The great telescope of the Prophet
was carefully adjusted upon its lofty, brass-bound
stand in the bow window of Number One Thousand Berkeley
Square. It pointed towards the remarkably bright
stars which twinkled in the December sky over frosty
London, those guardian stars which always seemed to
the Prophet to watch with peculiar solicitude over
the most respectable neighbourhood in which he resided.
The polestar had its eye even now upon the mansion
of an adjacent ex-premier, the belt of Orion was not
oblivious of a belted earl’s cosy red-brick
home just opposite, and the house of a certain famous
actor and actress close by had been taken by the Great
Bear under its special protection.
The Prophet’s butler, Mr. Ferdinand that
bulky and veracious gentleman threw open
the latticed windows of the drawing-room and let the
cold air rush blithely in. Then he made up the
fire carefully, placed a copy of Mr. Malkiel’s
Almanac, bound in dull pink and silver brocade
by Miss Clorinda Dolbrett of the Cromwell Road, upon
a small tulip-wood table near the telescope, patted
a sofa cushion affectionately on the head, glanced
around with the meditative eye of the butler born
not made, and quitted the comfortable apartment with
a salaried, but soft, footstep.
It was a pleasant chamber, this drawing-room
of Number One Thousand. It spoke respectfully
of the generations that were past and seemed serenely
certain of a comfortable future. There was no
too modern uneasiness about it, no trifling, gim-crack
furniture constructed to catch the eye and the angles
of any one venturing to seek repose upon it, no unmeaning
rubbish of ornaments or hectic flummery of second-rate
pictures. Above the high oaken mantel-piece was
a little pure bust in marble of the Prophet when a
small boy. To right and left were pretty miniatures
in golden frames of the Prophet’s delightfully
numerous grandmothers. Here might be seen Mrs.
Prothero, the great ship-builder’s faithful wife,
in blue brocade, and Lady Camptown, who reigned at
Bath, in grey tabinet and diamond buckles, when Miss
Jane Austen was writing her first romance; Mrs. Susan
Burlington, who knew Lord Byron a remarkable
fact and Lady Sophia Green, who knew her
own mind, a fact still more remarkable. The last-named
lady wore black with a Roman nose, and the combination
was admirably convincing. Here might also be observed
Mrs. Stuefitt, Mistress of the Mazurka, and the Lady
Jane Follington, of whom George the Second had spoken
openly in terms of approbation. She affected
plum colour and had eyes like sloes the
fashionable hue in the neat-foot-and-pretty-ankle
period. The flames of the fire twinkled brightly
over this battalion of deuced fine women, who were
all, without one exception, the grandmothers in
various degrees of the Prophet. When
speaking of them, in the highest terms, he never differentiated
them by the adjectives great, or great-great.
They were all kind and condescending enough to be
his grandmothers. For a man of his sensitive,
delicate and grateful disposition this was enough.
He thought them all quite perfect, and took them all
under the protection of his soft and beaming eyes.
Of Mrs. Merillia, the live grandmother
with whom he had the great felicity to dwell in Berkeley
Square, he seldom said anything in public praise.
The incense he offered at her shrine rose, most sweetly
perfumed, from his daily life. The hearth of this
agreeable and grandmotherly chamber was attractive
with dogs, the silver cage beside it with green love-birds.
Upon the floor was a heavy, dull-blue carpet over
which as has been intimated even
a butler so heavy as Mr. Ferdinand could go softly.
The walls were dressed with a dull blue paper that
looked like velvet.
Here and there upon them hung a picture:
a landscape of George Morland, lustily English, a
Cotman, a Cuyp cows in twilight a
Reynolds, faded but exquisitely genteel. A lovely
little harpsichord meditating on Scarlatti stood
in one angle, a harp, tied with most delicate ribands
of ivory satin powdered with pimpernels, in another.
Many waxen candles shed a tender and unostentatious
radiance above their careful grease-catchers.
Upon pretty tables lay neat books by Fanny Burney,
Beatrice Harraden, Mary Wilkins, and Max Beerbohm,
also the poems of Lord Byron and of Lord de Tabley.
Near the hearth was a sofa on which an emperor might
have laid an easy head that wore a crown, and before
every low and seductive chair was set a low and seductive
footstool.
A grandmother’s clock pronounced
the hour of ten in a frail and elegant voice as the
finely-carved oak door was opened, and the Prophet
seriously entered this peaceful room, carrying a copy
of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius in his
hand.
