Willst Du Deine Macht verkünden,
Wahle sie die frei von
Sunden,
Steh’n in Deinem ew’gen Haus!
Deine Geister sende aus!
Die Unsterblichen, die Reinen,
Die nicht fühlen, die
nicht weinen!
Nicht die zarte Jungfrau wahle,
Nicht der Hirtin weiche Seele!
Schiller.
Once upon a time I taught school in
the hills of Tennessee, where the broad dark vale
of the Mississippi begins to roll and crumple to greet
the Alleghanies. I was a Fisk student then, and
all Fisk men thought that Tennessee beyond
the Veil was theirs alone, and in vacation
time they sallied forth in lusty bands to meet the
county school-commissioners. Young and happy,
I too went, and I shall not soon forget that summer,
seventeen years ago.
First, there was a Teachers’
Institute at the county-seat; and there distinguished
guests of the superintendent taught the teachers fractions
and spelling and other mysteries, white
teachers in the morning, Negroes at night. A
picnic now and then, and a supper, and the rough world
was softened by laughter and song. I remember
how But I wander.
There came a day when all the teachers
left the Institute and began the hunt for schools.
I learn from hearsay (for my mother was mortally
afraid of firearms) that the hunting of ducks and bears
and men is wonderfully interesting, but I am sure
that the man who has never hunted a country school
has something to learn of the pleasures of the chase.
I see now the white, hot roads lazily rise and fall
and wind before me under the burning July sun; I feel
the deep weariness of heart and limb as ten, eight,
six miles stretch relentlessly ahead; I feel my heart
sink heavily as I hear again and again, “Got
a teacher? Yes.” So I walked on and
on horses were too expensive until
I had wandered beyond railways, beyond stage lines,
to a land of “varmints” and rattlesnakes,
where the coming of a stranger was an event, and men
lived and died in the shadow of one blue hill.
Sprinkled over hill and dale lay cabins
and farmhouses, shut out from the world by the forests
and the rolling hills toward the east. There
I found at last a little school. Josie told me
of it; she was a thin, homely girl of twenty, with
a dark-brown face and thick, hard hair. I had
crossed the stream at Watertown, and rested under the
great willows; then I had gone to the little cabin
in the lot where Josie was resting on her way to town.
The gaunt farmer made me welcome, and Josie, hearing
my errand, told me anxiously that they wanted a school
over the hill; that but once since the war had a teacher
been there; that she herself longed to learn, and
thus she ran on, talking fast and loud, with much
earnestness and energy.
Next morning I crossed the tall round
hill, lingered to look at the blue and yellow mountains
stretching toward the Carolinas, then plunged into
the wood, and came out at Josie’s home.
It was a dull frame cottage with four rooms, perched
just below the brow of the hill, amid peach-trees.
The father was a quiet, simple soul, calmly ignorant,
with no touch of vulgarity. The mother was different, strong,
bustling, and energetic, with a quick, restless tongue,
and an ambition to live “like folks.”
There was a crowd of children. Two boys had gone
away. There remained two growing girls; a shy
midget of eight; John, tall, awkward, and eighteen;
Jim, younger, quicker, and better looking; and two
babies of indefinite age. Then there was Josie
herself. She seemed to be the centre of the
family: always busy at service, or at home, or
berry-picking; a little nervous and inclined to scold,
like her mother, yet faithful, too, like her father.
She had about her a certain fineness, the shadow
of an unconscious moral heroism that would willingly
give all of life to make life broader, deeper, and
fuller for her and hers. I saw much of this
family afterwards, and grew to love them for their
honest efforts to be decent and comfortable, and for
their knowledge of their own ignorance. There
was with them no affectation. The mother would
scold the father for being so “easy”;
Josie would roundly berate the boys for carelessness;
and all knew that it was a hard thing to dig a living
out of a rocky side-hill.
I secured the school. I remember
the day I rode horseback out to the commissioner’s
house with a pleasant young white fellow who wanted
the white school. The road ran down the bed
of a stream; the sun laughed and the water jingled,
and we rode on. “Come in,” said the
commissioner, “come in. Have
a seat. Yes, that certificate will do.
Stay to dinner. What do you want a month?”
“Oh,” thought I, “this is lucky”;
but even then fell the awful shadow of the Veil, for
they ate first, then I alone.
The schoolhouse was a log hut, where
Colonel Wheeler used to shelter his corn. It
sat in a lot behind a rail fence and thorn bushes,
near the sweetest of springs. There was an entrance
where a door once was, and within, a massive rickety
fireplace; great chinks between the logs served as
windows. Furniture was scarce. A pale blackboard
crouched in the corner. My desk was made of
three boards, reinforced at critical points, and my
chair, borrowed from the landlady, had to be returned
every night. Seats for the children these
puzzled me much. I was haunted by a New England
vision of neat little desks and chairs, but, alas!
the reality was rough plank benches without backs,
and at times without legs. They had the one
virtue of making naps dangerous, possibly
fatal, for the floor was not to be trusted.
