She had walked up the railroad
track with Hugh, this Sunday afternoon.
She saw Erik Valborg coming, in an
ancient highwater suit, tramping sullenly and alone,
striking at the rails with a stick. For a second
she unreasoningly wanted to avoid him, but she kept
on, and she serenely talked about God, whose voice,
Hugh asserted, made the humming in the telegraph wires.
Erik stared, straightened. They greeted each other
with “Hello.”
“Hugh, say how-do-you-do to Mr. Valborg.”
“Oh, dear me, he’s got
a button unbuttoned,” worried Erik, kneeling.
Carol frowned, then noted the strength with which he
swung the baby in the air.
“May I walk along a piece with you?”
“I’m tired. Let’s rest on those
ties. Then I must be trotting back.”
They sat on a heap of discarded railroad
ties, oak logs spotted with cinnamon-colored dry-rot
and marked with metallic brown streaks where iron
plates had rested. Hugh learned that the pile
was the hiding-place of Injuns; he went gunning for
them while the elders talked of uninteresting things.
The telegraph wires thrummed, thrummed,
thrummed above them; the rails were glaring hard lines;
the goldenrod smelled dusty. Across the track
was a pasture of dwarf clover and sparse lawn cut by
earthy cow-paths; beyond its placid narrow green,
the rough immensity of new stubble, jagged with wheat-stacks
like huge pineapples.
Erik talked of books; flamed like
a recent convert to any faith. He exhibited as
many titles and authors as possible, halting only to
appeal, “Have you read his last book? Don’t
you think he’s a terribly strong writer?”
She was dizzy. But when he insisted,
“You’ve been a librarian; tell me; do
I read too much fiction?” she advised him loftily,
rather discursively. He had, she indicated, never
studied. He had skipped from one emotion to another.
Especially — she hesitated, then flung it
at him — he must not guess at pronunciations;
he must endure the nuisance of stopping to reach for
the dictionary.
“I’m talking like a cranky teacher,”
she sighed.
“No! And I will study!
Read the damned dictionary right through.”
He crossed his legs and bent over, clutching his ankle
with both hands. “I know what you mean.
I’ve been rushing from picture to picture, like
a kid let loose in an art gallery for the first time.
You see, it’s so awful recent that I’ve
found there was a world — well, a world where
beautiful things counted. I was on the farm till
I was nineteen. Dad is a good farmer, but nothing
else. Do you know why he first sent me off to
learn tailoring? I wanted to study drawing, and
he had a cousin that’d made a lot of money tailoring
out in Dakota, and he said tailoring was a lot like
drawing, so he sent me down to a punk hole called Curlew,
to work in a tailor shop. Up to that time I’d
only had three months’ schooling a year — walked
to school two miles, through snow up to my knees — and
Dad never would stand for my having a single book except
schoolbooks.
“I never read a novel till I
got ‘Dorothy Vernon of Haddon Hall’ out
of the library at Curlew. I thought it was the
loveliest thing in the world! Next I read ‘Barriers
Burned Away’ and then Pope’s translation
of Homer. Some combination, all right! When
I went to Minneapolis, just two years ago, I guess
I’d read pretty much everything in that Curlew
library, but I’d never heard of Rossetti or John
Sargent or Balzac or Brahms. But — Yump,
I’ll study. Look here! Shall I get
out of this tailoring, this pressing and repairing?”
“I don’t see why a surgeon
should spend very much time cobbling shoes.”
“But what if I find I can’t
really draw and design? After fussing around
in New York or Chicago, I’d feel like a fool
if I had to go back to work in a gents’ furnishings
store!”
“Please say ‘haberdashery.’”
“Haberdashery? All right.
I’ll remember.” He shrugged and spread
his fingers wide.
She was humbled by his humility; she
put away in her mind, to take out and worry over later,
a speculation as to whether it was not she who was
naïve. She urged, “What if you do have to
go back? Most of us do! We can’t all
be artists — myself, for instance. We
have to darn socks, and yet we’re not content
to think of nothing but socks and darning-cotton.
I’d demand all I could get — whether
I finally settled down to designing frocks or building
temples or pressing pants. What if you do drop
back? You’ll have had the adventure.
