If one has money enough, there seems
no reason why one should not go and buy such a horse
as he wants. This is the commonly accepted theory,
on which the whole commerce in horses is founded,
and on which my friend proceeded.
He was about removing from Charlesbridge,
where he had lived many happy years without a horse,
farther into the country, where there were charming
drives and inconvenient distances, and where a horse
would be very desirable, if not quite necessary.
But as a horse seemed at first an extravagant if not
sinful desire, he began by talking vaguely round,
and rather hinting than declaring that he thought somewhat
of buying. The professor to whom he first intimated
his purpose flung himself from his horse’s back
to the grassy border of the sidewalk where my friend
stood, and said he would give him a few points.
“In the first place don’t buy a horse
that shows much daylight under him, unless you buy
a horse-doctor with him; get a short-legged
horse; and he ought to be short and thick in the barrel,” or
words to that effect. “Don’t get a
horse with a narrow forehead: there are horse-fools
as well as the other kind, and you want a horse with
room for brains. And look out that he’s
all right forward.”
“What’s that?” asked
my friend, hearing this phrase for the first time.
“That he isn’t tender
in his fore-feet, that the hoof isn’t
contracted,” said the professor, pointing out
the well-planted foot of his own animal.
“What ought I to pay for a horse?”
pursued my friend, struggling to fix the points given
by the professor in a mind hitherto unused to points
of the kind.
“Well, horses are cheap, now;
and you ought to get a fair family horse You
want a family horse?”
“Yes.”
“Something you can ride and
drive both? Something your children can drive?”
“Yes, yes.”
“Well, you ought to get such
a horse as that for a hundred and twenty-five dollars.”
This was the figure my friend had
thought of; he drew a breath of relief. “Where
did you buy your horse?”
“Oh, I always get my horses” the
plural abashed my friend “at the
Chevaliers’. If you throw yourself on their
mercy, they’ll treat you well. I’ll
send you a note to them.”
“Do!” cried my friend,
as the professor sprang upon his horse, and galloped
away.
My friend walked home encouraged;
his purpose of buying a horse had not seemed so monstrous,
at least to this hardened offender. He now began
to announce it more boldly; he said right and left
that he wished to buy a horse, but that he would not
go above a hundred. This was not true, but he
wished to act prudently, and to pay a hundred and twenty-five
only in extremity. He carried the professor’s
note to the Chevaliers’, who duly honored it,
understood at once what my friend wanted, and said
they would look out for him. They were sorry
he had not happened in a little sooner, they
had just sold the very horse he wanted. I may
as well say here that they were not able to find him
a horse, but that they used him with the strictest
honor, and that short of supplying his want they were
perfect.
In the mean time the irregular dealers
began to descend upon him, as well as amateurs to
whom he had mentioned his wish for a horse, and his
premises at certain hours of the morning presented
the effect of a horse-fair, or say rather a museum
of equine bricabrac. At first he blushed at the
spectacle, but he soon became hardened to it, and liked
the excitement of driving one horse after another round
the block, and deciding upon him. To a horse,
they had none of the qualities commended by the professor,
but they had many others which the dealers praised.
These persons were not discouraged when he refused
to buy, but cheerfully returned the next day with
others differently ruinous. They were men of
a spirit more obliging than my friend has found in
other walks. One of them, who paid him a prefatory
visit in his library, in five minutes augmented from
six to seven hundred and fifty pounds the weight of
a pony-horse, which he wished to sell. ("What you want,”
said the Chevaliers, “is a pony-horse,”
and my friend, gratefully catching at the phrase,
had gone about saying he wanted a pony-horse.
After that, hulking brutes of from eleven to thirteen
hundred pounds were every day brought to him as pony-horses.)
The same dealer came another day with a mustang, in
whom was no fault, and who had every appearance of
speed, but who was only marking time as it is called
in military drill, I believe, when he seemed to be
getting swiftly over the ground; he showed a sociable
preference for the curbstone in turning corners, and
was condemned, to be replaced the next evening by
a pony-horse that a child might ride or drive, and
that especially would not shy. Upon experiment,
he shied half across the road, and the fact was reported
to the dealer. He smiled compassionately.
