“CANNIE,” said Mrs. Gray,
a few days after the sailing-party, “would you
like to study French this summer, with Marian for company?”
“Y-es,” replied Cannie;
but she said it more because she saw that a yes was
expected of her, than because of any real pleasure
at the idea. Like most girls who have had scanty
or poor teaching, she liked to read a great deal better
than she liked to study.
“Do you know any French at all?” continued
her cousin.
“No, not any. There wasn’t
anybody at home who taught it; and if there had been,
I don’t believe Aunt Myra would have let me learn.
She thinks English is a good enough language for anybody.
I did study Latin a little while, though. Aunt
Myra consented to that, because we had papa’s
Latin books in the house, and she said they might as
well be useful.”
“Well, your Latin won’t
come amiss to your French,” said Mrs. Gray,
laughing to herself over this thrifty reason for learning
a language. “Marian is, of course, far
ahead of you in speaking, for she learned it by ear,
as they say of music, during the year we spent in France
on our way home; but she knows but little of the rules
and grammar. I think you will do very well together;
for her fluency will tempt you on to talk, and your
perseverance will keep her up to the exercises and
conjugations, which are sad drudgery, but very needful
if you are ever really to know anything of the language.
You are persevering, are you not, Cannie?”
“I don’t know whether
I am or not,” replied Candace, inly resolving
to justify Cousin Kate’s good opinion.
“I have confidence in you,”
said Mrs. Gray, smiling kindly at her. “And
another thing I wanted to say is, that I think both
you and Marian will enjoy the summer a great deal
better for having one regular study to prepare for.
It gives a sort of backbone to your lives, don’t
you see? Clear fun is like clear honey, it
cloys and loses its charm; but when it is mixed with
occupation it keeps its flavor, and you don’t
get tired of it.”
“I can understand that,”
said Candace, thoughtfully. “I recollect
how nice Saturday afternoons used to seem when Aunt
Myra had kept me busy darning stockings all the morning.
I think I would like the French lessons, Cousin
Kate; only I am afraid the teacher will think me very
stupid.”
Candace’s fears were not realized.
As a beginner, her first steps were necessarily slow;
but she took pains, and had no bad habits or evil
accents to unlearn, and after a while she “got
hold” of the language and went on more rapidly.
Marian’s fluent chatter stimulated her to try
to talk as fast also, though Mademoiselle Bougereau,
their teacher, found a great deal of fault with Marian,
and said that many of the phrases which came so glibly
out of her mouth partook of the nature of slang, and
were not finished or elegant French. Still, with
all drawbacks, the little class of two made fair progress;
and Candace realized that what Mrs. Gray had said
was true, and that all the bits of amusement and pleasure
which came in her way were doubly enjoyed by reason
of the little “backbone” of real work
thus put into her days.
Another pleasure which she and Marian
shared in common was a surf-bath before breakfast.
Berry Joy had got up an omnibus party of girls, which
she called “The Early Dip Club,” in which
all four of Mrs. Gray’s young people were included.
Punctually at a quarter before seven on every fair
morning the omnibus rattled up the Avenue; and the
“Club” set out, under the care of an old
experienced maid of Mrs. Joy’s, who had nursed
Berry, and could be trusted to see that none of the
young ladies did anything very imprudent, such
as staying too long in the water or standing about
in their wet bathing-dresses. At that early hour
there were no loungers to stare at the party.
The beach, cleanly swept by the tide of the night
before, had scarcely a footprint to mar its smooth,
firm sands. There was something delightful in
the perfect freshness of the hour and place.
Some of the girls had taken lessons in the “School
of Natation” in the lower bay, and could swim
very well. Candace could not swim, and made no
attempt to learn; but she soon acquired the art of
floating, under the tuition of Alice Frewen, who,
next to Marian and herself, was the youngest of the
party, and to whom she had taken a great fancy.
The three “children,” as Berenice Joy
called them, made common cause, and generally kept
together, a little apart from the others, holding each
other’s hands and splashing up and down in the
rollers with great enjoyment.
Bathing over, the “Early Dippers”
returned home in their omnibus about the time that
other people were waking up, bringing with them such
cheeks and such appetites as were a satisfaction to
their families, and did great credit to the powers
of the Newport surf.
