CHAPTER II: A Backward Glance from a Hillock of Abstinence
Looking back at the old game from
this hillock of abstinence it is not an
eminence like those occupied by the twelve and fifteen
year boys looking back at the old game
from this slight elevation, it is perhaps excusable
for a man who put in twenty years at the old game to
set the old game off against the new game and make
up a debit and credit account just for the fun of
it.
Just for the fun of it! My kind
of drinking was always for the fun of it for
the fun that came with it and out of it and was in
it and for no other reason. I was
no sot and no souse. All the drinks I took were
for convivial purposes solely, except on occasional
mornings when a too convivial evening demanded a next
morning conniver in the way of a cocktail or a frappe,
or a brandy-and-soda, for purposes of encouragement
and to help get the sand out of the wheels.
Wherefore, what have I personally
gained by quitting and what have I personally lost?
How does the account stand? Is it worth while
or not? Is there anything in convivial drinking
that is too precious and too pleasant to be sacrificed
for whatever pleasures or rewards there are in abstinence?
What are the big equations? These are questions
that naturally occur in a consideration of the subject;
and these are the questions I shall try to answer,
answering them entirely from my own experience and
judging them from my own viewpoint, leaving the application
of my conclusions to those who care to apply them to
their own individual cases.
It takes two years for a man who has
been a convivial drinker to get any sort of proper
perspective on both sides of the proposition.
Three years is better, and five years, I should say,
about right. Still, after three years and a half
I think I can draw some conclusions that may have
a certain general application though, as
I have said, I make no pretense of applying them generally.
So far as I am able to judge, a man who has been a
more or less sincere drinker for twenty years does
not arrive at a point before two years of abstinence
where he can take an impartial and non-alcoholic survey.
At first he is imbued with the spirit
of the new convert, fired with zeal and considerable
of a Pharisee. Also, he is inhabited by the lingering
thoughts of what he has renounced the fun
and the frolic of it; and he has set himself aside,
in a good measure, from the friends he has made in
the twenty years of joyousness.