Hubert Brett could never quite escape
from business; he analysed himself too much.
His action sprung from impulse, education, ancestry,
whatever source philosophers may choose to say, but
it was followed by a sequel due to his own introspection.
He tended in this way to set up something like a
chain a sequence of states which might almost
be expected after any given act.
He might have owned, found in a candid
vein, that selfishness was his besetting fault.
It had been so this would be his excuse,
if he indeed admitted what certainly he knew it
had been so from birth; at any rate since he recalled
himself an only son and younger than his only sister,
pampered and indulged so far as even a small child
could wish. He always had got what he
wanted. Hence naturally sprang a sort of self-centredom,
a tendency to think first of what he desired,
something which, well, hang it all, no, it wasn’t
selfishness, but merely that self-confidence which
all men who meant to get things done must first of
all possess....
None the less, every now and then
(he noticed it more, since Helena had been with him),
he did, he knew, do things no doubt quite justifiable
if one were thinking only of success, efficiency, and
so forth; but rather beastly from the other person’s from
Helena’s standpoint. It was
so easy, when defending your own interests (and otherwise
you’d get no work done ever), to be thoughtless,
irritable, mean.
About those lectures or whatever they
were of the poor little girl’s, for instance....
Ought he, came the doubt when he was
back in his own den at one minute past five o’clock ought
he to have given in to her for once, if she was really
so immensely keen to take him? After all there
often were days when he had finished work easily by
six o’clock; whole months, even, between books,
when he did no work after tea; but there was such
a thing as System, and though a married man, he was
quite bachelor enough to love this time of solitude
with pipe and books. Helena was sweet; no man
could ever have been luckier about his wife; but he
saw her for much more than one-half the day and all
of it on Sundays.
Yes really, he could not see that
she had any right to look for more. Perhaps those
City men took their wives to these precious causeries,
but they were ever so much more away. Oh yes,
he saw a lot of her and however much she might complain,
he knew that she was really lucky....
All the same, as he never had and
the dear child wanted it, perhaps?
Whereat Hubert, having worked comfortably
around his usual circle Selfishness, Remorse,
Ample Self-Excuse, and Noble Expiation got
up, feeling very light of heart, and went back to the
drawing-room.
Helena was startled. She never
thought of tragedies, she had known none in her well-sheltered
days, or she might easily have feared that there was
something wrong. Never in these two years and
more had he come back, once gone, till dinner-time.
Many modern wives might have resented such a sudden
entry. Luckily this specimen was in no more
compromising a position than that of eating the last
jam sandwich, a thing she never could resist before
Lily came and took away the tea. She waved it
at him without shame.
“Hullo!” she said. “Why what’s
brought you back?”
He smiled indulgently. He liked her to be young.
“Look here, Helena,” he
said, “I’ve been feeling I was a bit of
a brute about those causeries of yours.
I could easily spare an evening some day, if you’d
like me to. Let’s see the list and then
we’ll fix on one.”
Many modern wives, again, might have
been tiresome about an amende honourable indeed but
so obviously planned. Not Helena, however.
She leapt to get the circular, all thrilled excitement
and babbling gratitude.
Hubert ran a proud finger down the
list. “Hullo,” he said in unflattering
surprise. “They’ve got some quite
good men.”
He had always utterly ignored her
ventures in self-education. He did not, for
one thing, approve of them; and he had vaguely thought
they were connected with the parish church, Pleasant
Sunday Evenings, and everything like that.
“I’m so glad you’re
pleased,” she put in, quite without irony.
“That’s the one we’ll
do together,” he said, and read out “’January
29: Art as a Religion. G. K. Shaw.’
And only ten days off, too!”
It was the best, far, on the list;
he would perhaps be called on, as a local author,
to make some remarks; and he might meet the lecturer....
“Oh, but how splendid!”
she cried, duly grateful. “Just the very
one I wanted you to come to. You really are
a dear! And that’s a late one too, at
eight o’clock, because the lecturer objected,
so your old work won’t suffer after all!”
She talked of it for days to come,
what great fun it would be, till Hubert felt even
more guilty. He had never realised how much she
felt the fact of his not coming. He had not
ever heard, you see, dear Mrs. Boyd say: “What!
No husband again? I don’t think you keep
him in at all good order; does she, Kenneth?” as
one who should say, “You have no power over
him, at all!” He did not guess how lonely she
had felt sometimes when Geoffrey Alison could not
escort her. Still he saw her great keenness
now and told himself he would have gone to these lectures
before if only he had known they were not
University Extension.
He was distinctly flattered by the
way she harped upon this small concession. Little
things like that had a curious power of making Hubert
Brett well satisfied with life.
She could see that afresh, six mornings later.