Don’t be too meek toward life! Go!
You’re young, you’re unmarried. Try
everything! Don’t listen to Nat Hicks and
Sam Clark and be a ’steady young man’ — in
order to help them make money. You’re still
a blessed innocent. Go and play till the Good
People capture you!”
“But I don’t just want
to play. I want to make something beautiful.
God! And I don’t know enough. Do you
get it? Do you understand? Nobody else ever
has! Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“And so — But
here’s what bothers me: I like fabrics;
dinky things like that; little drawings and elegant
words. But look over there at those fields.
Big! New! Don’t it seem kind of a shame
to leave this and go back to the East and Europe,
and do what all those people have been doing so long?
Being careful about words, when there’s millions
of bushels off wheat here! Reading this fellow
Pater, when I’ve helped Dad to clear fields!”
“It’s good to clear fields.
But it’s not for you. It’s one of
our favorite American myths that broad plains necessarily
make broad minds, and high mountains make high purpose.
I thought that myself, when I first came to the prairie.
‘Big — new.’ Oh, I don’t
want to deny the prairie future. It will be magnificent.
But equally I’m hanged if I want to be bullied
by it, go to war on behalf of Main Street, be bullied
and bullied by the faith that the future is already
here in the present, and that all of us must stay
and worship wheat-stacks and insist that this is ’God’s
Country’ — and never, of course, do
anything original or gay-colored that would help to
make that future! Anyway, you don’t belong
here. Sam Clark and Nat Hicks, that’s what
our big newness has produced. Go! Before
it’s too late, as it has been for — for
some of us. Young man, go East and grow up with
the revolution! Then perhaps you may come back
and tell Sam and Nat and me what to do with the land
we’ve been clearing — if we’ll
listen — if we don’t lynch you first!”
He looked at her reverently. She could hear him
saying,
“I’ve always wanted to know a woman who
would talk to me like that.”
Her hearing was faulty. He was
saying nothing of the sort. He was saying:
“Why aren’t you happy with your husband?”
“I — you — ”
“He doesn’t care for the ‘blessed
innocent’ part of you, does he!”
“Erik, you mustn’t — ”
“First you tell me to go and
be free, and then you say that I ’mustn’t’!”
“I know. But you mustn’t — You
must be more impersonal!”
He glowered at her like a downy young
owl. She wasn’t sure but she thought that
he muttered, “I’m damned if I will.”
She considered with wholesome fear the perils of meddling
with other people’s destinies, and she said
timidly, “Hadn’t we better start back now?”
He mused, “You’re younger
than I am. Your lips are for songs about rivers
in the morning and lakes at twilight. I don’t
see how anybody could ever hurt you. . . . Yes.
We better go.”
He trudged beside her, his eyes averted.
Hugh experimentally took his thumb. He looked
down at the baby seriously. He burst out, “All
right. I’ll do it. I’ll stay
here one year. Save. Not spend so much money
on clothes. And then I’ll go East, to art-school.
Work on the side-tailor shop, dressmaker’s.
I’ll learn what I’m good for: designing
clothes, stage-settings, illustrating, or selling
collars to fat men. All settled.”
He peered at her, unsmiling.
“Can you stand it here in town for a year?”
“With you to look at?”
“Please! I mean: Don’t
the people here think you’re an odd bird? (They
do me, I assure you!)”
“I don’t know. I
never notice much. Oh, they do kid me about not
being in the army — especially the old warhorses,
the old men that aren’t going themselves.
And this Bogart boy. And Mr. Hicks’s son — he’s
a horrible brat. But probably he’s licensed
to say what he thinks about his father’s hired
man!”
“He’s beastly!”
They were in town. They passed
Aunt Bessie’s house. Aunt Bessie and Mrs.
Bogart were at the window, and Carol saw that they
were staring so intently that they answered her wave
only with the stiffly raised hands of automatons.
In the next block Mrs. Dr. Westlake was gaping from
her porch. Carol said with an embarrassed quaver:
“I want to run in and see Mrs.
Westlake. I’ll say good-by here.”
She avoided his eyes.
