It is imperative that now at once,
while these stupendous events are still clear in my
mind, I should set them down with that exactness of
detail which time may blur. But even as I do
so, I am overwhelmed by the wonder of the fact that
it should be our little group of the “Lost World” Professor
Challenger, Professor Summerlee, Lord John Roxton,
and myself who have passed through this
amazing experience.
When, some years ago, I chronicled
in the Daily Gazette our epoch-making journey in South
America, I little thought that it should ever fall
to my lot to tell an even stranger personal experience,
one which is unique in all human annals and must stand
out in the records of history as a great peak among
the humble foothills which surround it. The event
itself will always be marvellous, but the circumstances
that we four were together at the time of this extraordinary
episode came about in a most natural and, indeed,
inevitable fashion. I will explain the events
which led up to it as shortly and as clearly as I
can, though I am well aware that the fuller the detail
upon such a subject the more welcome it will be to
the reader, for the public curiosity has been and
still is insatiable.
It was upon Friday, the twenty-seventh
of August a date forever memorable in the
history of the world that I went down to
the office of my paper and asked for three days’
leave of absence from Mr. McArdle, who still presided
over our news department. The good old Scotchman
shook his head, scratched his dwindling fringe of
ruddy fluff, and finally put his reluctance into words.
“I was thinking, Mr. Malone,
that we could employ you to advantage these days.
I was thinking there was a story that you are the
only man that could handle as it should be handled.”
“I am sorry for that,”
said I, trying to hide my disappointment. “Of
course if I am needed, there is an end of the matter.
But the engagement was important and intimate.
If I could be spared ”
“Well, I don’t see that you can.”
It was bitter, but I had to put the
best face I could upon it. After all, it was
my own fault, for I should have known by this time
that a journalist has no right to make plans of his
own.
“Then I’ll think no more
of it,” said I with as much cheerfulness as I
could assume at so short a notice. “What
was it that you wanted me to do?”
“Well, it was just to interview
that deevil of a man down at Rotherfield.”
“You don’t mean Professor Challenger?”
I cried.
“Aye, it’s just him that
I do mean. He ran young Alec Simpson of the
Courier a mile down the high road last week by the
collar of his coat and the slack of his breeches.
You’ll have read of it, likely, in the police
report. Our boys would as soon interview a loose
alligator in the zoo. But you could do it, I’m
thinking an old friend like you.”
“Why,” said I, greatly
relieved, “this makes it all easy. It so
happens that it was to visit Professor Challenger
at Rotherfield that I was asking for leave of absence.
The fact is, that it is the anniversary of our main
adventure on the plateau three years ago, and he has
asked our whole party down to his house to see him
and celebrate the occasion.”
“Capital!” cried McArdle,
rubbing his hands and beaming through his glasses.
“Then you will be able to get his opeenions
out of him. In any other man I would say it
was all moonshine, but the fellow has made good once,
and who knows but he may again!”
“Get what out of him?”
I asked. “What has he been doing?”
“Haven’t you seen his
letter on ‘Scientific Possibeelities’ in
to-day’s Times?”
“No.”
McArdle dived down and picked a copy from the floor.
“Read it aloud,” said
he, indicating a column with his finger. “I’d
be glad to hear it again, for I am not sure now that
I have the man’s meaning clear in my head.”
This was the letter which I read to the news editor
of the Gazette:
“Scientific possibilities”
“Sir, I have read
with amusement, not wholly unmixed with some less
complimentary emotion, the complacent and wholly fatuous
letter of James Wilson MacPhail which has lately appeared
in your columns upon the subject of the blurring of
Fraunhofer’s lines in the spectra both of the
planets and of the fixed stars. He dismisses
the matter as of no significance. To a wider
intelligence it may well seem of very great possible
importance so great as to involve the ultimate
welfare of every man, woman, and child upon this planet.
I can hardly hope, by the use of scientific language,
to convey any sense of my meaning to those ineffectual
people who gather their ideas from the columns of a
daily newspaper. I will endeavour, therefore,
to condescend to their limitation and to indicate
the situation by the use of a homely analogy which
will be within the limits of the intelligence of your
readers.”
