The able-bodied men of the village
were at work, the children were at school singing
the multiplication-table lullaby, while the wives and
mothers at home nursed the baby with one hand and did
the housework with the other. At the end of the
village an old man past work sat at a rough deal table
under the creaking signboard of the Cauliflower, gratefully
drinking from a mug of ale supplied by a chance traveller
who sat opposite him.
The shade of the elms was pleasant
and the ale good. The traveller filled his pipe
and, glancing at the dusty hedges and the white road
baking in the sun, called for the mugs to be refilled,
and pushed his pouch towards his companion. After
which he paid a compliment to the appearance of the
village.
“It ain’t what it was
when I was a boy,” quavered the old man, filling
his pipe with trembling fingers. “I mind
when the grindstone was stuck just outside the winder
o’ the forge instead o’ being one side
as it now is; and as for the shop winder it’s
twice the size it was when I was a young ’un.”
He lit his pipe with the scientific
accuracy of a smoker of sixty years’ standing,
and shook his head solemnly as he regarded his altered
birthplace. Then his colour heightened and his
dim eye flashed.
“It’s the people about
’ere ’as changed more than the place ’as,”
he said, with sudden fierceness; “there’s
a set o’ men about here nowadays as are no good
to anybody; reg’lar raskels. And if you’ve
the mind to listen I can tell you of one or two as
couldn’t be beat in London itself.
“There’s Tom Adams for
one. He went and started wot ’e called a
Benevolent Club. Threepence a week each we paid
agin sickness or accident, and Tom was secretary.
Three weeks arter the club was started he caught a
chill and was laid up for a month. He got back
to work a week, and then ’e sprained something
in ’is leg; and arter that was well ’is
inside went wrong. We didn’t think much
of it at first, not understanding figures; but at
the end o’ six months the club hadn’t got
a farthing, and they was in Tom’s debt one pound
seventeen-and-six.
“He isn’t the only one
o’ that sort in the place, either. There
was Herbert Richardson. He went to town, and
came back with the idea of a Goose Club for Christmas.
We paid twopence a week into that for pretty near
ten months, and then Herbert went back to town agin,
and all we ’ear of ’im, through his sister,
is that he’s still there and doing well, and
don’t know when he’ll be back.
“But the artfullest and worst
man in this place and that’s saying
a good deal, mind you is Bob Pretty.
Deep is no word for ’im. There’s no
way of being up to ’im. It’s through
’im that we lost our Flower Show; and, if you’d
like to ‘ear the rights o’ that, I don’t
suppose there’s anybody in this place as knows
as much about it as I do barring Bob hisself
that is, but ’e wouldn’t tell it to you
as plain as I can.
“We’d only ’ad the
Flower Show one year, and little anybody thought that
the next one was to be the last. The first year
you might smell the place a mile off in the summer,
and on the day of the show people came from a long
way round, and brought money to spend at the Cauliflower
and other places.
“It was started just after we
got our new parson, and Mrs. Pawlett, the parson’s
wife, ’is name being Pawlett, thought as she’d
encourage men to love their ’omes and be better
’usbands by giving a prize every year for the
best cottage garden. Three pounds was the prize,
and a metal tea-pot with writing on it.
“As I said, we only ’ad
it two years. The fust year the garden as got
it was a picter, and Bill Chambers, ’im as won
the prize, used to say as ‘e was out o’
pocket by it, taking ’is time and the money ’e
spent on flowers. Not as we believed that, you
understand, ’specially as Bill did ’is
very best to get it the next year, too. ’E
didn’t get it, and though p’r’aps
most of us was glad ’e didn’t, we was all
very surprised at the way it turned out in the end.
