When Mr. Sagittarius, running at his
fullest speed, emerged from Zoological House, wearing
the hat and coat that the saturnine little clergyman
had left behind him, the night was damp and gusty.
As he hastened down the drive, and the sound of twenty
guitars, playing “Oh would I were a Spaniard
among you lemon groves!” died away in the lighted
mansion behind him, he heard the roaring of the beasts
in the gardens close by. In the wet darkness
it sounded peculiarly terrific. He shuddered,
and, holding up Mr. Ferdinand’s trousers with
both hands, hurried onward through the mire, whither
he knew not. His only thought was that all was
now discovered and that his life was in danger.
A woman’s vanity had wrecked his future.
He must hide somewhere for the night, and get away
in the morning, perhaps on board some tramp steamer
bound for Buenos Ayres, or on a junk weighing anchor
for Hayti or Java, or some other distant place.
Vague memories of books he had read when a boy came
back to him as he ran through the unkempt wilds of
the Regent’s Park. He saw himself a stowaway
hidden in a hold, alone with rats and ships’
biscuits. He saw himself working his way out before
the mast, sent aloft in hurricanes on pitch-black
nights, or turning the wheel the wrong way round and
bringing the ship to wreck upon iron-bound coasts
swarming with sharks and savages. The lions roared
again, and the black panthers snarled behind their
prison bars. He thought of the peaceful waters
of the river Mouse, of the library of Madame, of the
happy little circle of architects and their wives,
of all that he must leave.
What wonder if he dropped a tear into
the muddy road? What wonder if a sob rent the
bosom of Mr. Ferdinand’s now disordered shirt
front? On and on Mr. Sagittarius or
Malkiel the Second, as he may from henceforth be called went
blindly, on and on till the Park was left behind, till
crescents gave way to squares, and squares to streets.
He passed an occasional policeman and slunk away from
the penetrating bull’s-eye. He heard now
and then the far-off rattle of a cab, the shrill cry
of a whistle, the howl of a butler summoning a vehicle,
the coo of a cook bidding good-night to the young
tradesman whom she loved before the area gate.
And all these familiar London sounds struck strangely
on his ear. When would he hear them again?
Perhaps never. He stumbled on blinded with emotion.
Dogs, we know are guided by a strange
instinct to find their homes even by unfamiliar paths.
Pigeons will fly across wide spaces and drop down
to the wicker cage that awaits them. And it would
appear that prophets are not without a certain faculty
that may be called topographical. For how else
can the following fact be explained? Malkiel the
Second, after apparently endless wandering, found
himself totally unable to proceed further. His
legs gave way beneath him. His breath failed.
His brain swam. He reeled, stretched forth his
hands and clutched at the nearest support. This
chanced to be a railing, wet, slimy, cold. He
grasped it, leaned against it, and for a few moments
remained where he was in a sort of trance. Then,
gradually, full consciousness returned. He glanced
up and beheld the black garden of a square. Somehow
it looked familiar. He seemed to know those shadowy,
leafless trees, the roadway between him and them,
even the pavement upon which his boots his
own boots were set. His lack-lustre
eyes travelled to the houses that bordered the square,
then to the house against whose area railings he was
leaning, and he started with amazement. For he
was in Berkeley Square, leaning against the railing
of number one thousand. He gazed up at the windows.
One or two faint lights twinkled. Then perhaps
the household had not yet retired for the night.
An idea seized him. He must rest. He must
snatch a brief interval of repose, before starting
for the docks at dawn to find a ship in whose hold
he could seek seclusion, till the great seas roared
round her, and he could declare himself to the captain
and crew without fear of being put ashore. Why
not rest here in number one thousand? True, the
Prophet would presently be returning possibly with
Madame, but he would bribe Mr. Ferdinand not to mention
his whereabouts. It was no doubt a very rash
proceeding, but he was utterly exhausted, he felt
that he could go no further, he found himself before
an almost friendly door. What wonder then if
he tottered up the steps and tapped feebly upon it?
There was no answer. He tapped again more loudly.
This time his summons was heard. Steps approached.
There was a moment’s pause. Then the door
opened, and Gustavus appeared looking rather sleepy,
but still decidedly intellectual. Malkiel the
Second pulled himself together and faced the footman
boldly.
“You know me?” he said.
Gustavus examined him closely.
“Yes, sir,” he replied
at length. “By the clothes. I should
know Mr. Ferdinand’s trouserings among a thousand.”