“What did he shy at?”
“A wheelbarrow.”
“Well! I never see the hoss yet
that wouldn’t shy at a wheelbarrow.”
My friend owned that a wheelbarrow
was of an alarming presence, but he had his reserves
respecting the self-control and intelligence of this
pony-horse. The dealer amiably withdrew him, and
said that he would bring next day a horse if
he could get the owner to part with a family pet that
would suit; but upon investigation it appeared
that this treasure was what is called a calico-horse,
and my friend, who was without the ambition to figure
in the popular eye as a stray circus-rider, declined
to see him.
These adventurous spirits were not
squeamish. They thrust their hands into the lathery
mouths of their brutes to show the state of their
teeth, and wiped their fingers on their trousers or
grass afterwards, without a tremor, though my friend
could never forbear a shudder at the sight. If
sometimes they came with a desirable animal, the price
was far beyond his modest figure; but generally they
seemed to think that he did not want a desirable animal.
In most cases, the pony-horse pronounced sentence
upon himself by some gross and ridiculous blemish;
but sometimes my friend failed to hit upon any tenable
excuse for refusing him. In such an event, he
would say, with an air of easy and candid comradery,
“Well, now, what’s the matter with him?”
And then the dealer, passing his hand down one of
the pony-horse’s fore-legs, would respond, with
an upward glance of searching inquiry at my friend,
“Well, he’s a leetle mite tender for’a’d.”
I am afraid my friend grew to have
a cruel pleasure in forcing them to this exposure
of the truth; but he excused himself upon the ground
that they never expected him to be alarmed at this
tenderness forward, and that their truth was not a
tribute to virtue, but was contempt of his ignorance.
Nevertheless, it was truth; and he felt that it must
be his part thereafter to confute the common belief
that there is no truth in horse-trades.
These people were not usually the
owners of the horses they brought, but the emissaries
or agents of the owners. Often they came merely
to show a horse, and were not at all sure that his
owner would part with him on any terms, as he was
a favorite with the ladies of the family. An
impenetrable mystery hung about the owner, through
which he sometimes dimly loomed as a gentleman in
failing health, who had to give up his daily drives,
and had no use for the horse. There were cases
in which the dealer came secretly, from pure zeal,
to show a horse whose owner supposed him still in
the stable, and who must be taken back before his
absence was noticed. If my friend insisted upon
knowing the owner and conferring with him, in any
of these instances, it was darkly admitted that he
was a gentleman in the livery business over in Somerville
or down in the Lower Port. Truth, it seemed,
might be absent or present in a horse-trade, but mystery
was essential.
The dealers had a jargon of their
own, in which my friend became an expert. They
did not say that a horse weighed a thousand pounds,
but ten hundred; he was not worth a hundred and twenty-five
dollars, but one and a quarter; he was not going on
seven years old, but was coming seven. There
are curious facts, by the way, in regard to the age
of horses which are not generally known. A horse
is never of an even age: that is, he is not six,
or eight, or ten, but five, or seven, or nine years
old; he is sometimes, but not often, eleven; he is
never thirteen; his favorite time of life is
seven, and he rarely gets beyond it, if on sale.
My friend found the number of horses brought into the
world in 1871 quite beyond computation.
He also found that most hard-working
horses were sick or ailing, as most hard-working men
and women are; that perfectly sound horses are as rare
as perfectly sound human beings, and are apt, like
the latter, to be vicious.
He began to have a quick eye for the
characteristics of horses, and could walk round a
proffered animal and scan his points with the best.
“What,” he would ask, of a given beast,
“makes him let his lower lip hang down in that
imbecile manner?”
“Oh, he’s got a parrot-mouth.
Some folks like ’em.” Here the dealer
would pull open the creature’s flabby lips, and
discover a beak like that of a polyp; and the cleansing
process on the grass or trousers would take place.
