Clem Sypher stood at the front door
of Penton Court a day or two afterwards, awaiting
his guests and taking the air. The leaves of the
oaks that lined the drive fell slowly under the breath
of a southwest wind, and joined their sodden brethren
on the path. The morning mist still hung around
the branches. The sky threatened rain.
A servant came from within the house,
bringing a telegram on a tray. Sypher opened
it, and his strong, pink face became as overcast as
the sky. It was from the London office of the
Cure, and contained the information that one of his
largest buyers had reduced his usual order by half.
The news was depressing. So was the prospect
before him, of dripping trees and of evergreens on
the lawn trying to make the best of it in forlorn bravery.
Heaven had ordained that the earth should be fair and
Sypher’s Cure invincible. Something was
curiously wrong in the execution of Heaven’s
decrees. He looked again at the preposterous statement,
knitting his brow. Surely this was some base
contrivance of the enemy. They had been underselling
and outadvertising him for months, and had ousted him
from the custom of several large firms already.
Something had to be done. As has been remarked
before, Sypher was a man of Napoleonic methods.
He called for a telegraph form, and wrote as he stood,
with the tray as a desk:
“If you can’t buy advertising
rights on St. Paul’s Cathedral or Westminster
Abbey, secure outside pages of usual dailies for Thursday.
Will draw up ‘ad’ myself.”
He gave it to the servant, smiled
in anticipation of the battle, and felt better.
When Zora, Emmy, and Septimus appeared at the turn
of the drive, he rushed to meet them, beaming with
welcome and exuberant in phrase. This was the
best housewarming that could be imagined. Just
three friends to luncheon three live people.
A gathering of pale-souled folk would have converted
the house into a chilly barn. They would warm
it with the glow of friendship. Mrs. Middlemist,
looking like a rose in June, had already irradiated
the wan November garden. Miss Oldrieve he likened
to a spring crocus, and Septimus (with a slap on the
back) could choose the vegetable he would like to
resemble. They must look over the house before
lunch. Afterwards, outside, the great surprise
awaited them. What was it? Ah! He turned
laughing eyes on them, like a boy.
The great London firm to whom he had
entrusted the furniture and decoration had done their
splendid worst. The drawing-room had the appearance
of an hotel sitting-room trying to look coy.
An air of factitious geniality pervaded the dining-room.
An engraving of Frans Hals’s “Laughing
Cavalier” hung with too great a semblance of
jollity over the oak sideboard. Everything was
too new, too ordered, too unindividual; but Sypher
loved it, especially the high-art wall-paper and restless
frieze. Zora, a woman of instinctive taste, who,
if she bought a bedroom water-bottle, managed to identify
it with her own personality, professed her admiration
with a woman’s pitying mendacity, but resolved
to change many things for the good of Clem Sypher’s
soul. Emmy, still pale and preoccupied, said little.
She was not in a mood to appreciate Clem Sypher, whose
loud voice and Napoleonic manners jarred upon her
nerves. Septimus thought it all prodigiously
fine, whereat Emmy waxed sarcastic.
“I wish I could do something
for you,” he said, heedless of her taunts, during
a moment when they were out of earshot of the others.
He had already offered to go to Naples and bring back
Mordaunt Prince, and had received instant orders not
to be a fool. “I wish I could make you laugh
again.”
“I don’t want to laugh,”
she replied impatiently. “I want to sit
on the floor and howl.”
They happened to be in the hall.
At the farther end Septimus caught sight of a fluffy
Persian kitten playing with a bit of paper, and guided
by one of his queer intuitions he went and picked
it up and laid its baby softness against the girl’s
cheek. Her mood changed magically.
“Oh, the darling!” she
cried, and kissed its tiny, wet nose.
She was quite polite to Sypher during
luncheon, and laughed when he told her that he called
the kitten Jebusa Jones. She asked why.
“Because,” said he, showing
his hand covered with scratches, “she produces
on the human epidermis the same effect as his poisonous
cuticle remedy.”
Whereupon Emmy decided that the man
who could let a kitten scratch his hand in that fashion
had elements of good in his nature.
“Now for the surprise,”
said Sypher, when Septimus and he joined the ladies
after lunch. “Come.”
They followed him outside, through
the French windows of the drawing-room. “Other
people,” said he, “want houses with lawns
reaching down to the side of the river or the Menai
Straits or Windermere. I’m the only person,
I think, who has ever sought for a lawn running down
to a main line of railway.”
