Mrs. March was one of those wives
who exact a more rigid adherence to their ideals from
their husbands than from themselves. Early in
their married life she had taken charge of him in
all matters which she considered practical. She
did not include the business of bread-winning in these;
that was an affair that might safely be left to his
absent-minded, dreamy inefficiency, and she did not
interfere with him there. But in such things
as rehanging the pictures, deciding on a summer boarding-place,
taking a seaside cottage, repapering rooms, choosing
seats at the theatre, seeing what the children ate
when she was not at table, shutting the cat out at
night, keeping run of calls and invitations, and seeing
if the furnace was dampered, he had failed her so
often that she felt she could not leave him the slightest
discretion in regard to a flat. Her total distrust
of his judgment in the matters cited and others like
them consisted with the greatest admiration of his
mind and respect for his character. She often
said that if he would only bring these to bear in
such exigencies he would be simply perfect; but she
had long given up his ever doing so. She subjected
him, therefore, to an iron code, but after proclaiming
it she was apt to abandon him to the native lawlessness
of his temperament. She expected him in this event
to do as he pleased, and she resigned herself to it
with considerable comfort in holding him accountable.
He learned to expect this, and after suffering keenly
from her disappointment with whatever he did he waited
patiently till she forgot her grievance and began
to extract what consolation lurks in the irreparable.
She would almost admit at moments that what he had
done was a very good thing, but she reserved the right
to return in full force to her original condemnation
of it; and she accumulated each act of independent
volition in witness and warning against him. Their
mass oppressed but never deterred him. He expected
to do the wrong thing when left to his own devices,
and he did it without any apparent recollection of
his former misdeeds and their consequences. There
was a good deal of comedy in it all, and some tragedy.
He now experienced a certain expansion,
such as husbands of his kind will imagine, on going
back to his hotel alone. It was, perhaps, a revulsion
from the pain of parting; and he toyed with the idea
of Mrs. Grosvenor Green’s apartment, which,
in its preposterous unsuitability, had a strange attraction.
He felt that he could take it with less risk than
anything else they had seen, but he said he would look
at all the other places in town first. He really
spent the greater part of the next day in hunting
up the owner of an apartment that had neither steam
heat nor an elevator, but was otherwise perfect, and
trying to get him to take less than the agent asked.
By a curious psychical operation he was able, in the
transaction, to work himself into quite a passionate
desire for the apartment, while he held the Grosvenor
Green apartment in the background of his mind as something
that he could return to as altogether more suitable.
He conducted some simultaneous negotiation for a furnished
house, which enhanced still more the desirability of
the Grosvenor Green apartment. Toward evening
he went off at a tangent far up-town, so as to be
able to tell his wife how utterly preposterous the
best there would be as compared even with this ridiculous
Grosvenor Green gimcrackery. It is hard to report
the processes of his sophistication; perhaps this,
again, may best be left to the marital imagination.
He rang at the last of these up-town
apartments as it was falling dusk, and it was long
before the janitor appeared. Then the man was
very surly, and said if he looked at the flat now
he would say it was too dark, like all the rest.
His reluctance irritated March in proportion to his
insincerity in proposing to look at it at all.
He knew he did not mean to take it under any circumstances;
that he was going to use his inspection of it in dishonest
justification of his disobedience to his wife; but
he put on an air of offended dignity. “If
you don’t wish to show the apartment,”
he said, “I don’t care to see it.”
The man groaned, for he was heavy,
and no doubt dreaded the stairs. He scratched
a match on his thigh, and led the way up. March
was sorry for him, and he put his fingers on a quarter
in his waistcoat-pocket to give him at parting.
At the same time, he had to trump up an objection to
the flat. This was easy, for it was advertised
as containing ten rooms, and he found the number eked
out with the bath-room and two large closets.
“It’s light enough,” said March,
“but I don’t see how you make out ten
rooms”
“There’s ten rooms,” said the man,
deigning no proof.
March took his fingers off the quarter,
and went down-stairs and out of the door without another
word. It would be wrong, it would be impossible,
to give the man anything after such insolence.