Of another. “What makes
him trot in that spread-out, squatty way, behind?”
he demanded, after the usual tour of the block.
“He travels wide. Horse men prefer that.”
They preferred any ugliness or awkwardness
in a horse to the opposite grace or charm, and all
that my friend could urge, in meek withdrawal from
negotiation, was that he was not of an educated taste.
In the course of long talks, which frequently took
the form of warnings, he became wise in the tricks
practiced by all dealers except his interlocutor.
One of these, a device for restoring youth to an animal
nearing the dangerous limit of eleven, struck him as
peculiarly ingenious. You pierce the forehead,
and blow into it with a quill; this gives an agreeable
fullness, and erects the drooping ears in a spirited
and mettlesome manner, so that a horse coming eleven
will look for a time as if he were coming five.
After a thorough course of the volunteer
dealers, and after haunting the Chevaliers’
stables for several weeks, my friend found that not
money alone was needed to buy a horse. The affair
began to wear a sinister aspect. He had an uneasy
fear that in several cases he had refused the very
horse he wanted with the aplomb he had acquired
in dismissing undesirable beasts. The fact was
he knew less about horses than when he began to buy,
while he had indefinitely enlarged his idle knowledge
of men, of their fatuity and hollowness. He learned
that men whom he had always envied their brilliant
omniscience in regard to horses, as they drove him
out behind their dashing trotters, were quite ignorant
and helpless in the art of buying; they always got
somebody else to buy their horses for them. “Find
a man you can trust,” they said, “and then
put yourself in his hands. And never trust
anybody about the health of a horse. Take him
to a veterinary surgeon, and have him go all over
him.”
My friend grew sardonic; then he grew
melancholy and haggard. There was something very
strange in the fact that a person unattainted of crime,
and not morally disabled in any known way, could not
take his money and buy such a horse as he wanted with
it. His acquaintance began to recommend men to
him. “If you want a horse, Captain Jenks
is your man.” “Why don’t you
go to Major Snaffle? He’d take pleasure
in it.” But my friend, naturally reluctant
to trouble others, and sickened by long failure, as
well as maddened by the absurdity that if you wanted
a horse you must first get a man, neglected this really
good advice. He lost his interest in the business,
and dismissed with lack-lustre indifference the horses
which continued to be brought to his gate. He
felt that his position before the community was becoming
notorious and ridiculous. He slept badly; his
long endeavor for a horse ended in nightmares.
One day he said to a gentleman whose
turn-out he had long admired, “I wonder if you
couldn’t find me a horse!”
“Want a horse?”
“Want a horse! I thought
my need was known beyond the sun. I thought my
want of a horse was branded on my forehead.”
This gentleman laughed, and then he
said, “I’ve just seen a mare that would
suit you. I thought of buying her, but I want
a match, and this mare is too small. She’ll
be round here in fifteen minutes, and I’ll take
you out with her. Can you wait?”
“Wait!” My friend laughed in his turn.
The mare dashed up before the fifteen
minutes had passed. She was beautiful, black
as a coal; and kind as a kitten, said her driver.
My friend thought her head was rather big. “Why,
yes, she’s a pony-horse; that’s
what I like about her.”
She trotted off wonderfully, and my
friend felt that the thing was now done.
The gentleman, who was driving, laid
his head on one side, and listened. “Clicks,
don’t she?”
“She does click,” said my friend
obligingly.
“Hear it?” asked the gentleman.
“Well, if you ask me,”
said my friend, “I don’t hear it.
What is clicking?”
“Oh, striking the heel of her
fore-foot with the toe of her hind-foot. Sometimes
it comes from bad shoeing. Some people like it.
I don’t myself.” After a while he
added, “If you can get this mare for a hundred
and twenty-five, you’d better buy her.”
“Well, I will,” said my
friend. He would have bought her, in fact, if
she had clicked like a noiseless sewing-machine.
