While Huntington’s spirits sank
lower and lower Cosden’s rose to a point which
made him oblivious to the cares and worries of the
world around him. He had passed through the probationary
period with Edith Stevens with marked success, and
this opportunity of consecutive days with her amid
such congenial surroundings filled him with a delight
which he had never found in his business successes.
Edith was right, Huntington was right, Cosden admitted,
in their contention that there was something finer
and more satisfying than business ideals; but he gave
Edith the credit for having proved it to him.
He went to extremes in this swing
of the pendulum as in all others, but the net result
was a smoothing down of many of the rough corners,
and a tempering of the aggressive individualism which
had often offended. Cosden sized himself up correctly
when he remarked to Edith, “I never expect to
be the finished product Monty is, but I’m going
to quit advertising the fact.”
Edith could but admire the persistency
with which he worked upon his disagreeable problem.
Her curiosity to see “how deep it went”
developed during the course of several other experiences
together, into a complete willingness to forget past
delinquencies, and a real desire to encourage him
in the pursuit of his new course. It interested
her to see that the same forcefulness which had made
itself disagreeable before was the very agent which
had accomplished the change she admired; that it was
this same dogged determination which maintained the
present poise and gave him the new dignity.
Marian was delighted by the way her
guests grouped themselves, and everything seemed to
play wonderfully into her hands. Edith appropriated
Cosden and appointed herself his hostess; brother Ricky
enjoyed himself hugely motoring around the country
in one of the Thatcher automobiles, and did not ask
to be considered except at meals; Philip kept his boy
friends engaged in an absorbing series of outdoor activities
which prevented Billy from interfering with her plans
for Merry; Mr. Thatcher was so engrossed with business
matters that he became almost a negligible quantity,
which his guests understood and overlooked; Huntington
so far, Marian rejoiced to admit, had carried himself
admirably, dividing his time between Merry, Hamlen
and herself in such a way as to be really helpful
instead of a menace to her plans. Never had she
entertained a group of friends so accommodating, and
she was more deeply appreciative at this time than
she cared to state.
Edith and Cosden strolled down a leaf-covered
walk, flanked by antique statuettes, to
an attractive pavilion at the end of the vista.
Here they seated themselves after a leisurely walk
about the estate. Edith knew she was taking chances,
but as she felt quite capable of defending her position
she saw no reason why she should not enjoy Cosden’s
continued devotion.
“I’ve ordered tea served
here,” she announced. “We seem to
be a little early.”
“I’m in no hurry,” Cosden replied
cheerfully; “are you?”
“I have forgotten how to hurry,
after these delicious weeks here,” Edith answered,
leaning back in her rustic chair. “I think
it agrees with me to be deliberate, as Marian is.
I am going to cultivate it.”
“You are deliberate with me,
all right,” he declared. “I don’t
quite understand myself nowadays. Usually when
I find that I am making little progress along one
line I shift onto another, but now I seem perfectly
contented to sit back and watch you act your part.
That shows that there’s something deeper in
all this, doesn’t it?”
“You might shift back to Merry,” she replied
calmly.
“No,” he said with decision;
“I’ve learned the rules now, and you don’t
catch me revoking. Tell me, if you don’t
like me, why do you let me hang around like this,
and if you do like me, what’s the use of putting
me off so long?”
“There are loads of people I
don’t even take the trouble to like or dislike,
whom I ‘put off,’ as you call it.”
“Do you really dislike me?”
“No,” Edith drawled slowly,
as if deliberating; “I can’t say that.
In fact I think I rather like you in spots.”
Cosden leaned forward eagerly.
“Isn’t it stronger than that?” he
demanded.
“I can’t say it is,”
she replied, her voice manifesting the same interest
which she might show if he had asked any other commonplace
question; “but don’t get down on your knees
now, for here comes the tea and I loathe demonstration
before servants.”
“All right,” Cosden said
with resignation but without losing his cheerfulness;
“you don’t discourage me a bit. I
guess counsel is just collecting a little extra fee
for that break in Bermuda. I’ll wait.”
“I know how many lumps you take
in your tea, and I know that you prefer cream, but
shall I pass you the raspberry jam?”
“No, thank you,” he replied
promptly. “My mother always used to dose
me up with calomel disguised in raspberry jam, and
I can’t eat it now without tasting the medicine.”
“Very well,” Edith laughed,
“try some honey. But please tell me what
has put your friend Monty in the dumps. At Bermuda
he was stimulating, but down here he’s as cheerful
as a crutch.”
“Monty in the dumps?”