“That’s why this house was untenanted
so long,” said Zora.
A row of trees separated the small
garden from the lawn in question. When they passed
through this screen, the lawn and the line of railway
and the dreamy, undulating Surrey country came into
view. Also an enormous board. Why hadn’t
he taken it down, Zora asked.
“That’s the surprise!”
exclaimed Sypher eagerly. “Come round to
the front.”
He led the way, striding some yards
ahead. Presently he turned and struck a dramatic
attitude, as a man might do who had built himself a
new wonder house. And then on three astonished
pairs of eyes burst the following inscription in gigantic
capitals which he who flew by in an express train
could read:
SYPHER’S CURE!
Clem Sypher. Friend of
Humanity!
I LIVE HERE!
“Isn’t that great?”
he cried. “I’ve had it in my mind
for years. It’s the personal note that’s
so valuable. This brings the whole passing world
into personal contact with me. It shows that
Sypher’s Cure isn’t a quack thing run
by a commercial company, but the possession of a man
who has a house, who lives in the very house you can
see through the trees. ’What kind of a
man is he?’ they ask. ’He must be
a nice man to live in such a nice house. I almost
feel I know him. I’ll try his Cure.’
Don’t you think it’s a colossal idea?”
He looked questioningly into three
embarrassed faces. Emmy, in spite of her own
preoccupation, suppressed a giggle. There was
a moment’s silence, which was broken by Septimus’s
mild voice:
“I think, by means of levers
running down to the line and worked by the trains
as they passed, I could invent a machine for throwing
little boxes of samples from the board into the railway
carriage windows.”
Emmy burst out laughing. “Come
and show me how you would do it.”
She linked her arm in his and dragged
him down to the line, where she spoke with mirthful
disrespect of Sypher’s Cure. Meanwhile Zora
said nothing to Sypher.
“Don’t you like it?” he asked at
last, disconcerted.
“Do you want me to be the polite
lady you’ve asked to lunch or your friend?”
“My friend and my helper,” said he.
“Then,” she replied, touching
his coat sleeve, “I must say that I don’t
like it. I hate it. I think it’s everything
that is most abominable.”
The board was one pride of his heart,
and Zora was another. He looked at them both
alternately in a piteous, crestfallen way.
“But why?” he asked.
Zora’s eyes filled with tears.
She saw that her lack of appreciation had hurt him
to the heart. She was a generous woman, and did
not convict him, as she would have done another man,
of blatant vulgarity. Yet she felt preposterously
pained. Why could not this great, single-minded
creature, with ideas as high as they were queer, perceive
the board’s rank abomination?
“It’s unworthy of you,”
she said bravely. “I want everyone to respect
you as I do. You see the Cure isn’t everything.
There’s a man behind it.”
“That’s the object of
the board,” said Sypher. “To show
the man.”
“But it doesn’t show the
chivalrous gentleman that I think you are,” she
replied quickly. “It gives the impression
of some one quite different a horrid creature
who would sell his self-respect for money. Oh,
don’t you understand? It’s as bad
as walking through the streets with ‘Sypher’s
Cure’ painted on your hat.”
“What can I do about it?” he asked.
“Take it down at once,” said Zora.
“But to exhibit the board was my sole reason
for buying the place.”
“I’m very sorry,” she said gently,
“but I can’t change my opinion.”
He cast a lingering glance at the
board, and then turned. “Let us go back
to the house,” he said.
They walked a little way in silence.
As they passed by the shrubbery at the side of the
house, he gravely pushed aside a wet, hanging branch
for her to proceed dry. Then he joined her again.
“You are angry with me for speaking so,”
said Zora.
He stopped and looked at her, his
eyes bright and clear. “Do you think I’m
a born fool? Do you think I can’t tell loyalty
when I see it, and am such an ass as not to prize
it above all things? It cost you a lot to say
that to me. You’re right. I suppose
I’ve lost sense of myself in the Cure. When
I think of it, I seem just to be the machine that is
distributing it over the earth. And that, too,
I suppose, is why I want you. The board is an
abomination that cries to heaven. It shall be
instantly removed. There!”
He held out his hand. She gave him hers and he
pressed it warmly.
“Are you going to give up the house now that
it’s useless?” she asked.
“Do you wish me to?”
“What have I to do with it?”
“Zora Middlemist,” said
he, “I’m a superstitious man in some things.
