“As to the government of this
city,” said Mr. Newberry, leaning back in a
leather armchair at the Mausoleum Club and lighting
a second cigar, “it’s rotten, that’s
all.”
“Absolutely rotten,” assented
Mr. Dick Overend, ringing the bell for a second whiskey
and soda.
“Corrupt,” said Mr. Newberry,
between two puffs of his cigar.
“Full of graft,” said
Mr. Overend, flicking his ashes into the grate.
“Crooked aldermen,” said Mr. Newberry.
“A bum city solicitor,”
said Mr. Overend, “and an infernal grafter for
treasurer.”
“Yes,” assented Mr. Newberry,
and then, leaning forwards in his chair and looking
carefully about the corridors of the club, he spoke
behind his hand and said, “And the mayor’s
the biggest grafter of the lot. And what’s
more,” he added, sinking his voice to a whisper,
“the time has come to speak out about it fearlessly.”
Mr. Overend nodded. “It’s a tyranny,”
he said.
“Worse than Russia,” rejoined Mr. Newberry.
They had been sitting in a quiet corner
of the club it was on a Sunday evening and
had fallen into talking, first of all, of the present
rottenness of the federal politics of the United States not
argumentatively or with any heat, but with the reflective
sadness that steals over an elderly man when he sits
in the leather armchair of a comfortable club smoking
a good cigar and musing on the decadence of the present
day. The rottenness of the federal government
didn’t anger them. It merely grieved them.
They could remember both
of them how different everything was when
they were young men just entering on life. When
Mr. Newberry and Mr. Dick Overend were young, men
went into congress from pure patriotism; there was
no such thing as graft or crookedness, as they both
admitted, in those days; and as for the United States
Senate here their voices were almost hushed
in awe why, when they were young, the United
States Senate
But no, neither of them could find
a phrase big enough for their meaning.
They merely repeated “as for
the United States Senate ” and then
shook their heads and took long drinks of whiskey
and soda.
Then, naturally, speaking of the rottenness
of the federal government had led them to talk of
the rottenness of the state legislature. How
different from the state legislatures that they remembered
as young men! Not merely different in the matter
of graft, but different, so Mr. Newberry said, in
the calibre of the men. He recalled how he had
been taken as a boy of twelve by his father to hear
a debate. He would never forget it. Giants!
he said, that was what they were. In fact, the
thing was more like a Witenagemot than a legislature.
He said he distinctly recalled a man, whose name he
didn’t recollect, speaking on a question he
didn’t just remember what, either for or against
he just couldn’t recall which; it thrilled him.
He would never forget it. It stayed in his memory
as if it were yesterday.
But as for the present legislature here
Mr. Dick Overend sadly nodded assent in advance to
what he knew was coming as for the present
legislature well Mr. Newberry
had had, he said, occasion to visit the state capital
a week before in connection with a railway bill that
he was trying to that is, that he was anxious
to in short in connection with a railway
bill, and when he looked about him at the men in the
legislature positively he felt ashamed;
he could put it no other way than that ashamed.
After which, from speaking of the
crookedness of the state government Mr. Newberry and
Mr. Dick Overend were led to talk of the crookedness
of the city government! And they both agreed,
as above, that things were worse than in Russia.
What secretly irritated them both most was that they
had lived and done business under this infernal corruption
for thirty or forty years and hadn’t noticed
it. They had been too busy.
The fact was that their conversation
reflected not so much their own original ideas as
a general wave of feeling that was passing over the
whole community.
There had come a moment quite
suddenly it seemed when it occurred to
everybody at the same time that the whole government
of the city was rotten. The word is a strong
one. But it is the one that was used. Look
at the aldermen, they said rotten!
Look at the city solicitor, rotten! And as for
the mayor himself phew!
The thing came like a wave. Everybody
felt it at once. People wondered how any sane,
intelligent community could tolerate the presence of
a set of corrupt scoundrels like the twenty aldermen
of the city. Their names, it was said, were simply
a byword throughout the United States for rank criminal
corruption. This was said so widely that everybody
started hunting through the daily papers to try to
find out who in blazes were aldermen, anyhow.
Twenty names are hard to remember, and as a matter
of fact, at the moment when this wave of feeling struck
the city, nobody knew or cared who were aldermen,
anyway.
To tell the truth, the aldermen had
been much the same persons for about fifteen or twenty
years. Some were in the produce business, others
were butchers, two were grocers, and all of them wore
blue checkered waistcoats and red ties and got up
at seven in the morning to attend the vegetable and
other markets. Nobody had ever really thought
about them that is to say, nobody on Plutoria
Avenue. Sometimes one saw a picture in the paper
and wondered for a moment who the person was; but
on looking more closely and noticing what was written
under it, one said, “Oh, I see, an alderman,”
and turned to something else.
“Whose funeral is that?”
a man would sometimes ask on Plutoria Avenue.
“Oh just one of the city aldermen,” a passerby
would answer hurriedly. “Oh I see, I beg
your pardon, I thought it might be somebody important.”
