“I love Nunsmere,” said
the Literary Man from London. “It is a spot
where faded lives are laid away in lavender.”
“I’m not a faded life,
and I’m not going to be laid away in lavender,”
retorted Zora Middlemist.
She turned from him and handed cakes
to the Vicar. She had no desire to pet the Vicar,
but he was less unbearable than the Literary Man from
London whom he had brought to call on his parishioners.
Zora disliked to be called a parishioner. She
disliked many things in Nunsmere. Her mother,
Mrs. Oldrieve, however, loved Nunsmere, adored the
Vicar, and found awe-inspiring in his cleverness the
Literary Man from London.
Nunsmere lies hidden among the oaks
of Surrey, far from the busy ways of men. It
is heaven knows how many miles from a highroad.
You have to drive through lanes and climb right over
a hill to get to it. Two old Georgian houses
covered with creepers, a modern Gothic church, two
much more venerable and pious-looking inns, and a
few cottages settling peacefully around a common form
the village. Here and there a cottage lurks up
a lane. These cottages are mostly inhabited by
the gentle classes. Some are really old, with
great oak beams across the low ceilings, and stone-flagged
kitchens furnished with great open fireplaces where
you can sit and get scorched and covered with smoke.
Some are new, built in imitation of the old, by a
mute, inglorious Adam, the village carpenter.
All have long casement windows, front gardens in which
grow stocks and phlox and sunflowers and hollyhocks
and roses; and a red-tiled path leads from the front
gate to the entrance porch. Nunsmere is very quiet
and restful. Should a roisterer cross the common
singing a song at half-past nine at night, all Nunsmere
hears it and is shocked if not frightened
to the extent of bolting doors and windows, lest the
dreadful drunken man should come in.
In a cottage on the common, an old
one added to by the local architect, with a front
garden and a red-tiled path, dwelt Mrs. Oldrieve in
entire happiness, and her daughter in discontent.
And this was through no peevish or disagreeable traits
in Zora’s nature. If we hear Guy Fawkes
was fretful in the Little-Ease, we are not pained
by Guy Fawkes’s lack of Christian resignation.
When the Vicar and the Literary Man
from London had gone, Zora threw open the window and
let the soft autumn air flood the room. Mrs. Oldrieve
drew her woolen shawl around her lean shoulders.
“I’m afraid you quite
snubbed Mr. Rattenden, just when he was saying one
of his cleverest things.”
“He said it to the wrong person,
mother. I’m neither a faded life nor am
I going to be laid away in lavender. Do I look
like it?”
She moved across the room, swiftly,
and stood in the slanting light from the window, offering
herself for inspection. Nothing could be less
like a faded life than the magnificent, broad-hipped,
full-bosomed woman that met her mother’s gaze.
Her hair was auburn, her eyes brown with gold flecks,
her lips red, her cheeks clear and young. She
was cast, physically, in heroic mold, a creature of
dancing blood and color and warmth. Disparaging
tea-parties called her an Amazon. The Vicar’s
wife regarded her as too large and flaring and curvilinear
for reputable good looks. She towered over Nunsmere.
Her presence disturbed the sedateness of the place.
She was a wrong note in its harmony.
Mrs. Oldrieve sighed. She was
small and colorless. Her husband, a wild explorer,
a tornado of a man, had been killed by a buffalo.
She was afraid that Zora took after her father.
Her younger daughter Emmy had also inherited some
of the Oldrieve restlessness and had gone on the stage.
She was playing now in musical comedy in London.
“I don’t see why you should
not be happy here, Zora,” she remarked, “but
if you want to go, you must. I used to say the
same to your poor, dear father.”
“I’ve been very good,
haven’t I?” said Zora. “I’ve
been the model young widow and lived as demurely as
if my heart were breaking with sorrow. But now,
I can’t stand it any longer. I’m going
out to see the world.”
“You’ll soon marry again, dear, and that’s
one comfort.”
Zora brought her hands down passionately to her sides.
“Never. Never do
you hear, mother? Never. I’m going
out into the world, to get to the heart of the life
I’ve never known. I’m going to live.”
“I don’t see how you are
going to ‘live,’ dear, without a man to
take care of you,” said Mrs. Oldrieve, on whom
there occasionally flashed an eternal verity.
“I hate men. I hate the
touch of them the very sight of them.
I’m going to have nothing more to do with them
for the rest of my natural life. My dear mother!”
and her voice broke, “haven’t I had enough
to do with men and marriage?”
“All men aren’t like Edward
Middlemist,” Mrs. Oldrieve argued as she counted
the rows of her knitting.
“How am I to know that?
How could anyone have told that he was what he was?
For heaven’s sake don’t talk of it.
I had almost forgotten it all in this place.”
She shuddered and, turning to the
window, stared into the sunset.
“Lavender has its uses,” said Mrs. Oldrieve.
Here again it must be urged on Zora’s
behalf that she had reason for her misanthropy.