He reflected, with shame, that it was also cheaper
to punish than forgive him.
He returned to his hotel prepared
for any desperate measure, and convinced now that
the Grosvenor Green apartment was not merely the only
thing left for him, but was, on its own merits, the
best thing in New York.
Fulkerson was waiting for him in the
reading-room, and it gave March the curious thrill
with which a man closes with temptation when he said:
“Look here! Why don’t you take that
woman’s flat in the Xenophon? She’s
been at the agents again, and they’ve been at
me. She likes your look or Mrs. March’s and
I guess you can have it at a pretty heavy discount
from the original price. I’m authorized
to say you can have it for one seventy-five a month,
and I don’t believe it would be safe for you
to offer one fifty.”
March shook his head, and dropped
a mask of virtuous rejection over his corrupt acquiescence.
“It’s too small for us we couldn’t
squeeze into it.”
“Why, look here!” Fulkerson
persisted. “How many rooms do you people
want?”
“I’ve got to have a place to work ”
“Of course! And you’ve got to have
it at the Fifth Wheel office.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,”
March began. “I suppose I could do my work
at the office, as there’s not much writing ”
“Why, of course you can’t
do your work at home. You just come round with
me now, and look at that again.”
“No; I can’t do it.”
“Why?”
“I I’ve got to dine.”
“All right,” said Fulkerson.
“Dine with me. I want to take you round
to a little Italian place that I know.”
One may trace the successive steps
of March’s descent in this simple matter with
the same edification that would attend the study of
the self-delusions and obfuscations of a man tempted
to crime. The process is probably not at all
different, and to the philosophical mind the kind of
result is unimportant; the process is everything.
Fulkerson led him down one block and
half across another to the steps of a small dwelling-house,
transformed, like many others, into a restaurant of
the Latin ideal, with little or no structural change
from the pattern of the lower middle-class New York
home. There were the corroded brownstone steps,
the mean little front door, and the cramped entry with
its narrow stairs by which ladies could go up to a
dining-room appointed for them on the second floor;
the parlors on the first were set about with tables,
where men smoked cigarettes between the courses, and
a single waiter ran swiftly to and fro with plates
and dishes, and, exchanged unintelligible outcries
with a cook beyond a slide in the back parlor.
He rushed at the new-comers, brushed the soiled table-cloth
before them with a towel on his arm, covered its worst
stains with a napkin, and brought them, in their order,
the vermicelli soup, the fried fish, the cheese-strewn
spaghetti, the veal cutlets, the tepid roast fowl
and salad, and the wizened pear and coffee which form
the dinner at such places.
“Ah, this is nice!” said
Fulkerson, after the laying of the charitable napkin,
and he began to recognize acquaintances, some of whom
he described to March as young literary men and artists
with whom they should probably have to do; others
were simply frequenters of the place, and were of
all nationalities and religions apparently at
least, several were Hebrews and Cubans. “You
get a pretty good slice of New York here,” he
said, “all except the frosting on top. That
you won’t find much at Maroni’s, though
you will occasionally. I don’t mean the
ladies ever, of course.” The ladies present
seemed harmless and reputable-looking people enough,
but certainly they were not of the first fashion, and,
except in a few instances, not Americans. “It’s
like cutting straight down through a fruitcake,”
Fulkerson went on, “or a mince-pie, when you
don’t know who made the pie; you get a little
of everything.” He ordered a small flask
of Chianti with the dinner, and it came in its pretty
wicker jacket. March smiled upon it with tender
reminiscence, and Fulkerson laughed. “Lights
you up a little. I brought old Dryfoos here one
day, and he thought it was sweet-oil; that’s
the kind of bottle they used to have it in at the
country drug-stores.”
“Yes, I remember now; but I’d
totally forgotten it,” said March. “How
far back that goes! Who’s Dryfoos?”
“Dryfoos?” Fulkerson,
still smiling, tore off a piece of the half-yard of
French loaf which had been supplied them, with two
pale, thin disks of butter, and fed it into himself.