Malkiel the Second realised that emotion
probably rendered his face unrecognisable. But
at least his legs spoke for him. That was something,
and he continued, with an attempt at ease and boldness,
“Right! I have returned to change them.”
“Yes, sir. Mr. Ferdinand has retired to
bed, sir.”
“Don’t wake him. I can just leave
them for him.”
“Very well, sir.”
And Gustavus admitted Malkiel to the
dimly-lit hall and shut the door softly.
“What is your name, young man?” said Malkiel,
whispering.
“Gustavus, sir.”
“Ah! Gustavus, would you like to earn a
hundred pounds to-night?”
Gustavus started.
“I don’t say as how I’d
rather not, sir,” he replied. “I don’t
go so far as to say that.”
“Right! Do as I tell you and you will earn
a hundred pounds.”
The footman’s eyes began to glow, almost like
a cat’s in the twilight.
“Why, I could buy the library near twelve times
over,” he murmured.
“The library?” said Malkiel,
whose brain had suddenly become strangely clear.
“Ah, sir Dr. Carter’s,”
returned Gustavus, beginning to tremble.
“Dr. Carter’s!”
whispered Malkiel, excitedly. “I should
think so. Eight guineas and a half, and you pay
in instalments.”
“I’ll do it, sir,”
hissed Gustavus, utterly carried away by the prospect.
“What d’you want me to do?”
“First to let me change my clothes
quickly, then to hide me somewhere so as I can get
a sleep till dawn. Call me directly it begins
to get light and I shall be off to the docks.”
“The docks, sir?”
“Ay. I start for for Java to-morrow.”
“Java, sir what, where the sparrows
and the jelly ”
“Ay, ay,” returned Malkiel, secretly rehearsing
his new nautical rôle.
“I’ll do it sir. And the hundred?”
“I’ll write you an order
on my banker’s. You can trust me. Now
let me change my clothes. Quick!”
“They’re in Mr. Vivian’s bedroom,
ain’t they?”
Malkiel nodded.
“You must go very soft, sir,
because of the old lady. She’s abed, but
she might be wakeful, specially to-night. She’s
been awful upset. My word, she has!”
“I’ll go as soft as a mouse,” whispered
Malkiel. “Show me the way.”
Gustavus advanced on tiptoe towards
the staircase, followed by Malkiel, who held Mr. Ferdinand’s
clothes together lest they should rustle, and proceeded
with the most infinite precaution. In this manner
they gained the second floor and neared the bedroom
door of Mrs. Merillia. Here Gustavus turned round,
pointed to the door, and put his finger to his pouting
lips, at the same time rounding his hazel eyes and
shaking his powdered head in a most warning manner.
Malkiel nodded, held Mr. Ferdinand’s clothes
tighter, and stole on, as he thought, without making
a sound. What was his horror, then, just as he
was passing Mrs. Merillia’s door, to hear a
voice cry,
“Hennessey! Hennessey!”
Gustavus and Malkiel stopped dead,
as if they had both been shot. They now perceived
that the door was partially open, and that a faint
light shone within the room.
“Hennessey!” cried the
voice of Mrs. Merillia again. “Come in here.
I must speak to you.”
Gustavus darted on into the darkness
of the Prophet’s room, but Malkiel the Second
was so alarmed that he stayed where he was, finding
himself totally incapable of movement.
“Hennessey!” repeated the voice.
Then there was a faint rustling, the
door was opened more widely, and Mrs. Merillia appeared
in the aperture, clad in a most charming night bonnet,
and robed in a dressing-gown of white watered silk.
“The ratcatcher!” she cried. “The
ratcatcher!”
Malkiel turned and darted down the
stairs, while Mrs. Merillia, in the extreme of terror,
shut her door, locked it as many times as she could,
and then hastened trembling to the bell which communicated
with the faithful Mrs. Fancy, rang it, and dropped
half fainting into a chair. Mrs. Fancy woke from
her second dream just as Malkiel, closely followed
by the now shattered Gustavus, reached the hall.
“Hide me! Hide me!” whispered Malkiel.
“In here!”
And he darted into the servants’
quarters, leaving Gustavus on the mat. Mrs. Merillia’s
other bell now pealed shrilly downstairs. Gustavus
paused and pulled himself together. He was by
nature a fairly intrepid youth, and moreover, he had
recently made a close study of Carlyle’s Heroes
and Hero-worship, which greatly impressed him.
He therefore resolved in this moment of peril to acquit
himself in similar circumstances, and he remounted
the stairs and reached Mrs. Merillia’s door
just as Mrs. Fancy, wrapped in a woollen shawl and
wearing a pair of knitted night-socks, descended to
the landing, candle in hand.