It was a hot morning late in July
when the school opened. I trembled when I heard
the patter of little feet down the dusty road, and
saw the growing row of dark solemn faces and bright
eager eyes facing me. First came Josie and her
brothers and sisters. The longing to know, to
be a student in the great school at Nashville, hovered
like a star above this child-woman amid her work and
worry, and she studied doggedly. There were
the Dowells from their farm over toward Alexandria, Fanny,
with her smooth black face and wondering eyes; Martha,
brown and dull; the pretty girl-wife of a brother,
and the younger brood.
There were the Burkes, two
brown and yellow lads, and a tiny haughty-eyed girl.
Fat Reuben’s little chubby girl came, with golden
face and old-gold hair, faithful and solemn.
’Thenie was on hand early, a jolly,
ugly, good-hearted girl, who slyly dipped snuff and
looked after her little bow-legged brother. When
her mother could spare her, ’Tildy came, a
midnight beauty, with starry eyes and tapering limbs;
and her brother, correspondingly homely. And
then the big boys, the hulking Lawrences;
the lazy Neills, unfathered sons of mother and daughter;
Hickman, with a stoop in his shoulders; and the rest.
There they sat, nearly thirty of them,
on the rough benches, their faces shading from a pale
cream to a deep brown, the little feet bare and swinging,
the eyes full of expectation, with here and there a
twinkle of mischief, and the hands grasping Webster’s
blue-black spelling-book. I loved my school,
and the fine faith the children had in the wisdom
of their teacher was truly marvellous. We read
and spelled together, wrote a little, picked flowers,
sang, and listened to stories of the world beyond
the hill. At times the school would dwindle
away, and I would start out. I would visit Mun
Eddings, who lived in two very dirty rooms, and ask
why little Lugene, whose flaming face seemed ever
ablaze with the dark-red hair uncombed, was absent
all last week, or why I missed so often the inimitable
rags of Mack and Ed. Then the father, who worked Colonel
Wheeler’s farm on shares, would tell me how
the crops needed the boys; and the thin, slovenly mother,
whose face was pretty when washed, assured me that
Lugene must mind the baby. “But we’ll
start them again next week.” When the Lawrences
stopped, I knew that the doubts of the old folks about
book-learning had conquered again, and so, toiling
up the hill, and getting as far into the cabin as
possible, I put Cicero “pro Archia Poeta”
into the simplest English with local applications,
and usually convinced them for a week or
so.
On Friday nights I often went home
with some of the children, sometimes to
Doc Burke’s farm. He was a great, loud,
thin Black, ever working, and trying to buy the seventy-five
acres of hill and dale where he lived; but people
said that he would surely fail, and the “white
folks would get it all.” His wife was a
magnificent Amazon, with saffron face and shining
hair, uncorseted and barefooted, and the children
were strong and beautiful. They lived in a one-and-a-half-room
cabin in the hollow of the farm, near the spring.
The front room was full of great fat white beds, scrupulously
neat; and there were bad chromos on the walls,
and a tired centre-table. In the tiny back kitchen
I was often invited to “take out and help”
myself to fried chicken and wheat biscuit, “meat”
and corn pone, string-beans and berries. At
first I used to be a little alarmed at the approach
of bedtime in the one lone bedroom, but embarrassment
was very deftly avoided. First, all the children
nodded and slept, and were stowed away in one great
pile of goose feathers; next, the mother and the father
discreetly slipped away to the kitchen while I went
to bed; then, blowing out the dim light, they retired
in the dark. In the morning all were up and
away before I thought of awaking. Across the
road, where fat Reuben lived, they all went outdoors
while the teacher retired, because they did not boast
the luxury of a kitchen.
I liked to stay with the Dowells,
for they had four rooms and plenty of good country
fare. Uncle Bird had a small, rough farm, all
woods and hills, miles from the big road; but he was
full of tales, he preached now and then, and
with his children, berries, horses, and wheat he was
happy and prosperous. Often, to keep the peace,
I must go where life was less lovely; for instance,
’Tildy’s mother was incorrigibly dirty,
Reuben’s larder was limited seriously, and herds
of untamed insects wandered over the Eddingses’
beds. Best of all I loved to go to Josie’s,
and sit on the porch, eating peaches, while the mother
bustled and talked: how Josie had bought the
sewing-machine; how Josie worked at service in winter,
but that four dollars a month was “mighty little”
wages; how Josie longed to go away to school, but that
it “looked like” they never could get
far enough ahead to let her; how the crops failed
and the well was yet unfinished; and, finally, how
“mean” some of the white folks were.
