"Forgive us each his daily sins,
If few or many, great or small; And those
that sin against us, Lord, Good Lord! Forgive
them all.
"Judge us not as we others judge;
Condemn us not as we condemn; They who are
merciless to us, Be merciful to them.
"And if the cruel storm should pass,
And let Thy heaven of peace appear, Make not
our right the right-or might, But make
the right shine clear."
“Well, the least I can say of
it is that it is very extraordinary!”
“What is extraordinary?”
asked Miss Grey, looking up placidly from her knitting,
which did not get on very fast now. For Aunt
Maria was exceedingly busy and exceedingly happy.
If ever her brother or his wife had the least qualms
of conscience about her removal from the Lodge to
Avonside, they would have been dispelled by the sight
of the dear little fat woman trotting about, the picture
of content, full of housekeeping plans, and schemes
for her poultry-yard, her pigeon-house, and her green-house.
As for her garden, it was a source of perpetual pride,
wonder, and delight. The three years which she
had spent at the Lodge-which, in her secret
heart, she owned were rather dull and trying years-were
ended.
She herself, and, indeed, the whole
establishment, resumed again exactly the place they
had filled in the lifetime of the first Mrs. Grey.
Avonside became once more a regular aunts’ house-devoted
to children, who now, at the distance of a mile and
a half, thought nothing so delightful as to spend
long days there, and be petted by Aunt Maria.
The sudden revolution had succeeded-as
honest revolutions usually do. when any one has the
courage to attempt them-to break through
a false domestic position, and supply it with a true
one. Even Miss Gascoigne was the happier for
it; less worried in her mind, having no feeling of
domestic responsibility, and being no longer haunted
by the children. The poor little souls! she could
get on well enough with them for an hour or two at
Avonside, but they had been a sore affliction to her
at the Lodge. Any woman who can not wholly set
aside self is sure to be tormented by, and be a still
worse torment to, children.
No; much as she pitied herself, and
condoled with Aunt Maria every hour in the day, Aunt
Henrietta was a great deal better in every way since
she came to Avonside-less cross, less ill-natured;
even her perpetual mill-stream of talk flowed on without
such violent outbreaks of wrath against the whole
as had embittered the atmosphere of the Lodge.
Now, though her answer was sharp, it was not so sharp
as it might have been-would certainly have
been-a few weeks before.
“Maria, I don’t think
you ever do listen to me when I’m talking.
I am afraid all I say goes in at one ear and out
at the other,” which was not impossible, perhaps
not unfortunate otherwise, since Miss Gascoigne talked
pretty nearly all day long, Miss Grey’s whole
life might have been spent in listening. She
replied, with a meek smile, “Oh no, dear Henrietta!”
“Then you surely would have
made some observation on what I have been telling
you-this very extraordinary thing which
Miss Smiles told me last night at the Lodge, while
Mrs. Grey was singing-as I forewarned you,
Mrs. Grey sings every where now-and her
husband lets her do it-likes it, too-he
actually told me it was a pleasure to him that his
wife should make herself agreeable to other people.
They mean to give tea-parties once a week to the
undergraduates at Saint Bede’s, because she
says the master ought to be like a father over them,
invite them and make his house pleasant to them.
Such a thing was never heard of in our days.”
“No; but I dare say dear Arnold
knows best. And what about Miss Smiles?”
“I’ve told you twenty
times already, Maria, how Miss Smiles said that Mrs.
Brereton said-you know Mrs. Brereton, who
has so many children, and never can keep a governess
long-that her new governess, who happens
to be Miss Susan Bennett, whom, you may remember, I
once got for Letitia-told her a long story
about Mrs. Grey and Sir Edwin Uniacke-how
he was an old acquaintance of hers before she was
married.”
“Of Christian’s?
She never said so. Oh no! it can’t be,
or she would have said so.”
“Don’t be too sure of
that,” said Aunt Henrietta, mysteriously.
