Read BARRACK-ROOM BALLADS: BILL 'AWKINS of The Seven Seas , free online book, by Rudyard Kipling, on ReadCentral.com.

“’As anybody seen Bill ’Awkins?”
“Now ’ow in the devil would I know?”
“‘E’s taken my girl out walkin’,
An’ I’ve got to tell ’im so
Gawd bless ’im!
I’ve got to tell ’im so.”

“D’yer know what ’e’s like, Bill ’Awkins?”
“Now what in the devil would I care?”
“‘E’s the livin’, breathin’ image of an organ-grinder’s monkey,
With a pound of grease in ’is ’air
Gawd bless ’im!
An’ a pound o’ grease in ’is ’air.”

“An’ s’pose you met Bill ’Awkins,
Now what in the devil ’ud ye do?”
“I’d open ’is cheek to ’is chin-strap buckle,
An’ bung up ’is both eyes, too
Gawd bless ’im!
An’ bung up ’is both eyes, too!”

“Look ’ere, where ’e comes, Bill ’Awkins!
Now what in the devil will you say?”
“It isn’t fit an’ proper to be fightin’ on a Sunday,
So I’ll pass ‘im the time o’ day
Gawd bless ’im!
I’ll pass ‘im the time o’ day!”

GO TO: BARRACK-ROOM BALLADS: THE LADIES
GO TO: BARRACK-ROOM BALLADS: THE MOTHER-LODGE