Almost any day, on Plutoria Avenue
or thereabouts, you may see little Mr. Spillikins
out walking with his four tall sons, who are practically
as old as himself.
To be exact, Mr. Spillikins is twenty-four,
and Bob, the oldest of the boys, must be at least
twenty. Their exact ages are no longer known,
because, by a dreadful accident, their mother forgot
them. This was at a time when the boys were all
at Mr. Wackem’s Academy for Exceptional Youths
in the foothills of Tennessee, and while their mother,
Mrs. Everleigh, was spending the winter on the Riviera
and felt that for their own sake she must not allow
herself to have the boys with her.
But now, of course, since Mrs. Everleigh
has remarried and become Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins
there is no need to keep them at Mr. Wackem’s
any longer. Mr. Spillikins is able to look after
them.
Mr. Spillikins generally wears a little
top hat and an English morning coat. The boys
are in Eton jackets and black trousers, which, at their
mother’s wish, are kept just a little too short
for them. This is because Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins
feels that the day will come some day say
fifteen years hence when the boys will no
longer be children, and meantime it is so nice to
feel that they are still mere boys. Bob is the
eldest, but Sib the youngest is the tallest, whereas
Willie the third boy is the dullest, although this
has often been denied by those who claim that Gib
the second boy is just a trifle duller. Thus at
any rate there is a certain equality and good fellowship
all round.
Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins is not to
be seen walking with them. She is probably at
the race-meet, being taken there by Captain Cormorant
of the United States navy, which Mr. Spillikins considers
very handsome of him. Every now and then the
captain, being in the navy, is compelled to be at
sea for perhaps a whole afternoon or even several days;
in which case Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins is very generally
taken to the Hunt Club or the Country Club by Lieutenant
Hawk, which Mr. Spillikins regards as awfully thoughtful
of him. Or if Lieutenant Hawk is also out of town
for the day, as he sometimes has to be, because he
is in the United States army, Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins
is taken out by old Colonel Shake, who is in the State
militia and who is at leisure all the time.
During their walks on Plutoria Avenue
one may hear the four boys addressing Mr. Spillikins
as “father” and “dad” in deep
bull-frog voices.
“Say, dad,” drawls Bob,
“couldn’t we all go to the ball game?”
“No. Say, dad,” says
Gib, “let’s all go back to the house and
play five-cent pool in the billiard-room.”
“All right, boys,” says
Mr. Spillikins. And a few minutes later one may
see them all hustling up the steps of the Everleigh-Spillikins’s
mansion, quite eager at the prospect, and all talking
together.
Now the whole of this daily panorama,
to the eye that can read it, represents the outcome
of the tangled love story of Mr. Spillikins, which
culminated during the summer houseparty at Castel Casteggio,
the woodland retreat of Mr. and Mrs. Newberry.
But to understand the story one must
turn back a year or so to the time when Mr. Peter
Spillikins used to walk on Plutoria Avenue alone, or
sit in the Mausoleum Club listening to the advice
of people who told him that he really ought to get
married.
In those days the first thing that
one noticed about Mr. Peter Spillikins was his exalted
view of the other sex. Every time he passed a
beautiful woman in the street he said to himself, “I
say!” Even when he met a moderately beautiful
one he murmured, “By Jove!” When an Easter
hat went sailing past, or a group of summer parasols
stood talking on a leafy corner, Mr. Spillikins ejaculated,
“My word!” At the opera and at tango teas
his projecting blue eyes almost popped out of his
head.
Similarly, if he happened to be with
one of his friends, he would murmur, “I say,
do look at that beautiful girl,” or would
exclaim, “I say, don’t look, but isn’t
that an awfully pretty girl across the street?”
or at the opera, “Old man, don’t let her
see you looking, but do you see that lovely girl in
the box opposite?”
One must add to this that Mr. Spillikins,
in spite of his large and bulging blue eyes, enjoyed
the heavenly gift of short sight. As a consequence
he lived in a world of amazingly beautiful women.
And as his mind was focused in the same way as his
eyes he endowed them with all the virtues and graces
which ought to adhere to fifty-dollar flowered hats
and cerise parasols with ivory handles.
Nor, to do him justice, did Mr. Spillikins
confine his attitude to his view of women alone.
He brought it to bear on everything. Every time
he went to the opera he would come away enthusiastic,
saying, “By Jove, isn’t it simply splendid!
Of course I haven’t the ear to appreciate it I’m
not musical, you know but even with the
little that I know, it’s great; it absolutely
puts me to sleep.” And of each new novel
that he bought he said, “It’s a perfectly
wonderful book! Of course I haven’t the
head to understand it, so I didn’t finish it,
but it’s simply thrilling.” Similarly
with painting, “It’s one of the most marvellous
pictures I ever saw,” he would say. “Of
course I’ve no eye for pictures, and I couldn’t
see anything in it, but it’s wonderful!”
The career of Mr. Spillikins up to
the point of which we are speaking had hitherto not
been very satisfactory, or at least not from the point
of view of Mr. Boulder, who was his uncle and trustee.
Mr. Boulder’s first idea had been to have Mr.
Spillikins attend the university. Dr. Boomer,
the president, had done his best to spread abroad the
idea that a university education was perfectly suitable
even for the rich; that it didn’t follow that
because a man was a university graduate he need either
work or pursue his studies any further; that what the
university aimed to do was merely to put a certain
stamp upon a man. That was all. And this
stamp, according to the tenor of the president’s
convocation addresses, was perfectly harmless.
No one ought to be afraid of it. As a result,
a great many of the very best young men in the City,
who had no need for education at all, were beginning
to attend college. “It marked,” said
Dr. Boomer, “a revolution.”
Mr. Spillikins himself was fascinated
with his studies. The professors seemed to him
living wonders.
“By Jove!” he said, “the
professor of mathematics is a marvel. You ought
to see him explaining trigonometry on the blackboard.
You can’t understand a word of it.”
He hardly knew which of his studies he liked best.
“Physics,” he said, “is a wonderful
study. I got five per cent in it. But, by
Jove! I had to work for it. I’d go
in for it altogether if they’d let me.”
But that was just the trouble they
wouldn’t. And so in course of time Mr.