But the owner, remote as Medford, and invisibly dealing,
as usual, through a third person, would not sell her
for one and a quarter; he wanted one and a half.
Besides, another Party was trying to get her; and now
ensued a negotiation which for intricacy and mystery
surpassed all the others. It was conducted in
my friend’s interest by one who had the difficult
task of keeping the owner’s imagination in check
and his demands within bounds, for it soon appeared
that he wanted even more than one and a half for her.
Unseen and inaccessible, he grew every day more unmanageable.
He entered into relations with the other Party, and
it all ended in his sending her out one day after
my friend had gone into the country, and requiring
him to say at once that he would give one and a half.
He was not at home, and he never saw the little mare
again. This confirmed him in the belief that
she was the very horse he ought to have had.
People had now begun to say to him,
“Why don’t you advertise? Advertise
for a gentleman’s pony-horse and phaeton and
harness complete. You’ll have a perfect
procession of them before night.” This proved
true. His advertisement, mystically worded after
the fashion of those things, found abundant response.
But the establishments which he would have taken he
could not get at the figure he had set, and those which
his money would buy he would not have. They came
at all hours of the day; and he never returned home
after an an absence without meeting the reproach that
now the very horse he wanted had just been driven
away, and would not be brought back, as his owner
lived in Billerica, and only happened to be down.
A few équipages really appeared desirable, but
in regard to these his jaded faculties refused to
work: he could decide nothing; his volition was
extinct; he let them come and go.
It was at this period that people
who had at first been surprised that he wished to
buy a horse came to believe that he had bought one,
and were astonished to learn that he had not.
He felt the pressure of public opinion.
He began to haunt the different sale-stables
in town, and to look at horses with a view to buying
at private sale. Every facility for testing them
was offered him, but he could not make up his mind.
In feeble wantonness he gave appointments which he
knew he should not keep, and, passing his days in
an agony of multitudinous indecision, he added to
the lies in the world the hideous sum of his broken
engagements. From time to time he forlornly appeared
at the Chevaliers’, and refreshed his corrupted
nature by contact with their sterling integrity.
Once he ventured into their establishment just before
an auction began, and remained dazzled by the splendor
of a spectacle which I fancy can be paralleled only
by some dream of a mediaeval tournament. The horses,
brilliantly harnessed, accurately shod, and standing
tall on burnished hooves, their necks curved by the
check rein and their black and blonde manes flowing
over the proud arch, lustrous and wrinkled like satin,
were ranged in a glittering hemicycle. They affected
my friend like the youth and beauty of his earliest
evening parties; he experienced a sense of bashfulness,
of sickening personal demerit. He could not have
had the audacity to bid on one of those superb creatures,
if all the Chevaliers together had whispered him that
here at last was the very horse.
I pass over an unprofitable interval
in which he abandoned himself to despair, and really
gave up the hope of being able ever to buy a horse.
During this interval he removed from Charlesbridge
to the country, and found himself, to his self-scorn
and self-pity, actually reduced to hiring a livery
horse by the day. But relief was at hand.
The carpenter who had remained to finish up the new
house after my friend had gone into it bethought himself
of a firm in his place who brought on horses from
the West, and had the practice of selling a horse on
trial, and constantly replacing it with other horses
till the purchaser was suited. This seemed an
ideal arrangement, and the carpenter said that he
thought they had the very horse my friend wanted.
The next day he drove him up, and
upon the plan of successive exchanges till the perfect
horse was reached, my friend bought him for one and
a quarter, the figure which he had kept in mind from
the first. He bought a phaeton and harness from
the same people, and when the whole equipage stood
at his door, he felt the long-delayed thrill of pride
and satisfaction. The horse was of the Morgan
breed, a bright bay, small and round and neat, with
a little head tossed high, and a gentle yet alert
movement. He was in the prime of youth, of the
age of which every horse desires to be, and was just
coming seven. My friend had already taken him
to a horse-doctor, who for one dollar had gone all
over him, and pronounced him sound as a fish, and
complimented his new owner upon his acquisition.