For two summers I lived in this little
world; it was dull and humdrum. The girls looked
at the hill in wistful longing, and the boys fretted
and haunted Alexandria. Alexandria was “town,” a
straggling, lazy village of houses, churches, and
shops, and an aristocracy of Toms, Dicks, and Captains.
Cuddled on the hill to the north was the village
of the colored folks, who lived in three- or four-room
unpainted cottages, some neat and homelike, and some
dirty. The dwellings were scattered rather aimlessly,
but they centred about the twin temples of the hamlet,
the Methodist, and the Hard-Shell Baptist churches.
These, in turn, leaned gingerly on a sad-colored
schoolhouse. Hither my little world wended its
crooked way on Sunday to meet other worlds, and gossip,
and wonder, and make the weekly sacrifice with frenzied
priest at the altar of the “old-time religion.”
Then the soft melody and mighty cadences of Negro
song fluttered and thundered.
I have called my tiny community a
world, and so its isolation made it; and yet there
was among us but a half-awakened common consciousness,
sprung from common joy and grief, at burial, birth,
or wedding; from a common hardship in poverty, poor
land, and low wages; and, above all, from the sight
of the Veil that hung between us and Opportunity.
All this caused us to think some thoughts together;
but these, when ripe for speech, were spoken in various
languages. Those whose eyes twenty-five and
more years before had seen “the glory of the
coming of the Lord,” saw in every present hindrance
or help a dark fatalism bound to bring all things
right in His own good time. The mass of those
to whom slavery was a dim recollection of childhood
found the world a puzzling thing: it asked little
of them, and they answered with little, and yet it
ridiculed their offering. Such a paradox they
could not understand, and therefore sank into listless
indifference, or shiftlessness, or reckless bravado.
There were, however, some such as Josie,
Jim, and Ben to whom War, Hell, and Slavery
were but childhood tales, whose young appetites had
been whetted to an edge by school and story and half-awakened
thought. Ill could they be content, born without
and beyond the World. And their weak wings beat
against their barriers, barriers of caste,
of youth, of life; at last, in dangerous moments,
against everything that opposed even a whim.
The ten years that follow youth, the
years when first the realization comes that life is
leading somewhere, these were the years
that passed after I left my little school. When
they were past, I came by chance once more to the
walls of Fisk University, to the halls of the chapel
of melody. As I lingered there in the joy and
pain of meeting old school-friends, there swept over
me a sudden longing to pass again beyond the blue
hill, and to see the homes and the school of other
days, and to learn how life had gone with my school-children;
and I went.
Josie was dead, and the gray-haired
mother said simply, “We’ve had a heap
of trouble since you’ve been away.”
I had feared for Jim. With a cultured parentage
and a social caste to uphold him, he might have made
a venturesome merchant or a West Point cadet.
But here he was, angry with life and reckless; and
when Fanner Durham charged him with stealing wheat,
the old man had to ride fast to escape the stones which
the furious fool hurled after him. They told
Jim to run away; but he would not run, and the constable
came that afternoon. It grieved Josie, and great
awkward John walked nine miles every day to see his
little brother through the bars of Lebanon jail.
At last the two came back together in the dark night.
The mother cooked supper, and Josie emptied her purse,
and the boys stole away. Josie grew thin and
silent, yet worked the more. The hill became
steep for the quiet old father, and with the boys
away there was little to do in the valley. Josie
helped them to sell the old farm, and they moved nearer
town. Brother Dennis, the carpenter, built a
new house with six rooms; Josie toiled a year in Nashville,
and brought back ninety dollars to furnish the house
and change it to a home.
When the spring came, and the birds
twittered, and the stream ran proud and full, little
sister Lizzie, bold and thoughtless, flushed with the
passion of youth, bestowed herself on the tempter,
and brought home a nameless child. Josie shivered
and worked on, with the vision of schooldays all fled,
with a face wan and tired, worked until,
on a summer’s day, some one married another;
then Josie crept to her mother like a hurt child,
and slept and sleeps.
I paused to scent the breeze as I
entered the valley. The Lawrences have gone, father
and son forever, and the other son lazily
digs in the earth to live. A new young widow
rents out their cabin to fat Reuben. Reuben
is a Baptist preacher now, but I fear as lazy as ever,
though his cabin has three rooms; and little Ella has
grown into a bouncing woman, and is ploughing corn
on the hot hillside. There are babies a-plenty,
and one half-witted girl. Across the valley is
a house I did not know before, and there I found,
rocking one baby and expecting another, one of my
schoolgirls, a daughter of Uncle Bird Dowell.
She looked somewhat worried with her new duties, but
soon bristled into pride over her neat cabin and the
tale of her thrifty husband, and the horse and cow,
and the farm they were planning to buy.
My log schoolhouse was gone.