“Old Dryfoos? Well, of course! I call
him old, but he ain’t so very. About fifty,
or along there.”
“No,” said March, “that
isn’t very old or not so old as it
used to be.”
“Well, I suppose you’ve
got to know about him, anyway,” said Fulkerson,
thoughtfully. “And I’ve been wondering
just how I should tell you. Can’t always
make out exactly how much of a Bostonian you really
are! Ever been out in the natural-gas country?”
“No,” said March.
“I’ve had a good deal of curiosity about
it, but I’ve never been able to get away except
in summer, and then we always preferred to go over
the old ground, out to Niagara and back through Canada,
the route we took on our wedding journey. The
children like it as much as we do.”
“Yes, yes,” said Fulkerson.
“Well, the natural-gas country is worth seeing.
I don’t mean the Pittsburg gas-fields, but out
in Northern Ohio and Indiana around Moffitt that’s
the place in the heart of the gas region that they’ve
been booming so. Yes, you ought to see that country.
If you haven’t been West for a good many years,
you haven’t got any idea how old the country
looks. You remember how the fields used to be
all full of stumps?”
“I should think so.”
“Well, you won’t see any
stumps now. All that country out around Moffitt
is just as smooth as a checker-board, and looks as
old as England. You know how we used to burn
the stumps out; and then somebody invented a stump-extractor,
and we pulled them out with a yoke of oxen. Now
they just touch ’em off with a little dynamite,
and they’ve got a cellar dug and filled up with
kindling ready for housekeeping whenever you want it.
Only they haven’t got any use for kindling in
that country all gas. I rode along
on the cars through those level black fields at corn-planting
time, and every once in a while I’d come to a
place with a piece of ragged old stove-pipe stickin’
up out of the ground, and blazing away like forty,
and a fellow ploughing all round it and not minding
it any more than if it was spring violets. Horses
didn’t notice it, either. Well, they’ve
always known about the gas out there; they say there
are places in the woods where it’s been burning
ever since the country was settled.
“But when you come in sight
of Moffitt my, oh, my! Well, you come
in smell of it about as soon. That gas out there
ain’t odorless, like the Pittsburg gas, and
so it’s perfectly safe; but the smell isn’t
bad about as bad as the finest kind of
benzine. Well, the first thing that strikes you
when you come to Moffitt is the notion that there has
been a good warm, growing rain, and the town’s
come up overnight. That’s in the suburbs,
the annexes, and additions. But it ain’t
shabby no shanty-farm business; nice brick
and frame houses, some of ’em Queen Anne style,
and all of ’em looking as if they had come to
stay. And when you drive up from the depot you
think everybody’s moving. Everything seems
to be piled into the street; old houses made over,
and new ones going up everywhere. You know the
kind of street Main Street always used to be in our
section half plank-road and turnpike, and
the rest mud-hole, and a lot of stores and doggeries
strung along with false fronts a story higher than
the back, and here and there a decent building with
the gable end to the public; and a court-house and
jail and two taverns and three or four churches.
Well, they’re all there in Moffitt yet, but architecture
has struck it hard, and they’ve got a lot of
new buildings that needn’t be ashamed of themselves
anywhere; the new court-house is as big as St. Peter’s,
and the Grand Opera-house is in the highest style of
the art. You can’t buy a lot on that street
for much less than you can buy a lot in New York or
you couldn’t when the boom was on; I saw the
place just when the boom was in its prime. I
went out there to work the newspapers in the syndicate
business, and I got one of their men to write me a
real bright, snappy account of the gas; and they just
took me in their arms and showed me everything.
Well, it was wonderful, and it was beautiful, too!
To see a whole community stirred up like that was just
like a big boy, all hope and high spirits, and no
discount on the remotest future; nothing but perpetual
boom to the end of time I tell you it warmed
your blood. Why, there were some things about
it that made you think what a nice kind of world this
would be if people ever took hold together, instead
of each fellow fighting it out on his own hook, and
devil take the hindmost. They made up their minds
at Moffitt that if they wanted their town to grow
they’d got to keep their gas public property.
