A WORLD APART
By
Sam Merwin, Jr.
It wasn’t much of a bump.
The shock absorbers of the liquid-smooth convertible
neutralized all but a tiny percent of the jarring impact
before it could reach the imported English flannel
seat of Coulter’s expensively-tailored pants.
But it was sufficient to jolt him out of his reverie,
trebly induced by a four-course luncheon with cocktails
and liqueur, the nostalgia of returning to a hometown
unvisited in twenty years and the fact that he was
driving westward into an afternoon sun.
Coulter grunted mild resentment at
being thus disturbed. Then, as he quickly, incredulously
scanned the road ahead and the car whose wheel was
gripped by his gloved hands, he narrowed his eyes and
muttered to himself, “Wake up! For God’s
sake snap out of it!”
The road itself had changed.
From a twin-laned ten-car highway, carefully graded
and landscaped and clover-leafed, it had become a
single-laned three-car thoroughfare, paved with tar
instead of concrete and high-crowned along its center.
He swung the wheel quickly to avoid running onto a
dirt shoulder hardened with ice.
Its curves were no longer graded for
high-speed cars but were scarcely tilted at all, when
they didn’t slant the wrong way. Its crossings
were blind, level and unprotected by traffic lights.
Neat unattractive clusters of mass-built houses interspersed
with occasional clumps of woodland had been replaced
with long stretches of pine woods, only occasionally
relieved by houses and barns of obviously antique
manufacture. Some of these looked disturbingly
familiar.
And the roadside signs all
at once they were everywhere. Here a weathered
but still-legible little Burma-Shave series, a wooden
Horlick’s contented cow, Socony, That Good Gulf
Gasoline, the black cat-face bespeaking Catspaw Rubber
Heels. Here were the coal-black Gold Dust twins,
Kelly Springfield’s Lotta Miles peering through
a large rubber tire, a cocked-hatted boniface advertising
New York’s Prince George Hotel, the sleepy Fisk
Tire boy in his pajamas and carrying a candle.
And then a huge opened book with a
quill pen stuck in an inkwell alongside. On the
right-hand page it said, United States Tires Are
Good Tires and on the left, You are 3-1/2 miles
from Lincolnville. In 1778 General O’Hara,
leading a British raiding party inland, was ambushed
on this spot by Colonel Amos Coulter and his militia
and forced to retreat with heavy loss.
Slowing down because the high-crowned
road was slippery with sun-melted ice, Coulter noted
that the steering wheel responded heavily. Then
he saw suddenly that it was smaller than he’d
remembered and made of black rubber instead of the
almond-hued plastic of his new convertible. And
his light costly fabric gloves had become black leather,
lined with fur!
A gong rang in his memory. He
had driven this road many times in years gone by,
he had known all these signs as quasi-landmarks, he
had worn such gloves one winter. There had been
a little triangular tear in the heel of the left one,
where he had snagged it on a nail sticking out of
the garage wall. But that had been many years
ago....
He looked and found the tear and felt
cold sweat bathe his body under his clothes.
And he was suddenly, mightily, afraid....
He hit another bump and this time
the springs did not take up the shock. He felt
briefly like a rodeo cowboy riding a bucking mustang.
The car in which he rode had changed. It was
no longer the sleek convertible of the mid-1950’s.
It was his old Pontiac sedan, the car he had driven
for two years before leaving Lincolnville behind him
twenty years ago!
Nor was he wearing the dark-blue vicuna
topcoat he had reclaimed an hour before from the checkroom
girl in the restaurant back in the city. His
sleeves now were of well-worn camel’s hair.
He didn’t dare pull the rear-view mirror around
so he could see his face. He said again, fiercely,
“Snap out of it! For God’s sake wake
up before you hit something!”
He didn’t hit anything.
Road, signs, car, clothing, all stayed the same.
Fields abridged by wooded low hills fell away on either
side of the road. The snow had been heavier away
from the city and covered tillage, trees and stone
walls alike with a tracked and sullen late-winter
dark-white blanket.
He came to a hill and the obsolete
engine knocked and panted. Once over the top
of the hill, he thought with a sudden encouraging flash,
he could prove that whatever was happening to him
was illusion. At its foot on the other side had
lain the Brigham Farm, a two-century-old house and
barn converted into a restaurant by a pair of energetic
spinsters. A restaurant where Coulter and his
parents had habitually dined out on Thursday, the
servants’ night off.
He had heard a long while ago that
the Brigham Farm had been struck by lightning and
burned during August of 1939. If it were still
there ...
He breasted the hill and there it
was, ancient timbers painted a neat dark red with
white door and window-frames and shutters. He
held his eyes carefully away from it after the one
look, held them on the road, which was now paved with
a hard-packed layer of snow.