“Man, he’s a wonder a
living wonder!” said McArdle, shaking his head
reflectively. “He’d put up the feathers
of a sucking-dove and set up a riot in a Quakers’
meeting. No wonder he has made London too hot
for him. It’s a peety, Mr. Malone, for
it’s a grand brain! We’ll let’s
have the analogy.”
“We will suppose,” I read,
“that a small bundle of connected corks was
launched in a sluggish current upon a voyage across
the Atlantic. The corks drift slowly on from
day to day with the same conditions all round them.
If the corks were sentient we could imagine that they
would consider these conditions to be permanent and
assured. But we, with our superior knowledge,
know that many things might happen to surprise the
corks. They might possibly float up against a
ship, or a sleeping whale, or become entangled in
seaweed. In any case, their voyage would probably
end by their being thrown up on the rocky coast of
Labrador. But what could they know of all this
while they drifted so gently day by day in what they
thought was a limitless and homogeneous ocean?
“Your readers will possibly
comprehend that the Atlantic, in this parable, stands
for the mighty ocean of ether through which we drift
and that the bunch of corks represents the little
and obscure planetary system to which we belong.
A third-rate sun, with its rag tag and bobtail of
insignificant satellites, we float under the same daily
conditions towards some unknown end, some squalid catastrophe
which will overwhelm us at the ultimate confines of
space, where we are swept over an etheric Niagara
or dashed upon some unthinkable Labrador. I see
no room here for the shallow and ignorant optimism
of your correspondent, Mr. James Wilson MacPhail,
but many reasons why we should watch with a very close
and interested attention every indication of change
in those cosmic surroundings upon which our own ultimate
fate may depend.”
“Man, he’d have made a
grand meenister,” said McArdle. “It
just booms like an organ. Let’s get doun
to what it is that’s troubling him.”
“The general blurring and shifting
of Fraunhofer’s lines of the spectrum point,
in my opinion, to a widespread cosmic change of a subtle
and singular character. Light from a planet
is the reflected light of the sun. Light from
a star is a self-produced light. But the spectra
both from planets and stars have, in this instance,
all undergone the same change. Is it, then,
a change in those planets and stars? To me such
an idea is inconceivable. What common change
could simultaneously come upon them all? Is
it a change in our own atmosphere? It is possible,
but in the highest degree improbable, since we see
no signs of it around us, and chemical analysis has
failed to reveal it. What, then, is the third
possibility? That it may be a change in the conducting
medium, in that infinitely fine ether which extends
from star to star and pervades the whole universe.
Deep in that ocean we are floating upon a slow current.
Might that current not drift us into belts of ether
which are novel and have properties of which we have
never conceived? There is a change somewhere.
This cosmic disturbance of the spectrum proves it.
It may be a good change. It may be an evil
one. It may be a neutral one. We do not
know. Shallow observers may treat the matter
as one which can be disregarded, but one who like
myself is possessed of the deeper intelligence of
the true philosopher will understand that the possibilities
of the universe are incalculable and that the wisest
man is he who holds himself ready for the unexpected.
To take an obvious example, who would undertake to
say that the mysterious and universal outbreak of
illness, recorded in your columns this very morning
as having broken out among the indigenous races of
Sumatra, has no connection with some cosmic change
to which they may respond more quickly than the more
complex peoples of Europe? I throw out the idea
for what it is worth. To assert it is, in the
present stage, as unprofitable as to deny it, but
it is an unimaginative numskull who is too dense to
perceive that it is well within the bounds of scientific
possibility.
“Yours faithfully,
“George Edward Challenger.
“The Briars, Rotherfield.”
“It’s a fine, steemulating
letter,” said McArdle thoughtfully, fitting a
cigarette into the long glass tube which he used as
a holder. “What’s your opeenion
of it, Mr. Malone?”
