They were talking after dinner in
that cozy moment when the conversation has ripened,
just before the coffee, into mocking guesses and laughing
suggestions. The thing they were talking of was
something that would have held them apart if less
happily timed and placed, but then and there it drew
these together in what most of them felt a charming
and flattering intimacy. Not all of them took
part in the talk, and of those who did, none perhaps
assumed to talk with authority or finality. At
first they spoke of the subject as it, forbearing
to name it, as if the name of it would convey an unpleasant
shock, out of temper with the general feeling.
“I don’t suppose,”
the host said, “that it’s really so much
commoner than it used to be. But the publicity
is more invasive and explosive. That’s
perhaps because it has got higher up in the world and
has spread more among the first circles. The
time was when you seldom heard of it there, and now
it is scarcely a scandal. I remember that when
I went abroad, twenty or thirty years ago, and the
English brought me to book about it, I could put them
down by saying that I didn’t know a single divorced
person.”
“And of course,” a bachelor
guest ventured, “a person of that sort must
be single.”
At first the others did not take the
joke; then they laughed, but the women not so much
as the men.
“And you couldn’t say
that now?” the lady on the right of the host
inquired.
“Why, I don’t know,”
he returned, thoughtfully, after a little interval.
“I don’t just call one to mind.”
“Then,” the bachelor said,
“that classes you. If you moved in our best
society you would certainly know some of the many smart
people whose disunions alternate with the morning
murders in the daily papers.”
“Yes, the fact seems to rank
me rather low; but I’m rather proud of the fact.”
The hostess seemed not quite to like
this arrogant humility. She said, over the length
of the table (it was not very long), “I’m
sure you know some very nice people who have not been.”
“Well, yes, I do. But are
they really smart people? They’re of very
good family, certainly.”
“You mustn’t brag,” the bachelor
said.
A husband on the right of the hostess
wondered if there were really more of the thing than
there used to be.
“Qualitatively, yes, I should
say. Quantitatively, I’m not convinced,”
the host answered. “In a good many of the
States it’s been made difficult.”
The husband on the right of the hostess
was not convinced, he said, as to the qualitative
increase. The parties to the suits were rich
enough, and sometimes they were high enough placed
and far enough derived. But there was nearly
always a leak in them, a social leak somewhere, on
one side or the other. They could not be said
to be persons of quality in the highest sense.
“Why, persons of quality seldom
can be,” the bachelor contended.
The girl opposite, who had been invited
to balance him in the scale of celibacy by the hostess
in her study of her dinner-party, first smiled, and
then alleged a very distinguished instance of divorce
in which the parties were both of immaculate origin
and unimpeachable fashion. “Nobody,”
she said, “can accuse them of a want of
quality.” She was good-looking, though
no longer so young as she could have wished; she flung
out her answer to the bachelor defiantly, but she
addressed it to the host, and he said that was true;
certainly it was a signal case; but wasn’t it
exceptional? The others mentioned like cases,
though none quite so perfect, and then there was a
lull till the husband on the left of the hostess noted
a fact which renewed the life of the discussion.
“There was a good deal of agitation,
six or eight years ago, about it. I don’t
know whether the agitation accomplished anything.”
The host believed it had influenced legislation.
“For or against?” the bachelor inquired.
“Oh, against.”
“But in other countries it’s
been coming in more and more. It seems to be
as easy in England now as it used to be in Indiana.
In France it’s nothing scandalous, and in Norwegian
society you meet so many disunited couples in a state
of quadruplicate reunion that it is very embarrassing.
It doesn’t seem to bother the parties to the
new relation themselves.”
“It’s very common in Germany,
too,” the husband on the right of the hostess
said.
The husband on her left side said
he did not know just how it was in Italy and Spain,
and no one offered to disperse his ignorance.
In the silence which ensued the lady
on the left of the host created a diversion in her
favor by saying that she had heard they had a very
good law in Switzerland.
Being asked to tell what it was, she
could not remember, but her husband, on the right
of the hostess, saved the credit of his family by
supplying her defect. “Oh, yes. It’s
very curious. We heard of it when we were there.
When people want to be put asunder, for any reason
or other, they go before a magistrate and declare their
wish. Then they go home, and at the end of a
certain time weeks or months the
magistrate summons them before him with a view to reconciliation.