It is not cheerful for a girl to discover within twenty-four
hours of her wedding that her husband is a hopeless
drunkard, and to see him die of delirium tremens within
six weeks. An experience so vivid, like lightning
must blast something in a woman’s conception
of life. Because one man’s kisses reeked
of whisky the kisses of all male humanity were anathema.
After a long spell of silence she
came and laid her cheek against her mother’s.
“This is the very last time
we’ll speak of it, dear. I’ll lock
the skeleton in its cupboard and throw away the key.”
She went upstairs to dress and came
down radiant. At dinner she spoke exultingly
of her approaching freedom. She would tear off
her widow’s weeds and deck herself in the flower
of youth. She would plunge into the great swelling
sea of Life. She would drink sunshine and fill
her soul with laughter. She would do a million
hyperbolic things, the mention of which mightily confused
her mother. “I, my dear,” said the
hen in the fairy tale, “never had the faintest
desire to get into water.” So, more or less,
said Mrs. Oldrieve.
“Will you miss me very dreadfully?” asked
Zora.
“Of course,” but her tone was so lacking
in conviction that Zora laughed.
“Mother, you know very well
that Cousin Jane will be a more sympathetic companion.
You’ve been pining for her all this time.”
Cousin Jane held distinct views on
the cut of under-clothes for the deserving poor, and
as clouds disperse before the sun so did household
dust before her presence. Untidiness followed
in Zora’s steps, as it does in those of the
physically large, and Cousin Jane disapproved of her
thoroughly. But Mrs. Oldrieve often sighed for
Cousin Jane as she had never sighed for Zora, Emily,
or her husband. She was more than content with
the prospect of her companionship.
“At any rate, my dear,”
she said that evening, as she paused, candle in hand,
by her bedroom door, “at any rate I hope you’ll
do nothing that is unbecoming to a gentlewoman.”
Such was her benison.
Zora bumped her head against the oak
beam that ran across her bedroom ceiling.
“It’s quite true,”
she said to herself, “the place is too small
for me, I don’t fit.”
What she was going to do in this wide
world into whose glories she was about to enter she
had but the vaguest notion. All to her was the
Beautiful Unknown. Narrow means had kept her
at Cheltenham and afterwards at Nunsmere, all her
life. She had met her husband in Ipswich while
she was paying a polite visit to some distant cousins.
She had married him offhand, in a whirl of the senses.
He was a handsome blackguard, of independent means,
and she had spent her nightmare of a honeymoon at Brighton.
On three occasions, during her five-and-twenty years
of existence, she had spent a golden week in London.
That was all she knew of the wide world. It was
not very much. Reading had given her a second-hand
acquaintance with the doings of various classes of
mankind, and such pictures as she had seen had filled
her head with dreams of strange and wonderful places.
But otherwise she was ignorant, beautifully, childishly
ignorant and undismayed.
What was she going to do? Sensitive
and responsive to beauty, filled with artistic impulses,
she could neither paint, act, sing, nor write pretty
little stories for the magazines. She had no special
gift to develop. To earn her living in a humdrum
way she had no need. She had no high Ibsenite
notions of working out her own individuality.
She had no consuming passion for reforming any section
of the universe. She had no mission that
she knew of to accomplish. Unlike
so many of her sex who yearn to be as men and go out
into the world she had no inner mandate to do anything,
no ambition to be anything. She was simply a
great, rich flower, struggling through the shade to
the sunlight, plenty of sunlight, as much sunlight
as the heavens could give her.
The Literary Man from London happened
to be returning to town by the train that carried
Zora on the first stage of her pilgrimage. He
obtained her consent to travel up in the same carriage.
He asked her to what branch of human activity she
intended to devote herself. She answered that
she was going to lie, anyhow, among the leaves.
He rebuked her.
“We ought,” said he, “to justify
our existence.”
She drew herself up and flashed an indignant glance
at him.
“I beg your pardon,” he apologized.
“You do justify yours.”
“How?”
“You decorate the world.
I was wrong. That is the true function of a beautiful
woman, and you fulfill it.”
“I have in my bag,” replied
Zora slowly, and looking at him steady-eyed, “a
preventive against sea-sickness; I have a waterproof
to shelter me from rain; but what can I do to shield
myself against silly compliments?”
“Adopt the costume of the ladies
of the Orient,” said the Literary Man from London,
unabashed.
She laughed, although she detested
him. He bent forward with humorous earnestness.
He had written some novels, and now edited a weekly
of precious tendencies and cynical flavor.
“I am a battered old man of
thirty-five,” said he, “and I know what
I am talking about. If you think you are going
to wander at a loose end about Europe without men
paying you compliments and falling in love with you
and making themselves generally delightful, you’re
traveling under a grievous hallucination.”
“What you say,” retorted
Zora, “confirms me in my opinion that men are
an abominable nuisance. Why can’t they
let a poor woman go about in peace?”
The train happened to be waiting at
Clapham Junction. A spruce young man, passing
by on the platform, made a perceptible pause by the
window, his eyes full on her. She turned her
head impatiently. Rattenden laughed.