You have everything to do with my success. Sooner
than forfeit your respect I would set fire to every
stick I possessed. I would give up everything
I had in the world except my faith in the Cure.”
“Wouldn’t you give up
that if it were necessary so as to keep
my respect?” she asked, prompted by the insane
devil that lurks in the heart of even the most sainted
of women and does not like its gracious habitat to
be reckoned lower than a quack ointment. It is
the same little devil that makes a young wife ask
her devoted husband which of the two he would save
if she and his mother were drowning. It is the
little devil that is responsible for infinite mendacity
on the part of men. “Have you ever said
that to another woman?” No; of course he hasn’t;
and the wretch is instantly, perjured. “Would
you sell your soul for me?” “My immortal
soul,” says the good fellow, instantaneously
converted into an atrocious liar; and the little devil
coos with satisfaction and curls himself up snugly
to sleep.
But on this occasion the little devil had no success.
“I would give up my faith in
the Cure for nothing in the wide world,” said
Sypher gravely.
“I’m very glad to hear
it,” said Zora, in her frankest tone. But
the little devil asked her whether she was quite sure;
whereupon she hit him smartly over the head and bade
him lie down. Her respect, however, for Sypher
increased.
They were joined by Emmy and Septimus.
“I think I could manage it,”
said the latter, “if I cut a hole a foot square
in the board and fixed a magazine behind it.”
“There will be no necessity,”
returned Sypher. “Mrs. Middlemist has ordered
its immediate removal.”
That was the end of the board episode.
The next day he had it taken down and chopped into
fire-wood, a cart-load of which he sent with his humble
compliments to Mrs. Middlemist. Zora called it
a burnt offering. She found more satisfaction
in the blaze that roared up the chimney than she could
explain to her mother; perhaps more than she could
explain to herself. Septimus had first taught
her the pleasantness of power. But that was nothing
to this. Anybody, even Emmy, curly-headed baby
that she was, could turn poor Septimus into a slave.
For a woman to impose her will upon Clem Sypher, Friend
of Humanity, the Colossus of Curemongers, was no such
trumpery achievement.
Emmy, when she referred to the matter,
expressed the hope that Zora had rubbed it into Clem
Sypher. Zora deprecated the personal bearing of
the slang metaphor, but admitted, somewhat grandly,
that she had pointed out the error in taste.
“I can’t see, though,
why you take all this trouble over Mr. Sypher,”
said Emmy.
“I value his friendship,”
replied Zora, looking up from a letter she was reading.
This was at breakfast. When the
maid had entered with the post Emmy had gripped the
table and watched with hungry eyes, but the only letter
that had come for her had been on theatrical business.
Not the one she longed for. Emmy’s world
was out of joint.
“You’ve changed your opinion,
my dear, as to the value of men,” she sneered.
“There was a time when you didn’t want
to see them or speak to them or have anything to do
with them. Now it seems you can’t get on
without them.”
“My dear Emmy,” said Zora
calmly, “men as possible lovers and men as staunch
friends are two entirely different conceptions.”
Emmy broke a piece of toast viciously.
“I think they’re beasts,” she exclaimed.
“Good heavens! Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know. They are.”
Then, after the quick, frightened
glance of the woman who fears she has said too much,
she broke into a careless half-laugh.
“They are such liars. Fawcett
promised me a part in his new production and writes
to-day to say I can’t have it.”
As Emmy’s professional disappointments
had been many, and as Zora in her heart of hearts
did not entirely approve of her sister’s musical-comedy
career, she tempered her sympathy with philosophic
reflections. She had never taken Emmy seriously.
All her life long Emmy had been the kitten sister,
with a kitten’s pretty but unimportant likes,
dislikes, habits, occupations, and aspirations.
To regard her as being under the shadow of a woman’s
tragedy had never entered her head. The kitten
playing Antigone, Ophelia, or such like distressed
heroines, in awful, grim earnest is not a conception
that readily occurs even to the most affectionate and
imaginative of kitten owners. Zora accepted Emmy’s
explanation of her petulance with a spirit entirely
unperturbed, and resumed the perusal of her letter.
It was from the Callenders, who wrote from California.
Zora must visit them on her way round the world.
She laid down the letter and stirred
her tea absently, her mind full of snow-capped sierras,
and clear blue air, and peach forests, and all the
wonders of that wonderland. And Emmy stirred her
tea, too, in an absent manner, but her mind was filled
with the most terrible thoughts wherewith a woman’s
mind can be haunted.