So we settled
it all when the storm was done
As comf’y
as comf’y could be;
And I was to wait
in the barn, my dears,
Because I was
only three;
And Teddy would
run to the rainbow’s foot,
Because he was
five and a man;
And that’s
how it all began, my dears,
And that’s
how it all began.
Big
Barn Stories.
’What do you think she’d
do if she caught us? We oughtn’t to have
it, you know,’ said Maisie.
‘Beat me, and lock you up in
your bedroom,’ Dick answered, without hesitation.
‘Have you got the cartridges?’
’Yes; they’re in my pocket,
but they are joggling horribly. Do pin-fire cartridges
go off of their own accord?’
’Don’t know. Take
the revolver, if you are afraid, and let me carry
them.’
‘I’m not afraid.’
Maisie strode forward swiftly, a hand in her pocket
and her chin in the air. Dick followed with a
small pin-fire revolver.
The children had discovered that their
lives would be unendurable without pistol-practice.
After much forethought and self-denial, Dick had saved
seven shillings and sixpence, the price of a badly
constructed Belgian revolver. Maisie could only
contribute half a crown to the syndicate for the purchase
of a hundred cartridges. ’You can save better
than I can, Dick,’ she explained; ’I like
nice things to eat, and it doesn’t matter to
you. Besides, boys ought to do these things.’
Dick grumbled a little at the arrangement,
but went out and made the purchase, which the children
were then on their way to test. Revolvers did
not lie in the scheme of their daily life as decreed
for them by the guardian who was incorrectly supposed
to stand in the place of a mother to these two orphans.
Dick had been under her care for six years, during
which time she had made her profit of the allowances
supposed to be expended on his clothes, and, partly
through thoughtlessness, partly through a natural
desire to pain, she was a widow of some
years anxious to marry again, had made
his days burdensome on his young shoulders.
Where he had looked for love, she
gave him first aversion and then hate.
Where he growing older had sought
a little sympathy, she gave him ridicule. The
many hours that she could spare from the ordering of
her small house she devoted to what she called the
home-training of Dick Heldar. Her religion, manufactured
in the main by her own intelligence and a keen study
of the Scriptures, was an aid to her in this matter.
At such times as she herself was not personally displeased
with Dick, she left him to understand that he had
a heavy account to settle with his Creator; wherefore
Dick learned to loathe his God as intensely as he
loathed Mrs. Jennett; and this is not a wholesome frame
of mind for the young. Since she chose to regard
him as a hopeless liar, but an economical and self-contained
one, never throwing away the least unnecessary fib,
and never hesitating at the blackest, were it only
plausible, that might make his life a little easier.
The treatment taught him at least the power of living
alone, a power that was of service to him
when he went to a public school and the boys laughed
at his clothes, which were poor in quality and much
mended. In the holidays he returned to the teachings
of Mrs. Jennett, and, that the chain of discipline
might not be weakened by association with the world,
was generally beaten, on one account or another, before
he had been twelve hours under her roof.
The autumn of one year brought him
a companion in bondage, a long-haired, gray-eyed little
atom, as self-contained as himself, who moved about
the house silently and for the first few weeks spoke
only to the goat that was her chiefest friend on earth
and lived in the back-garden. Mrs. Jennett objected
to the goat on the grounds that he was un-Christian, which
he certainly was. ‘Then,’ said the
atom, choosing her words very deliberately, ’I
shall write to my lawyer-peoples and tell them that
you are a very bad woman. Amomma is mine, mine,
mine!’ Mrs. Jennett made a movement to the hall,
where certain umbrellas and canes stood in a rack.
The atom understood as clearly as Dick what this meant.
‘I have been beaten before,’ she said,
still in the same passionless voice; ’I have
been beaten worse than you can ever beat me.
If you beat me I shall write to my lawyer-peoples
and tell them that you do not give me enough to eat.
I am not afraid of you.’ Mrs. Jennett did
not go into the hall, and the atom, after a pause
to assure herself that all danger of war was past,
went out, to weep bitterly on Amomma’s neck.
Dick learned to know her as Maisie,
and at first mistrusted her profoundly, for he feared
that she might interfere with the small liberty of
action left to him. She did not, however; and
she volunteered no friendliness until Dick had taken
the first steps. Long before the holidays were
over, the stress of punishment shared in common drove
the children together, if it were only to play into
each other’s hands as they prepared lies for
Mrs. Jennett’s use. When Dick returned to
school, Maisie whispered, ’Now I shall be all
alone to take care of myself; but,’ and she
nodded her head bravely, ’I can do it. You
promised to send Amomma a grass collar. Send
it soon.’ A week later she asked for that
collar by return of post, and wa not pleased when she
learned that it took time to make. When at last
Dick forwarded the gift, she forgot to thank him for
it.
