THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN AT HIS WORST
The breakfast table at Mr Boffin’s
was usually a very pleasant one, and was always presided
over by Bella. As though he began each new day
in his healthy natural character, and some waking
hours were necessary to his relapse into the corrupting
influences of his wealth, the face and the demeanour
of the Golden Dustman were generally unclouded at that
meal. It would have been easy to believe then,
that there was no change in him. It was as the
day went on that the clouds gathered, and the brightness
of the morning became obscured. One might have
said that the shadows of avarice and distrust lengthened
as his own shadow lengthened, and that the night closed
around him gradually.
But, one morning long afterwards to
be remembered, it was black midnight with the Golden
Dustman when he first appeared. His altered character
had never been so grossly marked. His bearing
towards his Secretary was so charged with insolent
distrust and arrogance, that the latter rose and left
the table before breakfast was half done. The
look he directed at the Secretary’s retiring
figure was so cunningly malignant, that Bella would
have sat astounded and indignant, even though he had
not gone the length of secretly threatening Rokesmith
with his clenched fist as he closed the door.
This unlucky morning, of all mornings in the year,
was the morning next after Mr Boffin’s interview
with Mrs Lammle in her little carriage.
Bella looked to Mrs Boffin’s
face for comment on, or explanation of, this stormy
humour in her husband, but none was there. An
anxious and a distressed observation of her own face
was all she could read in it. When they were
left alone together which was not until
noon, for Mr Boffin sat long in his easy-chair, by
turns jogging up and down the breakfast-room, clenching
his fist and muttering Bella, in consternation,
asked her what had happened, what was wrong? ’I
am forbidden to speak to you about it, Bella dear;
I mustn’t tell you,’ was all the answer
she could get. And still, whenever, in her wonder
and dismay, she raised her eyes to Mrs Boffin’s
face, she saw in it the same anxious and distressed
observation of her own.
Oppressed by her sense that trouble
was impending, and lost in speculations why Mrs Boffin
should look at her as if she had any part in it, Bella
found the day long and dreary. It was far on in
the afternoon when, she being in her own room, a servant
brought her a message from Mr Boffin begging her to
come to his.
Mrs Boffin was there, seated on a
sofa, and Mr Boffin was jogging up and down.
On seeing Bella he stopped, beckoned her to him, and
drew her arm through his. ‘Don’t
be alarmed, my dear,’ he said, gently; ’I
am not angry with you. Why you actually tremble!
Don’t be alarmed, Bella my dear. I’ll
see you righted.’
‘See me righted?’ thought
Bella. And then repeated aloud in a tone of astonishment:
‘see me righted, sir?’
‘Ay, ay!’ said Mr Boffin.
’See you righted. Send Mr Rokesmith here,
you sir.’
Bella would have been lost in perplexity
if there had been pause enough; but the servant found
Mr Rokesmith near at hand, and he almost immediately
presented himself.
‘Shut the door, sir!’
said Mr Boffin. ’I have got something to
say to you which I fancy you’ll not be pleased
to hear.’
‘I am sorry to reply, Mr Boffin,’
returned the Secretary, as, having closed the door,
he turned and faced him, ’that I think that very
likely.’
‘What do you mean?’ blustered Mr Boffin.
’I mean that it has become no
novelty to me to hear from your lips what I would
rather not hear.’
‘Oh! Perhaps we shall change
that,’ said Mr Boffin with a threatening roll
of his head.
‘I hope so,’ returned
the Secretary. He was quiet and respectful; but
stood, as Bella thought (and was glad to think), on
his manhood too.
‘Now, sir,’ said Mr Boffin,
’look at this young lady on my arm.
Bella involuntarily raising her eyes,
when this sudden reference was made to herself, met
those of Mr Rokesmith. He was pale and seemed
agitated. Then her eyes passed on to Mrs Boffin’s,
and she met the look again. In a flash it enlightened
her, and she began to understand what she had done.
‘I say to you, sir,’ Mr
Boffin repeated, ’look at this young lady on
my arm.