So they extended their corporation line so as to take
in pretty much the whole gas region round there; and
then the city took possession of every well that was
put down, and held it for the common good. Anybody
that’s a mind to come to Moffitt and start any
kind of manufacture can have all the gas he wants
free; and for fifteen dollars a year you can have all
the gas you want to heat and light your private house.
The people hold on to it for themselves, and, as I
say, it’s a grand sight to see a whole community
hanging together and working for the good of all, instead
of splitting up into as many different cut-throats
as there are able-bodied citizens. See that fellow?”
Fulkerson broke off, and indicated with a twirl of
his head a short, dark, foreign-looking man going out
of the door. “They say that fellow’s
a Socialist. I think it’s a shame they’re
allowed to come here. If they don’t like
the way we manage our affairs let ’em stay at
home,” Fulkerson continued. “They
do a lot of mischief, shooting off their mouths round
here. I believe in free speech and all that;
but I’d like to see these fellows shut up in
jail and left to jaw one another to death. We
don’t want any of their poison.”
March did not notice the vanishing
Socialist. He was watching, with a teasing sense
of familiarity, a tall, shabbily dressed, elderly man,
who had just come in. He had the aquiline profile
uncommon among Germans, and yet March recognized him
at once as German. His long, soft beard and mustache
had once been fair, and they kept some tone of their
yellow in the gray to which they had turned.
His eyes were full, and his lips and chin shaped the
beard to the noble outline which shows in the beards
the Italian masters liked to paint for their Last
Suppers. His carriage was erect and soldierly,
and March presently saw that he had lost his left
hand. He took his place at a table where the overworked
waiter found time to cut up his meat and put everything
in easy reach of his right hand.
“Well,” Fulkerson resumed,
“they took me round everywhere in Moffitt, and
showed me their big wells lit ’em
up for a private view, and let me hear them purr with
the soft accents of a mass-meeting of locomotives.
Why, when they let one of these wells loose in a meadow
that they’d piped it into temporarily, it drove
the flame away forty feet from the mouth of the pipe
and blew it over half an acre of ground. They
say when they let one of their big wells burn away
all winter before they had learned how to control
it, that well kept up a little summer all around it;
the grass stayed green, and the flowers bloomed all
through the winter. I don’t know whether
it’s so or not. But I can believe anything
of natural gas. My! but it was beautiful when
they turned on the full force of that well and shot
a roman candle into the gas that’s
the way they light it and a plume of fire
about twenty feet wide and seventy-five feet high,
all red and yellow and violet, jumped into the sky,
and that big roar shook the ground under your feet!
You felt like saying:
“‘Don’t trouble
yourself; I’m perfectly convinced. I believe
in Moffitt.’ We-e-e-ll!” drawled
Fulkerson, with a long breath, “that’s
where I met old Dryfoos.”
“Oh yes! Dryfoos,”
said March. He observed that the waiter had brought
the old one-handed German a towering glass of beer.
“Yes,” Fulkerson laughed.
“We’ve got round to Dryfoos again.
I thought I could cut a long story short, but I seem
to be cutting a short story long. If you’re
not in a hurry, though ”
“Not in the least. Go on as long as you
like.”
“I met him there in the office
of a real-estate man speculator, of course;
everybody was, in Moffitt; but a first-rate fellow,
and public-spirited as all get-out; and when Dryfoos
left he told me about him. Dryfoos was an old
Pennsylvania Dutch farmer, about three or four miles
out of Moffitt, and he’d lived there pretty much
all his life; father was one of the first settlers.
Everybody knew he had the right stuff in him, but
he was slower than molasses in January, like those
Pennsylvania Dutch. He’d got together the
largest and handsomest farm anywhere around there;
and he was making money on it, just like he was in
some business somewhere; he was a very intelligent
man; he took the papers and kept himself posted; but
he was awfully old-fashioned in his ideas. He
hung on to the doctrines as well as the dollars of
the dads; it was a real thing with him. Well,
when the boom began to come he hated it awfully, and
he fought it. He used to write communications
to the weekly newspaper in Moffitt they’ve
got three dailies there now and throw cold
water on the boom. He couldn’t catch on
no way. It made him sick to hear the clack that
went on about the gas the whole while, and that stirred
up the neighborhood and got into his family.