He passed an ear-flapped and baa-baa-coated
farmer who sat atop a pung drawn by a patient percherón
whose nostrils emitted twin plumes of steam.
A pung! How many times had he and the other boys
of Lincolnville ridden the runners of such utility
sleighs on hitch-hiked rides through the by-ways of
the lovely surrounding countryside!
Coulter maneuvered in his seat to
take a quick look at this relic from the past and
caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror above the
windshield. He said just one word “Jesus!”
Nor was he blasphemous in saying it.
He thought of Jurgen, of Faust for
in some miraculous way he had reclaimed his youth
or been reclaimed by it. The face that looked
back at him was fresh-skinned, unlined, unweathered
by life. He saw with surprise, from the detachment
of almost two decades, that he had been better looking
than he remembered.
He looked down, saw that his body,
beneath the camel’s hair coat, was thin.
The fat and fatigue of too many years of rich eating
and drinking, of sedentary work, of immense nervous
pressures, had been swept away without diet, without
tiresome exercise. He was young again and
he almost ran the Pontiac into a ditch at the side
of the road....
If it was a dream, he decided, it
was a dream he was going to enjoy. He recalled
what Shaw had said about youth being such a wonderful
thing it was a pity to waste it on children.
And he knew that he, at any rate, was no child, whatever
the body that had so miraculously been restored to
him.
The unhappy Pontiac cleared another
hilltop and Lincolnville lay stretched out before
Coulter, naked and exposed, stripped of its summer
foliage. He had forgotten how dominated it was
by the five church steeples Unitarian,
Episcopal, Trinitarian, Roman Catholic and Swedish
Reform. There was no spire atop the concrete-and-stucco
pillared building in which the Christian Scientists
held their Sunday readings.
Half-consciously he dug for a cigar
in his breast pocket, looked with mild surprise on
the straight-stemmed pipe he found there. He had
forgotten that he once smoked a pipe as completely
as he had forgotten the churchly domination of his
home town.
Even though Lincolnville remained
fixed in his memory as it had looked twenty years
ago as it looked now awaiting his belated
return he was aware of many anachronisms
while tooling the Pontiac slowly along Clinton Street.
He had become used to the many outer changes of the
past two decades, was unable completely to suppress
surprise at not finding them present on his return.
For one thing there was the vast amount
of overhead wiring. Coulter had forgotten how
its lacework of insulation and poles took up space
even in a comparatively small community. He had
long since forgotten the English sparrows, erstwhile
avian pest of America, that were to vanish so swiftly
with the final abolition of the horse.
There were more horses than he recalled,
parked here and there among the shoppers’ automobiles.
And the cars themselves looked like refugees from
a well-aged television movie, all straight-up-and-down
windshields and unbuilt-in fenders and wooden spoked
or wire wheels. He suspected the Pontiac he was
driving would look as odd to him once he got out and
examined it.
A dark-overcoated policeman, lounging
against the front of the Rexall store at the main
intersection, lifted a mittened hand in casual salute.
Coulter replied in kind, drove on through the Center,
took the fork past the old library with the skeleton
of its summer coat of ivy looking bare and chilly
against the sunset breeze. The bit of sky he could
see through the houses and leafless trees was grey
and yellow and cold.
The house was there, just as he had
left it. It was still a good-sized mansion in
comfortable ugly space-wasting Reign-of-Terror Tuscan,
standing ornate and towered and turreted behind a fence
of granite posts connected by long iron pipes that
sagged in the middle as the result of children walking
them on their way to and from the public schools around
the corner on Sheldon Street.
Coulter turned left and felt the crunch
of ashes under his tires as he drove across the sidewalk,
through the fence opening, into the driveway to the
open-doored garage awaiting him. He reminded himself
to be careful of the jutting nail that had torn his
glove.
The concrete floor of the garage felt
cold against the soles of his shoes. Coulter
stamped his feet as he turned on the heater and moved
toward the door. It stuck he had forgotten
about that and he swore lustily as he exerted
strength he had forgotten ever possessing to yank
it clear of the snag and across the front of the building.
He didn’t want the Pontiac to
freeze. Not when he had a date with Eve Lawton....
A date with Eve Lawton.... He hadn’t thought
of Eve in years, except on those occasional sleepless
nights when he amused himself with seeking to visualize
the women he had known in a Biblical sense of the
word.
Most of them were faceless units in
a faceless and somewhat undignified parade. But
not Eve. She wasn’t pretty not
in the sense of the doll-faced creatures that adorned
the movie magazines or even the healthy maidens with
whom he occasionally rollicked since coming home from
college.