‘I do so,’ returned the Secretary.
As his glance rested again on Bella
for a moment, she thought there was reproach in it.
But it is possible that the reproach was within herself.
‘How dare you, sir,’ said
Mr Boffin, ’tamper, unknown to me, with this
young lady? How dare you come out of your station,
and your place in my house, to pester this young lady
with your impudent addresses?’
‘I must decline to answer questions,’
said the Secretary, ’that are so offensively
asked.’
‘You decline to answer?’
retorted Mr Boffin. ’You decline to answer,
do you? Then I’ll tell you what it is, Rokesmith;
I’ll answer for you. There are two sides
to this matter, and I’ll take ’em separately.
The first side is, sheer Insolence. That’s
the first side.’
The Secretary smiled with some bitterness,
as though he would have said, ‘So I see and
hear.’
‘It was sheer Insolence in you,
I tell you,’ said Mr Boffin, ’even to
think of this young lady. This young lady was
far above you. This young lady was no match
for you. This young lady was lying in wait
(as she was qualified to do) for money, and you had
no money.’
Bella hung her head and seemed to
shrink a little from Mr Boffin’s protecting
arm.
‘What are you, I should like
to know,’ pursued Mr Boffin, ’that you
were to have the audacity to follow up this young
lady? This young lady was looking about the market
for a good bid; she wasn’t in it to be snapped
up by fellows that had no money to lay out; nothing
to buy with.’
‘Oh, Mr Boffin! Mrs Boffin,
pray say something for me!’ murmured Bella,
disengaging her arm, and covering her face with her
hands.
‘Old lady,’ said Mr Boffin,
anticipating his wife, ’you hold your tongue.
Bella, my dear, don’t you let yourself be put
out. I’ll right you.’
‘But you don’t, you don’t
right me!’ exclaimed Bella, with great emphasis.
‘You wrong me, wrong me!’
‘Don’t you be put out,
my dear,’ complacently retorted Mr Boffin.
’I’ll bring this young man to book.
Now, you Rokesmith! You can’t decline to
hear, you know, as well as to answer. You hear
me tell you that the first side of your conduct was
Insolence Insolence and Presumption.
Answer me one thing, if you can. Didn’t
this young lady tell you so herself?’
‘Did I, Mr Rokesmith?’
asked Bella with her face still covered. ’O
say, Mr Rokesmith! Did I?’
‘Don’t be distressed,
Miss Wilfer; it matters very little now.’
‘Ah! You can’t deny
it, though!’ said Mr Boffin, with a knowing shake
of his head.
‘But I have asked him to forgive
me since,’ cried Bella; ’and I would ask
him to forgive me now again, upon my knees, if it would
spare him!’
Here Mrs Boffin broke out a-crying.
‘Old lady,’ said Mr Boffin,
’stop that noise! Tender-hearted in you,
Miss Bella; but I mean to have it out right through
with this young man, having got him into a corner.
Now, you Rokesmith. I tell you that’s one
side of your conduct Insolence and Presumption.
Now, I’m a-coming to the other, which is much
worse. This was a speculation of yours.’
‘I indignantly deny it.’
’It’s of no use your denying
it; it doesn’t signify a bit whether you deny
it or not; I’ve got a head upon my shoulders,
and it ain’t a baby’s. What!’
said Mr Boffin, gathering himself together in his most
suspicious attitude, and wrinkling his face into a
very map of curves and corners. ’Don’t
I know what grabs are made at a man with money?
If I didn’t keep my eyes open, and my pockets
buttoned, shouldn’t I be brought to the workhouse
before I knew where I was? Wasn’t the experience
of Dancer, and Elwes, and Hopkins, and Blewbury Jones,
and ever so many more of ’em, similar to mine?
Didn’t everybody want to make grabs at what
they’d got, and bring ’em to poverty and
ruin? Weren’t they forced to hide everything
belonging to ’em, for fear it should be snatched
from ’em? Of course they was. I shall
be told next that they didn’t know human natur!’
‘They! Poor creatures,’ murmured
the Secretary.