I had to confess my total and humiliating
ignorance of the subject at issue. What, for
example, were Fraunhofer’s lines? McArdle
had just been studying the matter with the aid of
our tame scientist at the office, and he picked from
his desk two of those many-coloured spectral bands
which bear a general resemblance to the hat-ribbons
of some young and ambitious cricket club. He
pointed out to me that there were certain black lines
which formed crossbars upon the series of brilliant
colours extending from the red at one end through
gradations of orange, yellow, green, blue, and indigo
to the violet at the other.
“Those dark bands are Fraunhofer’s
lines,” said he. “The colours are
just light itself. Every light, if you can split
it up with a prism, gives the same colours.
They tell us nothing. It is the lines that count,
because they vary according to what it may be that
produces the light. It is these lines that have
been blurred instead of clear this last week, and
all the astronomers have been quarreling over the reason.
Here’s a photograph of the blurred lines for
our issue to-morrow. The public have taken no
interest in the matter up to now, but this letter of
Challenger’s in the Times will make them wake
up, I’m thinking.”
“And this about Sumatra?”
“Well, it’s a long cry
from a blurred line in a spectrum to a sick nigger
in Sumatra. And yet the chiel has shown us once
before that he knows what he’s talking about.
There is some queer illness down yonder, that’s
beyond all doubt, and to-day there’s a cable
just come in from Singapore that the lighthouses are
out of action in the Straits of Sundan, and two ships
on the beach in consequence. Anyhow, it’s
good enough for you to interview Challenger upon.
If you get anything definite, let us have a column
by Monday.”
I was coming out from the news editor’s
room, turning over my new mission in my mind, when
I heard my name called from the waiting-room below.
It was a telegraph-boy with a wire which had been
forwarded from my lodgings at Streatham. The
message was from the very man we had been discussing,
and ran thus:
Malone, 17, Hill Street, Streatham. Bring
oxygen. Challenger.
“Bring oxygen!” The Professor,
as I remembered him, had an elephantine sense of humour
capable of the most clumsy and unwieldly gambollings.
Was this one of those jokes which used to reduce him
to uproarious laughter, when his eyes would disappear
and he was all gaping mouth and wagging beard, supremely
indifferent to the gravity of all around him?
I turned the words over, but could make nothing even
remotely jocose out of them. Then surely it
was a concise order though a very strange
one. He was the last man in the world whose
deliberate command I should care to disobey.
Possibly some chemical experiment was afoot; possibly Well,
it was no business of mine to speculate upon why he
wanted it. I must get it. There was nearly
an hour before I should catch the train at Victoria.
I took a taxi, and having ascertained the address
from the telephone book, I made for the Oxygen Tube
Supply Company in Oxford Street.
As I alighted on the pavement at my
destination, two youths emerged from the door of the
establishment carrying an iron cylinder, which, with
some trouble, they hoisted into a waiting motor-car.
An elderly man was at their heels scolding and directing
in a creaky, sardonic voice. He turned towards
me. There was no mistaking those austere features
and that goatee beard. It was my old cross-grained
companion, Professor Summerlee.
“What!” he cried.
“Don’t tell me that you have had
one of these preposterous telegrams for oxygen?”
I exhibited it.
“Well, well! I have had
one too, and, as you see, very much against the grain,
I have acted upon it. Our good friend is as impossible
as ever. The need for oxygen could not have been
so urgent that he must desert the usual means of supply
and encroach upon the time of those who are really
busier than himself. Why could he not order it
direct?”
I could only suggest that he probably wanted it at
once.
“Or thought he did, which is
quite another matter. But it is superfluous
now for you to purchase any, since I have this considerable
supply.”
“Still, for some reason he seems
to wish that I should bring oxygen too. It will
be safer to do exactly what he tells me.”
Accordingly, in spite of many grumbles
and remonstrances from Summerlee, I ordered an additional
tube, which was placed with the other in his motor-car,
for he had offered me a lift to Victoria.