“Besides, she dislikes him.
You know, Henrietta, that when he called here last
week, and she happened to be with us, she put on her
bonnet and went home immediately, without seeing him!”
“And a very rude thing, too,
on her part. Any visitors whom I choose to invite
to my house-”
“But he invited himself.”
“No matter, he came, and I certainly
had no reason to turn him out. I consider Dr.
Grey’s objections to him perfectly ridiculous.
Why, one meets the young man every where, in the
very best society, and his manners are charming.
But that is not the question. The question is
just this: Was he, or was he not, an acquaintance
of Mrs. Grey’s before her marriage? and if he
were, why did she not say so?”
“Perhaps she did.”
“Not to me; when he called at
the Lodge and I introduced them, they bowed as if
they were just ordinary strangers. Now that was
a rather odd thing, and a very disrespectful thing
to myself, not to tell me they had met before, I certainly
have a right to be displeased. Don’t you
feel it so, Maria?”
Whether she did or not, Maria only
answered with her usual deprecatory smile.
“There is another curious circumstance,
now I recall it. Sir Edwin showed great surprise,
which, indeed, I could scarcely wonder at, when I
told him-(I forget how it happened, but
I know I was somehow obliged to tell him)-who
it was your brother had married-Miss Oakley,
the organist’s daughter.”
“Don’t you think,”
said Aunt Maria, with a sudden sparkle of intelligence,
“it might have been her father he was acquainted
with? Sir Edwin is so very musical himself that
it is not unlikely he should seek the company of musicians.
As for Christian “-simple as she
was, Aunt Maria had not lived fifty years in the world,
and twenty with Miss Gascoigne, without some small
acuteness-“I can see, of course, how
very bad it would have been for poor Christian to have
any acquaintance among young gownsmen, and especially
with a person like Sir Edwin Uniacke.”
“He is no worse than his neighbors,
and I beg you will make no remarks upon him,”
said Miss Gascoigne, with dignity. “As
to Mrs. Grey-”
“Perhaps,” again suggested
Aunt Maria, appealingly, “perhaps it isn’t
true. People do say such untrue things.
Mrs. Brereton may have imagined it all.”
“It was no imagination.
Haven’t I told you that Miss Bennett gave the
whole story, with full particulars, exactly as she
had learned it lately from the servant at the farm
where Mr. Oakley and his daughter once lodged and
where Mr. Uniacke used to come regularly? Not
one day did he miss during a whole month. Now,
Maria, I should be sorry to think ill of her for your
brother’s sake but you must allow, when a young
person in her station receives constant visits from
young gentlemen-gentlemen so much above
her as Sir Edwin is-it looks very like-”
“Oh, Henrietta,” cried
Miss Grey, the womanly feeling within her forcing
its way, even through her placid non-resistance, “do
stop! you surely don’t consider what you are
saying?”
“I am not in the habit of speaking
without consideration, and I am, I assure you, perfectly
aware of what I am saying. I say again, that
such conduct was not creditable to Miss Oakley.
Of course, one could not expect from a person like
her the same decorum that was natural to you and me
in our girlhood. I do not believe you and William
ever so much as looked at one another before you were
engaged.”
A faint light, half tearful, half
tender, gleamed in those poor, faded blue eyes.
“Never mind that now Henrietta. Consider
Christian. It will be a terrible thing if any
ill-natured stories go about concerning poor dear
Christian.”
“It will, and therefore I am
determined, for your brother’s sake, to sift
the story to the very bottom. In fact, I think-to
end all doubt-I shall put the direct question
myself to Sir Edwin Uniacke.”
Speak of the-But it would
not be fair to quote the familiar proverb against
the young man who appeared that instant standing at
the wicket-gate.
“Well, I never knew such a coincidence,”
cried Miss Grey.