Whenever he’d hear of a man that had been offered
a big price for his land and was going to sell out
and move into town, he’d go and labor with him
and try to talk him out of it, and tell him how long
his fifteen or twenty thousand would last him to live
on, and shake the Standard Oil Company before him,
and try to make him believe it wouldn’t be five
years before the Standard owned the whole region.
“Of course, he couldn’t
do anything with them. When a man’s offered
a big price for his farm, he don’t care whether
it’s by a secret emissary from the Standard
Oil or not; he’s going to sell and get the better
of the other fellow if he can. Dryfoos couldn’t
keep the boom out of has own family even. His
wife was with him. She thought whatever he said
and did was just as right as if it had been thundered
down from Sinai. But the young folks were sceptical,
especially the girls that had been away to school.
The boy that had been kept at home because he couldn’t
be spared from helping his father manage the farm
was more like him, but they contrived to stir the
boy up with the hot end of the boom, too.
So when a fellow came along one day and offered old
Dryfoos a cool hundred thousand for his farm, it was
all up with Dryfoos. He’d ‘a’
liked to ‘a’ kept the offer to himself
and not done anything about it, but his vanity wouldn’t
let him do that; and when he let it out in his family
the girls outvoted him. They just made him sell.
“He wouldn’t sell all.
He kept about eighty acres that was off in some piece
by itself, but the three hundred that had the old brick
house on it, and the big barn that went,
and Dryfoos bought him a place in Moffitt and moved
into town to live on the interest of his money.
Just What he had scolded and ridiculed everybody else
for doing. Well, they say that at first he seemed
like he would go crazy. He hadn’t anything
to do. He took a fancy to that land-agent, and
he used to go and set in his office and ask him what
he should do. ’I hain’t got any horses,
I hain’t got any cows, I hain’t got any
pigs, I hain’t got any chickens. I hain’t
got anything to do from sun-up to sun-down.’
The fellow said the tears used to run down the old
fellow’s cheeks, and if he hadn’t been
so busy himself he believed he should ‘a’
cried, too. But most o’ people thought
old Dryfoos was down in the mouth because he hadn’t
asked more for his farm, when he wanted to buy it
back and found they held it at a hundred and fifty
thousand. People couldn’t believe he was
just homesick and heartsick for the old place.
Well, perhaps he was sorry he hadn’t asked more;
that’s human nature, too.
“After a while something happened.
That land-agent used to tell Dryfoos to get out to
Europe with his money and see life a little, or go
and live in Washington, where he could be somebody;
but Dryfoos wouldn’t, and he kept listening
to the talk there, and all of a sudden he caught on.
He came into that fellow’s one day with a plan
for cutting up the eighty acres he’d kept into
town lots; and he’d got it all plotted out so-well,
and had so many practical ideas about it, that the
fellow was astonished. He went right in with
him, as far as Dryfoos would let him, and glad of
the chance; and they were working the thing for all
it was worth when I struck Moffitt. Old Dryfoos
wanted me to go out and see the Dryfoos & Hendry Addition guess
he thought maybe I’d write it up; and he drove
me out there himself. Well, it was funny to see
a town made: streets driven through; two rows
of shadetrees, hard and soft, planted; cellars dug
and houses put up-regular Queen Anne style, too, with
stained glass-all at once. Dryfoos apologized
for the streets because they were hand-made; said
they expected their street-making machine Tuesday,
and then they intended to push things.”