I turned away to pay off my taxi,
the driver of which was very cantankerous and abusive
over his fare. As I came back to Professor Summerlee,
he was having a furious altercation with the men who
had carried down the oxygen, his little white goat’s
beard jerking with indignation. One of the fellows
called him, I remember, “a silly old bleached
cockatoo,” which so enraged his chauffeur that
he bounded out of his seat to take the part of his
insulted master, and it was all we could do to prevent
a riot in the street.
These little things may seem trivial
to relate, and passed as mere incidents at the time.
It is only now, as I look back, that I see their
relation to the whole story which I have to unfold.
The chauffeur must, as it seemed to
me, have been a novice or else have lost his nerve
in this disturbance, for he drove vilely on the way
to the station. Twice we nearly had collisions
with other equally erratic vehicles, and I remember
remarking to Summerlee that the standard of driving
in London had very much declined. Once we brushed
the very edge of a great crowd which was watching
a fight at the corner of the Mall. The people,
who were much excited, raised cries of anger at the
clumsy driving, and one fellow sprang upon the step
and waved a stick above our heads. I pushed
him off, but we were glad when we had got clear of
them and safe out of the park. These little
events, coming one after the other, left me very jangled
in my nerves, and I could see from my companion’s
petulant manner that his own patience had got to a
low ebb.
But our good humour was restored when
we saw Lord John Roxton waiting for us upon the platform,
his tall, thin figure clad in a yellow tweed shooting-suit.
His keen face, with those unforgettable eyes, so fierce
and yet so humorous, flushed with pleasure at the sight
of us. His ruddy hair was shot with grey, and
the furrows upon his brow had been cut a little deeper
by Time’s chisel, but in all else he was the
Lord John who had been our good comrade in the past.
“Hullo, Herr Professor!
Hullo, young fella!” he shouted as he came
toward us.
He roared with amusement when he saw
the oxygen cylinders upon the porter’s trolly
behind us. “So you’ve got them too!”
he cried. “Mine is in the van. Whatever
can the old dear be after?”
“Have you seen his letter in the Times?”
I asked.
“What was it?”
“Stuff and nonsense!” said Summerlee harshly.
“Well, it’s at the bottom
of this oxygen business, or I am mistaken,”
said I.
“Stuff and nonsense!”
cried Summerlee again with quite unnecessary violence.
We had all got into a first-class smoker, and he had
already lit the short and charred old briar pipe which
seemed to singe the end of his long, aggressive nose.
“Friend Challenger is a clever
man,” said he with great vehemence. “No
one can deny it. It’s a fool that denies
it. Look at his hat. There’s a sixty-ounce
brain inside it a big engine, running smooth,
and turning out clean work. Show me the engine-house
and I’ll tell you the size of the engine.
But he is a born charlatan you’ve
heard me tell him so to his face a born
charlatan, with a kind of dramatic trick of jumping
into the limelight. Things are quiet, so friend
Challenger sees a chance to set the public talking
about him. You don’t imagine that he seriously
believes all this nonsense about a change in the ether
and a danger to the human race? Was ever such
a cock-and-bull story in this life?”
He sat like an old white raven, croaking
and shaking with sardonic laughter.
A wave of anger passed through me
as I listened to Summerlee. It was disgraceful
that he should speak thus of the leader who had been
the source of all our fame and given us such an experience
as no men have ever enjoyed. I had opened my
mouth to utter some hot retort, when Lord John got
before me.
“You had a scrap once before
with old man Challenger,” said he sternly, “and
you were down and out inside ten seconds. It
seems to me, Professor Summerlee, he’s beyond
your class, and the best you can do with him is to
walk wide and leave him alone.”
“Besides,” said I, “he
has been a good friend to every one of us. Whatever
his faults may be, he is as straight as a line, and
I don’t believe he ever speaks evil of his comrades
behind their backs.”
“Well said, young fellah-my-lad,”
said Lord John Roxton. Then, with a kindly smile,
he slapped Professor Summerlee upon his shoulder.
“Come, Herr Professor, we’re not going
to quarrel at this time of day. We’ve
seen too much together. But keep off the grass
when you get near Challenger, for this young fellah
and I have a bit of a weakness for the old dear.”