Mrs. Westlake was affable. Carol
felt that she was expected to explain; and while she
was mentally asserting that she’d be hanged if
she’d explain, she was explaining:
“Hugh captured that Valborg
boy up the track. They became such good friends.
And I talked to him for a while. I’d heard
he was eccentric, but really, I found him quite intelligent.
Crude, but he reads — reads almost the way
Dr. Westlake does.”
“That’s fine. Why
does he stick here in town? What’s this
I hear about his being interested in Myrtle Cass?”
“I don’t know. Is
he? I’m sure he isn’t! He said
he was quite lonely! Besides, Myrtle is a babe
in arms!”
“Twenty-one if she’s a day!”
“Well — Is the doctor going
to do any hunting this fall?”
II
The need of explaining Erik dragged
her back into doubting. For all his ardent reading,
and his ardent life, was he anything but a small-town
youth bred on an illiberal farm and in cheap tailor
shops? He had rough hands. She had been
attracted only by hands that were fine and suave,
like those of her father. Delicate hands and resolute
purpose. But this boy — powerful seamed
hands and flabby will.
“It’s not appealing weakness
like his, but sane strength that win animate the Gopher
Prairies. Only — Does that mean
anything? Or am I echoing Vida? The world
has always let ‘strong’ statesmen and
soldiers — the men with strong voices — take
control, and what have the thundering boobies done?
What is ‘strength’?
“This classifying of people!
I suppose tailors differ as much as burglars or kings.
“Erik frightened me when he
turned on me. Of course he didn’t mean
anything, but I mustn’t let him be so personal.
“Amazing impertinence!
“But he didn’t mean to be.
“His hands are firm. I wonder if sculptors
don’t have thick hands, too?
“Of course if there really is anything I can
do to help the boy —
“Though I despise these people who interfere.
He must be independent.”
III
She wasn’t altogether pleased,
the week after, when Erik was independent and, without
asking for her inspiration, planned the tennis tournament.
It proved that he had learned to play in Minneapolis;
that, next to Juanita Haydock, he had the best serve
in town. Tennis was well spoken of in Gopher
Prairie and almost never played. There were three
courts: one belonging to Harry Haydock, one to
the cottages at the lake, and one, a rough field on
the outskirts, laid out by a defunct tennis association.
Erik had been seen in flannels and
an imitation panama hat, playing on the abandoned
court with Willis Woodford, the clerk in Stowbody’s
bank. Suddenly he was going about proposing the
reorganization of the tennis association, and writing
names in a fifteen-cent note-book bought for the purpose
at Dyer’s. When he came to Carol he was
so excited over being an organizer that he did not
stop to talk of himself and Aubrey Beardsley for more
than ten minutes. He begged, “Will you get
some of the folks to come in?” and she nodded
agreeably.
He proposed an informal exhibition
match to advertise the association; he suggested that
Carol and himself, the Haydocks, the Woodfords, and
the Dillons play doubles, and that the association
be formed from the gathered enthusiasts. He had
asked Harry Haydock to be tentative president.
Harry, he reported, had promised, “All right.
You bet. But you go ahead and arrange things,
and I’ll O.K. ’em.” Erik planned
that the match should be held Saturday afternoon,
on the old public court at the edge of town.
He was happy in being, for the first time, part of
Gopher Prairie.
Through the week Carol heard how select
an attendance there was to be.
Kennicott growled that he didn’t care to go.
Had he any objections to her playing with Erik?
No; sure not; she needed the exercise.
Carol went to the match early. The court was
in a meadow out on the New Antonia road. Only
Erik was there. He was dashing about with a rake,
trying to make the court somewhat less like a plowed
field. He admitted that he had stage fright at
the thought of the coming horde. Willis and Mrs.
Woodford arrived, Willis in home-made knickers and
black sneakers through at the toe; then Dr. and Mrs.
Harvey Dillon, people as harmless and grateful as the
Woodfords.
Carol was embarrassed and excessively
agreeable, like the bishop’s lady trying not
to feel out of place at a Baptist bazaar.
They waited.
The match was scheduled for three.