Eve had a sensitivity of feature that
was a sounding board for her emotions. Coulter
paused against the garage door and thought about her.
With the knowledge of twenty years he knew now that
what Eve had, or had had twenty years ago, was the
basis of beauty, the inner intangible which stamps
a woman a woman above other women....
What in hell has happened to me,
is happening to me? Coulter felt the chill of
the evening wind stab deep into his bones. Then
he looked down at his vanished embonpoint and
patted with his gloves the flat hardness that had
replaced it. It was all right with him as long
as he didn’t wake up too soon before
his date with Eve anyway.
Coulter walked around the house and
in through the front with its extra winter doorway.
There was the big square sapphire-blue carpet with
the worn spot at the foot of the stairs. There
was the antique cherry card table which, to his definite
knowledge, should be standing in the front hall of
his own house in Scarborough, more than two hundred
miles and twenty years away.
His mother appeared in the door of
the library, edged with light from the cannel-coal
fire in the grate behind her. She said, “Oh,
there you are, Banny. I’m glad you’re
back in time for ... Heaven’s sake, Banny!
What’s all this for?”
Coulter felt himself grow hot with
embarrassment. He and his mother had never been
much given to outward show of affection. Yet,
knowing she would be dead within the year, he had
been unable to resist the urge to embrace her.
He was going to have to watch his step. He said,
fumbling a little, “I don’t know, mother.
I guess I just felt like it, that’s all.”
“Well all right.”
She was mollified, patted the blue-white hair above
delicately handsome features to make certain no strand
had been disarranged. Then, “Did you remember
to stop at MacAuliffe’s and pick up my lighter?”
Feeling lost, Coulter felt in the
pockets of his polo coat. To his relief he found
a small package in one of them, pulled it out.
It was wrapped with the city jeweler’s tartan
paper and he handed it to his mother. She said,
“Thanks I’ve missed it this
last week.”
He had forgotten his mother was a
smoker. Coulter took off his coat and hat and
hung them up, trying to remember details of a life
he had long since allowed to blur into soft focus.
She had taken up the habit about a year after his
father died of a ruptured appendix while on a hunting
trip down in the Maine woods.
He noticed the skis and ski-boots
and ski-poles standing at attention in the back of
the closet, wondered if he could still execute a decent
Christie. Then, emerging, he said, “Just
us for dinner tonight, mother?”
“Just us,” she said, regarding
him with a faint frown from over a fresh-lit cigarette.
“Good!” he said. “How about
a drink?”
“Banny,” said his mother
with patient sternness, “you know as well as
I that you’re the family liquor-provider since
your father died. I’m not going to deal
with bootleggers. And there’s nothing but
a little vermouth in the pantry.”
“Snooping again,” he said,
carefully unsmiling. Good God, it was still Prohibition!
Memory stabbed at him, bringing what had so recently
emerged from past into present clearly into focus,
technicolored focus. “I’ve got a
little surprise upstairs in my closet.”
He found himself taking the stairs
two at a time without effort. Shaw had definitely
been right, he decided when he discovered the exertion
had not winded him in the slightest. He went into
the big room overlooking the front lawn, now covered
with much-trodden snow, that he had fallen heir to
after his father died.
Karen, the Swedish-born second maid,
was opening the bed. He had completely forgotten
Karen, had to battle against staring at her. She
was a perfect incipient human brood-mare lush
not-yet-fat figure, broad pelvis, meaningless pretty-enough
face. Now what the devil had been his relations
with her?
Since he couldn’t remember,
he decided they must have been innocuous. He
said, “Hi, Karen, broken up any new homes lately?”
She said, “Oh you,
Mr. Coulter!” She giggled and fled, stumbling
over the threshold in her hurry.
Coulter looked after her, his eyebrows
high. Well, he thought, here was something he
had evidently missed entirely. Karen’s crush
was painfully apparent, viewed from a vantage of two
decades of added experience. Or perhaps he had
been smarter than he remembered.
The gallon of home-made gin was stuck
behind the textbook-filled carton on the back floor
of his closet, where somehow he had known it must be.
It was between a third and half full of colorless liquid.
He uncorked it, sniffed and shuddered. Prohibition
was going to take a bit of getting used to after two
decades of Repeal.
Half an hour later he sipped his rather
dire martini and listened to his mother talk.
Not to the words especially, for she was one of those
nearly-extinct well-bred women, brought up in the horsehair
amenities of the late Victorian era, who could talk
charmingly and vivaciously and at considerable length
without saying anything. It was pleasant merely
to sit and sip and let the words flow over him.
