Clemens was never much inclined to
work, away from his Elmira study. “Magnanimous
Incident Literature” (for the Atlantic) was about
his only completed work of the winter of 1877-78.
He was always tinkering with the “Visit to Heaven,”
and after one reconstruction Howells suggested that
he bring it out as a book, in England, with Dean Stanley’s
indorsement, though this may have been only semi-serious
counsel. The story continued to lie in seclusion.
Clemens had one new book in the field a
small book, but profitable. Dan Slote’s
firm issued for him the Mark Twain Scrap-book, and
at the end of the first royalty period rendered a
statement of twenty-five thousand copies sold, which
was well enough for a book that did not contain a
single word that critics could praise or condemn.
Slote issued another little book for him soon after
Punch, Brothers, Punch! which, besides
that lively sketch, contained the “Random Notes”
and seven other selections.
Mark Twain was tempted to go into
the lecture field that winter, not by any of the offers,
though these were numerous enough, but by the idea
of a combination which he thought night be not only
profitable but pleasant. Thomas Nast had made
a great success of his caricature lectures, and Clemens,
recalling Nast’s long-ago proposal, found it
newly attractive. He wrote characteristically:
My dear Nast, I
did not think I should ever stand on a platform again
until the time was come for me to say, “I die
innocent.” But the same old offers
keep arriving. I have declined them all, just
as usual, though sorely tempted, as usual.
Now, I do not decline because
I mind talking to an audience, but
because (1) traveling alone
is so heartbreakingly dreary, and (2)
shouldering the whole show
is such a cheer-killing responsibility.
Therefore, I now propose to you what
you proposed to me in 1867, ten years ago (when
I was unknown) viz., that you stand on the
platform and make pictures, and I stand by you
and blackguard the audience. I should enormously
enjoy meandering around (to big towns don’t
want to go to the little ones), with you for company.
My idea is not to fatten the
lecture agents and lyceums on the
spoils, but to put all the
ducats religiously into two equal piles,
and say to the artist and
lecturer, “absorb these.”
For instance, [here follows
a plan and a possible list of the cities
to be visited]. The letter
continues:
Call the gross receipts $100,00
for four months and a half, and the
profit from $60,000 to $75,000
(I try to make the figures large
enough, and leave it to the
public to reduce them).
I did not put in Philadelphia because
Pugh owns that town, and last winter, when I made
a little reading-trip, he only paid me $300, and pretended
his concert (I read fifteen minutes in the midst of
a concert) cost him a vast sum, and so he couldn’t
afford any more. I could get up a better
concert with a barrel of cats.
I have imagined two or three
pictures and concocted the accompanying
remarks, to see how the thing
would go. I was charmed.
Well, you think it over, Nast,
and drop me a line. We should have
some fun.
Undoubtedly this would have been a
profitable combination, but Nast had a distaste for
platforming had given it up, as he thought,
for life. So Clemens settled down to the fireside
days, that afforded him always the larger comfort.
The children were at an age “to be entertaining,
and to be entertained.” In either case
they furnished him plenty of diversion when he did
not care to write. They had learned his gift as
a romancer, and with this audience he might be as
extravagant as he liked. They sometimes assisted
by furnishing subjects. They would bring him a
picture, requiring him to invent a story for it without
a moment’s delay. Sometimes they suggested
the names of certain animals or objects, and demanded
that these be made into a fairy tale. If they
heard the name of any new creature or occupation they
were likely to offer them as impromptu inspiration.
Once he was suddenly required to make a story out
of a plumber and a “bawgunstrictor,” but
he was equal to it. On one side of the library,
along the book-shelves that joined the mantelpiece,
were numerous ornaments and pictures. At one
end was the head of a girl, that they called “Emeline,”
and at the other was an oil-painting of a cat.
When other subjects failed, the romancer was obliged
to build a story impromptu, and without preparation,
beginning with the cat, working along through the
bric-a-brac, and ending with “Emeline.”
This was the unvarying program. He was not allowed
to begin with “Emeline” and end with the
cat, and he was not permitted to introduce an ornament
from any other portion of the room. He could
vary the story as much as he liked. In fact,
he was required to do that. The trend of its chapters,
from the cat to “Emeline,” was a well-trodden
and ever-entertaining way.
He gave up his luxurious study to
the children as a sort of nursery and playroom, and
took up his writing-quarters, first in a room over
the stables, then in the billiard-room, which, on
the whole, he preferred to any other place, for it
was a third-story remoteness, and he could knock the
balls about for inspiration.
The billiard-room became his headquarters.
He received his callers there and impressed them into
the game. If they could play, well and good;
if they could not play, so much the better he
could beat them extravagantly, and he took a huge
delight in such conquests. Every Friday evening,
or oftener, a small party of billiard-lovers gathered,
and played until a late hour, told stories, and smoked
till the room was blue, comforting themselves with
hot Scotch and general good-fellowship. Mark
Twain always had a genuine passion for billiards.
He was never tired of the game. He could play
all night. He would stay till the last man gave
out from sheer weariness; then he would go on knocking
the balls about alone. He liked to invent new
games and new rules for old games, often inventing
a rule on the spur of the moment to fit some particular
shot or position on the table. It amused him highly
to do this, to make the rule advantage his own play,
and to pretend a deep indignation when his opponents
disqualified his rulings and rode him down. S.
C. Dunham was among those who belonged to the “Friday
Evening Club,” as they called it, and Henry
C. Robinson, long dead, and rare Ned Bunce, and F.
G. Whitmore; and the old room there at the top of the
house, with its little outside balcony, rang with their
voices and their laughter in that day when life and
the world for them was young. Clemens quoted
to them sometimes:
Come, fill the cup, and in
the fire of spring
Your winter garment of repentance
fling;
The bird of time has but a
little way
To flutter, and the bird is
on the wing.
Omar was new then on this side of
the Atlantic, and to his serene “eat, drink,
and be merry” philosophy, in Fitzgerald’s
rhyme, these were early converts. Mark Twain
had an impressive, musical delivery of verse; the
players were willing at any moment to listen as he
recited:
For some we loved, the loveliest
and best
That from his vintage rolling
time has prest,
Have drunk their cup a round
or two before,
And one by one crept silently
to rest.
Ah, make the most of what
we yet may spend,
Before we too into the dust
descend;
Dust unto dust, and under
dust to lie,
Sans wine, sans song, sans
singer, and sans End.’
[The ‘Rubaiyat’ had made its
first appearance, in Hartford, a little before in
a column of extracts published in the Courant.]
Twichell immediately wrote Clemens a card:
“Read (if you haven’t)
the extracts from Oman Khayyam, on the first page
of this morning’s Courant. I think
we’ll have to get the book. I never yet
came across anything that uttered certain thoughts
of mine so. adequately. And it’s only a
translation. Read it, and we’ll talk it
over. There is something in it very like the passage
of Emerson you read me last night, in fact identical
with it in thought.
“Surely this Omar was a great
poet. Anyhow, he has given me an immense revelation
this morning.
“Hoping that you are better,
J. H. T.”
Twichell’s “only a translation”
has acquired a certain humor with time.