Spillikins was compelled, for academic reasons, to
abandon his life work. His last words about it
were, “Gad! I nearly passed in trigonometry!”
and he always said afterwards that he had got a tremendous
lot out of the university.
After that, as he had to leave the
university, his trustee, Mr. Boulder, put Mr. Spillikins
into business. It was, of course, his own business,
one of the many enterprises for which Mr. Spillikins,
ever since he was twenty-one, had already been signing
documents and countersigning cheques. So Mr.
Spillikins found himself in a mahogany office selling
wholesale oil. And he liked it. He said that
business sharpened one up tremendously.
“I’m afraid, Mr. Spillikins,”
a caller in the mahogany office would say, “that
we can’t meet you at five dollars. Four
seventy is the best we can do on the present market.”
“My dear chap,” said Mr.
Spillikins, “that’s all right. After
all, thirty cents isn’t much, eh what?
Dash it, old man, we won’t fight about thirty
cents. How much do you want?”
“Well, at four seventy we’ll
take twenty thousand barrels.”
“By Jove!” said Mr. Spillikins;
“twenty thousand barrels. Gad! you want
a lot, don’t you? Pretty big sale, eh, for
a beginner like me? I guess uncle’ll be
tickled to death.”
So tickled was he that after a few
weeks of oil-selling Mr. Boulder urged Mr. Spillikins
to retire, and wrote off many thousand dollars from
the capital value of his estate.
So after this there was only one thing
for Mr. Spillikins to do, and everybody told him so namely
to get married. “Spillikins,” said
his friends at the club after they had taken all his
loose money over the card table, “you ought
to get married.”
“Think so?” said Mr. Spillikins.
Goodness knows he was willing enough.
In fact, up to this point Mr. Spillikins’s whole
existence had been one long aspiring sigh directed
towards the joys of matrimony.
In his brief college days his timid
glances had wandered by an irresistible attraction
towards the seats on the right-hand side of the class
room, where the girls of the first year sat, with golden
pigtails down their backs, doing trigonometry.
He would have married any of them.
But when a girl can work out trigonometry at sight,
what use can she possibly have for marriage?
None. Mr. Spillikins knew this and it kept him
silent. And even when the most beautiful girl
in the class married the demonstrator and thus terminated
her studies in her second year, Spillikins realized
that it was only because the man was, undeniably,
a demonstrator and knew things.
Later on, when Spillikins went into
business and into society, the same fate pursued him.
He loved, for at least six months, Georgiana McTeague,
the niece of the presbyterian minister of St. Osoph’s.
He loved her so well that for her sake he temporarily
abandoned his pew at St. Asaph’s, which was
episcopalian, and listened to fourteen consecutive
sermons on hell. But the affair got no further
than that. Once or twice, indeed, Spillikins
walked home with Georgiana from church and talked
about hell with her; and once her uncle asked him
into the manse for cold supper after evening service,
and they had a long talk about hell all through the
meal and upstairs in the sitting-room afterwards.
But somehow Spillikins could get no further with it.
He read up all he could about hell so as to be able
to talk with Georgiana, but in the end it failed:
a young minister fresh from college came and preached
at St. Osoph’s six special sermons on the absolute
certainty of eternal punishment, and he married Miss
McTeague as a result of it.
And, meantime, Mr. Spillikins had
got engaged, or practically so, to Adelina Lightleigh;
not that he had spoken to her, but he considered himself
bound to her. For her sake he had given up hell
altogether, and was dancing till two in the morning
and studying action bridge out of a book. For
a time he felt so sure that she meant to have him that
he began bringing his greatest friend, Edward Ruff
of the college football team, of whom Spillikins was
very proud, up to the Lightleighs’ residence.
He specially wanted Adelina and Edward to be great
friends, so that Adelina and he might ask Edward up
to the house after he was married. And they got
to be such great friends, and so quickly, that they
were married in New York that autumn. After which
Spillikins used to be invited up to the house by Edward
and Adelina. They both used to tell him how much
they owed him; and they, too, used to join in the
chorus and say, “You know, Peter, you’re
awfully silly not to get married.”
Now all this had happened and finished
at about the time when the Yahi-Bahi Society ran its
course. At its first meeting Mr. Spillikins had
met Dulphemia Rasselyer-Brown. At the very sight
of her he began reading up the life of Buddha and
a translation of the Upanishads so as to fit himself
to aspire to live with her. Even when the society
ended in disaster Mr. Spillikins’s love only
burned the stronger. Consequently, as soon as
he knew that Mr. and Mrs. Rasselyer-Brown were going
away for the summer, and that Dulphemia was to go to
stay with the Newberrys at Castel Casteggio, this
latter place, the summer retreat of the Newberrys,
became the one spot on earth for Mr. Peter Spillikins.
Naturally, therefore, Mr. Spillikins
was presently transported to the seventh heaven when
in due course of time he received a note which said,
“We shall be so pleased if you can come out and
spend a week or two with us here. We will send
the car down to the Thursday train to meet you.
We live here in the simplest fashion possible; in fact,
as Mr. Newberry says, we are just roughing it, but
I am sure you don’t mind for a change.
Dulphemia is with us, but we are quite a small party.”
The note was signed “Margaret
Newberry” and was written on heavy cream paper
with a silver monogram such as people use when roughing
it.
The Newberrys, like everybody else,
went away from town in the summertime. Mr. Newberry
being still in business, after a fashion, it would
not have looked well for him to remain in town throughout
the year. It would have created a bad impression
on the market as to how much he was making.
In fact, in the early summer everybody
went out of town. The few who ever revisited
the place in August reported that they hadn’t
seen a soul on the street.
It was a sort of longing for the simple
life, for nature, that came over everybody. Some
people sought it at the seaside, where nature had
thrown out her broad plank walks and her long piers
and her vaudeville shows. Others sought it in
the heart of the country, where nature had spread
her oiled motor roads and her wayside inns. Others,
like the Newberrys, preferred to “rough it”
in country residences of their own.
Some of the people, as already said,
went for business reasons, to avoid the suspicion
of having to work all the year round. Others went
to Europe to avoid the reproach of living always in
America. Others, perhaps most people, went for
medical reasons, being sent away by their doctors.