At which both laughed.
It was not just clear how and where
this movement of indignation had started. People
said that it was part of a new wave of public morality
that was sweeping over the entire United States.
Certainly it was being remarked in almost every section
of the country. Chicago newspapers were attributing
its origin to the new vigour and the fresh ideals of
the middle west. In Boston it was said to be due
to a revival of the grand old New England spirit.
In Philadelphia they called it the spirit of William
Penn. In the south it was said to be the reassertion
of southern chivalry making itself felt against the
greed and selfishness of the north, while in the north
they recognized it at once as a protest against the
sluggishness and ignorance of the south. In the
west they spoke of it as a revolt against the spirit
of the east and in the east they called it a reaction
against the lawlessness of the west. But everywhere
they hailed it as a new sign of the glorious unity
of the country.
If therefore Mr. Newberry and Mr.
Overend were found to be discussing the corrupt state
of their city they only shared in the national sentiments
of the moment. In fact in the same city hundreds
of other citizens, as disinterested as themselves,
were waking up to the realization of what was going
on. As soon as people began to look into the
condition of things in the city they were horrified
at what they found. It was discovered, for example,
that Alderman Schwefeldampf was an undertaker!
Think of it! In a city with a hundred and fifty
deaths a week, and sometimes even better, an undertaker
sat on the council! A city that was about to
expropriate land and to spend four hundred thousand
dollars for a new cemetery, had an undertaker on the
expropriation committee itself! And worse than
that! Alderman Undercutt was a butcher!
In a city that consumed a thousand tons of meat every
week! And Alderman O’Hooligan it
leaked out was an Irishman! Imagine
it! An Irishman sitting on the police committee
of the council in a city where thirty-eight and a
half out of every hundred policemen were Irish, either
by birth or parentage! The thing was monstrous.
So when Mr. Newberry said “It’s
worse than Russia!” he meant it, every word.
Now just as Mr. Newberry and Mr. Dick
Overend were finishing their discussion, the huge
bulky form of Mayor McGrath came ponderously past
them as they sat. He looked at them sideways out
of his eyes he had eyes like plums in a
mottled face and, being a born politician,
he knew by the very look of them that they were talking
of something that they had no business to be talking
about. But, being a politician he
merely said, “Good evening, gentlemen,”
without a sign of disturbance.
“Good evening, Mr. Mayor,”
said Mr. Newberry, rubbing his hands feebly together
and speaking in an ingratiating tone. There is
no more pitiable spectacle than an honest man caught
in the act of speaking boldly and fearlessly of the
evil-doer.
“Good evening, Mr. Mayor,”
echoed Mr. Dick Overend, also rubbing his hands; “warm
evening, is it not?”
The mayor gave no other answer than
that deep guttural grunt which is technically known
in municipal interviews as refusing to commit oneself.
“Did he hear?” whispered
Mr. Newberry as the mayor passed out of the club.
“I don’t care if he did,” whispered
Mr. Dick Overend.
Half an hour later Mayor McGrath entered
the premises of the Thomas Jefferson Club, which was
situated in the rear end of a saloon and pool room
far down in the town.
“Boys,” he said to Alderman
O’Hooligan and Alderman Gorfinkel, who were
playing freeze-out poker in a corner behind the pool
tables, “you want to let the boys know to keep
pretty dark and go easy. There’s a lot of
talk I don’t like about the elections going round
the town. Let the boys know that just for a while
the darker they keep the better.”
Whereupon the word was passed from
the Thomas Jefferson Club to the George Washington
Club and thence to the Eureka Club (coloured), and
to the Kossuth Club (Hungarian), and to various other
centres of civic patriotism in the lower parts of
the city. And forthwith such a darkness began
to spread over them that not even honest Diogenes with
his lantern could have penetrated their doings.
“If them stiffs wants to make
trouble,” said the president of the George Washington
Club to Mayor McGrath a day or two later, “they
won’t never know what they’ve bumped up
against.”
“Well,” said the heavy
mayor, speaking slowly and cautiously and eyeing his
henchman with quiet scrutiny, “you want to go
pretty easy now, I tell you.”
The look which the mayor directed
at his satellite was much the same glance that Morgan
the buccaneer might have given to one of his lieutenants
before throwing him overboard.
Meantime the wave of civic enthusiasm
as reflected in the conversations of Plutoria Avenue
grew stronger with every day.
“The thing is a scandal,”
said Mr. Lucullus Fyshe. “Why, these fellows
down at the city hall are simply a pack of rogues.
I had occasion to do some business there the other
day (it was connected with the assessment of our soda
factories) and do you know, I actually found that these
fellows take money!”
“I say!” said Mr. Peter
Spillikins, to whom he spoke, “I say! You
don’t say!”
“It’s a fact,” repeated
Mr. Fyshe. “They take money. I took
the assistant treasurer aside and I said, ‘I
want such and such done,’ and I slipped a fifty
dollar bill into his hand. And the fellow took
it, took it like a shot.”