He was a neatly-made little man of
fashionable, even of modish, cut, spare, smart and
whimsical, with a clean-shaved, small-featured face,
large, shining brown eyes, abundant and slightly-waving
brown hair, that could only be parted, with the sweetest
sorrow, in the centre of his well-shaped, almost philosophical
head, and movements light and temperate as those of
a meditative squirrel. Having just dined he was
naturally in evening dress, with a butterfly tie, gleaming
pumps, and a buttonhole of violets. He shut the
door gently, glanced at his nice-looking grandmothers,
and, walking forward very quietly and demurely, applied
his eye to the telescope, lowering himself slightly
by a Sandow exercise, which he had practised before
he became a prophet. Having remained in this
position of astronomical observation for some minutes,
he deviated into the upright, closed the window, and
tinkled a small silver bell that stood on the tulip-wood
table beside Malkiel’s Almanac.
Mr. Ferdinand appeared, looking respectfully buoyant.
“Has Mr. Malkiel sent any reply
to my inquiry, Mr. Ferdinand?” asked the Prophet.
“He has not, sir,” replied
Mr. Ferdinand, sympathetically.
“Did the boy messenger say he delivered my note?”
“He said so, sir, on his Bible oath, sir.”
“And do you believe him?”
“Oh, sir!” responded Mr.
Ferdinand, in a shocked voice, “surely a London
lad would not be found to tell a lie!”
“I hope not, Mr. Ferdinand. Still did
he look a nervous sort of lad?”
“He was a trifle pale, sir,
about the gills but a heart of gold, sir,
I feel sure. He wore four medals, sir.”
“Four medals! Nevertheless,
he may have been frightened to go to Mr. Malkiel’s
door. That will do, Mr. Ferdinand.”
Mr. Ferdinand was about to bow and
retire when the Prophet, after a moment of hesitation,
added,
“Stay, Mr. Ferdinand. Mrs.
Merillia has gone to the Gaiety Theatre to-night.
I expect her back at half-past eleven. She may
need assistance on her return.”
“Assistance, sir! Mrs. Merillia, sir!”
Mr. Ferdinand’s luminous eyes shone with amazement.
“She may I say she may have
to be carried to bed.”
Mr. Ferdinand’s jaw dropped.
He gave at the knees and was obliged to cling to a
Chippendale cabinet for support.
“Have an armchair ready in the
hall in case of necessity and tell Gustavus to sit
up. Mrs. Merillia must not be dropped. You
understand. That will do, Mr. Ferdinand.”
Mr. Ferdinand endeavoured to bow,
and ultimately succeeded in retiring. When his
tremulous shoulders were no longer visible, the Prophet
opened Marcus Aurelius, and, seating himself in a
corner of the big couch by the fire, crossed his legs
one over the other and began to read that timid Ancient’s
consolatory, but unconvincing, remarks. Occasionally
he paused, however, murmured doubtfully, “Will
she have to be carried to bed?” shook his head
mournfully and then resumed his reading.
While he thus employs his time, we
must say a word or two about him.
Mr. Hennessey Vivian was now a man
of thirty-eight, of excellent fortune, of fine connections,
and of admirable disposition. He had become an
orphan as soon as it was in his power to do so, having
lost his father Captain Vivian of Her Majesty’s
Tenth Lancers some months before, and his
mother who had been a Merillia of Chipping
Sudbury a few minutes after his birth.
In these unfortunate circumstances, over which he,
poor infant, had absolutely no control whatever
unkind people might say! he devolved upon
his mother’s mother, the handsome and popular
Mrs. Merillia, who assumed his charge with the rosy
alacrity characteristic of her in all her undertakings.
With her the little Hennessey had passed his infantine
years, blowing happy bubbles, presiding over the voyages
of his own private Noah from the Army and
Navy Stores, with two hundred animals of both sexes! eating
pap prepared by Mrs. Merillia’s own chef,
and sleeping in a cot hung with sunny silk that might
have curtained Venus or have shaken about Aurora as
she rose in the first morning of the world. From
her he had acquired the alphabet and many a ginger-nut
and decorative bonbon. And from her, too, he
had set forth, with tears, in his new Eton jacket and
broad white collar, to go to Mr. Chapman’s preparatory
school for little boys at Slough. Here he remained
for several years, acquiring a respect for the poet
Gray and a love of Slough peppermint that could only
cease with life. Here too he made friends with
Robert Green, son of Lord Churchmore, who was afterwards
to be a certain influence in his life. His existence
at Slough was happy. Indeed, so great was his
affection for the place that his removal to Eton cost
him suffering scarcely less acute than that which
presently attended his departure from Eton to Christchurch.