Fulkerson enjoyed the effect of his
picture on March for a moment, and then went on:
“He was mighty intelligent, too, and he questioned
me up about my business as sharp as I ever was questioned;
seemed to kind of strike his fancy; I guess he wanted
to find out if there was any money in it. He
was making money, hand over hand, then; and he never
stopped speculating and improving till he’d
scraped together three or four hundred thousand dollars,
they said a million, but they like round numbers at
Moffitt, and I guess half a million would lay over
it comfortably and leave a few thousands to spare,
probably. Then he came on to New York.”
Fulkerson struck a match against the
ribbed side of the porcelain cup that held the matches
in the centre of the table, and lit a cigarette, which
he began to smoke, throwing his head back with a leisurely
effect, as if he had got to the end of at least as
much of his story as he meant to tell without prompting.
March asked him the desired question.
“What in the world for?”
Fulkerson took out his cigarette and
said, with a smile: “To spend his money,
and get his daughters into the old Knickerbocker society.
Maybe he thought they were all the same kind of Dutch.”
“And has he succeeded?”
“Well, they’re not social
leaders yet. But it’s only a question of
time generation or two especially
if time’s money, and if Every Other Week is
the success it’s bound to be.”
“You don’t mean to say,
Fulkerson,” said March, with a half-doubting,
half-daunted laugh, “that he’s your Angel?”
“That’s what I mean to
say,” returned Fulkerson. “I ran onto
him in Broadway one day last summer. If you ever
saw anybody in your life; you’re sure to meet
him in Broadway again, sooner or later. That’s
the philosophy of the bunco business; country people
from the same neighborhood are sure to run up against
each other the first time they come to New York.
I put out my hand, and I said, ’Isn’t this
Mr. Dryfoos from Moffitt?’ He didn’t seem
to have any use for my hand; he let me keep it, and
he squared those old lips of his till his imperial
stuck straight out. Ever see Bernhardt in ‘L’Etrangere’?
Well, the American husband is old Dryfoos all over;
no mustache; and hay-colored chin-whiskers cut slanting
froze the corners of his mouth. He cocked his
little gray eyes at me, and says he: ’Yes,
young man; my name is Dryfoos, and I’m from
Moffitt. But I don’t want no present of
Longfellow’s Works, illustrated; and I don’t
want to taste no fine teas; but I know a policeman
that does; and if you’re the son of my old friend
Squire Strohfeldt, you’d better get out.’
‘Well, then,’ said I, ’how would
you like to go into the newspaper syndicate business?’
He gave another look at me, and then he burst out
laughing, and he grabbed my hand, and he just froze
to it. I never saw anybody so glad.
“Well, the long and the short
of it was that I asked him round here to Maroni’s
to dinner; and before we broke up for the night we
had settled the financial side of the plan that’s
brought you to New York.”
“I can see,” said Fulkerson,
who had kept his eyes fast on March’s face,
“that you don’t more than half like the
idea of Dryfoos. It ought to give you more confidence
in the thing than you ever had. You needn’t
be afraid,” he added, with some feeling, “that
I talked Dryfoos into the thing for my own advantage.”
“Oh, my dear Fulkerson!”
March protested, all the more fervently because he
was really a little guilty.
“Well, of course not! I
didn’t mean you were. But I just happened
to tell him what I wanted to go into when I could
see my way to it, and he caught on of his own accord.
The fact is,” said Fulkerson, “I guess
I’d better make a clean breast of it, now I’m
at it, Dryfoos wanted to get something for that boy
of his to do. He’s in railroads himself,
and he’s in mines and other things, and he keeps
busy, and he can’t bear to have his boy hanging
round the house doing nothing, like as if he was a
girl. I told him that the great object of a rich
man was to get his son into just that fix, but he
couldn’t seem to see it, and the boy hated it
himself. He’s got a good head, and he wanted
to study for the ministry when they were all living
together out on the farm; but his father had the old-fashioned
ideas about that. You know they used to think
that any sort of stuff was good enough to make a preacher
out of; but they wanted the good timber for business;
and so the old man wouldn’t let him. You’ll
see the fellow; you’ll like him; he’s
no fool, I can tell you; and he’s going to be
our publisher, nominally at first and actually when
I’ve taught him the ropes a little.”