“He took it!” gasped Mr. Spillikins.
“He did,” said Mr. Fyshe.
“There ought to be a criminal law for that sort
of thing.”
“I say!” exclaimed Mr.
Spillikins, “they ought to go to jail for a
thing like that.”
“And the infernal insolence
of them,” Mr. Fyshe continued. “I
went down the next day to see the deputy assistant
(about a thing connected with the same matter), told
him what I wanted and passed a fifty dollar bill across
the counter and the fellow fairly threw it back at
me, in a perfect rage. He refused it!”
“Refused it,” gasped Mr. Spillikins, “I
say!”
Conversations such as this filled
up the leisure and divided the business time of all
the best people in the city.
In the general gloomy outlook, however,
one bright spot was observable. The “wave”
had evidently come just at the opportune moment.
For not only were civic elections pending but just
at this juncture four or five questions of supreme
importance would be settled by the incoming council.
There was, for instance, the question of the expropriation
of the Traction Company (a matter involving many millions);
there was the decision as to the renewal of the franchise
of the Citizens’ Light Company a
vital question; there was also the four hundred thousand
dollar purchase of land for the new addition to the
cemetery, a matter that must be settled. And
it was felt, especially on Plutoria Avenue, to be
a splendid thing that the city was waking up, in the
moral sense, at the very time when these things were
under discussion. All the shareholders of the
Traction Company and the Citizens’ Light and
they included the very best, the most high-minded,
people in the city felt that what was needed
now was a great moral effort, to enable them to lift
the city up and carry it with them, or, if not all
of it, at any rate as much of it as they could.
“It’s a splendid movement!”
said Mr. Fyshe (he was a leading shareholder and director
of the Citizens’ Light), “what a splendid
thing to think that we shan’t have to deal for
our new franchise with a set of corrupt rapscallions
like these present aldermen. Do you know, Furlong,
that when we approached them first with a proposition
for a renewal for a hundred and fifty years they held
us up! Said it was too long! Imagine that!
A hundred and fifty years (only a century and a half)
too long for the franchise! They expect us to
install all our poles, string our wires, set up our
transformers in their streets and then perhaps at
the end of a hundred years find ourselves compelled
to sell out at a beggarly valuation. Of course
we knew what they wanted. They meant us to hand
them over fifty dollars each to stuff into their rascally
pockets.”
“Outrageous!” said Mr. Furlong.
“And the same thing with the
cemetery land deal,” went on Mr. Lucullus Fyshe.
“Do you realize that, if the movement hadn’t
come along and checked them, those scoundrels would
have given that rogue Schwefeldampf four hundred thousand
dollars for his fifty acres! Just think of it!”
“I don’t know,”
said Mr. Furlong with a thoughtful look upon his face,
“that four hundred thousand dollars is an excessive
price, in and of itself, for that amount of land.”
“Certainly not,” said
Mr. Fyshe, very quietly and decidedly, looking at
Mr. Furlong in a searching way as he spoke. “It
is not a high price. It seems to me, speaking
purely as an outsider, a very fair, reasonable price
for fifty acres of suburban land, if it were the right
land. If, for example, it were a case of making
an offer for that very fine stretch of land, about
twenty acres, is it not, which I believe your Corporation
owns on the other side of the cemetery, I should
say four hundred thousand is a most modest price.”
Mr. Furlong nodded his head reflectively.
“You had thought, had you not,
of offering it to the city?” said Mr. Fyshe.
“We did,” said Mr. Furlong,
“at a more or less nominal sum four
hundred thousand or whatever it might be. We felt
that for such a purpose, almost sacred as it were,
one would want as little bargaining as possible.”
“Oh, none at all,” assented Mr. Fyshe.
“Our feeling was,” went
on Mr. Furlong, “that if the city wanted our
land for the cemetery extension, it might have it at
its own figure four hundred thousand, half
a million, in fact at absolutely any price, from four
hundred thousand up, that they cared to put on it.
We didn’t regard it as a commercial transaction
at all. Our reward lay merely in the fact of
selling it to them.”
“Exactly,” said Mr. Fyshe,
“and of course your land was more desirable
from every point of view. Schwefeldampf’s
ground is encumbered with a growth of cypress and
evergreens and weeping willows which make it quite
unsuitable for an up-to-date cemetery; whereas yours,
as I remember it, is bright and open a
loose sandy soil with no trees and very little grass
to overcome.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Furlong.
“We thought, too, that our ground, having the
tanneries and the chemical factory along the farther
side of it, was an ideal place for ”
he paused, seeking a mode of expressing his thought.
“For the dead,” said Mr.
Fyshe, with becoming reverence. And after this
conversation Mr. Fyshe and Mr. Furlong senior understood
one another absolutely in regard to the new movement.
It was astonishing in fact how rapidly the light spread.
“Is Rasselyer-Brown with us?”
asked someone of Mr. Fyshe a few days later.
