We used to call him Rhubarb, by reason
of his long russet beard, which we imagined trailing
in the prescriptions as he compounded them, imparting
a special potency. He was a little German druggist Deutsche
Apotheker and his real name was Friedrich
Wilhelm Maximilian Schulz.
The village of Kings is tucked away
in Long Island, in the Debatable Land where the generous
boundary of New York City zigzags in a sporting
way just to permit horse racing at Belmont Park.
It is the most rustic corner of the City. To
most New Yorkers it is as remote as Helgoland and
as little known. It has no movie theatre, no news-stand,
no cigar store, no village atheist. The railroad
station, where one hundred and fifty trains a day
do not stop, might well be mistaken for a Buddhist
shrine, so steeped in discreet melancholy is it.
The Fire Department consists of an old hose wagon
first used to extinguish fires kindled by the Republicans
when Rutherford B. Hayes was elected. In the weather-beaten
Kings Lyceum “East Lynne” is still performed
once a year. People who find Quoguc and Cohasset
too exciting, move to Kings to cool off. The
only way one can keep servants out there is by having
the works of Harold Bell Wright in the kitchen for
the cook to read.
Stout-hearted Mr. Schulz came to Kings
long ago. There is quite a little German colony
there. With a delicatessen store on one side of
him and a man who played the flute on the other, he
felt hardly at all expatriated. The public house
on the corner serves excellent Rheingold, and
on winter evenings Friedrich and Minna would sit by
the stove at the back of the drugstore with a jug
of amber on the table and dream of Stuttgart.
It did not take me long to find out
that apothecary Schulz was an educated man. At
the rear of the store hung two diplomas of which he
was very proud. One was a certificate from the
Stuttgart Oberrealschule; the other his
license to practise homicidal pharmacy in the German
Empire, dated 1880. He had read the “Kritik
der reinen Vernunft”, and found it
more interesting than Henry James, he told me.
Julia and I used to drop into his shop of an evening
for a mug of hot chocolate, and always fell into talk.
His Minna, a frail little woman with a shawl round
her shoulders, would come out into the store and talk
to us, too, and their pet dachshund would frolic at
our feet. They were a quaint couple, she so white
and shy and fragile; he ruddy, sturdy, and positive.
It was not till I told him of my years
spent at a German University that he really showed
me the life that lay behind his shopman activity.
We sometimes talked German together, and he took me
into their little sitting room to see his photographs
of home scenes at Stuttgart. It was over thirty
years since he had seen German soil, but still his
eyes would sparkle at the thought. He and Minna,
being childless, dreamed of a return to the Fatherland
as their great end in life.
What an alluring place the little
drugstore was! I was fascinated by the rows and
rows of gleaming bottles labelled with mysterious Latin
abbreviations. There were cases of patent remedies Mexican
Mustang Liniment, Swamp Root, Danderine, Conway’s
Cobalt Pills, Father Finch’s Febrifuge, Spencer’s
Spanish Specific. Soap, talcum, cold cream, marshmallows,
tobacco, jars of rock candy, what a medley of paternostrums!
And old Rhubarb himself, in his enormous baggy trousers infinite
breeches in a little room, as Julia used to say.
I wish I could set him down in all
his rich human flavour. The first impression
he gave was one of cleanness and good humour.
He was always in shirtsleeves, with suspenders forming
an X across his broad back; his shirt was fresh laundered,
his glowing beard served as cravat. He had a
slow, rather ponderous speech, with deep gurgling gutturals
and a decrescendo laugh, slipping farther and farther
down into his larynx. Once, when we got to know
each other fairly well, I ventured some harmless jest
about Barbarossa. He chuckled; then his face grew
grave. “I wish Minna could have the beard,”
he said. “Her chest is not strong.
It would be a fine breast-protector for her. But
me, because I am strong like a horse, I have it all!”
He thumped his chest ruefully with his broad, thick
hand.
Despite his thirty years in America,
good Schulz was still the Deutsche Apotheker
and not at all the American druggist. He had installed
a soda fountain as a concession, but it puzzled him
sorely, and if he was asked for anything more complex
than chocolate ice cream soda he would shake his head
solemnly and say: “That I have not got.”
Motorists sometimes turned off the Jericho turnpike
and stopped at his shop asking for banana splits or
grape juice highballs, or frosted pineapple fizz.
But they had to take chocolate ice cream soda or nothing.
Sometimes in a fit of absent-mindedness he would turn
his taps too hard and the charged water would spout
across the imitation marble counter. He would
wag his beard deprecatingly and mutter a shamefaced
apology, smiling again when the little black dachshund
came trotting to sniff at the spilt soda and rasp
the wet floor with her bright tongue.
At the end of September he shut up
the soda fountain gladly, piling it high with bars
of castile soap or cartons of cod liver oil. Then
Minna entered into her glory as the dispenser of hot
chocolate which seethed and sang in a tall silvery
tank with a blue gas burner underneath. This
she served in thick china mugs with a clot of whipped
cream swimming on top. Julia would buy a box
of the cheese crackers that Schulz kept in stock specially
for her, and give several to the sleek little black
bitch that stood pleading with her quaint turned-out
fore-feet placed on Julia’s slippers. Schulz,
beaming serenely behind a pyramid of “intense
carnation” bottles on his perfume counter, would
chuckle at the antics of his pet. “Ah,
he is a wise little dog!” he would exclaim with
naïve pride. “He knows who is friendly!”