“Such a providence rather,”
cried Miss Gascoigne. And perhaps, in her strange
obliquity of vision, or, rather, in that sad preponderance
of self which darkened all her vision, like a moral
cataract in the eye of her soul, this woman did actually
think Providence was leading her toward a solemn duty
in the investigating of the past history of the forlorn
girl whom Dr. Grey had taken as his wife.
“Speak of an angel and you see
his wings,” said she, with exceeding politeness.
“We were just talking about you, Sir Edwin.”
“Thank you; and for your charming
parody on the old proverb likewise, I hope I am not
the angel of darkness anyhow.”
He did not look it-this
graceful, handsome young man, gifted with that peculiar
sort of beauty which you see in Goethe’s face,
in Byron’s, indicating what may be called the
Greek temperament-the nature of the old
Attic race-sensuous, not sensual; pleasure-loving,
passionate, and changeable; not intentionally vicious,
but reveling in a sort of glorious enjoyment, intellectual
and corporeal, to which every thing else is sacrificed-in
short, the heathen as opposed to the Christian type
of manhood-a type, the fascination of which
lasts as long as the body lasts, and the intellect;
when these both fail, and there is left to the man
only that something which we call the soul, the immortal
essence, one with Divinity, and satisfied with nothing
less than the divine-alas for him!
A keen observer, who had lived twenty
years longer in the world than he, might, regarding
him in all his beauty and youth, feel a sentiment
not unlike compassion for Edwin Uniacke.
He sat down, making himself quite
at home, though this was only his second visit to
Avonside Cottage. But Miss Gascoigne, if only
from love of opposition, had made it pretty clear
to him that he was welcome there, and that she liked
him. He enjoyed being liked, and had the easy
confidence of one who is well used to it.
“Yes, I am ready to avouch,
this is the prettiest little paradise within miles
of Avonsbridge. No wonder you should have plenty
of visitors, I met a tribe coming here-your
sister-in-law (charming person is Mrs. Grey!) your
nephews and niece, and that gipsy-looking, rather
handsome nurse, who is a little like the head of Clytie,
only for her sullen, underlying mouth and projecting
chin.”
“How you notice faces, Sir Edwin!”
“Of course. I am a little bit of an artist.”
“And a great piece of a musician,
as I understand. Which reminds me,” added
Miss Gascoigne, eager to plunge into her mission, which,
in her strange delusion, she earnestly believed was
a worthy and righteous one, in which she had embarked
for the family benefit-“I wanted to
ask whether you did not know Mrs. Grey’s father,
the organist? And herself too, when she was
Miss Oakley?”
“Every body knew Mr. Oakley,”
was the evasive answer. “He was a remarkable
man-quite a genius, with all the faults
of a genius. He drank, he ate opium, he-”
“Nay, he is dead,” faintly said Aunt Maria.
“Which, you mean, is a good
reason why I should speak no more about him.
I obey you, Miss Grey.”
“But his daughter? Did
you say you knew his daughter?” pursued Miss
Gascoigne.
“Oh yes, casually. A charming
girl she was! very pretty, though immature.
Those large, fair women sometimes do not look their
best until near thirty. And she had a glorious
voice. She and I used to sing duets-together
continually.”
He might not have thought what he
was doing-it is but charity to suppose
so; that he spoke only after his usual careless and
somewhat presumptuous style of speaking about all
women, but he must have been struck by the horrified
expression of Miss Gascoigne’s face.
“Sing duets together! a young
man in your position, and a young woman in hers!
Without a mother, too!”
“Oh, her father was generally
present, if you think of propriety. But I do
assure you, Miss Gascoigne, there was not the slightest
want of propriety. She was a very pretty girl,
and I was a young fellow, rather soft, perhaps, and
so we had a-well, you might call it a trifling
flirtation. But nothing of any consequence-nothing.
I do assure you.”
“Of course it was of no consequence,”
said Aunt Maria, again breaking in with a desperate
courage. And still more desperate were the nods
and winks with which she at last aroused even Aunt
Henrietta to a sense of the position into which the
conversation was bringing them both, so that she,
too, had the good feeling to add,
“Certainly it is not of the
slightest consequence. Dr. Grey is probably
aware of it all?”