“The Flower Show was to be ‘eld
on the 5th o’ July, just as a’most everything
about here was at its best. On the 15th of June
Bill Chambers’s garden seemed to be leading,
but Peter Smith and Joe Gubbins and Sam Jones and
Henery Walker was almost as good, and it was understood
that more than one of ’em had got a surprise
which they’d produce at the last moment, too
late for the others to copy. We used to sit up
here of an evening at this Cauliflower public-house
and put money on it. I put mine on Henery Walker,
and the time I spent in ’is garden ’elping
’im is a sin and a shame to think of.
“Of course some of ’em
used to make fun of it, and Bob Pretty was the worst
of ’em all. He was always a lazy, good-for-nothing
man, and ’is garden was a disgrace. He’d
chuck down any rubbish in it: old bones, old
tins, bits of an old bucket, anything to make it untidy.
He used to larf at ’em awful about their gardens
and about being took up by the parson’s wife.
Nobody ever see ’im do any work, real ’ard
work, but the smell from ’is place at dinner-time
was always nice, and I believe that he knew more about
game than the parson hisself did.
“It was the day arter this one
I’m speaking about, the 16th o’ June,
that the trouble all began, and it came about in a
very eggstrordinary way. George English, a quiet
man getting into years, who used when ’e was
younger to foller the sea, and whose only misfortin
was that ’e was a brother-in-law o’ Bob
Pretty’s, his sister marrying Bob while ’e
was at sea and knowing nothing about it, ’ad
a letter come from a mate of his who ’ad gone
to Australia to live. He’d ’ad letters
from Australia before, as we all knew from Miss Wicks
at the post-office, but this one upset him altogether.
He didn’t seem like to know what to do about
it.
“While he was wondering Bill
Chambers passed. He always did pass George’s
’ouse about that time in the evening, it being
on ’is way ’ome, and he saw George standing
at ’is gate with a letter in ’is ’and
looking very puzzled.
“‘Evenin’, George,’ ses
Bill.
“‘Evenin’,’ ses George.
“’Not bad news, I ‘ope?’
ses Bill, noticing ’is manner, and thinking
it was strange.
“‘No,’ ses
George. ’I’ve just ’ad a very
eggstrordinary letter from Australia,’ he ses,
‘that’s all.’
“Bill Chambers was always a
very inquisitive sort o’ man, and he stayed
and talked to George until George, arter fust making
him swear oaths that ’e wouldn’t tell
a soul, took ’im inside and showed ’im
the letter.
“It was more like a story-book
than a letter. George’s mate, John Biggs
by name, wrote to say that an uncle of his who had
just died, on ’is deathbed told him that thirty
years ago he ’ad been in this very village,
staying at this ’ere very Cauliflower, whose
beer we’re drinking now. In the night,
when everybody was asleep, he got up and went quiet-like
and buried a bag of five hundred and seventeen sovereigns
and one half-sovereign in one of the cottage gardens
till ’e could come for it agin. He didn’t
say ’ow he come by the money, and, when Bill
spoke about that, George English said that, knowing
the man, he was afraid ’e ’adn’t
come by it honest, but anyway his friend John Biggs
wanted it, and, wot was more, ’ad asked ’im
in the letter to get it for ’im.
“‘And wot I’m to
do about it, Bill,’ he ses, I don’t
know. All the directions he gives is, that ’e
thinks it was the tenth cottage on the right-’and
side of the road, coming down from the Cauliflower.
He thinks it’s the tenth, but ’e’s
not quite sure. Do you think I’d better
make it known and offer a reward of ten shillings,
say, to any one who finds it?’
“‘No,’ ses
Bill, shaking ’is ’ead. ’I should
hold on a bit if I was you, and think it over.
I shouldn’t tell another single soul, if I was
you.’
“‘I be’leeve you’re
right,’ ses George. ’John Biggs
would never forgive me if I lost that money for ’im.
You’ll remember about keeping it secret, Bill?’
“Bill swore he wouldn’t
tell a soul, and ’e went off ’ome and ’ad
his supper, and then ’e walked up the road to
the Cauliflower and back, and then up and back again,
thinking over what George ’ad been telling ’im,
and noticing, what ’e ’d never taken the
trouble to notice before, that ’is very house
was the tenth one from the Cauliflower.