Over his sensations on leaving Oxford we prefer to
draw a veil, only saying that his last outlook as
an undergraduate over her immemorial towers
was as hazy as the average Cabinet Minister’s
outlook over the events of the day and the desires
of the community.
But if the moisture of the Prophet
did him credit at that painful period of his life,
it must be allowed that his behaviour on being formally
introduced into London Society showed no puling regret,
no backward longings after echoing colleges, lost
dons and the scouts that are no more. He was
quite at his ease, and displayed none of the high-pitched
contempt of Piccadilly that is often so amusingly characteristic
of the young gentlemen accustomed to “the High.”
Mrs. Merillia, who had been a widow
ever since she could remember, possessed the lease
of the house in Berkeley Square in which the Prophet
was now sitting. It was an excellent mansion,
with everything comfortable about it, a duke on one
side, a Chancellor of the Exchequer on the other,
electric light, several bathrooms and the gramophone.
There was never any question of the Prophet setting
up house by himself. On leaving Oxford he joined
his ample fortune to Mrs. Merillia’s as a matter
of course, and they settled down together with the
greatest alacrity and hopefulness. Nor were their
pleasant relations once disturbed during the fifteen
years that elapsed before the Prophet applied his
eye to the telescope in the bow window and gave Mr.
Ferdinand the instructions which have just been recorded.
These fifteen years had not gone by
without leaving their mark upon our hero. He
had done several things during their passage.
For instance, he had written a play, very nearly proposed
to the third daughter of a London clergyman and twice
been to the Derby. Such events had, not unnaturally,
had their effect upon the formation of his character
and even upon the expression of his intelligent face.
The writing of the play and, perhaps, its
refusal by all the actor-managers of the town had
traced a tiny line at each corner of his mobile mouth.
The third daughter of the London clergyman his
sentiment for her had taught his hand the
slightly episcopal gesture which was so admired at
the Lambeth Palace Garden Party in the summer of 1892.
And the great race meeting was responsible for the
rather tight trousers and the gentleman-jockey smile
which he was wont to assume when he set out for a
canter in the Row. From all this it will be guessed
that our Prophet was exceedingly amenable to the influences
that throng at the heels of the human destiny.
Indeed, he was. And some few months before this
story opens it came about that he encountered a gentleman
who was, in fact, the primary cause of this story
being true. Who was this gentleman? you will
say. Sir Tiglath Butt, the great astronomer, Correspondent
of the Institute of France, Member of the Royal College
of Science, Demonstrator of Astronomical Physics,
author of the pamphlet, “Star-Gazers,”
and the brochure, “An investigation into the
psychical condition of those who see stars,”
C.B.F.R.S. and popular member of the Colley Cibber
Club in Long Acre.
The Prophet was introduced to Sir
Tiglath at the Colley Cibber Club, and though Sir
Tiglath, who was of a freakish disposition and much
addicted to his joke declined to speak to him, on
the ground that he (Sir Tiglath) had lost his voice
and was unlikely to find it in conversation, the Prophet
was greatly impressed by the astronomer’s enormous
brick-red face, round body, turned legs, eyes like
marbles, and capacity for drinking port-wine so
much so, in fact that, on leaving the club, he hastened
to buy a science primer on astronomy, and devoted himself
for several days to a minute investigation of the
Milky Way.
As there is a fascination of the earth,
so is there a fascination of the heavens. Along
the dim, empurpled highways that lead from star to
star, from meteorite to comet, the imagination travels
wakefully by night, and the heart leaps as it draws
near to the silver bosses of the moon. Mrs. Merillia
was soon obliged to permit the intrusion of a gigantic
telescope into her pretty drawing-room, and found herself
expected to converse at the dinner-table on the eight
moons of Saturn, the belts of Jupiter, the asteroids
of Mars and the phases of Venus. These last she
at first declined to discuss with a man, even though
he were her grandson. But she was won over by
the Prophet’s innocent persuasiveness, and drawn
on until she spoke almost as readily of the movements
of the stars as formerly she had spoken of the movements
of the Court from Windsor to London, and from London
to Balmoral. In truth, she expected that Hennessey’s
passion for the comets would cease as had ceased his
passion for the clergyman’s daughter; that his
ardour for astronomy would die as had died his ardour
for play-writing; that he would give up going to Corona
Borealis and to the Southern Fish as he had given
up going to the Derby. Time proved her wrong.
