul passes through the body and falls to
admire strokes of character, and the lovers contemplate
one another in their discourses and their actions,
then they pass to the true palace of beauty, more
and more inflame their love of it, and by this love
extinguishing the base affection, as the sun puts out
the fire by shining on the hearth, they become pure
and hallowed. By conversation with that which
is in itself excellent, magnanimous, lowly, and just,
the lover comes to a warmer love of these nobilities,
and a quicker apprehension of them. Then he passes
from loving them in one to loving them in all, and
so is the one beautiful soul only the door through
which he enters to the society of all true and pure
souls. In the particular society of his mate
he attains a clearer sight of any spot, any taint
which her beauty has contracted from this world, and
is able to point it out, and this with mutual joy
that they are now able, without offence, to indicate
blemishes and hindrances in each other, and give to
each all help and comfort in curing the same.
And beholding in many souls the traits of the divine
beauty, and separating in each soul that which is
divine from the taint which it has contracted in the
world, the lover ascends to the highest beauty, to
the love and knowledge of the Divinity, by steps on
this ladder of created souls.
Somewhat like this have the truly
wise told us of love in all ages. The doctrine
is not old, nor is it new. If Plato, Plutarch
and Apuleius taught it, so have Petrarch, Angelo and
Milton. It awaits a truer unfolding in opposition
and rebuke to that subterranean prudence which presides
at marriages with words that take hold of the upper
world, whilst one eye is prowling in the cellar; so
that its gravest discourse has a savor of hams and
powdering-tubs. Worst, when this sensualism intrudes
into the education of young women, and withers the
hope and affection of human nature by teaching that
marriage signifies nothing but a housewife’s
thrift, and that woman’s life has no other aim.
But this dream of love, though beautiful,
is only one scene in our play. In the procession
of the soul from within outward, it enlarges its circles
ever, like the pebble thrown into the pond, or the
light proceeding from an orb. The rays of the
soul alight first on things nearest, on every utensil
and toy, on nurses and domestics, on the house and
yard and passengers, on the circle of household acquaintance,
on politics and geography and history. But things
are ever grouping themselves according to higher or
more interior laws. Neighborhood, size, numbers,
habits, persons, lose by degrees their power over us.
Cause and effect, real affinities, the longing for
harmony between the soul and the circumstance, the
progressive, idealizing instinct, predominate later,
and the step backward from the higher to the lower
relations is impossible. Thus even love, which
is the deification of persons, must become more impersonal
every day. Of this at first it gives no hint.
Little think the youth and maiden who are glancing
at each other across crowded rooms with eyes so full
of mutual intelligence, of the precious fruit long
hereafter to proceed from this new, quite external
stimulus. The work of vegetation begins first
in the irritability of the bark and leaf-buds.
From exchanging glances, they advance to acts of courtesy,
of gallantry, then to fiery passion, to plighting
troth and marriage. Passion beholds its object
as a perfect unit. The soul is wholly embodied,
and the body is wholly ensouled:
“Her pure and eloquent
blood
Spoke in her cheeks, and so distinctly
wrought,
That one might almost say her body thought.”
Romeo, if dead, should be cut up into
little stars to make the heavens fine. Life,
with this pair, has no other aim, asks no more, than
Juliet, than Romeo. Night, day, studies,
talents, kingdoms, religion, are all contained in
this form full of soul, in this soul which is all
form. The lovers delight in endearments, in avowals
of love, in comparisons of their regards. When
alone, they solace themselves with the remembered
image of the other. Does that other see the same
star, the same melting cloud, read the same book,
feel the same emotion, that now delight me? They
try and weigh their affection, and adding up costly
advantages, friends, opportunities, properties, exult
in discovering that willingly, joyfully, they would
give all as a ransom for the beautiful, the beloved
head, not one hair of which shall be harmed.
But the lot of humanity is on these children.
Danger, sorrow, and pain arrive to them, as to all.
Love prays. It makes covenants with Eternal Power
in behalf of this dear mate. The union which is
thus effected and which adds a new value to every
atom in nature for it transmutes every
thread throughout the whole web of relation into a
golden ray, and bathes the soul in a new and sweeter
element is yet a temporary state.
Not always can flowers, pearls, poetry, protestations,
nor even home in another heart, content the awful
soul that dwells in clay. It arouses itself at
last from these endearments, as toys, and puts on the
harness and aspires to vast and universal aims.
The soul which is in the soul of each, craving a perfect
beatitude, detects incongruities, defects and disproportion
in the behavior of the other. Hence arise surprise,
expostulation and pain. Yet that which drew them
to each other was signs of loveliness, signs of virtue;
and these virtues are there, however eclipsed.
They appear and reappear and continue to attract; but
the regard changes, quits the sign and attaches to
the substance. This repairs the wounded affection.
Meantime, as life wears on, it proves a game of permutation
and combination of all possible positions of the parties,
to employ all the resources of each and acquaint each
with the strength and weakness of the other.
For it is the nature and end of this relation, that
they should represent the human race to each other.
All that is in the world, which is or ought to be known,
is cunningly wrought into the texture of man, of woman:
“The person love does
to us fit,
Like manna, has the taste of all in it.”
The world rolls; the circumstances
vary every hour. The angels that inhabit this
temple of the body appear at the windows, and the gnomes
and vices also. By all the virtues they are united.
If there be virtue, all the vices are known as such;
they confess and flee. Their once flaming regard
is sobered by time in either breast, and losing in
violence what it gains in extent, it becomes a thorough
good understanding. They resign each other without
complaint to the good offices which man and woman
are severally appointed to discharge in time, and
exchange the passion which once could not lose sight
of its object, for a cheerful, disengaged furtherance,
whether present or absent, of each other’s designs.
At last they discover that all which at first drew
them together, those once sacred features,
that magical play of charms, was deciduous,
had a prospective end, like the scaffolding by which
the house was built; and the purification of the intellect
and the heart from year to year is the real marriage,
foreseen and prepared from the first, and wholly above
their consciousness. Looking at these aims with
which two persons, a man and a woman, so variously
and correlatively gifted, are shut up in one house
to spend in the nuptial society forty or fifty years,
I do not wonder at the emphasis with which the heart
prophesies this crisis from early infancy, at the profuse
beauty with which the instincts deck the nuptial bower,
and nature and intellect and art emulate each other
in the gifts and the melody they bring to the epithalamium.
Thus are we put in training for a
love which knows not sex, nor person, nor partiality,
but which seeks virtue and wisdom everywhere, to the
end of increasing virtue and wisdom. We are by
nature observers, and thereby learners. That
is our permanent state. But we are often made
to feel that our affections are but tents of a night.
Though slowly and with pain, the objects of the affections
change, as the objects of thought do. There are
moments when the affections rule and absorb the man
and make his happiness dependent on a person or persons.
But in health the mind is presently seen again, its
overarching vault, bright with galaxies of immutable
lights, and the warm loves and fears that swept over
us as clouds must lose their finite character and blend
with God, to attain their own perfection. But
we need not fear that we can lose any thing by the
progress of the soul. The soul may be trusted
to the end. That which is so beautiful and attractive
as these relations, must be succeeded and supplanted
only by what is more beautiful, and so on for ever.