“Mrs. Chambers woke up at two
o’clock next morning and told Bill to get up
further, and then found ’e wasn’t there.
She was rather surprised at first, but she didn’t
think much of it, and thought, what happened to be
true, that ’e was busy in the garden, it being
a light night. She turned over and went to sleep
again, and at five when she woke up she could distinctly
’ear Bill working ’is ’ardest.
Then she went to the winder and nearly dropped as
she saw Bill in his shirt and trousers digging away
like mad. A quarter of the garden was all dug
up, and she shoved open the winder and screamed out
to know what ’e was doing.
“Bill stood up straight and
wiped ’is face with his shirt-sleeve and started
digging again, and then his wife just put something
on and rushed downstairs as fast as she could go.
“‘What on earth are you a-doing of, Bill?’
she screams.
“‘Go indoors,’ ses Bill, still
digging.
“‘Have you gone mad?’ she ses,
half-crying.
“Bill just stopped to throw
a lump of mould at her, and then went on digging till
Henery Walker, who also thought ’e ’ad
gone mad, and didn’t want to stop ’im
too soon, put ’is ’ead over the ’edge
and asked ’im the same thing.
“’Ask no questions and
you’ll ’ear no lies, and keep your ugly
face your own side of the ‘edge,’ ses
Bill. ’Take it indoors and frighten the
children with,’ he ses. ‘I don’t
want it staring at me.’
“Henery walked off offended,
and Bill went on with his digging. He wouldn’t
go to work, and ’e ’ad his breakfast in
the garden, and his wife spent all the morning in
the front answering the neighbours’ questions
and begging of ’em to go in and say something
to Bill. One of ’em did go, and came back
a’most directly and stood there for hours telling
diff’rent people wot Bill ’ad said to ’er,
and asking whether ’e couldn’t be locked
up for it.
“By tea-time Bill was dead-beat,
and that stiff he could ’ardly raise ‘is
bread and butter to his mouth. Several o’
the chaps looked in in the evening, but all they could
get out of ’im was, that it was a new way o’
cultivating ’is garden ’e ’ad just
’eard of, and that those who lived the longest
would see the most. By night-time ’e’d
nearly finished the job, and ’is garden was
just ruined.
“Afore people ’ad done
talking about Bill, I’m blest if Peter Smith
didn’t go and cultivate ’is garden in exactly
the same way. The parson and ’is wife was
away on their ’oliday, and nobody could say a
word. The curate who ’ad come over to take
’is place for a time, and who took the names
of people for the Flower Show, did point out to ’im
that he was spoiling ’is chances, but Peter
was so rude to ’im that he didn’t stay
long enough to say much.
“When Joe Gubbins started digging
up ’is garden people began to think they were
all bewitched, and I went round to see Henery Walker
to tell ’im wot a fine chance ’e’d
got, and to remind ’im that I’d put another
ninepence on ’im the night before. All ’e
said was, ‘More fool you,’ and went on
digging a ’olé in his garden big enough
to put a ’ouse in.
“In a fortnight’s time
there wasn’t a garden worth looking at in the
place, and it was quite clear there’d be no Flower
Show that year, and of all the silly, bad-tempered
men in the place them as ’ad dug up their pretty
gardens was the wüst.
“It was just a few days before
the day fixed for the Flower Show, and I was walking
up the road when I see Joe and Henery Walker and one
or two more leaning over Bob Pretty’s fence
and talking to ’im. I stopped, too, to
see what they were looking at, and found they was watching
Bob’s two boys a-weeding of ’is garden.
It was a disgraceful, untidy sort of place, as I said
before, with a few marigolds and nasturtiums, and
sich-like put in anywhere, and Bob was walking
up and down smoking of ’is pipe and watching
’is wife hoe atween the plants and cut off dead
marigold blooms.