He always called the little dog “he,”
which amused us.
On Sunday afternoon the drugstore
was closed from one to five, and during those hours
Schulz took his weekly walk, accompanied by the dog
which plodded desperately after him on her short legs.
Sometimes we met him swinging along the by-roads,
flourishing a cudgel and humming to himself.
Whenever he saw a motor coming he halted, the little
black dachshund would look up at him, and he would
stoop ponderously down, pick her up and carry her
in his arms until all danger was past.
As the time went on he and I used
to talk a good deal about the war. Minna, pale
and weary, would stand behind her steaming urn, keeping
the shawl tight round her shoulders; Rhubarb and I
would argue without heat upon the latest news from
the war zone. I had no zeal for converting the
old fellow from his views; I understood his sympathies
and respected them. Reports of atrocities troubled
him as much as they did me; but the spine of his contention
was that the German army was unbeatable. He got
out his faded discharge ticket from the Wuertemberger
Landsturm to show the perfect system of the Imperial
military organization. In his desk at the back
of the shop he kept a war map cut from a Sunday supplement
and over this we would argue, Schulz breathing hard
and holding his beard aside in one hand as he bent
over the paper. When other customers came in,
he would put the map away with a twinkle, and the topic
was dropped. But often the glass top of the perfume
counter was requisitioned as a large-scale battleground,
and the pink bottle of rose water set to represent
Von Hindenburg while the green phial of smelling salts
was Joffre or Brussilov. We fought out the battle
of the Marne pretty completely on the perfume counter.
“Warte doch!” he would cry.
“Just wait! You will see! All the
world is against her, but Germany will win!”
Poor Minna was always afraid her husband
and I would quarrel. She knew well how opposite
our sympathies were; she could not understand that
our arguments were wholly lacking in personal animus.
When I told him of the Allies’ growing superiority
in aircraft Rhubarb would retort by showing me clippings
about the German trench fortifications, the “pill
boxes” made of solid cement. I would speak
of the deadly curtain fire of the British; he would
counter with mysterious allusions to Krupp. And
his conclusions were always the same. “Just
wait! Germany will win!” And he would stroke
his beard placidly. “But, Fritz!”
Minna used to cry in a panic, “The gentleman
might think differently!” Rhubarb and I would
grin at each other, I would buy a tin of tobacco,
and we would say good night.
How dear is the plain, unvarnished
human being when one sees him in a true light!
Schulz’s honest, kindly face seemed to me to
typify all that I knew of the finer qualities of the
Germans; the frugal simplicity, the tenderness, the
proud, stiff rectitude. He and I felt for each
other, I think, something of the humorous friendliness
of the men in the opposing trenches. Chance had
cast us on different sides of the matter. But
when I felt tempted to see red, to condemn the Germans
en masse, to chant litanies of hate, I used
to go down to the drugstore for tobacco or a mug of
chocolate. Rhubarb and I would argue it out.
But that was a hard winter for him.
The growing anti-German sentiment in the neighbourhood
reduced his business considerably. Then he was
worried over Minna. Often she did not appear
in the evenings, and he would explain that she had
gone to bed. I was all the more surprised to meet
her one very snowy Sunday afternoon, sloshing along
the road in the liquid mire, the little dog squattering
sadly behind, her small black paws sliding on the
ice-crusted paving. “What on earth are you
doing outdoors on a day like this?” I said.
“Fritz had to go to Brooklyn,
and I thought he would be angry if Lischen didn’t
get her airing.”
“You take my advice and go home
and get into some dry clothes,” I said severely.
Soon after that I had to go away for
three weeks. I was snowbound in Massachusetts
for several days; then I had to go to Montreal on urgent
business. Julia went to the city to visit her
mother while I was away, so we had no news from Kings.
We got back late one Sunday evening.
The plumbing had frozen in our absence; when I lit
the furnace again, pipes began to thaw and for an
hour or so we had a lively time. In the course
of a battle with a pipe and a monkey wrench I sprained
a thumb, and the next morning I stopped at the drugstore
on my way to the train to get some iodine.
Rhubarb was at his prescription counter
weighing a little cone of white powder in his apothecary’s
scales. He looked far from well. There were
great pouches under his eyes; his beard was unkempt;
his waistcoat spotted with food stains. The lady
waiting received her package, and went out. Rhubarb
and I grasped hands.
“Well,” I said, “what
do you think now about the war? Did you see that
the Canadians took a mile of trenches five hundred
yards deep last week? Do you still think Germany
will win?” To my surprise he turned on his heel
and began apparently rummaging along a row of glass
jars. His gaze seemed to be fastened upon a tall
bottle containing ethyl alcohol. At last he turned
round. His broad, naïve face was quivering like
blanc-mange.
“What do I care who wins?”
he said. “What does it matter to me any
more? Minna is dead. She died two weeks
ago of pneumonia.”
As I stood, not knowing what to say,
there was a patter along the floor. The little
dachshund came scampering into the shop and frisked
about my feet.