“Heart and soul,” answered
Mr. Fyshe. “He’s very bitter over
the way these rascals have been plundering the city
on its coal supply. He says that the city has
been buying coal wholesale at the pit mouth at three
fifty utterly worthless stuff, he tells
me. He has heard it said that everyone of these
scoundrels has been paid from twenty-five to fifty
dollars a winter to connive at it.”
“Dear me,” said the listener.
“Abominable, is it not?”
said Mr. Fyshe. “But as I said to Rasselyer-Brown,
what can one do if the citizens themselves take no
interest in these things. ‘Take your own
case,’ I said to him, ’how is it that
you, a coal man, are not helping the city in this matter?
Why don’t you supply the city?’ He shook
his head, ’I wouldn’t do it at three-fifty,’
he said. ‘No,’ I answered, ‘but
will you at five?’ He looked at me for a moment
and then he said, ’Fyshe, I’ll do it; at
five, or at anything over that they like to name.
If we get a new council in they may name their own
figure.’ ‘Good,’ I said.
’I hope all the other businessmen will be animated
with the same spirit.’”
Thus it was that the light broke and
spread and illuminated in all directions. People
began to realize the needs of the city as they never
had before. Mr. Boulder, who owned, among other
things, a stone quarry and an asphalt company, felt
that the paving of the streets was a disgrace.
Mr. Skinyer, of Skinyer and Beatem, shook his head
and said that the whole legal department of the city
needed reorganization; it needed, he said, new blood.
But he added always in a despairing tone, how could
one expect to run a department with the head of it
drawing only six thousand dollars; the thing was impossible.
If, he argued, they could superannuate the present
chief solicitor and get a man, a good man (Mr.
Skinyer laid emphasis on this) at, say, fifteen thousand
there might be some hope.
“Of course,” said Mr.
Skinyer to Mr. Newberry in discussing the topic, “one
would need to give him a proper staff of assistants
so as to take off his hands all the routine
work the mere appearance in court, the
preparation of briefs, the office consultation, the
tax revision and the purely legal work. In that
case he would have his hands free to devote himself
entirely to those things, which in fact
to turn his attention in whatever direction he might
feel it was advisable to turn it.”
Within a week or two the public movement
had found definite expression and embodied itself
in the Clean Government Association. This was
organized by a group of leading and disinterested citizens
who held their first meeting in the largest upstairs
room of the Mausoleum Club. Mr. Lucullus Fyshe,
Mr. Boulder, and others keenly interested in obtaining
simply justice for the stockholders of the Traction
and the Citizens’ Light were prominent from
the start. Mr. Rasselyer-Brown, Mr. Furlong senior
and others were there, not from special interest in
the light or traction questions, but, as they said
themselves, from pure civic spirit. Dr. Boomer
was there to represent the university with three of
his most presentable professors, cultivated men who
were able to sit in a first-class club and drink whiskey
and soda and talk as well as any businessman present.
Mr. Skinyer, Mr. Beatem and others represented the
bar. Dr. McTeague, blinking in the blue tobacco
smoke, was there to stand for the church. There
were all-round enthusiasts as well, such as Mr. Newberry
and the Overend brothers and Mr. Peter Spillikins.
“Isn’t it fine,”
whispered Mr. Spillikins to Mr. Newberry, “to
see a set of men like these all going into a thing
like this, not thinking of their own interests a bit?”
Mr. Fyshe, as chairman, addressed
the meeting. He told them they were there to
initiate a great free voluntary movement of the people.
It had been thought wise, he said, to hold it with
closed doors and to keep it out of the newspapers.
This would guarantee the league against the old underhand
control by a clique that had hitherto disgraced every
part of the administration of the city. He wanted,
he said, to see everything done henceforth in broad
daylight: and for this purpose he had summoned
them there at night to discuss ways and means of action.
After they were once fully assured of exactly what
they wanted to do and how they meant to do it, the
league he said, would invite the fullest and freest
advice from all classes in the city. There were
none he said, amid great applause, that were so lowly
that they would not be invited once the
platform of the league was settled to advise
and co-operate. All might help, even the poorest.
Subscription lists would be prepared which would allow
any sum at all, from one to five dollars, to be given
to the treasurer. The league was to be democratic
or nothing. The poorest might contribute as little
as one dollar: even the richest would not be
allowed to give more than five. Moreover he gave
notice that he intended to propose that no actual
official of the league should be allowed under its
by-laws to give anything. He himself if
they did him the honour to make him president as he
had heard it hinted was their intention would
be the first to bow to this rule. He would efface
himself. He would obliterate himself, content
in the interests of all, to give nothing. He
was able to announce similar pledges from his friends,
Mr. Boulder, Mr. Furlong, Dr. Boomer, and a number
of others.
Quite a storm of applause greeted
these remarks by Mr. Fyshe, who flushed with pride
as he heard it.
“Now, gentlemen,” he went
on, “this meeting is open for discussion.
Remember it is quite informal, anyone may speak.
