Archie’s Essay

‘Mrs Ottley,’ said Miss Townsend,’ do you mind looking at this essay of Archie’s?  I really don’t know what to think of it.  I think it shows talent, except the spelling.  But it’s very naughty of him to have written what is at the end.’

Edith took the paper and read: 

’TRAYS OF CHARACTER

trays of character will always show threw how ever much you may polish it up trays of character will always show threw the grane of the wood.

A burd will keep on singing because he wants to and they can’t help doing what it wants this is instinkt. and it is the same with trays of charicter. having thus shown my theory that trays of carocter will always show threw in spite of all trubble and in any circemstances whatever I will conclude Archibald Bruce Ottley please t.o.’

On the other side of the paper was written very neatly, still in Archie’s writing: 

’3 LINDEN MANSIONS, CADOGAN SQUARE, KNIGHTSBRIDGE. Second Floor

1.  Mr Bruce Ottley (FO) 2.  Mrs Bruce Ottley 3.  Master Archibald Bruce Ottley 4.  Little beast 5.  Mary Johnson housemaid 6.  Miss Thrupp Cook 7.  Marie maid

8.  Dorothy Margaret Miss Townsend governess 9.  Ellen Maud Parrot nurse.’

‘Do you see?’ said Miss Townsend.  ’It’s his way of slyly calling poor Dilly a beast, because he’s angry with her.  Isn’t it a shame?  What shall I do?’ Both of them laughed and enjoyed it.

’Archie, what is the meaning of this?  Why did you make this census of your home?’ Edith asked him gently.

’Why, I didn’t make senses of my home; I just wrote down who lived here.’

Edith looked at him reproachfully.

’Well, I didn’t call Dilly a beast.  I haven’t broken Miss Townsend’s rules.  She made a new rule I wasn’t to call her a beast before breakfast-’

‘What, you’re allowed to call her these awful names after breakfast?’

’No.  She made a rule before breakfast I wasn’t to call Dilly a beast, and I haven’t.  How did you know it meant her anyway?  It might have meant somebody else.’

‘That’s prevaricating; it’s mean-not like you, Archie.’

’Well, I never called her a beast.  No-one can say I did.  And besides, anybody would have called her a beast after how she went on.’

‘What are you angry with the child for?’

’Oh, she bothers so.  The moment I imitate the man with the German accent she begins to cry.  She says she doesn’t like me to do it.  She says she can’t bear me to.  Then she goes and tells Miss Townsend I slapped her, and Miss Townsend blames me.’

’Then you shouldn’t have slapped her; it was horrid of you; you ought to remember she’s a little girl and weaker than you.’

‘I did remember...’

‘Oh, Archie!’

’Well, I’ll make it up if she begs my pardon; not unless she does I sha’n’t,’ said Archie magnanimously.

‘I shall certainly not allow her to do anything of the kind.’

At this moment Dilly came in, with her finger in her tiny mouth, and went up to Archie, drawling with a pout, and in a whining voice: 

‘I didn’t mean to.’

Archie beamed at once.

‘That’s all right, Dilly,’ he said forgivingly.

Then he turned to his mother.

‘Mother, have you got that paper?’

‘Yes, I have indeed!’

’Well, cross out-that, and put in Aspasia Matilda Ottley.  Sorry, Dilly!’ He kissed her, and they ran off together hand in hand; looking like cherubs, and laughing musically.