As spectators there assembled one youthful grocery
clerk, stopping his Ford delivery wagon to stare from
the seat, and one solemn small boy, tugging a smaller
sister who had a careless nose.
“I wonder where the Haydocks
are? They ought to show up, at least,” said
Erik.
Carol smiled confidently at him, and
peered down the empty road toward town. Only
heat-waves and dust and dusty weeds.
At half-past three no one had come,
and the grocery boy reluctantly got out, cranked his
Ford, glared at them in a disillusioned manner, and
rattled away. The small boy and his sister ate
grass and sighed.
The players pretended to be exhilarated
by practising service, but they startled at each dust-cloud
from a motor car. None of the cars turned into
the meadow-none till a quarter to four, when Kennicott
drove in.
Carol’s heart swelled.
“How loyal he is! Depend on him! He’d
come, if nobody else did. Even though he doesn’t
care for the game. The old darling!”
Kennicott did not alight. He
called out, “Carrie! Harry Haydock ’phoned
me that they’ve decided to hold the tennis matches,
or whatever you call ’em, down at the cottages
at the lake, instead of here. The bunch are down
there now: Haydocks and Dyers and Clarks and everybody.
Harry wanted to know if I’d bring you down.
I guess I can take the time — come right
back after supper.”
Before Carol could sum it all up,
Erik stammered, “Why, Haydock didn’t say
anything to me about the change. Of course he’s
the president, but — ”
Kennicott looked at him heavily, and
grunted, “I don’t know a thing about it.
. . . Coming, Carrie?”
“I am not! The match was
to be here, and it will be here! You can tell
Harry Haydock that he’s beastly rude!”
She rallied the five who had been left out, who would
always be left out. “Come on! We’ll
toss to see which four of us play the Only and Original
First Annual Tennis Tournament of Forest Hills, Del
Monte, and Gopher Prairie!”
“Don’t know as I blame
you,” said Kennicott. “Well have supper
at home then?” He drove off.
She hated him for his composure.
He had ruined her defiance. She felt much less
like Susan B. Anthony as she turned to her huddled
followers.
Mrs. Dillon and Willis Woodford lost
the toss. The others played out the game, slowly,
painfully, stumbling on the rough earth, muffing the
easiest shots, watched only by the small boy and his
sniveling sister. Beyond the court stretched
the eternal stubble-fields. The four marionettes,
awkwardly going through exercises, insignificant in
the hot sweep of contemptuous land, were not heroic;
their voices did not ring out in the score, but sounded
apologetic; and when the game was over they glanced
about as though they were waiting to be laughed at.
They walked home. Carol took
Erik’s arm. Through her thin linen sleeve
she could feel the crumply warmth of his familiar brown
jersey coat. She observed that there were purple
and red gold threads interwoven with the brown.
She remembered the first time she had seen it.
Their talk was nothing but improvisations
on the theme: “I never did like this Haydock.
He just considers his own convenience.”
Ahead of them, the Dillons and Woodfords spoke of
the weather and B. J. Gougerling’s new bungalow.
No one referred to their tennis tournament. At
her gate Carol shook hands firmly with Erik and smiled
at him.
Next morning, Sunday morning, when
Carol was on the porch, the Haydocks drove up.
“We didn’t mean to be
rude to you, dearie!” implored Juanita.
“I wouldn’t have you think that for anything.
We planned that Will and you should come down and
have supper at our cottage.”
“No. I’m sure you
didn’t mean to be.” Carol was super-neighborly.
“But I do think you ought to apologize to poor
Erik Valborg. He was terribly hurt.”
“Oh. Valborg. I don’t
care so much what he thinks,” objected Harry.
“He’s nothing but a conceited buttinsky.
Juanita and I kind of figured he was trying to run
this tennis thing too darn much anyway.”
“But you asked him to make arrangements.”
“I know, but I don’t like
him. Good Lord, you couldn’t hurt his feelings!
He dresses up like a chorus man — and, by
golly, he looks like one! — but he’s
nothing but a Swede farm boy, and these foreigners,
they all got hides like a covey of rhinoceroses .”
“But he is hurt!”
“Well — I don’t
suppose I ought to have gone off half-cocked, and not
jollied him along. I’ll give him a cigar.