It all seemed too good to be true. As Billy turned
his soft eye on the admiring family group, and suffered
one of the children to smooth his nose while another
held a lump of sugar to his dainty lips, his amiable
behavior restored my friend to his peace of mind and
his long-lost faith in a world of reason.
The ridiculous planet, wavering bat-like
through space, on which it had been impossible for
an innocent man to buy a suitable horse was a dream
of the past, and he had the solid, sensible old earth
under his feet once more. He mounted into the
phaeton and drove off with his wife; he returned and
gave each of the children a drive in succession.
He told them that any of them could drive Billy as
much as they liked, and he quieted a clamor for exclusive
ownership on the part of each by declaring that Billy
belonged to the whole family. To this day he cannot
look back to those moments without tenderness.
If Billy had any apparent fault, it was an amiable
indolence. But this made him all the safer for
the children, and it did not really amount to laziness.
While on sale he had been driven in a provision cart,
and had therefore the habit of standing unhitched.
One had merely to fling the reins into the bottom of
the phaeton and leave Billy to his own custody.
His other habit of drawing up at kitchen gates was
not confirmed, and the fact that he stumbled on his
way to the doctor who pronounced him blameless was
reasonably attributed to a loose stone at the foot
of the hill; the misstep resulted in a barked shin,
but a little wheel-grease, in a horse of Billy’s
complexion, easily removed the evidence of this.
It was natural that after Billy was
bought and paid for, several extremely desirable horses
should be offered to my friend by their owners, who
came in person, stripped of all the adventitious mystery
of agents and middle-men. They were gentlemen,
and they spoke the English habitual with persons not
corrupted by horses. My friend saw them come
and go with grief; for he did not like to be shaken
in his belief that Billy was the only horse in the
world for him, and he would have liked to purchase
their animals, if only to show his appreciation of
honor and frankness and sane language. Yet he
was consoled by the possession of Billy, whom he found
increasingly excellent and trustworthy. Any of
the family drove him about; he stood unhitched; he
was not afraid of cars; he was as kind as a kitten;
he had not, as the neighboring coachman said, a voice,
though he seemed a little loively in coming out of
the stable sometimes. He went well under the
saddle; he was a beauty, and if he had a voice, it
was too great satisfaction in his personal appearance.
One evening after tea, the young gentleman,
who was about to drive Billy out, stung by the reflection
that he had not taken blackberries and cream twice,
ran into the house to repair the omission, and left
Billy, as usual, unhitched at the door. During
his absence, Billy caught sight of his stable, and
involuntarily moved towards it. Finding himself
unchecked, he gently increased his pace; and when my
friend, looking up from the melon-patch which he was
admiring, called out, “Ho, Billy! Whoa,
Billy!” and headed him off from the gap, Billy
profited by the circumstance to turn into the pear
orchard. The elastic turf under his unguided
hoof seemed to exhilarate him; his pace became a trot,
a canter, a gallop, a tornado; the reins fluttered
like ribbons in the air; the phaeton flew ruining
after. In a terrible cyclone the equipage swept
round the neighbor’s house, vanished, reappeared,
swooped down his lawn, and vanished again. It
was incredible.
My friend stood transfixed among his
melons. He knew that his neighbor’s children
played under the porte-cochère on the other
side of the house which Billy had just surrounded
in his flight, and probably.... My friend’s
first impulse was not to go and see, but to walk into
his own house, and ignore the whole affair. But
you cannot really ignore an affair of that kind.
You must face it, and commonly it stares you out of
countenance. Commonly, too, it knows how to choose
its time so as to disgrace as well as crush its victim.
His neighbor had people to tea, and long before my
friend reached the house the host and his guests were
all out on the lawn, having taken the precaution to
bring their napkins with them.
“The children!” gasped my friend.
