And the murky planets, I perceived,
were but cradles for the infant spirits of the
universe of light.... And in sight of this
immeasurability of life no sadness could endure....
And I exclaimed, Oh! How beautiful is death,
seeing that we die in a world of life and of
creation without end! And I blessed God
for my life upon earth, but much more for the life
in those unseen depths of the universe which are comprised
of all but the Supreme Reality, and where no earthly
life or perishable hope can enter. Richter
For many weeks Erica had scarcely
a conscious interval. Now and then she had been
dimly aware that Brian was in the room, or that Aunt
Jean, and Mrs. MacNaughton, and her many secularist
friends were nursing her; but all had been vague,
dream-like, seen through the distorting fever-mist.
On night, however, she woke after a sleep of many hours
to see things once more as they really were.
There was her little room with its green-paneled walls,
and its familiar pictures, and familiar books.
There was Aunt Jean sitting beside the fire, turning
over the pages of an “Idol-Breaker,” while
all the air seemed to be ringing and echoing with
the sound of church bells.
“Auntie,” she said, “what day is
it?”
Aunt Jean came at once to her bedside.
“It is New Year’s day,”
she said; “it struck twelve about five minutes
ago, dear.”
Erica made no comment though the words
brought back to her the sense of her desolation brought
back to her, too, the remembrance of another New Year’s
day long ago when she had stood beside her father on
the deck of the steamer, and the bells of Calais had
gayly pealed in spite of her grief. She took
the food her aunt brought her, and promised to go to
sleep once more.
“I shall have to wake up again
in this misery!” she thought to herself.
“Oh, if one could only sleep right on!”
But God sometimes saves us from what
we have most dreaded; and when at sunrise Erica woke
once more, before any recollection returned to her
mind, she became conscious of One who said to her,
“Lo, I am with you always! Behold, I make
all things new!”
Streaks of golden light were stealing
in between the window curtains. She lay quite
still, able to face life once more in the strength
of that Inner Presence; able to endure the well-known
sights and sounds because she could once more realize
that there was One who made even “the wrath
of man to praise” Him; who, out of blackest evil
and cruelest pain, could at length bring good.
Presently, passing from the restfulness of that conscious
communion, she remembered a strange dream she had had
that night.
She had dreamed that she was sitting
with Donovan in the little church yard at Oakdene;
in her hand she held a Greek Testament, but upon the
page had only been able to see one sentence. It
ran thus, “Until the times of the Restitution
of all things.” Donovan had insisted that
the word should rightly be “restoration.”
She had clung to the old rendering. While they
discussed the distinction between the words, a beautiful
girl had all at once stood before them. Erica
knew in an instant who it must be by the light which
shone in her companion’s face.
“You are quite right,”
she had said, turning her beautiful eyes upon him.
“It is not the mere giving back of things that
were, it is the perfecting of that which was here
only in ideal; it is the carrying out of what might
have been. All the time there has been progress,
all the time growth, and so restoration is better,
wider, grander than anything we could dream of here!”
And, as she left them, there had come
to both a sort of vision of the Infinite, in sight
of which the whole of earthly existence was but as
an hour, and the sum of human suffering but as the
pin prick to a strong man, and yet both human suffering
and human existence were infinitely worth while.
And over them stole a wonderful peace as they realized
the greatness of God’s universe, and that in
it was no wasted thing, no wasted pain, but order
where there seemed confusion, and a soul of goodness
where there seemed evil.
And, after all, what was this dream
compared with the reality which she knew to exist?
Well, it was perhaps a little fragment, a dim shadow,
a seeing through the glass darkly; but mostly it was
a comfort because she was all the time conscious that
there was an infinitely Better which it has not entered
into the heart of man to conceive.
Brian came in for his morning visit
with a face so worn and anxious that it made her smile.
“Oh!” she said, looking
up at him with quiet, shining eyes, “how I have
been troubling you all these weeks! But you are
not to be troubled any more, darling. I am going
to get better.”
And with a sort of grateful, loving
tenderness, she drew his face down to hers and kissed
him.
“Where is Tom?” she asked
presently, beginning for the first time to take an
interest in the world again.
“Tom has gone to Oakdene for
a day or two,” said Brian. “He is
going to be Donovan’s private secretary.”
“How glad I am!” she said.
“Dear old Tom, he does so deserve to be happy!”
“They want you to go there as
soon as you are well enough to be moved,” said
Brian.
“I should like that,”
she said with a touch of her old eagerness of manner.
“I want to get well quickly; there is so much
work for us to do you know. Oh, Brian! I
feel that there is work which he would wish me
to do, and I’m so glad, so glad to be left to
do it!”
Brian thought of the enormous impetus
given to the cause of secularism by Raeburn’s
martyrdom. The momentary triumph of bigotry and
intolerance had, as in all other ages, been followed
by this inevitable consequence a dead loss to the
persecuting side. Would people at length learn
the lesson? Would the reign of justice at length
dawn? Would the majority at length believe that
the All Father needs not to be supported by persecuting
laws and unjust restrictions?
Yet it was not these thoughts which
brought the tears to his eyes it was the rapture caused
by Erica’s words.
“My darling will live, and is
glad to live!” he thought. “Who could
bear witness to the truth so well? Who be so
sweet a reconciler?”
“Why, Brian! Brian!”
exclaimed Erica as the great drops fell on her hand
lying clasped in his.
And there was that in tone and look
and touch which made Brian more than content.