‘What do you say?’ asked
Mr Boffin, snapping at him. ’However, you
needn’t be at the trouble of repeating it, for
it ain’t worth hearing, and won’t go down
with me. I’m a-going to unfold your
plan, before this young lady; I’m a-going to
show this young lady the second view of you; and nothing
you can say will stave it off. (Now, attend here, Bella,
my dear.) Rokesmith, you’re a needy chap.
You’re a chap that I pick up in the street.
Are you, or ain’t you?’
‘Go on, Mr Boffin; don’t appeal to me.’
‘Not appeal to you,’
retorted Mr Boffin as if he hadn’t done so.
’No, I should hope not! Appealing to you,
would be rather a rum course. As I was saying,
you’re a needy chap that I pick up in the street.
You come and ask me in the street to take you for
a Secretary, and I take you. Very good.’
‘Very bad,’ murmured the Secretary.
‘What do you say?’ asked Mr Boffin, snapping
at him again.
He returned no answer. Mr Boffin,
after eyeing him with a comical look of discomfited
curiosity, was fain to begin afresh.
’This Rokesmith is a needy young
man that I take for my Secretary out of the open street.
This Rokesmith gets acquainted with my affairs, and
gets to know that I mean to settle a sum of money on
this young lady. “Oho!” says this
Rokesmith;’ here Mr Boffin clapped a finger against
his nose, and tapped it several times with a sneaking
air, as embodying Rokesmith confidentially confabulating
with his own nose; ’"This will be a good haul;
I’ll go in for this!” And so this Rokesmith,
greedy and hungering, begins a-creeping on his hands
and knees towards the money. Not so bad a speculation
either: for if this young lady had had less spirit,
or had had less sense, through being at all in the
romantic line, by George he might have worked it out
and made it pay! But fortunately she was too
many for him, and a pretty figure he cuts now he is
exposed. There he stands!’ said Mr Boffin,
addressing Rokesmith himself with ridiculous inconsistency.
‘Look at him!’
‘Your unfortunate suspicions,
Mr Boffin ’ began the Secretary.
‘Precious unfortunate for you,
I can tell you,’ said Mr Boffin.
’ are not to be combated
by any one, and I address myself to no such hopeless
task. But I will say a word upon the truth.’
‘Yah! Much you care about
the truth,’ said Mr Boffin, with a snap of his
fingers.
‘Noddy! My dear love!’ expostulated
his wife.
‘Old lady,’ returned Mr
Boffin, ’you keep still. I say to this Rokesmith
here, much he cares about the truth. I tell him
again, much he cares about the truth.’
‘Our connexion being at an end,
Mr Boffin,’ said the Secretary, ’it can
be of very little moment to me what you say.’
‘Oh! You are knowing enough,’
retorted Mr Boffin, with a sly look, ’to have
found out that our connexion’s at an end, eh?
But you can’t get beforehand with me. Look
at this in my hand. This is your pay, on your
discharge. You can only follow suit. You
can’t deprive me of the lead. Let’s
have no pretending that you discharge yourself.
I discharge you.’
‘So that I go,’ remarked
the Secretary, waving the point aside with his hand,
‘it is all one to me.’
‘Is it?’ said Mr Boffin.
’But it’s two to me, let me tell you.
Allowing a fellow that’s found out, to discharge
himself, is one thing; discharging him for insolence
and presumption, and likewise for designs upon his
master’s money, is another. One and one’s
two; not one. (Old lady, don’t you cut in.
You keep still.)’
‘Have you said all you wish
to say to me?’ demanded the Secretary.
‘I don’t know whether
I have or not,’ answered Mr Boffin. ‘It
depends.’
’Perhaps you will consider whether
there are any other strong expressions that you would
like to bestow upon me?’
‘I’ll consider that,’
said Mr Boffin, obstinately, ’at my convenience,
and not at yours. You want the last word.
It may not be suitable to let you have it.’
‘Noddy! My dear, dear Noddy!
You sound so hard!’ cried poor Mrs Boffin, not
to be quite repressed.