“Which may be the reason I am
never invited to the Lodge,” laughed the young
man, so pleasantly that one would hardly have paused
to consider what he laughed at or what it implied.
“By-the-by, I hear they had such a pleasant
gathering there last night-a musical evening,
where every body sang a great deal, and Mrs. Grey
only once, but then, of course, divinely. I
should like to hear her again. But look, there
are the children. Shall I take the liberty of
unfastening for them the latch of your garden gate?”
He sprang out of the low window, and
came back heading the small battalion of visitors-Phillis,
Arthur, Letitia, and Oliver. But Mrs. Grey was
not there. She had come half way, and returned
home alone.
“Well, I must say that is very
odd, considering I invited her to spend the day, and,
I think, rather disrespectful of me-to us
both, Maria.”
“She might have been tired after
the party last night,” put in Aunt Maria.
“No, she wasn’t tired,
for she never told me so.” said Arthur.
“She told me to say-not you, Phillis,
mother always trusts me with her messages-
that she had gone back on account of papa’s wanting
her, and that if he came to fetch us, she would come
here with him in the evening.”
“Very devoted! ‘An
old man’s darling and a young man’s slave,’
runs the proverb; but Mrs. Grey seems to reverse it.
She will soon never stir out an inch without your
brother, Maria.”
“And I am sure my brother never
looks so happy as when she is beside him,” said
Aunt Maria. “We shall quite enjoy seeing
them both together to-night.”
“And I only wish it had been
my good fortune to join such a pleasant family party,”
observed Sir Edwin Uniacke.
It was rather too broad a hint, presuming
even upon Miss Gascoigne’s large courtesy.
In dignified silence she passed it over, sending the
children and Phillis away to their early dinner, and
after an interval of that lively conversation, in
which, under no circumstances, did Sir Edwin ever
fail, allowing him also to depart.
As he went down the garden, Miss Grey,
with great dismay, watched him stop at her beautiful
jessamine bower, pull half a dozen of the white stars,
smell at them, and throw them away. He would
have done the same-perhaps had done it-with
far diviner things than jessamine flowers.
“Yes,” said Miss Gascoigne,
looking after him, and then sitting down opposite
Miss Grey, spreading out her wide silk skirts, and
preparing herself solemnly for a wordy war-that
is, if it could be called a war which was all on one
side-“yes, I have come to the bottom
of it all. I knew I should. Nothing ever
escapes me. And pray, Maria, what do you think
of her now.”
“Think of whom?”
“You are so dull when you won’t
hear. Of your sister-in-law, Christian Grey.”
Poor Aunt Maria looked up with a helpless
pretense of ignorance. “What about her.
Henrietta, dear?”
“Pshaw! You know as well
as I do, only you are so obtuse, or so meek,”
(A mercy she was, or she would never have lived a week,
not to say twenty years, with Henrietta Gascoigne.)
“Once for all, tell me what you propose doing?”
“Doing? I?”
“Yes, you. Can’t
you see, my dear Maria, that it is your business to
inform your brother what you have discovered concerning
his wife?”
“Discovered?”
“Certainly; it is a discovery,
since she has never told it-never told her
husband that before her marriage she had been in the
habit of singing duets (love-songs, no doubt, most
improper for any young woman) with a young gentleman
of Sir Edwin’s birth and position, who, of course,
never thought of marrying her-(your brother,
I do believe, is the only man in Avonsbridge who would
have so committed himself)- and who, by
the light way he speaks of her, evidently shows how
little respect he had for her.”
“Perhaps,” mildly suggested
Aunt Maria, “perhaps she really has told dear
Arnold.”