Not that they were ill; but the doctors of Plutoria
Avenue, such as Doctor Slyder, always preferred to
send all their patients out of town during the summer
months. No well-to-do doctor cares to be bothered
with them. And of course patients, even when they
are anxious to go anywhere on their own account, much
prefer to be sent there by their doctor.
“My dear madam,” Dr. Slyder
would say to a lady who, as he knew, was most anxious
to go to Virginia, “there’s really nothing
I can do for you.” Here he spoke the truth.
“It’s not a case of treatment. It’s
simply a matter of dropping everything and going away.
Now why don’t you go for a month or two to some
quiet place, where you will simply do nothing?”
(She never, as he knew, did anything, anyway.) “What
do you say to Hot Springs, Virginia? absolute
quiet, good golf, not a soul there, plenty of tennis.”
Or else he would say, “My dear madam, you’re
simply worn out. Why don’t you just
drop everything and go to Canada? perfectly
quiet, not a soul there, and, I believe, nowadays
quite fashionable.”
Thus, after all the patients had been
sent away, Dr. Slyder and his colleagues of Plutoria
Avenue managed to slip away themselves for a month
or two, heading straight for Paris and Vienna.
There they were able, so they said, to keep in touch
with what continental doctors were doing. They
probably were.
Now it so happened that both the parents
of Miss Dulphemia Rasselyer-Brown had been sent out
of town in this fashion. Mrs. Rasselyer-Brown’s
distressing experience with Yahi-Bahi had left her
in a condition in which she was utterly fit for nothing,
except to go on a Mediterranean cruise, with about
eighty other people also fit for nothing.
Mr. Rasselyer-Brown himself, though
never exactly an invalid, had confessed that after
all the fuss of the Yahi-Bahi business he needed bracing
up, needed putting into shape, and had put himself
into Dr. Slyder’s hands. The doctor had
examined him, questioned him searchingly as to what
he drank, and ended by prescribing port wine to be
taken firmly and unflinchingly during the evening,
and for the daytime, at any moment of exhaustion,
a light cordial such as rye whiskey, or rum and Vichy
water. In addition to which Dr. Slyder had recommended
Mr. Rasselyer-Brown to leave town.
“Why don’t you go down
to Nagahakett on the Atlantic?” he said.
“Is that in Maine?” said Mr. Rasselyer-Brown
in horror.
“Oh, dear me, no!” answered
the doctor reassuringly. “It’s in
New Brunswick, Canada; excellent place, most liberal
licence laws; first class cuisine and a bar in the
hotel. No tourists, no golf, too cold to swim just
the place to enjoy oneself.”
So Mr. Rasselyer-Brown had gone away
also, and as a result Dulphemia Rasselyer-Brown, at
the particular moment of which we speak, was declared
by the Boudoir and Society column of the Plutorian
Daily Dollar to be staying with Mr. and Mrs. Newberry
at their charming retreat, Castel Casteggio.
The Newberrys belonged to the class
of people whose one aim in the summer is to lead the
simple life. Mr. Newberry himself said that his
one idea of a vacation was to get right out into the
bush, and put on old clothes, and just eat when he
felt like it.
This was why he had built Castel Casteggio.
It stood about forty miles from the city, out among
the wooded hills on the shore of a little lake.
Except for the fifteen or twenty residences like it
that dotted the sides of the lake it was entirely
isolated. The only way to reach it was by the
motor road that wound its way among leafy hills from
the railway station fifteen miles away. Every
foot of the road was private property, as all nature
ought to be. The whole country about Castel Casteggio
was absolutely primeval, or at any rate as primeval
as Scotch gardeners and French landscape artists could
make it. The lake itself lay like a sparkling
gem from nature’s workshop except
that they had raised the level of it ten feet, stone-banked
the sides, cleared out the brush, and put a motor
road round it. Beyond that it was pure nature.
Castel Casteggio itself, a beautiful
house of white brick with sweeping piazzas and glittering
conservatories, standing among great trees with rolling
lawns broken with flower-beds as the ground sloped
to the lake, was perhaps the most beautiful house
of all; at any rate, it was an ideal spot to wear
old clothes in, to dine early (at 7.30) and, except
for tennis parties, motor-boat parties, lawn teas,
and golf, to live absolutely to oneself.
It should be explained that the house
was not called Castel Casteggio because the Newberrys
were Italian: they were not; nor because they
owned estates in Italy: they didn’t nor
had travelled there: they hadn’t.
Indeed, for a time they had thought of giving it a
Welsh name, or a Scotch. But the beautiful country
residence of the Asterisk-Thomsons had stood close
by in the same primeval country was already called
Penny-gw-rydd, and the woodland retreat of the Hyphen-Joneses
just across the little lake was called Strathythan-na-Clee,
and the charming chalet of the Wilson-Smiths was called
Yodel-Dudel; so it seemed fairer to select an Italian
name.
“By Jove! Miss Furlong,
how awfully good of you to come down!”
The little suburban train two
cars only, both first class, for the train went nowhere
except out into the primeval wilderness had
drawn up at the diminutive roadside station.
Mr. Spillikins had alighted, and there was Miss Philippa
Furlong sitting behind the chauffeur in the Newberrys’
motor. She was looking as beautiful as only the
younger sister of a High Church episcopalian rector
can look, dressed in white, the colour of saintliness,
on a beautiful morning in July.
There was no doubt about Philippa
Furlong. Her beauty was of that peculiar and
almost sacred kind found only in the immediate neighbourhood
of the High Church clergy. It was admitted by
all who envied or admired her that she could enter
a church more gracefully, move more swimmingly up
the aisle, and pray better than any girl on Plutoria
Avenue.
Mr. Spillikins, as he gazed at her
in her white summer dress and wide picture hat, with
her parasol nodding above her head, realized that
after all, religion, as embodied in the younger sisters
of the High Church clergy, fills a great place in
the world.
“By Jove!” he repeated, “how awfully
good of you!”
“Not a bit,” said Philippa.
“Hop in. Dulphemia was coming, but she
couldn’t. Is that all you have with you?”
The last remark was ironical.