‘Old lady,’ said her husband,
but without harshness, ’if you cut in when requested
not, I’ll get a pillow and carry you out of the
room upon it. What do you want to say, you Rokesmith?’
’To you, Mr Boffin, nothing.
But to Miss Wilfer and to your good kind wife, a word.’
‘Out with it then,’ replied
Mr Boffin, ’and cut it short, for we’ve
had enough of you.’
‘I have borne,’ said the
Secretary, in a low voice, ’with my false position
here, that I might not be separated from Miss Wilfer.
To be near her, has been a recompense to me from day
to day, even for the undeserved treatment I have had
here, and for the degraded aspect in which she has
often seen me. Since Miss Wilfer rejected me,
I have never again urged my suit, to the best of my
belief, with a spoken syllable or a look. But
I have never changed in my devotion to her, except if
she will forgive my saying so that it is
deeper than it was, and better founded.’
‘Now, mark this chap’s
saying Miss Wilfer, when he means L.s.d.!’ cried
Mr Boffin, with a cunning wink. ’Now, mark
this chap’s making Miss Wilfer stand for Pounds,
Shillings, and Pence!’
‘My feeling for Miss Wilfer,’
pursued the Secretary, without deigning to notice
him, ’is not one to be ashamed of. I avow
it. I love her. Let me go where I may when
I presently leave this house, I shall go into a blank
life, leaving her.’
‘Leaving L.s.d. behind me,’
said Mr Boffin, by way of commentary, with another
wink.
‘That I am incapable,’
the Secretary went on, still without heeding him,
’of a mercenary project, or a mercenary thought,
in connexion with Miss Wilfer, is nothing meritorious
in me, because any prize that I could put before my
fancy would sink into insignificance beside her.
If the greatest wealth or the highest rank were hers,
it would only be important in my sight as removing
her still farther from me, and making me more hopeless,
if that could be. Say,’ remarked the Secretary,
looking full at his late master, ’say that with
a word she could strip Mr Boffin of his fortune and
take possession of it, she would be of no greater
worth in my eyes than she is.’
‘What do you think by this time,
old lady,’ asked Mr Boffin, turning to his wife
in a bantering tone, ’about this Rokesmith here,
and his caring for the truth? You needn’t
say what you think, my dear, because I don’t
want you to cut in, but you can think it all the same.
As to taking possession of my property, I warrant
you he wouldn’t do that himself if he could.’
‘No,’ returned the Secretary, with another
full look.
‘Ha, ha, ha!’ laughed
Mr Boffin. ’There’s nothing like a
good ’un while you are about it.’
‘I have been for a moment,’
said the Secretary, turning from him and falling into
his former manner, ’diverted from the little
I have to say. My interest in Miss Wilfer began
when I first saw her; even began when I had only heard
of her. It was, in fact, the cause of my throwing
myself in Mr Boffin’s way, and entering his
service. Miss Wilfer has never known this until
now. I mention it now, only as a corroboration
(though I hope it may be needless) of my being free
from the sordid design attributed to me.’
‘Now, this is a very artful
dog,’ said Mr Boffin, with a deep look.
’This is a longer-headed schemer than I thought
him. See how patiently and methodically he goes
to work. He gets to know about me and my property,
and about this young lady, and her share in poor young
John’s story, and he puts this and that together,
and he says to himself, “I’ll get in with
Boffin, and I’ll get in with this young lady,
and I’ll work ’em both at the same time,
and I’ll bring my pigs to market somewhere.”
I hear him say it, bless you! I look at him, now,
and I see him say it!’
Mr Boffin pointed at the culprit,
as it were in the act, and hugged himself in his great
penetration.
’But luckily he hadn’t
to deal with the people he supposed, Bella, my dear!’
said Mr Boffin. ’No! Luckily he had
to deal with you, and with me, and with Daniel and
Miss Dancer, and with Elwes, and with Vulture Hopkins,
and with Blewbury Jones and all the rest of us, one
down t’other come on. And he’s beat;
that’s what he is; regularly beat. He thought
to squeeze money out of us, and he has done for himself
instead, Bella my dear!’