“‘That’s a pretty
garden you’ve got there, Bob,’ ses
Joe, grinning.
“I’ve seen wuss,’ ses Bob.
“‘Going in for the Flower Show, Bob?’
ses Henery, with a wink at us.
“‘O’ course I am,’
ses Bob ’olding ‘is’ ead up;
’my marigolds ought to pull me through,’
he ses.
“Henery wouldn’t believe
it at first, but when he saw Bob show ’is missus
‘ow to pat the path down with the back o’
the spade and hold the nails for ’er while she
nailed a climbing nasturtium to the fence, he went
off and fetched Bill Chambers and one or two others,
and they all leaned over the fence breathing their
’ardest and a-saying of all the nasty things
to Bob they could think of.
“‘It’s the best-kep’
garden in the place,’ ses Bob.
‘I ain’t afraid o’ your new way
o’ cultivating flowers, Bill Chambers. Old-fashioned
ways suit me best; I learnt ‘ow to grow flowers
from my father.’
“’You ain’t ‘ad
the cheek to give your name in, Bob?’ ses
Sam Jones, staring.
“Bob didn’t answer ‘im.
Tick those bits o’ grass out o’ the path,
old gal,’ he ses to ’is wife; ’they
look untidy, and untidiness I can’t abear.’
“He walked up and down smoking
’is pipe and pretending not to notice Henery
Walker, wot ’ad moved farther along the fence,
and was staring at some drabble-tailed-looking geraniums
as if ’e’d seen ’em afore but wasn’t
quite sure where.
“‘Admiring my geraniums, Henery?’
ses Bob at last.
“’Where’d you get ’em?’
ses Henery, ’ardly able to speak.
“‘My florist’s,’ ses
Bob, in a off-hand manner.
“’Your wot? asks Henery.
“‘My florist,’ ses Bob.
“’And who might ’e be when ‘e’s
at home?’ asked Henery.
“‘’Tain’t
so likely I’m going to tell you that,’
ses Bob. ’Be reasonable, Henery, and
ask yourself whether it’s likely I should tell
you ’is name. Why, I’ve never seen
sich fine geraniums afore. I’ve been
nursing ’em inside all the summer, and just planted
’em out.’
“‘About two days arter
I threw mine over my back fence,’ ses Henery
Walker, speaking very slowly.
“‘Ho,’ ses
Bob, surprised. ’I didn’t know you
’ad any geraniums, Henery. I thought you
was digging for gravel this year.’
“Henery didn’t answer
’im. Not because ’e didn’t want
to, mind you, but because he couldn’t.
“‘That one,’ ses
Bob, pointing at a broken geranium with the stem of
’is pipe, ‘is a “Dook o’ Wellington,”
and that white one there is wot I’m going to
call “Pretty’s Pride.” That
fine marigold over there, wot looks like a sunflower,
is called “Golden Dreams."’
“‘Come along, Henery,’
ses Bill Chambers, bursting, ’come and get
something to take the taste out of your mouth.’
“‘I’m sorry I can’t
offer you a flower for your button-’olé,’
ses Bob, perlitely, ’but it’s getting
so near the Flower Show now I can’t afford it.
If you chaps only knew wot pleasure was to be ’ad
sitting among your innercent flowers, you wouldn’t
want to go to the public-house so often.’
“He shook ’is ’ead
at ’em, and telling his wife to give the ‘Dook
o’ Wellington’ a mug of water, sat down
in the chair agin and wiped the sweat off ’is
brow.
“Bill Chambers did a bit o’
thinking as they walked up the road, and by and by
’e turns to Joe Gubbins and ’e ses:
“‘Seen anything o’ George English
lately, Joe?’
“‘Yes,’ ses Joe.
“’Seems to me we all ‘ave,’
ses Sam Jones.