Cosden echoed, surprised. “Why, I hadn’t
noticed it. Just before Hamlen came to visit
him, he was way down, bemoaned his age,
and all that sort of thing. I thought we’d
got him out of that. I must look him over and
see what the trouble is. Here come our hostess
and Hamlen. Did you ever see such a change in
any one?”
Marian approached with her brightest
smile. “I’m glad Edith is keeping
you from being bored,” she said. “I’m
afraid I’ve been very remiss.”
“I don’t see how you could
divide yourself into much smaller bits, Mrs. Thatcher,”
Cosden replied. “This is a big family you
have at present.”
“The bigger the better,”
she exclaimed brightly. “I hoped I should
find you out here, and as I see the tea is still hot
perhaps Edith will let us join you. Philip and
I have been walking and talking until we are really
tired.”
“I am entranced with all this,”
Hamlen said, turning to Edith. “I had no
idea, when I paraded my few acres at Bermuda, that
I was competing with an estate like Sagamore.
I wonder some one didn’t rebuke me for my presumption!”
“Isn’t that a pretty compliment!”
Marian cried. “You have put yourself into
every inch of your beautiful place, Philip; Harry and
I have only done that to a very small extent.
It is beautiful, I admit, and I love it just as I
love the beauties with which you have surrounded yourself
at home.”
“It makes little difference,
after all, where one finds it, so long as it is beauty,”
Hamlen replied. “’The dawn is my Assyria;
the sunset and moonrise my Paphos and unimaginable
realms of faerie; broad noon shall be my England of
the senses and the understanding; the night shall be
my Germany of mystic philosophy and dreams.’
I used to think Emerson must have written that in
Bermuda, but it might have been written here.”
Edith caught the expression on Cosden’s
face and almost laughed.
“What’s the use?”
he whispered to her without being detected. “This
pace is too swift for me! He reeled that off
as easily as I could the latest quotations on copper!”
“Oh, Philip!” Mrs. Thatcher
exclaimed, “I can’t tell you what it means
to me to see you yourself again after that awful shock
you gave me at Bermuda! Truly, when we left you
behind us I gave up hope.”
“What hope there was you took
away with you, so I was forced to follow.”
“Come, Cossie Connie ,”
Edith stumbled, “if I’m to call
you by your given name you’ll have to change
it to something reasonable, this is no
place for us.”
“Don’t let us drive you away,” Marian
protested.
“That’s all right; we
want to be driven away. If we stay longer, and
Mr. Hamlen talks like that, Mr. Cosden will become
sentimental. Bye, bye.”
Mrs. Thatcher and Hamlen watched them
as they strolled leisurely up the path, Edith swinging
her parasol and Cosden walking meekly beside her.
Finally Marian turned to him and laughed.
“What a dance that girl is leading him!”
“Do you think she cares for him?”
“In her way; but if he marries
her he will have earned her! He went down
to Bermuda on purpose to become engaged to Merry.”
“He did!” Hamlen exclaimed,
surprised; “why, they were never together when
I saw them.”
“Nor often at other times.
Of course, it was ridiculous, but with you,
Philip, she’ll be the happiest girl in all the
world.”
His eyes dropped quickly as she turned
the conversation, and the expression on his face completely
changed.
“You are wrong, Marian,”
he protested; “no happiness can ever come to
any woman through me.”
“Don’t disparage yourself,”
she answered gently. “You are a different
man from what you were. Do you think I would counsel
this if I were not sure?”
“You believe it, Marian,”
he conceded, “and I wish I shared your confidence.
But I know myself. The time when I might have
made something of what I had passed long ago.
If I am to go on at all it must be with my real self
suppressed, and the only way to do this is to plod
my path alone.”
“Why slip back, Philip? Why suppress your
real self?”
“I know the danger of permitting it to assume
control.”
“When last we talked you seemed willing to accept
my judgment.”
“I am still, in everything but
this. I appreciate your desire for my happiness,
Marian, but you are taking a responsibility beyond
what is wise. I am complimented by your daughter’s
willingness to listen to an offer of marriage from
me, but if the test really came she could not meet
it.”
“She would, Philip, she would.”
“I cannot comprehend it,” he continued;
“she has seen me at my worst.”
“She understands you, and appreciates
the wonderful qualities you possess. She is too
young to know the depth of love, but old enough to
recognize what a man like you can become to her.
If you would only speak with her you too would understand.”
Hamlen moved uncomfortably in his
chair, and was silent for what seemed an interminable
period. When at last he turned he spoke with a
conviction which shocked her.
“No, Marian,” he said
deliberately; “it can never be. Let us end
this farce before it goes too far.”