She looked remarkably well, he thought,
for a woman who was to die within a year of galloping
cancer. She seemed to have recovered entirely
from the emotional aftermath of his father’s
death. So much so that he found himself wondering
how deeply she had loved the man with whom she had
spent some thirty-eight years of her life.
She was slim and quick and sure in
her movements and her figure, of which she was inordinately
proud, resembled that of a girl rather than the body
of a woman nibbling late middle-age. Slowly he
realized she had stopped talking, had asked him a
question and was awaiting his answer. He smiled
apologetically and said, “Sorry, mother, I must
have been wool-gathering.”
“You’re tired, lamb.”
No one had called him that in twenty years. “And
no wonder, with all that running around for
Mr. Simms on the newspaper.”
Mr. Simms that would be
Patrick “Paddy” Simms, his managing editor,
the old-school city-room tyrant who had taught him
his job so well that he had gone on to make a successful
career of public relations and the organization of
facts into words at rates far more imposing
than those paid a junior reporter during the Great
Depression.
In his swell of memories Coulter almost
lost his mother’s question a second time, barely
managed to catch its meaning. He sipped his drink
and said, “I agree, mother, the burning of the
books in Germany is a threat to freedom.
But I don’t think you’ll have to worry
about Adolph Hitler very long.”
She misread his meaning, of course,
frowned charmingly and said, “I do hope
you’re right, Banny. Nellie Maynard had
a few of us for tea this afternoon and Margot Henson,
she’s tremendously chic and her husband knows
all those big men in the New Deal in Washington not
that he agrees with them, thank goodness well,
she says the big men in the State Department
are really worried about Hitler. They think
he may try to make Germany strong enough to start
another war.”
“It could happen, of course,”
Coulter told her. He had forgotten his mother’s
trick of stressing one syllable of a word. Funny,
Connie, his wife if she was still his wife
after whatever had happened had the same
trick. With an upper-class Manhattan dry soda-cracker
drawl added.
He wondered if he were going to have
to live through it all again the NRA, the
Roosevelt boomlet, the Recession, the string of Hitler
triumphs in Europe, the war, Pearl Harbor and all
that followed Truman, the Cold War, Korea,
McCarthy ...
Seated across from her at the gleaming
Sheraton dining table, which should by rights be in
his own dining room in Scarborough overlooking the
majestic Hudson, he wondered how he could put his foreknowledge
to use. There was the market, of course.
And he could recall the upset football win of Yale
over Princeton in 1934, the Notre Dame last-minute
triumph over Ohio State a year later, most of the World
Series winners. On the Derby winners he was lost....
When the meal was over and they were
returning to the library with its snug insulating
bookshelves and warm cannel-coal fire, his mother said,
“Banny, it’s been so nice having
this talk with you. We haven’t had many
lately. I wish you’d stay home tonight
with me. You really do look tired, you
know.”
“Sorry, mother,” he replied. “I’ve
got a date.”
“With the Lawton girl,
I suppose,” she said without affection.
Then, accepting a cigarette and holding it before
lighting it, “I do wish you wouldn’t
see quite so much of her. I’ll admit
she’s a perfectly nice girl, of course.
But she is strange and people are beginning
to talk. I hope you’re not going to be
foolish about her.”
“Don’t worry,” Coulter
replied. Since when, he wondered, had wanting
a girl as he wanted Eve Lawton been foolish.
He added, “What’s wrong with Eve anyway?”
His mother lit a cigarette. “Lamb,
it’s not that there’s anything really
wrong with Eve. As a matter of fact I believe
her family is quite distinguished good
old Lincolnville stock.”
“I’m aware of that,”
he replied drily. “I believe her great,
great, great grandfather was a brigadier while mine
was only a colonel in the Revolution.”
His mother dismissed the distant past
with a gesture. “But the Lawtons haven’t
managed to keep up,” she stated.
“Think of your schooling, dear you’ve
had the very best. While Eve ...”
With a shrug.
“Went to grammar and high-school
right here in Lincolnville,” Coulter finished
for her. “Mother, Eve has more brains and
character than any of the debs I know.”
Then, collecting himself, “But don’t worry,
mother I’m not going to let it upset
my life.”
“I’m very glad
to hear it,” Mrs. Coulter said simply. “Remember,
Banny, you and your Eve are a world apart. Besides,
we’re going to take a trip abroad this summer.
There’s so much I want us to see together.
It would be a shame to ...” She let it hang.
Coulter looked at his mother, remembering
hard. He had been able to stymie that trip on
the excuse that he’d almost certainly lose his
job and that new jobs were too hard to get in a depression
era. He thought that his surviving parent was,
beneath her well-mannered surface, a shallow, domineering,
snobbish empress. Granted his new vista of vision,
he realized for the first time how she had dominated
both his father and himself.