He’ll — ”
Juanita had been licking her lips
and staring at Carol. She interrupted her husband,
“Yes, I do think Harry ought to fix it up with
him. You like him, don’t you,
Carol??”
Over and through Carol ran a frightened
cautiousness. “Like him? I haven’t
an i-dea. He seems to be a very decent young
man. I just felt that when he’d worked
so hard on the plans for the match, it was a shame
not to be nice to him.”
“Maybe there’s something
to that,” mumbled Harry; then, at sight of Kennicott
coming round the corner tugging the red garden hose
by its brass nozzle, he roared in relief, “What
d’ you think you’re trying to do, doc?”
While Kennicott explained in detail
all that he thought he was trying to do, while he
rubbed his chin and gravely stated, “Struck me
the grass was looking kind of brown in patches — didn’t
know but what I’d give it a sprinkling,”
and while Harry agreed that this was an excellent
idea, Juanita made friendly noises and, behind the
gilt screen of an affectionate smile, watched Carol’s
face.
IV
She wanted to see Erik. She wanted
some one to play with! There wasn’t even
so dignified and sound an excuse as having Kennicott’s
trousers pressed; when she inspected them, all three
pairs looked discouragingly neat. She probably
would not have ventured on it had she not spied Nat
Hicks in the pool-parlor, being witty over bottle-pool.
Erik was alone! She fluttered toward the tailor
shop, dashed into its slovenly heat with the comic
fastidiousness of a humming bird dipping into a dry
tiger-lily. It was after she had entered that
she found an excuse.
Erik was in the back room, cross-legged
on a long table, sewing a vest. But he looked
as though he were doing this eccentric thing to amuse
himself.
“Hello. I wonder if you
couldn’t plan a sports-suit for me?” she
said breathlessly.
He stared at her; he protested, “No,
I won’t! God! I’m not going to
be a tailor with you!”
“Why, Erik!” she said, like a mildly shocked
mother.
It occurred to her that she did not
need a suit, and that the order might have been hard
to explain to Kennicott.
He swung down from the table.
“I want to show you something.” He
rummaged in the roll-top desk on which Nat Hicks kept
bills, buttons, calendars, buckles, thread-channeled
wax, shotgun shells, samples of brocade for “fancy
vests,” fishing-reels, pornographic post-cards,
shreds of buckram lining. He pulled out a blurred
sheet of Bristol board and anxiously gave it to her.
It was a sketch for a frock. It was not well
drawn; it was too finicking; the pillars in the background
were grotesquely squat. But the frock had an
original back, very low, with a central triangular
section from the waist to a string of jet beads at
the neck.
“It’s stunning. But how it would
shock Mrs. Clark!”
“Yes, wouldn’t it!”
“You must let yourself go more when you’re
drawing.”
“Don’t know if I can.
I’ve started kind of late. But listen!
What do you think I’ve done this two weeks?
I’ve read almost clear through a Latin grammar,
and about twenty pages of Cæsar.”
“Splendid! You are lucky. You haven’t
a teacher to make you artificial.”
“You’re my teacher!”
There was a dangerous edge of personality
to his voice. She was offended and agitated.
She turned her shoulder on him, stared through the
back window, studying this typical center of a typical
Main Street block, a vista hidden from casual strollers.
The backs of the chief establishments in town surrounded
a quadrangle neglected, dirty, and incomparably dismal.
From the front, Howland & Gould’s grocery was
smug enough, but attached to the rear was a lean-to
of storm streaked pine lumber with a sanded tar roof — a
staggering doubtful shed behind which was a heap of
ashes, splintered packing-boxes, shreds of excelsior,
crumpled straw-board, broken olive-bottles, rotten
fruit, and utterly disintegrated vegetables:
orange carrots turning black, and potatoes with ulcers.
The rear of the Bon Ton Store was grim with blistered
black-painted iron shutters, under them a pile of once
glossy red shirt-boxes, now a pulp from recent rain.
As seen from Main Street, Oleson &
McGuire’s Meat Market had a sanitary and virtuous
expression with its new tile counter, fresh sawdust
on the floor, and a hanging veal cut in rosettes.