I as chairman make no claim to control or monopolize
the discussion. Let everyone understand ”
“Well then, Mr. Chairman,” began Mr. Dick
Overend.
“One minute, Mr. Overend,”
said Mr. Fyshe. “I want everyone to understand
that he may speak as ”
“May I say then ” began Mr.
Newberry.
“Pardon me, Mr. Newberry,”
said Mr. Fyshe, “I was wishing first to explain
that not only may all participate but that we
invite ”
“In that case ” began Mr. Newberry.
“Before you speak,” interrupted
Mr. Fyshe, “let me add one word. We must
make our discussion as brief and to the point as possible.
I have a great number of things which I wish to say
to the meeting and it might be well if all of you
would speak as briefly and as little as possible.
Has anybody anything to say?”
“Well,” said Mr. Newberry,
“what about organization and officers?”
“We have thought of it,”
said Mr. Fyshe. “We were anxious above all
things to avoid the objectionable and corrupt methods
of a ‘slate’ and a prepared list of officers
which has disgraced every part of our city politics
until the present time. Mr. Boulder, Mr. Furlong
and Mr. Skinyer and myself have therefore prepared
a short list of offices and officers which we wish
to submit to your fullest, freest consideration.
It runs thus: Hon. President Mr. L. Fyshe, Hon.
Vice-president, Mr. A. Boulder, Hon. Secretary Mr.
Furlong, Hon. Treasurer Mr. O. Skinyer, et cetera I
needn’t read it all. You’ll see it
posted in the hall later. Is that carried?
Carried! Very good,” said Mr. Fyshe.
There was a moment’s pause while
Mr. Furlong and Mr. Skinyer moved into seats beside
Mr. Fyshe and while Mr. Furlong drew from his pocket
and arranged the bundle of minutes of the meeting
which he had brought with him. As he himself
said he was too neat and methodical a writer to trust
to jotting them down on the spot.
“Don’t you think,”
said Mr. Newberry, “I speak as a practical man,
that we ought to do something to get the newspapers
with us?”
“Most important,” assented several members.
“What do you think, Dr. Boomer?”
asked Mr. Fyshe of the university president, “will
the newspapers be with us?”
Dr. Boomer shook his head doubtfully.
“It’s an important matter,” he said.
“There is no doubt that we need, more than anything,
the support of a clean, wholesome unbiassed press
that can’t be bribed and is not subject to money
influence. I think on the whole our best plan
would be to buy up one of the city newspapers.”
“Might it not be better simply
to buy up the editorial staff?” said Mr. Dick
Overend.
“We might do that,” admitted
Dr. Boomer. “There is no doubt that the
corruption of the press is one of the worst factors
that we have to oppose. But whether we can best
fight it by buying the paper itself or buying the
staff is hard to say.”
“Suppose we leave it to a committee
with full power to act,” said Mr. Fyshe.
“Let us direct them to take whatever steps may
in their opinion be best calculated to elevate the
tone of the press, the treasurer being authorized
to second them in every way. I for one am heartily
sick of old underhand connection between city politics
and the city papers. If we can do anything to
alter and elevate it, it will be a fine work, gentlemen,
well worth whatever it costs us.”
Thus after an hour or two of such
discussion the Clean Government League found itself
organized and equipped with a treasury and a programme
and a platform. The latter was very simple.
As Mr. Fyshe and Mr. Boulder said there was no need
to drag in specific questions or try to define the
action to be taken towards this or that particular
detail, such as the hundred-and-fifty-year franchise,
beforehand. The platform was simply expressed
as Honesty, Purity, Integrity. This, as Mr. Fyshe
said, made a straight, flat, clean issue between the
league and all who opposed it.
This first meeting was, of course,
confidential. But all that it did was presently
done over again, with wonderful freshness and spontaneity
at a large public meeting open to all citizens.
There was a splendid impromptu air about everything.
For instance when somebody away back in the hall said,
“I move that Mr. Lucullus Fyshe be president
of the league,” Mr. Fyshe lifted his hand in
unavailing protest as if this were the newest idea
he had ever heard in his life.
After all of which the Clean Government
League set itself to fight the cohorts of darkness.
It was not just known where these were. But it
was understood that they were there all right, somewhere.
In the platform speeches of the epoch they figured
as working underground, working in the dark, working
behind the scenes, and so forth. But the strange
thing was that nobody could state with any exactitude
just who or what it was that the league was fighting.
It stood for “honesty, purity, and integrity.”
That was all you could say about it.
Take, for example, the case of the
press. At the inception of the league it has
been supposed that such was the venality and corruption
of the city newspapers that it would be necessary to
buy one of them. But the word “clean government”
had been no sooner uttered than it turned out that
every one of the papers in the city was in favour of
it: in fact had been working for it for years.
They vied with one another now in
giving publicity to the idea. The Plutorian
Times printed a dotted coupon on the corner of
its front sheet with the words, “Are you in
favour of Clean Government? If so, send us ten
cents with this coupon and your name and address.”