As the days flew Hennessey became increasingly impassioned.
He was more often at the telescope than at the Bachelors’,
and seemed on the way to become almost as gibbous as
the planet Mars. Even he slightly neglected his
social duties; and on one terrible occasion forgot
that he was engaged to dine at Cambridge House because
he was assisting at a transit of Mercury.
Now all this began to weigh upon the
mind of Mrs. Merillia, despite the amazing cheerfulness
of disposition which she had inherited from two long
lines of confirmed optimists her ancestors
on the paternal and maternal sides. She did not
know how to brood, but, if she had, she might well
have been led to do so. And even as it was she
had been reduced to so unusual a condition of dejection
that, a week before the evening we are describing,
she had been obliged to order a box at the Gaiety
Theatre, she, who, like all optimists, habitually frequented
those playhouses where she could behold gloomy tragedies,
awful melodramas, or those ironic pieces called farces,
in which the ultimate misery of which human nature
is capable is drawn to its farthest point.
In the beginning of this new dejection
of hers, Mrs. Merillia was now seated in a stage box
at the “Gaiety,” with an elderly General
of Life Guards, a Mistress of the Robes, and the grandfather
of the Central American Ambassador at the Court of
St. James, and all four of them were smiling at a
neat little low comedian, who was singing, without
any voice and with the utmost precision, a pathetic
romance entitled, “De Coon Wot Got de Chuck.”
Meanwhile the Prophet was engaged
for the twentieth time in considering whether Mrs.
Merillia, on her return from this festival, would have
to be carried to bed by hired menials.
Why?
This brings us to the great turning
point in our hero’s life, to the point when
first he began to respect the strange powers stirring
within him.
Until he encountered Sir Tiglath Butt
in the dining-room of the Colley Cibber Club Hennessey
had been but a dilettante fellow. He had written
a play, but airily, and without the twenty years of
arduous and persistent study declared by the dramatic
critics to be absolutely necessary before any intelligent
man can learn how to get a bishop on, or a chambermaid
off, the stage. He had nearly proposed to a clergyman’s
daughter, but thoughtlessly, and without any previous
examination into the clericalism of rectory females,
any first-hand knowledge of mothers’ meetings,
devoid of which he must be a stout-hearted gentleman
who would rush in where even curates often fear to
tread. He had been to the Derby, but without
wearing a bottle-green veil or carrying a betting-book.
In fact, he had not taken life very seriously, or
fully appreciated the solemn duties it brings to all
who bear its yoke. Only when the plump red hand
of Sir Tiglath holding a bumper of thirty-four
port pointed the way to the heavens, did
Hennessey begin through his telescope to
see the great possibilities that foot it about the
existence of even the meanest man who eats, drinks
and suffers. For through his telescope he saw
that he might be a prophet. Malkiel read the
future in the stars. Why not he?
He endeavoured to do so. He sought
an intimacy with the benefic Jupiter, and found
it perhaps by a secret kowtowing to Sagittarius.
He made up openly to Canis Major and was shortly
on what might almost be considered terms of affection
with Venus. And he was, moreover, presently
quite fearless in the presence of Saturn, quite
unabashed beneath the glittering eye of Mercury.
Then, as the neophyte growing bold by familiarity
with the circle of the great ones, he ventured on
his first prophecy, a discreet and even humble forecast
of the weather. He predicted a heavy fall of snow
for a certain evening, and so distrusted his own prediction
that when the evening came, mild and benign, he sallied
forth to the Empire Palace of Varieties, and stayed
till near midnight, laughing at the sallies of French
clowns, and applauding the frail antics of cockatoos
on motor bicycles. When, on the stroke of twelve,
he came airily forth wrapped in the lightest of dust
coats, he was obliged to endure the greatest of man’s
amazements the knowledge that there was
a well of truth within him. Leicester Square
was swathed in an ivory fleece, and he was obliged
to gain Berkeley Square on foot, treading gingerly
in pumps, escorted by linkmen with flaring golden
torches, and preceded by tipsy but assiduous ruffians
armed with shovels, who, with many a lusty oath and
horrid imprecation, cleared a thin thread of path
between the towering walls of snow that sparkled faintly
in the gaslight.