Bella my dear made no response, gave
no sign of acquiescence. When she had first covered
her face she had sunk upon a chair with her hands
resting on the back of it, and had never moved since.
There was a short silence at this point, and Mrs Boffin
softly rose as if to go to her. But, Mr Boffin
stopped her with a gesture, and she obediently sat
down again and stayed where she was.
‘There’s your pay, Mister
Rokesmith,’ said the Golden Dustman, jerking
the folded scrap of paper he had in his hand, towards
his late Secretary. ’I dare say you can
stoop to pick it up, after what you have stooped to
here.’
‘I have stooped to nothing but
this,’ Rokesmith answered as he took it from
the ground; ’and this is mine, for I have earned
it by the hardest of hard labour.’
‘You’re a pretty quick
packer, I hope,’ said Mr Boffin; ’because
the sooner you are gone, bag and baggage, the better
for all parties.’
‘You need have no fear of my lingering.’
‘There’s just one thing
though,’ said Mr Boffin, ’that I should
like to ask you before we come to a good riddance,
if it was only to show this young lady how conceited
you schemers are, in thinking that nobody finds out
how you contradict yourselves.’
‘Ask me anything you wish to
ask,’ returned Rokesmith, ’but use the
expedition that you recommend.’
‘You pretend to have a mighty
admiration for this young lady?’ said Mr Boffin,
laying his hand protectingly on Bella’s head
without looking down at her.
‘I do not pretend.’
’Oh! Well. You have
a mighty admiration for this young lady since
you are so particular?’
‘Yes.’
’How do you reconcile that,
with this young lady’s being a weak-spirited,
improvident idiot, not knowing what was due to herself,
flinging up her money to the church-weathercocks, and
racing off at a splitting pace for the workhouse?’
‘I don’t understand you.’
’Don’t you? Or won’t
you? What else could you have made this young
lady out to be, if she had listened to such addresses
as yours?’
’What else, if I had been so
happy as to win her affections and possess her heart?’
‘Win her affections,’
retorted Mr Boffin, with ineffable contempt, ’and
possess her heart! Mew says the cat, Quack-quack
says the duck, Bow-wow-wow says the dog! Win
her affections and possess her heart! Mew, Quack-quack,
Bow-wow!’
John Rokesmith stared at him in his
outburst, as if with some faint idea that he had gone
mad.
‘What is due to this young lady,’
said Mr Boffin, ’is Money, and this young lady
right well knows it.’
‘You slander the young lady.’
’You slander the young
lady; you with your affections and hearts and trumpery,’
returned Mr Boffin. ’It’s of a piece
with the rest of your behaviour. I heard of these
doings of yours only last night, or you should have
heard of ’em from me, sooner, take your oath
of it. I heard of ’em from a lady with
as good a headpiece as the best, and she knows this
young lady, and I know this young lady, and we all
three know that it’s Money she makes a stand
for money, money, money and that
you and your affections and hearts are a Lie, sir!’
‘Mrs Boffin,’ said Rokesmith,
quietly turning to her, ’for your delicate and
unvarying kindness I thank you with the warmest gratitude.
Good-bye! Miss Wilfer, good-bye!’
‘And now, my dear,’ said
Mr Boffin, laying his hand on Bella’s head again,
’you may begin to make yourself quite comfortable,
and I hope you feel that you’ve been righted.’
But, Bella was so far from appearing
to feel it, that she shrank from his hand and from
the chair, and, starting up in an incoherent passion
of tears, and stretching out her arms, cried, ’O
Mr Rokesmith, before you go, if you could but make
me poor again! O! Make me poor again, Somebody,
I beg and pray, or my heart will break if this goes
on! Pa, dear, make me poor again and take me
home! I was bad enough there, but I have been
so much worse here. Don’t give me money,
Mr Boffin, I won’t have money. Keep it
away from me, and only let me speak to good little
Pa, and lay my head upon his shoulder, and tell him
all my griefs. Nobody else can understand me,
nobody else can comfort me, nobody else knows how
unworthy I am, and yet can love me like a little child.