But she now viewed a back room with a homemade refrigerator
of yellow smeared with black grease. A man in
an apron spotted with dry blood was hoisting out a
hard slab of meat.
Behind Billy’s Lunch, the cook,
in an apron which must long ago have been white, smoked
a pipe and spat at the pest of sticky flies. In
the center of the block, by itself, was the stable
for the three horses of the drayman, and beside it
a pile of manure.
The rear of Ezra Stowbody’s
bank was whitewashed, and back of it was a concrete
walk and a three-foot square of grass, but the window
was barred, and behind the bars she saw Willis Woodford
cramped over figures in pompous books. He raised
his head, jerkily rubbed his eyes, and went back to
the eternity of figures.
The backs of the other shops were
an impressionistic picture of dirty grays, drained
browns, writhing heaps of refuse.
“Mine is a back-yard romance — with
a journeyman tailor!”
She was saved from self-pity as she
began to think through Erik’s mind. She
turned to him with an indignant, “It’s
disgusting that this is all you have to look at.”
He considered it. “Outside
there? I don’t notice much. I’m
learning to look inside. Not awful easy!”
“Yes. . . . I must be hurrying.”
As she walked home — without
hurrying — she remembered her father saying
to a serious ten-year-old Carol, “Lady, only
a fool thinks he’s superior to beautiful bindings,
but only a double-distilled fool reads nothing but
bindings.”
She was startled by the return of
her father, startled by a sudden conviction that in
this flaxen boy she had found the gray reticent judge
who was divine love, perfect under-standing. She
debated it, furiously denied it, reaffirmed it, ridiculed
it. Of one thing she was unhappily certain:
there was nothing of the beloved father image in Will
Kennicott.
V
She wondered why she sang so often,
and why she found so many pleasant things — lamplight
seen though trees on a cool evening, sunshine on brown
wood, morning sparrows, black sloping roofs turned
to plates of silver by moonlight. Pleasant things,
small friendly things, and pleasant places — a
field of goldenrod, a pasture by the creek — and
suddenly a wealth of pleasant people. Vida was
lenient to Carol at the surgical-dressing class; Mrs.
Dave Dyer flattered her with questions about her health,
baby, cook, and opinions on the war.
Mrs. Dyer seemed not to share the
town’s prejudice against Erik. “He’s
a nice-looking fellow; we must have him go on one of
our picnics some time.” Unexpectedly, Dave
Dyer also liked him. The tight-fisted little
farceur had a confused reverence for anything that
seemed to him refined or clever. He answered
Harry Haydock’s sneers, “That’s all
right now! Elizabeth may doll himself up too
much, but he’s smart, and don’t you forget
it! I was asking round trying to find out where
this Ukraine is, and darn if he didn’t tell
me. What’s the matter with his talking so
polite? Hell’s bells, Harry, no harm in
being polite. There’s some regular he-men
that are just as polite as women, prett’ near.”
Carol found herself going about rejoicing,
“How neighborly the town is!” She drew
up with a dismayed “Am I falling in love with
this boy? That’s ridiculous! I’m
merely interested in him. I like to think of helping
him to succeed.”
But as she dusted the living-room,
mended a collar-band, bathed Hugh, she was picturing
herself and a young artistan Apollo nameless and evasive — building
a house in the Berkshires or in Virginia; exuberantly
buying a chair with his first check; reading poetry
together, and frequently being earnest over valuable
statistics about labor; tumbling out of bed early
for a Sunday walk, and chattering (where Kennicott
would have yawned) over bread and butter by a lake.
Hugh was in her pictures, and he adored the young
artist, who made castles of chairs and rugs for him.
Beyond these playtimes she saw the “things I
could do for Erik” — and she admitted
that Erik did partly make up the image of her altogether
perfect artist.
In panic she insisted on being attentive
to Kennicott, when he wanted to be left alone to read
the newspaper.
VI
She needed new clothes. Kennicott
had promised, “We’ll have a good trip
down to the Cities in the fall, and take plenty of
time for it, and you can get your new glad-rags then.”
But as she examined her wardrobe she flung her ancient
black velvet frock on the floor and raged, “They’re
disgraceful. Everything I have is falling to pieces.”
