“Speak, is’t so?
If it be so, you have wound a goodly clue;
If it be not, forswear’t: howe’er,
I charge thee,
As heaven shall work in me for thine avail,
To tell me truly.”
Mr. Morrison’s visit had drifted
off into the distance of time; and the subject of
South Sea missions had passed out of sight, for all
that appeared. Mrs. Caxton did not bring it up
again after that evening, and Eleanor did not.
The household went on with its quiet ways. Perhaps
Mrs. Caxton was a trifle more silent and ruminative,
and Eleanor more persistently busy. She had been
used to be busy; in these weeks she seemed to have
forgotten how to rest. She looked tired accordingly
sometimes; and Mrs. Caxton noticed it.
“What became of your bill, Eleanor?”
she said suddenly one evening. They had both
been sitting at work some time without a word.
“My bill, ma’am? What do you mean,
aunt Caxton?”
“Your Ragged school bill.”
“It reached its second reading,
ma’am; and there it met with opposition.”
“And fell through?”
“I suppose so for
the present. Its time will come, I hope; the time
for its essential provisions, I mean.”
“Do you think Mr. Carlisle could have secured
its passage?”
“From what I know and have heard of him, I have
no doubt he could.”
“His love is not very generous,” remarked
Mrs. Caxton.
“It never was, aunt Caxton.
After I left London I had little hope of my bill.
I am not disappointed.”
“My dear, are you weary to-night?”
“No ma’am! not particularly.”
“I shall have to find some play-work
for you to do. Your voice speaks something like
weariness.”
“I do not feel it, aunt Caxton.”
“Eleanor, have you any regret
for any part of your decision and action with respect
to Mr. Carlisle?”
“Never, aunt Caxton. How can you ask me?”
“I did not know but you might
feel weariness now at your long stay in Plassy and
the prospect of a continued life here.”
Eleanor put down her work, came to
Mrs. Caxton, kneeled down and put her arms about her;
kissing her with kisses that certainly carried conviction
with them.
“It is the most wicked word
I ever heard you say, aunt Caxton. I love Plassy
beyond all places in the world, that I have ever been
in. No part of my life has been so pleasant as
the part spent here. If I am weary, I sometimes
feel as if my life were singularly cut off from its
natural duties and stranded somehow, all alone; but
that is an unbelieving thought, and I do not give
it harbour at all. I am very content very
happy.”
Mrs. Caxton brought her hand tenderly
down the side of the smooth cheek before her, and
her eyes grew somewhat misty. But that was a rare
occurrence, and the exhibition of it immediately dismissed.
She kissed Eleanor and returned to her ordinary manner.
“Talking about stranded lives,”
she said; “to take another subject, you must
forgive me for that one, dear I think of
Mr. Rhys very often.”
“His life is not stranded,”
said Eleanor; “it is under full sail.”
“He is alone, though.”
“I do not believe he feels alone, aunt Caxton.”
“I do not know,” said
Mrs. Caxton. “A man of a sensitive nature
must feel, I should think, in his circumstances, that
he has put an immense distance between himself and
all whom he loves.”
“But I thought he had almost no family relations
left?”
“Did it never occur to you,”
said Mrs. Caxton, “when you used to see him
here, that there was somebody, somewhere, who had a
piece of his heart?”
“No, ma’am, never!”
Eleanor said with some energy. “I never
thought he seemed like it.”
“I did not know anything about
it,” Mrs. Caxton went on slowly, “until
a little while before he went away some
time after you were here. Then I learned that
it was the truth.”
Eleanor worked away very diligently
and made no answer. Mrs. Caxton furtively watched
her; Eleanor’s head was bent down over her sewing;
but when she raised it to change the position of her
work, Mrs. Caxton saw a set of her lips that was not
natural.
“You never suspected anything of the kind?”
she repeated.
“No, ma’am and it would take
strong testimony to make me believe it.”
“Why so, pray?”
“I should have thought but it is
no matter what I thought about it!”
“Nay, if I ask you, it is matter.
Why should it be hard to believe, of Mr. Rhys especially?”
“Nothing; only I
should have thought, if he liked any one, a woman, that
she would have gone with him.”