Many holidays had come and gone since
that day, and Dick had grown into a lanky hobbledehoy
more than ever conscious of his bad clothes. Not
for a moment had Mrs. Jennett relaxed her tender care
of him, but the average canings of a public school Dick
fell under punishment about three times a month filled
him with contempt for her powers. ’She
doesn’t hurt,’ he explained to Maisie,
who urged him to rebellion, ’and she is kinder
to you after she has whacked me.’ Dick shambled
through the days unkempt in body and savage in soul,
as the smaller boys of the school learned to know,
for when the spirit moved him he would hit them, cunningly
and with science. The same spirit made him more
than once try to tease Maisie, but the girl refused
to be made unhappy. ’We are both miserable
as it is,’ said she. ’What is the
use of trying to make things worse? Let’s
find things to do, and forget things.’
The pistol was the outcome of that
search. It could only be used on the muddiest
foreshore of the beach, far away from the bathing-machines
and pierheads, below the grassy slopes of Fort Keeling.
The tide ran out nearly two miles on that coast, and
the many-coloured mud-banks, touched by the sun, sent
up a lamentable smell of dead weed. It was late
in the afternoon when Dick and Maisie arrived on their
ground, Amomma trotting patiently behind them.
‘Mf!’ said Maisie, sniffing
the air. ’I wonder what makes the sea so
smelly? I don’t like it!’
‘You never like anything that
isn’t made just for you,’ said Dick bluntly.
’Give me the cartridges, and I’ll try first
shot. How far does one of these little revolvers
carry?’
‘Oh, half a mile,’ said
Maisie, promptly. ’At least it makes an
awful noise. Be careful with the cartridges;
I don’t like those jagged stick-up things on
the rim. Dick, do be careful.’
‘All right. I know how
to load. I’ll fire at the breakwater out
there.’
He fired, and Amomma ran away bleating.
The bullet threw up a spurt of mud to the right of
the wood-wreathed piles.
’Throws high and to the right.
You try, Maisie. Mind, it’s loaded all
round.’
Maisie took the pistol and stepped
delicately to the verge of the mud, her hand firmly
closed on the butt, her mouth and left eye screwed
up.
Dick sat down on a tuft of bank and
laughed. Amomma returned very cautiously.
He was accustomed to strange experiences in his afternoon
walks, and, finding the cartridge-box unguarded, made
investigations with his nose. Maisie fired, but
could not see where the bullet went.
‘I think it hit the post,’
she said, shading her eyes and looking out across
the sailless sea.
‘I know it has gone out to the
Marazion Bell-buoy,’ said Dick, with a chuckle.
’Fire low and to the left; then perhaps you’ll
get it. Oh, look at Amomma! he’s
eating the cartridges!’
Maisie turned, the revolver in her
hand, just in time to see Amomma scampering away from
the pebbles Dick threw after him. Nothing is sacred
to a billy-goat. Being well fed and the adored
of his mistress, Amomma had naturally swallowed two
loaded pin-fire cartridges. Maisie hurried up
to assure herself that Dick had not miscounted the
tale.
‘Yes, he’s eaten two.’
’Horrid little beast! Then
they’ll joggle about inside him and blow up,
and serve him right.... Oh, Dick! have I killed
you?’
Revolvers are tricky things for young
hands to deal with. Maisie could not explain
how it had happened, but a veil of reeking smoke separated
her from Dick, and she was quite certain that the pistol
had gone off in his face. Then she heard him
sputter, and dropped on her knees beside him, crying,
‘Dick, you aren’t hurt, are you? I
didn’t mean it.’
’Of course you didn’t,
said Dick, coming out of the smoke and wiping his
cheek. ‘But you nearly blinded me.
That powder stuff stings awfully.’ A neat
little splash of gray led on a stone showed where the
bullet had gone. Maisie began to whimper.
‘Don’t,’ said Dick,
jumping to his feet and shaking himself. ’I’m
not a bit hurt.’
‘No, but I might have killed
you,’ protested Maisie, the corners of her mouth
drooping. ‘What should I have done then?’
‘Gone home and told Mrs. Jennett.’
Dick grinned at the thought; then, softening, ’Please
don’t worry about it. Besides, we are wasting
time.
We’ve got to get back to tea.
I’ll take the revolver for a bit.’