The Plutorian Citizen and Home Advocate, went
even further. It printed a coupon which said,
“Are you out for a clean city? If so send
us twenty-five cents to this office. We pledge
ourselves to use it.”
The newspapers did more than this.
They printed from day to day such pictures as the
portrait of Mr. Fyshe with the legend below, “Mr.
Lucullus Fyshe, who says that government ought to be
by the people, from the people, for the people and
to the people”; and the next day another labelled.
“Mr. P. Spillikins, who says that all men are
born free and equal”; and the next day a picture
with the words, “Tract of ground offered for
cemetery by Mr. Furlong, showing rear of tanneries,
with head of Mr. Furlong inserted.”
It was, of course, plain enough that
certain of the aldermen of the old council were to
be reckoned as part of the cohort of darkness.
That at least was clear. “We want no more
men in control of the stamp of Alderman Gorfinkel
and Alderman Schwefeldampf,” so said practically
every paper in the city. “The public sense
revolts at these men. They are vultures who have
feasted too long on the prostrate corpses of our citizens.”
And so on. The only trouble was to discover who
or what had ever supported Alderman Gorfinkel and
Alderman Schwefeldampf. The very organizations
that might have seemed to be behind them were evidently
more eager for clean government than the league itself.
“The Thomas Jefferson Club Out
for Clean Government,” so ran the newspaper
headings of one day; and of the next, “Will help
to clean up City Government. Eureka Club (Coloured)
endorses the League; Is done with Darkness”;
and the day after that, “Sons of Hungary Share
in Good Work: Kossuth Club will vote with the
League.”
So strong, indeed, was the feeling
against the iniquitous aldermen that the public demand
arose to be done with a council of aldermen altogether
and to substitute government by a Board. The newspapers
contained editorials on the topic each day and it was
understood that one of the first efforts of the league
would be directed towards getting the necessary sanction
of the legislature in this direction. To help
to enlighten the public on what such government meant
Professor Proaser of the university (he was one of
the three already referred to) gave a public lecture
on the growth of Council Government. He traced
it from the Amphictionic Council of Greece as far
down as the Oligarchical Council of Venice; it was
thought that had the evening been longer he would
have traced it clean down to modern times.
But most amazing of all was the announcement
that was presently made, and endorsed by Mr. Lucullus
Fyshe in an interview, that Mayor McGrath himself
would favour clean government, and would become the
official nominee of the league itself. This certainly
was strange. But it would perhaps have been less
mystifying to the public at large, had they been able
to listen to certain of the intimate conversations
of Mr. Fyshe and Mr. Boulder.
“You say then,” said Mr.
Boulder, “to let McGrath’s name stand.”
“We can’t do without him,”
said Mr. Fyshe, “he has seven of the wards in
the hollow of his hand. If we take his offer he
absolutely pledges us every one of them.”
“Can you rely on his word?” said Mr. Boulder.
“I think he means to play fair
with us,” answered Mr. Fyshe. “I put
it to him as a matter of honour, between man and man,
a week ago. Since then, I have had him carefully
dictaphoned and I’m convinced he’s playing
straight.”
“How far will he go with us?” said Mr.
Boulder.
“He is willing to throw overboard
Gorfinkel, Schwefeldampf and Undercutt. He says
he must find a place for O’Hooligan. The
Irish, he says, don’t care for clean government;
they want Irish Government.”
“I see,” said Mr. Boulder
very thoughtfully, “and in regard to the renewal
of the franchise and the expropriation, tell me just
exactly what his conditions are.”
But Mr. Fyshe’s answer to this
was said so discreetly and in such a low voice, that
not even the birds listening in the elm trees outside
the Mausoleum Club could hear it.
No wonder, then, that if even the
birds failed to know everything about the Clean Government
League, there were many things which such good people
as Mr. Newberry and Mr. Peter Spillikins never heard
at all and never guessed.
Each week and every day brought fresh
triumphs to the onward march of the movement.
“Yes, gentlemen,” said
Mr. Fyshe to the assembled committee of the Clean
Government League a few days later, “I am glad
to be able to report our first victory. Mr. Boulder
and I have visited the state capital and we are able
to tell you definitely that the legislature will consent
to change our form of government so as to replace our
council by a Board.”
“Hear, hear!” cried all the committee
men together.
“We saw the governor,”
said Mr. Fyshe. “Indeed he was good enough
to lunch with us at the Pocahontas Club. He tells
us that what we are doing is being done in every city
and town of the state. He says that the days
of the old-fashioned city council are numbered.
They are setting up boards everywhere.”
“Excellent!” said Mr. Newberry.
“The governor assures us that
what we want will be done. The chairman of the
Democratic State Committee (he was good enough to dine
with us at the Buchanan Club) has given us the same
assurance. So also does the chairman of the Republican
State Committee, who was kind enough to be our guest
in a box at the Lincoln Theatre. It is most gratifying,”
concluded Mr. Fyshe, “to feel that the legislature
will give us such a hearty, such a thoroughly American
support.”