“You forget where he was bound
to go. Do you think many women would have chosen
to go with him to such a home perhaps for
the remainder of their lives? I think many would
have hesitated.”
“But you forget for what
he was going; and any woman whom he would have liked,
would have liked his object too.”
“You think so,” said Mrs.
Caxton; “but I cannot wonder at his having doubted.
There are a great many questions about going such a
journey, my dear.”
“And did the lady refuse to
go?” said Eleanor bending over her work and
speaking huskily.
“I do not think he ever asked her. I almost
wish he had.”
“Almost, aunt Caxton?
Why he may have done her the greatest wrong.
She might like him without his knowing it; it was not
fair to go without giving her the chance of saying
what she would do.”
“Well, he is gone,” said
Mrs. Caxton; “and he went alone. I think
men make mistakes sometimes.”
Eleanor sewed on nervously, with a
more desperate haste than she knew, or than was in
the least called for by the work in hand. Mrs.
Caxton watched her, and turned away to the contemplation
of the fire.
“Did the thought ever occur
to you, Eleanor,” she went on very gravely,
“that he fancied you?”
Eleanor’s glance up was even
pitiful in its startled appeal.
“No, ma’am, of course
not!” she said hastily. “Except O
aunt Caxton, why do you ask me such a thing!”
“Except, my dear?”
“Except a foolish fancy of an
hour,” said Eleanor in overwhelmed confusion.
“One day, for a little time aunt Caxton,
how can you ask me such a thing?”
“I had a little story to tell
you, my dear; and I wanted to make sure that I should
do no harm in telling it. What is there so dreadful
in such a question?”
But Eleanor only brushed away a hot
tear from her flushed face and went on with her sewing.
Or essayed to do it, for Mrs. Caxton thought her vision
seemed to be not very clear.
“What made you think so that
time, Eleanor? and what is the matter, my dear?”
“It hurts me, aunt Caxton, the
question. You know we were friends, and I liked
him very much, as I had reason; but I never
had cause to fancy that he thought anything of me only
once I fancied it without cause.”
“On what occasion, my love?”
“It was only a little thing a
nothing a chance word. I saw immediately
that I was mistaken.”
“Did the thought displease you?”
“Aunt Caxton, why should you
bring up such a thing now?” said Eleanor in
very great distress.
“Did it displease you, Eleanor?”
“No aunty” said the girl; and
her head dropped in her hands then.
“My love,” Mrs. Caxton
said very tenderly, “I knew this before; I thought
I did; but it was best to bring it out openly, for
I could not else have executed my commission.
I lave a message from Mr. Rhys to you, Eleanor.”
“A message to me?” said Eleanor without
raising her head.
“Yes. You were not mistaken.”
“In what?”
Eleanor looked up; and amidst sorrow
and shame and confusion, there was a light of fire,
like the touch the summer sun gives to the mountain
tops before he gets up. Mrs. Caxton looked at
her flushed tearful face, and the hidden light in
her eye; and her next words were as gentle as the
very fall of the sunbeams themselves.
“My love, it is true.”
“What, aunt Caxton?”
“You were not mistaken.”
“In what, ma’am?”
“In thinking what you thought
that day, when something a mere nothing made
you think that Mr. Rhys liked you.”
“But, aunty,” said Eleanor,
a scarlet flood refilling the cheeks which had partially
faded, “I had never the least reason
to think so again.”
“That is Mr. Rhys’s affair.
But you may believe it now, for he told me; and I
give it to you on his own testimony.”
It was curious to Mrs. Caxton to see
Eleanor’s face. She did not hide it; she
turned it a little away from her aunt’s fill
view and sat very still, while the intense flush passed
away and left only a nameless rosy glow, that almost
reminded Mrs. Caxton of the perfume as well as of
the colour of the flower it was likened to. There
was a certain unfolding sweetness in Eleanor’s
face, that was most like the opening of a rosebud
just getting into full blossom; but the lips, unbent
into happy lines, were a little shame-faced, and would
not open to speak a word or ask another question.
So they both sat still; the younger and elder lady.
“Do you want me to tell you any more, Eleanor?”
“Why do you tell me this at
all now, aunt Caxton?” Eleanor said very slowly
and without stirring.
“Mr. Rhys desired I should.”