“Oh, they were all in bed,”
said the neighbor, and he began to laugh. That
was right; my friend would have mocked at the calamity
if it had been his neighbor’s. “Let
us go and look up your phaeton.” He put
his hand on the naked flank of a fine young elm, from
which the bark had just been stripped. “Billy
seems to have passed this way.”
At the foot of a stone-wall four feet
high lay the phaeton, with three wheels in the air,
and the fourth crushed flat against the axle; the
willow back was broken, the shafts were pulled out,
and Billy was gone.
“Good thing there was nobody in it,” said
the neighbor.
“Good thing it didn’t
run down some Irish family, and get you in for damages,”
said a guest.
It appeared, then, that there were
two good things about this disaster. My friend
had not thought there were so many, but while he rejoiced
in this fact, he rebelled at the notion that a sorrow
like that rendered the sufferer in any event liable
for damages, and he resolved that he never would have
paid them. But probably he would.
Some half-grown boys got the phaeton
right-side up, and restored its shafts and cushions,
and it limped away with them towards the carriage-house.
Presently another half-grown boy came riding Billy
up the hill. Billy showed an inflated nostril
and an excited eye, but physically he was unharmed,
save for a slight scratch on what was described as
the off hind-leg; the reader may choose which leg this
was.
“The worst of it is,”
said the guest, “that you never can trust ’em
after they’ve run off once.”
“Have some tea?” said the host to my friend.
“No, thank you,” said
my friend, in whose heart the worst of it rankled;
and he walked home embittered by his guilty consciousness
that Billy ought never to have been left untied.
But it was not this self-reproach; it was not the
mutilated phaeton; it was not the loss of Billy, who
must now be sold; it was the wreck of settled hopes,
the renewed suspense of faith, the repetition of the
tragical farce of buying another horse, that most
grieved my friend.
Billy’s former owners made a
feint of supplying other horses in his place, but
the only horse supplied was an aged veteran with the
scratches, who must have come seven early in our era,
and who, from his habit of getting about on tiptoe,
must have been tender for’a’d beyond anything
of my friend’s previous experience. Probably
if he could have waited they might have replaced Billy
in time, but their next installment from the West
produced nothing suited to his wants but a horse with
the presence and carriage of a pig, and he preferred
to let them sell Billy for what he would bring, and
to trust his fate elsewhere. Billy had fallen
nearly one half in value, and he brought very little to
his owner; though the new purchaser was afterwards
reported to value him at much more than what my friend
had paid for him. These things are really mysteries;
you cannot fathom them; it is idle to try. My
friend remained grieving over his own folly and carelessness,
with a fond hankering for the poor little horse he
had lost, and the belief that he should never find
such another. Yet he was not without a philanthropist’s
consolation. He had added to the stock of harmless
pleasures in a degree of which he could not have dreamed.
All his acquaintance knew that he had bought a horse,
and they all seemed now to conspire in asking him
how he got on with it. He was forced to confess
the truth. On hearing it, his friends burst into
shouts of laughter, and smote their persons, and stayed
themselves against lamp-posts and house-walls.
They begged his pardon, and then they began again,
and shouted and roared anew. Since the gale which
blew down the poet ’s chimneys
and put him to the expense of rebuilding them, no joke
so generally satisfactory had been offered to the
community. My friend had, in his time, achieved
the reputation of a wit by going about and and saying,
“Did you know ’s chimneys
had blown down?” and he had now himself the
pleasure of causing the like quality of wit in others.
Having abandoned the hope of getting
anything out of the people who had sold him Billy,
he was for a time the prey of an inert despair, in
which he had not even spirit to repine at the disorder
of a universe in which he could not find a horse.
No horses were now offered to him, for it had become
known throughout the trade that he had bought a horse.
He had therefore to set about counteracting this impression
with what feeble powers were left him. Of the
facts of that period he remembers with confusion and
remorse the trouble to which he put the owner of the
pony-horse Pansy, whom he visited repeatedly in a neighboring
town, at a loss of time and money to himself, and
with no result but to embarrass Pansy’s owner
in his relations with people who had hired him and
did not wish him sold. Something of the old baffling
mystery hung over Pansy’s whereabouts; he was
with difficulty produced, and when en evidence
he was not the Pansy my friend had expected.