“You are sure of this, are you?”
questioned Mr. Newberry. “You have actually
seen the members of the legislature?”
“It was not necessary,”
said Mr. Fyshe. “The governor and the different
chairmen have them so well fixed that is
to say, they have such confidence in the governor
and their political organizers that they will all
be prepared to give us what I have described as thoroughly
American support.”
“You are quite sure,”
persisted Mr. Newberry, “about the governor and
the others you mentioned?”
Mr. Fyshe paused a moment and then
he said very quietly, “We are quite sure,”
and he exchanged a look with Mr. Boulder that meant
volumes to those who would read it.
“I hope you didn’t mind
my questioning you in that fashion,” said Mr.
Newberry, as he and Mr. Fyshe strolled home from the
club. “The truth is I didn’t feel
sure in my own mind just what was meant by a ‘Board,’
and ‘getting them to give us government by a
Board.’ I know I’m speaking like
an ignoramus. I’ve really not paid as much
attention in the past to civic politics as I ought
to have. But what is the difference between a
council and a board?”
“The difference between a council
and a board?” repeated Mr. Fyshe.
“Yes,” said Mr. Newberry,
“the difference between a council and a board.”
“Or call it,” said Mr.
Fyshe reflectively, “the difference between a
board and a council.”
“Precisely,” said Mr Newberry.
“It’s not altogether easy
to explain,” said Mr. Fyshe. “One
chief difference is that in the case of a board, sometimes
called a Commission, the salary is higher. You
see the salary of an alderman or councillor in most
cities is generally not more than fifteen hundred or
two thousand dollars. The salary of a member of
a board or commission is at least ten thousand.
That gives you at once a very different class of men.
As long as you only pay fifteen hundred you get your
council filled up with men who will do any kind of
crooked work for fifteen hundred dollars; as soon
as you pay ten thousand you get men with larger ideas.”
“I see,” said Mr. Newberry.
“If you have a fifteen hundred
dollar man,” Mr. Fyshe went on, “you can
bribe him at any time with a fifty-dollar bill.
On the other hand your ten-thousand-dollar man has
a wider outlook. If you offer him fifty dollars
for his vote on the board, he’d probably laugh
at you.”
“Ah, yes,” said Mr. Newberry,
“I see the idea. A fifteen-hundred-dollar
salary is so low that it will tempt a lot of men into
office merely for what they can get out of it.”
“That’s it exactly,” answered Mr.
Fyshe.
From all sides support came to the
new league. The women of the city there
were fifty thousand of them on the municipal voters
list were not behind the men. Though
not officials of the league they rallied to its cause.
“Mr. Fyshe,” said Mrs.
Buncomhearst, who called at the office of the president
of the league with offers of support, “tell me
what we can do. I represent fifty thousand women
voters of this city ”
(This was a favourite phrase of Mrs.
Buncomhearst’s, though it had never been made
quite clear how or why she represented them.)
“We want to help, we women.
You know we’ve any amount of initiative, if
you’ll only tell us what to do. You know,
Mr. Fyshe, we’ve just as good executive ability
as you men, if you’ll just tell us what to do.
Couldn’t we hold a meeting of our own, all our
own, to help the league along?”
“An excellent idea,” said Mr. Fyshe.
“And could you not get three
or four men to come and address it so as to stir us
up?” asked Mrs. Buncomhearst anxiously.
“Oh, certainly,” said Mr. Fyshe.
So it was known after this that the
women were working side by side with the men.
The tea rooms of the Grand Palaver and the other hotels
were filled with them every day, busy for the cause.
One of them even invented a perfectly charming election
scarf to be worn as a sort of badge to show one’s
allegiance; and its great merit was that it was so
fashioned that it would go with anything.
“Yes,” said Mr. Fyshe
to his committee, “one of the finest signs of
our movement is that the women of the city are with
us. Whatever we may think, gentlemen, of the
question of woman’s rights in general and
I think we know what we do think there
is no doubt that the influence of women makes for
purity in civic politics. I am glad to inform
the committee that Mrs. Buncomhearst and her friends
have organized all the working women of the city who
have votes. They tell me that they have been
able to do this at a cost as low as five dollars per
woman. Some of the women foreigners
of the lower classes whose sense of political morality
is as yet imperfectly developed have been
organized at a cost as low as one dollar per vote.
But of course with our native American women, with
a higher standard of education and morality, we can
hardly expect to do it as low as that.”
Nor were the women the only element
of support added to the league.
“Gentlemen,” reported
Dr. Boomer, the president of the university, at the
next committee meeting, “I am glad to say that
the spirit which animates us has spread to the students
of the university. They have organized, entirely
by themselves and on their own account, a Students’
Fair Play League which has commenced its activities.
I understand that they have already ducked Alderman
Gorfinkel in a pond near the university. I believe
they are looking for Alderman Schwefeldampf tonight.
I understand they propose to throw him into the reservoir.