I am better with Pa than any one more innocent,
more sorry, more glad!’ So, crying out in a
wild way that she could not bear this, Bella drooped
her head on Mrs Boffin’s ready breast.
John Rokesmith from his place in the
room, and Mr Boffin from his, looked on at her in
silence until she was silent herself. Then Mr
Boffin observed in a soothing and comfortable tone,
’There, my dear, there; you are righted now,
and it’s all right. I don’t wonder,
I’m sure, at your being a little flurried by
having a scene with this fellow, but it’s all
over, my dear, and you’re righted, and it’s and
it’s all right!’ Which Mr Boffin
repeated with a highly satisfied air of completeness
and finality.
‘I hate you!’ cried Bella,
turning suddenly upon him, with a stamp of her little
foot ’at least, I can’t hate
you, but I don’t like you!’
‘HUL lo!’ exclaimed Mr
Boffin in an amazed under-tone.
‘You’re a scolding, unjust,
abusive, aggravating, bad old creature!’ cried
Bella. ’I am angry with my ungrateful self
for calling you names; but you are, you are; you know
you are!’
Mr Boffin stared here, and stared
there, as misdoubting that he must be in some sort
of fit.
‘I have heard you with shame,’
said Bella. ’With shame for myself, and
with shame for you. You ought to be above the
base tale-bearing of a time-serving woman; but you
are above nothing now.’
Mr Boffin, seeming to become convinced
that this was a fit, rolled his eyes and loosened
his neckcloth.
’When I came here, I respected
you and honoured you, and I soon loved you,’
cried Bella. ’And now I can’t bear
the sight of you. At least, I don’t know
that I ought to go so far as that only you’re
a you’re a Monster!’ Having
shot this bolt out with a great expenditure of force,
Bella hysterically laughed and cried together.
‘The best wish I can wish you
is,’ said Bella, returning to the charge, ’that
you had not one single farthing in the world.
If any true friend and well-wisher could make you
a bankrupt, you would be a Duck; but as a man of property
you are a Demon!’
After despatching this second bolt
with a still greater expenditure of force, Bella laughed
and cried still more.
’Mr Rokesmith, pray stay one
moment. Pray hear one word from me before you
go! I am deeply sorry for the reproaches you have
borne on my account. Out of the depths of my
heart I earnestly and truly beg your pardon.’
As she stepped towards him, he met
her. As she gave him her hand, he put it to his
lips, and said, ‘God bless you!’ No laughing
was mixed with Bella’s crying then; her tears
were pure and fervent.
’There is not an ungenerous
word that I have heard addressed to you heard
with scorn and indignation, Mr Rokesmith but
it has wounded me far more than you, for I have deserved
it, and you never have. Mr Rokesmith, it is to
me you owe this perverted account of what passed between
us that night. I parted with the secret, even
while I was angry with myself for doing so. It
was very bad in me, but indeed it was not wicked.
I did it in a moment of conceit and folly one
of my many such moments one of my many
such hours years. As I am punished
for it severely, try to forgive it!’
‘I do with all my soul.’
’Thank you. O thank you!
Don’t part from me till I have said one other
word, to do you justice. The only fault you can
be truly charged with, in having spoken to me as you
did that night with how much delicacy and
how much forbearance no one but I can know or be grateful
to you for is, that you laid yourself open
to be slighted by a worldly shallow girl whose head
was turned, and who was quite unable to rise to the
worth of what you offered her. Mr Rokesmith, that
girl has often seen herself in a pitiful and poor
light since, but never in so pitiful and poor a light
as now, when the mean tone in which she answered you sordid
and vain girl that she was has been echoed
in her ears by Mr Boffin.’
He kissed her hand again.
‘Mr Boffin’s speeches
were detestable to me, shocking to me,’ said
Bella, startling that gentleman with another stamp
of her little foot. ’It is quite true that
there was a time, and very lately, when I deserved
to be so “righted,” Mr Rokesmith; but I
hope that I shall never deserve it again!’