“Why, aunt Caxton?”
“Why do gentlemen generally
desire such things to be made known to young ladies?”
“But ma’am” said Eleanor,
the crimson starting again.
“Well, my dear?”
“There is the whole breadth of the earth between
us.”
“Ships traverse it,” said Mrs. Caxton
coolly.
“Do you mean that he is coming
home?” said Eleanor. Her face was a study,
for its changing lights; too quick, too mingled, too
subtle in their expression, to be described.
So it was at this instant. Half eager, and half
shame-faced; an unmistakeable glow of delight, and
yet something that was very like shrinking.
“No, my love,” Mrs. Caxton
made answer “I do not mean that.
He would not leave his place and his work, even for
you.”
“But then, ma’am ”
“What all this signifies? you
would ask. Are you sorry do you feel
any regret that it should be made known
to you?”
“No, ma’am,” said Eleanor low, and
hanging her head.
“What it signifies, I do not
know. That depends upon the answer to a very
practical question which I must now put to you.
If Mr. Rhys were stationed in England and could tell
you all this himself, what would you say to him in
answer?”
“I could give him but one, aunt
Caxton,” said Eleanor in the same manner.
“And that would be a grant of his demand?”
“You know it would, ma’am, without asking
me.”
“Now we come to the question.
He cannot leave his work to come to you. Is your
regard for him enough to make you go to Fiji?”
“Not without asking, aunt Caxton,” Eleanor
said, turning away.
“Suppose he has asked you.”
“But dear aunt Caxton,”
Eleanor said in a troubled voice, “he never
said one word to me of his liking for me, nor to draw
out my feeling towards him.”
“Suppose he has said it.”
“How, ma’am? By word, or in writing?”
“In writing.”
Eleanor was silent a little, with
her head turned away; then she said in a subdued way,
“May I have it, aunt Caxton?”
“My dear, I was not to give
them to you except I found that you were favourably
disposed towards the object of them. If you ask
me for them again, it must be upon that understanding.”
“Will you please to give them
to me, aunt Caxton,” Eleanor said in the same
subdued tone.
Mrs. Caxton rose and went to a secretary
in the room for one or two papers, which she brought
and put in Eleanor’s hand. Then folding
her arms round her, stooped down and kissed the turned-away
face. Eleanor rose up to meet the embrace, and
they held each other fast for a little while, neither
in any condition to speak.
“The Lord bless you, my child!”
said Mrs. Caxton as she released her. “You
must make these letters a matter of prayer. And
take care that you do the Lord’s will in this
business not your own.”
“Aunt Caxton,” said Eleanor
presently, “why was this not told me long ago before
Mr. Rhys went away?” She spoke the words with
difficulty.
“It is too long a story to tell
to-night,” Mrs. Caxton said after hesitating.
“He was entirely ignorant of what your feeling
might be towards him ignorant too how far
you might be willing to do and dare for Christ’s
sake and doubtful how far the world and
Mr. Carlisle might be able to prevail with you if
they had a fair chance. He could not risk taking
a wife to Fiji who had not fairly counted the cost.”
“He was so doubtful of me, and
yet liked me?” said Eleanor.
“My love, there is no accounting
for these things,” Mrs. Caxton said with a smile.
“And he left these with you to give to me?”
“One was left the
other was sent. One comes from Fiji. I will
tell you about them to-morrow. It is too long
a story for to-night; and you have quite enough to
think about already. My dear Eleanor!”
They parted without more words, only
with another speaking embrace, more expressive than
words; and without looking at the other each went
to her own room. Eleanor’s was cosy and
bright in winter as well as in summer; a fire of the
peculiar fuel used in the region of the neighbourhood,
made of cakes of coal and sand, glowed in the grate,
and the whole colouring of the drapery and the furniture
was of that warm rich cast which comforts the eye
and not a little disposes the mind to be comfortable
in conformity. The only wood fire used in the
house was the one in the sitting parlour. Before
her grate-full of glowing coals Eleanor sat down;
and looked at the two letters she held in her hand.
Looked at the handwriting too, with curious scrutiny,
before she ventured to open and read either paper.