He paltered with his regrets; he covered his disappointment
with what pretenses he could; and he waited till he
could telegraph back his adverse decision. His
conclusion was that, next to proposing marriage, there
was no transaction of life that involved so many delicate
and complex relations as buying a horse, and that
the rupture of a horse-trade was little less embarrassing
and distressing to all concerned than a broken engagement.
There was a terrible intimacy in the affair; it was
alarmingly personal. He went about sorrowing
for the pain and disappointment he had inflicted on
many amiable people of all degrees who had tried to
supply him with a horse.
“Look here,” said his
neighbor, finding him in this low state, “why
don’t you get a horse of the gentleman who furnishes
mine?” This had been suggested before, and my
friend explained that he had disliked to make trouble.
His scruples were lightly set aside, and he suffered
himself to be entreated. The fact was he was so
discouraged with his attempt to buy a horse that if
any one had now given him such a horse as he wanted
he would have taken it.
One sunny, breezy morning his neighbor
drove my friend over to the beautiful farm of the
good genius on whose kindly offices he had now fixed
his languid hopes. I need not say what the landscape
was in mid-August, or how, as they drew near the farm,
the air was enriched with the breath of vast orchards
of early apples, apples that no forced
fingers rude shatter from their stems, but that ripen
and mellow untouched, till they drop into the straw
with which the orchard aisles are bedded; it is the
poetry of horticulture; it is Art practicing the wise
and gracious patience of Nature, and offering to the
Market a Summer Sweeting of the Hesperides.
The possessor of this luscious realm
at once took my friend’s case into consideration;
he listened, the owner of a hundred horses, with gentle
indulgence to the shapeless desires of a man whose
wildest dream was one horse. At the end
he said, “I see you want a horse that can take
care of himself.”
“No,” replied my friend,
with the inspiration of despair. “I want
a horse that can take care of me.”
The good genius laughed, and turned
the conversation. Neither he nor my friend’s
neighbor was a man of many words, and like taciturn
people they talked in low tones. The three moved
about the room and looked at the Hispano-Roman
pictures; they had a glass of sherry; from time to
time something was casually murmured about Frank.
My friend felt that he was in good hands, and left
the affair to them. It ended in a visit to the
stable, where it appeared that this gentleman had no
horse to sell among his hundred which exactly met
my friend’s want, but that he proposed to lend
him Frank while a certain other animal was put in training
for the difficult office he required of a horse.
One of the men was sent for Frank, and in the mean
time my friend was shown some gaunt and graceful thoroughbreds,
and taught to see the difference between them and the
plebeian horse. But Frank, though no thoroughbred,
eclipsed these patricians when he came. He had
a little head, and a neck gallantly arched; he was
black and plump and smooth, and though he carried himself
with a petted air, and was a dandy to the tips of his
hooves, his knowing eye was kindly. He turned
it upon my friend with the effect of understanding
his case at a glance.
It was in this way that for the rest
of the long, lovely summer peace was re-established
in his heart. There was no question of buying
or selling Frank; there were associations that endeared
him beyond money to his owner; but my friend could
take him without price. The situation had its
humiliation for a man who had been arrogantly trying
to buy a horse, but he submitted with grateful meekness,
and with what grace Heaven granted him; and Frank
gayly entered upon the peculiar duties of his position.
His first duty was to upset all preconceived notions
of the advantage of youth in a horse. Frank was
not merely not coming seven or nine, but his age was
an even number, he was sixteen; and it was
his owner’s theory, which Frank supported, that
if a horse was well used he was a good horse till
twenty-five.
The truth is that Frank looked like
a young horse; he was a dandy without any of the ghastliness
which attends the preservation of youth in old beaux
of another species. When my friend drove him in
the rehabilitated phaeton he felt that the turn-out
was stylish, and he learned to consult certain eccentricities
of Frank’s in the satisfaction of his pride.