It referred to the two quite large steamer trunks
of Mr. Spillikins that were being loaded, together
with his suit-case, tennis racket, and golf kit, on
to the fore part of the motor. Mr. Spillikins,
as a young man of social experience, had roughed it
before. He knew what a lot of clothes one needs
for it.
So the motor sped away, and went bowling
noiselessly over the oiled road, and turning corners
where the green boughs of the great trees almost swished
in their faces, and rounding and twisting among curves
of the hills as it carried Spillikins and Philippa
away from the lower domain or ordinary fields and
farms up into the enchanted country of private property
and the magic castles of Casteggio and Penny-gw-rydd.
Mr. Spillikins must have assured Philippa
at least a dozen times in starting off how awfully
good it was of her to come down in the motor; and
he was so pleased at her coming to meet him that Philippa
never even hinted that the truth was that she had
expected somebody else on the same train. For
to a girl brought up in the principles of the High
Church the truth is a very sacred thing. She keeps
it to herself.
And naturally, with such a sympathetic
listener, it was not long before Mr. Spillikins had
begun to talk of Dulphemia and his hopes.
“I don’t know whether
she really cares for me or not,” said Mr. Spillikins,
“but I have pretty good hope. The other
day, or at least about two months ago, at one of the
Yahi-Bahi meetings you were not in that,
were you?” he said breaking off.
“Only just at the beginning,”
said Philippa; “we went to Bermuda.”
“Oh yes, I remember. Do
you know, I thought it pretty rough at the end, especially
on Ram Spudd. I liked him. I sent him two
pounds of tobacco to the penitentiary last week; you
can get it in to them, you know, if you know how.”
“But what were you going to say?” asked
Philippa.
“Oh yes,” said Mr. Spillikins.
And he realized that he had actually drifted off the
topic of Dulphemia, a thing that had never happened
to him before. “I was going to say that
at one of the meetings, you know, I asked her if I
might call her Dulphemia.”
“And what did she say to that?” asked
Philippa.
“She said she didn’t care
what I called her. So I think that looks pretty
good, don’t you?”
“Awfully good,” said Philippa.
“And a little after that I took
her slippers home from the Charity Ball at the Grand
Palaver. Archie Jones took her home herself in
his car, but I took her slippers. She’d
forgotten them. I thought that a pretty good
sign, wasn’t it? You wouldn’t let
a chap carry round your slippers unless you knew him
pretty well, would you, Miss Philippa?”
“Oh no, nobody would,”
said Philippa. This of course, was a standing
principle of the Anglican Church.
“And a little after that Dulphemia
and Charlie Mostyn and I were walking to Mrs. Buncomhearst’s
musical, and we’d only just started along the
street, when she stopped and sent me back for her music me,
mind you, not Charlie. That seems to me awfully
significant.”
“It seems to speak volumes,” said Philippa.
“Doesn’t it?” said
Mr. Spillikins. “You don’t mind my
telling you all about this Miss Philippa?” he
added.
Incidentally Mr. Spillikins felt that
it was all right to call her Miss Philippa, because
she had a sister who was really Miss Furlong, so it
would have been quite wrong, as Mr. Spillikins realized,
to have called Miss Philippa by her surname.
In any case, the beauty of the morning was against
it.
“I don’t mind a bit,”
said Philippa. “I think it’s awfully
nice of you to tell me about it.”
She didn’t add that she knew all about it already.
“You see,” said Mr. Spillikins,
“you’re so awfully sympathetic. It
makes it so easy to talk to you. With other girls,
especially with clever ones, even with Dulphemia.
I often feel a perfect jackass beside them. But
I don t feel that way with you at all.”
“Don’t you really?”
said Philippa, but the honest admiration in Mr. Spillikin’s
protruding blue eyes forbade a sarcastic answer.
“By Jove!” said Mr. Spillikins
presently, with complete irrelevance, “I hope
you don’t mind my saying it, but you look awfully
well in white stunning.” He
felt that a man who was affianced, or practically
so, was allowed the smaller liberty of paying honest
compliments.
“Oh, this old thing,”
laughed Philippa, with a contemptuous shake of her
dress. “But up here, you know, we just wear
anything.” She didn’t say that this
old thing was only two weeks old and had cost eighty
dollars, or the equivalent of one person’s pew
rent at St. Asaph’s for six months.
And after that they had only time,
so it seemed to Mr. Spillikins, for two or three remarks,
and he had scarcely had leisure to reflect what a
charming girl Philippa had grown to be since she went
to Bermuda the effect, no doubt, of the
climate of those fortunate islands when
quite suddenly they rounded a curve into an avenue
of nodding trees, and there were the great lawn and
wide piazzas and the conservatories of Castel Casteggio
right in front of them.
“Here we are,” said Philippa,
“and there’s Mr. Newberry out on the lawn.”
“Now, here,” Mr. Newberry
was saying a little later, waving his hand, “is
where you get what I think the finest view of the place.”
He was standing at the corner of the
lawn where it sloped, dotted with great trees, to
the banks of the little lake, and was showing Mr.
Spillikins the beauties of Castel Casteggio.
Mr. Newberry wore on his short circular
person the summer costume of a man taking his ease
and careless of dress: plain white flannel trousers,
not worth more than six dollars a leg, an ordinary
white silk shirt with a rolled collar, that couldn’t
have cost more than fifteen dollars, and on his head
an ordinary Panama hat, say forty dollars.
“By Jove!” said Mr. Spillikins,
as he looked about him at the house and the beautiful
lawn with its great trees, “it’s a lovely
place.”
“Isn’t it?” said
Mr. Newberry. “But you ought to have seen
it when I took hold of it. To make the motor
road alone I had to dynamite out about a hundred yards
of rock, and then I fetched up cement, tons and tons
of it, and boulders to buttress the embankment.”
“Did you really!” said
Mr. Spillikins, looking at Mr. Newberry with great
respect.
“Yes, and even that was nothing
to the house itself. Do you know, I had to go
at least forty feet for the foundations. First
I went through about twenty feet of loose clay, after
that I struck sand, and I’d no sooner got through
that than, by George! I landed in eight feet of
water. I had to pump it out; I think I took out
a thousand gallons before I got clear down to the
rock. Then I took my solid steel beams in fifty-foot
lengths,” here Mr. Newberry imitated with his
arms the action of a man setting up a steel beam,
“and set them upright and bolted them on the
rock. After that I threw my steel girders across,
clapped on my roof rafters, all steel, in sixty-foot
pieces, and then just held it easily, just supported
it a bit, and let it sink gradually to its place.”