“Oh, Mr. Gustavus!” said
Mrs. Fancy. “Is it the robbers again?
Is it murder, Mr. Gustavus? Is it fire?”
“I don’t know, Mrs. Fancy, I’ll
ask the mistress.”
He tapped upon the door.
“You can’t come in!”
cried poor Mrs. Merillia, who was losing her head
perhaps for the first time in her life. “You
can’t come in, and if you do I shall give you
in charge to the police.”
And she rang both her bells again.
“Ma’am!” said Gustavus, knocking
once more. “Ma’am!”
“It’s no use your knocking,”
returned Mrs. Merillia. “The door is bolted.
Go away, go away!”
And again she rang her two bells.
“Madam!” piped Mrs. Fancy. “Madam!
It’s me!”
“I know,” said Mrs. Merillia.
“I know it’s you! I saw you!
Leave the house unless you wish to be at once put
in prison.”
Her bells pealed. Mrs. Fancy began to sob.
“Me to leave the house!” she wailed.
“Me to go to prison!”
“Bear up, Mrs. Fancy, she doesn’t
know who it is!” said Gustavus. “Ma’am!
Ma’am! Missis! Missis!”
“I am ringing,” said Mrs.
Merillia, in a muffled manner through the door.
“I am summoning assistance! You will be
captured if you don’t go away.”
And again she pealed her bells.
This time, as she did so, the tingling of a third
bell became audible in the silent house.
“Lord!” cried Gustavus,
“if there isn’t the hall door. It
must be master. He left his key to-night.
Here’s a nice go!”
The three bells raised their piercing
chorus. Mrs. Fancy sobbed, and Gustavus, after
a terrible moment of hesitation, bounded down the hall.
His instinct had not played him false. The person
who had rung the bell was indeed the Prophet, who
had basely slunk away from Zoological House, leaving
Madame surrounded by her new and adoring friends.
“Thank you, Gustavus,”
he said, entering. “Take my coat, please.
What’s that?”
For Mrs. Merillia’s bells struck
shrilly upon his astonished ears.
“I think it’s Mrs. Merillia, sir.
She keeps on ringing.”
“Mrs. Merillia. At this hour! Heavens!
Is she ill?”
“I don’t know, sir.
She keeps ringing; but when I answer it she says,
‘Go away!’ she says. ‘Go ’
she says, sir.”
“How very strange!”
And the Prophet bounded upstairs and
arrived at his grandmother’s door just in time
to hear her cry out, in reply to poor Mrs. Fancy’s
distracted knocking,
“If you try to break in you
will be put in prison at once. I hear assistance
coming. I hear the police. Go away, you wicked,
wicked man!”
“Grannie!” cried the Prophet
through the keyhole. “Grannie, let me in!
Grannie! Grannie! Don’t ring!
Grannie! Grannie!”
But Mrs. Merillia was now completely
out of herself, and her only response to her grandson’s
appeal was to place her trembling fingers upon the
two bells, and to reply, through their uproar,
“It is useless for you to say
that. I know who you are. I saw you.
I shall go on ringing as long as I can stand.
I shall die ringing, but I shall never let you in.
Go away! Go away!”
“What does she mean?”
cried the Prophet, turning to Gustavus.
“I don’t know indeed,
sir,” replied the footman, thinking of Mr. Carter’s
library. “I couldn’t say indeed, sir.”
“Oh, my poor missis!”
wailed Mrs. Fancy, trembling in her night-socks.
“Oh, my poor dear missis! I can’t
speak different nor mean other. Oh, missis, missis!”
“Hush, Fancy!” said the
Prophet, in the greatest distraction. “Grannie!
Grannie!”
And seizing the handle of the door
he shook it violently. Mrs. Merillia was now
very naturally under the impression that the ratcatcher
was determined to break in and murder her without
more ado. Extreme danger often seems to exercise
a strangely calming influence upon the human soul.
So it was now. Upon hearing her bedroom door quivering
under the assault of the Prophet, Mrs. Merillia was
abruptly invaded by a sort of desperate courage.
She left the bells, tottered to the grate in which
a good fire was blazing, seized the poker and thrust
it between the bars and into the heart of the flames,
at the same time crying out in a quavering but determined
voice,
“I am heating the poker!
If you come in you will repent it. I am heating
the poker!”
On hearing this remark, the Prophet
desisted from his assault upon the door, overcome
by the absolute conviction that his beloved grandmother
was suffering from a pronounced form of homicidal mania.