He thought, I hate this woman.
No, not hate, just loathe.
He glanced at the watch on his wrist,
a Waltham he had long since lost or broken or given
away he couldn’t recall which.
He said, “All the same, mother, a date’s
a date. I’m a little late now. Don’t
wait up for me.”
“I shan’t,” she
replied, looking after him with a frown of pale concern
as he headed for the hall closet.
It took a few minutes to get the Pontiac
warmed up but once out of the driveway Coulter knew
the way to Eve Lawton’s house as if he had been
there last night, not two decades earlier. The
small cold winter moon cast its frigid light over
an intimate little group of apple tapioca clouds and
made the snow-clad fields a dark grey beneath the black
evergreens that backed the fields beside the road.
As he slowed to a stop in front of
the old white-frame house with its graceful utilitarian
lines of roof and gable, he found himself wondering
whether this were the dream or the other the
twenty years that had found him an orphan. That
had given him enough inherited money to strike out
for himself in New York. That had seen him win
success as a highly-paid publicist. That had
seen him married to wealthy Connie Marlin and a way
of life as far from that of Lincolnville as he himself
now was from Scarborough and Connie.
Eve opened the door before he reached
it. She was as willowy and alive as he remembered
her, and a great deal more vital and beautiful.
She put up her face to be kissed as soon as he was
inside and his arms went around her soft angora sweater
and he wondered a little at what he had so cavalierly
dismissed and left behind him.
She said, “You’re late,
Banning. I thought you’d forgotten.”
He kept one arm around her as they
walked into the living room with its blazing fire.
He said, “Sorry. Mother wanted to talk.”
“Is she terribly worried about
me?” Eve asked. Her face, in inquiry, was
like a half-opened rose.
Coulter hesitated, then replied, “I
think so, darling. She was afraid your stock
had gone to seed. I had to remind her that your
great, great, great grandfather outranked mine.”
The odd, in her case beautiful, blankness
of fear smoothed Eve’s forehead. She said,
her voice low, her eyes not meeting his, “Yesterday
you’d never have noticed what she was thinking.”
“Yesterday?” He forced
her to look at him. “Yesterday I was another
man a whole twenty-four hours younger.”
He added the last hastily, so as not to rouse suspicion.
Eve, he both knew at once and remembered, was highly
sensitive, intuitively brilliant.
“I know,” she said simply,
and for the second time since the amazing transformation
of the afternoon he felt the tight grip of terror.
Watching her as she turned from him and began to stoke
the fire, he wondered just what she did know.
The album rested on the table against
the back of the sofa in front of the fireplace.
It was a massive leather-and-parchment tome, with
imitation medieval brass clasps and hinges. He
opened it carelessly, seeking reassurance in idle
action.
He flipped the pages idly, in bunches.
There was Eve, a lacy little moppet, held in the arms
of her drunkard farming father. A sort of local
mad-Edison whose inventions never worked or, if they
did, were promptly stolen from him by more profit-minded
promoters. Her brother Jim, sturdy, cowlicked,
squinting into the sun, stood at his father’s
knee. He wondered what had happened to Jim but
didn’t dare ask. Presumably he should know
since Jim shared the house with his sister and an ancient
housekeeper, doubtless long since asleep.
He flipped more pages, came to a snapshot
of Eve in a bathing suit at Lake Tahoe. Bill
Something-or-other, Lincolnville High School football
hero of five years before, had an arm around Eve’s
slim, wool-covered waist. Two-piece suits and
bikinis were still a long way in the future.
He said, “What’s become of Bill?”
She said, “Don’t you remember?
He was killed in that auto crash coming home from
the city last year.” There was an odd questing
flatness in her voice.
Coulter remembered the incident now,
of course. There had been a girl in the car,
who had been disfigured for life. Plastic surgery,
like bikinis, still lay well ahead. He and Eve
had begun going together right after that accident....
Something about Eve’s tone,
some urgency, disturbed him. He looked at her
quickly. She was standing by the fireplace, watching
him, watching him as if he were doing something important.
The fright within him renewed itself. Quickly
he turned back to the album, flipped further pages.
He was close to the end of the album.
What he saw was a newspaper clipping, a clipping showing
himself and Harvey MacIlwaine of Consolidated Motors
shaking hands at a banquet table. The headline
above the picture read, AUTHOR AND AUTO MAGNATE CELEBRATE
BIOGRAPHY.
Above the headline was the date: January 16,
1947.