“Then why did he not tell us-tell
me? Why did he place me in the very awkward
position of not knowing of this previous acquaintance
of his wife’s? Why, in that very unpleasant
conversation we had one day at the Lodge, was I the
only person to be kept in ignorance of his reasons-
and very good reasons I now see they were-for
forbidding Sir Edwin’s visits? Singing
duets together! Who knows but that they may meet
and sing them still? That new piano! and we turned
out of the house directly afterward-literally
turned out! But perhaps that was the very reason
she did it-that she might meet him the more
freely. Oh, Maria! your poor deluded brother!”
It is strange the way some women have-men
too, but especially women-of rolling and
rolling their small snowball of wrath until it grows
to an actual mountain, which has had dragged into it
all sorts of heterogeneous wrongs, and has grown harder
and blacker day by day, till no sun of loving-kindness
will ever thaw it more. In vain did poor Maria
ejaculate her pathetic “Oh, Henrietta!”
and try, in her feeble way, to put in a kindly word
or two; nothing availed. Miss Gascoigne had
lashed herself up into believing firmly every thing
she had imagined and it was with an honest expression
of real grief and pain that she repeated over and
over again, “What ought we to do? Your
poor, dear brother!”
For, with all her faults, Miss Gascoigne
was a conscientious woman; one who, so far as she
saw her duty, tried to fulfill it, and as strongly,
perhaps a little more so, insisted on other people’s
fulfilling theirs. She stood aghast at the picture,
her own self-painted picture, of the kind brother-in-law,
of whom in her heart she was really fond, married to
a false, wicked woman, more than twenty years his
junior, who mocked at his age and peculiarities, and
flirted behind his back with any body and every body.
To do Aunt Henrietta justice, however, of more than
flirtation she did not suspect-no person
with common sense and ordinary observation could suspect-Christian
Grey.
“I must speak to her myself,
poor thing! I must open her eyes to the danger
she is running. Only consider, Maria, if that
story did go about Avonsbridge, she would never be
thought well of in society again. I must speak
to her. If she will only confide in me implicitly,
so that I can take her part, and assure every body
I meet that, however bad appearances may be as regards
this unlucky story, there is really no-thing in it-nothing
at all-don’t you see, Maria?”
Alas! Maria had been so long
accustomed to look at every thing through the vision
of dear Henrietta, that she had no clear sight of her
own whatever. She only found courage to say,
in a feeble way,
“Take care, oh, do take care!
I know you are much cleverer than I am, and can manage
things far better; but oh please take care?”
And when, some hours after, Dr. and
Mrs. Grey not appearing, she was called into Miss
Gascoigne’s room, where that lady stood tying
her bonnet-strings with a determined air, and expressing
her intention of going at once to the Lodge, however
inconvenient, still, all that Aunt Maria ventured
to plead was that melancholy warning, generally unheeded
by those who delight in playing with hot coals and
edged tools, as Aunt Henrietta had done all her life,
“Take care!”
In her walk to the Lodge, through
the still, sweet autumn evening, with a fairy-like
wreath of mist rising up above the low-lying meadows
of the Avon, and climbing slowly up to the college
towers, and the far-off sunset clouds, whose beauty
she never noticed, Miss Gascoigne condescended to
some passing conversation with Phillis, and elicited
from her, without betraying any thing, as she thought,
a good deal- namely, that Sir Edwin Uniacke
was often seen walking up and down the avenue facing
the Lodge, and that once or twice he had met and spoken
to the children.
“But Mrs. Grey doesn’t
like it, I think she wants to drop his acquaintance,”
said the sharp Phillis, who was gaining quite as much
information as she bestowed.
“Why, did they ever-did
she ever”-and then some lingering
spark of womanly feeling, womanly prudence, made Miss
Gascoigne hesitate, and add with dignity. “Yes,
very likely Mrs. Grey may not choose his acquaintance.
He is not approved of by every body.”
“I know that.” said Phillis, meaningly.
