SECOND PERIOD : EIGHTH NARRATIVE
Contributed by Gabriel Betteredge
I am the person (as you remember no
doubt) who led the way in these pages, and opened
the story. I am also the person who is left behind,
as it were, to close the story up.
Let nobody suppose that I have any
last words to say here concerning the Indian Diamond.
I hold that unlucky jewel in abhorrence and
I refer you to other authority than mine, for such
news of the Moonstone as you may, at the present time,
be expected to receive. My purpose, in this place,
is to state a fact in the history of the family, which
has been passed over by everybody, and which I won’t
allow to be disrespectfully smothered up in that way.
The fact to which I allude is the marriage
of Miss Rachel and Mr. Franklin Blake. This interesting
event took place at our house in Yorkshire, on Tuesday,
October ninth, eighteen hundred and forty-nine.
I had a new suit of clothes on the occasion. And
the married couple went to spend the honeymoon in
Scotland.
Family festivals having been rare
enough at our house, since my poor mistress’s
death, I own on this occasion of the wedding to
having (towards the latter part of the day) taken
a drop too much on the strength of it.
If you have ever done the same sort
of thing yourself you will understand and feel for
me. If you have not, you will very likely say,
“Disgusting old man! why does he tell us this?”
The reason why is now to come.
Having, then, taken my drop (bless
you! you have got your favourite vice, too; only your
vice isn’t mine, and mine isn’t yours),
I next applied the one infallible remedy that
remedy being, as you know, Robinson Crusoe.
Where I opened that unrivalled book, I can’t
say. Where the lines of print at last left off
running into each other, I know, however, perfectly
well. It was at page three hundred and eighteen a
domestic bit concerning Robinson Crusoe’s marriage,
as follows:
“With those Thoughts, I considered
my new Engagement, that I had a Wife “ (Observe!
so had Mr. Franklin!) “one Child born” (Observe
again! that might yet be Mr. Franklin’s case,
too!) “and my Wife then” What
Robinson Crusoe’s wife did, or did not do, “then,”
I felt no desire to discover. I scored the bit
about the Child with my pencil, and put a morsel of
paper for a mark to keep the place; “Lie you
there,” I said, “till the marriage of
Mr. Franklin and Miss Rachel is some months older and
then we’ll see!”
The months passed (more than I had
bargained for), and no occasion presented itself for
disturbing that mark in the book. It was not till
this present month of November, eighteen hundred and
fifty, that Mr. Franklin came into my room, in high
good spirits, and said, “Betteredge! I
have got some news for you! Something is going
to happen in the house, before we are many months
older.”
“Does it concern the family, sir?” I asked.
“It decidedly concerns the family,”
says Mr. Franklin. “Has your good lady
anything to do with it, if you please, sir?”
“She has a great deal to do
with it,” says Mr. Franklin, beginning to look
a little surprised.
“You needn’t say a word
more, sir,” I answered. “God bless
you both! I’m heartily glad to hear it.”
Mr. Franklin stared like a person
thunderstruck. “May I venture to inquire
where you got your information?” he asked.
“I only got mine (imparted in the strictest
secrecy) five minutes since.”
Here was an opportunity of producing
Robinson Crusoe! Here was a chance
of reading that domestic bit about the child which
I had marked on the day of Mr. Franklin’s marriage!
I read those miraculous words with an emphasis which
did them justice, and then I looked him severely in
the face. “Now, sir, do you believe
in Robinson Crusoe?” I asked, with
a solemnity, suitable to the occasion.
“Betteredge!” says Mr.
Franklin, with equal solemnity, “I’m convinced
at last.” He shook hands with me and
I felt that I had converted him.
With the relation of this extraordinary
circumstance, my reappearance in these pages comes
to an end. Let nobody laugh at the unique anecdote
here related. You are welcome to be as merry as
you please over everything else I have written.
But when I write of Robinson Crusoe, by
the Lord it’s serious and I request
you to take it accordingly!
When this is said, all is said.
Ladies and gentlemen, I make my bow, and shut up the
story.