Wondered too, with an odd side thought, why her fingers
should tremble so in handling these, when no letter
of Mr. Carlisle’s writing had ever reminded her
that her fingers had nerves belonging to them.
One was a little letter, which Mrs. Caxton had told
her was the first to be read; it was addressed, “In
the hand of Mrs. Caxton, for Miss Eleanor Powle.”
That note Eleanor’s little fingers opened with
as slight tearing of the paper as might be. It
was in few words indeed.
“Although I know that these
lines will never meet the eye of her for whom they
are written, unless she be favourably inclined both
to them and to me; yet in the extreme doubt which
possesses me whether that condition will be ever fulfilled,
and consequently whether I am not writing what no
one will ever read, I find it very difficult to say
anything. Something charges me with foolhardiness,
and something with presumption; but there is a something
else, which is stronger, that overthrows the charges
and bids me go on.
“If you ever see these lines,
dear Eleanor, you will know already what they have
to tell you; but it is fit you should have it in my
own words; that not the first place in
my heart but the second is yours;
and yours without any rivalry. There is one thing
dearer to me than you it is my King and
his service; after that, you have all the rest.
“What is it worth to you? anything?
and what will you say to me in reply?
“When you read this I shall
be at a distance before I can read your
answer I shall be at the other side of the globe.
I am not writing to gratify a vague sentiment, but
with a definite purpose and even, though
it mocks me, a definite hope. It is much to ask I
hardly dare put it in words it is hardly
possible that you should come to me.
But if you are ready to do and venture anything in
the service of Christ and if you are willing
to share a life that is wholly given to God to be
spent where and how he pleases, and that is to take
up its portion for the present, and probably for long,
in the depths of South Sea barbarism let
your own heart tell you what welcome you will receive.
“I can say no more. May
my Lord bless and keep you. May you know the
fulness of joy that Jesus can give his beloved.
May you want nothing that is good for you.
“R. Rhys.”
The other letter was longer. It was dated “Island
Vulanga, in the South
Seas, March, 18 ,
“My dear Eleanor
“I do not know what presumption
moves me to address you again, and from this far-away
place. I say to myself that it is presumption;
and yet I yield to the impulse. Perhaps it is
partly the wish to enjoy once at least even this fancied
communion with you, before some news comes which may
shut me off from it for ever. But I yield to the
temptation. I feel very far from you to-day;
the tops of the bread-fruit trees that I see from
my window, the banana tree with its bunches of fruit
and broad bright leaves just before my door this
very hot north wind that is blowing and making it
so difficult to do anything and almost to breathe all
remind me that I am in another land, and by the very
force of contrast, the fresh Welsh mountains, the
green meadows, the cool sweet air of Plassy and
your face come before me. Your face,
most of all. My mind can think of nothing it
would be so refreshing to see. I will write what
I please; for you will never read it if the reading
would be impertinent; and something tells me you will
read it.
“This is one of the hot months,
when exertion is at times very difficult. The
heat is oppressive and takes away strength and endurance.
But it is for my Master. That thought cures all.
To be weary for Christ, is not to be weary; it is
better than any delights without him. So each
day is a boon; and each day that I have been able to
fill up well with work for God, I rejoice and give
thanks. There is no limit here to the work to
be done; it presses upon us at all points. We
cannot teach all that ask for teaching; we can hardly
attend to the calls of the sick; hundreds and hundreds
stand stretching out their hands to us with the prayer
that we would come and tell them about religion, and
we cannot go! Our hands are already full; our
hearts break for the multitudes who want the truth,
to whom we cannot give it. We wish that every
talent we have were multiplied. We wish that we
could work all night as well as all day. Above
all I want to be more like my Lord. When
I am all Christ’s, then I shall be to
the praise of his glory, who called me out of darkness
into his marvellous light. I want to be altogether
holy; then I shall be quite happy and useful, and
there is no other way. Are you satisfied with
less, Eleanor? If you are, you are satisfied
with less than satisfies Christ. Find out where
you stand. Remember, it is as true for you as
it was for Paul to say, ‘Through Christ I can
do all things.’