Mr. Newberry illustrated with his
two arms the action of a huge house being allowed
to sink slowly to a firm rest.
“You don’t say so!”
said Mr. Spillikins, lost in amazement at the wonderful
physical strength that Mr. Newberry must have.
“Excuse me just a minute,”
broke off Mr. Newberry, “while I smooth out
the gravel where you’re standing. You’ve
rather disturbed it, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, I’m awfully sorry,” said Mr.
Spillikins.
“Oh, not at all, not at all,”
said his host. “I don’t mind in the
least. It’s only on account of McAlister.”
“Who?” asked Mr. Spillikins.
“My gardener. He doesn’t
care to have us walk on the gravel paths. It
scuffs up the gravel so. But sometimes one forgets.”
It should be said here, for the sake
of clearness, that one of the chief glories of Castel
Casteggio lay in its servants. All of them, it
goes without saying, had been brought from Great Britain.
The comfort they gave to Mr. and Mrs. Newberry was
unspeakable. In fact, as they themselves admitted,
servants of the kind are simply not to be found in
America.
“Our Scotch gardener,”
Mrs. Newberry always explained “is a perfect
character. I don’t know how we could get
another like him. Do you know, my dear, he simply
won’t allow us to pick the roses; and if any
of us walk across the grass he is furious. And
he positively refuses to let us use the vegetables.
He told me quite plainly that if we took any of his
young peas or his early cucumbers he would leave.
We are to have them later on when he’s finished
growing them.”
“How delightful it is to have
servants of that sort,” the lady addressed would
murmur; “so devoted and so different from servants
on this side of the water. Just imagine, my dear,
my chauffeur, when I was in Colorado, actually threatened
to leave me merely because I wanted to reduce his
wages. I think it’s these wretched labour
unions.”
“I’m sure it is.
Of course we have trouble with McAlister at times,
but he’s always very reasonable when we put
things in the right light. Last week, for example,
I was afraid that we had gone too far with him.
He is always accustomed to have a quart of beer every
morning at half-past ten the maids are
told to bring it out to him, and after that he goes
to sleep in the little arbour beside the tulip bed.
And the other day when he went there he found that
one of our guests who hadn’t been told, was
actually sitting in there reading. Of course he
was furious. I was afraid for the moment
that he would give notice on the spot.”
“What would you have done?”
“Positively, my dear, I don’t
know. But we explained to him at once that it
was only an accident and that the person hadn’t
known and that of course it wouldn’t occur again.
After that he was softened a little, but he went off
muttering to himself, and that evening he dug up all
the new tulips and threw them over the fence.
We saw him do it, but we didn’t dare say anything.”
“Oh no,” echoed the other
lady; “if you had you might have lost him.”
“Exactly. And I don’t
think we could possibly get another man like him;
at least, not on this side of the water.”
“But come,” said Mr. Newberry,
after he had finished adjusting the gravel with his
foot, “there are Mrs. Newberry and the girls
on the verandah. Let’s go and join them.”
A few minutes later Mr. Spillikins
was talking with Mrs. Newberry and Dulphemia Rasselyer-Brown,
and telling Mrs. Newberry what a beautiful house she
had. Beside them stood Philippa Furlong, and she
had her arm around Dulphemia’s waist; and the
picture that they thus made, with their heads close
together, Dulphemia’s hair being golden and
Philippa’s chestnut-brown, was such that Mr.
Spillikins had no eyes for Mrs. Newberry nor for Castel
Casteggio nor for anything. So much so that he
practically didn’t see at all the little girl
in green that stood unobtrusively on the further side
of Mrs. Newberry. Indeed, though somebody had
murmured her name in introduction, he couldn’t
have repeated it if asked two minutes afterwards.
His eyes and his mind were elsewhere.
But hers were not.
For the Little Girl in Green looked
at Mr. Spillikins with wide eyes, and when she looked
at him she saw all at once such wonderful things about
him as nobody had ever seen before.
For she could see from the poise of
his head how awfully clever he was; and from the way
he stood with his hands in his side pockets she could
see how manly and brave he must be; and of course there
was firmness and strength written all over him.
In short, she saw as she looked such a Peter Spillikins
as truly never existed, or could exist or
at least such a Peter Spillikins as no one else in
the world had ever suspected before.
All in a moment she was ever so glad
that she accepted Mrs. Newberry’s invitation
to Castel Casteggio and hadn’t been afraid to
come. For the Little Girl in Green, whose Christian
name was Norah, was only what is called a poor relation
of Mrs. Newberry, and her father was a person of no
account whatever, who didn’t belong to the Mausoleum
Club or to any other club, and who lived, with Norah,
on a street that nobody who was anybody lived upon.
Norah had been asked up a few days before out of the
City to give her air which is the only thing
that can be safely and freely given to poor relations.
Thus she had arrived at Castel Casteggio with one
diminutive trunk, so small and shabby that even the
servants who carried it upstairs were ashamed of it.
In it were a pair of brand new tennis shoes (at ninety
cents reduced to seventy-five) and a white dress of
the kind that is called “almost evening,”
and such few other things as poor relations might
bring with fear and trembling to join in the simple
rusticity of the rich.
Thus stood Norah looking at Mr. Spillikins.
As for him, such is the contrariety
of human things, he had no eyes for her at all.
“What a perfectly charming house
this is,” Mr. Spillikins was saying. He
always said this on such occasions, but it seemed to
the Little Girl in Green that he spoke with wonderful
social ease.
“I am so glad you think so,”
said Mrs. Newberry (this was what she always answered);
“you’ve no idea what work it has been.
This year we put in all this new glass in the east
conservatory, over a thousand panes. Such a tremendous
business!”
“I was just telling Mr. Spillikins,”
said Mr. Newberry, “about the work we had blasting
out the motor road. You can see the gap where
it lies better from here, I think, Spillikins.
I must have exploded a ton and a half of dynamite
on it.”
