There used to be a notion going round
that it would be a good thing for people if they were
more “self-centred.” Perhaps there
was talk of adding a course to the college curriculum,
in addition to that for training the all-competent
“journalist,” for the self-centring of
the young. To apply the term to a man or woman
was considered highly complimentary. The advisers
of this state of mind probably meant to suggest a desirable
equilibrium and mental balance; but the actual effect
of the self-centred training is illustrated by a story
told of Thomas H. Benton, who had been described as
an egotist by some of the newspapers. Meeting
Colonel Frank Blair one day, he said: “Colonel
Blair, I see that the newspapers call me an egotist.
I wish you would tell me frankly, as a friend, if you
think the charge is true.” “It is
a very direct question, Mr. Benton,” replied
Colonel Blair, “but if you want my honest opinion,
I am compelled to say that I think there is some foundation
for the charge.” “Well, sir,”
said Mr. Benton, throwing his head back and his chest
forward, “the difference between me and these
little fellows is that I have an Ego!” Mr.
Benton was an interesting man, and it is a fair consideration
if a certain amount of egotism does not add to the
interest of any character, but at the same time the
self-centred conditions shut a person off from one
of the chief enjoyments to be got out of this world,
namely, a recognition of what is admirable in others
in a toleration of peculiarities. It is odd,
almost amusing, to note how in this country people
of one section apply their local standards to the
judgment of people in other sections, very much as
an Englishman uses his insular yardstick to measure
all the rest of the world. It never seems to
occur to people in one locality that the manners and
speech of those of another may be just as admirable
as their own, and they get a good deal of discomfort
out of their intercourse with strangers by reason
of their inability to adapt themselves to any ways
not their own. It helps greatly to make this
country interesting that nearly every State has its
peculiarities, and that the inhabitants of different
sections differ in manner and speech. But next
to an interesting person in social value, is an agreeable
one, and it would add vastly to the agreeableness
of life if our widely spread provinces were not so
self-centred in their notion that their own way is
the best, to the degree that they criticise any deviation
from it as an eccentricity. It would be a very
nice world in these United States if we could all
devote ourselves to finding out in communities what
is likable rather than what is opposed to our experience;
that is, in trying to adapt ourselves to others rather
than insisting that our own standard should measure
our opinion and our enjoyment of them.
When the Kentuckian describes a man
as a “high-toned gentleman” he means exactly
the same that a Bostonian means when, he says that
a man is a “very good fellow,” only the
men described have a different culture, a different
personal flavor; and it is fortunate that the Kentuckian
is not like the Bostonian, for each has a quality
that makes intercourse with him pleasant. In
the South many people think they have said a severe
thing when they say that a person or manner is thoroughly
Yankee; and many New Englanders intend to express
a considerable lack in what is essential when they
say of men and women that they are very Southern.
When the Yankee is produced he may turn out a cosmopolitan
person of the most interesting and agreeable sort;
and the Southerner may have traits and peculiarities,
growing out of climate and social life unlike the New
England, which are altogether charming. We talked
once with a Western man of considerable age and experience
who had the placid mind that is sometimes, and may
more and more become, the characteristic of those who
live in flat countries of illimitable horizons, who
said that New Yorkers, State and city, all had an
assertive sort of smartness that was very disagreeable
to him. And a lady of New York (a city whose dialect
the novelists are beginning to satirize) was much disturbed
by the flatness of speech prevailing in Chicago, and
thought something should be done in the public schools
to correct the pronunciation of English. There
doubtless should be a common standard of distinct,
rounded, melodious pronunciation, as there is of good
breeding, and it is quite as important to cultivate
the voice in speaking as in singing, but the people
of the United States let themselves be immensely irritated
by local differences and want of toleration of sectional
peculiarities. The truth is that the agreeable
people are pretty evenly distributed over the country,
and one’s enjoyment of them is heightened not
only by their differences of manner, but by the different,
ways in which they look at life, unless he insists
upon applying everywhere the yardstick of his own locality.
If the Boston woman sets her eyeglasses at a critical
angle towards the ‘laisser faire’
flow of social amenity in New Orleans, and the New
Orleans woman seeks out only the prim and conventional
in Boston, each may miss the opportunity to supplement
her life by something wanting and desirable in it,
to be gained by the exercise of more openness of mind
and toleration. To some people Yankee thrift is
disagreeable; to others, Southern shiftlessness is
intolerable. To some travelers the negro of the
South, with his tropical nature, his capacity for picturesque
attitudes, his abundant trust in Providence, is an
element of restfulness; and if the chief object of
life is happiness, the traveler may take a useful
hint from the race whose utmost desire, in a fit climate,
would be fully satisfied by a shirt and a banana-tree.
But to another traveler the dusky, careless race is
a continual affront.
If a person is born with an “Ego,”
and gets the most enjoyment out of the world by trying
to make it revolve about himself, and cannot make-allowances
for differences, we have nothing to say except to express
pity for such a self-centred condition; which shuts
him out of the never-failing pleasure there is in
entering into and understanding with sympathy the
almost infinite variety in American life.