“The Normal School Band uniforms will consist of a coat and cap at first, with the probable addition of trousers at a later date.” Kalamazoo Gazette.

At the Seelback Hotel in Louisville, Ky., I asked the colored waiter if they served a table d’hote meal in the morning. He hesitated for a moment, then picked up the bill of fare, studied on it for a moment, then said,

“Er no, suh; we haven’t got table doe meal, but we have got oat meal.”

I saw a wedding announcement in a Kansas City paper the other day and I didn’t blame the girl a bit. Her name was Leafy Gose.

Al Fields’ (Fields & Lewis) mother and father came from Berlin. Father teaches stuttering people not to stutter. One day he was busily beating time for a pupil to talk to, when the bell rang; he went to the door and a boy handed in a bundle, saying,

“Frank Brothers.”

A couple of days afterwards Mother said to him,

“Papa, haf you seen a pair of slippers come by der house for Mama?”

No, Papa had seen no slippers.

“It iss funny iss,” said Mama. “Two days ago yet I buy me a pair of slippers from Frank Brothers; unt they say they vill sent them by a boy to the house.”

“From who iss it?” asked Papa anxiously.

“From Frank Brothers.”

“Gott in Himmel; I thought the boy said ‘Frankfurters’; they are the ice box in.”

Al and his father were sitting at the breakfast table.

“Where iss it that you go next veek?” asked Papa.

“Birmingham,” said Al shortly.

At this moment Mama came in from the kitchen, and overheard.

“No, Allie,” she said quickly, “it iss not the ham vat iss burning; it iss the eggs.”

In the “George Washington, Jr.,” Company there was a young lady who laid great stress on the refined atmosphere in which she had been brought up. Everything in her home had been just a little more refined than any one else had ever enjoyed. One day at the table the subject of coffee-drinking came up; some thought it harmful, others did not; finally Carter De Haven asked this young lady what she thought about it.

“Well,” she said, in her precise way, “I don’t think it hurts anybody. I know Papa always drank five and six saucersful every morning, and it never hurt him.”