But Summerlee was in no humour for
compromise. His face was screwed up in rigid
disapproval, and thick curls of angry smoke rolled
up from his pipe.
“As to you, Lord John Roxton,”
he creaked, “your opinion upon a matter of science
is of as much value in my eyes as my views upon a new
type of shot-gun would be in yours. I have my
own judgment, sir, and I use it in my own way.
Because it has misled me once, is that any reason
why I should accept without criticism anything, however
far-fetched, which this man may care to put forward?
Are we to have a Pope of science, with infallible
decrees laid down ex cathedra, and accepted
without question by the poor humble public?
I tell you, sir, that I have a brain of my own and
that I should feel myself to be a snob and a slave
if I did not use it. If it pleases you to believe
this rigmarole about ether and Fraunhofer’s
lines upon the spectrum, do so by all means, but do
not ask one who is older and wiser than yourself to
share in your folly. Is it not evident that
if the ether were affected to the degree which he
maintains, and if it were obnoxious to human health,
the result of it would already be apparent upon ourselves?”
Here he laughed with uproarious triumph over his own
argument. “Yes, sir, we should already
be very far from our normal selves, and instead of
sitting quietly discussing scientific problems in
a railway train we should be showing actual symptoms
of the poison which was working within us. Where
do we see any signs of this poisonous cosmic disturbance?
Answer me that, sir! Answer me that! Come,
come, no evasion! I pin you to an answer!”
I felt more and more angry.
There was something very irritating and aggressive
in Summerlee’s demeanour.
“I think that if you knew more
about the facts you might be less positive in your
opinion,” said I.
Summerlee took his pipe from his mouth
and fixed me with a stony stare.
“Pray what do you mean, sir,
by that somewhat impertinent observation?”
“I mean that when I was leaving
the office the news editor told me that a telegram
had come in confirming the general illness of the Sumatra
natives, and adding that the lights had not been lit
in the Straits of Sunda.”
“Really, there should be some
limits to human folly!” cried Summerlee in a
positive fury. “Is it possible that you
do not realize that ether, if for a moment we adopt
Challenger’s preposterous supposition, is a
universal substance which is the same here as at the
other side of the world? Do you for an instant
suppose that there is an English ether and a Sumatran
ether? Perhaps you imagine that the ether of
Kent is in some way superior to the ether of Surrey,
through which this train is now bearing us.
There really are no bounds to the credulity and ignorance
of the average layman. Is it conceivable that
the ether in Sumatra should be so deadly as to cause
total insensibility at the very time when the ether
here has had no appreciable effect upon us whatever?
Personally, I can truly say that I never felt stronger
in body or better balanced in mind in my life.”
“That may be. I don’t
profess to be a scientific man,” said I, “though
I have heard somewhere that the science of one generation
is usually the fallacy of the next. But it does
not take much common sense to see that, as we seem
to know so little about ether, it might be affected
by some local conditions in various parts of the world
and might show an effect over there which would only
develop later with us.”
“With ‘might’ and
‘may’ you can prove anything,” cried
Summerlee furiously. “Pigs may fly.
Yes, sir, pigs may fly but they
don’t. It is not worth arguing with you.
Challenger has filled you with his nonsense and you
are both incapable of reason. I had as soon lay
arguments before those railway cushions.”
“I must say, Professor Summerlee,
that your manners do not seem to have improved since
I last had the pleasure of meeting you,” said
Lord John severely.
“You lordlings are not accustomed
to hear the truth,” Summerlee answered with
a bitter smile. “It comes as a bit of a
shock, does it not, when someone makes you realize
that your title leaves you none the less a very ignorant
man?”
“Upon my word, sir,” said
Lord John, very stern and rigid, “if you were
a younger man you would not dare to speak to me in
so offensive a fashion.”
Summerlee thrust out his chin, with
its little wagging tuft of goatee beard.
“I would have you know, sir,
that, young or old, there has never been a time in
my life when I was afraid to speak my mind to an ignorant
coxcomb yes, sir, an ignorant coxcomb, if
you had as many titles as slaves could invent and
fools could adopt.”