With hard-forced deliberation, because
every nerve in his body was singing its song of fear
like a banjo string, Coulter closed the album.
The honeymoon, if that was the right term for it, was
over. He knew now which was the dream, which
the reality.
He said, “All of this is your
doing, Eve.” It was not a question.
She said quietly, “That’s
right, Banning, it’s my doing.” She
looked at him with a cool detachment that added to
his bewilderment and to his fright.
He said, “Why, Eve? Why have you done
this?”
She said, “Banning, do you know what a Jane
Austen villain is?”
He shook his head. “Hardly my pitch, is
it?”
“Hardly.” There was
a trace of sadness in her voice. Then, “A
Jane Austen villain is an attractive, powerful, good-natured
male who rides through life roughshod, interested
only in himself, completely unaware of his effect
on those unlucky souls whose existences become entangled
in his.”
“And I am a Jane Austen villain?”
He was puzzled, disturbed that anyone Eve
or anyone should think of him as a villain.
Mentally he began to search for kindnesses, for unselfishnesses.
He found generosities, yes, but these, he supposed
with sudden dreadful clarity, had been little more
than balm to his ego.
“You are perhaps a classic example,
Banning,” she told him. Her face, in shadow,
was exquisitely beautiful. “When you left
Lincolnville twenty years ago, without seeing me,
without letting me see you, you destroyed me.”
“Good God!” Coulter exclaimed.
“But how? I know it was rude, but I did
mean to come back. And when things moved differently
it seemed better to keep a clean break clean.”
He hesitated, added, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry that you destroyed me?” Her tone
was acid-etched.
“Dammit, do you want me down
on my knees?” he countered. “How the
devil did my leaving destroy you?” Anger,
prodded by fear, was warming his blood.
“I was sensitive aware
of the collapse of my family, of my own shortcomings,
of my lack of opportunity,” she said, staring
with immense grey eyes at the wall behind him.
“I was just beginning to feel I could be somebody,
could mean something to someone I liked when
you dropped me and never looked back.
“I took a job at the bank.
For twenty years I’ve sat in a cage, counting
out money and putting little legends in bank-books.
I’ve felt myself drying up day by day, week
by week, year by year. When I’ve sought
love I’ve merely defiled myself. You taught
me passion, Banning, then destroyed my capacity to
enjoy it with anyone but you. You destroyed me
and never even knew it.”
“You could have gone out into
the world,” he said with a trace of contempt.
“Other girls have.”
“Other girls are not me,”
Eve replied steadily. “Other girls don’t
give themselves to a man as completely as I gave myself
to you.”
“What can I do now?” Coulter
asked, running a hand through his newly crew-cut hair.
Recalling Eve at dinner, seeing her in the doorway,
holding her briefly in his arms he had almost
decided that in this new life she was the partner
he would carry with him.
Now, however, he was afraid of her.
It was Eve who had, in some strange way, brought him
back twenty years for purposes she had yet to divulge.
One thing he knew, logically and intuitively he
could never endure life with anyone of whom he was
frightened.
She was no longer looking at the wall she
was looking directly at him and with curious intensity.
She said, “Do you have to ask?”
She was testing him, of course.
Sensitive, brilliant, she might be yet
she was a fool not to have judged the effect of his
fear of her. He walked around the table, took
hold of her shoulders, turned her to face him, said,
“What has this particular evening to do with
bringing me us back?”
“Everything!” she said,
her eyes suddenly ablaze. “Everything,
Banning! Can’t you understand?”
He released her, lit himself a cigarette,
seeking the calmness he knew he must have to keep
his thinking clear. He said, “Perhaps I
understand why a little. But how,
Eve, how?”
She got up and walked across the wide
hearth, kicked a fallen log back into place.
Its glowing red scales burst into yellow flame.
She turned and said, “Remember my father’s
last work? His efforts to discover the secrets
of Time?”
“I remember he threw away what
should have been your inheritance on a flock of crackpot
ideas,” he told her.
“This wasn’t a crackpot
idea,” she said, eyeing him as if he were another
log for the fire. “His basic premise that
Time is all-existent was sound. Time is past,
present and future.”
“I might have argued that with
you before today,” he replied.
“It was like everything else
he tried.” She made an odd little gesture
of helplessness. “He went at it wrong-end-to,
of course. Not until after he died and Jim got
back from M.I.T. did we get to work on it. I was
merely the helper who held the tools for Jim.
And when we completed it he lacked the courage
to try it out.” There was the acid of contempt
in her voice at her brother’s poltroonery.
“I don’t blame him,”
said Coulter. “After all ...”
He changed the subject, asked, “Where is
Jim?”
“He was killed at Iwo Jima,” she told
him.