“None of ’em liked to
say wot was in their minds, ’aving all seen George
English and swore pretty strong not to tell his secret,
and none of ’em liking to own up that they’d
been digging up their gardens to get money as ’e’d
told ’em about. But presently Bill Chambers
ses:
“’Without telling no secrets
or breaking no promises, Joe, supposing a certain
’ouse was mentioned in a certain letter from
forrin parts, wot ‘ouse was it?’
“‘Supposing it was so,’
ses Joe, careful too; ’the second ’ouse
counting from the Cauliflower.’
“’The ninth ‘ouse, you mean,’
ses Henery Walker, sharply.
“’Second ‘ouse in Mill Lane, you
mean,’ ses Sam Jones, wot lived there.
“Then they all see ’ow
they’d been done, and that they wasn’t,
in a manner o’ speaking, referring to the same
letter. They came up and sat ’ere where
we’re sitting now, all dazed-like. It wasn’t
only the chance o’ losing the prize that upset
’em, but they’d wasted their time and
ruined their gardens and got called mad by the other
folks. Henery Walker’s state o’ mind
was dreadful for to see, and he kep’ thinking
of ’orrible things to say to George English,
and then being afraid they wasn’t strong enough.
“While they was talking who
should come along but George English hisself!
He came right up to the table, and they all sat back
on the bench and stared at ’im fierce, and Henery
Walker crinkled ’is nose at him.
“‘Evening,’ he ses,
but none of ’em answered im; they all looked
at Henery to see wot ’e was going to say.
“‘Wot’s up?’ ses George,
in surprise.
“‘Gardens,’ ses Henery.
“’So I’ve ‘eard,’ ses
George.
“He shook ’is ’ead
and looked at them sorrowful and severe at the same
time.
“’So I ’eard, and
I couldn’t believe my ears till I went and looked
for myself,’ he ses, ’and wot I want
to say is this: you know wot I’m referring
to. If any man ’as found wot don’t
belong to him ’e knows who to give it to.
It ain’t wot I should ’ave expected
of men wot’s lived in the same place as me
for years. Talk about honesty,’ ’e
ses, shaking ’is ’ead agin, ‘I
should like to see a little of it.’
“Peter Smith opened his mouth
to speak, and ’ardly knowing wot ’e was
doing took a pull at ’is beer at the same time,
and if Sam Jones ’adn’t been by to thump
‘im on the back I b’lieve he’d ha’
died there and then.
“‘Mark my words,’
ses George English, speaking very slow and solemn,
’there’ll be no blessing on it. Whoever’s
made ’is fortune by getting up and digging ’is
garden over won’t get no real benefit from it.
He may wear a black coat and new trousers on Sunday,
but ’e won’t be ’appy. I’ll
go and get my little taste o’ beer somewhere
else,’ ’e ses. ’I can’t
breathe here.’
“He walked off before any one
could say a word; Bill Chambers dropped ’is
pipe and smashed it, Henery Walker sat staring after
’im with ’is mouth wide open, and Sam
Jones, who was always one to take advantage, drank
’is own beer under the firm belief that it was
Joe’s.
“’I shall take care that
Mrs. Pawlett ‘ears o’ this,’ ses
Henery, at last.
“‘And be asked wot you
dug your garden up for,’ ses Joe, ’and
’ave to explain that you broke your promise
to George. Why, she’d talk at us for years
and years.’
“’And parson ‘ud
preach a sermon about it,’ ses Sam; ’where’s
your sense, Henery?’
“‘We should be the larfing-stock
for miles round,’ ses Bill Chambers.
’If anybody wants to know, I dug my garden up
to enrich the soil for next year, and also to give
some other chap a chance of the prize.’
“Peter Smith ’as always
been a unfortunit man; he’s got the name for
it. He was just ’aving another drink as
Bill said that, and this time we all thought ’e’d
gorn. He did hisself.
“Mrs. Pawlett and the parson
came ‘ome next day, an’ ’er voice
got that squeaky with surprise it was painful to listen
to her. All the chaps stuck to the tale that
they’d dug their garden up to give the others
a chance, and Henery Walker, ’e went further
and said it was owing to a sermon on unselfishness
wot the curate ’ad preached three weeks afore.