Maisie would have wept on the least
encouragement, but Dick’s indifference, albeit
his hand was shaking as he picked up the pistol, restrained
her. She lay panting on the beach while Dick methodically
bombarded the breakwater. ‘Got it at last!’
he exclaimed, as a lock of weed flew from the wood.
‘Let me try,’ said Maisie,
imperiously. ‘I’m all right now.’
They fired in turns till the rickety
little revolver nearly shook itself to pieces, and
Amomma the outcast because he might blow
up at any moment browsed in the background
and wondered why stones were thrown at him. Then
they found a balk of timber floating in a pool which
was commanded by the seaward slope of Fort Keeling,
and they sat down together before this new target.
‘Next holidays,’ said
Dick, as the now thoroughly fouled revolver kicked
wildly in his hand, ’we’ll get another
pistol, central fire, that will
carry farther.’
‘There won’t b any next
holidays for me,’ said Maisie. ‘I’m
going away.’
‘Where to?’
’I don’t know. My
lawyers have written to Mrs. Jennett, and I’ve
got to be educated somewhere, in France,
perhaps, I don’t know where; but I
shall be glad to go away.’
’I shan’t like it a bit.
I suppose I shall be left. Look here, Maisie,
is it really true you’re going? Then these
holidays will be the last I shall see anything of
you; and I go back to school next week. I wish ’
The young blood turned his cheeks
scarlet. Maisie was picking grass-tufts and throwing
them down the slope at a yellow sea-poppy nodding
all by itself to the illimitable levels of the mud-flats
and the milk-white sea beyond.
‘I wish,’ she said, after
a pause, ’that I could see you again sometime.
You wish that, too?’
’Yes, but it would have been
better if if you had shot
straight over there down by the breakwater.’
Maisie looked with large eyes for
a moment. And this was the boy who only ten days
before had decorated Amomma’s horns with cut-paper
ham-frills and turned him out, a bearded derision,
among the public ways! Then she dropped her eyes:
this was not the boy.
‘Don’t be stupid,’
she said reprovingly, and with swift instinct attacked
the side-issue. ’How selfish you are!
Just think what I should have felt if that horrid
thing had killed you! I’m quite miserable
enough already.’
‘Why? Because you’re going away from
Mrs. Jennett?’
‘No.’
‘From me, then?’
No answer for a long time. Dick
dared not look at her. He felt, though he did
not know, all that the past four years had been to
him, and this the more acutely since he had no knowledge
to put his feelings in words.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I
suppose it is.’
‘Maisie, you must know. I’m not supposing.’
‘Let’s go home,’ said Maisie, weakly.
But Dick was not minded to retreat.
‘I can’t say things,’
he pleaded, ’and I’m awfully sorry for
teasing you about Amomma the other day. It’s
all different now, Maisie, can’t you see?
And you might have told me that you were going, instead
of leaving me to find out.’
‘You didn’t. I did tell. Oh,
Dick, what’s the use of worrying?’
’There isn’t any; but
we’ve been together years and years, and I didn’t
know how much I cared.’
‘I don’t believe you ever did care.’
‘No, I didn’t; but I do, I
care awfully now, Maisie,’ he gulped, ’Maisie,
darling, say you care too, please.’
‘I do, indeed I do; but it won’t be any
use.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I am going away.’
‘Yes, but if you promise before
you go. Only say will you?’ A
second ‘darling’ came to his lips more
easily than the first. There were few endearments
in Dick’s home or school life; he had to find
them by instinct. Dick caught the little hand
blackened with the escaped gas of the revolver.
‘I promise,’ she said
solemnly; ’but if I care there is no need for
promising.’
‘And do you care?’ For
the first time in the past few minutes their eyes
met and spoke for them who had no skill in speech....
’Oh, Dick, don’t!
Please don’t! It was all right when we said
good-morning; but now it’s all different!’
Amomma looked on from afar.
He had seen his property quarrel frequently,
but he had never seen kisses exchanged before.
The yellow sea-poppy was wiser, and nodded its head
approvingly. Considered as a kiss, that was a
failure, but since it was the first, other than those
demanded by duty, in all the world that either had
ever given or taken, it opened to them new worlds,
and every one of them glorious, so that they were
lifted above the consideration of any worlds at all,
especially those in which tea is necessary, and sat
still, holding each other’s hands and saying
not a word.
‘You can’t forget now,’
said Dick, at last. There was that on his cheek
that stung more than gunpowder.
‘I shouldn’t have forgotten
anyhow,’ said Maisie, and they looked at each
other and saw that each was changed from the companion
of an hour ago to a wonder and a mystery they could
not understand. The sun began to set, and a night-wind
thrashed along the bents of the foreshore.