There was a new dressmaker and milliner,
a Mrs. Swiftwaite. It was said that she was not
altogether an elevating influence in the way she glanced
at men; that she would as soon take away a legally
appropriated husband as not; that if there was
any Mr. Swiftwaite, “it certainly was strange
that nobody seemed to know anything about him!”
But she had made for Rita Gould an organdy frock and
hat to match universally admitted to be “too
cunning for words,” and the matrons went cautiously,
with darting eyes and excessive politeness, to the
rooms which Mrs. Swiftwaite had taken in the old Luke
Dawson house, on Floral Avenue.
With none of the spiritual preparation
which normally precedes the buying of new clothes
in Gopher Prairie, Carol marched into Mrs. Swiftwaite’s,
and demanded, “I want to see a hat, and possibly
a blouse.”
In the dingy old front parlor which
she had tried to make smart with a pier glass, covers
from fashion magazines, anemic French prints, Mrs.
Swiftwaite moved smoothly among the dress-dummies and
hat-rests, spoke smoothly as she took up a small black
and red turban. “I am sure the lady will
find this extremely attractive.”
“It’s dreadfully tabby
and small-towny,” thought Carol, while she soothed,
“I don’t believe it quite goes with me.”
“It’s the choicest thing
I have, and I’m sure you’ll find it suits
you beautifully. It has a great deal of chic.
Please try it on,” said Mrs. Swiftwaite, more
smoothly than ever.
Carol studied the woman. She
was as imitative as a glass diamond. She was
the more rustic in her effort to appear urban.
She wore a severe high-collared blouse with a row
of small black buttons, which was becoming to her
low-breasted slim neatness, but her skirt was hysterically
checkered, her cheeks were too highly rouged, her lips
too sharply penciled. She was magnificently a
specimen of the illiterate divorcee of forty made
up to look thirty, clever, and alluring.
While she was trying on the hat Carol
felt very condescending. She took it off, shook
her head, explained with the kind smile for inferiors,
“I’m afraid it won’t do, though it’s
unusually nice for so small a town as this.”
“But it’s really absolutely New-Yorkish.”
“Well, it — ”
“You see, I know my New York
styles. I lived in New York for years, besides
almost a year in Akron!”
“You did?” Carol was polite,
and edged away, and went home unhappily. She
was wondering whether her own airs were as laughable
as Mrs. Swiftwaite’s. She put on the eye-glasses
which Kennicott had recently given to her for reading,
and looked over a grocery bill. She went hastily
up to her room, to her mirror. She was in a mood
of self-depreciation. Accurately or not, this
was the picture she saw in the mirror:
Neat rimless eye-glasses. Black
hair clumsily tucked under a mauve straw hat which
would have suited a spinster. Cheeks clear, bloodless.
Thin nose. Gentle mouth and chin. A modest
voile blouse with an edging of lace at the neck.
A virginal sweetness and timorousness — no
flare of gaiety, no suggestion of cities, music, quick
laughter.
“I have become a small-town
woman. Absolute. Typical. Modest and
moral and safe. Protected from life. Genteel!
The Village Virus — the village virtuousness.
My hair — just scrambled together. What
can Erik see in that wedded spinster there? He
does like me! Because I’m the only woman
who’s decent to him! How long before he’ll
wake up to me? . . . I’ve waked up to myself.
. . . Am I as old as — as old as I am?
“Not really old. Become careless.
Let myself look tabby.
“I want to chuck every stitch
I own. Black hair and pale cheeks — they’d
go with a Spanish dancer’s costume — rose
behind my ear, scarlet mantilla over one shoulder,
the other bare.”
She seized the rouge sponge, daubed
her cheeks, scratched at her lips with the vermilion
pencil until they stung, tore open her collar.
She posed with her thin arms in the attitude of the
fandango. She dropped them sharply. She
shook her head. “My heart doesn’t
dance,” she said. She flushed as she fastened
her blouse.
“At least I’m much more
graceful than Fern Mullins. Heavens! When
I came here from the Cities, girls imitated me.
Now I’m trying to imitate a city girl.”