The two women, the lady and the servant,
exchanged looks. Both were acute persons, and
the judgment either passed on the other was keen and
accurate. Probably neither judged herself, or
recognized the true root of her judgment upon the
third person, unfortunate Christian. “She
has interfered with my management, and stolen the hearts
of my children;” “she has annoyed me
and resisted my authority?” would never have
been given by either nurse or aunt as a reason for
either their feelings or their actions; yet so it
was.
Nevertheless, when in the hall of
the Lodge they came suddenly face to face with Mrs.
Grey, entering, hat in hand, from the door of the private
garden, the only place where she ever walked alone
now, they both started as if they had been detected
in something wrong. She looked so quiet and
gentle, grave and sweet, modest as a girl and dignified
as a young matron-so perfectly unconscious
of all that was being said or planned against her,
that if these two malicious women had a conscience-and
they had, both of them-they must have felt
it smite them now.
“Miss Gascoigne, how kind of
you to walk home with the children! Papa and
I would have come, but he was obliged to dine in Hall.
He will soon be free now, and will walk back with
you. Pray come in and rest; you look tired.”
Mrs. Grey’s words and manner,
so perfectly guileless and natural, for the moment
quite confounded her enemy-her enemy, and
yet an honest enemy. Of the number of cruel
things that are done in this world, how many are done
absolutely for conscience sake by people who deceive
themselves that they are acting from the noblest, purest
motives- carrying out all the Christian
virtues, in short, only they do so, not in themselves,
but against other people. And from their list
of commandments they obliterate one-“Judge
not, that ye be not judged condemn not, and ye shall
not be condemned.”
But, for the time being, Miss Gascoigne
was puzzled. Her stern reproof, her patronizing
pity, were alike disarmed. Her mountain seemed
crumbling to its original mole-hill. The heap
of accusing evidence which she had accumulated dwindled
into the most ordinary and commonplace facts at sight
of Christian’s innocent face and placid mien.
Nothing could be more unlike a woman who had ever
contemplated the ordinary “flirting” of
society. As for any thing worse, the idea was
impossible to be entertained for a moment. It
was simply ridiculous.
Aunt Henrietta sat a good while talking,
quite mildly for her, of ordinary topics, before she
attempted to broach the real object of her visit.
It was only as the hour neared for Dr. Grey’s
coming in that she nerved herself to her mission.
She had an uneasy sense that it would be carried
out better in his absence than in his presence.
Without glancing often at Christian,
who sat so peaceful, looking out into the fading twilight,
she launched her thunderbolt at once.
“We had a visit today from Sir Edwin Uniacke.”
“So I supposed, since I and
the children met him on the way to Avonside.”
In this world, so full of shams, bow
utterly bewildering sometimes is the direct innocent
truth! At this answer of Christian’s Miss
Gascoigne looked more amazed than if she had been
told a dozen lies.
“Was that the reason you turned back and went
home?”
“Partly; I really had forgotten
something which Dr. Grey wanted, but I also wished
to avoid meeting your visitor.”
“Why so?”
“Surely you must guess.
How can I voluntarily meet any one who is not a friend
of my husband’s?”
“Not though he may have been
a friend of your own? For, as I understand,
you once had a very close acquaintance with Sir Edwin
Uniacke.”
The thrust was so unexpected, unmistakable
in its meaning, that Christian, in her startled surprise,
said the very worst thing she could have said to the
malicious ears which were held open to every thing
and eager to misconstrue every thing, “Who told
you that?”
“Told me! Why all Avonsbridge
is talking about it, and about you.”
This was a lie-a little
white lie; one of those small exaggerations of which
people make no account; but Christian believed it,
and it seemed to wrap her round as with a cold mist
of fear. All Avonsbridge talking of her-her,
Dr. Grey’s wife, who had his honor as well as
her own in her keeping-talking about herself
and Sir Edwin Uniacke! What? how much? how had
the tale come about? how could it be met?
With a sudden instinct of self-preservation,
she forcibly summoned back her composure. She
knew with whom she had to deal. She must guard
every look, every word.