In its place stood Progress; and Progress, I understand,
is necessarily ugly. The crazy foundation stones
still marked the former site of my poor little cabin,
and not far away, on six weary boulders, perched a
jaunty board house, perhaps twenty by thirty feet,
with three windows and a door that locked. Some
of the window-glass was broken, and part of an old
iron stove lay mournfully under the house. I
peeped through the window half reverently, and found
things that were more familiar. The blackboard
had grown by about two feet, and the seats were still
without backs. The county owns the lot now, I
hear, and every year there is a session of school.
As I sat by the spring and looked on the Old and the
New I felt glad, very glad, and yet
After two long drinks I started on.
There was the great double log-house on the corner.
I remembered the broken, blighted family that used
to live there. The strong, hard face of the mother,
with its wilderness of hair, rose before me.
She had driven her husband away, and while I taught
school a strange man lived there, big and jovial,
and people talked. I felt sure that Ben and ’Tildy
would come to naught from such a home. But this
is an odd world; for Ben is a busy farmer in Smith
County, “doing well, too,” they say, and
he had cared for little ’Tildy until last spring,
when a lover married her. A hard life the lad
had led, toiling for meat, and laughed at because he
was homely and crooked. There was Sam Carlon,
an impudent old skinflint, who had definite notions
about “niggers,” and hired Ben a summer
and would not pay him. Then the hungry boy gathered
his sacks together, and in broad daylight went into
Carlon’s corn; and when the hard-fisted farmer
set upon him, the angry boy flew at him like a beast.
Doc Burke saved a murder and a lynching that day.
The story reminded me again of the
Burkes, and an impatience seized me to know who won
in the battle, Doc or the seventy-five acres.
For it is a hard thing to make a farm out of nothing,
even in fifteen years. So I hurried on, thinking
of the Burkes. They used to have a certain magnificent
barbarism about them that I liked. They were
never vulgar, never immoral, but rather rough and
primitive, with an unconventionality that spent itself
in loud guffaws, slaps on the back, and naps in the
corner. I hurried by the cottage of the misborn
Neill boys. It was empty, and they were grown
into fat, lazy farm-hands. I saw the home of
the Hickmans, but Albert, with his stooping shoulders,
had passed from the world. Then I came to the
Burkes’ gate and peered through; the enclosure
looked rough and untrimmed, and yet there were the
same fences around the old farm save to the left, where
lay twenty-five other acres. And lo! the cabin
in the hollow had climbed the hill and swollen to
a half-finished six-room cottage.
The Burkes held a hundred acres, but
they were still in debt. Indeed, the gaunt father
who toiled night and day would scarcely be happy out
of debt, being so used to it. Some day he must
stop, for his massive frame is showing decline.
The mother wore shoes, but the lion-like physique
of other days was broken. The children had grown
up. Rob, the image of his father, was loud and
rough with laughter. Birdie, my school baby
of six, had grown to a picture of maiden beauty, tall
and tawny. “Edgar is gone,” said
the mother, with head half bowed, “gone
to work in Nashville; he and his father couldn’t
agree.”
Little Doc, the boy born since the
time of my school, took me horseback down the creek
next morning toward Farmer Dowell’s. The
road and the stream were battling for mastery, and
the stream had the better of it. We splashed
and waded, and the merry boy, perched behind me, chattered
and laughed. He showed me where Simon Thompson
had bought a bit of ground and a home; but his daughter
Lana, a plump, brown, slow girl, was not there.
She had married a man and a farm twenty miles away.
We wound on down the stream till we came to a gate
that I did not recognize, but the boy insisted that
it was “Uncle Bird’s.” The
farm was fat with the growing crop. In that
little valley was a strange stillness as I rode up;
for death and marriage had stolen youth and left age
and childhood there. We sat and talked that night
after the chores were done. Uncle Bird was grayer,
and his eyes did not see so well, but he was still
jovial. We talked of the acres bought, one
hundred and twenty-five, of the new guest-chamber
added, of Martha’s marrying. Then we talked
of death: Fanny and Fred were gone; a shadow
hung over the other daughter, and when it lifted she
was to go to Nashville to school. At last we
spoke of the neighbors, and as night fell, Uncle Bird
told me how, on a night like that, ’Thenie came
wandering back to her home over yonder, to escape the
blows of her husband. And next morning she died
in the home that her little bow-legged brother, working
and saving, had bought for their widowed mother.
My journey was done, and behind me
lay hill and dale, and Life and Death. How shall
man measure Progress there where the dark-faced Josie
lies? How many heartfuls of sorrow shall balance
a bushel of wheat? How hard a thing is life to
the lowly, and yet how human and real! And all
this life and love and strife and failure, is
it the twilight of nightfall or the flush of some
faint-dawning day?
Thus sadly musing, I rode to Nashville
in the Jim Crow car.