“What’s to keep him from
walking in here tonight or to keep you
from walking in on us?” he asked.
“Jim’s in Cambridge, studying
for exams,” she replied. “As for my
meeting myself, it’s impossible. It’s
hard to explain but in coming back here I became reintegrated
with the past me. Just as you are both a present
and a past you. You must have noticed a certain
duplication of memories, an overlapping? I
have.”
“I’ve noticed,” he said. “But
why only we two?”
“I’ll show you,”
she said. “Come.” She led him
down rough wooden cellar stairs to a basement, unfastened
with pale and dexterous fingers a padlocked wooden
door behind the big old-fashioned furnace with its
up-curving stovepipe arms, under which he had to stoop
to avoid bumping his head.
The sharp sting of dead furnace-ashes
was in his nostrils as he looked at the strange device.
The strange cage-like device, the strange jerry-built
apparatus was centered in a bizarre instrument panel
that seemed to hang from nothing at all. He said,
eyeing a bucket-seat for the operator, “It looks
like Red Barber’s cat-bird seat, Eve.”
“And we’re sitting in
it, just you and I, darling,” she replied.
“Just you and I out of all the people who ever
lived. Think of what we can do with our lives
now, the mistakes we can avoid!”
“I’m thinking of them,”
said Coulter. Then, after a brief pause, “But
how in hell did you manage to get me into the
act?”
She stepped inside the odd cage, plucked
things from a cup-like receptacle that hung from the
instrument panel, showed them to him. There were
a lock of hair, a scarf, what looked like fingernail
parings. At his bewilderment her face lighted
briefly with the shadow of a smile.
She said, “These are you,
darling. Oh, you still don’t understand!
Lacking the person or thing to be sent
back in Time, something that is part of the person
or thing will work. It keys directly to individual
patterns.”
“And you’ve kept those
things those pieces of me in
there all this time?” He shuddered. “It
looks like voodoo to me.”
She put back the mementos, stepped
out of the cage, put her arms fiercely around him.
“Banning, darling, after you left me I did
try voodoo. I wanted you to suffer as I suffered.
But then, when the Time machine was finished and Jim
was afraid to use it, I put the things in it and
waited. It’s been a long wait.”
“How did it reach me while I
was still miles away?” he asked.
“Jim always said its working
radius was about five miles,” she said.
“When you drove within range, it took over....
But let’s go back upstairs, darling we
have our lives to plan.”
To change the subject Coulter said,
when they emerged from the basement, “You must
have had a time picking the right moment for this little
reunion or was it hit or miss?”
“The machine is completely accurate,”
she said firmly. She stood there, the firelight
making a halo of her dark hair. There was urgency
in her, an expectation that the remark would mean
something to him. It didn’t.
Finally she burst out with, “Banning,
are you really so forgetful? Don’t you
remember what tonight was ... don’t you?”
Coulter did some hasty mental kangaroo-hopping.
He knew it was important to Eve and, because of the
incredible thing she had accomplished, he felt a new
wave of fright. From some recess of his memory
he got a flash Jim was in Cambridge, the
housekeeper asleep in the rear ell of the old farmhouse,
he and Eve were alone.
He drew her gently close to him and
kissed her soft waiting lips as he had kissed them
twenty years before, felt the quiver of her slim body
against him as he had felt it twenty years before.
He should have known Eve had selected for
their reunion the anniversary of the first time they
had truly given themselves to each other.
He said, “Of course I remember,
darling. If I’m a little slow on the uptake
it’s because I’ve had a lot of things happen
to me all at once.”
“The old Banning Coulter would
never have understood,” she said, giving him
a quick hug before standing clear of him. Her
eyes were shining like star sapphires. “Banning,
you’ve grown up!”
“People do,” he said drily.
There was an odd sort of tension between them as they
stood there, knowing what was to happen between them.
Eve took a deep unsteady breath and the rise and fall
of her angora sweater made his arms itch to pull her
close.
She said, before he could translate
desire into action, “Oh, I’ve been so
wrong about so many things, darling. But
I was so right to bring you back. Think
of what we’re going to be able to do, you and
I together, now that we have this second chance.
We’ll know just what’s going to happen.
We’ll be rich and free and lord it over ordinary
mortals. I’ll have furs and you’ll
have yachts and we’ll ...”
“I’m a lousy sailor,”
said Coulter. “No, I don’t want a
yacht.”
“Nonsense, we’ll have
a yacht and cruise wherever we want to go. Think
of how easy it will be for us to make money.”
Her eyes were shining more brightly still. “No
more standing in a teller’s cage for me.
No more feeling the life-sap dry up inside me, handling
thousands of dollars a day and none of it mine.”