“There are a few native Christians
here who are earnestly striving to be holy. But
around them all is darkness blacker than
you can even conceive. Where the Sun of righteousness
has shined, there the golden beams of Fiji’s
morning lie; it is a bright spot here and there; but
our eyes long for the day. We know and believe
it is coming. But when? I understand out
here the meaning of that recommendation ’Pray
ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would
send forth labourers into the harvest.’
You can hardly understand it in England. Do you
pray that prayer, Eleanor?
“Before I left England I wrote
you a note. Amid the exquisite pleasure and pain
of which lurked a hope without which it
would not have been written, but which I now see to
have been very visionary. It is possible that
circumstances may be so that the note may have been
read by you; in that case Mrs. Caxton will give you
this; but at the distance of space and time that intervenes
now, and with cooler thoughts and better knowledge,
I feel it to be scarcely possible that you should
comply with the request I was daring enough to make
to you. I do not expect it. I have ceased
to allow myself to hope for it. I think I was
unreasonable to ask and I will never think
you unreasonable for refusing so extravagant
a demand. Even if you were willing, your friends
would not allow it. And I would not disguise from
you that the difficulties and dangers to be met in
coming here, are more and greater than can possibly
have been represented to you. Humanly speaking,
that is; I have myself no fear, and never have felt
any. But the evils that surround us that
come to our knowledge and under our very eyes are
real and tangible and dreadful. So much the more
reason for our being here; but so much the
less likely that you, gently reared and delicately
cared for, will be allowed to risk your delicate nurture
in this land of savages. There is cannibalism
here, and to the most dreadful extent; there is all
the defilement of life and manners that must be where
human beings have no respect for humanity; and all
this must come more or less under the immediate knowledge
and notice of those that live here. The Lord God
is a sun and shield; we dwell in him and not in the
darkness; nevertheless our eyes see what our hearts
grieve over. I could not shield you from it entirely
were you here; you would have to endure what in England
you could not endure. There are minor trials
many and often to be encountered; some of which you
will have learned from other letters of the mission.
“The heathen around us are not
to be trusted, and will occasionally lay their hands
upon something we need very much, and carry it off.
Not long ago the house of Mr. Thomas, on a neighbouring
station, was entered at night and robbed of almost
all the wearing apparel it contained. The entrance
was effected silently, by cutting into the thin reed
and grass wall of the house; and nobody knew anything
of the matter till next morning. Then the signs
shewed that the depredators had been prepared to commit
violence if resisted. I do not know but
I am inclined to think such a thing would not happen
in my house. I have been enabled to gain the
good will of the people very generally, by kindness
to the sick, &c.; and two or three of the most powerful
chiefs in this vicinity have declared themselves each
formally my ’friend’ a title
of honour which I scrupulously give and take with them.
Nevertheless they are not to be relied upon. What
of that? The eternal God is our refuge!
After all I come back into feeling how safe we are,
rather than how exposed.
“Yet all I have told you is
true, and much more. Let no one come here who
does not love Christ well enough to suffer the loss
of all things for his sake, if necessary; for it may
be demanded of him. He wants the helmet of salvation
on his head; but with that, it does not matter where
we are glory to the Captain of our salvation!
Fiji is very near heaven, Eleanor; nearer than England;
and if I dared, I would say, I wish you were here; but
I do not dare. I do not know what is best.
I leave you to your own judgment of what you ought
to do, and to that better direction which will tell
you. For me, I know that I shall not want; not
so but that I can find my supply; and soon I shall
be where I shall not want at all. Meanwhile every
day is a glad day to me, for it is given to my Lord;
and Jesus is with me. The people hear the word
gladly, and with some fruit of it continually our hearts
are cheered. I would not be anywhere else than
I am. My choice would be, if I had my choice,
to live and die in Fiji.
“I dare not trust myself to
say the thoughts that come surging up for utterance;
it is wiser not. If my first note to you was presumptuous,
this at least is the writing of a calmer and wiser
man. I have resigned the expectations of a moment.
But it is no harm for me to say I love you as well
as ever; that I shall do, I think, till I die;
although I shall never see you again, and dare not
promise myself I shall ever again write to you.
It may be it will be best not, even as a friend, to
do that. Perhaps as a friend I could not.
It is not as a friend, that I sign myself now,
“Rowland Rhys.”