His affection prompted him to keep such a catastrophe
secret as long as possible, and he therefore turned
to Mrs. Fancy and Gustavus, and said hurriedly,
“This is a matter for me alone.
Mrs. Fancy, please go away at once. Gustavus,
you will accompany Mrs. Fancy.”
His manner was so firm, his face so
iron in its determination, that Mrs. Fancy and Gustavus
dared not proffer a word. They turned away and
disappeared softly down the stairs, to wait the denouement
of this tragedy in the hall below. Meantime the
poker was growing red hot in the coals, and Mrs. Merillia
announced to the supposed ratcatcher,
“I can hear you I
hear you breathing ” (the Prophet
endeavoured not to breathe). “I hear you
rustling, but you can’t touch me. The poker
is red hot.”
And she drew it smoking from the grate
and approached the door, holding it in her delicate
hand like a weapon.
“Grannie!” said the Prophet,
making his voice as much like it generally was as
he possibly could. “Dearest grannie!”
“I dare you to come in!”
replied Mrs. Merillia, in an almost formidable manner.
“I dare you to do it.”
“I am not coming in, grannie,” said the
Prophet.
“Then go away!” said Mrs.
Merillia. “Go away and let me
hear you going.”
A sudden idea struck the Prophet.
He did not say another word, but immediately walked
downstairs, tramping heavily and shaking the wood
balusters violently at every step he took. His
ruse succeeded. Hearing the intruder depart,
Mrs. Merillia’s curious courage deserted her,
she dropped the poker into the grate, and once more
set both bells going with all her might and main.
The Prophet let her ring for nearly five minutes,
then he bounded once more upstairs and tapped very
gently on the door.
“Grannie,” he cried, “are you ringing?
What is it?”
This time Mrs. Merillia recognised
his voice, tottered to the door, unlocked it, and
fell, trembling, into his anxious arms.
“Oh, Hennessey!” she gasped. “Oh Hennessey!”
“Grannie, what is it? What on earth is
the matter?”
“The ratcatcher! The ratcatcher!”
“The ratcatcher!” cried the Prophet.
“He has come back. He is
here. He has been trying to break into my room.”
“What ratcatcher?”
“The one that dined to-night the
one you called your old and and valued friend.”
“Mr. Sagittarius?” exclaimed the Prophet.
“He is here.”
“Here!”
“I have seen him. He has tried to murder
me.”
“I will look into this at once,” said
the Prophet.
He ran to the head of the stairs and called out,
“Gustavus!”
“Sir!”
“Come up here at once.”
Gustavus came, followed closely by
Mrs. Fancy, who was in a state of abject confusion
and alarm.
“Has Mr. Sagittarius returned
here the gentleman who dined to-night?”
asked the Prophet.
Gustavus hesitated, thought of Dr. Carter’s
library, and replied,
“No, sir.”
“Has anybody entered the house?”
“No, sir.”
“You have been up the whole evening?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And nobody has been?”
“Nobody, sir.”
“Grannie, you hear what Gustavus says.”
“But, Hennessey, he is here; I saw him.”
“Where?”
“By the door. I heard someone,
and I thought it was you. I came to the door
after calling you, and there he stood, all dirty and
wet, with a huge hat on his head” (the saturnine
little clergyman was largely blessed with brain),
“and a most awful murderous expression on his
face.”
The Prophet began to suspect that
his dear relative, upset by the tragic events of the
dinner table, had gone to sleep and had the nightmare.
“Grannie, it must have been a dream.”
“No, Hennessey, no.”
“It must indeed. I left
Mr. Sagittarius at Zoological House. I feel certain
of that.”
The Prophet spoke the honest truth.
He fully believed that Mr. Sagittarius was at that
very moment sharing in the triumph of his wife and
receiving the worship of those who live the silly life.
“But I saw him, Hennessey,”
said Mrs. Merillia, adding rather unnecessarily, “with
my own eyes.”
“Grannie, darling, you must
have been dreaming. At any rate, I’m here
now. Nothing can hurt you. Go to bed.
Fancy will stay with you, and I swear to you that
no harm will happen to you so long as I am breathing.”
With these noble words the Prophet
kissed his grandmother tenderly, assisted Mrs. Fancy
into the room, and walked downstairs quite determined
that, come what might, whether he broke a thousand
oaths or not, he would put an end forthwith to the
tyranny of the couple from the Mouse and abandon for
ever the shocking pursuit of prophecy.