Anonymous

When I were at home wi’ my fayther an’ mother,
I niver had na fun;
They kept me goin’ frae morn to neet,
so I thowt frae them I’d run.
Leeds Fair were coomin’ on,
an’ I thowt I’d have a spree,
So I put on my Sunday cooat
an’ went right merrily.

First thing I saw were t’ factory,
I niver seed one afore;
There were threads an’ tapes, an’ tapes an’ silks,
to sell by monny a score.
Owd Ned turn’d iv’ry wheel,
an’ iv’ry wheel a strap;
“Begor!” says I to t’ maister-man,
“Owd Ned’s a rare strong chap.”

Next I went to Leeds Owd Church
I were niver i’ one i’ my days,
An’ I were maistly ashamed o’ misel,
for I didn’t knaw their ways;
There were thirty or forty folk,
i’ tubs an’ boxes sat,
When up cooms a saucy owd fellow.
Says he, “Noo, lad, tak off thy hat.”

Then in there cooms a great Lord Mayor,
an’ over his shooders a club,
An’ he gat into a white sack-poke,
an gat into t’ topmost tub.
An’ then there cooms anither chap,
I thinks they call’d him Ned,
An’ he gat into t’ bottommost tub,
an’ mock’d all t’ other chap said.

So they began to preach an’ pray,
they prayed for George, oor King;
When up jumps t’ chap i’ t’ bottommost tub.
Says he, “Good folks, let’s sing.”
I thowt some sang varra weel,
while others did grunt an’ groan,
Ivery man sang what he wad,
so I sang " Darby an Joan."

When preachin’ an’ prayin’ were over,
an’ folks were gangin’ away,
I went to t’ chap i’ t’ topmost tub.
Says I, “Lad, what’s to pay?”
“Why, nowt,” says he, “my lad.”
Begor! I were right fain,
So I click’d hod o’ my gret club stick
an’ went whistlin’ oot again.