“Will you tell me. Miss
Gascoigne, exactly who is talking about me, and what
they say? I am sure I have never given occasion
for it.”
“Never? Are you quite certain of that?”
“Quite certain. Who said
I had ’a very close acquaintance’-were
not these your words-with Sir Edwin Uniacke?”
“Himself.”
“Himself!”
Then Christian recognized the whole
amount of her difficulty-nay, her danger;
for she was in the power, not of a gentleman, but of
a villain. Any man must have been such who, under
the circumstances, could have boasted of their former
acquaintance, or even referred to it at all.
“Kiss and tell?” runs
the disdainful proverb. And even the worldliest
of men, in their low code of honor, count the thing
base and ignoble. Alas! all women do not.
In the strangely mistaken code of
feminine “honorable-ness,” it is deemed
no disgrace for a woman to chatter and boast of a man’s
love, but the utmost disgrace for her to own or feel
on her side any love at all. But Christian was
unlike her sex in some things. To her, with her
creed of love, it would have appeared far less mean,
less cowardly, less dishonorable, openly to confess,
“I loved this man,” than to betray “This
man loved me.” And it was with almost contemptuous
indignation that she repeated, “What! he told
it himself?”
“He did. I first heard
it through Miss Bennett, your protégée, who
has come back, and is now a governess at Mrs. Brereton’s.
But when I questioned Sir Edwin himself, he did not
deny it.”
“You questioned him?”
“Certainly. I felt it
to be my duty. He says that he knew you in your
father’s lifetime; that he was intimate with
you both: that you and he used to sing duets
together; in short, that-”
“Go on. I wish to hear it all.”
“That is all. And I am sure, Mrs. Grey,
it is enough.”
“It is enough. And he
has been saying this, and you have been listening
to it, perhaps repeating it to all Avonsbridge.
What a wicked woman you must be!”
The words were said, not fiercely
or resentfully, but in a sort of meditative, passive
despair. A sense of the wickedness, the cruelty
there was in the world, the hopelessness of struggling
against it, of disentangling fact from falsehood,
of silencing malice and disarming envy, came upon
Christian in a fit of bitterness uncontrollable.
She felt as if she could cry out, like David, “The
waters have overwhelmed me, the deep waters have gone
over my soul.”
Even if she were not blameless-who
is blameless in this mortal Life?- even
if she had made a mistake-a great mistake-her
punishment was sharp. Just now, when happiness
was dawning upon her, when the remorse for her hasty
marriage and lack of love toward her husband had died
away, when her heart was beginning to leap at the sound
of his step, and her whole soul to sun itself in the
tender light of his loving eyes, it was very, very
hard!
“Well, Mrs. Grey, and what have you to say for
yourself?”
Christian looked up instinctively-lifted
her passive hands, and folded them on her lap, but
answered nothing.
“You must see,” continued
Miss Gascoigne, “what an exceedingly unpleasant
story it is, and how necessary it was for me to speak
about it. Such a matter easily might become
the whole town’s talk. An acquaintance
before your marriage, which you kept so scrupulously
concealed that your nearest connections-I
myself even-had not the slightest idea
of it. You must perceive, Mrs. Grey, what conclusions
people will draw-indeed, can not help drawing.
Not that I believe-I assure you I don’t-one
word against you. Only confide in me, and I
will make the matter clear to all Avonsbridge.
You hear me?”
“Yes”
“And now, my dear”-the
energy of her protection making Aunt Henrietta actually
affectionate-“do speak out.
Tell me all you have to say for yourself.”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? What do you mean?”
It may seem an odd thing to assert,
and a more difficult thing still to prove, but Miss
Gascoigne was not at heart a bad woman. She had
a fierce temper and an enormous egotism, yet these
two qualities, in the strangely composite characters
that one meets with in life, are not incompatible
with many good qualities.