This experience fired him. He
rose up early, lay down late, and, quite with her
assent, cast the horoscope of Mrs. Merillia in the
sweat of his brow. He cast, we say, her horoscope
and, from a certain conjunction of the planets, he
gathered, to his horror, that upon the fifteenth day
of the month of January she would suffer an accident
while on an evening jaunt. We find him now, on
this fifteenth day of the first month, aware of his
revered grandmother’s intrepid expedition to
the Gaiety Theatre, waiting her return to Berkeley
Square with mingled feelings which we might analyse
for pages, but which we prefer baldly to state.
He longed to be proved indeed a prophet,
and he longed also to see his beloved relative return
from her sheaf of pleasures in the free and unconstrained
use of all her graceful limbs. He was, therefore,
torn by foes in a mental conflict, and was in no case
to sip the philosophic honey of Marcus Aurelius as
he sat between the telescope and the fire in the comfortable
drawing-room awaiting his grandmother’s return.
“Gustavus,” said Mr. Ferdinand
in the servants’ hall to the flushed footman
who lay upon a what-not, sipping a glass of ale and
reading a new and unabridged farthing edition of Carlyle’s
French Revolution, “Gustavus, Mrs. Merillia
has been and gone to the Gaiety Theatre to-night.
We expect her back at eleven-thirty sharp. She
may need assistance on her return, Gustavus.”
The footman put down the tumbler which
he was in the act of raising to his pouted lips.
“Assistance, Mr. Ferdinand!”
he ejaculated. “Mrs. Merillia, Mr. Ferdinand!”
“She may we say she
may have to be carried to bed, Gustavus.”
Gustavus’s jaw dropped, and
the French Revolution fluttered in his startled
hands.
“Good lawks, Mr. Ferdinand!”
he exclaimed (not quoting from Carlyle).
“Have an armchair ready in the
hall, Gustavus. Mrs. Merillia must not be dropped.
You understand? That will do, Gustavus.”
And Mr. Ferdinand passed to the adjacent
supper-table, to join the upper housemaid in a discussion
of two subjects that were very near to their hearts,
a round of beef and a tureen of pickled cabbage, while
Gustavus got up from the what-not in a bemused manner,
and proceeded to search dreamily for an armchair.
He came upon one by chance in the dining-room, and
wheeled it out into the hall just as the clocks in
the house rang out the half-hour after eleven.
The Prophet above sprang up from the
couch by the fire, Mr. Ferdinand below closed his
discussion with the upper housemaid, and the former
rapidly came down, the latter up, stairs as the roll
of wheels broke through the silence of the square.
Gustavus, in an attitude of bridled
curiosity, was posed beneath a polar bear that held
an electric lamp. His hand was laid upon the back
of the armchair, and his round hazel eyes were turned
expectantly towards the hall as his two masters joined
him.
“Is all ready, Mr. Ferdinand?”
said the Prophet, anxiously.
“All is ready, sir,” replied the butler.
“Wheel the chair forward, Gustavus,
if you please,” said the Prophet. “Mrs.
Merillia must not be dropped. Remember that.”
“Not be dropped, sir no.”
The chair ran forward on its amicable
castors as a carriage was heard to stop outside.
Mr. Ferdinand flung open the portal, and the Prophet
glided out excitedly upon the step.
“Well?” he cried, “well?”
A footman, in a long drab coat with
red facings, was preparing to get off the box of a
smart brougham, but before he could reach the pavement,
a charming head, covered with a lace cap, was thrust
out of the window, and a musical and almost girlish
voice cried,
“All nonsense, Hennessey, all
rubbish! Saturn don’t know what he’s
talkin’ about. Look!”
The carriage door was vivaciously
opened from the inside and a delightful little old
lady, dressed in brown silk, with a long, cheerful
pointed nose, rosy cheeks, and chestnut hair that
almost mightn’t have been a wig in certain lights prepared
to leap forth without waiting for the reverent assistance
that the Prophet, flanked by Mr. Ferdinand and Gustavus,
was in waiting to afford.