“By Jove!” said Mr. Spillikins;
“it must be dangerous work eh? I wonder
you aren’t afraid of it.”
“One simply gets used to it,
that’s all,” said Newberry, shrugging his
shoulders; “but of course it is dangerous.
I blew up two Italians on the last job.”
He paused a minute and added musingly, “Hardy
fellows, the Italians. I prefer them to any other
people for blasting.”
“Did you blow them up yourself?” asked
Mr. Spillikins.
“I wasn’t here,”
answered Mr. Newberry. “In fact, I never
care to be here when I’m blasting. We go
to town. But I had to foot the bill for them
all the same. Quite right, too. The risk,
of course, was mine, not theirs; that’s the
law, you know. They cost me two thousand each.”
“But come,” said Mrs.
Newberry, “I think we must go and dress for
dinner. Franklin will be frightfully put out if
we’re late. Franklin is our butler,”
she went on, seeing that Mr. Spillikins didn’t
understand the reference, “and as we brought
him out from England we have to be rather careful.
With a good man like Franklin one is always so afraid
of losing him and after last night we have
to be doubly careful.”
“Why last night?” asked Mr. Spillikins.
“Oh, it wasn’t much,”
said Mrs. Newberry. “In fact, it was merely
an accident. Only it just chanced that at dinner,
quite late in the meal, when we had had nearly everything
(we dine very simply here, Mr. Spillikins), Mr. Newberry,
who was thirsty and who wasn’t really thinking
what he was saying, asked Franklin to give him a glass
of hock. Franklin said at once, ’I’m
very sorry, sir, I don’t care to serve hock
after the entree!’”
“And of course he was right,”
said Dulphemia with emphasis. “Exactly;
he was perfectly right. They know, you know.
We were afraid that there might be trouble, but Mr.
Newberry went and saw Franklin afterwards and he behaved
very well over it. But suppose we go and dress?
It’s half-past six already and we’ve only
an hour.”
In this congenial company Mr. Spillikins
spent the next three days.
Life at Castel Casteggio, as the Newberrys
loved to explain, was conducted on the very simplest
plan. Early breakfast, country fashion, at nine
o’clock; after that nothing to eat till lunch,
unless one cared to have lemonade or bottled ale sent
out with a biscuit or a macaroon to the tennis court.
Lunch itself was a perfectly plain midday meal, lasting
till about 1.30, and consisting simply of cold meats
(say four kinds) and salads, with perhaps a made dish
or two, and, for anybody who cared for it, a hot steak
or a chop, or both. After that one had coffee
and cigarettes in the shade of the piazza and waited
for afternoon tea. This latter was served at
a wicker table in any part of the grounds that the
gardener was not at that moment clipping, trimming,
or otherwise using. Afternoon tea being over,
one rested or walked on the lawn till it was time
to dress for dinner.
This simple routine was broken only
by irruptions of people in motors or motor boats from
Penny-gw-rydd or Yodel-Dudel Chalet.
The whole thing, from the point of
view of Mr. Spillikins or Dulphemia or Philippa, represented
rusticity itself.
To the Little Girl in Green it seemed
as brilliant as the Court of Versailles; especially
evening dinner a plain home meal as the
others thought it when she had four glasses
to drink out of and used to wonder over such problems
as whether you were supposed, when Franklin poured
out wine, to tell him to stop or to wait till he stopped
without being told to stop; and other similar mysteries,
such as many people before and after have meditated
upon.
During all this time Mr. Spillikins
was nerving himself to propose to Dulphemia Rasselyer-Brown.
In fact, he spent part of his time walking up and
down under the trees with Philippa Furlong and discussing
with her the proposal that he meant to make, together
with such topics as marriage in general and his own
unworthiness.
He might have waited indefinitely
had he not learned, on the third day of his visit,
that Dulphemia was to go away in the morning to join
her father at Nagahakett.
That evening he found the necessary
nerve to speak, and the proposal in almost every aspect
of it was most successful.
“By Jove!” Spillikins
said to Philippa Furlong next morning, in explaining
what had happened, “she was awfully nice about
it. I think she must have guessed, in a way,
don’t you, what I was going to say? But
at any rate she was awfully nice let me
say everything I wanted, and when I explained what
a fool I was, she said she didn’t think I was
half such a fool as people thought me. But it’s
all right. It turns out that she isn’t
thinking of getting married. I asked her if I
might always go on thinking of her, and she said I
might.”
And that morning when Dulphemia was
carried off in the motor to the station, Mr. Spillikins,
without exactly being aware how he had done it, had
somehow transferred himself to Philippa.
“Isn’t she a splendid
girl!” he said at least ten times a day to Norah,
the Little Girl in Green. And Norah always agreed,
because she really thought Philippa a perfectly wonderful
creature. There is no doubt that, but for a slight
shift of circumstances, Mr. Spillikins would have
proposed to Miss Furlong. Indeed, he spent a good
part of his time rehearsing little speeches that began,
“Of course I know I’m an awful ass in
a way,” or, “Of course I know that I’m
not at all the sort of fellow,” and so on.
But not one of them ever was delivered.
For it so happened that on the Thursday,
one week after Mr. Spillikins’s arrival, Philippa
went again to the station in the motor. And when
she came back there was another passenger with her,
a tall young man in tweed, and they both began calling
out to the Newberrys from a distance of at least a
hundred yards.
And both the Newberrys suddenly exclaimed,
“Why, it’s Tom!” and rushed off
to meet the motor. And there was such a laughing
and jubilation as the two descended and carried Tom’s
valises to the verandah, that Mr. Spillikins felt
as suddenly and completely out of it as the Little
Girl in Green herself especially as his
ear had caught, among the first things said, the words,
“Congratulate us, Mrs. Newberry, we’re
engaged.”
After which Mr. Spillikins had the
pleasure of sitting and listening while it was explained
in wicker chairs on the verandah, that Philippa and
Tom had been engaged already for ever so long in
fact, nearly two weeks, only they had agreed not to
say a word to anybody till Tom had gone to North Carolina
and back, to see his people.