Pain, most sincere and undisguised,
not unmingled with actual pity, was visible in Miss
Gascoigne’s countenance as she looked on the
young creature before her, to whom her words had caused
such violent emotion. For this emotion her narrow
nature-always so ready to look on human
nature in its worst side, and to suspect wherever suspicion
could alight-found but one interpretation-guilt.
She drew back, terrified at what her
interference had done. What if the story should
prove to be, not mere idle gossip, but actual scandal-the
sort of scandal which would cast a slur forever on
the whole Grey family, herself included?
There, above all, the fear struck
home. Suppose she had meddled in a matter which
no lady could touch without indecorum, perhaps actual
defilement? Suppose, in answer to her entreaty,
Christian should confide to her something which no
lady ought to hear? What a fearful position
for her-Miss Gascoigne-to be
placed in! What should she say to Dr. Grey?
Hard as her heart might be, this thought
touched the one soft place in it. Her voice actually
trembled as she said,
“Your poor husband! what would become of him?”
Christian sprang up with a shrill
cry. “Yes, yes I know what I will do, I
will go and tell my husband.” Miss Gascoigne
thought she was mad. And, indeed, there was something
almost frenzied in the way her victim rushed from
the room, like a creature driven desperate by misery.
Aunt Henrietta did not know how to
act. To follow Christian was quite beneath her
dignity; to go home, with her mission unfulfilled,
her duty undone, that too was impossible. She
determined to wait a few minutes, and let things take
their chance.
Miss Gascoigne was not a bad woman,
only an utterly mistaken and misguided one.
She meant no harm-very few people do deliberately
mean harm-they only do it. She had
set herself against her brother-in-law’s marriage-not
in the abstract, she was scarcely so wicked and foolish
as that; but against his marrying this particular woman,
partly because Christian was only a governess, with
somewhat painful antecedents-one who could
neither bring money, rank, nor position to Dr. Grey
and his family, but chiefly because it had wounded
her self-love that she, Miss Gascoigne, had not been
consulted, and had had no hand in bringing about the
marriage.
Therefore she had determined to see
it, and all concerning it, in the very worst light
to modify nothing, to excuse nothing. She had
made up her mind that things were to be so and so,
and so and so they must of necessity turn out. Audi
alteram partem was an idea that never occurred,
never had occurred, in all her life to Henrietta Gascoigne.
In fact, she would never have believed there could
be “another side,” since she herself was
not able to behold it.
Yet she had not a cruel nature, and
the misery she endured during the few minutes that
she sat thinking of the blow that was about to fall
on Dr. Grey and his family, heaping on the picture
every exaggerated imagination of a mind always prone
to paint things in violent colors, was enough to atone
for half the wrong she had done.
She started up like a guilty creature
when the door opened, and Phillis entered with a letter
in her hand.
“Beg pardon, ma’am, I thought you were
Mrs. Grey.”
“She is just gone up stairs-will
be back directly,” said Miss Gascoigne, anxious
to keep up appearances to the last available moment.
“Is that letter for her? Shall I give
it to her?”
“No, thank you, I’ll give
it myself; and it’ll be the last that ever I
will give, for it isn’t my business,”
added Phillis, flustered and indignant, so much so
that she dropped the letter on the floor.
By the light of the small taper there
was a mutual search for it-why mutual Miss
Gascoigne best knew. It was she who picked it
up, and before she had delivered it back she had clearly
seen it all- handwriting, seal and tinted
envelope, with the initials “E. U.”
on the corner.
Some hidden feeling in both of them,
the lady and the servant, some last remnant of pity
and charity, prevented their confiding openly in one
another, even if Miss Gascoigne could have condescended
so far. But she knew as well as if Phillis had
told, and Phillis likewise was perfectly aware she
knew, that the note came from Sir Edwin Uniacke.
Poor Aunt Henrietta! She was
so horrified-literally horrified, that she
could bear no more. She left no message-waited
for nobody-but hurried back as fast as
she could walk, through twilight, to her own cottage
at Avonside.