As she jumped, she began to cry, “Not
much wrong with me, is there, Hennessey?” but
before the sentence was completed she had caught her
neat foot in her brown silk gown, had stumbled from
the step of the carriage to the pavement, had twisted
her pretty ankle, had reeled and almost fallen, had
been caught by the Prophet and Mr. Ferdinand, borne
tenderly into the hall, and placed in the armchair
which the terrified Gustavus, with almost enraged
ardour, drove forward to receive her. As she
sank down in it, helpless, Mrs. Merillia exclaimed,
with unabated vivacity,
“It’s happened, Hennessey,
it’s happened! But it was my own doin’
and yours. You shouldn’t have prophesied
at your age, and I shouldn’t have jumped at
mine.
“Dearest grannie!” cried
the Prophet, on his knees beside her, “how grieved,
how shocked I am! Is it is it ”
“Sprained, Hennessey?”
He nodded. Mechanically Mr. Ferdinand
nodded. Gustavus let his powdered head drop,
too, in imitation of his superiors.
“I’ll tell you in the drawin’ room.”
She placed her pretty, mittened hands
upon the arms of the chair, and gave a little wriggle,
trying to get up. Then she cried out musically,
“No, I must be carried up. Mr. Ferdinand!”
“Ma’am!”
“Is Gustavus to be trusted?”
“Trusted, ma’am!”
cried Mr. Ferdinand, looking at Gustavus, who had
assumed an expression of pale and pathetic dignity.
“Trusted a London footman! Oh,
ma’am!”
His voice failed. He choked and
began to rummage in the pocket of his black tail coat
for his perfumed handkerchief.
“T’st, t’st!
I mean his arms,” said Mrs. Merillia, patting
her delicate hands quickly on the chair. “Can
he carry me?”
The countenance of Mr. Ferdinand cleared,
while Gustavus eagerly extended his right arm, bent
it sharply, and allowed his magnificent biceps to
rise up in sudden majesty. Mrs. Merillia was reassured.
“Hoist me to the drawin’-room,
then,” she said. “Hennessey, will
you walk behind?”
The procession was formed, and the
little old lady proceeded by a succession of jerks
to the upper floor, her silk gown rustling against
the balusters, and her tiny feet dangling loosely in
mid-air, while her long and elegant head nodded each
time Mr. Ferdinand and Gustavus pranced carefully
sideways to a higher step. The Prophet followed
solicitously behind, with hands outstretched to check
any dangerous recoil. His face was very grave,
but not entirely unhappy.
“Set me down by the fire,”
said Mrs. Merillia, when she found herself being smoothly
propelled through the atmosphere of the drawing-room.
The menials obeyed with breathless assiduity.
“And now bring me a sandwich,
a glass of toast and water and a fan, if you please.
Yes, put the footstool well under me.”
“Dearest grannie,” said
the Prophet, when the men had retired, “are you
in great pain?”
“No, Hennessey. Are you?”
Mrs. Merillia’s green eyes twinkled.
“I!”
“Yes, at my accident. For
my ankle is sprained, I’m almost sure, and I
shall have to lie up presently in wet bandages.
Tell me, are you really pained that I have had the
accident you prophesied?”
She glanced from her grandson to the
telescope that pointed toward the stars and back again.
“I am, indeed, sincerely grieved,”
the Prophet answered with genuine emotion.
“Yes. But if I’d
jumped out all right, and was sittin’ here now
in a perfect condition of health, you’d have
been sincerely grieved, too.”
“I hope not, grannie,”
said the Prophet. But he looked meditative.
Mr. Ferdinand brought the toast and
water, the sandwich and the fan. When he had
trodden across the carpet out of the room Mrs. Merillia
continued,
“Hennessey, you see where this
prophetic business is leadin’ you. It has
made you charmed at my accident. Yes, it has.”
She spoke without any pathos, humorously
indeed, in a bright tone full of common sense.
And she nodded at him over her toast and water with
a chaffing, demure smile. But the Prophet winced
and put his hand to his thick brown hair.
“No, no,” he cried quickly.
“That’s impossible. It can’t
be.” But the statements sounded like perturbed
questions.
“Think!” said his grandmother,
looking down at her poor, helpless foot as it lay
on the velvet stool. “If I hadn’t
had an accident to-night, you’d have been obliged
to think ill of of which of them
was it that had the impertinence to talk my affairs
over with you?”
“Mercury and Uranus, Jupiter,
Saturn and Venus,” said the Prophet with almost
terrible gravity.