For a moment Lord John’s eyes
blazed, and then, with a tremendous effort, he mastered
his anger and leaned back in his seat with arms folded
and a bitter smile upon his face. To me all
this was dreadful and deplorable. Like a wave,
the memory of the past swept over me, the good comradeship,
the happy, adventurous days all that we
had suffered and worked for and won. That it
should have come to this to insults and
abuse! Suddenly I was sobbing sobbing
in loud, gulping, uncontrollable sobs which refused
to be concealed. My companions looked at me in
surprise. I covered my face with my hands.
“It’s all right,”
said I. “Only only it is
such a pity!”
“You’re ill, young fellah,
that’s what’s amiss with you,” said
Lord John. “I thought you were queer from
the first.”
“Your habits, sir, have not
mended in these three years,” said Summerlee,
shaking his head. “I also did not fail
to observe your strange manner the moment we met.
You need not waste your sympathy, Lord John.
These tears are purely alcoholic. The man has
been drinking. By the way, Lord John, I called
you a coxcomb just now, which was perhaps unduly severe.
But the word reminds me of a small accomplishment,
trivial but amusing, which I used to possess.
You know me as the austere man of science. Can
you believe that I once had a well-deserved reputation
in several nurseries as a farmyard imitator?
Perhaps I can help you to pass the time in a pleasant
way. Would it amuse you to hear me crow like
a cock?”
“No, sir,” said Lord John,
who was still greatly offended, “it would not
amuse me.”
“My imitation of the clucking
hen who had just laid an egg was also considered rather
above the average. Might I venture?”
“No, sir, no certainly not.”
But in spite of this earnest prohibition,
Professor Summerlee laid down his pipe and for the
rest of our journey he entertained or failed
to entertain us by a succession of bird
and animal cries which seemed so absurd that my tears
were suddenly changed into boisterous laughter, which
must have become quite hysterical as I sat opposite
this grave Professor and saw him or rather
heard him in the character of the uproarious
rooster or the puppy whose tail had been trodden upon.
Once Lord John passed across his newspaper, upon
the margin of which he had written in pencil, “Poor
devil! Mad as a hatter.” No doubt
it was very eccentric, and yet the performance struck
me as extraordinarily clever and amusing.
Whilst this was going on, Lord John
leaned forward and told me some interminable story
about a buffalo and an Indian rajah which seemed to
me to have neither beginning nor end. Professor
Summerlee had just begun to chirrup like a canary,
and Lord John to get to the climax of his story, when
the train drew up at Jarvis Brook, which had been given
us as the station for Rotherfield.
And there was Challenger to meet us.
His appearance was glorious. Not all the turkey-cocks
in creation could match the slow, high-stepping dignity
with which he paraded his own railway station and the
benignant smile of condescending encouragement with
which he regarded everybody around him. If he
had changed in anything since the days of old, it was
that his points had become accentuated. The huge
head and broad sweep of forehead, with its plastered
lock of black hair, seemed even greater than before.
His black beard poured forward in a more impressive
cascade, and his clear grey eyes, with their insolent
and sardonic eyelids, were even more masterful than
of yore.
He gave me the amused hand-shake and
encouraging smile which the head master bestows upon
the small boy, and, having greeted the others and
helped to collect their bags and their cylinders of
oxygen, he stowed us and them away in a large motor-car
which was driven by the same impassive Austin, the
man of few words, whom I had seen in the character
of butler upon the occasion of my first eventful visit
to the Professor. Our journey led us up a winding
hill through beautiful country. I sat in front
with the chauffeur, but behind me my three comrades
seemed to me to be all talking together. Lord
John was still struggling with his buffalo story,
so far as I could make out, while once again I heard,
as of old, the deep rumble of Challenger and the insistent
accents of Summerlee as their brains locked in high
and fierce scientific debate. Suddenly Austin
slanted his mahogany face toward me without taking
his eyes from his steering-wheel.