One of these was a high reluctance to be passed on
the road. Frank was as lazy a horse but
lazy in a self-respectful, aesthetic way as
ever was; yet if he heard a vehicle at no matter how
great distance behind him (and he always heard it
before his driver), he brightened with resolution
and defiance, and struck out with speed that made
competition difficult. If my friend found that
the horse behind was likely to pass Frank, he made
a merit of holding him in. If they met a team,
he lay back in his phaeton, and affected not to care
to be going faster than a walk, any way.
One of the things for which he chiefly
prized Frank was his skill in backing and turning.
He is one of those men who become greatly perturbed
when required to back and turn a vehicle; he cannot
tell (till too late) whether he ought to pull the
right rein in order to back to the left, or vice
versa; he knows, indeed, the principle, but he
becomes paralyzed in its application. Frank never
was embarrassed, never confused. My friend had
but to say, “Back, Frank!” and Frank knew
from the nature of the ground how far to back and
which way to turn. He has thus extricated my
friend from positions in which it appeared to him that
no earthly power could relieve him.
In going up hill Frank knew just when
to give himself a rest, and at what moment to join
the party in looking about and enjoying the prospect.
He was also an adept in scratching off flies, and had
a precision in reaching an insect anywhere in his
van with one of his rear hooves which few of us attain
in slapping mosquitoes. This action sometimes
disquieted persons in the phaeton, but Frank knew perfectly
well what he was about, and if harm had happened to
the people under his charge my friend was sure that
Frank could have done anything short of applying arnica
and telegraphing to their friends. His varied
knowledge of life and his long experience had satisfied
him that there were very few things to be afraid of
in this world. Such womanish weaknesses as shying
and starting were far from him, and he regarded the
boisterous behavior of locomotives with indifference.
He had not, indeed, the virtue of one horse offered
to my friend’s purchase, of standing, unmoved,
with his nose against a passing express train; but
he was certainly not afraid of the cars.
Frank was by no means what Mr. Emerson
calls a mush of concession; he was not merely amiable;
he had his moments of self-assertion, his touches
of asperity. It was not safe to pat his nose,
like the erring Billy’s; he was apt to bring
his handsome teeth together in proximity to the caressing
hand with a sharp click and a sarcastic grin.
Not that he ever did, or ever would really bite.
So, too, when left to stand long under fly-haunted
cover, he would start off afterwards with alarming
vehemence; and he objected to the saddle. On the
only occasion when any of my friend’s family
mounted him, he trotted gayly over the grass towards
the house, with the young gentleman on his back; then,
without warning, he stopped short, a slight tremor
appeared to pass over him, and his rider continued
the excursion some ten feet farther, alighting lump-wise
on a bunch of soft turf which Frank had selected for
his reception.
The summer passed, and in the comfort
of Frank’s possession my friend had almost abandoned
the idea of ever returning him to his owner. He
had thoughts of making the loan permanent, as something
on the whole preferable to a purchase. The drives
continued quite into December, over roads as smooth
and hard as any in June, and the air was delicious.
The first snow brought the suggestion of sleighing;
but that cold weather about Christmas dispersed these
gay thoughts, and restored my friend to virtue.
Word came from the stable that Frank’s legs were
swelling from standing so long without going out,
and my friend resolved to part with an animal for
which he had no use. I do not praise him for this;
it was no more than his duty; but I record his action
in order to account for the fact that he is again
without a horse, and now, with the opening of the
fine weather, is beginning once more to think of buying
one.
But he is in no mood of arrogant confidence.
He has satisfied himself that neither love nor money
is alone adequate to the acquisition: the fates
also must favor it. The horse which Frank’s
owner has had in training may or may not be just the
horse he wants. He does not know; he humbly waits;
and he trembles at the alternative of horses, mystically
summoned from space, and multitudinously advancing
upon him, parrot-mouthed, pony-gaited, tender for’a’d,
and traveling wide behind.