And as to who Tom was, or what was
the relation between Tom and the Newberrys, Mr. Spillikins
neither knew or cared; nor did it interest him in
the least that Philippa had met Tom in Bermuda, and
that she hadn’t known that he even knew the
Newberry’s nor any other of the exuberant disclosures
of the moment. In fact, if there was any one
period rather than another when Mr. Spillikins felt
corroborated in his private view of himself, it was
at this moment.
So the next day Tom and Philippa vanished together.
“We shall be quite a small party
now,” said Mrs. Newberry; “in fact, quite
by ourselves till Mrs. Everleigh comes, and she won’t
be here for a fortnight.”
At which the heart of the Little Girl
in Green was glad, because she had been afraid that
other girls might be coming, whereas she knew that
Mrs. Everleigh was a widow with four sons and must
be ever so old, past forty.
The next few days were spent by Mr.
Spillikins almost entirely in the society of Norah.
He thought them on the whole rather pleasant days,
but slow. To her they were an uninterrupted dream
of happiness never to be forgotten.
The Newberrys left them to themselves;
not with any intent; it was merely that they were
perpetually busy walking about the grounds of Castel
Casteggio, blowing up things with dynamite, throwing
steel bridges over gullies, and hoisting heavy timber
with derricks. Nor were they to blame for it.
For it had not always been theirs to command dynamite
and control the forces of nature. There had been
a time, now long ago, when the two Newberrys had lived,
both of them, on twenty dollars a week, and Mrs. Newberry
had made her own dresses, and Mr. Newberry had spent
vigorous evenings in making hand-made shelves for
their sitting-room. That was long ago, and since
then Mr. Newberry, like many other people of those
earlier days, had risen to wealth and Castel Casteggio,
while others, like Norah’s father, had stayed
just where they were.
So the Newberrys left Peter and Norah
to themselves all day. Even after dinner, in
the evening, Mr. Newberry was very apt to call to his
wife in the dusk from some distant corner of the lawn:
“Margaret, come over here and
tell me if you don’t think we might cut down
this elm, tear the stump out by the roots, and throw
it into the ravine.”
And the answer was, “One minute,
Edward; just wait till I get a wrap.”
Before they came back, the dusk had
grown to darkness, and they had redynamited half the
estate.
During all of which time Mr. Spillikins
sat with Norah on the piazza. He talked and she
listened. He told her, for instance, all about
his terrific experiences in the oil business, and
about his exciting career at college; or presently
they went indoors and Norah played the piano and Mr.
Spillikins sat and smoked and listened. In such
a house as the Newberry’s, where dynamite and
the greater explosives were everyday matters, a little
thing like the use of tobacco in the drawing-room
didn’t count. As for the music, “Go
right ahead,” said Mr. Spillikins; “I’m
not musical, but I don’t mind music a bit.”
In the daytime they played tennis.
There was a court at one end of the lawn beneath the
trees, all chequered with sunlight and mingled shadow;
very beautiful, Norah thought, though Mr. Spillikins
explained that the spotted light put him off his game.
In fact, it was owing entirely to this bad light that
Mr. Spillikins’s fast drives, wonderful though
they were, somehow never got inside the service court.
Norah, of course, thought Mr. Spillikins
a wonderful player. She was glad in
fact, it suited them both when he beat her
six to nothing. She didn’t know and didn’t
care that there was no one else in the world that
Mr. Spillikins could beat like that. Once he even
said to her.
“By Gad! you don’t play
half a bad game, you know. I think you know,
with practice you’d come on quite a lot.”
After that the games were understood
to be more or less in the form of lessons, which put
Mr. Spillikins on a pedestal of superiority, and allowed
any bad strokes on his part to be viewed as a form
of indulgence.
Also, as the tennis was viewed in
this light, it was Norah’s part to pick up the
balls at the net and throw them back to Mr. Spillikins.
He let her do this, not from rudeness, for it wasn’t
in him, but because in such a primeval place as Castel
Casteggio the natural primitive relation of the sexes
is bound to reassert itself.
But of love Mr. Spillikins never thought.
He had viewed it so eagerly and so often from a distance
that when it stood here modestly at his very elbow
he did not recognize its presence. His mind had
been fashioned, as it were, to connect love with something
stunning and sensational, with Easter hats and harem
skirts and the luxurious consciousness of the unattainable.
Even at that, there is no knowing
what might have happened. Tennis, in the chequered
light of sun and shadow cast by summer leaves, is a
dangerous game. There came a day when they were
standing one each side of the net and Mr. Spillikins
was explaining to Norah the proper way to hold a racquet
so as to be able to give those magnificent backhand
sweeps of his, by which he generally drove the ball
halfway to the lake; and explaining this involved
putting his hand right over Norah’s on the handle
of the racquet, so that for just half a second her
hand was clasped tight in his; and if that half-second
had been lengthened out into a whole second it is
quite possible that what was already subconscious
in his mind would have broken its way triumphantly
to the surface, and Norah’s hand would have
stayed in his how willingly ! for
the rest of their two lives.
But just at that moment Mr. Spillikins
looked up, and he said in quite an altered tone.
“By Jove! who’s that awfully
good-looking woman getting out of the motor?”
And their hands unclasped. Norah
looked over towards the house and said:
“Why, it’s Mrs. Everleigh.
I thought she wasn’t coming for another week.”
“I say,” said Mr. Spillikins,
straining his short sight to the uttermost, “what
perfectly wonderful golden hair, eh?” “Why,
it’s ” Norah began, and then
she stopped. It didn’t seem right to explain
that Mrs. Everleigh’s hair was dyed. “And
who’s that tall chap standing beside her?”
said Mr. Spillikins.
“I think it’s Captain
Cormorant, but I don’t think he’s going
to stay. He’s only brought her up in the
motor from town.” “By Jove, how good
of him!” said Spillikins; and this sentiment
in regard to Captain Cormorant, though he didn’t
know it, was to become a keynote of his existence.
“I didn’t know she was
coming so soon,” said Norah, and there was weariness
already in her heart. Certainly she didn’t
know it; still less did she know, or anyone else,
that the reason of Mrs. Everleigh’s coming was
because Mr. Spillikins was there. She came with
a set purpose, and she sent Captain Cormorant directly
back in the motor because she didn’t want him
on the premises.
“Oughtn’t we to go up to the house?”
said Norah.
“All right,” said Mr. Spillikins with
great alacrity, “let’s go.”