“Dear lady,” said he,
“I must impart to you the elements of wisdom.
Miss Keziah Skaffles, with brain cordage for hair,
and monoliths for teeth, and a box of dominoes for
a body, can fool about unmolested among the tribes
of Crim Tartary. She doesn’t worry the Tartars.
But, permit me to say it, as you are for the moment
my disciple, a beautiful woman like yourself, radiating
feminine magnetism, worries a man exceedingly.
You don’t let him go about in peace, so why
should he let you?”
“I think,” said Zora,
as the train moved on, “that Miss Keziah Skaffles
is very much to be envied, and that this is a very
horrid conversation.”
She was offended in her provincial-bred
delicacy. It was enough to make her regard herself
with repulsion. She took up the fashion paper
she had bought at the station was she not
intending to run delicious riot among the dressmakers
and milliners of London? and regarding blankly
the ungodly waisted ladies in the illustrations, determined
to wear a wig and paint her face yellow, and black
out one of her front teeth, so that she should not
worry the Tartars.
“I am only warning you against
possible dangers,” said Rattenden stiffly.
He did not like his conversation to be called horrid.
“To the race of men?”
“No, to yourself.”
She laughed scornfully. “No
fear of that. Why does every man think himself
irresistible?”
“Because he generally is if
he wants to be,” said the Literary Man from
London.
Zora caught her breath. “Well of all ”
she began.
“Yes, I know what you’re
going to say. Millions of women have said it and
eaten their words. Why should you beautiful
as you are be an exception to the law of
life? You’re going out to suck the honey
of the world, and men’s hearts will be your
flowers. Instinct will drive you. You won’t
be able to get away from it. You think you’re
going to be thrilled into passionate raptures by cathedrals
and expensive restaurants and the set pieces of fashionable
scenery. You’re not. Your store of
honey will consist of emotional experiences of a primitive
order. If not, I know nothing at all about women.”
“Do you know anything about them?” she
asked sweetly.
“More than would be becoming
of me to tell,” he replied. “Anyhow,”
he added, “that doesn’t matter. I’ve
made my prophecy. You’ll tell me afterwards,
if I have the pleasure of seeing you again, whether
it has come true.”
“It won’t come true,” said Zora.
“We shall see,” said the wise man.
She dashed, that afternoon, into her
sister’s tiny flat in Chelsea. Emily, taken
by surprise, hastily stuffed to the bottom of her work-basket
a man’s silk tie which she was knitting, and
then greeted Zora affectionately.
She was shorter, slimmer, paler than
her sister: of a certain babyish prettiness.
She had Mrs. Oldrieve’s weak mouth and gentle
ways.
“Why, Zora, who would have thought
of seeing you? What are you doing in town?”
“Getting hats and frocks a
trousseau of freedom. I’ve left Nunsmere.
I’m on my own.”
Her eyes sparkled, her cheeks were
flushed. She caught Emily to her bosom.
“Oh, darling! I’m so happy a
bird let out of a cage.”
“An awful big bird,” laughed Emily.
“Yes, let out of an awful small
cage. I’m going to see the world, for the
first time in my life. I’m going to get
out of the cold and wet going South to
Italy Sicily Egypt anywhere.”
“All by yourself?”
“There’ll be Turner.”
“Turner?”
“Ah, you don’t know her.
My new maid. But isn’t it glorious?
Why shouldn’t you come with me, darling?
Do. Come.”
“And throw up my engagement?
I couldn’t. I should love it, but you don’t
know how hard engagements are to get.”
“Never mind. I’ll pay for everything.”
But Emily shook her fluffy head.
She had a good part, a few lines to speak and a bit
of a song to sing in a successful musical comedy.
She looked back on the two years’ price she
had paid for that little bit of a song. It was
dearer to her than anything save one thing in
life.
“I can’t. Besides,
don’t you think a couple of girls fooling about
alone look rather silly? It wouldn’t really
be very funny without a man.”
Zora rose in protest. “The
whole human race is man-mad! Even mother.
I think everybody is detestable!”
The maid announced “Mr. Mordaunt
Prince,” and a handsome man with finely cut,
dark features and black hair parted in the middle and
brushed tightly back over the head, entered the room.
Emmy presented him to Zora, who recognized him as
the leading man at the theater where Emmy was playing.
Zora exchanged a few polite commonplaces with the visitor
and then took her leave. Emmy accompanied her
to the front door of the flat.
“Isn’t he charming?”
“That creature?” asked Zora.
Emmy laughed. “In your
present mood you would find fault with an archangel.
Good-bye, darling, and take care of yourself.”
She bore no malice, having a kind
heart and being foolishly happy. When she returned
to the drawing-room the man took both her hands.
“Well, sweetheart?”
“My sister wanted to carry me off to Italy.”
“What did you say?”
“Guess,” said the girl, lifting starry
eyes.
The man guessed, after the manner
of men, and for a moment Emmy forgot Zora, who went
her own way in pursuit of happiness, heedless of the
wisdom of the wise and of the foolish.