She stepped to him, gripped him tightly,
her fingernails making themselves felt even through
the heavy material of his jacket. She kissed
him fiercely and said in a throaty whisper, “Darling,
I’m going upstairs. Come up in ten minutes and
be young again with me.”
She left him standing alone in front of the fire....
Coulter filled his pipe and lit it.
His mother had said we when she talked of her
plans, as if her son were merely an object to be moved
about at her whim. Pick up my lighter at MacAuliffe’s
... going to take a trip abroad this summer ... not
going to be foolish about her.... He could see
the phrases as vividly as if they were written on a
video teleprompter.
And then he saw another set of phrases different
in content, yet strangely alike in meaning. Nonsense,
we’ll have a yacht ... lord it over ordinary
mortals ... a long wait. He thought of the voodoo
and the fingernail parings, of the savage materialism
of the woman who was even now preparing herself to
receive him upstairs, who was planning to relive his
life with him in her image.
He thought of his wife, foolish perhaps,
but true to him and never domineering. He thought
of the Scarborough house and the good friends he had
there, hundreds of miles and twenty years away.
He wondered if he could go back if he got beyond the
five-mile radius of the strange machine in the basement.
He looked down with regret at his
slim young body, so unexpectedly regained and
thought of the heavier, older less vibrant body that
lay waiting for him five miles away. Then swiftly,
silently, he tiptoed into the hall, donned coat and
hat and gloves, slipped through the front door and
bolted for the Pontiac.
He drove like a madman over the icy
roads through the dark. Somehow he sensed he
would have to get beyond the reach of the machine before
Eve grew impatient and came downstairs and found him
gone. She might, in her anger, send him back
to some other Time or perhaps the machine
worked both ways. He didn’t know.
He could only flee in fear ... and hope....
At times, in the years that had passed
since his abrupt breaking-off of his romance with
Eve Lawton, he had wondered a little about why he had
dropped her so quickly, just when his mother’s
death seemed to open the path for their marriage.
Now he knew that youthful instinct
had served him better than he knew. Somehow,
beneath the charm and wit and beauty of the girl, he
had sensed the domineering woman. Perhaps a lifetime
with his mother had made him extra-aware of Eve’s
desire to dominate without its reaching his conscious
mind.
But to have exchanged the velvet glove
of his mother for the velvet glove of Eve would have
meant a lifetime of bondage. He would never have
been his own man, never....
He could feel cold sweat bathe his
body once more as he sped past the Brigham Farm.
According to his wristwatch just eight and a quarter
minutes had elapsed since Eve had left him and gone
upstairs. He felt a sudden urge to turn around
and go back to her he knew she would forgive
his attempt to run away. After all, he couldn’t
even guess at what would happen when he reached the
outer limit of the machine’s influence.
Would he be in 1934 or 1954 or irretrievably
lost in some timeless nowhere at all?
He thought again of what Eve had said
about yachts and world traveling and wondered how
she could hope to do so if the radius of influence
was only five miles. Eve might be passionate,
headstrong and neurotic, but she was not a fool.
If she had planned travel on a world of two decades
past she must have found a way of making his and her
stay in that past permanent, without trammels.
If she had altered the machine ...
But she wouldn’t have until he was caught in
her trap when, inevitably, he returned to look at the
scenes of his childhood. He tried to recall what
she had done, what gestures she had made, when she
demonstrated the machine. As nearly as he could
remember, all Eve had done was to pluck out his nail
parings, the bit of hair and scarf, then return them
to their receptacle.
Voodoo.... She was close to mad.
Or perhaps he was mad himself. He wiped his streaming
forehead with a sleeve, barely avoided overturning
as he rounded a curve flanked by signboards....
He felt a bump....
And suddenly he was in the big convertible
again, guiding it over to one of the parking lanes
at the side of the magnificent two-laned highway.
He looked down at his sleek dark vicuna coat, visualized
the rise of plump stomach beneath it, reached in his
breast pocket for a panatella.
He noticed the tremble in his hand.
No, no cigars now, he thought. Not with
the old pump acting up like this. Too much excitement.
He reached for the little box of nitroglycerin tablets
in his watch-pocket, got it out, took one, waited.
Maybe his life wasn’t perfect,
maybe there wasn’t much of it left to live but
what there was was his, not his mother’s, not
Eve’s. The unsteadiness in his chest was
fading. He turned on the ignition, drove slowly
back through the housing developments, the neon signs
and clover-leaf turns and graded crossings toward
the city....
When he got back to the hotel he would
call Connie in Scarborough. It would be heavenly,
the sound of her high, silly little voice....