“Philip!” she cried, seeing
her work of months crumbling before her, and reading
in his determined face the miscarriage of what she
believed to be predestined. “I can’t
permit you to destroy the years which remain to you.”
She leaned over and took his hand
in hers. Success had been so near that she could
not see it slip away from her now without a supreme
effort. Merry needed such a man as this and Hamlen
needed her. Why should these false ideas, created
by years of self-depreciation, stand in the way of
what she knew was best?
“I can’t let you destroy
the years which remain to you,” she repeated
earnestly. “I can’t see my child’s
happiness marred by your foolish insistence upon ideals
which rest on conditions now long since passed away.
Philip, if you loved me once, show it now by your confidence
in my judgment, by your faith in my purpose.
Tell me one reason why this should not be.”
“If I loved you once?”
he echoed her words with a force which startled her.
“Tell you one reason why this should not be?
The one answers the other, Marian; for that love,
intensified by the denial of twenty years, is now
a power I can’t withstand.”
“Philip!” she cried, striving
to release her hand which he held in a grip which
hurt her, “you don’t mean that you still ”
“I mean that I have never ceased
to love you, Marian. Look at me now and tell
me if you doubt it. Even while I cursed you for
ruining my life, I loved you. Every day of the
twenty years I have lived alone I have had your face
before me, I have held out my arms beseeching you to
come to me, I have beaten my head against the wall
in despair that the one longing of my heart could
never hope for realization.”
“You never told me I did not know ”
“I have at least been strong
enough to keep my secret, Marian; but it is sacrilege
for you to talk to me of marriage to your daughter.
Now that you know the truth you will urge no further.
Could anything be more dishonorable than to offer
myself to her when even to-day my love for you is
beating at my heart until I can scarcely contain it?
No, no! let us have an end to all this mockery!
In the name of a life’s devotion, in the name
of the love you once had for me ”
“Release me, Philip,”
she entreated, frightened by his tenseness; but he
only tightened his grip upon her hand. She realized
the importance of terminating this impossible situation,
regardless of the pain it might inflict.
“I never loved you, Philip,”
she said deliberately. “At the time, I
thought I did; but it was my mind and not my heart
you dominated.”
He dropped her hand as if she had
struck him, and, dazed, supported himself against
the rustic chair.
“You never loved me?”
he repeated brokenly after her. “You never oh,
God! why did you tell me that! Why did you come
back into my life to stir up those forces which had
crushed me, but which I had at last subdued!”
Then he turned his eyes upon her,
full of the reproach which he dared not trust himself
to speak.
“If it was the domination of
my mind then, why should it not be now?” he
asked in a voice which trembled with emotion.
“Look at me, Marian!”
“Don’t, Philip, I entreat of you; you
frighten me!
“Look at me!” he commanded,
and she slowly raised her head and gazed into his
face.
“Do you remember the last time
you looked at me like that?” he asked quietly,
but even in his low tones there was a compelling force
she recognized.
“Come,” he said rising,
and drawing her toward him. “If it was not
love which brought you to my arms before, then it
must be the same impulse to-day. Come, Marian,
it is not the daughter I want, it is you, my
beloved, my sweetheart of years gone by!”
“Philip!” she protested
feebly, “Philip I entreat ”
but the old, irresistible influence was too strong,
and he folded her in his arms.
In a moment his face changed as if
touched by a magician’s wand. The lines
which years and disappointment had traced were miraculously
smoothed away, and the expression of contentment was
that which comes only when the seeker has at last
reached the consummation of his quest. The lips
moved silently, the eyes looked far into the distance.
The past was forgotten, the future unheeded, but the
wonderful present was his!
A convulsive sob from Marian finally
brought him to himself. He loosened his hold,
and gazed into her face with abject horror.
“My God!” he cried, as
he allowed her limp form to slip back into the chair.
“What have I done! Marian, child, speak
to me! Tell me that you forgive me! It was
the years which did it, not I; Marian! speak to me!
Tell me you forgive me!”
He gazed helplessly around as no response
came. She lay there, her head resting on the
back of the chair, sobbing hysterically but giving
no sign that she even heard his words. He watched
her until at last she opened her eyes and regained
control. Then he spoke again.
“Leave it unspoken, Marian,”
he exclaimed with an agony in his voice which the
suspense intensified. “I have said it to
myself. I have made myself an outcast, a pariah!
Let me take you to the house. Then you need never
think of me again.”
“No,” she said brokenly; “leave
me here.”
“This is the end, Marian!”
The words came short and crisp. “I ask your
forgiveness no more. There are some things which
are past forgiveness. I only ask you to forget. Good-bye!”