Poor Eleanor! She was of all
people in the world the least given to be sentimental
or soft-hearted in a foolish way; but strong as she
was, there was something in these letters or
some mixture of things that entered her
heart like an arrow through the joints of an armour,
and found her as defenceless. Tears came with
that resistless, ceaseless, measureless flow, as when
the secret nerve of tenderness has been reached, and
every barrier of pride or self-consideration is broken
down or passed over. So keen the touch was to
Eleanor, that weeping could not quiet it. After
all it was only a heavy summer shower not
a winter storm. Eleanor hushed her sobs at last
to begin her prayers; and there the rest of the night
left her. The morning was dawning grey in the
east, when she threw herself upon her bed for an hour’s
sleep. Sleep came then without waiting.
Perhaps Mrs. Caxton had not been much
more reposeful than her niece; for she was not the
first one down stairs. Eleanor was there before
her; Mrs. Caxton watched her as she came in; she was
ceremoniously putting the fire in best burning condition,
and brushing up the ashes from the hearth. As
Mrs. Caxton came near, Eleanor looked up and a silent
greeting passed between them; very affectionate, but
silent evidently of purpose. Neither of them
was ready to speak. The bell was rung, the servants
were gathered; and immediately after prayers breakfast
was brought in. It was a silent meal for the first
half of it. Mrs. Caxton still watched Eleanor,
whose eyes did not readily meet hers. What about
her? Her manner was as usual, one would have said,
yet it was not; nor was she. A little delicate
undefined difference made itself felt; and that Mrs.
Caxton was studying. A little added grace; a
little added deftness and alacrity; Mrs. Caxton had
seen it in that order taken of the fire before breakfast;
she saw it and read it then. And in Eleanor’s
face correspondingly there was the same difference;
impossible to tell where it lay, it was equally impossible
not to perceive it. Though her face was grave
enough, there was a beauty in the lines of it that
yesterday had not seen; a nameless witness in the
corners of her mouth, that told tales the tongue would
not. Mrs. Caxton looked on and saw it and read
it, for half the breakfast time, before she spoke.
Maybe she had a secret sigh or two to cover; but at
any rate there was nothing like that in her look or
her voice when she spoke.
“So you will go, Eleanor!”
Eleanor started, and coloured; then
looked down at her plate, the blush growing universal.
“Have you decided, my love?”
Eleanor leaned her head upon her hand,
as if with the question came the remembrance of last
night’s burden of thoughts; but her answer was
a quiet low “yes.”
“May I know for I
feel myself responsible to a degree in this matter, may
I know, on what ground?”
Eleanor’s look was worth five
hundred pounds. The little glance of surprise
and consciousness the flash of hidden light,
there was no need to ask from what magazine, answered
so completely, so involuntarily. She cast down
her eyes immediately and answered in words sedate
enough
“Because I am unable to come
to any other decision, ma’am.”
“But Eleanor, my dear,”
said Mrs. Caxton, “do you know, Mr.
Rhys himself would be unwilling you should come to
him for his own sake alone in Fiji.”
Eleanor turned away from the table
at that and covered her face with her hands; a perfect
rush of confusion bringing over face and neck and
almost even over the little white fingers, a suffusing
crimson glow. She spoke presently.
“I cannot say anything to that,
aunt Caxton. I have tried myself as well as I
can. I think I would go anywhere and do anything
where I saw clearly my work and my place were put
for me. I do not know anything more about it.”
“My love, that is enough.
I believe you. I entirely approve your decision.
I spoke, because I needed to ask the question he
would have asked if he had been here. Mr. Rhys
has written to me very stringently on the subject.”
“So he has to me, ma’am.”
“If you have settled that question
with your conscience, my dear, there is no more necessary
to be said about it. Conscience should be clear
on that point, and the question settled securely.
If it is not, you had better take time for thought
and self-searching.”
“I do not need it, aunt Caxton.”
