She wore around the turned-up brim
of her bolero-like toque a band of violets not so
much in keeping with the gray of the austere November
day as with the blue of her faded autumnal eyes.
Her eyes were autumnal, but it was not from this,
or from the lines of maturity graven on the passing
prettiness of her little face, that the notion and
the name of Mother-Bird suggested itself. She
became known as the Mother-Bird to the tender ironic
fancy of the earliest, if not the latest, of her friends,
because she was slight and small, and like a bird
in her eager movements, and because she spoke so instantly
and so constantly of her children in Dresden:
before you knew anything else of her you knew that
she was going out to them.
She was quite alone, and she gave
the sense of claiming their protection, and sheltering
herself in the fact of them. When she mentioned
her daughters she had the effect of feeling herself
chaperoned by them. You could not go behind them
and find her wanting in the social guarantees which
women on steamers, if not men, exact of lonely birds
of passage who are not mother-birds. One must
respect the convention by which she safeguarded herself
and tried to make good her standing; yet it did not
lastingly avail her with other birds of passage, so
far as they were themselves mother-birds, or sometimes
only maiden-birds. The day had not ended before
they began to hold her off by slight liftings
of their wings and rufflings of their feathers, by
quick, evasive flutterings, by subtle ignorances
of her approach, which convinced no one but themselves
that they had not seen her. She sailed with the
sort of acquaintance-in-common which every one shares
on a ship leaving port, when people are confused by
the kindness of friends coming to see them off after
sending baskets of fruit and sheaves of flowers, and
scarcely know what they are doing or saying.
But when the ship was abreast of Fire Island, and the
pilot had gone over the side, these provisional intimacies
of the parting hour began to restrict themselves.
Then the Mother-Bird did not know half the women she
had known at the pier, or quite all the men.
It was not that she did anything obvious
to forfeit this knowledge. Her behavior was if
anything too exemplary; it might be thought to form
a reproach to others. Perhaps it was the unseasonable
band of violets around her hat-brim; perhaps it was
the vernal gaiety of her dress; perhaps it was the
uncertainty of her anxious eyes, which presumed while
they implored. A mother-bird must not hover too
confidently, too appealingly, near coveys whose preoccupations
she does not share. It might have been her looking
and dressing younger than nature justified; at forty
one must not look thirty; in November one must not,
even involuntarily, wear the things of May if one would
have others believe in one’s devotion to one’s
children in Dresden; one alleges in vain one’s
impatience to join them as grounds for joining groups
or detached persons who have begun to write home to
their children in New York or Boston.
The very readiness of the Mother-Bird
to give security by the mention of well-known names,
to offer proof of her social solvency by the eager
correctness of her behavior, created reluctance around
her. Some would not have her at all from the
first; others, who had partially or conditionally
accepted her, returned her upon her hands and withdrew
from the negotiation. More and more she found
herself outside that hard woman-world, and trying
less and less to beat her way into it.
The women may have known her better
even than she knew herself, and it may have been through
ignorance greater than her own that the men were more
acquiescent. But the men too were not so acquiescent,
or not at all, as time passed.
It would be hard to fix the day, the
hour, far harder the moment, when the Mother-Bird
began to disappear from the drawing-room and to appear
in the smoking-room, or say whether she passed from
the one to the other in a voluntary exile or by the
rigor of the women’s unwritten law. Still,
from time to time she was seen in their part of the
ship, after she was also seen where the band of violets
showed strange and sad through veils of smoke that
were not dense enough to hide her poor, pretty little
face, with its faded blue eyes and wistful mouth.
There she passed by quick transition from the conversation
of the graver elderly smokers to the loud laughter
of two birds of prey who became her comrades, or such
friends as birds like them can be to birds like her.
From anything she had said or done
there was no reason for her lapse from the women and
the better men to such men; for her transition from
the better sort of women there was no reason except
that it happened. Whether she attached herself
to the birds of prey, or they to her, by that instinct
which enables birds of all kinds to know themselves
of a feather remained a touching question.
There remained to the end the question
whether she was of a feather with them, or whether
it was by some mischance, or by some such stress of
the elements as drives birds of any feather to flock
with birds of any other. To the end there remained
a distracted and forsaken innocence in her looks.
It was imaginable that she had made overtures to the
birds of prey because she had made overtures to every
one else; she was always seeking rather than sought,
and her acceptance with them was as deplorable as
her refusal by better birds. Often they were
seen without her, when they had that look of having
escaped, which others wore; but she was not often
seen without them.
There is not much walking-weather
on a November passage, and she was seen less with
them in the early dark outdoors than in the late light
within, by which she wavered a small form through the
haze of their cigars in the smoking-room, or in the
grill-room, where she showed in faint eclipse through
the fumes of the broiling and frying, or through the
vapors of the hot whiskies. The birds of prey
were then heard laughing, but whether at her or with
her it must have been equally sorrowful to learn.
Perhaps they were laughing at the
maternal fondness which she had used for introduction
to the general acquaintance lost almost in the moment
of winning it. She seemed not to resent their
laughter, though she seemed not to join in it.
The worst of her was the company she kept; but since
no better would allow her to keep it, you could not
confidently say she would not have liked the best company
on board. At the same time you could not have
said she would; you could not have been sure it would
not have bored her. Doubtless these results are
not solely the sport of chance; they must be somewhat
the event of choice if not of desert.
For anything you could have sworn,
the Mother-Bird would have liked to be as good as
the best. But since it was not possible for her
to be good in the society of the best, she could only
be good in that of the worst. It was to be hoped
that the birds of prey were not cruel to her; that
their mockery was never unkind if ever it was mockery.
The cruelty which must come came when they began to
be seen less and less with her, even at the late suppers,
through the haze of their cigars and the smoke of
the broiling and frying, and the vapors of the hot
whiskies. Then it was the sharpest pang of all
to meet her wandering up and down the ship’s
promenades, or leaning on the rail and looking dimly
out over the foam-whitened black sea. It is the
necessity of birds of prey to get rid of other birds
when they are tired of them, and it had doubtless
come to that.
One night, the night before getting
into port, when the curiosity which always followed
her with grief failed of her in the heightened hilarity
of the smoking-room, where the last bets on the ship’s
run were making, it found her alone beside a little
iron table, of those set in certain nooks outside
the grill-room. There she sat with no one near,
where the light from within fell palely upon her.
The boon birds of prey, with whom she had been supping,
had abandoned her, and she was supporting her cheek
on the small hand of the arm that rested on the table.
She leaned forward, and swayed with the swaying ship;
the violets in her bolero-toque quivered with the
vibrations of the machinery. She was asleep,
poor Mother-Bird, and it would have been impossible
not to wish her dreams were kind.