Now as this story began with the information
that Mrs. Everleigh is at present Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins,
there is no need to pursue in detail the stages of
Mr. Spillikins’s wooing. Its course was
swift and happy. Mr. Spillikins, having seen
the back of Mrs. Everleigh’s head, had decided
instantly that she was the most beautiful woman in
the world; and that impression is not easily corrected
in the half-light of a shaded drawing-room; nor across
a dinner-table lighted only with candles with deep
red shades; nor even in the daytime through a veil.
In any case, it is only fair to state that if Mrs.
Everleigh was not and is not a singularly beautiful
woman, Mr. Spillikins still doesn’t know it.
And in point of attraction the homage of such experts
as Captain Cormorant and Lieutenant Hawk speaks for
itself.
So the course of Mr. Spillikins’s
love, for love it must have been, ran swiftly to its
goal. Each stage of it was duly marked by his
comments to Norah.
“She is a splendid woman,”
he said, “so sympathetic. She always seems
to know just what one’s going to say.”
So she did, for she was making him say it.
“By Jove!” he said a day
later, “Mrs. Everleigh’s an awfully fine
woman, isn’t she? I was telling her about
my having been in the oil business for a little while,
and she thinks that I’d really be awfully good
in money things. She said she wished she had me
to manage her money for her.”
This also was quite true, except that
Mrs. Everleigh had not made it quite clear that the
management of her money was of the form generally
known as deficit financing. In fact, her money
was, very crudely stated, nonexistent, and it needed
a lot of management.
A day or two later Mr. Spillikins
was saying, “I think Mrs. Everleigh must have
had great sorrow, don’t you? Yesterday she
was showing me a photograph of her little boy she
has a little boy you know ”
“Yes, I know,” said Norah.
She didn’t add that she knew that Mrs. Everleigh
had four.
“ and she was saying
how awfully rough it is having him always away from
her at Dr. Something’s academy where he is.”
And very soon after that Mr. Spillikins
was saying, with quite a quaver in his voice,
“By Jove! yes, I’m awfully
lucky; I never thought for a moment that she’d
have me, you know a woman like her, with
so much attention and everything. I can’t
imagine what she sees in me.”
Which was just as well.
And then Mr. Spillikins checked himself,
for he noticed this was on the verandah
in the morning that Norah had a hat and
jacket on and that the motor was rolling towards the
door.
“I say,” he said, “are you going
away?”
“Yes, didn’t you know?”
Norah said. “I thought you heard them speaking
of it at dinner last night. I have to go home;
father’s alone, you know.”
“Oh, I’m awfully sorry,”
said Mr. Spillikins; “we shan’t have any
more tennis.”
“Goodbye,” said Norah,
and as she said it and put out her hand there were
tears brimming up into her eyes. But Mr. Spillikins,
being short of sight, didn’t see them.
“Goodbye,” he said.
Then as the motor carried her away
he stood for a moment in a sort of reverie. Perhaps
certain things that might have been rose unformed and
inarticulate before his mind. And then, a voice
called from the drawing-room within, in a measured
and assured tone,
“Peter, darling, where are you?”
“Coming,” cried Mr. Spillikins, and he
came.
On the second day of the engagement
Mrs. Everleigh showed to Peter a little photograph
in a brooch.
“This is Gib, my second little boy,” she
said.
Mr. Spillikins started to say, “I
didn’t know ” and then checked
himself and said, “By Gad! what a fine-looking
little chap, eh? I’m awfully fond of boys.”
“Dear little fellow, isn’t
he?” said Mrs. Everleigh. “He’s
really rather taller than that now, because this picture
was taken a little while ago.”
And the next day she said, “This
is Willie, my third boy,” and on the day after
that she said, “This is Sib, my youngest boy;
I’m sure you’ll love him.”
“I’m sure I shall,”
said Mr. Spillikins. He loved him already for
being the youngest.
And so in the fulness of time nor
was it so very full either, in fact, only about five
weeks Peter Spillikins and Mrs. Everleigh
were married in St. Asaph’s Church on Plutoria
Avenue. And the wedding was one of the most beautiful
and sumptuous of the weddings of the September season.
There were flowers, and bridesmaids in long veils,
and tall ushers in frock-coats, and awnings at the
church door, and strings of motors with wedding-favours
on imported chauffeurs, and all that goes to invest
marriage on Plutoria Avenue with its peculiar sacredness.
The face of the young rector, Mr. Fareforth Furlong,
wore the added saintliness that springs from a five-hundred
dollar fee. The whole town was there, or at least
everybody that was anybody; and if there was one person
absent, one who sat by herself in the darkened drawing-room
of a dull little house on a shabby street, who knew
or cared?
So after the ceremony the happy couple for
were they not so? left for New York.
There they spent their honeymoon. They had thought
of going it was Mr. Spillikins’s
idea to the coast of Maine. But Mrs.
Everleigh-Spillikins said that New York was much nicer,
so restful, whereas, as everyone knows, the coast
of Maine is frightfully noisy.
Moreover, it so happened that before
the Everleigh-Spillikinses had been more than four
or five days in New York the ship of Captain Cormorant
dropped anchor in the Hudson; and when the anchor of
that ship was once down it generally stayed there.
So the captain was able to take the Everleigh-Spillikinses
about in New York, and to give a tea for Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins
on the deck of his vessel so that she might meet the
officers, and another tea in a private room of a restaurant
on Fifth Avenue so that she might meet no one but himself.
And at this tea Captain Cormorant
said, among other things, “Did he kick up rough
at all when you told him about the money?”
And Mrs. Everleigh, now Mrs. Everleigh-Spillikins,
said, “Not he! I think he is actually pleased
to know that I haven’t any. Do you know,
Arthur, he’s really an awfully good fellow,”
and as she said it she moved her hand away from under
Captain Cormorant’s on the tea-table.
“I say,” said the Captain,
“don’t get sentimental over him.”
So that is how it is that the Everleigh-Spillikinses
came to reside on Plutoria Avenue in a beautiful stone
house, with a billiard-room in an extension on the
second floor. Through the windows of it one can
almost hear the click of the billiard balls, and a
voice saying, “Hold on, father, you had your
shot.”