“Exactly. I always have
thought ill of the last, but that’s nothin’
to do with it. Weigh me in the balance against
five planets are they all planets? and
how do the scales go? You see, Hennessey!”
The Prophet looked much distressed.
He saw his beloved grandmother by the fire and the
bright stars twinkling through the frosty window-panes.
He thought of his telescope, of Sir Tiglath, of Mr.
Malkiel, and of the future, and the velvety blue walls
of the drawing-room seemed to spin round him.
“Prophecy,” continued
Mrs. Merillia, fanning herself till the lace lappets
of her priceless cap fluttered above her orderly and
clasping wig, “is dangerous, for often it can
cause its own fulfilment. If you hadn’t
said that because of a certain conjunction of planets or
whatever it was in my horoscope, I should
have an accident to-night, I shouldn’t have
jumped out of the brougham. I should have waited
for Mr. Ferdinand to assist me, as befits a gentlewoman.”
“But, grannie, I assure you
I was most anxious to save you. I hoped I had
made a mistake in your horoscope. I did, really.
I was so nervous that I sent to Mr. Malkiel while
you were at the theatre and implored him to look into
the matter as an expert.”
“Mr. Malkiel! Who is he? Do we know
him?”
“No. But we know his marvellous Almanac.”
“The Almanac person!
Why, Malkiel is surely a myth, Hennessey, a number
of people, a company, a syndicate, or something of
that kind.”
“So I thought, grannie.
But I have made inquiries through a detective
agency and I have discovered that he is
one person; in fact, a man, just like you and me.”
“Rather an odd man then! Is he in the Red
Book?”
“No. He is, I understand,
of a very retiring and secretive disposition.
In fact, I have had great difficulty in learning anything
about him. But at length I have discovered that
he receives and answers letters at an address in London.”
“Indeed. Where is it?”
“Jellybrand’s Library,
Eleven Hundred Z, Shaftesbury Avenue. I sent a
boy messenger there to-day.”
“Did you receive a reply?”
“No. I think the boy although
Mr. Ferdinand tells me he wore four medals, I presume
for courage must have become nervous on
perceiving Mr. Malkiel’s name on the envelope,
have thrown the note down a grating, and bolted before
he reached the place, though he said on
his Bible oath, I understand from Mr. Ferdinand he
delivered the note. In any case I got no answer.
How are you feeling?”
“Twisted, but prophetic.
I foretell that my ankle will be swelled beyond recognition
to-morrow. Help me to bed, Hennessey.”
The Prophet flew to his dear relative’s
assistance, and Mrs. Merillia endeavoured to rise
and to lean upon his anxious arm. After a struggle,
however, in which the Prophet took part and two chairs
were overset, she was obliged to desist.
“You must ring the bell, Hennessey,”
she said. “Mr. Ferdinand and Gustavus must
carry me to bed in the chair.”
The Prophet sprang tragically to the
bell. It was answered. The procession was
re-formed, and Mrs. Merillia was carried to bed, still
smiling, nodding at each stair and bearing herself
with admirable courage.
As Mr. Ferdinand and Gustavus descended
to the basement after the completion of their unusual
task, the latter said solemnly,
“However should master have
come to know as the missis wouldn’t be able
to put foot to floor this night, Mr. Ferdinand?
However?”
“I cannot answer you, Gustavus,”
Mr. Ferdinand replied, shaking his broad and globe-like
head, round whose bald cupola the jet-black hair was
brushed in two half moons decorated with a renowned
“butler’s own special pomade.”
“Well, Mr. Ferdinand,”
rejoined Gustavus, stretching out one hand for pale
ale, the other for French Revolution, “I
don’t like it.”
“Why, Gustavus?” inquired
Mr. Ferdinand, preparing to resume his discussion
with the accommodating upper housemaid. “Why?”
“Because it seems strange like,
Mr. Ferdinand,” said Gustavus, lifting the glass
to his lips, the French Revolution to his eyes.
“It do seem strange, Gustavus,”
answered Mr. Ferdinand, leaving out the “like”
in a cultivated manner. “It do.”
In the drawing-room the Prophet stood,
with clenched hands, gazing through the telescope
at Mercury and Uranus, Jupiter, Saturn and Venus,
while, on the second floor, Mrs. Fancy Quinglet, Mrs.
Merillia’s devoted, but occasionally disconcerting,
maid, swathed her mistress’s ankle in bandages
previously steeped in cold water and in vinegar.