So the days sped on. It was full
summer-tide now; yet the weather never seemed hot,
except perhaps for an hour or two at a time. Morning
after morning the sun would rise in a blaze of yellow,
which anywhere else would have betokened a scorching
day; and just as people had begun to say, “What
a sultry morning!” lo, in one moment the wind
would set in from the sea, strong, salty, fresh, invigorating;
and, behold, it was cool! Or if the afternoon
seemed for a little while oppressive in the streets
of the old town, it was only necessary to go down to
the end of the Avenue to find a temperature cool enough
to be called chilly. Nobody ever thought of driving
without a shawl, and the shawl was almost always needed.
Mrs. Gray was wont to say that Newport had three different
climates, a warm one and a cold one and
an in-between one, and it had them all
three every day, and people could take their choice,
which was much more convenient than having only one.
The large places on the Cliffs were
all open and occupied now. The flower-beds, newly
planted when Candace came, made wonderful spaces of
color everywhere in the emerald turf. Geraniums
seemed as universal as grass, and their splendid reds
and pinks were such as are seldom seen anywhere except
in Newport. Foliage plants grew into enormous
crimson or golden mats, which showed not one break
in their luxuriant fulness. In the more ornate
places were beds planted to look like Turkish carpets
or Indian shawls, the pattern reproduced by hundreds
of small plants of carefully adjusted hues, kept closely
shaven so as to lie as flat as the objects they simulated.
Roses were everywhere; and the soft drifting mists
which now and again blew in from the sea, and the constant
underlying moisture of the climate kept everything
in a state of perfect freshness.
The Casino balls and lawn-tennis matches
had begun. Visitors were pouring into the Ocean
House; and every day increased the number of carriages,
drags, dog-carts, pony phaetons, and village carts,
which on all bright afternoons thronged the Avenue
from end to end. Dinners and lawn-parties were
of frequent occurrence, and during calling-hours the
bell seemed always in vibration at the Gray cottage. “Cottage”
I call it; for in Newport everything that is not a
“villa” is styled a “cottage,”
no matter how big or square or uncompromising its appearance
may be.
Candace was rather too young to be
taken into general society, and she saw much less
of these entertainments than Georgie; less even than
Gertrude, who, by reason of her intimacy with Georgie’s
set, was often included in their parties, though not
yet formally “out.” Mrs. Gray, however,
thought it good for Candace to share a little of what
was going on; and she took pains to have her invited
now and then with the others to lawn-parties, excursions,
or afternoon teas. If Mrs. Gray herself was present
on these occasions, Cannie did pretty well; for she
invariably got behind her cousin or beside her, made
no attempt to talk, and just amused herself by watching
what went on. But when Mrs. Gray did not go,
and she was left to the tender mercies of Georgie and
Gertrude, she was apt to feel lonely and unfriended;
for with all the better resolutions of these pleasure-loving
young people, they still found it “easy to forget
Cannie.”
“What are you going to do this
morning, children?” asked Mrs. Gray, one day
at breakfast. “Is the great tennis-match
that we have heard so much about to come off, or have
I forgotten the date?”
“No, this is the eventful day,”
replied Gertrude; “and I am so nervous about
it that I don’t feel as if I could play at all.”
“Nonsense! you played beautifully
yesterday,” said Georgie.
“There wasn’t anything
depending on me yesterday. It is queer how people
never do their best when it is important that they
should. I feel as if I were going to be all thumbs
this morning.”
“Oh, you won’t. You’ll
get excited and forget about the thumbs,” remarked
Georgie, consolingly. “Mamma, aren’t
you coming to see us?”
“Yes, I think I shall; and I
will bring Cannie with me. She hasn’t seen
the Casino yet.”
Candace had become familiar with the
street side of the pretty Casino building, and admired
greatly its long façade, with the quaintly shingled
curves and balconies, and the low gables, ornamented
with disks and half suns in dull gilding, all
looking, Mrs. Gray said, as old as if it had stood
there for a couple of centuries, instead of for three
or four years only. But the street side, picturesque
as it is, had by no means prepared her for what she
saw as she followed her cousin through the entrance
hall and into the quadrangle beyond.
What did she see? An open space
of greenest turf, broken only by two long curving
beds of foliage plants and a stone basin from which
a fountain threw up a cool jet to refresh the air.
On either hand, and on the side from which they had
entered, was a line of low buildings, with balconies
and grilles of quaintly designed wood-work,
windows filled with oddly tinted glass, and at one
point a clock tower of rough masonry, over which vines
were clustering. Connecting the buildings to
right and left, was a raised covered gallery, semi-circular
in shape, with a second gallery overhead; and on these
ladies in fresh morning toilettes were sitting,
some with pieces of embroidery in their hands, others
collected in knots for conversation or to listen to
the music of the band.