He ’ad a nice little red-covered ’ymn-book
the next day with ’From a friend’ wrote
in it.
“All things considered, Mrs.
Pawlett was for doing away with the Flower Show that
year and giving two prizes next year instead, but one
or two other chaps, encouraged by Bob’s example,
’ad given in their names too, and they said
it wouldn’t be fair to their wives. All
the gardens but one was worse than Bob’s, they
not having started till later than wot ’e did,
and not being able to get their geraniums from ’is
florist. The only better garden was Ralph Thomson’s,
who lived next door to ’im, but two nights afore
the Flower Show ’is pig got walking in its sleep.
Ralph said it was a mystery to ’im ‘ow
the pig could ha’ got out; it must ha’
put its foot through a hole too small for it, and turned
the button of its door, and then climbed over a four-foot
fence. He told Bob ’e wished the pig could
speak, but Bob said that that was sinful and unchristian
of ’im, and that most likely if it could, it
would only call ’im a lot o’ bad names,
and ask ’im why he didn’t feed it properly.
“There was quite a crowd on
Flower Show day following the judges. First of
all, to Bill Chambers’s astonishment and surprise,
they went to ’is place and stood on the ’eaps
in ’is garden judging ’em, while Bill
peeped at ’em through the kitchen winder ’arf-crazy.
They went to every garden in the place, until one
of the young ladies got tired of it, and asked Mrs.
Pawlett whether they was there to judge cottage gardens
or earthquakes.
“Everybody ’eld their
breaths that evening in the school room when Mrs.
Pawlett got up on the platform and took a slip of paper
from one of the judges. She stood a moment waiting
for silence, and then ’eld up her ’and
to stop what she thought was clapping at the back,
but which was two or three wimmen who ’ad ’ad
to take their crying babies out trying to quiet ’em
in the porch. Then Mrs. Pawlett put ’er
glasses on her nose and just read out, short and sweet,
that the prize of three sovereigns and a metal teapot
for the best-kept cottage garden ’ad been won
by Mr. Robert Pretty.
“One or two people patted Bob
on the back as ’e walked up the middle to take
the prize; then one or two more did, and Bill Chambers’s
pat was the ’eartiest of ’em all.
Bob stopped and spoke to ’im about it.
“You would ’ardly think
that Bob ’ud have the cheek to stand up there
and make a speech, but ’e did. He said it
gave ’im great pleasure to take the teapot and
the money, and the more pleasure because ’e felt
that ’e had earned ’em. He said that
if ’e told ’em all ’e’d done
to make sure o’ the prize they’d be surprised.
He said that ’e’d been like Ralph Thomson’s
pig, up early and late.
“He stood up there talking as
though ’e was never going to leave off, and
said that ’e hoped as ’is example would
be of benefit to ’is neighbours. Some of
’em seemed to think that digging was everything,
but ’e could say with pride that ’e ’adn’t
put a spade to ’is garden for three years until
a week ago, and then not much.
“He finished ’is remarks
by saying that ’e was going to give a tea-party
up at the Cauliflower to christen the teapot, where
’e’d be pleased to welcome all friends.
Quite a crowd got up and followed ’im out then,
instead o’ waiting for the dissolving views,
and came back ’arf an hour arterwards, saying
that until they’d got as far as the Cauliflower
they’d no idea as Bob was so per-tikler who ’e
mixed with.
“That was the last Flower Show
we ever ’ad in Claybury, Mrs. Pawlett and the
judges meeting the tea-party coming ’ome, and
’aving to get over a gate into a field to let
it pass. What with that and Mrs. Pawlett tumbling
over something further up the road, which turned out
to be the teapot, smelling strong of beer, the Flower
Show was given up, and the parson preached three Sundays
running on the sin of beer-drinking to children who’d
never ’ad any and wimmen who couldn’t get
it.”