‘We shall be awfully late for
tea,’ said Maisie. ‘Let’s go
home.’
‘Let’s use the rest of
the cartridges first,’ said Dick; and he helped
Maisie down the slope of the fort to the sea, a
descent that she was quite capable of covering at
full speed. Equally gravely Maisie took the grimy
hand. Dick bent forward clumsily; Maisie drew
the hand away, and Dick blushed.
‘It’s very pretty,’ he said.
‘Pooh!’ said Maisie, with
a little laugh of gratified vanity. She stood
close to Dick as he loaded the revolver for the last
time and fired over the sea with a vague notion at
the back of his head that he was protecting Maisie
from all the evils in the world. A puddle far
across the mud caught the last rays of the sun and
turned into a wrathful red disc. The light held
Dick’s attention for a moment, and as he raised
his revolver there fell upon him a renewed sense of
the miraculous, in that he was standing by Maisie
who had promised to care for him for an indefinite
length of time till such date as
A gust of the growing wind drove the girl’s
long black hair across his face as she stood with
her hand on his shoulder calling Amomma ‘a little
beast,’ and for a moment he was in the dark, a
darkness that stung. The bullet went singing
out to the empty sea.
‘Spoilt my aim,’ said
he, shaking his head. ’There aren’t
any more cartridges; we shall have to run home.’
But they did not run. They walked very slowly,
arm in arm. And it was a matter of indifference
to them whether the neglected Amomma with two pin-fire
cartridges in his inside blew up or trotted beside
them; for they had come into a golden heritage and
were disposing of it with all the wisdom of all their
years.
‘And I shall be ’
quoth Dick, valiantly. Then he checked himself:
’I don’t know what I shall be. I
don’t seem to be able to pass any exams, but
I can make awful caricatures of the masters. Ho!
Ho!’
‘Be an artist, then,’
said Maisie. ’You’re always laughing
at my trying to draw; and it will do you good.’
‘I’ll never laugh at anything
you do,’ he answered. ’I’ll
be an artist, and I’ll do things.’
‘Artists always want money, don’t they?’
’I’ve got a hundred and
twenty pounds a year of my own. My guardians
tell me I’m to have it when I come of age.
That will be enough to begin with.’
‘Ah, I’m rich,’
said Maisie. ’I’ve got three hundred
a year all my own when I’m twenty-one.
That’s why Mrs. Jennett is kinder to me than
she is to you. I wish, though, that I had somebody
that belonged to me, just a father or a
mother.’
‘You belong to me,’ said Dick, ‘for
ever and ever.’
‘Yes, we belong for
ever. It’s very nice.’ She squeezed
his arm. The kindly darkness hid them both, and,
emboldened because he could only just see the profile
of Maisie’s cheek with the long lashes veiling
the gray eyes, Dick at the front door delivered himself
of the words he had been boggling over for the last
two hours.
‘And I love you,
Maisie,’ he said, in a whisper that seemed to
him to ring across the world, the world
that he would to-morrow or the next day set out to
conquer.
There was a scene, not, for the sake
of discipline, to be reported, when Mrs. Jennett would
have fallen upon him, first for disgraceful unpunctuality,
and secondly for nearly killing himself with a forbidden
weapon.
‘I was playing with it, and
it went off by itself,’ said Dick, when the
powder-pocked cheek could no longer be hidden, ’but
if you think you’re going to lick me you’re
wrong. You are never going to touch me again.
Sit down and give me my tea.
You can’t cheat us out of that, anyhow.’
Mrs. Jennett gasped and became livid.
Maisie said nothing, but encouraged Dick with her
eyes, and he behaved abominably all that evening.
Mrs. Jennett prophesied an immediate judgment of Providence
and a descent into Tophet later, but Dick walked in
Paradise and would not hear. Only when he was
going to bed Mrs. Jennett recovered and asserted herself.
He had bidden Maisie good-night with down-dropped eyes
and from a distance.
‘If you aren’t a gentleman
you might try to behave like one,’ said Mrs.
Jennett, spitefully. ‘You’ve
been quarrelling with Maisie again.’
This meant that the usual good-night
kiss had been omitted. Maisie, white to the lips,
thrust her cheek forward with a fine air of indifference,
and was duly pecked by Dick, who tramped out of the
room red as fire. That night he dreamed a wild
dream. He had won all the world and brought it
to Maisie in a cartridge-box, but she turned it over
with her foot, and, instead of saying ‘Thank
you,’ cried ’Where is the grass
collar you promised for Amomma? Oh, how selfish
you are!’