Beyond this gallery lay another and
much larger quadrangle, with lines of trees and shrubs
to veil its boundaries, on which lawn-tennis was being
played in five or six courts at once. At the back
of this quadrangle was another long low building,
in the same picturesque style as the rest, which,
Mrs. Gray explained, contained on one side a charming
little theatre which could also be used as a ball-room,
and on the other an admirable bowling-alley and racket-court
for the use of the members. The band was playing
gay music; a hum of conversation filled the air; pretty
girls in white or blue or rose color were moving about;
the wind drew with delicious coolness through the galleries;
altogether it would have been hard to find on a summer
morning a prettier place or a livelier scene.
Mrs. Gray was too much of a favorite
not to be at once sought out. She was soon the
centre of a little group of friends; and Candace sat
beside her, silent as usual, but gazing with enchanted
eyes at the animated figures on the tennis ground,
at the gables and loggias of the restaurant building,
at the curious clock-tower, with the heavy iron rings
depending above the base, and its top like a bellflower.
It was all like a fairy tale to her. Her imagination
was actively at work, but no one would have guessed
it from her quiet little face; and when Mrs. Gray
introduced her to one person and another, she shrank
into herself, and after her shy little bow and “How
do you do?” relapsed again into stillness, and
made no attempt to keep up a conversation. People
were kind; but it is always easy to secure solitude
in a crowd, and Cannie soon found herself let alone
to her heart’s content.
Gertrude was playing her best.
Her nervousness had disappeared in the excitement
of the game, as Georgie had predicted that it would,
and some of her strokes were so clever as to win a
little volley of applause from the by-standers.
Candace did not know the game well enough to appreciate
fine points of play, but she could perfectly appreciate
the fun of winning; and when Gertrude, flushed and
radiant, came to show her mother the prize she had
won, a lace pin of gold filigree in the form of a
racket, Cannie’s face lighted up with a bright
sympathy which was pleasant to see. A lady who
had been watching her whispered to Mrs. Gray, “What
a sweet face that little niece of yours has!”
“So she has,” replied
Mrs. Gray; “only she is so very timid. She
never does herself justice.”
“Is it timidity? I had
a fancy that she had an unhappy temper, or was troubled
about something. Her face has always seemed so
sad and overcast till just now, when it lit up at
Gertrude’s good fortune, and then I caught the
true expression.”
Mrs. Gray recollected this remark
as she drove home with Candace, who, perfectly at
ease now that she was alone with her cousin Kate, chattered
and laughed like any other girl, and showed herself
the happy young thing that she was. At home,
even when with Georgie and Gertrude, she was no longer
shy; but the moment a stranger came in, all was changed.
It was like an evil spell cast by some enchanter.
The pleasant smile and simple childish manner vanished,
and Cannie became stiff, cold, awkward even; for her
discomfort made her feel constrained in every limb
and muscle. Her manner grew frigid, because she
was frightened and wanted to hide it. If she
had to shake hands, she did it without smiling and
with downcast eyes; she was too ill at ease to be
cordial. People thought that she was out of humor
or troubled about something, and set her down as dull
and unattractive; and with a natural reaction, Cannie
felt that they did not like her, and that made her
more uncomfortable than ever.
Mrs. Gray pitied Cannie very much,
and had tried various methods to shake her out of
her shyness and teach her confidence in herself.
None of them so far had done any good. She now
began to wonder if her analysis of the case was not
wrong; if shyness was not a fault rather than a misfortune,
and needed to be disciplined accordingly. She
watched Candace for a day or two, and then she made
up her mind. “It will be kill or cure,”
she thought, as she ordered the coupe and proposed
to Cannie to take the ocean drive. Marian wanted
to go too, and protested that there was plenty of
room on the little let-down seat, and that she wouldn’t
crowd them a bit; but her mother was quite firm, and
despatched her on an errand in the other direction
without any compunctions.
“I must have Cannie all to myself,” she
thought.
It was not till they were out of the
Avenue and rolling along the smooth road beyond Bailey’s
Beach, with the fresh-water ponds on one hand and
on the other the points and indentations of the coast,
that Mrs. Gray led to the subject which was on her
mind. The sea was intensely blue that afternoon,
with shoots of creamy foam over every rock and ledge,
and for a while they talked of nothing but the beauty
of the day and the view. Finally Mrs. Gray began,
“How did you like Mrs. Endicott?”