He was opening his letters, a process
which made breakfast quite a nervous time for her,
because one small reverse no more than an
unflattering review upset him so and sometimes
ruined his whole morning’s work, which meant
he would be silent and depressed at lunch-time.
To-day, however, having opened first
the only letter in an unknown hand as promising the
most adventure, he said with real exhilaration:
“Ah, that’s encouraging. That bucks
one up!”
“What, good news, Hugh dear?” she inquired,
delighted.
“Yes, the Kit Kat Club has asked me as its guest
of honour.”
Inwardly she was a little disappointed;
she had hoped it would be some money.
“How excellent!” she said,
good wife; and then, “What is the Kit
Kat Club?”
“Why, it’s a well-known
literary club,” he answered, slightly hurt.
“They meet” he read the card
again “at Lewisham.”
“Capital!” she said:
not because she had ever heard of Lewisham as a great
literary centre, but because he was so terrifically
pleased. “And when is it to be?”
“Very short notice,” he
said, looking once more at the invitation. “This
very Tuesday, January 29th. Lucky we never dine
out!”
“But Hugh,” she began,
oh so disappointed, and then stopped. She had
told every one well, Mrs. Boyd that
she was bringing Hugh this time....
He understood. “Why, it’s
the lecture or debate,” he said. “I
am sorry.” There clearly was no
question which should go. Then, much more gently,
remembering her keenness: “Never mind, little
girl: we’ll find another nice debate.
Let’s see the list and we will pick one now.”
Treats, of course, are seldom a success
the second time. Helena, now, did not dash for
the list. In fact Hubert, looking up, saw that
great tears were rolling down her cheeks.
She could have killed herself for
shame. It only proved how difficult it was to
be grown up, if you began too late!
And Hubert was not even touched by
it. The silly action had no sanction in success.
He got up angrily, without a word,
but making it clear that he had thought her selfish.
He sat on the armchair and took up the Spectator.
This announced that breakfast was now over.
Helena felt that his rebuke was thoroughly
deserved. What must he think of her, when they
took place each week and he had offered to come to
another? Of course he didn’t know about
that rude pig, Mrs. Boyd!
“Hugh dear,” she said,
also getting up, “I am so sorry; I feel such
a beast. It’s only I was disappointed.
Of course my meeting’s simply nothing.
I ought to have been glad about the Kit Kats, and
I am.”
Some men, after that, would possibly
have changed their minds and taken her to her dear
meeting; but to Hubert nothing came before success.
“That’s a dear unselfish
little wife,” he answered soothingly and gave
her a forgiving kiss. The episode was closed.
“You’re sure it is the
twenty-ninth of this month?” she therefore angered
him by asking. Helena could not believe in Fate
being so brutal.
“Well, there’s the card,” he answered
brusquely.
She took it up, filled with an abrupt,
unchristian desire to tear it into fragments.
It had a silly black cat in silhouette upon it and
she had thought he would come at last....
“Why Klub with a K?” she did allow
herself to ask.
“Just a literary conceit, I
suppose,” he answered, trying to control his
voice; and that silenced her, because she had no theories
as to what a literary conceit might be.
But Hubert could not quite allow the
matter to rest there. He felt that she was thinking
he had acted selfishly and he must prove to her that
everything would be all right. What odd disguises
can Remorse assume!
“You can get Alison to take
you,” he threw out. “He’s sure
to be going.”
“Oh no,” answered Helena.
“I told him you were coming. He’ll
be booked. No, I shan’t go at all.”
Face Mrs. Boyd exultant? No,
not she. Afterwards, if needed, some excuse.
But anyhow not that! She had said she was bringing
Hubert.
“That’s silly, my dear.”
He did not often call her that. “Alison
will take you gladly, I know, or if not you can go
alone. You often have before.”
“Yes,” she retorted, “but
not when I’ve told every one that you were taking
me. I have a little pride.”
He shut his paper and got up.
He never could bear scenes.
“Just as you like,” he
said, trying to speak evenly. “It’s
your concern. I was only thinking of your comfort.
Whatever you do won’t hurt me.”
A man can escape everything except
himself; and so it chanced that Hubert Brett felt
a brute twice, repented twice, about one causerie.
He felt it most acutely in his little room.
He very nearly went back to her now,
a second time, and said so; but then he remembered
what a nasty scene it had been, about nothing.
Of course in the old anti-marriage days it had been
his pet theory that every wedded pair inevitably by
force of Nature, which meant every one to dwell apart ended
in continued rows; but it had seemed so quite impossible
with Helena. Perhaps it always did!...
So sweet and pliable and ignorant
of life she had been yes, this was a new
Helena and more like the old Ruth!
No, he would not go back.
He would be hanged if he encouraged her.