The leaders of them a splendid set of young
fellows have given me a pledge that they
will do nothing to bring discredit on the university.”
“I think I heard them on the
street last night,” said Mr. Newberry.
“I believe they had a procession,” said
the president.
“Yes, I heard them; they were
shouting ’Rah! rah! rah! Clean Government!
Clean Government! Rah! rah!’ It was really
inspiring to hear them.”
“Yes,” said the president,
“they are banded together to put down all the
hoodlumism and disturbance on the street that has hitherto
disgraced our municipal elections. Last night,
as a demonstration, they upset two streetcars and
a milk wagon.”
“I heard that two of them were
arrested,” said Mr. Dick Overend.
“Only by an error,” said
the president. “There was a mistake.
It was not known that they were students. The
two who were arrested were smashing the windows of
the car, after it was upset, with their hockey sticks.
A squad of police mistook them for rioters. As
soon as they were taken to the police station, the
mistake was cleared up at once. The chief-of-police
telephoned an apology to the university. I believe
the league is out again tonight looking for Alderman
Schwefeldampf. But the leaders assure me there
will be no breach of the peace whatever. As I
say, I think their idea is to throw him into the reservoir.”
In the face of such efforts as these,
opposition itself melted rapidly away. The Plutorian
Times was soon able to announce that various undesirable
candidates were abandoning the field. “Alderman
Gorfinkel,” it said, “who, it will be
recalled, was thrown into a pond last week by the
students of the college, was still confined to his
bed when interviewed by our representative. Mr.
Gorfinkel stated that he should not offer himself
as a candidate in the approaching election. He
was, he said, weary of civic honours. He had
had enough. He felt it incumbent on him to step
out and make way for others who deserved their turn
as well as himself: in future he proposed to confine
his whole attention to his Misfit Semi-Ready Establishment
which he was happy to state was offering as nobby
a line of early fall suiting as was ever seen at the
price.”
There is no need to recount here in
detail the glorious triumph of the election day itself.
It will always be remembered as the purest, cleanest
election ever held in the precincts of the city.
The citizens’ organization turned out in overwhelming
force to guarantee that it should be so. Bands
of Dr. Boomer’s students, armed with baseball
bats, surrounded the polls to guarantee fair play.
Any man wishing to cast an unclean vote was driven
from the booth: all those attempting to introduce
any element of brute force or rowdyism into the election
were cracked over the head. In the lower part
of the town scores of willing workers, recruited often
from the humblest classes, kept order with pickaxes.
In every part of the city motor cars, supplied by all
the leading businessmen, lawyers, and doctors of the
city, acted as patrols to see that no unfair use should
be made of other vehicles in carrying voters to the
polls.
It was a foregone victory from the
first overwhelming and complete. The
cohorts of darkness were so completely routed that
it was practically impossible to find them. As
it fell dusk the streets were filled with roaring
and surging crowds celebrating the great victory for
clean government, while in front of every newspaper
office huge lantern pictures of Mayor McGrath the
Champion of Pure Government, and O. Skinyer,
the People’s Solicitor, and the other nominees
of the league, called forth cheer after cheer of frenzied
enthusiasm.
They held that night in celebration
a great reception at the Mausoleum Club on Plutoria
Avenue, given at its own suggestion by the city.
The city, indeed, insisted on it.
Nor was there ever witnessed even
in that home of art and refinement a scene of greater
charm. In the spacious corridor of the club a
Hungarian band wafted Viennese music from Tyrolese
flutes through the rubber trees. There was champagne
bubbling at a score of sideboards where noiseless
waiters poured it into goblets as broad and flat as
floating water-lily leaves. And through it all
moved the shepherds and shepherdesses of that beautiful
Arcadia the shepherds in their Tuxedo jackets,
with vast white shirt-fronts broad as the map of Africa,
with spotless white waistcoats girdling their equators,
wearing heavy gold watch-chains and little patent
shoes blacker than sin itself and the shepherdesses
in foaming billows of silks of every colour of the
kaleidoscope, their hair bound with glittering headbands
or coiled with white feathers, the very symbol of
municipal purity. One would search in vain the
pages of pastoral literature to find the equal of it.
And as they talked, the good news
spread from group to group that it was already known
that the new franchise of the Citizens’ Light
was to be made for two centuries so as to give the
company a fair chance to see what it could do.
At the word of it, the grave faces of manly bondholders
flushed with pride, and the soft eyes of listening
shareholders laughed back in joy. For they had
no doubt or fear, now that clean government had come.
They knew what the company could do.
Thus all night long, outside of the
club, the soft note of the motor horns arriving and
departing wakened the sleeping leaves of the elm trees
with their message of good tidings. And all night
long, within its lighted corridors, the bubbling champagne
whispered to the listening rubber trees of the new
salvation of the city. So the night waxed and
waned till the slow day broke, dimming with its cheap
prosaic glare the shaded beauty of the artificial
light, and the people of the city the best
of them drove home to their well-earned
sleep; and the others in the lower parts
of the city rose to their daily toil.