He once more put her hand to his lips,
and then relinquished it, and left the room.
Bella was hurrying back to the chair in which she had
hidden her face so long, when, catching sight of Mrs
Boffin by the way, she stopped at her. ‘He
is gone,’ sobbed Bella indignantly, despairingly,
in fifty ways at once, with her arms round Mrs Boffin’s
neck. ’He has been most shamefully abused,
and most unjustly and most basely driven away, and
I am the cause of it!’
All this time, Mr Boffin had been
rolling his eyes over his loosened neckerchief, as
if his fit were still upon him. Appearing now
to think that he was coming to, he stared straight
before him for a while, tied his neckerchief again,
took several long inspirations, swallowed several
times, and ultimately exclaimed with a deep sigh, as
if he felt himself on the whole better: ‘Well!’
No word, good or bad, did Mrs Boffin
say; but she tenderly took care of Bella, and glanced
at her husband as if for orders. Mr Boffin, without
imparting any, took his seat on a chair over against
them, and there sat leaning forward, with a fixed
countenance, his legs apart, a hand on each knee,
and his elbows squared, until Bella should dry her
eyes and raise her head, which in the fulness of time
she did.
‘I must go home,’ said
Bella, rising hurriedly. ’I am very grateful
to you for all you have done for me, but I can’t
stay here.’
‘My darling girl!’ remonstrated Mrs Boffin.
‘No, I can’t stay here,’
said Bella; ’I can’t indeed. Ugh!
you vicious old thing!’ (This to Mr Boffin.)
‘Don’t be rash, my love,’
urged Mrs Boffin. ‘Think well of what you
do.’
‘Yes, you had better think well,’ said
Mr Boffin.
‘I shall never more think well
of you,’ cried Bella, cutting him short,
with intense defiance in her expressive little eyebrows,
and championship of the late Secretary in every dimple.
’No! Never again! Your money has changed
you to marble. You are a hard-hearted Miser.
You are worse than Dancer, worse than Hopkins, worse
than Blackberry Jones, worse than any of the wretches.
And more!’ proceeded Bella, breaking into tears
again, ’you were wholly undeserving of the Gentleman
you have lost.’
‘Why, you don’t mean to
say, Miss Bella,’ the Golden Dustman slowly
remonstrated, ‘that you set up Rokesmith against
me?’
‘I do!’ said Bella. ‘He is
worth a Million of you.’
Very pretty she looked, though very
angry, as she made herself as tall as she possibly
could (which was not extremely tall), and utterly
renounced her patron with a lofty toss of her rich
brown head.
‘I would rather he thought well
of me,’ said Bella, ’though he swept the
street for bread, than that you did, though you splashed
the mud upon him from the wheels of a chariot of pure
gold. There!’
‘Well I’m sure!’ cried Mr Boffin,
staring.
’And for a long time past, when
you have thought you set yourself above him, I have
only seen you under his feet,’ said Bella ’There!
And throughout I saw in him the master, and I saw
in you the man There! And when you
used him shamefully, I took his part and loved him There!
I boast of it!’
After which strong avowal Bella underwent
reaction, and cried to any extent, with her face on
the back of her chair.
‘Now, look here,’ said
Mr Boffin, as soon as he could find an opening for
breaking the silence and striking in. ’Give
me your attention, Bella. I am not angry.’
‘I am!’ said Bella.
‘I say,’ resumed the Golden
Dustman, ’I am not angry, and I mean kindly
to you, and I want to overlook this. So you’ll
stay where you are, and we’ll agree to say no
more about it.’
‘No, I can’t stay here,’
cried Bella, rising hurriedly again; ’I can’t
think of staying here. I must go home for good.’
‘Now, don’t be silly,’
Mr Boffin reasoned. ’Don’t do what
you can’t undo; don’t do what you’re
sure to be sorry for.’
‘I shall never be sorry for
it,’ said Bella; ’and I should always be
sorry, and should every minute of my life despise myself
if I remained here after what has happened.’