If they come, it is a good sign; if they don’t
come, or come and persist in their desire, then they
are summoned after another interval, and are either
reconciled or put asunder, as the case may be, or as
they choose. It is not expensive, and I believe
it isn’t scandalous.”
“It seems very sensible,”
the husband on the left of the hostess said, as if
to keep the other husband in countenance. But
for an interval no one else joined him, and the mature
girl said to the man next her that it seemed rather
cold-blooded. He was a man who had been entreated
to come in, on the frank confession that he was asked
as a stop-gap, the original guest having fallen by
the way. Such men are apt to abuse their magnanimity,
their condescension. They think that being there
out of compassion, and in compliance with a hospitality
that had not at first contemplated their presence,
they can say anything; they are usually asked without
but through their wives, who are asked to “lend”
them, and who lend them with a grudge veiled in eager
acquiescence; and the men think it will afterward
advantage them with their wives, when they find they
are enjoying themselves, if they will go home and
report that they said something vexing or verging on
the offensive to their hostess. This man now
addressed himself to the lady at the head of the table.
“Why do we all talk as if we
thought divorce was an unquestionable evil?”
The hostess looked with a frightened
air to the right and left, and then down the table
to her husband. But no one came to her rescue,
and she asked feebly, as if foreboding trouble (for
she knew she had taken a liberty with this man’s
wife), “Why, don’t we?”
“About one in seven of us doesn’t,”
the stop-gap said.
“Oh!” the girl beside
him cried out, in a horror-stricken voice which seemed
not to interpret her emotion truly. “Is
it so bad as that?”
“Perhaps not quite, even if
it is bad at all,” he returned, and the hostess
smiled gratefully at the girl for drawing his fire.
But it appeared she had not, for he directed his further
speech at the hostess again: really the most
inoffensive person there, and the least able to contend
with adverse opinions.
“No, I don’t believe we
do think it an unquestionable evil, unless we think
marriage is so.” Everybody sat up, as the
stop-gap had intended, no doubt, and he “held
them with his glittering eye,” or as many as
he could sweep with his glance. “I suppose
that the greatest hypocrite at this table, where we
are all so frankly hypocrites together, will not deny
that marriage is the prime cause of divorce. In
fact, divorce couldn’t exist without it.”
The women all looked bewilderedly
at one another, and then appealingly at the men.
None of these answered directly, but the bachelor softly
intoned out of Gilbert and Sullivan he was
of that date:
“’A paradox,
a paradox;
A most ingenious paradox!’”
“Yes,” the stop-gap defiantly
assented. “A paradox; and all aboriginal
verities, all giant truths, are paradoxes.”
“Giant truths is good,”
the bachelor noted, but the stop-gap did not mind
him.
He turned to the host: “I
suppose that if divorce is an evil, and we wish to
extirpate it, we must strike at its root, at marriage?”
The host laughed. “I prefer
not to take the floor. I’m sure we all
want to hear what you have to say in support of your
mammoth idea.”
“Oh yes, indeed,” the
women chorused, but rather tremulously, as not knowing
what might be coming.
“Which do you mean? That
all truth is paradoxical, or that marriage is the
mother of divorce?”
“Whichever you like.”
“The last proposition is self-evident,”
the stop-gap said, supplying himself with a small
bunch of the grapes which nobody ever takes at dinner;
the hostess was going to have coffee for the women
in the drawing-room, and to leave the men to theirs
with their tobacco at the table. “And you
must allow that if divorce is a good thing or a bad
thing, it equally partakes of the nature of its parent.
Or else there’s nothing in heredity.”
“Oh, come!” one of the husbands said.
“Very well!” the stop-gap
submitted. “I yield the word to you.”
But as the other went no further, he continued.
“The case is so clear that it needs no argument.
Up to this time, in dealing with the evil of divorce,
if it is an evil, we have simply been suppressing the
symptoms; and your Swiss method
“Oh, it isn’t mine,” the
man said who had stated it.
“ Is only a part
of the general practice. It is another attempt
to make divorce difficult, when it is marriage that
ought to be made difficult.”
“Some,” the daring bachelor
said, “think it ought to be made impossible.”
The girl across the table began to laugh hysterically,
but caught herself up and tried to look as if she had
not laughed at all.
“I don’t go as far as
that,” the stop-gap resumed, “but as an
inveterate enemy of divorce
An “Oh!” varying from
surprise to derision chorused up; but he did not mind
it; he went on as if uninterrupted.