“I’m under notice,” said he.
“Dear me!” said I.
Everything seemed strange to-day.
Everyone said queer, unexpected things. It
was like a dream.
“It’s forty-seven times,” said Austin
reflectively.
“When do you go?” I asked,
for want of some better observation. “I
don’t go,” said Austin.
The conversation seemed to have ended
there, but presently he came back to it.
“If I was to go, who would look
after ’im?” He jerked his head toward
his master. “Who would ’e get to
serve ’im?”
“Someone else,” I suggested lamely.
“Not ’e. No one
would stay a week. If I was to go, that ’ouse
would run down like a watch with the mainspring out.
I’m telling you because you’re ’is
friend, and you ought to know. If I was to take
’im at ’is word but there,
I wouldn’t have the ’eart. ’E
and the missus would be like two babes left out in
a bundle. I’m just everything. And
then ’e goes and gives me notice.”
“Why would no one stay?” I asked.
“Well, they wouldn’t make
allowances, same as I do. ’E’s a
very clever man, the master so clever that
’e’s clean balmy sometimes. I’ve
seen ’im right off ’is onion, and no error.
Well, look what ’e did this morning.”
“What did he do?”
Austin bent over to me.
“’E bit the ’ousekeeper,”
said he in a hoarse whisper.
“Bit her?”
“Yes, sir. Bit ’er
on the leg. I saw ‘er with my own eyes
startin’ a marathon from the ’all-door.”
“Good gracious!”
“So you’d say, sir, if
you could see some of the goings on. ’E
don’t make friends with the neighbors.
There’s some of them thinks that when ’e
was up among those monsters you wrote about, it was
just ’’Ome, Sweet ‘Ome’ for
the master, and ’e was never in fitter company.
That’s what they say. But I’ve
served ’im ten years, and I’m fond of ’im,
and, mind you, ‘e’s a great man, when
all’s said an’ done, and it’s an
honor to serve ’im. But ’e does
try one cruel at times. Now look at that, sir.
That ain’t what you might call old-fashioned
’ospitality, is it now? Just you read
it for yourself.”
The car on its lowest speed had ground
its way up a steep, curving ascent. At the corner
a notice-board peered over a well-clipped hedge.
As Austin said, it was not difficult to read, for the
words were few and arresting:
“No, it’s not what you
might call ’earty,” said Austin, shaking
his head and glancing up at the deplorable placard.
“It wouldn’t look well in a Christmas
card. I beg your pardon, sir, for I haven’t
spoke as much as this for many a long year, but to-day
my feelings seem to ’ave got the better
of me. ’E can sack me till ’e’s
blue in the face, but I ain’t going, and that’s
flat. I’m ’is man and ’e’s
my master, and so it will be, I expect, to the end
of the chapter.”
We had passed between the white posts
of a gate and up a curving drive, lined with rhododendron
bushes. Beyond stood a low brick house, picked
out with white woodwork, very comfortable and pretty.
Mrs. Challenger, a small, dainty, smiling figure,
stood in the open doorway to welcome us.
“Well, my dear,” said
Challenger, bustling out of the car, “here are
our visitors. It is something new for us to
have visitors, is it not? No love lost between
us and our neighbors, is there? If they could
get rat poison into our baker’s cart, I expect
it would be there.”
“It’s dreadful dreadful!”
cried the lady, between laughter and tears. “George
is always quarreling with everyone. We haven’t
a friend on the countryside.”
“It enables me to concentrate
my attention upon my incomparable wife,” said
Challenger, passing his short, thick arm round her
waist. Picture a gorilla and a gazelle, and
you have the pair of them. “Come, come,
these gentlemen are tired from the journey, and luncheon
should be ready. Has Sarah returned?”
The lady shook her head ruefully,
and the Professor laughed loudly and stroked his beard
in his masterful fashion.
“Austin,” he cried, “when
you have put up the car you will kindly help your
mistress to lay the lunch. Now, gentlemen, will
you please step into my study, for there are one or
two very urgent things which I am anxious to say to
you.”