Mrs. Endicott was one of various visitors
who had called that morning. Candace had been
sent for, and had been more than usually awkward and
unresponsive.
“I liked her pretty well,”
said Candace. “She didn’t talk to
me but a little while.”
“I know she didn’t.
It was on her account specially that I sent for you
to come down,” continued Mrs. Gray. “Did
she tell you that she was at school with your mother
when they were quite little girls?”
“No!” said Candace, surprised.
“Yes; they were great friends,
and she wrote to me before she came up that she was
looking forward to seeing you. Shall I tell you
why she so soon stopped talking to you? She told
me afterward. She said: ’I wanted
to talk to your niece about her mother, and to ask
her to come to me for a visit; but she looked so frightened
and seemed so stiff and shy and hard to get at, that
I thought the kindest thing I could do would be to
let her alone for the moment, till she was a little
more used to me, and to talk to some one else.
Next time I come, we shall get on better, I hope.’”
Candace looked much mortified.
“Was I stiff?” she asked. “I
didn’t know it. I didn’t mean to be.”
“You are almost always stiff
with strangers,” said her cousin. “I
know you do not mean it, and you are not conscious
of the effect of your own manner; but all the same
it is stiff. Now, Cannie, will you promise me
not to be hurt at what I am going to say?”
“Why, of course I won’t,”
said Cannie, looking at her with trustful eyes.
“Well then, listen! If
I didn’t know you, if you were not
my own dear little Cannie, whose warm heart I am sure
of, and whose good intentions I know all about, if
I met you for the first time and judged of you merely
from your manner, as all strangers must judge, do
you know what I should think?”
“What?”
“I should think you rather a
cold-hearted girl, who didn’t like people and
didn’t mind letting them know it.”
“Oh, Cousin Kate!”
“Or else, if I were more charitably
inclined, I should think you a dull girl who did not
take much interest in what went on about her.”
“Oh, Cousin Kate!”
“Or,” continued her cousin,
relentlessly, “if I were a real angel, and disposed
to make the very best of everybody, I should say to
myself, ‘The poor thing is so shy that she can’t
show what she really is.’ Unluckily, there
are few perfect angels in this world, and a great many
of the other sort. And even as a perfect angel,
my dear Cannie, I don’t think I should consider
you exactly agreeable.”
“But what can I do?” demanded
Candace, looking very unhappy. “I can’t
make myself not shy.”
“No; but you can mend matters
by forcing yourself to hide your shyness. I have
been meditating on the subject, Cannie, and I have
made up my mind that shyness is one form of selfishness.”
“Cousin Kate, how can you say
that? I thought selfishness was doing what you
liked and what is pleasant. I’m sure I don’t
like to be shy.”
“Oh, it’s not that kind
of selfishness,” said Mrs. Gray, smiling.
“There is nothing pleasant about shyness; that
I am quite ready to admit. But can’t you
see that it is self-occupation, the being absorbed
with your own sensations and feelings, and with trying
to imagine what people are thinking about you, that
makes you so miserable? If you could forget and
occupy yourself with others, this shyness would go.
Now, this morning, had you been full of Mrs. Endicott,
and what she was like, and what she wanted to talk
about, instead of little Candace Arden, and what Mrs.
Endicott considered her like, it would all have been
different, and much pleasanter for both of you.”
“Oh, if I only could,”
said Candace, with a catch in her voice, “I would
give anything I have in the world! I hate to seem
so awkward and dull. But you’ve no idea
how uncomfortable I feel, Cousin Kate. The moment
I come downstairs and see that roomful of company,
my face twitches and my cheeks burn, and I can’t
think of anything to say, and I keep wishing I could
run upstairs again and hide somewhere.”
“Yes, because, as I said, your
mind is full of yourself. If instead of coming
in with this miserable self-consciousness full upon
you, you could look upon the roomful as just so many
people to whom you owe the little duties of politeness
and cordiality, for whom you have the chance to do
something kind or pleasant, you would forget your face
and your cheeks and the desire to run away. You
would be thinking of them, and in thinking of them
you would forget to be shy.”
Candace did not reply.
“You are a conscientious child,”
her cousin went on. “I think that you sincerely
wish to do what is right, and to make God’s rule
the rule of your life. And, Candace, in my opinion
you should consider it a part of religious duty to
try to get rid of this false shame, this bondage to
the idea of self, and to learn to live for others instead.”
Candace looked up, with the dawn of
a new idea in her face.
“How do you mean?” she asked.