‘At least, Bella,’ argued
Mr Boffin, ’let there be no mistake about it.
Look before you leap, you know. Stay where you
are, and all’s well, and all’s as it was
to be. Go away, and you can never come back.’
‘I know that I can never come
back, and that’s what I mean,’ said Bella.
‘You mustn’t expect,’
Mr Boffin pursued, ’that I’m a-going to
settle money on you, if you leave us like this, because
I am not. No, Bella! Be careful! Not
one brass farthing.’
‘Expect!’ said Bella,
haughtily. ’Do you think that any power
on earth could make me take it, if you did, sir?’
But there was Mrs Boffin to part from,
and, in the full flush of her dignity, the impressible
little soul collapsed again. Down upon her knees
before that good woman, she rocked herself upon her
breast, and cried, and sobbed, and folded her in her
arms with all her might.
‘You’re a dear, a dear,
the best of dears!’ cried Bella. ’You’re
the best of human creatures. I can never be thankful
enough to you, and I can never forget you. If
I should live to be blind and deaf I know I shall
see and hear you, in my fancy, to the last of my dim
old days!’
Mrs Boffin wept most heartily, and
embraced her with all fondness; but said not one single
word except that she was her dear girl. She said
that often enough, to be sure, for she said it over
and over again; but not one word else.
Bella broke from her at length, and
was going weeping out of the room, when in her own
little queer affectionate way, she half relented towards
Mr Boffin.
‘I am very glad,’ sobbed
Bella, ’that I called you names, sir, because
you richly deserved it. But I am very sorry that
I called you names, because you used to be so different.
Say good-bye!’
‘Good-bye,’ said Mr Boffin, shortly.
’If I knew which of your hands
was the least spoilt, I would ask you to let me touch
it,’ said Bella, ’for the last time.
But not because I repent of what I have said to you.
For I don’t. It’s true!’
‘Try the left hand,’ said
Mr Boffin, holding it out in a stolid manner; ‘it’s
the least used.’
‘You have been wonderfully good
and kind to me,’ said Bella, ’and I kiss
it for that. You have been as bad as bad could
be to Mr Rokesmith, and I throw it away for that.
Thank you for myself, and good-bye!’
‘Good-bye,’ said Mr Boffin as before.
Bella caught him round the neck and kissed him, and
ran out for ever.
She ran up-stairs, and sat down on
the floor in her own room, and cried abundantly.
But the day was declining and she had no time to lose.
She opened all the places where she kept her dresses;
selected only those she had brought with her, leaving
all the rest; and made a great misshapen bundle of
them, to be sent for afterwards.
‘I won’t take one of the
others,’ said Bella, tying the knots of the
bundle very tight, in the severity of her resolution.
’I’ll leave all the presents behind, and
begin again entirely on my own account.’
That the resolution might be thoroughly carried into
practice, she even changed the dress she wore, for
that in which she had come to the grand mansion.
Even the bonnet she put on, was the bonnet that had
mounted into the Boffin chariot at Holloway.
‘Now, I am complete,’
said Bella. ’It’s a little trying,
but I have steeped my eyes in cold water, and I won’t
cry any more. You have been a pleasant room to
me, dear room. Adieu! We shall never see
each other again.’
With a parting kiss of her fingers
to it, she softly closed the door and went with a
light foot down the great staircase, pausing and listening
as she went, that she might meet none of the household.
No one chanced to be about, and she got down to the
hall in quiet. The door of the late Secretary’s
room stood open. She peeped in as she passed,
and divined from the emptiness of his table, and the
general appearance of things, that he was already
gone. Softly opening the great hall door, and
softly closing it upon herself, she turned and kissed
it on the outside insensible old combination
of wood and iron that it was! before she
ran away from the house at a swift pace.
‘That was well done!’
panted Bella, slackening in the next street, and subsiding
into a walk. ’If I had left myself any breath
to cry with, I should have cried again. Now poor
dear darling little Pa, you are going to see your
lovely woman unexpectedly.’