Mrs. Caxton left her place and came
round to Eleanor, for the sole purpose of taking her
in her arms and kissing her. Grave, earnest kisses,
on brow and cheek, speaking a heart full of sympathy,
full of tenderness, full of appreciation of all that
this decision of Eleanor’s involved, full of
satisfaction with it too. A very unusual sort
of demonstration from Mrs. Caxton, as was the occasion
that called for it. Eleanor received it as the
seal of the whole business between them. Her
aunt’s arms detained her lovingly while she pressed
her lips to every part of Eleanor’s face; then
Mrs. Caxton went back to her place and poured herself
out another cup of coffee. Sentiment she had plenty;
she was not in the least bit sentimental. She
creamed her coffee thoughtfully and broke bread and
eat it, before she came out with another question.
“When will you go, Eleanor?”
Eleanor looked up doubtfully. “Where, aunt
Caxton?”
“To Fiji.”
There seemed to be some irresolution
or uncertainty in the girl’s mind; for she hesitated.
“Aunt Caxton, I doubt much my mother
will oppose my going.”
“I think she will. But
I think also that her opposition can be overcome.
When will you write to her?”
“I will write to-day, ma’am.”
“We must have an answer before
we send any other letters. Supposing she does
not oppose, or that her opposition is set aside, I
come back to my question. When will you go?”
Eleanor looked up doubtfully again.
“I don’t know, ma’am I
suppose opportunities of going only occur now and
then.”
“That is all with
long intervals sometimes. Opportunities for your
going would come only rarely. You must think about
it, Eleanor; for we must know what we are to tell
Mr. Rhys.”
Eleanor was silent; her colour went and came.
“You must think about it, my
dear. If you write to Mr. Rhys to-day and send
it, we may get an answer from him possibly in twenty
months possibly in twenty-four months.
Then if you wait four or five months for an opportunity
to make the voyage, and have a reasonably good passage,
you may see your friend in three years from now.
But it might well happen that letters might be delayed,
and that you might wait much longer than four or five
months for a ship and company in which you could sail;
so that the three years might be nearer four.”
“I have thought of all that,
aunt Caxton,” Eleanor said, while the colour
which had been varying in her cheeks fixed itself in
two deep crimson spots.
Mrs. Caxton was now silent on her
part, slowly finishing her coffee and putting the
cups together on the tray. She left it for her
niece to speak next.
“I have thought of all that,
aunt Caxton,” Eleanor repeated after a little
while, “and ”
“Well my love?”
“Aunt Caxton,” said the
girl, looking up now while her cheeks and brow were
all one crimson flush “is it unmaidenly
in me would it be to go so,
without being asked?”
“Has he not asked you?”
“Yes ma’am. But ”
“What?”
“Not since he got there.”
“Have you reason to think his mind is altered
on the subject?”
“No, ma’am,” said Eleanor, drooping
her head.
“What does your own feeling bid you do, my love?”
“I have thought it all over,
aunt Caxton,” said the girl slowly, “I
did that last night; I have thought of everything about
it; and my feeling was ”
“Well, my love?”
“My feeling, as far as I am
concerned was to take the first good opportunity
that offered.”
“My love, that is just what
I thought you would do. And what I would have
you do, if you go at all. It is not unmaidenly.
Simple honest frankness, is the most maidenly thing
in the world, when it is a woman’s time to speak.
The fact that your speaking must be action does not
alter the matter. When it takes two years for
people to hear from each other, life would very soon
be spent in the asking of a few questions and getting
the answers to them. I am a disinterested witness,
Eleanor; for when you are gone, all I care for in this
world is gone. You are my own child to me now.”
Eleanor’s head bent lower.
“But I am glad to have you go,
nevertheless, my child. I think Mr. Rhys wants
you even more than I do; and I have known for some
time that you wanted something. And besides I
shall only be separated from you in body.”
Eleanor made no response.
“What are you going to do now?”
was Mrs. Caxton’s question in her usual calm
tone.
“Write to mamma.”
“Very well. Do not send
your letter to her without letting mine go with it.”
“But aunt Caxton,” said
Eleanor lifting up her head, “my only
fear is I am quite satisfied in my own
mind, and I do not care for people my only
fear is, lest Mr. Rhys himself should think I come
too easily. You know, he is fastidious in his
notions.” She spoke with great difficulty
and with her face a flame.
“Your fear will go away when
you have heard my story,” said Mrs. Caxton tranquilly.
“I will give you that to-night. He is fastidious;
but he is a sensible man.”
Quieted with which suggestion, Eleanor
went off to her desk.