“You cannot always run away,”
continued her cousin. “Big as it is, the
world is not big enough to furnish hiding-places for
all the people who are afraid to face their fellow-men.
And since you cannot run away, your plain duty is
to be brave and make the best of it. Now, Cannie,
there are two things which may help you to do this,
two thoughts which you can keep in mind; and I wish
you would try to remember them when you feel a fit
of fright or of stiffness coming on.”
“What are they?”
“One is, that you are but one
little insignificant atom among thousands. People
are not thinking about you or noticing you very particularly.
You are not of much consequence except to yourself
and the few friends who love you. This would
be a mortifying fact, if vanity were your trouble;
but as it is not, it is a comfortable one. And
just as nobody notices you specially, so all the world
is not engaged afterward in recollecting all your
little mistakes and the stupid things you have said.
Unless you have done something very queer,
they forget about you as soon as they lose sight of
you. I know what miseries sensitive girls undergo
in thinking over their foolish speeches and actions,
and imagining that every one remembers them as distinctly
as they themselves do.”
Cannie couldn’t help smiling.
“Cousin Kate, how can you know about all those
things?” she asked.
“Because I was a girl myself
once, and as foolish as any of the rest of you; and
I have not forgotten how it feels to be a girl,”
said her cousin, gayly. “That is the use
of growing old, Cannie. You can show the way
to younger people, and make the road you have walked
over a little easier for them. But to go
back to what we were talking about, our own insignificance
is one helpful thought, as I said; the other is, that
kindliness is one of the Christian virtues, and it
is just as much a duty to practise it as it is to
be honest and temperate.”
Candace drew a long breath.
“It would be perfectly delightful
to keep thinking like that always,” she said;
“the only thing is that I am afraid I should
forget when the time came. I wish you could give
me an exact rule, Cousin Kate, just what to say and
how to act. I would try ever so hard to follow
it.”
“I know you would,” said
Mrs. Gray; “but there is no exact rule that I
can give, except the Golden one, to do to others just
as you would like them to do to you. If you feel
stiff, be sure to look cordial. Smile, and shake
hands as if you meant it. Try to look interested
in what people are saying to you. A good listener
helps on conversation as well as a good talker.
If you are friendly and warm in your manner, other
people will warm to you instinctively. Try it,
Cannie, and see if I am not right. And now we
will not talk any more about ourselves or our shyness,
but drive into the Fort and listen to the music.
I caught a strain from the Band just then, and I recollect
that this is a ’Fort Day.’”
So in they drove, clattered between
walls and embankments, and over a steep paved incline
beneath a great arch, and found themselves in an open
square, with buildings of solid masonry on all sides,
in the midst of which the band was stationed.
Other carriages were drawn up to listen to the music,
and officers in uniform were coming and going, and
talking to the ladies in the carriages. One of
these officers, a nice old Major, with a bald spot
under his gold-banded cap, knew Mrs. Gray, and came
to welcome her. His “girls” were gone
over to Newport to a lawn-party, he said; but he insisted
on taking Mrs. Gray and Cannie in to see their quarters,
which were in a casemate, in close neighborhood to
one of the great guns. Here he brewed them a delicious
cup of tea; and afterward, at Mrs. Gray’s request,
he took Candace to see the magazines, and some of
the curious underground passages which connect one
side of the Fort with the other. Cannie thought
these extremely interesting, and like all the caves
on desert islands which she had ever read about; for
they were narrow, dark, and mysterious, they smelt
very close, and all sorts of odd funguses and formations
were growing on the roofs overhead.
These adventures chased the worry
from her mind and the anxious puckers from her forehead;
and she went home quite happily, without recurring
again to the subject of their late conversation.
But she did not forget it, and it bore fruit.
Mrs. Gray noted, without seeming to be on the watch,
the efforts which Candace thenceforward made to overcome
her shyness. She saw her force herself to come
forward, force herself to smile, to speak, when all
the time she was quaking inwardly; and she felt that
there was real power of character required for such
an effort. Quiet Candace would always be; modest
and retiring it was her nature to be: but gradually
she learned not to seem cold and stiff; and when her
cousin saw her, as she sometimes did, forgetting herself
in talking to some one, and lighting up into her easy,
natural, bright manner, she felt that the rather hard
lesson administered that afternoon on the ocean drive
had not been in vain. Rome was not built in a
day, and ease of manner is not acquired in a moment;
but Candace had at last got hold of a right idea,
and there was hope that with time people less charitable
even than “perfect angels” might pronounce
her “agreeable.”