“I should put every possible
obstacle, and at every step, in the way of marriage.
The attitude of society toward marriage is now simply
preposterous, absolutely grotesque. Society?
The whole human framework in all its manifestations,
social, literary, religious, artistic, and civic,
is perpetually guilty of the greatest mischief in the
matter. Nothing is done to retard or prevent
marriage; everything to accelerate and promote it.
Marriage is universally treated as a virtue which
of itself consecrates the lives of the mostly vulgar
and entirely selfish young creatures who enter into
it. The blind and witless passion in which it
oftenest originates, at least with us, is flattered
out of all semblance to its sister emotions, and revered
as if it were a celestial inspiration, a spiritual
impulse. But is it? I defy any one here
to say that it is.”
As if they were afraid of worse things
if they spoke, the company remained silent. But
this did not save them.
“You all know it isn’t.
You all know that it is the caprice of chance encounter,
the result of propinquity, the invention of poets and
novelists, the superstition of the victims, the unscrupulous
make-believe of the witnesses. As an impulse it
quickly wears itself out in marriage, and makes way
for divorce. In this country nine-tenths of the
marriages are love-matches. The old motives which
delay and prevent marriage in other countries, aristocratic
countries, like questions of rank and descent, even
of money, do not exist. Yet this is the land
of unhappy unions beyond all other lands, the very
home of divorce. The conditions of marriage are
ideally favorable according to the opinions of its
friends, who are all more or less active in bottling
husbands and wives up in its felicity and preventing
their escape through divorce.”
Still the others were silent, and
again the stop-gap triumphed on. “Now,
I am an enemy of divorce, too; but I would have it
begin before marriage.”
“Rather paradoxical again?”
the bachelor alone had the hardihood to suggest.
“Not at all. I am quite
literal. I would have it begin with the engagement.
I would have the betrothed the mistress
and the lover come before the magistrate
or the minister, and declare their motives in wishing
to marry, and then I would have him reason with them,
and represent that they were acting emotionally in
obedience to a passion which must soon spend itself,
or a fancy which they would quickly find illusory.
If they agreed with him, well and good; if not, he
should dismiss them to their homes, for say three months,
to think it over. Then he should summon them
again, and again reason with them, and dismiss them
as before, if they continued obstinate. After
three months more, he should call them before him
and reason with them for the last time. If they
persisted in spite of everything, he should marry
them, and let them take the consequences.”
The stop-gap leaned back in his chair
defiantly, and fixed the host with an eye of challenge.
Upon the whole the host seemed not so much frightened.
He said: “I don’t see anything so
original in all that. It’s merely a travesty
of the Swiss law of divorce.”
“And you see nothing novel,
nothing that makes for the higher civilization in
the application of that law to marriage? You all
approve of that law because you believe it prevents
nine-tenths of the divorces; but if you had a law
that would similarly prevent nine-tenths of the marriages,
you would need no divorce law at all.”
“Oh, I don’t know that,”
the hardy bachelor said. “What about the
one-tenth of the marriages which it didn’t prevent?
Would you have the parties hopelessly shut up to them?
Would you forbid them all hope of escape?
Would you have no divorce for any cause whatever?”
“Yes,” the husband on
the right of the hostess asked (but his wife on the
right of the host looked as if she wished he had not
mixed in), “wouldn’t more unhappiness
result from that one marriage than from all the marriages
as we have them now?”
“Aren’t you both rather
precipitate?” the stop-gap demanded. “I
said, let the parties to the final marriage take the
consequences. But if these consequences were
too dire, I would not forbid them the hope of relief.
I haven’t thought the matter out very clearly
yet, but there are one or two causes for divorce which
I would admit.”
“Ah?” the host inquired, with a provisional
smile.
“Yes, causes going down into
the very nature of things the nature of
men and of women. Incompatibility of temperament
ought always to be very seriously considered as a
cause.”
“Yes?”
“And, above all,” and
here the stop-gap swept the board with his eye, “difference
of sex.”
The sort of laugh which expresses
uncertainty of perception and conditional approval
went up.
The hostess rose with rather a frightened
air. “Shall we leave them to their tobacco?”
she said to the other women.
When he went home the stop-gap celebrated
his triumph to his wife. “I don’t
think she’ll ask you for the loan of me again
to fill a place without you.”
“Yes,” she answered, remotely.
“You don’t suppose she’ll think we
live unhappily together?”